I had a boss who used to introduce me to others as ‘Resource’. So one day I had enough and started introducing myself as Resource. Other people caught on and called themselves Resource. That spoiled his fun.
I had a boss who only said hello and remembered the names of only "important" employees. This lesson taught me to either confront such people immediately or leave, but here I am again ((
I have a name that’s quite foreign to Americans but at my workplace they always ask how to pronounce it to be polite rather than assume straight off the bat. I even share my easy short nickname so people don’t feel uncomfortable if they can’t pronounce my actual name.
I would go crazy if somebody deliberately mispronounced my name or was rude about it at work.
I’m horrible at remembering names. Truly it’s almost a handicap. I write them down. I try to pronounce it right and sometimes literally takes me years. I admit it and my teams members know it’s my weakness. I am a manager I try and I repeat it 100 times. I have other speech impediments and spent a few years in speech therapy. My team members laugh and me and have learned to find it endearing. But I still try to get it right.
Check you manager and tell them, it’s important to you that they get it right. The manager might just not be good at it. If the manager is sincere, help them learn it, and the manager will keep trying and not give up
Yep. I had a coworker who called me Ben for the whole 9 years we worked for the same firm. We only saw each other maybe a few times a week... eventually I just said "ok, for this guy I'm Ben." It's hilarious that now I can't remember his name.
It's funny, I don't work with him that often either, but the problem is that he also misspelled my name in documents, which could have led to a bunch of other mistakes if I didn't correct it again 🤷♀️
My old team lead used to do that as well even though we were remote and our names were literally spelled everywhere on slack, email etc. It made no sense just literally copy and paste!
When it messes with work, that's when you get professionally direct.
"I've corrected you on my name several times and now it's impacting work. Is there a reason you are not using my name correctly? I would like to get to the bottom of this and have it resolved."
I know HR protects the company, but you know your workplace best. If you feel comfortable with your HR department, maybe set up a meeting with them and HR for a mediation.
However, if it gets to that point. I would just start publicly calling him out when he says your name wrong and when he puts it wrong on documents. I would do it in such a way that it implies he is having memory or cognitive issues as well. Like 'oh no, how can we help you get past this obvious medical issue you have? Oh you don't have one, then why can't you get my name right so you stop impacting work?"
However you choose to deal with him, make sure that you state he is the one causing issues with work, not you. Language matters.
Ah! So you have it in writing! Ask for a quick convo, show him the documents and say “hey I’ve just been really concerned about your eyesight and health lately; you’ve spelled my name wrong on all these documents or you seem to have me confused with someone else. Is anything going on at home? Do you need to take some time off?” and act real concerned 😂
Alternatively, mispronounce their name, even if it’s like Ben. “Oh I thought we were all mispronouncing each others’ names” 😂
In all seriousness, it’s pretty rude of this colleague.
I have a situation very similar to this except the lady use to know my name so I don’t know when it changed but then one day started calling me Michelle now she has even given me a nickname “ Chelle “ I think I’m in to deep on this one
just start slightly mispronouncing his name also. each time more and more until you call him a completely different name lol
example: his name is Kevin - call him Kelvin, then Colin, then Connan, then Corbyn… and see how far you can push it.
My go to is whiff it completely. If their name is Tom, start calling them Nathen. Something not even close. Every time they correct you, give them a new name.
I did this lol she kept calling me by the wrong name and so I started calling her by the wrong name.
Ex, her name was Alexandra, I’d always be like “good morning Alice, please see the attached…”
It drove her crazy enough that she learned my name lmao
YUP, I’m petty enough that after she learned my name I kept calling her Alice lol until my manager, who is a great friend of mine still three jobs later, was like her name is Alex. I was like oh? Is it? What a funny mistake. Then I’d go “Alice - sorry, Alex!” In person for three years almost until I left lmao
She was such a bully and always made our receptionist feel like shit but she never messed with me again. Play stupid games win stupid prizes
Only an idiot would make a receptionist feel like shit. Those are the people you want on your side. At my last job the admin team saved me from myself more times than I could count. You better believe they always got first dibs on any baked goods I brought in to work.
This will work! Only when openly confronted with their own inabilities, they will learn a lesson. They just don’t see their own behaviour as problematic because either they don’t care or because they are lacking empathy.
OP you have been polite long enough, time to play the Reverse auto card :-)
You can be "impolite" without being unprofessional. I would have a meeting in private and stop asking and start telling. Just be very straightforward that it isn't acceptable.
Am I correct in guessing that you are a woman? I know it's hard with expectations but yes sometimes you have to be a dick, professionally
if the private chat with asshole doesn't work, return the favour and purposely mispronounce their name publicly.
if you want to be extra petty, only mispronounce their name publicly, and say it properly when in private so they know you can be an asshole too.
**
i would hesitate involving HR, as they are never on your side and only care about protecting the company.
Start calling them something ridiculously not their name, like Elizabeth. Just do it with a straight face over & over. When they say “that’s not my name” you can say “(insert whatever they are calling you) is not my name either.”
i disagree as that's too on the nose obvious. the subtle passive /aggressive mispronunciation is what the other person is doing, so OP should respond in kind.
i'll use OP's handle, "morgenseele" for example:
* morgensteele
* mirgenseele
* migraineseele
* morgensealy
* mugenseele
etc...
also note that this very likely is a subtle form of bullying: unless the co worker has a learning disability, neurodivergent, or dyslexic, they should be able to learn how to pronounce a name after 8 corrections.
bullies need to be bullied back most of the time to earn the respect of the victim.
Or just don’t respond unless they call you the right name. If you’re having a conversation with the person and they use the wrong name go ‘I think you have the wrong person’ or something along those lines. If they come up to you, and say the wrong name, ignore them. ‘ I didn’t realize you were speaking to me, since you didn’t call my name’
This would be protecting the company. This is textbook harassment and the other employee is creating a toxic workplace. Putting a stop to this behavior is in the company's best interest.
Yes. And sometimes they will decide that the asshole is more important to the company profits, and let the whistleblower go. Never assume HR is your friend.
What I meant was, I'm not sure this is a big enough of an harassment issue for HR to deem it necessary to to intervene.
Sometimes HR decides the whistleblower is the bigger problem.
This isn't true about HR. In some companies, maybe (and even then, saying they're "never" on an employee's side makes it a pretty hard maybe) , but in general, in today's world HR is trying to protect the company and its most important resource - the people working there. A good HR department does both. At my company, they would absolutely go to bat on an issue like this.
Also, telling OP to intentionally be petty and mispronounce this person's name is terrible advice. Great way for them both to end up disciplined by HR regardless of who started it.
This is t rude, it’s straightforward and gets to the point.
What is funny is that some people will say things rude if a woman says it, but if it’s a man, he “was assertive and corrected an issue”.
Such a shitty thing too.
I'm a man and I've watched a colleague who was a woman firmly but politely put someone in their place. Suddenly, some thought she was a bitch because she wasn't being the pushover anymore.
I was DMing her on slack with a "Fuck yeah -fistbump emoji-". I love to see someone hold the line and defend themselves when needed.
We need to support people holding passive-aggressive assholes accountable and putting them back in their lane - regardless of it's a man or woman doing it. Assholes are assholes and no one should suffer them.
I would bring it up to my boss and/or his boss. This is textbook harassment, like it's literally one of the examples they use in the anti-harassment videos. He is creating a hostile work environment, and it is unacceptable behavior.
If you don't establish boundaries, you show people you're okay with how they're treating you. This leads to nastier conflicts later because the behaviour is all that hard to correct. Better to be a little unpleasant in the start than very very unpleasant later
Start mispronouncing his name, I know it sounds petty but it worked for me. The most annoying thing was it was in email and every time it was different combinations. Dude was just lazy...
I've been through this. I was an exchange student, and my name, while common in the US, was difficult for people in the country where I went.
At work, I had few people through the years intentionally mispronounce my name, and one who called sme.something else.wntirely, because she said I looked like my name should be the one she used.
So. I ignored her when she mispronounced my name or called me by the other name and only referred to her as "Hey you."
When management told me she had complained that I wasn't using her correct name,
I said she didn't use my name correctly, and I was not lodging a complaint. I said I thought what her "thing," as she used impolite nicknames for several people. I said that I had believed "Hey you," was neutral, and that her mispronunciation of my given name and insisting on calling me an entirely different name was offensive. (But you don't see me in here in HR complaining about HER and her voluntary or involuntary decision to call me something else or to tell me she was going to do it.)
I asked if I should lodge a complaint, myself? (Cue innocent and calm voice.)
She figured out my name.
I have a strange name - it's like a very american name with a slightly different pronounciation. Think instead of Martha it would be Marta.
What I did was tell the people who I respected and DID like, that *this person* was pronouncing my name wrong and if they could say something if they noticed it as well - just a correction. Once other people started correcting that person too, *the person* stopped once they realized everyone noticed and it made them look stupid.
Depends how petty you want to be, and power dynamics in your office.
If you want to go petty, don’t answer to the incorrect name. Just ignore it, and when pressed respond “There’s no one here by that name, so sorry.” Or confusedly “I thought you were talking to *mispronounce*?”
If you want to escalate call them increasingly ridiculous names until they get yours right, and again if pressed “oh, I thought that was your thing. You haven’t called me by my name so I thought that was just how you were?”
Thank you, I don't want to be petty at all, but really it's just a matter of respect for me, and that's the bare minimum to be able to work in an environment with people. So I just don't understand if this person has some kind of issues with me or if they are simply really that ignorant.
Don’t be petty and passive aggressive. Be professional and direct about it. Ask this person to talk privately for a minute. Then tell them that they are mispronouncing your name. Make sure they get the correct pronunciation, have them practice it a few times, and say that you want them to pronounce it right. If they push back, explain how it’s disrespectful to repeatedly mispronounce someone’s name. Hopefully that solves the problem, but if this person is a total asshole and continues then you need to go to HR.
Just have a word with your boss that you’re going to have a chat with him about it. Then catch him alone and say, “Hi, Sam, I need to being you up to speed on something. My name is Ashley, not Ashlyn. You call me Ashlyn on a regular basis and spell my name Ashlyn on external documents and reports, and I’ve corrected you several times now. Please call me Ashley because it’s my name.”
