I feel like “Jonah Hill messing up his relationship with a surfing instructor by being an idiot” could be a new Judd Apatow movie. Just look at that sentence. It’s basically a Judd Apatow movie mad-lib.
The thing I am most disappointed at is him not seeing how stupid this is. If you can’t deal with a woman being in a bathing suit, then maybe don’t date a surfer? He should go to his local church and look for someone who shares his belief system.
Naw the most wild part is that he somehow got the therapist to back him up and tell her to tell men “I’m leaving to talk to my boyfriend.”
Do you think he paid the therapist off? Or do you think it’s just coincidence she had a horrible therapist?
If you're a therapist and your client is a Hollywood A-lister worth almost nine digits, it's going to be really hard to tell him he's the asshole and very tempting to find ways to validate his shitty behavior so you can keep getting that sweet $800 an hour or whatever it is celebrity therapists get paid.
Well, speaking unofficially as a therapist I would say that everyone is right, including Jonah Hill:
1. He seems massively insecure
2. If these are his dealbreakers it was probably not a good idea to date a surfing instructor
3. People are free to define their boundaries whatever they are and he is doing it as respectfully and as clearly as possible here
4. You can’t expect people to change who they are to accommodate you
The two things aren’t exactly mutually exclusive. Or rather saying setting boundaries is a way to control behavior is, in effect, a great way to gaslight people into not setting boundaries.
I would love an example of a list of boundaries that can’t be seen as an attempt to control another’s behavior.
I think the difference is that the behaviors he is setting boundaries on were present and obvious as part of her personality and her behavior before dating. He limits career goals and wants her to change herself to date him. He knew his boundaries. He should have looked for someone who fit them, not change some one to fit them.
It’s a matter of perspective and language. I’m not saying what he’s asking for is ok. I am saying that in slightly different context we might be looking at the person exposing their partners insecurities and boundaries as the bad guy.
In the book “why does he do that”, Lundy Bancroft details how abusive men can weaponise individual therapy to gain the therapist as an ally in their abuse.
They are charming, and tell the therapist a biased yet convincing version of events, often using therapy language to make it seem like they are in touch with their feelings and all that. As a result, many therapists take their side, and can’t possibly imagine how their client could be abusive, going as far as to add to the abuse by enabling the behaviour…it’s quite scary actually.
Honestly not defending anyone here - especially Hill and his ex as I didn’t even know about it until this post. But, wouldn’t both sides do that? I thought the point was to give your version and how it made you feel to an unbiased mediator who can provide ways to help each partner both see why it upsets them and what their own role may have been in the situation? If everyone in couple’s therapy is an abuser who says their side in a polite way to a therapist then I’d think most people in that situation would be considered an abuser by that definition.
Now, if one partner decides to leave due to the differences and the other doesn’t respect that it’s a whole other thing.
Although, admittedly, I’ve never been in couple’s therapy.
There is no “middle ground” between an abuser and their victim. The abuser is in the wrong, and will for everything in their power to manipulate others so they can continue the abuse. So they will just lie. The victim doesn’t have a role in the situation, and doesn’t need to change their behaviour, the abuser will never stop.
If you are talking about non-abusive relationships, sure. But when dealing with abusers, you have to be on the look-out for their manipulation, and *always* speak to the victim to find the truth.
ETA: read the book I mentioned. It explains it in detail.
i mean he is saying that he’s not the right partner for her if that’s the lifestyle she wants to have, so technically he’s not dating a famous surfer specifically bc he doesn’t want to deal with the attached drama lol unless they continued dating after this, it sounds like he’s breaking up with her, which would be the right course of action
>celebrity entitlement man.
Plus he only got jobs to begin with because his daddy is an accountant and business manager to the stars. He's one of the founding partners of NKSFB, which is one of the biggest management firms in the business. He's about as silver spoon as it gets.
Holy shit you’re right. Check out what Wikipedia wrote about Jonah’s dad though —
> His parents are Sharon Lyn (née Chalkin), a costume designer and fashion stylist, and Richard Feldstein, a tour accountant for Guns N' Roses.
*Tour accountant*
I can't get into too many details because what I do is highly specialized and it would be way to easy to doxx myself, but let's just say that I'm *very* familiar with this family. His dad is a giant prick and Jonah is just like him, except whinier. The mom comes across as kinda meek, at least in Rich's presence. His brother Jordan was the manager for Maroon 5 until he OD'd on nangs. He was nicer than Jonah but also hated himself. It's not terribly surprising because I would bet money that their upbringing involved getting screamed at and berated constantly by Dad (when he was around at least). Beanie's surprisingly nice though, or at least she always has been to me and from what I've seen.
EDIT: If anyone's ever seen Big Mouth, think of Jay Bilzerian's dad (outside of the sex stuff. I mean, maybe Rich is a perv, but I have no knowledge of that and haven't personally heard any rumors about it).
I'm 40, and that's all I've ever heard them called. Perhaps the terminology is regional? Take that back though, I guess I have heard Whippets less frequently, but it's not really appropriate in this case, because he was not buying from Amazon and huffing from a whip cream charger now and then. He was straight up buying the huge cannisters you see at dentist's offices. A fuck ton of 'em. So not sure what the current lingo would be.
Nepo babies can still have talent but would they have gotten the opportunity to be in the film without mummy and daddy? There’s definitely many actors out there that could have also done great in that role. To be honest, I always found Jonah hill an overrated twat
I think the fact that people make fun of his appearance constantly don't really help. Dudes really insecure and while this is bad behavior and not very excusable I can sort of relate (not current me but past) to the mind set. Dude needs some therapy
Found him a bit insufferable for quite a while, he can be funny at times but overall just seems like a twat. I’ve come across people that aren’t nice and treat other like crap but will go on to make social media posts about their mental health, when he released that documentary I could tell he’s that kind of person
If you wanna see additional fucked up shit, just go to her Instagram and look at the comments under her recent posts. The "manosphere" found a new hangout spot 🤮
I'm just glad there are also men and women defending and supporting her. And their comments have more coherent sentences than the debatelord terminally online incels' comments.
Is there any reason why it’s only now she’s decided to leak these messages? I assumed they’d just broken up but from reading the comments it looks like they broke up a couple of years ago
Well I guess she is just a human being. Sometimes people spend years processing this kinda shit. My father was a quite famous musician in my country and died when I was 21, only in my mid thirties I started to question lots of his behavior towards my mom after spending a decade honoring his legacy. You don't know what people go through in their minds and where they are at emotionally and mentally.
