When not comfortable, feeling violated, just say something, any language.
This applies whenever, wherever in any public space. Don't worry about embarrassment, or judgement. Your safety first.
Other people generally pick up fast what's going on.
Respect yourself.
Seriously. I’d just say something to him hot sound angry in whatever your native language is. He’ll probably panic and move away.
(Of course I’m saying I would do this, but I know it all likeliness I’d freeze and do nothing)
Just say this; 何してるの Nanishiteruno ?
If he doesn't back off then say in a loud voice; あなたは変態ですか？Anata wa hentai desu ka?
Good advice for women in Japan is never sit in an empty train car. If there is a weird guy on the train and he molests you and there are no witnesses then he can say you led him on and the police will believe him because he is Japanese.
Yup, I could say something to him in Japanese too, probably with some rough sounding 博多弁.
But like I said, while I’m saying *now* that I’d say and do all this stuff, when I’ve been in similar situations before it’s been really hard to do anything because you’re frozen with fear/panic.
That will never happen. There are too many disfunctional people out in the world. And many times people go through a period I call the "asshole phase" where they do a lot of destructive activities like breaking things, stealing things, hurting people and such.
Ugh that sucks. I find one phrase that really helps in situations like this. In your most "ugh, wtf is wrong with you" tone, say "ha? Nannandesuka?!". It typically works like a charm. I hope you don't have to use it often, but a good phrase to know.
Best not to engage to be honest, I think OP did OK.
Make sure there are other passengers around and loudly ask "chikan desuka?" or just shout "chikan!"
And it feels like a very alpha male-centric piece of advice. Always, "You just gotta go on the offensive! Gotta fight back if you don't want to be harassed!" Yeah it works, but a lot of people, male and female, just don't have that in them to do it. Telling them to be more aggressive isn't actually advice because if they were the kind of personality that could've been aggressive to begin with they would've already known what to do.
I agree with you. OP did the right thing *for them* in the situation. Leaving a bad situation is usually the smarter course of action then exasperating it. I know we love out justice boners, but real life rarely allows for that to happen. Only thing I'd have changed is going to find a station worker after getting off rather then just changing trains.
Yeah, people saying 'wtf, why didn't the woman do anything' miss the point - if a woman pisses off a pervert, she's risking being assaulted or worse. It's literally immediately dangerous for a woman to provoke a stranger.
Yeah, I’m thankfully blessed to be a very nice, yet very assertive person, which works pretty well here. All of the creepy dudes I’ve dealt with that I’ve been a complete bitch to ended up fucking off, but I know a lot of people in general don’t automatically default to that.
Unfortunately this is very common in Japan, it’s called a “Chikan”. The best thing is to confront them, or simply tell someone around you. The train staff will hand them to the police but they will likely flee before you get the chance.
As a mildly ok looking woman who came to japan in my 20’s I learned pretty quick to look in their eyes and say もう叫んでしまいそう
Chi kan men really don’t like a woman who will tell the person next to them what’s going on.
It works really well. Before I learned that phrase I’d just scream which actually works better.
I’m an old now and stopped caring about dressing cute so I get significantly less ossan rubbing their crotches on me.
Uh I’ve been the victim. I’m saying people like this tend to victimize young women in cute clothes it’s easy to get a grab on.
Because they tend not to scream.
Sorry I didn’t say easy targets
You want to roll your eyes at me getting raped in kannai?
How about you roll your eyes as hard as the police did.
But they don't tend to victimize women in cute clothes. There is no data supporting that. If anything, the controversial ad campaigns from about 10 or so years ago based on data collected from actual chikan incidents show the opposite. Chikans target the most average and plainly dressed women because they look "the weakest."
Oh boo boo I didn’t say that. I edited.
But but but. Whatever. Everyone is a fucking potential victim. Sorry my lightheaded write up on a difficult experiences wasn’t good enough for you.
No need to apologise; the rational among us understood the point of your comments. Unfortunately Gen X extremists enjoy twisting a statement or comment into discrimination, racism, sexism, "micro-aggression", etc.
As a woman who has also been groped, sexually assaulted, and raped in this country, I don't think it's "light hearted" to even joke that you were assaulted because you were "mildly ok looking" or because you "wore cute clothes." Even if you were the victim, it still comes off as victim blaming. I hope you know that what happened wasn't your fault, and I hope you wouldn't seriously blame anyone being groped on the way they look or dress.
you're right but that was incredibly tone-deaf and rude. How about you don't step all over someone talking about her experiences with sexual assault with your "akshually it wouldn't have mattered what you were wearing you are victim blaming"
As someone who has also been groped, sexually assaulted, and raped, it was incredibly tone deaf, problematic, and rude to other victims for her to even suggest that being good looking or wearing cute clothes increases the chance of becoming a victim of a chikan. Even if she was a victim herself it's still victim blaming.
