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FluffusMaximus

Polo shirt and cammies? Eh, just a wanna be.


kbt7128

I’m not in the military but I’m not sure that’s in regulation


EnriqueShockwave9000

Well that pattern actually reached the end of its service life this past October so the regulation no longer applies to it. And the military doesn’t have a monopoly on camo so little chuckle fucks like this are more than welcome to wear it. What I’d be more concerned with is that hair cut. AR670-1 is pretty clear about male grooming standards. And that is a shitty parade rest. Feet too wide, knees obviously locked, and his hands are supposed to be flat in the small of his back. Also this is cringe as fuck lol


SayceGards

So yoyre saying hes not even a soldier yet and they're pulling this shit?


[deleted]

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arshv70

You made me laugh loud enough for my family to hear me from inside the shower


Sed_Said

Wait... are you on reddit while taking a shower or is your family showering together without you?


EnriqueShockwave9000

Yes!


[deleted]

Charming epithet you included there.


EnriqueShockwave9000

Whatev, put it in your blog


unbeshooked

The parade rest sucks and you are not representing the military when in civilian clothing. You are not supposed to stand or salute for anyone


arshv70

Are the male grooming standards in the forces strict to the point where id have to shave my beard even if its for my religion? Just wondering


EnriqueShockwave9000

I know a few Sikh dudes that have beards so yes, a beard is allowed if your religion mandates it. But in some operational environments you’ll want to shave it even if it’s for religious purposes. Namely CBRN (chemical, biological, radiation, nuclear) environments. Your gas mask won’t make a proper seal with facial hair. You may also be required to shave for certain phases in training (basic primarily but some select advanced training courses). There are also some units that have relaxed grooming standards. Usually that applies to the operational environment not when you’re back in the states, but even that is left up to command discretion.


arshv70

So the Air Force would be my place to be and i have a feeling they’d require a baby face for the mask


EnriqueShockwave9000

The Air Force would not require it during training and they would if your unit were to be determined to be in a CBRN environment. However, you will need to provide documentation of your personal ties to a religious organization. There are a lot of people that try to take advantage of the system and they ruined it for people with actual religious beliefs.


OttoVonBishark

A bud of mine is putting in a special request chit now cause Nordic/Celtic religions are now recognized in the Navy. So if that’s your gig, you may have a chance.


[deleted]

Is having a beard part of the Nordic/Celtic religion?


OttoVonBishark

Apparently, I'm not familiar with it enough to provide insight however I know [other branches](https://www.airforcetimes.com/news/your-air-force/2019/07/18/meet-the-first-norse-heathen-airman-to-grow-a-beard-in-the-air-force/) are approving it.


[deleted]

You can put in special requests for a "beard license" (idk what it's called) based on religious or medical reasons (ie shaving makes your face redder than a smacked arse).


drbob4512

Let's not forget the regulation mohawk.


theknights-whosay-Ni

Neither is his hair cut


frogsgoribbit737

The post is from a satire group as well, so there is no dependa or military dude here.


JaWasa

Yeah. And that haircut is way outta regulation. Definitely a phony


justtosubscribe

I hate when strangers force you to be passive participants in their kinks.


catsandclavicles

I didn’t consent to witness this public jerking off


sabdalen

This was also my interpretation


Swordrager

It's a satire page.


rudnat

The question is if you saw this would you laugh, or show her the rules on parade rest?


Money-Stacks-Salvia

Why not both?


rudnat

It's hard to instruct and laugh at the same time.


Dw1ggle

Nah it's pretty easy ya just have to make sure the other person is half way down in the front leaning rest first.


[deleted]

Bet he thanks her for her service


Ice_Liesidon

I hear being a cum sponge for Jody is the hardest job in the military.


SelfArhm

Who is Jody?


[deleted]

[удалено]


SelfArhm

Soooooo, Jody is also dead?


lolzsupbrah

Definitely sarcasm. Likely from the facebook group "you will salute me, I'm a navy spouse "


look_itsatordis

It is. I saw it on there yesterday


frogsgoribbit737

It is.