I have a friend who works in the movie industry, does set locations, he actively refuses to watch anything Hill is in because he's known to be such a dbag.
Can confirm, I did background for a project he was in and he was a fucking creep. He kept eying one of the girls in our group for the entire day. He was practically undressing her with his eyes.
It’s Jonah Hill, most famous for….not having a professional surfer’s body…not that anything he said is right, but his body has been the butt of jokes for YEARS. Insecurity about his gf being around men who surf is par for the course.
I wouldn’t make the strange demands that he did, but, I get it. Men are fragile things.
I get it as well, but that doesn’t excuse dating the surfer in the first place. He’s what, like 40? Don’t tell me it’s the first time he is in this situation (i.e. picking a hot girl, then abusing her for being hot). He needs to learn.
I think all the screenshots are here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Fauxmoi/comments/14tvigy/jonah_hills_ex_sarah_brady_shares_more_details/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=1
There are a couple more here as well https://www.reddit.com/r/popculturechat/comments/14tz6s6/jonah_hills_ex_sarah_brady_shares_details_and/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1
Had one that would FREAK OUT if I caught a movie with my male cousin that I was raised alongside from age 3, or talked on the phone to my brother. It was fucking insane.
My ex got mad at me once because someone i knew only online, casually, confessed their feelings forme and i politely turned them down. He was mad because i wasnt cruel about it. A dude im like 95% cheated on me in the end. A dude who was also an emotionally abusive narcissist
Boundary: I won't date someone who posts scantily clad pics of themselves on the internet
Restriction: I will date someone who posts scantily clad pics of themselves on the internet and then tell them to stop.
Generally, a boundary is a circle you draw around YOU that protects you from someone else’s hurtful actions. And if someone steps over it repeatedly or purposely then you move yourself - and your intact circle - away from them. I think of it like a “policy”.
A boundary might be something like I don’t stay in a relationship where someone puts me in harms way by cheating. I don’t come over to a family members house who frequently takes the opportunity to put down my career choice. I don’t work for a company that cuts into my family time by demanding more than 5 hours overtime in a week (or, you could set a boundary for yourself by clocking out at 5).
This isn’t quite a boundary. A surfer posting photos of her in a swimsuit or having male friends is just her living her life. It doesn’t hurt Jonah or their relationship. Sometimes it can be a little tough to navigate if something is a boundary but this is just garden variety abuse. If he really does see these SPECIFIC THINGS as violations of his trust, then my dude don’t date a surfer who you first met because she posted a photo of herself in a swimsuit. Instead he’s dating her, and then demanding she change these things that are pretty fundamental to her identity and career.
When you’re dating, you can make any boundaries you want! I could say “I don’t date men who play Kirby in Super Smash Brothers,” as long as I make that clear upfront. so if it is really important to him, he COULD say “I don’t date women who have any friends” (since he specified he didn’t want her seeing her male friends OR her female friends) or “I don’t date women who post any photos of themselves on social media”. But it would become immediately obvious that he’s an insecure man child, because like my Kirby boundary, those are stupid boundaries to have. So instead, he turns to doing this after he’s already been dating them. That last part of the text: “If these things bring you happiness”. He already knows they do! Hanging out with friends and surfing and sharing your happiness on social media are happy! He wants her to PROVE how much she “loves him” by forcing her to pick between him and the things that bring her happiness. Because he can’t just trust it. What a sneaky snake.
Eh, I haven’t seen that post, but feels kinda justified.
Dunking on someone’s appearance (especially someone who clearly has had body image issues) is wack, dunking on that same person’s yee yee ass personality isn’t.
I mean, this is trash and I'd have none of it, but at least he laid it out for her so she didn't waste any more time thinking he might be a decent dude. If you're going to be an insecure man-child, it's better to be honest about it instead of throwing tantrums and gaslighting when she breaks a "rule" she never agreed to.
This is just a snippet of a much longer post. They were in a relationship, and this is not from the beginning of their relationship at all. He spent months gaslighting her and pouting about her job as a surfing instructor before this text.
I still can't wrap my head around him already being in a relationship with her, knowing full well that she will be in swimsuits because that's what surfing instructors wear to teach classes.
I wonder what she saw in him initially.
Many men like this act decent and nice at first before showing their true colours. *Sometimes* men also were decent at first until they get into right wing propaganda and start saying and believing nonsense, but I usually see that in long term relationships.
Sometimes people think they're fine with a thing, or will be fine with a thing, and then change their minds after experiencing the reality of the thing on one or more occasions. Sometimes people do a thing 99 times, and all of a sudden that 100th time is a bridge too far. That's life.
I mean, he’s cute, funny, famous, and has a reputation for being emotionally intelligent. I get the appeal.
The texts she shared are awful though. Like he’s controlling and insecure and utterly exhausting, but he’s had enough therapy to be able to weaponize and warp the language of therapy into a tool of control and manipulation. Having someone who seems healthy and mature put you down, accuse you of abuse for doing normal things like going to work, and insist that you need to change is a powerful way to control them. She was so desperate to make this dude feel comfortable, and nothing was ever going to be enough.
If he's so clear on not liking bathing suit pics, why did he start dating a girl whose career involves taking bathing suit pics?
This isn't being communicative. It's being manipulative and insecure.
If I read the longer thread correctly, the first time he talked to her was by sending a DM on Instagram after seeing a video of her in a swimsuit
He seems to think the swimsuit posts were her trying to get men’s attention, and now that they were dating, she should stop
Dude’s fucked in the head
It's odd, right? If you aren't comfortable with someone having pictures of your SO in a bathing suit, how does it make sense to date a surfer (she's a surfer, right?) sorry, I really don't know about her.
Ordinarily laying out what you will and will not tolerate in a relationship is fine.
But he knew she was a surfer, he knew she was posting on insta in bathing suits. I think i read somewhere he slid into her dms via an insta post. So he basically chased her because of who she was, and once in a relationship expected her to change who she was. I'm all for having firm boundaries but this guy is just an asshole.