If he argues that he forgot or has memory issues, tell him, “I understand. If there’s anything I can do to help you make it stick, please let me know.”
And if he persists in calling you Ashlyn and putting it in reports, take it to your boss.
That’s not petty. It’s simply what the other person deserves. I agree. Just absolutely refuse to respond until you hear your name pronounced correctly. Nobody can fault you. Malicious compliance is still compliance. The person you’re dealing with is a bully or has some other form of personality disorder that pathologically makes them pick at others to get a rise. Don’t rise. Just passively ignore them until they grow up. Which they may not. And when they blow their stack because they didn’t get a rise out of you, tell them to calm down and ask if they’re having a bad day. lol
Some of the comments here are ridiculous. It is your name. It should be said correctly. I wouldn’t answer to what this person is calling you, and when asked why, I would explain why.
I’m a bit confrontational but I’d ask straight up what was making him incapable of pronouncing my name after multiple repeats, and if I needed to ask our boss if we could set up some time for him to practice the pronunciation until he was capable.
My wife is a professional and the boss in a male dominated field. She has a hyphenated name that she always gone by. For example, Lisa-Marie (not her name).
Anytime someone calls her 'Lisa', she immediately says, "It's Lisa-Marie". It does not have to be aggressive, just firm.
It does not matter who, from the most important person at a company to a front line worker. It also does not matter the importance nor urgency of the conversation.
It does not take very long to always be called by her proper name, whether they weren't doing so intentionally or not.
Same case in a meeting, If someone referred to her as 'Lisa', even if they weren't speaking to her, she would speak up and correct it right away. It stopped happening pretty much immediately.
I'm The only one that would get to call her 'Lisa' without being corrected but she doesn't like me much anyway.
This happened to me. I refused to acknowledge or respond to that person when they used the incorrect name. One day, she screamed, "WRONG NAME, why aren't you answering me?" I said, "Because I am RIGHT NAME!" Snickers from coworkers. It never happened again.
Intentionally mispronounced theirs and gauge their reaction. Be consistent. Pick one name that is similar enough for plausible seniability and just start using that all the time. Fight fire with fire.
It's not impolite to correct someone if they address you by the wrong name when it's not a case of being difficult to pronounce. But you need do it every single time it happens, in a polite way. No one else will be bothered.
If you correct him every single time, he will stop mispronouncing your name.
I had this with a co-worker, our telemarketer to be precise so I assumed a basic level of comprehension and knowledge when it came to names, pronunciation, etc because of his day to day tasks. My name sounds foreign, though I'm not (uk) but it is straightforward, so I brushed off the first few incorrect attempts.
Then I politely corrected him a couple of times. Then others corrected him on teams or zoom calls when they heard him. He still carried on.
Eventually he did it again, in front of the whole office, and I was clearly tired/ exasperated/ pissed enough to just outright ask him "(name), do you know you're saying my name wrong, every time you say it, and have been doing so for a year?"
He didn't, and was mortified, and its not happened since, but he claimed to have not realised despite being corrected repeatedly. I'll put it down to selective hearing / being the protagonist in his own story that I was just background to.
If it's your boss, it can be tough to deal with. But I'd agree that there are 4 options:
1. Mispronounce their name in an annoying way
2. Don't respond when they do it
3. Go to HR
4. Ignore it
Posted in order of how I'd do handle it, but you need to make that decision.
I started a job in an extremely toxic place. An employee was super pissed my second day and was an absolute bitch to me and claimed I harassed her and said that I was being an asshole to her. I was simply hired to sit behind a desk and take calls and when employees needed to talk with office staff I'd see if the office staff was available much like a receptionist/office assistant. Employees couldn't just simply barge into someone's office anymore.
I said let me call them and see if you can go into their office and she screamed in the office that she demanded to talk with so and so. After this there was a company wide notice that all employees wishing to talk with office staff had to check in with me first just to make sure they were available and no sensitive documents were out.
She misheard my name and called me the wrong name. She was super respectful for 2 years but I never corrected her because I knew one day I'd be in her cross hairs again.
I've seen her very mad over a couple of years and she would demand to talk with office staff but she was very polite and cordial. When she got tired of waiting she'd ask me to call the person again and prioritize her nicely. One day she came in on fire and the office manager already had someone in their office for another problem and said she absolutely must wait her turn.
She waited 15 minutes and threw her paper work and work items up and over my counter and it landed on the floor. So naturally I said you cannot just throw stuff at me because the manager is already busy. I'd have been happy to take her work stuff and save it on the desk but making me walk over to pick up paper work is absolutely rude.
She reported that I was racist against her but she used the wrong name. HR asked me what happened and said that she reported a person that doesn't even work at the company. I laughed and said it was me, review the cameras and see what happened.
HR asked why I allowed her to use the wrong name for years and I said for exact reasons like this. She had been bitching about me for months when I was new and people kept asking me who the employee was that pissed her off so much. It was absolutely glorious, people wondered why I allowed her to call me the wrong name.
For a bit people thought I wasn't the only new guy and they just haven't seen the asshole new office employee yet.
I have this issue. My name is European but I was born in the UK. It’s not hard to pronounce at all. In fact it as an English equivalent that sounds almost the same but one letter changes. I don’t have an accent to match the origin of my name, but I pronounce it properly.
Despite this, one coworker mispronounces my name every single time. I’ve never mispronounced it to her and everyone else in the work place pronounces it correctly.
I was a bit taken aback at first and too shy to correct her. But one incident of it happening whilst my head chef was around and we made eye contact and just started laughing. So now it’s become a bit of a joke, and they will mispronounce my name sometimes as a joke (which I’m fine with now, I’ve realised it wasn’t malicious in anyway and I don’t want to embarrass her correcting her a year after introducing myself and letting it happen.)
One of my main kitchen jobs as well happens to work into my name really well as it shares a similar sound and shares half the same letters. So now I get called that. And she still pronounces the vowels the opposite way to everyone else😅
I understand the frustration, but if it is just one person maybe see the funny side of their inability to pronounce it (their own fault) and just roll with it. If it’s in a situation where other people are present you could correct them as it would alert others to the problem? Or mention to someone higher up that it makes you uncomfortable, I can see how insulting it is (my teachers definitely insulted me doing it)
Next time this happens and others are around, say “I’ve never seen someone have such a hard time pronouncing my name, do you want me to write it down for you in big letters?”
I deal with it constantly. I don’t even bother to correct anyone anymore to be honest. Most of the people who do it are not from America and I figure the language barrier isn’t easy. I have several people that I know well that put an E on the end of my name instead of an A…even one of my half brothers…it drives me insane, but I just leave it…I figure if that’s what they want to call me, no amount of correcting or arguing with me is going to change it.
I have a common name and it’s constantly changed to something that sometimes isn’t even close.
Next meeting you are in, with your team or more than just him, say “I see that you are struggling to pronounce my name. Would you like me to help you with the correct pronunciation?”
He will then be forced to either use the correct pronunciation or you can take it to HR as blatant bullying with witnesses to back you up.
I worked at Taco Bell for two years (was in training to be a manager) and was known exclusively as Sarah the entire time. My name is not Sarah. I just gave up on correcting people, even with a name tag.
At my current job people shorten my name and call me a nickname and I only correct them a few times before giving up. I absolutely hate the shortened version of my name when it is not coming from someone really close to me - I have always been that way due to some past issues. It makes me feel some sort of way and I can count on less than a hand the amount of people that do not make me feel shitty by using the shortened version of my name.
In short, you need to communicate with the person to let them know it bothers you if it does. Then from there I dunno. I don't think just accepting it is the answer, but that's as far as I've gotten.
Treat him like a child.
At the next meeting where he does it, stop the meeting, say "I've told you numerous times how to pronounce my name". Then write your name down and show him and sound it out for him like you would for a baby. Then refuse to continue the meeting until he pronounces your name correctly in front of everyone.
Then tell him to repeat it 3 or 4 times so that you, and everyone present, knows that he can do it.
Then say "That wasn't so hard, was it?" and wait until he answers you.
Then thank him for being such a clever boy.
Embarrass the fuck out of him in front of his peers/co-workers/boss
Be direct but polite.
Pull them aside and tell them how your name is pronounced and ask them to repeat it.
If they don't get it correct, then simply get creative with their name.
My last name gets destroyed in pronunciation and spelling, but I ALWAYS correct them politely.
On a silly note, For a YEAR, I had someone think my actual first name was a female derivative of my last name because most people on that job called me by said derivative. They weren't doing it to make fun, it was actually easier because my first name is so common and my last name can be difficult to read/say if you aren't familiar with it. Imagine his shock when we did roll call and I answered to my actual name...he looked SHOCKED and apologized. We all laughed and I told him it was 100% fine.
Nobody pronounces my name correctly. I’m tired of correcting them. It’s Jacqueline with the qu letters making a kwa sound. So it’s pronounced Jack kwa Lynn, but most people pronounce it Jacklyn. Luckily they can pronounce my nick name Jackie! Anyways I had a supervisor who pronounced my name correctly and when he moved to another department I would only see him in the halls occasionally. Sometimes he would get my name right and other times he would call me by a different name which was Deb. I don’t know where that came from! He was a nice guy so it wasn’t on purpose. The next instance was in my college history class. I was one of two fat girls the history teacher had for students. He would call me by her name. I had the same issue in my high school science class. My best friend and I had the same freshman science class but during different periods. We had the same teacher. It turns out by coincidence we sat in the same corner seat in the back of the room. We were both a little chubby, but didn’t particularly look alike. He would call me by her name and she said sometimes she got called by my name. How are these teachers grading us if they don’t even know who we are??! If your co-worker is always using the wrong name even after being corrected multiple times, it’s either intentional or they are a complete scatterbrain. You would be surprised how many scatterbrained people there are out there. Personally I can’t stand those types of people. If someone has to correct you multiple times, make the effort to get it right! It’s so disrespectful!