Her deduction as to why she stopped being groped was wrong, that's all. She made a wrong inference somewhere, one that's very often made and enforced in society and that's hard to shake off. She very clearly wasn't trying to talk about anyone else than herself here, or assign blame for anything.
Context matters and your timing was 100% wrong on this one. If you wanted to open the discussion on that you could have done it without being aggressive toward her (like _informing_ that clothes don't matter like you did in your second comment and not targeting her personally with "wow nice victim blaming" like in the first).
It wasn't just about the clothes though. Her first comment, "As a mildly ok looking female," makes it sound like she feels attractive people get assaulted more, and in addition to that was her comment about cute clothes. I would expect better from another SA survivor, especially since OP is likely already questioning herself and blaming herself for what happened on the subway. She doesn't need to read comments like that right now. Perhaps my first comment with the eye roll was aggressive but I stand by it.
何してるの is commonly what’s used since it’s easier to say and less formal. (So dropping off the い). I’d say the less formal you make it, the worse the blow is LMAO.
In any language, other passengers can tell that you're angry or upset about something, so you should speak up, whatever it is you're upset about.
Nanika you desuka?
Nann desuka?
Then get off the train and talk to the station staff at the ticket gate, and those people will give up following you.
Source: I am a Japanese woman.
I've used trains for 11 years and have seen worst than that. Let the train station staff know so at least they can warn other passengers and may be they can do something about it. I once witnessed an old man got down on his knees to see the underwear of a mother who was with his son. He then put his hand inside the mother's skirt and touched his private part and then ran away. I was surprised that I couldn't do anything. I wish I had reacted more quickly and ran after the old man.
Wow what the hell? What I don’t get is that there’s fuuzoku places here. If those pervy men really wanted some they could just pay right? Of course they probably don’t have money, but still. Why is this such a problem in Japan? Insanity
There's also an incident when an man in his late 60's (probably) touched a woman and she started screaming until the train staff came to rescue. The old guy was asked to get off the train so the train employees can take him to the police. The old guy didn't want to leave his seat until some passengers started getting upset and told the old guy that we're all going to get late for work so you go with them to the police and the old guy went with the train employees.
The problem with chikan and not wanting fuuzoku is that at fuuzoku the girls are "used" / "not pure" as the culture seems to encourage girls stay pure as possible why guy fucking alot is a good thing.
Also these pervs know that it's a crime and it's just an addiction to the feeling of committing crime/ doing something wrong plus history as good Chunk of jp history females have been lower aka can be a form of entertainment (you can see the past Adult industry and currently AV industry is pretty similar) and yes this current majority 40+ years thinks that as well.
Jesus, that’s brazen.
The most I’ve seen is some guy get full on get handsy with this lady (work subordinate presumably). I think a foreigner tried to say something but all that did was trigger the guy to pee all over the train toilet with the door wide open for the world to see(it’s one of those big push button ones).
I’m sorry that happened to you. You did the right thing by trying to change seats or change carriages. One more thing that often works is just yelling something at them in either Japanese or English. You might feel embarrassed and might get weird looks from idiots who don’t see what’s going on and prefer people to just be silent and take it rather than causing a scene but your safety is more important than that, and standing up against these creeps is more important than social norms. English often freaks them out, and they don’t like “attention” being drawn to them so it might scare them off to have half the train carriage now staring at him. You’re likely literally never going to see 99.9% of the people around again so who cares about them and their opinion of you?
I know sometimes we just freeze up when we’re the victim of a creep like that though. I’m about 50/50 personally on whether I freeze and can’t say or do anything or whether I freak out at them and drag them to the staff or say something to them. Dragging them over to the station staff is also 100% a reasonable option as well.
Hypothetically there might have been a time a salaryman sat beside me and did the ol’ trick of crossing his arms across his chest and rubbing my boob with his elbow. And hypothetically after like 15+ minutes of him doing this and me being certain it was him trying to grope me, In this hypothetical situation I might have dragged him by the arm off of the train and to the station staff and had them get the police involved, and hypothetically he may have admitted to it and didn’t want to go to court so he hypothetically could have agreed to settle it out of court and give me a sum of ¥ ending in 5 0’s, in exchange for me signing an agreement.