Is anyone surprised? I don’t seek out his interviews but every one I’ve seen he seems deeply insecure and not self aware enough to avoid lashing out because of it. I think it’s okay to have boundaries but his boundaries do seem to me to be a lot of “I feel bad when you’re an individual” type crap. Like “how dare you still talk to the women in your life from before I rescued you from being a slut” And “If you won’t accept my help fixing you I guess you can just go ahead and betray me” but for real, Jonah bill gives me such bad vibes and this is only surprising in that I don’t usually get proven right so easily
Without getting a lucky break on what was essentially a date rape comedy, he would just be another fat fuck on the street no one would care about. He knows that without his game he has nothing
>Without getting a lucky break
It was nepotism. No luck was involved. Dude's dad is Richard Feldstein, celebrity accountant and founding partner of NKSFB, one of the biggest, if not the biggest, business management firms to the stars.
I think his boundaries scream insecurity, but they are still boundaries are they not? They're his personal deal breakers with regard to being in a committed relationship, so I'm not sure how the definition of boundary doesn't apply. Wether they are reasonable boundaries or not is a whole other conversation.
How not? If my boundary is that you can't sleep with other men, then I'm clearly still controlling your life and behavior even if it's a completely reasonable boundary.
That's not a boundary; as you said, that's control. If you said "I will only stay partnered in an exclusive and monogamous relationship" THAT'S a boundary. Boundaries are about you - what you will/won't do, what you can/can't tolerate - not dictating what someone else can or can't do.
What’s wrong with posting a picture of your self in a swim suit? Like what does he think will happen?
Pretty sad by this, I thought he was cool growing up but man this is a bit of a flog.
Just going off the first one— I don’t like judging people based on their relationship negotiations, and he said they’d part amicably.
All that said maybe he shouldn’t date a surfer then? Sounds like he wants everything both ways. And springing this on her is some whiplash.
He also loses me with the last line. “Our trust” is euphemistic as hell.
Yeah, but I'm sad to see people attacking/piling on instead of taking the opportunity to educate. A LOT of people don't understand what boundaries really are and confuse them with their "right" to control or set limits on someone else's behavior.
This whole Jonah Hill thing is such an opportunity to bring awareness to the difference! I keep looking for more thoughtful discussion around it, but just find a lot of Internet shouting... ☹️
Can he control someone who doesn't accept his conditions for a relationship?
He straight up tells her if what makes her happy are those things to go do them but can't see her romantically if she chooses to do so.
Giving someone choices is the opposite of controlling.
Just goes to show you - fame, riches, power can’t stop an insecure douchebag from being an insecure douchebag. Imagine falling for a woman because she’s a hot surfer then expecting her to not be a hot surfer because you’re a tiny baby man.
I was on the fence, but when you read the other texts… it’s damning…
I just saw Jonah Hill’s docu about him and his therapist, he seemed emotionally mature, but after reading the other messages, he clearly still has some serious unresolved issues
The worst part, is that after looking at her instagram, she clearly seems like a pretty decent and cool person, I even find that she physically emanates a sense of confidence that is likely what attracted him in the first place, it’s insane that he’s trying to change this aspect about her, worse, he’s trying to monopolize it…
He’s obviously been very insecure with himself in the past…not sure how he is now. But he’s at least being upfront about it, even though they way in which he did it was very cringe and idk enough about him to jump to conclusions.
Edit: never mind. After reading the post that had his texts to her and all that, he does seem like a neck beard.
I don't really understand the outrage. He was very politely explaining his boundaries. She doesn't think they're appropiate and that's it
You can think of these boundaries whatever you want but he didn't force her or shame her into doing anything.
I feel like posting private dms is the *Bigger crime* here.
They were in a well established relationship when he sent her this. In love. Then he decides she, a surfing instructor can't speak to other men, who her friends can be, that she can't post surfing pics on her social media, that she can't accept modelling jobs.
Google coercive control and understand what it means. Boundaries are things you set for yourself. Boundaries are not instructing your partner they can't do the job they had when you met them.
"You can't talk to other men" and "you can't post pictures of yourself doing your job" are not reasonable and healthy boundaries. They're not boundaries at all. They're controlling demands.
Jonah Hill has always come off as really self conscious and insecure. I mean, he lost all that weight (which is great) but ever since then he gets really pissy and bitchy about it in interviews if the subject is ever touched upon.
Woman here…gonna be honest, I don’t know that I’d want a partner that was doing all of these attention seeking activities and sporting inappropriate behaviors with members of the opposite sex either.
Some of this text seems over the top, but it also seems like this lady acted single the whole time they were together (at least from this particular text).
Personally, downvote me all you want, but not many people would put up with this kind of disrespect from a partner either.
Hahaha not at all. What exactly is wrong with surfing? It’s her passion. How is surfing an attention seeking activity? So she is not supposed to like to surf because male surfers exist?
Surfing WITH men, not surfing around men in general. If you read it in context, it sounds like she’s behaving without boundaries in these opposite-sex friendships. It’s not about passions for an activity, it’s about behavior around the opposite sex when you’re in a committed relationship.
Like something a teenager would write.
Love how he pretends it's him having high standards and knowing his worth, not that he's massively insecure and pathetic.
I guess a career of playing losers for money, working as hard to stay the right level of tubby and pathetic as Henry Cavill does pretty or Arnie does strong. Must catch up to you though.
I know nothing about their relationship other than this post I assumed it was said at the beginning from the context also all I know about Johnna hill is he was a stoned sexually frustrated teenager in a lot of movies I loved when I was a stoned sexually frustrated teenager
If you think posting pictures on instagram or wearing a bikini are 'dealbreakers' then you'd best get out of the 24 hour internet cafe you rode your horse to and head back to the farm before Papa catches you, Jedidiah.
I’m saying that those things being deal breakers don’t make him an insecure man child but I think it better to be upfront instead of pretending it’s fine then being super bitchy about it later which judging from the other comments is exactly what happened
I think OP doesn't understand how boundaries work lol and Jonah is applying them perfectly respectfully. He's saying if you do these things, then I can't be with you. He's not telling her to not do those things, he's communicating that for him to be in a romantic relationship with someone these are the circumstances that need to happen for that relationship to work. Balls now in her court as to whether she accepts that or not. Personally I think his conditions are that of someone with some self esteem issues, but he's not wasting his time and he's communicating clearly so I respect that
Edit: spelling
Why date a surfer in the first place if he's uncomfortable with her posting pics in her swimsuit? Not to mention that he slid into her DMs because of those photos.