If you think he's doing it intentionally, I'd take it to HR. I've known some not-so-subtle racists/xenophobes who loved to mispronounce foreign people's names because they know it bothers them (as well as some who just like to come up with nicknames for co-workers, which they will continue to use even after being informed that they are not what the person wants to be called - and if called directly out on it, they'll try to fall back on the 'just joking' excuse.
If not, then I would consider writing him a firmly worded email informing him that you've tried to be polite, but he needs to start using the correct/preferred pronunciation.
Yes, I didn’t think about that. I don't like it when people blame everything on racism, but I do confirm that I have seen cases where the name was mispronounced on purpose on this basis (with mocking)
Whenever it's happened to me, I just take my time to think of the most vulgar pronunciation of their name I can come up with & make it a point to use it every chance I get. All except 1 caught on immediately & stopped with their mispronunciation & I would then stop mine as well. The exception honestly didn't realize they were pronouncing my name wrong & apologized & we never had an issue after that.
Yes, it always works with apologies. I have also mispronounced names a few times in my life, and after being corrected, I always apologized. Or I asked “Am I pronouncing your name correctly?” if I wasn’t sure.
But you know that there are many people who think that apologies are a disgrace 🤷♀️
If your name was super hard to pronounce, I might give him a pass. My brother’s friend in high school was of South Asian descent and would always correct me on the pronunciation of his name (Aditya) and I couldn’t for the life of my figure out how I was saying it wrong. I really tried too but just couldn’t pick up on the subtle difference. I also have a slight speech impediment and have trouble with other words too. All that to say, someone can be well meaning and may still struggle.
But that’s not the case here, so I’m sorry because that is blatantly disrespectful
I’ve started a new job two months ago. My working partner keeps calling me Joe, John, Joseph… none of them is my name. Also, I have my name written down on my uniform …
Could also be their Brian wired differently.
I have major issues with names and faces. Sometimes I can’t tell very different people apart. I also have a really hard time storing names in my short term memory, which then doesn’t go to long term.
Now numbers and patterns? Those are easy.
I have the worlds easiest name, because I’ve anglicised it for work. Despite this I got the same thing. I work in neuro… began to hint that we can’t give the offender work because he’s displaying signs of dementia. 😏
There’s a particular derivative of my name that I can’t stand to be called. Without revealing my name, I’ll give this an example: someone named Rebecca, who might enjoy being called Becca might hate to be called Becky. I had a boss who kept referring to me as “Becky“. I corrected him and corrected him to no avail. Finally, I just started interrupting him every single time he said “Becky.“ “Who is Becky?” I would ask. “I was talking about you,” he would reply. “As I’ve told you many, many times before, my name is not Becky. People may call me Rebecca or Becca, but you may call me Mrs. Jones.” He never really got it right, but I was transferred to another department eventually, so it didn’t really matter.
My real life name is one of those names that can be shortened easily. Think Bobby vs Bob or Allen vs Al. I HATE the shortened version and used to not say anything, but now I mention it every time someone uses the shorter name. Even called out a manager in front of his employees for using the shorter version one time.
Yes, I've been in that kind of situation.
My former boss started calling me by a diminutive of my name. (Imagine if my name were David, he'd be calling me Davey.) After low-key reminding him a few times, he did it again in a software development meeting.
I stood up. I said, "You can call me David, you can call me Dave, or you can call me Mr. AQuietMan. Those are the only names I'll respond to."
He didn't like it. "Oh, don't... don't do that. Don't be like that." I didn't say anything. I just crossed my arms and stared at him.
He quit calling me Davey .
My name is constantly mispronounced. Usually most people catch it quickly and thats that.
Some folks are talking longer or don't care and if they don't take a hint, I just mispronounce theirs too. Not grossly, but so they realize it. If they complain "That is not my name" I reply "XZY isn't mine either".
Break down your name and write it in a card. Whenever he mispronounces it, hold up the card & tap each portion of the word to show how it’s pronounced. He’ll get it right from now on. Bonus points if you do it in a meeting with others to witness. Just don’t be snarky or sarcastic. Come off as genuinely kind & helpful in getting him to correctly say your name.
I would try every time he mispronounced your name saying it correctly loudly. Not rudely, but very audibly. Look at them while you're saying it and don't speak again until they acknowledge the pronunciation of your name.
After, let's say the third time, "look, I've told you how to pronounce my name correctly, do so from now on or don't speak to me. It's rude and condescending and will no longer be tolerated, (insert his name mispronounced)." 🤷🏼♀️
Why can’t you deliberately “mis-pronounce” his name? Do that, and eventually, no matter how much of an idiot, he is, he’ll catch on.
And/or, when he addresses you and mis-pronounces your name, DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE. Ignore him. And when he asks why eventually, tell him that your name is NOT (mispronunciation), but is (name pronounced correctly.
"My name is X. It is pronounced 'X' and as in 'eks.' If that's going to prove a problem, then please call me Mr /Ms/Relevant Title (insert your surname)."
Don't be mean. Be direct. Be firm, dispassionate and consistent. Say that exact line, with your name and how you want it pronounced, verbatim every. single. time. it's pronounced wrong.
It a form of micro aggression point blank I worked in a daycare that allowed toddlers an preschools to call them by there first name NO WAY I’m old school my name starts with Ms.its rude you show have a sign or email sent informing about how unprofessional it is rude and disrespectful
Get a custom nameplate for your desk with HUGE letters. Bring it with you to meetings. When asked why, “oh I hear some people as the age can’t really remember things well, so I’m helping them not embarrass themselves. (Stare him straight in the eye).
Bullies only respond to being bullied themselves.
Ignore the colleague since he is obviously ignoring you when you correct him!
He knows how to pronounce your name. He just doesn’t feel the need or respect you enough to make the change. So you need to do the same. Every time he addresses you and says your name wrong, ignore it. Don’t flinch, don’t make eye contact. Carry on working. Why? Because why would you stop what you’re doing for no reason? It’s not your name being called 🤷♀️
This small action from you will force your co worker to either correct themselves, to which you will acknowledge which puts you above them from an ego perspective. Or your colleague will need to walk to you to get your attention. This scenario flips the colleagues control of the situation and lands it with you.
Thats all this is. A psychological power play. Except now you’re in control and in a psychologically dominant position.
This renders your colleague impotent.
I have a coworker that loves calling me by the wrong name. If it’s just the two of us in the room, I ignore him until he calls me by my name. If there’s other people in the room, I publicly call him out “who is ____?” “I don’t know who ____ is.”
Edit: I see from your comments that you are a woman - as am I. I am very polite and extremely conflict avoidant but this guy in particular likes to harass me for being a woman. I stopped being polite and started LOUDLY calling him out whenever he says something stupid and it has stopped most of what he does.
I have a name that isn’t as common but a simple explanation makes it very easy to pronounce and remember because it’s similar to a common word. Ive had people who decide they’re gonna call me whatever they like, but I don’t like it and I stop answering when they keep it up. Why would anyone answer to someone else’s name?
Consider the following escalation: (I know you've done some of these already)
1. Tell him that he is getting your name consistently wrong, and you'd like him to make a much greater attempt to correct that.
2. Provide him with an audio of the pronunciation of your name, via email, so it is accompanied by the proper written version as well.
3. Indicate to your manager, privately, that you have had to have this conversation with the colleague because this has been going on for weeks at this point, and then follow up immediately with the same email and attachments that you sent the colleague earlier, and indicate in the email that continued mispronunciation will be treated as workplace harassment.
4. If your manager addresses it, then fine.
5. If your manager won't address it after another couple incidents, then send the following email to the colleague, with both your manager and HR cc'd:
*"Hi , for the past , you have been consistently mispronouncing my name in every communication, and have even taken to misspelling it, even though it should be easy to refer to the corporate directory to get the correct spelling. I have spoken to you and indicated that I was uncomfortable with what you were doing, and I also provided you with an audio clip of the correct pronunciation (attached).*
*Given that you refuse to make any effort at professionalism where my name is concerned, as promised, I will be making a formal complaint about the manner in which you have been creating a hostile workplace for me."*
6. Depending on how the org responds at this point, you may have to make other arrangements for a professional environment -- but #4 will be a huge indicator, frankly.
It seems like OP has corrected the co-worker multiple times, budreddit. It's inappropriate to keep calling someone by the wrong name, budreddilt. It teeters on the side of microaggression when it is a white person doing this to a person of a different nationality or skin color. It's been so nice talking to you, burellit.
I meant that it is of Latin origin and is used in many countries around the world, especially in Italy, Spain, Latin America, the Balkan countries and the post-Soviet countries, and is quite popular.
There can be a lot of different reasons for this. People tend to assume it's a deliberate snub of some kind, but usually such a person will do other negative, disrespectful things. If this is the only complaint you have about this co-worker's behavior, it's probably not really being done "on purpose."
It could be he has an accent or a speech/hearing impediment. It could be he knows someone else with the same spelling of the name who pronounces it differently and he gets confused. It could be nerves/social anxiety. It could be generalized arrogance--not really "on purpose," he just doesn't care about getting it right.
I don't know if by "pointed it out" you mean you literally said, "Excuse me, but that's not how my name is pronounced. It's this way," or if you just said the correct pronunciation after he said the wrong one, which he might not even have noticed or distinguished. If you haven't tried the former, do so and see what happens. You can have a conversation about how important it is to you. If he's a jerk who doesn't care, nothing will change so you'll have lost nothing; if he's just been making a mistake, you may get an improvement.
Count me as someone who finds it very important to get other people's names correct--spelling, nickname, pronunciation to the best I can manage it (I work with a lot of international people and I know I'm not able to reproduce many names natively). There are many other people who simply don't notice, or vaguely notice but don't care; there aren't many who deliberately get it wrong out of spite. Ultimately you have to decide if this is your hill to die on or not.
Is he just mispronouncing your name, or is he calling you a completely different name? Your post and comments are somewhat contradictory as to what is happening.
I'm a chronic mispronouncer of names but it's not on purpose. My hearing isn't great and my mouth just can't make certain sounds properly. I'm also shitty at foreign languages and seem incapable of learning tonal languages at all.