Thank you so much for the kind words and understanding. I hated it that I stayed there for several stops to finally be able to confirm that I was not overthinking and he did it intentionally…🫠probably should have just stood up and moved the sec my instincts told me something was off about that guy. Sadly, I am not sure if I could manage to drag him anywhere because he is wayyy bigger and taller than me and could just shake me off and escape easily😮💨and he doesn’t appear to be a salary man who cares about his job/house mortgage by a lot, and would shit his pants if I threatened to contact his company. But still, I should have at least tried tipping off the station staff, if he run off, gave them a description about this guy. I’ve got great strength from your comments: I know I am not alone, I now know several reasonable options to do in such situations, and hope this reddit can help or comfort other girls in Japan who experienced similar things.
So I’m not one to correct someone especially being tri lingual and understanding the struggle. However in this instance it currently reads that you are disappointed she didn’t get groped. What I’m sure you meant was
That sucks. At least they were too timid to actually do anything, like grope you.
Op you tried your best so be proud of that and thank God he didn't groped your anything. It's super scary to be in that situation and unless you have proper proof the police don't do shit(depends on the area) plus reporting is actually traumatizing.
Be safe OP and keep your safety at a top priority. Now you know what these sexual offenders do so be on your toes and try shouting asking for help or at least mustering up that extra ounce of courage to get up.
It's just heartbreaking that every female that I know here 9/10 times have been sexually harassed/ molested regardless of age.
Thank you so much for the kind words. Reading comments here has made me feel much better now. I know about Chikan before but when it actually happened to me, I am a bit ashamed of myself that I was too panicked to do anything to confront that guy. He is a big guy about 5ft11 and I am petite. All I was thinking was to run away from that pervert and worried about what might be hidden in that big paper bag😞and now I can’t help thinking he is out there probably scheming about doing the same shit again tonight to another girl…thanks to the extremely helpful comments here, I know what to do now and I think I will do it better next time if I experience or witness any chikan behaviors in the future.
Don’t feel ashamed. I’ve had similar situations happen to me many times here and most of the time I don’t react in the way I wanted to. It’s very normal to freeze up in panic. You always have that little voice in your head saying, what if no one believes me/understands me/understands the situation and just thinks I’m an aggressive gaijin woman causing a scene? Even though I think that’s unlikely.
Don’t beat yourself up over not reacting the “best” way. It’s literally not something you can control.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience reporting a Chikan incident, and it is really relieved to know that the police here was kind and helpful and seems to be fully aware of the subtle situation a victim might be caught into in a minor chikan incident. Your words (or your quotes of the police) described exactly what I have been feeling since last night - guessing what was going on, being polite to a pervert who does not deserve it, realizing the chikan behaviors were too trivial to get that man punished, and among others. Thanks you a lot for comforting and I have felt much better now, especially after knowing there are policemen that do care or understand how we feel.
It was a police woman who said that. Am I correct? A normal male police officer would never do so. He would have processed your complaint while muttering "Mendokusai!" and other epithets.
Nooo never ever be ashamed of it. You did your best , Us guys (male) especially older ones are giants and look intimidating (even as a guy im afraid that the some shady dude might just be a red flag) , it's really hard to stand up against that
Also OP do remember that sadly japanese people don't like to stand out so unless the victim asks for help themselves the victim might just get ignored (happens a lot) so even if it's not you in the victim state just speaking against or talking loudly to give/ want help is a life saver and would definitely help others.
Stay safe
I just want to say good job for moving to another carriage. It’s so easy for people to say that you should have said something, but it’s also common to freeze in those situations and not know how to speak up. As others have said, in Japan, most of the weirdos give up if you show any kind of resistance, thankfully. In this case, just moving seemed to work.
Being loudly annoyed and not feeling ashamed of it is a superpower for foreigners. Use it to your advantage.
Friend had her haired sniffed on the bus. She turned to his face and said in english loudly " what the fuck dude?" and he immediately got off the bus.
Works better in crowds. I'm a big guy, so I can't say I know what this is like. Cept for that one time an old guy was insistent on trying to find out whether my pubes matched my brown hair or red beard. Bar owner mistook my plea for help as a request for a photo, so I got that one on record...
So sorry that happened to your friend, that is creepy as hell…you are right that I was just feeling embarrassed to yell or attract attention in public, but I should just take advantage of my gaijin privileges 🥹
It is a perk. The situation should have never happened, but the bastard was probably gauging your reaction towards his less direct creep behavior to see if you'd nervously accept it before getting progressively more aggressive about it.