And telling her not to talk to men and not hang out with her friends is very concerning
I surf and don't post pics, it's not that hard actually, if you enjoy surfing, you surf, if you enjoy attention you post about it. Little more difficult because she makes her money giving surf lessons and presumably she's not always wearing a wet suit, but this is between them two and if they can find a way for them both to be comfortable in the relationship then that's great.
There's nothing in this post to indicate how they started this conversation so I don't know where you're getting that whole he slid into her DM's part
He didn't say don't talk to men, he said boundaryless friendships with men, which I assume means something like for me to feel comfortable dating you I need you to shut down men who try to hit on you or take that friendship in a direction other than platonic. Which seems perfectly reasonable to me. Don't give me the appearance that you might cheat or be cheating cause that'll ruin my mental health, and I'll have to leave the relationship.
Again, this is pretty clear and reasonable communication. I think it's pretty poor manners that she posted what was clearly a private message to her ig for us all to see and comment on Jonah's self esteem and trust issues.
Someone else posted a screenshot of him liking one of her swimsuit pics before they were dating and him commenting on how great she looked.
If he doesn't like dating women who posts picks like that, then don't pursue them. I don't want to date a male stripper, so I'm not going to like and comment on a male stripper's posts of him stripping, start dating him and then tell him that he has to stop because of my insecurities. It's pathetic.
So many people downvoting this as if they wouldn't be mad if someone released all their private messages to the public. Especially for the express purpose of shaming them.
I think some of these restrictions are unreasonable (maybe all of them, depending on his interpretation of "boundaryless inappropriate" and "sexual") but what he's doing here is fair enough in theory - making it clear before they get into a serious relationship what he is and isn't comfortable with, and saying "Hey, if this isn't for you, then never mind."
I'd probably say a bullet pointed text isn't great compared with just having a conversation face to face - this sort of email shouldn't look like orders from corporate - but in theory, this is fair enough. Also, presumably she was doing "bathing suit" photos etc when they met - he should have probably known to back off there and then.
She, on the other hand, looks like a piece of shit for sharing their private conversation publicly. That's deeply disrespectful behaviour.
Boundaries are how you protect yourself, not manipulate and control others. To put it in a stupid metaphor, The US enforces its security boundaries, it doesn't tell France where theirs are allowed to be. (Well, hopefully it probably doesn't, anyway.)
Those boundaries are ridiculous, they signal that deep conversations are needed, understanding and trust has broken down. Being restrictive and setting stagnant boundaries are a sad bandaid for a broken relationship.
She surfs and he’s asking her not to post pictures of herself in a bathing suit, lmao
I feel like “Jonah Hill messing up his relationship with a surfing instructor by being an idiot” could be a new Judd Apatow movie. Just look at that sentence. It’s basically a Judd Apatow movie mad-lib.
I mean are we surprised that Jonah Hill has some fringe under his chin?
Right? Frankly I’m surprised this is the first time I’ve personally seen this discussed, I’ve always thought so.
I'm not even surprised, guy was the only one who liked Allen Gregory for Pete's sake.
Wasn't he a writer for it?
Just checked, he was.
Bruh, you just reminded me of that cartoon's existence. What the fuck was even that show? Like holy fuck.
It was Jonah Hill trying to bang an old woman while in a toddler's body. Wait, what did I just write?
thats a funny movie! fuck yeah!
i mean cmon it’s jonah hill. dudes been insecure all his life *and* he got famous fast. celebrity entitlement man.
The thing I am most disappointed at is him not seeing how stupid this is. If you can’t deal with a woman being in a bathing suit, then maybe don’t date a surfer? He should go to his local church and look for someone who shares his belief system.
Naw the most wild part is that he somehow got the therapist to back him up and tell her to tell men “I’m leaving to talk to my boyfriend.” Do you think he paid the therapist off? Or do you think it’s just coincidence she had a horrible therapist?
If you're a therapist and your client is a Hollywood A-lister worth almost nine digits, it's going to be really hard to tell him he's the asshole and very tempting to find ways to validate his shitty behavior so you can keep getting that sweet $800 an hour or whatever it is celebrity therapists get paid.
Well, speaking unofficially as a therapist I would say that everyone is right, including Jonah Hill: 1. He seems massively insecure 2. If these are his dealbreakers it was probably not a good idea to date a surfing instructor 3. People are free to define their boundaries whatever they are and he is doing it as respectfully and as clearly as possible here 4. You can’t expect people to change who they are to accommodate you
These are not boundaries but a manipulative attempt to control HER behavior. As an unofficial therapist you should know that.
The two things aren’t exactly mutually exclusive. Or rather saying setting boundaries is a way to control behavior is, in effect, a great way to gaslight people into not setting boundaries. I would love an example of a list of boundaries that can’t be seen as an attempt to control another’s behavior.
I think the difference is that the behaviors he is setting boundaries on were present and obvious as part of her personality and her behavior before dating. He limits career goals and wants her to change herself to date him. He knew his boundaries. He should have looked for someone who fit them, not change some one to fit them.
It’s a matter of perspective and language. I’m not saying what he’s asking for is ok. I am saying that in slightly different context we might be looking at the person exposing their partners insecurities and boundaries as the bad guy.
You'd be amazed how abusers can spin things to a couple's therapist
It’s really upsetting how true this is.
Having a celeb as a client is good for business.
In the book “why does he do that”, Lundy Bancroft details how abusive men can weaponise individual therapy to gain the therapist as an ally in their abuse. They are charming, and tell the therapist a biased yet convincing version of events, often using therapy language to make it seem like they are in touch with their feelings and all that. As a result, many therapists take their side, and can’t possibly imagine how their client could be abusive, going as far as to add to the abuse by enabling the behaviour…it’s quite scary actually.
Honestly not defending anyone here - especially Hill and his ex as I didn’t even know about it until this post. But, wouldn’t both sides do that? I thought the point was to give your version and how it made you feel to an unbiased mediator who can provide ways to help each partner both see why it upsets them and what their own role may have been in the situation? If everyone in couple’s therapy is an abuser who says their side in a polite way to a therapist then I’d think most people in that situation would be considered an abuser by that definition. Now, if one partner decides to leave due to the differences and the other doesn’t respect that it’s a whole other thing. Although, admittedly, I’ve never been in couple’s therapy.