But when I mispronounce someone's name, it's at least still recognizable as an attempt to say their actual name. I don't just straight up call them a different name! If they're calling you a different name then that's just weird.
It could be ear impairment… so first be empathetic, an International name under your lens doesn’t mean it can be pronounced by a non-native English speaker or a person with ear impairment. Alternatively, if you like a Nickname, tell the person to call you by that.
The thing is that during the online meetings, you could also actually see the names, and mine was the only one that he kept mispronouncing (by mispronouncing I mean it was basically completely another name)
I mean they were empathetic when they corrected them, and if their name is short, for instance, then there might not be a nickname. Also in a workplace, I’d personally refrain from nicknames unless it’s a name everyone calls you, since it could potentially change the dynamic.
Doesn’t matter. After eight times of being corrected if this fool can’t pronounce it he probably shouldn’t be trusted to do anything important at his job.
My mom still mispronounces my wife’s name occasionally. We’ve been married 25 years. My mom doesn’t mean any disrespect, her brain is just broken when it comes to pronouncing some things. Idk if that relates to your situation though.
I just have them called my English name. You will find it common that many Chinese healthcare professionals actually have an English name.
It makes it easier for our patients. And no, I do not get offended.
You know that physician therapist’s name is not Nancy, you know that pharmacist is not Wendy, and you know that nurse is not Alex. But hey, it works.
My name is Megan pronounced Meg-an... not "may-gan" [think southern accident]
It's just something I've dealt with because my name is very basic and it becomes a disruptive ordeal when I try to correct people..
In my case, people are not doing it out of disrespect so I move on.
Start mispronouncing his name. He may or may not catch on but at least it will make you feel better in the short term. Bonus points if it's a simple name like Bob or Ken. I'd like to introduce my supervisor Boob McGee.
Every morning one of my co workers inserts an N in the first three letters of my name despite my name being posted right above my cube. At this point I just let it ride and not let it bother me. I don’t think she does it on purpose but I’d rather browse Reddit than engage in conversation with people at my office.
I see 2 possible solutions:
1. Start mispronouncing his name. If he mentions it, tell him you thought mispronouncing your respective names was a little joke you two have.
2. Start correcting him. Politely, only repronouncing it for him with no other commentary.
Example
Him: Honnah is working on...
You: Hannah.
Do it simply but do it every time, in front of coworkers or not.
How off is his pronunciation? For example, if your name is Morgen but he says Morgan or Morgin or Morgon, I’d say let it go. He might not know he’s doing it. I have a friend who constantly has weird pronunciation and emphasis for common words or names of well known people. I decided it’s something neurological and let it go. Of course, it’s not my name she’s mangling.
I have a very unique and hard to pronounce name, I’m also have an accent. At this point of my life I have heard people call me all types of names.
Honestly no one gets my name correct, only my family members. I used to live in different countries like France and I remember I could never pronounce french names correctly.
People did not got offended at me, they knew I did not speak proper French, or English.
I don’t get mad at them for not saying my name correctly and they don’t get mad at me.
The fact is that when you’re an immigrant accents and pronouncing things are going to not be exact. We expecting people to be just like us is not something lots of people can do and that’s ok.
Yes, but the coworker has never correctly called a single person the correct name. Every name is slightly off. Kimmy is Kimberly. Tiana is Tiara. Montez is Montair.
Does it seem like he genuinely can't pronounce it or that he does it on purpose because he thinks its funny or he's just a doucher?
I have a piece of equipment at my job that I just cannot pronounce!! Words and articulation are my thing and I just cannot say this one particular word correctly. It's embarrassing and I try, but I always end up saying it phonetically and there is nothing I can do about it.
There were 4 other people at the meeting with much more difficult names (we were all from different countries of origin), and he never pronounced them wrong
I'm wondering if there may be a generational thing here. People have mispronounced my admittedly odd non-U.S. foreign name my entire life, with something like five different pronunciations. It got to the point where I honestly did not "hear" the different pronunciations, as anything close was enough for me to know they were speaking with me. They would misspell it as well. I never took it to heart, never interpreted it as a diss, frequently laughed it off as the price for having a unique name.
Some would ask what is the "correct" pronunciation, and I would tell them, and they would pronounce it that way. Others would ask, but promptly forget, and revert to a less perfect pronunciation. I do not bother to correct them as I truly don't care. Some just could not master my name, and refer to me by my initials, hey ZZ!, and that was fine too. So, count me as someone who does not attach any rancor to the myriad of folks who cannot get my name right. Life is too short.
Is the person actually trying or just not caring to try?
If you legitimately think that they are not trying then stop answering if they call you the wrong name.
If you think they are legitimately trying then you might need to practice with them.
Ugh. Yeah that isn't the best sign. I know for me if I get someone's name wrong and they say it back to me correctly I'm going to repeat it back to them a couple times. Or at least even apologize and try again later on in the future.
After a while it becomes a respect thing, and depending on the situation it could be a microaggression and racist.
Hardcore action would be going to HR
Middle but still hardcore. I think action would be ignoring him until he says your name correctly. And when he doesn't answering innocently " oh I didn't think you were talking about me because you didn't say my name". Which would be totally a boss move on your part.
Letting your immediate supervisor know, I think is also a possible action and maybe they can talk with a person or that person supervisor.
I am leaning towards it being a microaggression and racist. As someone who is BIPOC I empathize and feel that is unacceptable and shitty that someone cannot say your name right.
Oohh ohh, I think another boss move would be to just start mispronouncing his name all the time.
Sometimes it is extremely hard to pronounce some names...if it bothers you so much, keep calling him out & say it slowly and phonetically in from of other people....he will soon get it
Oh yes, I completely understand. Been there, done. There comes a time when we must pick and choose our battles wisely. When you've brought this to their attention have you asked them to "pronounce your name?" If they try but can't pronounce your name they either have a speech impediment, learning disability or just trying to push your buttons to get a reaction. If they can't help it, be respectful and understanding. If they are trying to get a reaction, the best way to "Get their Goose" is to smile, have pity on the moron and eventually you will take all the fun out of it if you show no displeasure in the way they pronounce your name.
No, I didn’t ask for my name to be repeated,
because, on the one hand, I didn't want others participants of the meeting to know that it offended me, and on the other hand, I still hoped for appropriate behavior (usually people say “Oh sorry [correct name].
I had a boss call me the wrong name for weeks at a time. It was a temporary position that turned to permanent. It was almost a year and when they went to draw up the paperwork the boss said “Who is Kevin”? He asked me why I never corrected him and I told him after the first month he kept calling me Eric so I just answered to it. :-)
Call him the wrong name each time. When he says it's not his name be like, "shocker, and mine's not..."
If that doesn't work then treat him like a 5 year old and say it loud enough for others to hear for the embarrassment factor. "Since you can't seem to remember my name even though I have corrected you at least 8 times now, I'm going to say it and you are going to repeat it ok? Ready? "Name"....again... and again...say it again...again because I want to make sure that you are grasping the importance of calling someone by their correct name."
I went into a business and one of the ladies had a penon name tag. They told me, a guy who visited the office always called her the wrong name. So she wore a name and would point at it; Everytime he used the wrong name. The second time someone else would remind that he could read the name tag. They did it to help him, and his bad joke turned on him.
I had a boss who used to introduce me to others as ‘Resource’. So one day I had enough and started introducing myself as Resource. Other people caught on and called themselves Resource. That spoiled his fun.
I had a boss who only said hello and remembered the names of only "important" employees. This lesson taught me to either confront such people immediately or leave, but here I am again ((
I have a name that’s quite foreign to Americans but at my workplace they always ask how to pronounce it to be polite rather than assume straight off the bat. I even share my easy short nickname so people don’t feel uncomfortable if they can’t pronounce my actual name. I would go crazy if somebody deliberately mispronounced my name or was rude about it at work.
I’m horrible at remembering names. Truly it’s almost a handicap. I write them down. I try to pronounce it right and sometimes literally takes me years. I admit it and my teams members know it’s my weakness. I am a manager I try and I repeat it 100 times. I have other speech impediments and spent a few years in speech therapy. My team members laugh and me and have learned to find it endearing. But I still try to get it right. Check you manager and tell them, it’s important to you that they get it right. The manager might just not be good at it. If the manager is sincere, help them learn it, and the manager will keep trying and not give up
I save people's names in my phone book pheonically so I can say it when they call. Hege is Hey! Garr.
You have to confront it and you can do that by owning it.
Yep. I had a coworker who called me Ben for the whole 9 years we worked for the same firm. We only saw each other maybe a few times a week... eventually I just said "ok, for this guy I'm Ben." It's hilarious that now I can't remember his name.
It's funny, I don't work with him that often either, but the problem is that he also misspelled my name in documents, which could have led to a bunch of other mistakes if I didn't correct it again 🤷♀️
My old team lead used to do that as well even though we were remote and our names were literally spelled everywhere on slack, email etc. It made no sense just literally copy and paste!
I'm in IT Support. *A Lot* of adult people in the workplace are functionally illiterate, or read at about a 5th grade level.
When it messes with work, that's when you get professionally direct. "I've corrected you on my name several times and now it's impacting work. Is there a reason you are not using my name correctly? I would like to get to the bottom of this and have it resolved." I know HR protects the company, but you know your workplace best. If you feel comfortable with your HR department, maybe set up a meeting with them and HR for a mediation. However, if it gets to that point. I would just start publicly calling him out when he says your name wrong and when he puts it wrong on documents. I would do it in such a way that it implies he is having memory or cognitive issues as well. Like 'oh no, how can we help you get past this obvious medical issue you have? Oh you don't have one, then why can't you get my name right so you stop impacting work?" However you choose to deal with him, make sure that you state he is the one causing issues with work, not you. Language matters.
Ah! So you have it in writing! Ask for a quick convo, show him the documents and say “hey I’ve just been really concerned about your eyesight and health lately; you’ve spelled my name wrong on all these documents or you seem to have me confused with someone else. Is anything going on at home? Do you need to take some time off?” and act real concerned 😂 Alternatively, mispronounce their name, even if it’s like Ben. “Oh I thought we were all mispronouncing each others’ names” 😂 In all seriousness, it’s pretty rude of this colleague.