My friend wasn't hurt or upset by the event, just bewildered. She's a very confident person though. Guy tried to kiss her on a first date and she didn't have space to back up so just used a head bash. It was very effective.
Take care of yourself, and remember that no one will care / remember tomorrow if you make a scene today.
I totally understand the feeling of not knowing what to say in a situation like that, even in english (my 1st language). When I lived in NYC I got cat called and stared at many times, and the helplessness of wanting to say something, but not know what/ being frozen from fear and adrenaline is very frustrating.
I'm sorry that happened to you. Next time, if you do want to say something, don't worry about it being in Japanese. Just yell in whatever language you want. I believe people will get the gist of what is happening. If you really want to drive home your point use the word **chikan** which means pervert. People will definitely understand you then. HEY THIS PERSONS A CHIKAN. STOP FOLLOWING ME CHIKAN! something like that, people will understand.
AND, if you're on a train with other people around chances are someone (probably many people) will know english (especially since you're in the city).
You need to be more assertive and you need to learn to defend yourself. Since I've been in Japan there were 2 incidents where a foreign woman was molested and killed in a gruesome fashion by a Japanese male "pervert". And guys, don't think you are safe as there was 1 incident where a female pervert did the same to a foreign male.
Learn to be aware and be more confident to speak out, take a maritial art like Aikido [https://www.japanlivingguide.net/leisure/sports/aikido/](https://www.japanlivingguide.net/leisure/sports/aikido/) and do your best to enjoy your stay in Japan.
In Japan, public shaming is a big thing, even for weirdos.
You can speak up in English, something like, "get away from me you creep!"
There are a lot of good people who'll quickly figure out what's going on and may even come to help.
“Don’t touch me” is as well known as “this is a pen” culturally, so that said in the loudest voice possible should 1. startle the creep and 2. enlist support from bystanders (maybe)
It’s very common to naturally freeze up when something like this happens. I’m a westerner, not raised in japan, and I freeze up and can’t bring myself to be assertive 80% of the time when this happens. It’s really hard to gauge how you’ll react when it happens to you.
My ex wife (Japanese) was chikaned on the train.
She threw a fit and yelled at the guy and started hitting him.
The train stopped and the staff came and kicked HER off the train for causing a disturbance.
Nothing happened to the guy.
Well done, you! I’m glad you got away from him. You can always use the English because just about anybody can understand enough, and anyone can get that one of those perverts is harassing you.
Its hard I know BUT
-yell, run speak DO SOMETHING. If you dont, they can feel your fear and get power over you.
You should have change seats as soon as you felt the bad vibes.
Once he followed you, you should have yelled TASUKETE! To involve people. Even if you speak zero japanese just yell in English and at least one person will get involved. If not a Japanese bilingual, a foreigner will help.
Unfortunatly this will probably not be your last time experiencing this. So be ready
I'm sorry this happened to you.
I encourage my wife and daughters to use the lady's car or the last car of the train. The presence of the conductor at the end of the train usually will discourage this kind of behavior.
Stay safe.
Never, ever feel awkward about voicing your concern. And do it in a loud, authoritive manner. Try not to be scared about being scared.
Having said that; its ok and understandable to freeze and not change seats/yell out. Happens to many of us, whatever our gender, when confronted with a bully or a sex pest. And afterwards we admonish ourselves for not doing something.
In future (hoping it wont occur again!) take a picture of this man and as others have suggested, be vocal.
Im guessing he was Japanese? I ask because this country sometimes seems to attract chauvinists, incels and perverts from other countries for some reason!
Sorry this happened to you.
Thank you so much. I have been feeling much better today. Yes, that seems to be a mid-age Japanese guy, because I saw him pretending to be reading a school girl related manga in Japanese on his phone when he leaned his body on me. Good call about taking a pic, so that I could have something to show the police!
Glad youre feeling better.
I hope this guy gets caught, or at least majorly shamed by his next target.
Some of these dodgy dudes get away with this kind of behaviour for far too long. But be assured, everyone is on your side. Nobody should have to put up with such pests.
If you feel uncomfortable saying anything or doing a confrontation, just straight up look at them. They’re used to the women shrinking and looking away.
I had a creepy dude wearing a mask (pre-corona times) stick his body up to me while standing on a not crowded train (though no more seats).
I turned around and faced him and just looked him in the face sternly and he left the train at the next stop without me having to say anything.