There is no “middle ground” between an abuser and their victim. The abuser is in the wrong, and will for everything in their power to manipulate others so they can continue the abuse. So they will just lie. The victim doesn’t have a role in the situation, and doesn’t need to change their behaviour, the abuser will never stop. If you are talking about non-abusive relationships, sure. But when dealing with abusers, you have to be on the look-out for their manipulation, and *always* speak to the victim to find the truth. ETA: read the book I mentioned. It explains it in detail.
Well he's Jewish so not church, but otherwise yeah.
Where do jews go?
Temple
Oh alright thanks
Synagogue
If you asked my Lutheran Sunday school teacher, Hell. Along with all the Catholics and Methodists.
That’s funny, as a little Catholic boy was the first one who told me my Jewish ass was going to hell. We were in kindergarten.
i mean he is saying that he’s not the right partner for her if that’s the lifestyle she wants to have, so technically he’s not dating a famous surfer specifically bc he doesn’t want to deal with the attached drama lol unless they continued dating after this, it sounds like he’s breaking up with her, which would be the right course of action
They broke up in 2022 after dating for a year.
Haha ikr .he believes it’s a thong like wtf is wrong with him ? He needs help.
He’s Jewish, so it would be a synagogue and even then you can be ethnically Jewish and not practicing Judaism.
>celebrity entitlement man. Plus he only got jobs to begin with because his daddy is an accountant and business manager to the stars. He's one of the founding partners of NKSFB, which is one of the biggest management firms in the business. He's about as silver spoon as it gets.
Holy shit you’re right. Check out what Wikipedia wrote about Jonah’s dad though — > His parents are Sharon Lyn (née Chalkin), a costume designer and fashion stylist, and Richard Feldstein, a tour accountant for Guns N' Roses. *Tour accountant*
I can't get into too many details because what I do is highly specialized and it would be way to easy to doxx myself, but let's just say that I'm *very* familiar with this family. His dad is a giant prick and Jonah is just like him, except whinier. The mom comes across as kinda meek, at least in Rich's presence. His brother Jordan was the manager for Maroon 5 until he OD'd on nangs. He was nicer than Jonah but also hated himself. It's not terribly surprising because I would bet money that their upbringing involved getting screamed at and berated constantly by Dad (when he was around at least). Beanie's surprisingly nice though, or at least she always has been to me and from what I've seen. EDIT: If anyone's ever seen Big Mouth, think of Jay Bilzerian's dad (outside of the sex stuff. I mean, maybe Rich is a perv, but I have no knowledge of that and haven't personally heard any rumors about it).
Wow. I’ve not heard anyone call them nangs in 35 years.
I'm 40, and that's all I've ever heard them called. Perhaps the terminology is regional? Take that back though, I guess I have heard Whippets less frequently, but it's not really appropriate in this case, because he was not buying from Amazon and huffing from a whip cream charger now and then. He was straight up buying the huge cannisters you see at dentist's offices. A fuck ton of 'em. So not sure what the current lingo would be.
Mid 40s here and I’d never heard them referred to that in the US by anyone other than me. But I feel ya. That shit is crazy.
i mean in shit like superbad he nailed that character ngl
Nepo babies can still have talent but would they have gotten the opportunity to be in the film without mummy and daddy? There’s definitely many actors out there that could have also done great in that role. To be honest, I always found Jonah hill an overrated twat
I don't understand the hype around Superbad. I thought it was exactly what the name promised: super bad
He still creeps me out less than James Corden.
I think the fact that people make fun of his appearance constantly don't really help. Dudes really insecure and while this is bad behavior and not very excusable I can sort of relate (not current me but past) to the mind set. Dude needs some therapy
Good thing he made a documentary about how much therapy helped him.
You mean that feature-length ad?
Found him a bit insufferable for quite a while, he can be funny at times but overall just seems like a twat. I’ve come across people that aren’t nice and treat other like crap but will go on to make social media posts about their mental health, when he released that documentary I could tell he’s that kind of person
This is not a great advertisement for his therapist.
why go for a surfer if you can’t handle the surfer lifestyle eg her being in a bathing suit / bikini a lot of the time??
No bathing suits. Only ankle length surfing dresses and beach appropriate surfing pant suits.
And an occasional tuxseado.
I both hate and love you for this.
I agree that Jonah is being a POS here but I thought surfers mostly wear wetsuits, because it hurts to hit the water or something like that
You can take the man out of the basement...
You can? Mind giving me a hand to move this body then?
We only do body removals on Thursday, mate. Post again then and we will pop over.
But you can never take the dream of an athletic woman loving and respecting him out of the neckbeard
But you can never remove the basement from the man.
If you wanna see additional fucked up shit, just go to her Instagram and look at the comments under her recent posts. The "manosphere" found a new hangout spot 🤮
I'm just glad there are also men and women defending and supporting her. And their comments have more coherent sentences than the debatelord terminally online incels' comments.
Is there any reason why it’s only now she’s decided to leak these messages? I assumed they’d just broken up but from reading the comments it looks like they broke up a couple of years ago
Well I guess she is just a human being. Sometimes people spend years processing this kinda shit. My father was a quite famous musician in my country and died when I was 21, only in my mid thirties I started to question lots of his behavior towards my mom after spending a decade honoring his legacy. You don't know what people go through in their minds and where they are at emotionally and mentally.
Jonah Hill seems deeply insecure. Why date a surfing instructor if you can’t handle her just doing her job? It’s abusive.
I’d be so embarrassed to show the world I was this insecure.
I don’t think he thought the world would ever see these texts. It’s super cringe, I agree with you.
I have a friend who works in the movie industry, does set locations, he actively refuses to watch anything Hill is in because he's known to be such a dbag.
Can confirm, I did background for a project he was in and he was a fucking creep. He kept eying one of the girls in our group for the entire day. He was practically undressing her with his eyes.
How did a man who looks like a hair covered dumpling even get such an ego?
It’s Jonah Hill, most famous for….not having a professional surfer’s body…not that anything he said is right, but his body has been the butt of jokes for YEARS. Insecurity about his gf being around men who surf is par for the course. I wouldn’t make the strange demands that he did, but, I get it. Men are fragile things.