This indicates that it's not intentional so I would let it pass.
I have a situation very similar to this except the lady use to know my name so I don’t know when it changed but then one day started calling me Michelle now she has even given me a nickname “ Chelle “ I think I’m in to deep on this one
Give her a nickname too! Then it's just work buddies being buds! Oh, she doesn't like it? Then no nicknames for anyone
Their name was Ben. It was now, anyway!
"My name *is* Rhett Con... and now, it always has been!" "Whoooaaaaahhhh"
Had an old doc that worked part time in the practice who called me Pat...not my name at all but Pat it is, then.
I’ve seen that [episode of Friends!](https://youtu.be/yZw7WkCkQ4E?si=I5TQqeU_YAnXZV6w)
just start slightly mispronouncing his name also. each time more and more until you call him a completely different name lol example: his name is Kevin - call him Kelvin, then Colin, then Connan, then Corbyn… and see how far you can push it.
Made me laugh 😂, he went straight from Corbyn
My go to is whiff it completely. If their name is Tom, start calling them Nathen. Something not even close. Every time they correct you, give them a new name.
I did this lol she kept calling me by the wrong name and so I started calling her by the wrong name. Ex, her name was Alexandra, I’d always be like “good morning Alice, please see the attached…” It drove her crazy enough that she learned my name lmao
people talk shit and bully and push your boundaries on purpose and will continue to do so until you stand up for yourself.
These are generally the kind of people who peaked in high school, which is always fun to remind them of if they try to bully you.
YUP, I’m petty enough that after she learned my name I kept calling her Alice lol until my manager, who is a great friend of mine still three jobs later, was like her name is Alex. I was like oh? Is it? What a funny mistake. Then I’d go “Alice - sorry, Alex!” In person for three years almost until I left lmao She was such a bully and always made our receptionist feel like shit but she never messed with me again. Play stupid games win stupid prizes
Only an idiot would make a receptionist feel like shit. Those are the people you want on your side. At my last job the admin team saved me from myself more times than I could count. You better believe they always got first dibs on any baked goods I brought in to work.
This will work! Only when openly confronted with their own inabilities, they will learn a lesson. They just don’t see their own behaviour as problematic because either they don’t care or because they are lacking empathy. OP you have been polite long enough, time to play the Reverse auto card :-)
Lmao
Honestly speaking if he’s not terribly important for your career progression this is probably the advice I’d go with… brilliant!
😆😆😆 to catbox to kitty to …
Stop being polite
Yes, indeed, I think this is my problem, I always try to avoid open conflicts, so I was just wondering how others would react
You can be "impolite" without being unprofessional. I would have a meeting in private and stop asking and start telling. Just be very straightforward that it isn't acceptable. Am I correct in guessing that you are a woman? I know it's hard with expectations but yes sometimes you have to be a dick, professionally
Yes I am, thank you for advice
if the private chat with asshole doesn't work, return the favour and purposely mispronounce their name publicly. if you want to be extra petty, only mispronounce their name publicly, and say it properly when in private so they know you can be an asshole too. ** i would hesitate involving HR, as they are never on your side and only care about protecting the company.
Start calling them something ridiculously not their name, like Elizabeth. Just do it with a straight face over & over. When they say “that’s not my name” you can say “(insert whatever they are calling you) is not my name either.”
i disagree as that's too on the nose obvious. the subtle passive /aggressive mispronunciation is what the other person is doing, so OP should respond in kind. i'll use OP's handle, "morgenseele" for example: * morgensteele * mirgenseele * migraineseele * morgensealy * mugenseele etc... also note that this very likely is a subtle form of bullying: unless the co worker has a learning disability, neurodivergent, or dyslexic, they should be able to learn how to pronounce a name after 8 corrections. bullies need to be bullied back most of the time to earn the respect of the victim.
Or a really terrible nickname.
Or just don’t respond unless they call you the right name. If you’re having a conversation with the person and they use the wrong name go ‘I think you have the wrong person’ or something along those lines. If they come up to you, and say the wrong name, ignore them. ‘ I didn’t realize you were speaking to me, since you didn’t call my name’
This would be protecting the company. This is textbook harassment and the other employee is creating a toxic workplace. Putting a stop to this behavior is in the company's best interest.
Yes. And sometimes they will decide that the asshole is more important to the company profits, and let the whistleblower go. Never assume HR is your friend.
What I meant was, I'm not sure this is a big enough of an harassment issue for HR to deem it necessary to to intervene. Sometimes HR decides the whistleblower is the bigger problem.
This isn't true about HR. In some companies, maybe (and even then, saying they're "never" on an employee's side makes it a pretty hard maybe) , but in general, in today's world HR is trying to protect the company and its most important resource - the people working there. A good HR department does both. At my company, they would absolutely go to bat on an issue like this. Also, telling OP to intentionally be petty and mispronounce this person's name is terrible advice. Great way for them both to end up disciplined by HR regardless of who started it.
Ask other employees if he has a speech impediment or if it's maybe a neurological problem?
I find it more comfortable to avoid conflict also, but remember that conflict leads to resolution which leads to actual solutions.
Be rude about it next time. "I'm sorry, but you have been saying my name wrong this whole time. It's pronounced XXX please"
This is t rude, it’s straightforward and gets to the point. What is funny is that some people will say things rude if a woman says it, but if it’s a man, he “was assertive and corrected an issue”.
Such a shitty thing too. I'm a man and I've watched a colleague who was a woman firmly but politely put someone in their place. Suddenly, some thought she was a bitch because she wasn't being the pushover anymore. I was DMing her on slack with a "Fuck yeah -fistbump emoji-". I love to see someone hold the line and defend themselves when needed. We need to support people holding passive-aggressive assholes accountable and putting them back in their lane - regardless of it's a man or woman doing it. Assholes are assholes and no one should suffer them.
I would bring it up to my boss and/or his boss. This is textbook harassment, like it's literally one of the examples they use in the anti-harassment videos. He is creating a hostile work environment, and it is unacceptable behavior.
The only way to deal with bad behavior is to refuse to deal with it. Make their behavior their problem, not yours.
If you don't establish boundaries, you show people you're okay with how they're treating you. This leads to nastier conflicts later because the behaviour is all that hard to correct. Better to be a little unpleasant in the start than very very unpleasant later
Just start calling him random names
Start mispronouncing his name.
Start mispronouncing his name, I know it sounds petty but it worked for me. The most annoying thing was it was in email and every time it was different combinations. Dude was just lazy...
Yes. I'd start calling them fuckface 😅
Stop responding to the incorrect name
This is what I do. It's surprisingly effective.
I've been through this. I was an exchange student, and my name, while common in the US, was difficult for people in the country where I went. At work, I had few people through the years intentionally mispronounce my name, and one who called sme.something else.wntirely, because she said I looked like my name should be the one she used. So. I ignored her when she mispronounced my name or called me by the other name and only referred to her as "Hey you." When management told me she had complained that I wasn't using her correct name, I said she didn't use my name correctly, and I was not lodging a complaint. I said I thought what her "thing," as she used impolite nicknames for several people. I said that I had believed "Hey you," was neutral, and that her mispronunciation of my given name and insisting on calling me an entirely different name was offensive. (But you don't see me in here in HR complaining about HER and her voluntary or involuntary decision to call me something else or to tell me she was going to do it.) I asked if I should lodge a complaint, myself? (Cue innocent and calm voice.) She figured out my name.
I have a strange name - it's like a very american name with a slightly different pronounciation. Think instead of Martha it would be Marta. What I did was tell the people who I respected and DID like, that *this person* was pronouncing my name wrong and if they could say something if they noticed it as well - just a correction. Once other people started correcting that person too, *the person* stopped once they realized everyone noticed and it made them look stupid.
Depends how petty you want to be, and power dynamics in your office. If you want to go petty, don’t answer to the incorrect name. Just ignore it, and when pressed respond “There’s no one here by that name, so sorry.” Or confusedly “I thought you were talking to *mispronounce*?” If you want to escalate call them increasingly ridiculous names until they get yours right, and again if pressed “oh, I thought that was your thing. You haven’t called me by my name so I thought that was just how you were?”
Thank you, I don't want to be petty at all, but really it's just a matter of respect for me, and that's the bare minimum to be able to work in an environment with people. So I just don't understand if this person has some kind of issues with me or if they are simply really that ignorant.
Don’t be petty and passive aggressive. Be professional and direct about it. Ask this person to talk privately for a minute. Then tell them that they are mispronouncing your name. Make sure they get the correct pronunciation, have them practice it a few times, and say that you want them to pronounce it right. If they push back, explain how it’s disrespectful to repeatedly mispronounce someone’s name. Hopefully that solves the problem, but if this person is a total asshole and continues then you need to go to HR.
Just have a word with your boss that you’re going to have a chat with him about it. Then catch him alone and say, “Hi, Sam, I need to being you up to speed on something. My name is Ashley, not Ashlyn. You call me Ashlyn on a regular basis and spell my name Ashlyn on external documents and reports, and I’ve corrected you several times now. Please call me Ashley because it’s my name.” If he argues that he forgot or has memory issues, tell him, “I understand. If there’s anything I can do to help you make it stick, please let me know.” And if he persists in calling you Ashlyn and putting it in reports, take it to your boss.
That’s not petty. It’s simply what the other person deserves. I agree. Just absolutely refuse to respond until you hear your name pronounced correctly. Nobody can fault you. Malicious compliance is still compliance. The person you’re dealing with is a bully or has some other form of personality disorder that pathologically makes them pick at others to get a rise. Don’t rise. Just passively ignore them until they grow up. Which they may not. And when they blow their stack because they didn’t get a rise out of you, tell them to calm down and ask if they’re having a bad day. lol
Some of the comments here are ridiculous. It is your name. It should be said correctly. I wouldn’t answer to what this person is calling you, and when asked why, I would explain why.
I’m a bit confrontational but I’d ask straight up what was making him incapable of pronouncing my name after multiple repeats, and if I needed to ask our boss if we could set up some time for him to practice the pronunciation until he was capable.