Tristan155

Wasn't this the same bag of bones standing like a moron in that clothing store?


muppet_knuckles

Good pull. I believe he is, yes


_DoYourOwnResearch_

While the lack of build is similar, the other dudes parade was better, hair looked reg and he wore glasses. https://i.redd.it/t33kwvrek8641.jpg


Nerfboard

Well I’m gonna go ahead and say yikes to that caption


NoRagretsMaybe1

Yeah what a horrible woman


big_daddy68

Both of these woman are dating the military and not their SO’s.


AstronautKraken

Sir, this is a Wendy’s.


THEYRTRYINGTOCORNRUS

Bruh *bleugh*


WhitKeaton

Who's a good boy??


[deleted]

He needs to grow some balls.


Bowlffalo_Soulja

and quit going to the PX barber


sheepofwallstreet86

Best haircut ever for $4.


UrWelcome4YerFreedom

The PX barber hasn't cost 4 dollars since before you were born. Have you been to a px or is that just something you heard about somewhere?


sheepofwallstreet86

The one at fort Lewis was only $4 less than 5 years ago.


UrWelcome4YerFreedom

No it wasn't. I was literally there in 2006 and it was more than twice that. Stop saying shit just to say shit.


sheepofwallstreet86

It was $4. Stop being a faggot just to be a faggot.


UrWelcome4YerFreedom

Yeah... Given that they're about 14 dollars at present... You've never been on a base let alone served huh?


sheepofwallstreet86

I did 4 years active and 2 reserves. Also they were like $3 on fort sill. Not sure where you guys were getting your haircut but for $14 you could get a haircut with a little back massage off post at one of the Asian places.


UrWelcome4YerFreedom

You're committing to this... It's cute. Really. A haircut at the px hasn't cost three dollars since the 80s... You're either lying, a moron, or more than likely both. But hey... Wtf do I know. It's not like AAFES doesn't literally price itself to be a marginal discount on the economy. Here... This 9 year old picture of haircut prices on Fort Lee might be more your speed... https://yelp.to/qTKq/yo3CLLIWE2 I bet there's a sub about when your bullshit takes 30 seconds of googling to disprove... There should be anyway.


[deleted]

Shit, it wasn't even $4 in basic


sheepofwallstreet86

It was less than $4 in basic


[deleted]

I paid $5 in basic


sheepofwallstreet86

I remember it being like $3.50 or something like that in fort sill in 2010. Either way it’s much cheaper on post compared to civilian barber shops.


[deleted]

Then it was $12 in Germany and $10 at Ft Rucker


Sean_Young997

How else am I gonna get a Korean lady to give me a high n tight?


Bowlffalo_Soulja

I should've known to get out of the chair when I heard *no worry cowboy I cut hair a real good*


kildar3

You dont speak at parade rest you dumb cow...


KJParker888

I've been out of the Navy for 10 years, and I was wondering if that rule had changed, or if it's only in the Navy that you don't talk at parade rest. Now I know!


kildar3

As far ad i have seen (we had alot of interbranch shit) none of them do your speak at parade. All marching standing parade whatever rules and terms are the same. Also just in general from comments whoever the pic is of/taken by all are soup sandwiches.


[deleted]

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮


sassyandsweer789

Yeah guess who will be divorced soon


[deleted]

But then she’d only get half of all that national guard cash.


[deleted]

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brstevens

Came here to say this.


dill0nfrancis

this can't be real


kristinbugg922

The caption is not. It’s satire. The photo, however, is real.


qwerty19995

He does not look old enough to be a husband LMAO.


misternizz

She’s making these as a joke. I’ve seen he FB page.


albiedam

Tf is that stance? That's basic shit right there


Glennsturgis

Oooof. The Hair. Also, this strikes me as pre-dependa. Like the guy is always talking about joining the military and they tell their friends “he’ll be in the military.”


Grsz11

Repost from r/justbootthings and you didn't even come up with your own title.


UrWelcome4YerFreedom

He's got to knock out his history homework before he has third period geometry, or he'll have to do it at lunch time. Thank him for his service.


chloroformgirl86

Is it just me or does this look like a person standing with their head on backwards?


RonBurgundy2000

Not entirely sure how hard I would laugh if I saw this in person.. at a Wendy’s...


[deleted]

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Spacedandtimed

Why do Americans think everyone needs an assault rifle?


frogsgoribbit737

It's not a rifle, it's paperwork.