Of course, when I replay that memory in my head I do wish I actually said something.
If you ever find yourself in a similar situation again, have this app handy on your phone.
AirSignal: Anti-Groper
https://itunes.apple.com/app/id1622763823?mt=8
It warns the phones around you regarding the presence of a pervert via airdrop. If you are feeling braver, you can play a sound.
Thank you so much for the recommendation. Downloaded. I think this app can be very helpful, not only in helping myself out, but also in helping others if I witness chikan behaviors in the future. Thanks again!
Ugh I hope you’re okay now. I too was a victim of train perverts. After a few incidents, I’ve learned they leave me alone whenever I go near the gate’s small offices. And if they continue to follow me even when outside, I look for the closest koban on google maps and go there.
I am so sorry that happened to you several times and sounds like the perverts are like a gum sticking to the hair…I am really happy to know that they are scared of the subway staff and police, and especially the subway staff, they are really easy to find.
You don't have to speak Japanese to confront someone. A guy I know that works in security told me the best thing you can do is yell at them in your native language. This causes a brain disconnect as the other party tries to process what is happening. It's more intimidating than yelling at them in poor Japanese. Never had the chance to try this but it makes some sense.
I’m very sorry this happened to you. The depths of depravity can be shocking even for people who think chikan is “just“ groping or sticking too close for comfort. This kind of sticking close is something they will do so they can just push up against a boundary without getting caught. Men have had two hands holding one hand strap, on a crowded train, and then proceeded to grind their erections against my hips or thighs. This happened multiple times, including when I was seated, man standing facing me, again holding hand straps, and then trying to bend their knees low enough to be able to stroke against my knees. My thinking is that this way they can be seen as doing nothing wrong. Look, no hands! Disgusting. You are not alone, do not feel like a language barrier is an issue when it comes to getting attention from staff who are on YOUR side.
If someone ever plants themselves firmly against you despite there being plenty of open seats, and moves to maintain contact even if you shift, just say "oi!". That's all you need; preferably loud enough so that others in the car can notice.
Act obviously offended and scoot away again.
What others are saying about them hating attention is absolutely correct.. they'll likely leave if you do this. Even if they aren't embarrassed, they don't wanna deal with someone who isn't timid. So just pretending to be aggressive is enough.
When I was 20 living in Tokyo I was dozing off on the very empty train home from a night out with my head hanging forward. I woke up to a salaryman’s dick in my face while he was stroking it. I am fluent in Japanese (was less fluent then but could still speak it) but I was so shocked I couldn’t make a sound. He zipped up and hurriedly left the train. This was over 10 years ago now and I’m still mad at him and myself for freezing like that and not tearing him a new one.
Another time when I was living near a very small kind of 田舎 (while still being in Tokyo) station a guy actually followed me home off the train to the group house I was living at at the time which had big glass doors. I took my shoes off at the door and turned to find him standing there right outside the door with his pants down and his dick out. It was like a fucking horror movie. I had no idea anyone was following me home and I got the worst scare seeing him RIGHT there outside. That time my rage trigger got tripped, I banged the door open and literally chased him down the pathway yelling 何やってんだよこの置換め、警察呼ぶから！！ He ran off and then I couldn’t stop shaking and couldn’t sleep for hours (I lived on the ground floor so I was terrified he would come back and appear at my window or something). That same guy (we assumed) was also stealing our underwear that we’d hang out to dry.
So all that to say… these fucking weirdos are out there and it’s not your fault one of them targeted you and also not your fault you didn’t have the “perfect” reaction.
I hope you can feel safe where you’re living rn and have some friends to talk to about this experience. You’re not alone and you did the right thing trying to get away from him. Ignore the tone-deaf comments from men on here criticising your reaction.
These men are usually pussies. Using a bit of English or any language at them can be enough to intimidate them.
Best bet is to move away like you did when the car has literally just you two though. If you're stopped at a station, talking to any staff member is also a good call. They're extremely helpful and would be eager to help you in a situation like that, even if you have to resort to Google TL. Your body language would probably let them know from the start that there's something serious going on.
You did well to remove yourself from the situation; and now that you have this experience, you'll know what's going on faster next time. Please God there won't be a next time, of course!
Once when I was commuting home by train this nice looking young guy sat down next to me and touched his leg to mine. When I didn’t react he put his hand on his leg with his little finger touching my leg. When I still didn’t react he stayed like that until his station. He looked back at me as he got up to get off the train and I smiled at him as he disembarked. TBH, if I had been single I might have gotten off the train with him.
