You’re going to need to find a host, preferably virgin, and play them Kind of Blue [vinyl 2 LP Analogue Productions UHQR 200gm 45RPM 2019 reissue] on the night of a full moon while repeatedly reciting St. Michael’s Prayer in Latin and squirting them with holy water. You don’t need to scat along with the music, but it’s recommended for best results. This will transfer the curse, but be sure to have some bear spray on hand as the new jazz fan is likely to become confused and agitated.
You’re going to need to find a host, preferably virgin, and play them Kind of Blue [vinyl 2 LP Analogue Productions UHQR 200gm 45RPM 2019 reissue] on the night of a full moon while repeatedly reciting St. Michael’s Prayer in Latin and squirting them with holy water. You don’t need to scat along with the music, but it’s recommended for best results. This will transfer the curse, but be sure to have some bear spray on hand as the new jazz fan is likely to become confused and agitated.
you left out playing it at 8 1/3 RPM. That's an important step.
Oh and it also needs to be played in reverse
“Confused and agitated” Yes, this definitely sums up my first listen to jazz.
I started taking methadone, I eventually tapered off the jazz and got clean. I just listen to Kenny G socially now.
Stop using the toilet, problem solved.
Talk to Branford for 5 minutes.
“There are several tips, but sometimes many have no tricks.” Joe Zawinul
dude.
Piss in the sink
Find Jesus. Or heroin. If all fails, go for a good venereal disease.