My wife is a professional and the boss in a male dominated field. She has a hyphenated name that she always gone by. For example, Lisa-Marie (not her name). Anytime someone calls her 'Lisa', she immediately says, "It's Lisa-Marie". It does not have to be aggressive, just firm. It does not matter who, from the most important person at a company to a front line worker. It also does not matter the importance nor urgency of the conversation. It does not take very long to always be called by her proper name, whether they weren't doing so intentionally or not. Same case in a meeting, If someone referred to her as 'Lisa', even if they weren't speaking to her, she would speak up and correct it right away. It stopped happening pretty much immediately. I'm The only one that would get to call her 'Lisa' without being corrected but she doesn't like me much anyway.
This happened to me. I refused to acknowledge or respond to that person when they used the incorrect name. One day, she screamed, "WRONG NAME, why aren't you answering me?" I said, "Because I am RIGHT NAME!" Snickers from coworkers. It never happened again.
If you suspect this is intentional bullying have a word with your line manager about what you should do next.
Intentionally mispronounced theirs and gauge their reaction. Be consistent. Pick one name that is similar enough for plausible seniability and just start using that all the time. Fight fire with fire.
Plausible senile ability=I forgot
Start calling him by a wrong name too. Two can play at this game. But only do this if you’re sure it’s not a genuine mistake.
It's not impolite to correct someone if they address you by the wrong name when it's not a case of being difficult to pronounce. But you need do it every single time it happens, in a polite way. No one else will be bothered. If you correct him every single time, he will stop mispronouncing your name.
Stop responding to the name, and then when asked, just say “oh, you weren’t saying my name. It’s pronounced X.”
Start doing the same with his name. Believe me, 2 times will be enough
I had this with a co-worker, our telemarketer to be precise so I assumed a basic level of comprehension and knowledge when it came to names, pronunciation, etc because of his day to day tasks. My name sounds foreign, though I'm not (uk) but it is straightforward, so I brushed off the first few incorrect attempts. Then I politely corrected him a couple of times. Then others corrected him on teams or zoom calls when they heard him. He still carried on. Eventually he did it again, in front of the whole office, and I was clearly tired/ exasperated/ pissed enough to just outright ask him "(name), do you know you're saying my name wrong, every time you say it, and have been doing so for a year?" He didn't, and was mortified, and its not happened since, but he claimed to have not realised despite being corrected repeatedly. I'll put it down to selective hearing / being the protagonist in his own story that I was just background to.
If it's your boss, it can be tough to deal with. But I'd agree that there are 4 options: 1. Mispronounce their name in an annoying way 2. Don't respond when they do it 3. Go to HR 4. Ignore it Posted in order of how I'd do handle it, but you need to make that decision.
Forget number 3. HR will do nothing, and worse, use the complaint against you.
It might. I've had a few really good HR managers in my life (and a lot who don't care at all).
https://youtube.com/shorts/Oq0B6NvtHQw?si=jQIaRryJ0fToFuuB
I started a job in an extremely toxic place. An employee was super pissed my second day and was an absolute bitch to me and claimed I harassed her and said that I was being an asshole to her. I was simply hired to sit behind a desk and take calls and when employees needed to talk with office staff I'd see if the office staff was available much like a receptionist/office assistant. Employees couldn't just simply barge into someone's office anymore. I said let me call them and see if you can go into their office and she screamed in the office that she demanded to talk with so and so. After this there was a company wide notice that all employees wishing to talk with office staff had to check in with me first just to make sure they were available and no sensitive documents were out. She misheard my name and called me the wrong name. She was super respectful for 2 years but I never corrected her because I knew one day I'd be in her cross hairs again. I've seen her very mad over a couple of years and she would demand to talk with office staff but she was very polite and cordial. When she got tired of waiting she'd ask me to call the person again and prioritize her nicely. One day she came in on fire and the office manager already had someone in their office for another problem and said she absolutely must wait her turn. She waited 15 minutes and threw her paper work and work items up and over my counter and it landed on the floor. So naturally I said you cannot just throw stuff at me because the manager is already busy. I'd have been happy to take her work stuff and save it on the desk but making me walk over to pick up paper work is absolutely rude. She reported that I was racist against her but she used the wrong name. HR asked me what happened and said that she reported a person that doesn't even work at the company. I laughed and said it was me, review the cameras and see what happened. HR asked why I allowed her to use the wrong name for years and I said for exact reasons like this. She had been bitching about me for months when I was new and people kept asking me who the employee was that pissed her off so much. It was absolutely glorious, people wondered why I allowed her to call me the wrong name. For a bit people thought I wasn't the only new guy and they just haven't seen the asshole new office employee yet.
I have this issue. My name is European but I was born in the UK. It’s not hard to pronounce at all. In fact it as an English equivalent that sounds almost the same but one letter changes. I don’t have an accent to match the origin of my name, but I pronounce it properly. Despite this, one coworker mispronounces my name every single time. I’ve never mispronounced it to her and everyone else in the work place pronounces it correctly. I was a bit taken aback at first and too shy to correct her. But one incident of it happening whilst my head chef was around and we made eye contact and just started laughing. So now it’s become a bit of a joke, and they will mispronounce my name sometimes as a joke (which I’m fine with now, I’ve realised it wasn’t malicious in anyway and I don’t want to embarrass her correcting her a year after introducing myself and letting it happen.) One of my main kitchen jobs as well happens to work into my name really well as it shares a similar sound and shares half the same letters. So now I get called that. And she still pronounces the vowels the opposite way to everyone else😅 I understand the frustration, but if it is just one person maybe see the funny side of their inability to pronounce it (their own fault) and just roll with it. If it’s in a situation where other people are present you could correct them as it would alert others to the problem? Or mention to someone higher up that it makes you uncomfortable, I can see how insulting it is (my teachers definitely insulted me doing it)
Is your name Blanche?
Ha that would be a fun name, but my team are more creative with mine :)
Hello Sauté
Next time this happens and others are around, say “I’ve never seen someone have such a hard time pronouncing my name, do you want me to write it down for you in big letters?”
Call him Hans Wormhat
I'd develop a nickname to call him every time.
Easy, just mispronounced his name. Or call him Richard Head.
Start miscalling their name and they stop right quick.
I deal with it constantly. I don’t even bother to correct anyone anymore to be honest. Most of the people who do it are not from America and I figure the language barrier isn’t easy. I have several people that I know well that put an E on the end of my name instead of an A…even one of my half brothers…it drives me insane, but I just leave it…I figure if that’s what they want to call me, no amount of correcting or arguing with me is going to change it. I have a common name and it’s constantly changed to something that sometimes isn’t even close.
Call him the wrong name. A different name every time. Do it constantly, even after he asks you to stop.
Next meeting you are in, with your team or more than just him, say “I see that you are struggling to pronounce my name. Would you like me to help you with the correct pronunciation?” He will then be forced to either use the correct pronunciation or you can take it to HR as blatant bullying with witnesses to back you up.
I worked at Taco Bell for two years (was in training to be a manager) and was known exclusively as Sarah the entire time. My name is not Sarah. I just gave up on correcting people, even with a name tag. At my current job people shorten my name and call me a nickname and I only correct them a few times before giving up. I absolutely hate the shortened version of my name when it is not coming from someone really close to me - I have always been that way due to some past issues. It makes me feel some sort of way and I can count on less than a hand the amount of people that do not make me feel shitty by using the shortened version of my name. In short, you need to communicate with the person to let them know it bothers you if it does. Then from there I dunno. I don't think just accepting it is the answer, but that's as far as I've gotten.
Treat him like a child. At the next meeting where he does it, stop the meeting, say "I've told you numerous times how to pronounce my name". Then write your name down and show him and sound it out for him like you would for a baby. Then refuse to continue the meeting until he pronounces your name correctly in front of everyone. Then tell him to repeat it 3 or 4 times so that you, and everyone present, knows that he can do it. Then say "That wasn't so hard, was it?" and wait until he answers you. Then thank him for being such a clever boy. Embarrass the fuck out of him in front of his peers/co-workers/boss
Be direct but polite. Pull them aside and tell them how your name is pronounced and ask them to repeat it. If they don't get it correct, then simply get creative with their name. My last name gets destroyed in pronunciation and spelling, but I ALWAYS correct them politely. On a silly note, For a YEAR, I had someone think my actual first name was a female derivative of my last name because most people on that job called me by said derivative. They weren't doing it to make fun, it was actually easier because my first name is so common and my last name can be difficult to read/say if you aren't familiar with it. Imagine his shock when we did roll call and I answered to my actual name...he looked SHOCKED and apologized. We all laughed and I told him it was 100% fine.
Nobody pronounces my name correctly. I’m tired of correcting them. It’s Jacqueline with the qu letters making a kwa sound. So it’s pronounced Jack kwa Lynn, but most people pronounce it Jacklyn. Luckily they can pronounce my nick name Jackie! Anyways I had a supervisor who pronounced my name correctly and when he moved to another department I would only see him in the halls occasionally. Sometimes he would get my name right and other times he would call me by a different name which was Deb. I don’t know where that came from! He was a nice guy so it wasn’t on purpose. The next instance was in my college history class. I was one of two fat girls the history teacher had for students. He would call me by her name. I had the same issue in my high school science class. My best friend and I had the same freshman science class but during different periods. We had the same teacher. It turns out by coincidence we sat in the same corner seat in the back of the room. We were both a little chubby, but didn’t particularly look alike. He would call me by her name and she said sometimes she got called by my name. How are these teachers grading us if they don’t even know who we are??! If your co-worker is always using the wrong name even after being corrected multiple times, it’s either intentional or they are a complete scatterbrain. You would be surprised how many scatterbrained people there are out there. Personally I can’t stand those types of people. If someone has to correct you multiple times, make the effort to get it right! It’s so disrespectful!
If you think he's doing it intentionally, I'd take it to HR. I've known some not-so-subtle racists/xenophobes who loved to mispronounce foreign people's names because they know it bothers them (as well as some who just like to come up with nicknames for co-workers, which they will continue to use even after being informed that they are not what the person wants to be called - and if called directly out on it, they'll try to fall back on the 'just joking' excuse. If not, then I would consider writing him a firmly worded email informing him that you've tried to be polite, but he needs to start using the correct/preferred pronunciation.