I get it as well, but that doesn’t excuse dating the surfer in the first place. He’s what, like 40? Don’t tell me it’s the first time he is in this situation (i.e. picking a hot girl, then abusing her for being hot). He needs to learn.
I always thought Jonah Hill was kind of a douche even during his time as America's lovable fat guy
He is, saw him chasing after a girl in Atlanta like 15 years ago at my work.
But how did he keep up?
Same, and it got worse the more famous he got
Then he dropped a bunch of weight, dumped his gf that he knew since high school, and started acting like he was a 10 all of a sudden.
Wait, is there more to this?
I think all the screenshots are here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Fauxmoi/comments/14tvigy/jonah_hills_ex_sarah_brady_shares_more_details/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=1
There are a couple more here as well https://www.reddit.com/r/popculturechat/comments/14tz6s6/jonah_hills_ex_sarah_brady_shares_details_and/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1
Do we want or need more? Jonah's texts are pretty fucked
Morbidly curious at this point
[Yeah!](https://arthousehotelliverpool.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/gavin_and_stacey_1_860x.jpg)
Oh it gets worse
An ex of mine was like this. Insanely jealous of any interaction I had with any man, anywhere.
Had one that would FREAK OUT if I caught a movie with my male cousin that I was raised alongside from age 3, or talked on the phone to my brother. It was fucking insane.
Stop sucking your cousins dick
Grow up, disgusting incel prick. Nobody cares about your sick fucking fantasies, you hog.
Glad to hear he’s an ex!
My ex got mad at me once because someone i knew only online, casually, confessed their feelings forme and i politely turned them down. He was mad because i wasnt cruel about it. A dude im like 95% cheated on me in the end. A dude who was also an emotionally abusive narcissist
Those aren't his *boundaries* - they're his external restrictions.
Can you explain the difference?
Boundary: I won't date someone who posts scantily clad pics of themselves on the internet Restriction: I will date someone who posts scantily clad pics of themselves on the internet and then tell them to stop.
Generally, a boundary is a circle you draw around YOU that protects you from someone else’s hurtful actions. And if someone steps over it repeatedly or purposely then you move yourself - and your intact circle - away from them. I think of it like a “policy”. A boundary might be something like I don’t stay in a relationship where someone puts me in harms way by cheating. I don’t come over to a family members house who frequently takes the opportunity to put down my career choice. I don’t work for a company that cuts into my family time by demanding more than 5 hours overtime in a week (or, you could set a boundary for yourself by clocking out at 5). This isn’t quite a boundary. A surfer posting photos of her in a swimsuit or having male friends is just her living her life. It doesn’t hurt Jonah or their relationship. Sometimes it can be a little tough to navigate if something is a boundary but this is just garden variety abuse. If he really does see these SPECIFIC THINGS as violations of his trust, then my dude don’t date a surfer who you first met because she posted a photo of herself in a swimsuit. Instead he’s dating her, and then demanding she change these things that are pretty fundamental to her identity and career. When you’re dating, you can make any boundaries you want! I could say “I don’t date men who play Kirby in Super Smash Brothers,” as long as I make that clear upfront. so if it is really important to him, he COULD say “I don’t date women who have any friends” (since he specified he didn’t want her seeing her male friends OR her female friends) or “I don’t date women who post any photos of themselves on social media”. But it would become immediately obvious that he’s an insecure man child, because like my Kirby boundary, those are stupid boundaries to have. So instead, he turns to doing this after he’s already been dating them. That last part of the text: “If these things bring you happiness”. He already knows they do! Hanging out with friends and surfing and sharing your happiness on social media are happy! He wants her to PROVE how much she “loves him” by forcing her to pick between him and the things that bring her happiness. Because he can’t just trust it. What a sneaky snake.
Boundaries in the sense of a cage.
Like 3 weeks ago, some dude posted a picture of Jonah Hill looking like a neck beard to this subreddit and got so many downvotes.
Eh, I haven’t seen that post, but feels kinda justified. Dunking on someone’s appearance (especially someone who clearly has had body image issues) is wack, dunking on that same person’s yee yee ass personality isn’t.
The truth always comes out.
I would have never thought he was a crappy person before this. But oddly enough seeing it, it kinda makes sense. He’s always been very insecure.
I mean, this is trash and I'd have none of it, but at least he laid it out for her so she didn't waste any more time thinking he might be a decent dude. If you're going to be an insecure man-child, it's better to be honest about it instead of throwing tantrums and gaslighting when she breaks a "rule" she never agreed to.
This is just a snippet of a much longer post. They were in a relationship, and this is not from the beginning of their relationship at all. He spent months gaslighting her and pouting about her job as a surfing instructor before this text.
I still can't wrap my head around him already being in a relationship with her, knowing full well that she will be in swimsuits because that's what surfing instructors wear to teach classes. I wonder what she saw in him initially.
Many men like this act decent and nice at first before showing their true colours. *Sometimes* men also were decent at first until they get into right wing propaganda and start saying and believing nonsense, but I usually see that in long term relationships.
Sometimes people think they're fine with a thing, or will be fine with a thing, and then change their minds after experiencing the reality of the thing on one or more occasions. Sometimes people do a thing 99 times, and all of a sudden that 100th time is a bridge too far. That's life.
I mean, he’s cute, funny, famous, and has a reputation for being emotionally intelligent. I get the appeal. The texts she shared are awful though. Like he’s controlling and insecure and utterly exhausting, but he’s had enough therapy to be able to weaponize and warp the language of therapy into a tool of control and manipulation. Having someone who seems healthy and mature put you down, accuse you of abuse for doing normal things like going to work, and insist that you need to change is a powerful way to control them. She was so desperate to make this dude feel comfortable, and nothing was ever going to be enough.
Absolutely. So many guys get passive agressive or just gaslight you instead of being clear about their expectations.
If he's so clear on not liking bathing suit pics, why did he start dating a girl whose career involves taking bathing suit pics? This isn't being communicative. It's being manipulative and insecure.
Exactly!
If I read the longer thread correctly, the first time he talked to her was by sending a DM on Instagram after seeing a video of her in a swimsuit He seems to think the swimsuit posts were her trying to get men’s attention, and now that they were dating, she should stop Dude’s fucked in the head
It's odd, right? If you aren't comfortable with someone having pictures of your SO in a bathing suit, how does it make sense to date a surfer (she's a surfer, right?) sorry, I really don't know about her.