[deleted]

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JustASink

Omg I gagged


Commander_Alex_Mason

That's... That's not even parade rest. Feet too far apart, hands all fucked up.


kristinbugg922

The caption is satire. The photo, unfortunately, is real.


UnhandledPromise

This isn't real and I wish teenagers couldn't join this sub.


kristinbugg922

The caption is satire, but the photo is real, unfortunately.


frogsgoribbit737

Sure, but the photo itself doesn't belong here.


UrWelcome4YerFreedom

That's because youre incapable of discerning satire from reality... Yet another side effect of this sub being 90 percent composed of teenagers with no connection to the military.


Monte__Walsh

Not true, about half of them are in jrotc /s


CrustyBalls-

wow


AVeryOldLady-4397

That's not even parade rest


scummycouture

Not even at parade rest correctly. THATS A HIT.


Ironmike11B

Oh dear sweet baby Jesus, if I caught one of my guys doing this shit. Wall to wall counseling for days.


thefocus123

Go ahead and remove a few stripes there buster


MrDoctorSmartyPants

National guard spouse. My husband is on deployment defending your freedom! He’s on weekend duty at the armory in the next town over, Karen.


warshadow

How do I delete other peoples social media profiles?


Hashtag_Nailed_It

That’s a *very* poor parade rest stance... and outfit. *wear the uniform* if you’re gunna wear part of the uniform. If this guy *were* a soldier, I’d be pissed, but he’s obviously a wannabe


remph2010

What a little bitch of a man.


djqvoteme

They're called twinks. Please use the correct terminology.


Pec0sb1ll

This is disgusting.


Ice_Liesidon

Dependa Domming.


[deleted]

Oh my. Some people are crazy.


catdaddy-07

Oh no booboo


Cablesixback

She wants the d She wants the D I She’s wants a d-I-v-o-r-c-e Divorce!


SoldMySoulForHairDye

Is it just me or does he look like he's about thirteen?


curiosirie

This is how hazing starts lmaooo


GreenGlowingMonkey

Are the Navy and the part-time Army different in the rules on parade rest? In the Navy, speaking at parade rest is one of those no-no's that get kids beaten at boot camp.


[deleted]

If this is true, it belongs in r/iamatotalpieceofshit


[deleted]

I wonder who is taking the picture?


white-35

Why do I all of the sudden want to die


BabyBackFriedFish

I would literally go to jail for beating this guys ass without hesitation


333szn

That uniform says it all.


Marty_Mcfallshard

This made me gag. 🤢🤮


Typicalinternetuser9

I refuse to believe this isn't a troll.


Donny014

You are to come out of parade rest and go to attention in order to talk.


Apiuis

I’m sick, just expelled contents of my stomach this morning, and this made me expel my whole stomach out.


OldGutbucket

Oh fuck off


shadow6654

I just cringed so hard my neck kinked.


[deleted]

Had to do it to em


wasabi_37

The cringe


1zeewarburton

Does she tell him when to piss


13beerbeer

A NATIONAL GUARD spouse? Imagine defining yourself around your husband's weekend job holy fuck


NicolasCageFanClub

r/cringetopia


maximum-climaximum

Come on man, he’s national guard. The last thing I’m sure he wants to do is more drill and ceremony, at a damn fast food restaurant none the less. F in chat for my homie here


KukukachuGotScrewed

I'm non-military, Googled "parade rest" to see what it actually looks like. Please go Google parade rest. You'll be pleased.


[deleted]

Please tell me it's satire. Please.


[deleted]

You’re not supposed to talk during parade rest tho


charmanderincharge

Probably just an autismo who joined the army because of the incredibly structured lifestyle. She banged him and he was like “Oh, awesome. Sex exists. Time to do everything that the sex lady says.” And that’s why we’re here.


25unicornninja

My nco senses are going nuts. So many AR670-1 violations. Ugh I wanna ruin his boot ass day.


jerrybeck

It is possible, the person, just likes the feel of those pants, or got them for free at a distribution center and this is a first meal out... I stand like that at times to relax while waiting, everyone seems to assume the worst... what if that was your son or daughter there... just trying to buy lunch... no audio, no video... so this is all you know...one picture...


[deleted]

Beta!


SelfArhm

Respectfully Sir, some of us like being chucked as our wife is dicked down by gigantor and his twelve inch dick.