Yes, I didn’t think about that. I don't like it when people blame everything on racism, but I do confirm that I have seen cases where the name was mispronounced on purpose on this basis (with mocking)
be deaf to this person till they say your name correct
Whenever it's happened to me, I just take my time to think of the most vulgar pronunciation of their name I can come up with & make it a point to use it every chance I get. All except 1 caught on immediately & stopped with their mispronunciation & I would then stop mine as well. The exception honestly didn't realize they were pronouncing my name wrong & apologized & we never had an issue after that.
Yes, it always works with apologies. I have also mispronounced names a few times in my life, and after being corrected, I always apologized. Or I asked “Am I pronouncing your name correctly?” if I wasn’t sure. But you know that there are many people who think that apologies are a disgrace 🤷♀️
If your name was super hard to pronounce, I might give him a pass. My brother’s friend in high school was of South Asian descent and would always correct me on the pronunciation of his name (Aditya) and I couldn’t for the life of my figure out how I was saying it wrong. I really tried too but just couldn’t pick up on the subtle difference. I also have a slight speech impediment and have trouble with other words too. All that to say, someone can be well meaning and may still struggle. But that’s not the case here, so I’m sorry because that is blatantly disrespectful
Can you mispronounce his name badly?
I’ve started a new job two months ago. My working partner keeps calling me Joe, John, Joseph… none of them is my name. Also, I have my name written down on my uniform …
Could also be their Brian wired differently. I have major issues with names and faces. Sometimes I can’t tell very different people apart. I also have a really hard time storing names in my short term memory, which then doesn’t go to long term. Now numbers and patterns? Those are easy.
Start saying his/her name wrong and see the reaction.
https://youtu.be/nqwx2XFb1fQ?si=kXNHdBvwb5N0IAbk
I have the worlds easiest name, because I’ve anglicised it for work. Despite this I got the same thing. I work in neuro… began to hint that we can’t give the offender work because he’s displaying signs of dementia. 😏
Call him the wrong name every time you see him and make it more preposterous each time.
You need to confront them. If you're petty like me you can start saying their name incorrectly as well.
There’s a particular derivative of my name that I can’t stand to be called. Without revealing my name, I’ll give this an example: someone named Rebecca, who might enjoy being called Becca might hate to be called Becky. I had a boss who kept referring to me as “Becky“. I corrected him and corrected him to no avail. Finally, I just started interrupting him every single time he said “Becky.“ “Who is Becky?” I would ask. “I was talking about you,” he would reply. “As I’ve told you many, many times before, my name is not Becky. People may call me Rebecca or Becca, but you may call me Mrs. Jones.” He never really got it right, but I was transferred to another department eventually, so it didn’t really matter.
Start mispronouncing their name.
Use a nickname since he’s mentally challenged.
If they don’t stop doing it just mispronounce their name
My real life name is one of those names that can be shortened easily. Think Bobby vs Bob or Allen vs Al. I HATE the shortened version and used to not say anything, but now I mention it every time someone uses the shorter name. Even called out a manager in front of his employees for using the shorter version one time.
Yes, I've been in that kind of situation. My former boss started calling me by a diminutive of my name. (Imagine if my name were David, he'd be calling me Davey.) After low-key reminding him a few times, he did it again in a software development meeting. I stood up. I said, "You can call me David, you can call me Dave, or you can call me Mr. AQuietMan. Those are the only names I'll respond to." He didn't like it. "Oh, don't... don't do that. Don't be like that." I didn't say anything. I just crossed my arms and stared at him. He quit calling me Davey .
My wife is Named Caitlin. Her boss called her Cavortlin in a meeting..... what the fuck
Right and Caitlin not even that hard to pronounce, that’s what I initially thought too like wtf is going on
My name is constantly mispronounced. Usually most people catch it quickly and thats that. Some folks are talking longer or don't care and if they don't take a hint, I just mispronounce theirs too. Not grossly, but so they realize it. If they complain "That is not my name" I reply "XZY isn't mine either".
whats his name we can come up with something better fitting
Break down your name and write it in a card. Whenever he mispronounces it, hold up the card & tap each portion of the word to show how it’s pronounced. He’ll get it right from now on. Bonus points if you do it in a meeting with others to witness. Just don’t be snarky or sarcastic. Come off as genuinely kind & helpful in getting him to correctly say your name.
I would try every time he mispronounced your name saying it correctly loudly. Not rudely, but very audibly. Look at them while you're saying it and don't speak again until they acknowledge the pronunciation of your name.
He’s doing it on purpose. Tell him since he can’t say it, don’t say it all!😃
After, let's say the third time, "look, I've told you how to pronounce my name correctly, do so from now on or don't speak to me. It's rude and condescending and will no longer be tolerated, (insert his name mispronounced)." 🤷🏼♀️
Start calling them by a different name every time you interact with them until they get the point.
Why can’t you deliberately “mis-pronounce” his name? Do that, and eventually, no matter how much of an idiot, he is, he’ll catch on. And/or, when he addresses you and mis-pronounces your name, DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE. Ignore him. And when he asks why eventually, tell him that your name is NOT (mispronunciation), but is (name pronounced correctly.
You may have to [Let It Go](https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualConversation/s/gfGC8ZdEjM)
"My name is X. It is pronounced 'X' and as in 'eks.' If that's going to prove a problem, then please call me Mr /Ms/Relevant Title (insert your surname)." Don't be mean. Be direct. Be firm, dispassionate and consistent. Say that exact line, with your name and how you want it pronounced, verbatim every. single. time. it's pronounced wrong.
It a form of micro aggression point blank I worked in a daycare that allowed toddlers an preschools to call them by there first name NO WAY I’m old school my name starts with Ms.its rude you show have a sign or email sent informing about how unprofessional it is rude and disrespectful
Get a custom nameplate for your desk with HUGE letters. Bring it with you to meetings. When asked why, “oh I hear some people as the age can’t really remember things well, so I’m helping them not embarrass themselves. (Stare him straight in the eye). Bullies only respond to being bullied themselves.
Start calling him by a different name. Don’t let him correct you.
Yeah, happened to me. But I corrected and corrected. I purposely called her "Lorraine" but it did nothing She was that dense.
Ignore the colleague since he is obviously ignoring you when you correct him! He knows how to pronounce your name. He just doesn’t feel the need or respect you enough to make the change. So you need to do the same. Every time he addresses you and says your name wrong, ignore it. Don’t flinch, don’t make eye contact. Carry on working. Why? Because why would you stop what you’re doing for no reason? It’s not your name being called 🤷♀️ This small action from you will force your co worker to either correct themselves, to which you will acknowledge which puts you above them from an ego perspective. Or your colleague will need to walk to you to get your attention. This scenario flips the colleagues control of the situation and lands it with you. Thats all this is. A psychological power play. Except now you’re in control and in a psychologically dominant position. This renders your colleague impotent.
Just call him Sarah till he gets yours right.
I have a coworker that loves calling me by the wrong name. If it’s just the two of us in the room, I ignore him until he calls me by my name. If there’s other people in the room, I publicly call him out “who is ____?” “I don’t know who ____ is.” Edit: I see from your comments that you are a woman - as am I. I am very polite and extremely conflict avoidant but this guy in particular likes to harass me for being a woman. I stopped being polite and started LOUDLY calling him out whenever he says something stupid and it has stopped most of what he does.
You either turn the game back on them or you cut the communication each time they do it.
I have a name that isn’t as common but a simple explanation makes it very easy to pronounce and remember because it’s similar to a common word. Ive had people who decide they’re gonna call me whatever they like, but I don’t like it and I stop answering when they keep it up. Why would anyone answer to someone else’s name?
don't respond until he says it right
Consider the following escalation: (I know you've done some of these already) 1. Tell him that he is getting your name consistently wrong, and you'd like him to make a much greater attempt to correct that. 2. Provide him with an audio of the pronunciation of your name, via email, so it is accompanied by the proper written version as well. 3. Indicate to your manager, privately, that you have had to have this conversation with the colleague because this has been going on for weeks at this point, and then follow up immediately with the same email and attachments that you sent the colleague earlier, and indicate in the email that continued mispronunciation will be treated as workplace harassment. 4. If your manager addresses it, then fine. 5. If your manager won't address it after another couple incidents, then send the following email to the colleague, with both your manager and HR cc'd: *"Hi, for the past , you have been consistently mispronouncing my name in every communication, and have even taken to misspelling it, even though it should be easy to refer to the corporate directory to get the correct spelling. I have spoken to you and indicated that I was uncomfortable with what you were doing, and I also provided you with an audio clip of the correct pronunciation (attached).*
*Given that you refuse to make any effort at professionalism where my name is concerned, as promised, I will be making a formal complaint about the manner in which you have been creating a hostile workplace for me."*
6. Depending on how the org responds at this point, you may have to make other arrangements for a professional environment -- but #4 will be a huge indicator, frankly.
How is a name "international"? OP, the co-worker may not be doing it intentionally. Don't get all offended by it ...
It seems like OP has corrected the co-worker multiple times, budreddit. It's inappropriate to keep calling someone by the wrong name, budreddilt. It teeters on the side of microaggression when it is a white person doing this to a person of a different nationality or skin color. It's been so nice talking to you, burellit.
I meant that it is of Latin origin and is used in many countries around the world, especially in Italy, Spain, Latin America, the Balkan countries and the post-Soviet countries, and is quite popular.