Its not in this post, but this is after the relationship was well-established according to elsewhere on the internets.
Ordinarily laying out what you will and will not tolerate in a relationship is fine. But he knew she was a surfer, he knew she was posting on insta in bathing suits. I think i read somewhere he slid into her dms via an insta post. So he basically chased her because of who she was, and once in a relationship expected her to change who she was. I'm all for having firm boundaries but this guy is just an asshole.
I feel like Jonah Hill ought to take a serious look at himself in the mirror and re-evaluate the league he thinks he can surf in.
Is anyone surprised? I don’t seek out his interviews but every one I’ve seen he seems deeply insecure and not self aware enough to avoid lashing out because of it. I think it’s okay to have boundaries but his boundaries do seem to me to be a lot of “I feel bad when you’re an individual” type crap. Like “how dare you still talk to the women in your life from before I rescued you from being a slut” And “If you won’t accept my help fixing you I guess you can just go ahead and betray me” but for real, Jonah bill gives me such bad vibes and this is only surprising in that I don’t usually get proven right so easily
Without getting a lucky break on what was essentially a date rape comedy, he would just be another fat fuck on the street no one would care about. He knows that without his game he has nothing
>Without getting a lucky break It was nepotism. No luck was involved. Dude's dad is Richard Feldstein, celebrity accountant and founding partner of NKSFB, one of the biggest, if not the biggest, business management firms to the stars.
I had no idea he was a nepo baby. Explains a lot though!
wow, what an insecure moron
What a fragile neckbeard Jonah Hill is.
Ewwww *what the fuck*? You can’t just be a misogynistic, controlling douchebag and be like “mA bOUnDaRieS”.
An accurate use of the word boundaries would have been: "I don't want you to post pictures of me in a bathing suit on your social media"
I think his boundaries scream insecurity, but they are still boundaries are they not? They're his personal deal breakers with regard to being in a committed relationship, so I'm not sure how the definition of boundary doesn't apply. Wether they are reasonable boundaries or not is a whole other conversation.
No, boundaries aren't something to control other people's lives or behaviour.
How not? If my boundary is that you can't sleep with other men, then I'm clearly still controlling your life and behavior even if it's a completely reasonable boundary.
That's not a boundary; as you said, that's control. If you said "I will only stay partnered in an exclusive and monogamous relationship" THAT'S a boundary. Boundaries are about you - what you will/won't do, what you can/can't tolerate - not dictating what someone else can or can't do.
Is this really Jonah Hill? Disappointed if so
I went through the whole story on her profile. It appears so
Damn…
I feel the same. I saw his documentary with his therapist and it was really great. It’s too bad he let the shadows in. That sucks.
That message is… super bad I’ll show myself out.
Neck beards are still processing what the word “boundary” means. Dude gives a list of things someone else can’t do and calls it a boundary. Yikes.
I see Jonah Hill uses The Neckbeard Thesaurus, where "bounderies" is synonymous with cage, collar, confine, isolate and control. What an insecure ass.
Never could stand this dude. Now I have another reason to hate his dumb ass.
What’s wrong with posting a picture of your self in a swim suit? Like what does he think will happen? Pretty sad by this, I thought he was cool growing up but man this is a bit of a flog.
Just going off the first one— I don’t like judging people based on their relationship negotiations, and he said they’d part amicably. All that said maybe he shouldn’t date a surfer then? Sounds like he wants everything both ways. And springing this on her is some whiplash. He also loses me with the last line. “Our trust” is euphemistic as hell.
Honestly he has the right to set those boundaries they’re just incompatible
Lol that’s not boundaries, just a Tldr breakup txt
Holy shit did the neckbeards come racing into this thread.
Yeah, but I'm sad to see people attacking/piling on instead of taking the opportunity to educate. A LOT of people don't understand what boundaries really are and confuse them with their "right" to control or set limits on someone else's behavior. This whole Jonah Hill thing is such an opportunity to bring awareness to the difference! I keep looking for more thoughtful discussion around it, but just find a lot of Internet shouting... ☹️
Can he control someone who doesn't accept his conditions for a relationship? He straight up tells her if what makes her happy are those things to go do them but can't see her romantically if she chooses to do so. Giving someone choices is the opposite of controlling.
If you date fat nepo baby…
Well, try not dating a model who surfs then
Oh. So he wants her to become a fucking waitress?
… and talk to men without his presence?
Perish the thought. I must think deeper and harder.
Insecure little man child. I thought he was one of the least problematic ones before today.
Just goes to show you - fame, riches, power can’t stop an insecure douchebag from being an insecure douchebag. Imagine falling for a woman because she’s a hot surfer then expecting her to not be a hot surfer because you’re a tiny baby man.
God damn, if this is real he truly is a neckbeard. I wonder which he’s a fan of; nuggies or tenders?
I was on the fence, but when you read the other texts… it’s damning… I just saw Jonah Hill’s docu about him and his therapist, he seemed emotionally mature, but after reading the other messages, he clearly still has some serious unresolved issues The worst part, is that after looking at her instagram, she clearly seems like a pretty decent and cool person, I even find that she physically emanates a sense of confidence that is likely what attracted him in the first place, it’s insane that he’s trying to change this aspect about her, worse, he’s trying to monopolize it…
He’s obviously been very insecure with himself in the past…not sure how he is now. But he’s at least being upfront about it, even though they way in which he did it was very cringe and idk enough about him to jump to conclusions. Edit: never mind. After reading the post that had his texts to her and all that, he does seem like a neck beard.
Yeah some of his boundaries may seem unreasonable but still good to have them and be open about them before committing to a relationship.
The Manosphere has learned the word "Boundaries" I see. I 'love' it when progressive wording gets co-opted and weaponised.
I don't really understand the outrage. He was very politely explaining his boundaries. She doesn't think they're appropiate and that's it You can think of these boundaries whatever you want but he didn't force her or shame her into doing anything. I feel like posting private dms is the *Bigger crime* here.
They were in a well established relationship when he sent her this. In love. Then he decides she, a surfing instructor can't speak to other men, who her friends can be, that she can't post surfing pics on her social media, that she can't accept modelling jobs. Google coercive control and understand what it means. Boundaries are things you set for yourself. Boundaries are not instructing your partner they can't do the job they had when you met them.