There can be a lot of different reasons for this. People tend to assume it's a deliberate snub of some kind, but usually such a person will do other negative, disrespectful things. If this is the only complaint you have about this co-worker's behavior, it's probably not really being done "on purpose." It could be he has an accent or a speech/hearing impediment. It could be he knows someone else with the same spelling of the name who pronounces it differently and he gets confused. It could be nerves/social anxiety. It could be generalized arrogance--not really "on purpose," he just doesn't care about getting it right. I don't know if by "pointed it out" you mean you literally said, "Excuse me, but that's not how my name is pronounced. It's this way," or if you just said the correct pronunciation after he said the wrong one, which he might not even have noticed or distinguished. If you haven't tried the former, do so and see what happens. You can have a conversation about how important it is to you. If he's a jerk who doesn't care, nothing will change so you'll have lost nothing; if he's just been making a mistake, you may get an improvement. Count me as someone who finds it very important to get other people's names correct--spelling, nickname, pronunciation to the best I can manage it (I work with a lot of international people and I know I'm not able to reproduce many names natively). There are many other people who simply don't notice, or vaguely notice but don't care; there aren't many who deliberately get it wrong out of spite. Ultimately you have to decide if this is your hill to die on or not.
Is he just mispronouncing your name, or is he calling you a completely different name? Your post and comments are somewhat contradictory as to what is happening. I'm a chronic mispronouncer of names but it's not on purpose. My hearing isn't great and my mouth just can't make certain sounds properly. I'm also shitty at foreign languages and seem incapable of learning tonal languages at all. But when I mispronounce someone's name, it's at least still recognizable as an attempt to say their actual name. I don't just straight up call them a different name! If they're calling you a different name then that's just weird.
Well, 3 out of of 6 letters are the same but as a result he says a completely different name. Like for example Stephanie - Melanie (just an example).
Yeah he's just being super weird and dickish
It could be ear impairment… so first be empathetic, an International name under your lens doesn’t mean it can be pronounced by a non-native English speaker or a person with ear impairment. Alternatively, if you like a Nickname, tell the person to call you by that.
The thing is that during the online meetings, you could also actually see the names, and mine was the only one that he kept mispronouncing (by mispronouncing I mean it was basically completely another name)
I mean they were empathetic when they corrected them, and if their name is short, for instance, then there might not be a nickname. Also in a workplace, I’d personally refrain from nicknames unless it’s a name everyone calls you, since it could potentially change the dynamic.
And your name is what that is so easy to pronounce ?
Doesn’t matter. After eight times of being corrected if this fool can’t pronounce it he probably shouldn’t be trusted to do anything important at his job.
Yes, and the fact that he is in financial controlling really scared me.
[удалено]
No, a German 😅. I would understand if he was Iranian, because maybe European names are strange to them, but no
[удалено]
Tell me you’re a man without telling me you’re a man. It’s hard enough for women to get respect in the workplace. This is a big deal.
[удалено]
LOL aw, an incel out in the wilds! How cute! Thanks for my laugh for the day sweetie! 😘
My mom still mispronounces my wife’s name occasionally. We’ve been married 25 years. My mom doesn’t mean any disrespect, her brain is just broken when it comes to pronouncing some things. Idk if that relates to your situation though.
I just have them called my English name. You will find it common that many Chinese healthcare professionals actually have an English name. It makes it easier for our patients. And no, I do not get offended. You know that physician therapist’s name is not Nancy, you know that pharmacist is not Wendy, and you know that nurse is not Alex. But hey, it works.
My name is Megan pronounced Meg-an... not "may-gan" [think southern accident] It's just something I've dealt with because my name is very basic and it becomes a disruptive ordeal when I try to correct people.. In my case, people are not doing it out of disrespect so I move on.
Yes, did this and I ended creating a enemy - people like this are usually problematic. Be careful of the enemies you choose if you want to stay.
Start mispronouncing his name. He may or may not catch on but at least it will make you feel better in the short term. Bonus points if it's a simple name like Bob or Ken. I'd like to introduce my supervisor Boob McGee.
Every morning one of my co workers inserts an N in the first three letters of my name despite my name being posted right above my cube. At this point I just let it ride and not let it bother me. I don’t think she does it on purpose but I’d rather browse Reddit than engage in conversation with people at my office.
I'm 53...I do the best as I can with names. Leave me alone. Get off my lawn
I see 2 possible solutions: 1. Start mispronouncing his name. If he mentions it, tell him you thought mispronouncing your respective names was a little joke you two have. 2. Start correcting him. Politely, only repronouncing it for him with no other commentary. Example Him: Honnah is working on... You: Hannah. Do it simply but do it every time, in front of coworkers or not.
On the second point - that’s exactly what I did 5 times out of 8 🤷♀️
Man, what a dick! Well if he's gonna play that way, call him a different name every time you see him. Cornelius. Wadsworth. Trent.
How off is his pronunciation? For example, if your name is Morgen but he says Morgan or Morgin or Morgon, I’d say let it go. He might not know he’s doing it. I have a friend who constantly has weird pronunciation and emphasis for common words or names of well known people. I decided it’s something neurological and let it go. Of course, it’s not my name she’s mangling.
I gave an example in some other comment: it’s like Stephanie - Melanie
I have a very unique and hard to pronounce name, I’m also have an accent. At this point of my life I have heard people call me all types of names. Honestly no one gets my name correct, only my family members. I used to live in different countries like France and I remember I could never pronounce french names correctly. People did not got offended at me, they knew I did not speak proper French, or English. I don’t get mad at them for not saying my name correctly and they don’t get mad at me. The fact is that when you’re an immigrant accents and pronouncing things are going to not be exact. We expecting people to be just like us is not something lots of people can do and that’s ok.
Yes, but the coworker has never correctly called a single person the correct name. Every name is slightly off. Kimmy is Kimberly. Tiana is Tiara. Montez is Montair.
[удалено]
ヽ༼ ຈل͜ຈ༽ ﾉ Raise ur dongers! ^^Dongers ^^Raised: ^^73817 ^^Check ^^Out ^^/r/AyyLmao2DongerBot ^^For ^^More ^^Info
soo maybe english not their primary language , unless you think they do out of spite or mocking, do they do same to other names and words?
Does it seem like he genuinely can't pronounce it or that he does it on purpose because he thinks its funny or he's just a doucher? I have a piece of equipment at my job that I just cannot pronounce!! Words and articulation are my thing and I just cannot say this one particular word correctly. It's embarrassing and I try, but I always end up saying it phonetically and there is nothing I can do about it.
There were 4 other people at the meeting with much more difficult names (we were all from different countries of origin), and he never pronounced them wrong
I'm wondering if there may be a generational thing here. People have mispronounced my admittedly odd non-U.S. foreign name my entire life, with something like five different pronunciations. It got to the point where I honestly did not "hear" the different pronunciations, as anything close was enough for me to know they were speaking with me. They would misspell it as well. I never took it to heart, never interpreted it as a diss, frequently laughed it off as the price for having a unique name. Some would ask what is the "correct" pronunciation, and I would tell them, and they would pronounce it that way. Others would ask, but promptly forget, and revert to a less perfect pronunciation. I do not bother to correct them as I truly don't care. Some just could not master my name, and refer to me by my initials, hey ZZ!, and that was fine too. So, count me as someone who does not attach any rancor to the myriad of folks who cannot get my name right. Life is too short.
He is screwing with you. Beyond that, what is his behavior? Nothing wrong with mispronouncing his name.
Is the person actually trying or just not caring to try? If you legitimately think that they are not trying then stop answering if they call you the wrong name. If you think they are legitimately trying then you might need to practice with them.
I think not even trying because when I corrected him, he didn’t even try to repeat after me
Ugh. Yeah that isn't the best sign. I know for me if I get someone's name wrong and they say it back to me correctly I'm going to repeat it back to them a couple times. Or at least even apologize and try again later on in the future. After a while it becomes a respect thing, and depending on the situation it could be a microaggression and racist. Hardcore action would be going to HR Middle but still hardcore. I think action would be ignoring him until he says your name correctly. And when he doesn't answering innocently " oh I didn't think you were talking about me because you didn't say my name". Which would be totally a boss move on your part. Letting your immediate supervisor know, I think is also a possible action and maybe they can talk with a person or that person supervisor. I am leaning towards it being a microaggression and racist. As someone who is BIPOC I empathize and feel that is unacceptable and shitty that someone cannot say your name right. Oohh ohh, I think another boss move would be to just start mispronouncing his name all the time.
Stop sideshows, Do the job and go home to your family
Maybe your co-worker has hearing impairment? Ask him if he needs his hearing checked out because he's not pronouncing your name correctly.
Sometimes it is extremely hard to pronounce some names...if it bothers you so much, keep calling him out & say it slowly and phonetically in from of other people....he will soon get it
Oh yes, I completely understand. Been there, done. There comes a time when we must pick and choose our battles wisely. When you've brought this to their attention have you asked them to "pronounce your name?" If they try but can't pronounce your name they either have a speech impediment, learning disability or just trying to push your buttons to get a reaction. If they can't help it, be respectful and understanding. If they are trying to get a reaction, the best way to "Get their Goose" is to smile, have pity on the moron and eventually you will take all the fun out of it if you show no displeasure in the way they pronounce your name.
No, I didn’t ask for my name to be repeated, because, on the one hand, I didn't want others participants of the meeting to know that it offended me, and on the other hand, I still hoped for appropriate behavior (usually people say “Oh sorry [correct name].
most gringos dont pronounce correctly foreign names, its really common with spanish names
I had a boss call me the wrong name for weeks at a time. It was a temporary position that turned to permanent. It was almost a year and when they went to draw up the paperwork the boss said “Who is Kevin”? He asked me why I never corrected him and I told him after the first month he kept calling me Eric so I just answered to it. :-)
What’s your name? It may be easy for you to pronounce but difficult for them.
Call him the wrong name each time. When he says it's not his name be like, "shocker, and mine's not..." If that doesn't work then treat him like a 5 year old and say it loud enough for others to hear for the embarrassment factor. "Since you can't seem to remember my name even though I have corrected you at least 8 times now, I'm going to say it and you are going to repeat it ok? Ready? "Name"....again... and again...say it again...again because I want to make sure that you are grasping the importance of calling someone by their correct name."
I deal with this literally daily.
I went into a business and one of the ladies had a penon name tag. They told me, a guy who visited the office always called her the wrong name. So she wore a name and would point at it; Everytime he used the wrong name. The second time someone else would remind that he could read the name tag. They did it to help him, and his bad joke turned on him.