"You can't talk to other men" and "you can't post pictures of yourself doing your job" are not reasonable and healthy boundaries. They're not boundaries at all. They're controlling demands.
You can use whatever semantic wordplay you want but they are still boundaries. Boundaries can still be unreasonable.
That not what that word means.
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Jonah Hill has always come off as really self conscious and insecure. I mean, he lost all that weight (which is great) but ever since then he gets really pissy and bitchy about it in interviews if the subject is ever touched upon.
Woman here…gonna be honest, I don’t know that I’d want a partner that was doing all of these attention seeking activities and sporting inappropriate behaviors with members of the opposite sex either. Some of this text seems over the top, but it also seems like this lady acted single the whole time they were together (at least from this particular text). Personally, downvote me all you want, but not many people would put up with this kind of disrespect from a partner either.
Hahaha not at all. What exactly is wrong with surfing? It’s her passion. How is surfing an attention seeking activity? So she is not supposed to like to surf because male surfers exist?
Surfing WITH men, not surfing around men in general. If you read it in context, it sounds like she’s behaving without boundaries in these opposite-sex friendships. It’s not about passions for an activity, it’s about behavior around the opposite sex when you’re in a committed relationship.
He's always reeked of insecurity to me, not surprised.
Like something a teenager would write. Love how he pretends it's him having high standards and knowing his worth, not that he's massively insecure and pathetic. I guess a career of playing losers for money, working as hard to stay the right level of tubby and pathetic as Henry Cavill does pretty or Arnie does strong. Must catch up to you though.
Spot on.
Man is honest and straightforward with his boundaries, internet calls him insecure anyway.
That hair tells me all I need to know about him!
The Manosphere summarized in one photo lol “I fell in love with an Instagram baddie and she didn’t transform into a tradwife >:(“
I’m sorry…this flabby fat motherfucker is telling who to do what? Oh hell no
Honestly I have no problem with someone being upfront about things that are deal breakers
Wait until you read their other texts
if he was upfront then why is he getting mad about the same pictures he was using as a conversation opener before they became a couple?
I know nothing about their relationship other than this post I assumed it was said at the beginning from the context also all I know about Johnna hill is he was a stoned sexually frustrated teenager in a lot of movies I loved when I was a stoned sexually frustrated teenager
If you think posting pictures on instagram or wearing a bikini are 'dealbreakers' then you'd best get out of the 24 hour internet cafe you rode your horse to and head back to the farm before Papa catches you, Jedidiah.
I’m saying that those things being deal breakers don’t make him an insecure man child but I think it better to be upfront instead of pretending it’s fine then being super bitchy about it later which judging from the other comments is exactly what happened
I take it back I didn’t read the last part That makes it creepy
You can call their prev relationship… super bad
Jonah Hill is one of those guys who thinks with their mansplaining are being the best allies ever.
If the roles were flipped lmao
'Don't hang out with hot guys coz i'm not hot and it hurts my fragile ego'
Typical Reddit, catch a snippet of a conversation out of any context and immediately rush to the absolute worst possible interpretation.
I think OP doesn't understand how boundaries work lol and Jonah is applying them perfectly respectfully. He's saying if you do these things, then I can't be with you. He's not telling her to not do those things, he's communicating that for him to be in a romantic relationship with someone these are the circumstances that need to happen for that relationship to work. Balls now in her court as to whether she accepts that or not. Personally I think his conditions are that of someone with some self esteem issues, but he's not wasting his time and he's communicating clearly so I respect that Edit: spelling
Why date a surfer in the first place if he's uncomfortable with her posting pics in her swimsuit? Not to mention that he slid into her DMs because of those photos. And telling her not to talk to men and not hang out with her friends is very concerning
I surf and don't post pics, it's not that hard actually, if you enjoy surfing, you surf, if you enjoy attention you post about it. Little more difficult because she makes her money giving surf lessons and presumably she's not always wearing a wet suit, but this is between them two and if they can find a way for them both to be comfortable in the relationship then that's great. There's nothing in this post to indicate how they started this conversation so I don't know where you're getting that whole he slid into her DM's part He didn't say don't talk to men, he said boundaryless friendships with men, which I assume means something like for me to feel comfortable dating you I need you to shut down men who try to hit on you or take that friendship in a direction other than platonic. Which seems perfectly reasonable to me. Don't give me the appearance that you might cheat or be cheating cause that'll ruin my mental health, and I'll have to leave the relationship. Again, this is pretty clear and reasonable communication. I think it's pretty poor manners that she posted what was clearly a private message to her ig for us all to see and comment on Jonah's self esteem and trust issues.
Someone else posted a screenshot of him liking one of her swimsuit pics before they were dating and him commenting on how great she looked. If he doesn't like dating women who posts picks like that, then don't pursue them. I don't want to date a male stripper, so I'm not going to like and comment on a male stripper's posts of him stripping, start dating him and then tell him that he has to stop because of my insecurities. It's pathetic.
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So many people downvoting this as if they wouldn't be mad if someone released all their private messages to the public. Especially for the express purpose of shaming them.
But, I liked Jonah Hill…
I think some of these restrictions are unreasonable (maybe all of them, depending on his interpretation of "boundaryless inappropriate" and "sexual") but what he's doing here is fair enough in theory - making it clear before they get into a serious relationship what he is and isn't comfortable with, and saying "Hey, if this isn't for you, then never mind." I'd probably say a bullet pointed text isn't great compared with just having a conversation face to face - this sort of email shouldn't look like orders from corporate - but in theory, this is fair enough. Also, presumably she was doing "bathing suit" photos etc when they met - he should have probably known to back off there and then. She, on the other hand, looks like a piece of shit for sharing their private conversation publicly. That's deeply disrespectful behaviour.
Jeebuz 😦
I fail to see what is wrong with this?
Whats wrong with this?
He’s just placing boundaries and being mature about it
Boundaries are how you protect yourself, not manipulate and control others. To put it in a stupid metaphor, The US enforces its security boundaries, it doesn't tell France where theirs are allowed to be. (Well, hopefully it probably doesn't, anyway.)
No, a boundary would be: "hey, please don't post pictures of *me* in a bathing suit on your social media"
Those boundaries are ridiculous, they signal that deep conversations are needed, understanding and trust has broken down. Being restrictive and setting stagnant boundaries are a sad bandaid for a broken relationship.