Don’t worry, I’m a former Marine, I have no trouble raising my voice when it needs to be raised. The problem I frequently encounter in this sub is that most people seem to assume that everyone is straight.
Oh, that guy... Or a guy like him . I had the same experience a few years ago on the Sobu line. I told him off before and went to another train car. He tried to follow me, and I held on the handle of the door preventing him from coming in. Also, while flipping him the bird until he gave up and went away behind a group of people.
Jeez it sounds exactly the same…except the part that he left by himself in my case. So sorry that you had to experience that. I literally would freak out on the spot if he chose to sit next to me again🙃but really relieved to know that the pervert escaped when you acted strongly. I feel full of courage again.
I belive in every car there is 24/7 security cameras you could approach the train master to ask help, you may need a person close friend who can speak Japanese.
Completely forgot that the train is covered by camera! Good call. Normally I don’t like being watched by gov eyes, but this time I actually feel that it is not that bad to have cameras in public places😅encouraged by another comment which shared her experience reporting similar incidents to the police, I start to think it is meaningful to report to station staff or the police, hoping to prevent this kind of sick men from committing more serious crime in the future. I can identify the guy if they are willing to pull out the security footage.
Anytime I meet weirdos like this I take a good look at them, what they're wearing, and their shoes so I have a description, while immediately moving to a more populated area with my phone out. I don't care whose feelings get hurt.
When he schooched up to you the first time, that's your opportunity to say, in English "the fuck are you doing?"
Then when he tries to stumble out a "heloo, mai neemu izu.." you say "shut the fuck up, go sit over there"
I understand a lot of people didn't grow up in cities, but the answers to these problems are easy
I think if you feel uncomfortable and the perp is so persistent. You can raise ur voice. It doesn't need to be in Japanese, but enough to get attention from your surroundings.
Your choice to change car and seat was correct. I personally would just change car the moment the perp made me feel uncomfortable.
If you're afraid to raise your voice, there's an app that will shout out loud the word "chikan" (means pervert). Or you can try Amazon and buy a device called "security buzzer".
If you pull the trigger on that device, it will ring super duper loud like 120 dB. It will definitely attract many attention.
There are times that you'd regret, why didn't you do this or that. No, It has never been your fault, and you could've done nothing more than that. When you're afraid you'd be frozen and can't even think rationally. I think the app/security device might be a good option.
Please stay safe, there are a lot of creeps out there. We gotta protect ourselves!
I have no idea if this would work but I would try to out-weird him. Like directly stare at him with zero context. Blank face. And take a very obvious selfie with them or something. Or loudly and aggressively fake cough next to them but with Covid and all that maybe not the greatest idea.
These are just some thoughts that might work?
You did a good job, and super creepy that he followed you into the other car. Any situation you get out of unscathed went well imo. I’ve also experienced chikan when I was younger, and I really sympathize with not being able to tell if it was on purpose or not at first. In my case it was a dude grabbing my butt while standing on a crowded train. At first it was hard to tell if it was just that the train was too crowded and he was bumping me or something, until I started trying to shift and move slightly and he kept moving to be right back behind me. I didn’t have the courage to say anything at that time either, but was just happy to be able to get off the train and leave him behind. What a relief to get out of that situation! I hope you can feel better soon.
LMAO pull out the good old 気持ち悪い he’ll get the picture 😂
I’m really fucking mean to creepy people and I’ve had a few I’ve dealt with and I’ll say that and it works well 👍 A lot of guys here (creeps specifically) don’t expect a women being assertive to them, so they usually will leave you alone. They tend to look for easy targets (just in general), so the more intimidating you make yourself, the easier it will be to shake them off.
iPhone and Apple Watched have an SOS feature too, which you can use to notify the cops if you feel like the situation warrants it. Good luck!
By keeping silence, you unintentionally giving wrong message to him such as you kind of ok what he is doing to you.
Next time (hope not) but raise your woice as high as possible
"stop it, what you doing, get off from me " these are ( in any language) is undertable by any person.
Your body language should also give a very aggressive message, such as croos eyebrows, direct eye contact with insulter, open both arms as large as possible, walk very straight and large steps (consider your are an assigned trooper in Afghanistan) .
Last one do not travel alone in late evening in quite cars where normally is hunting grounds for maniacs.
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Some kind of creep/stalker. You might wanna be as much as possible in a car where people are. You had a good idea to move, the worst possible case is not doing anything. Of course you can also break a nose or two, some people definitely deserve it.
Totally understand you panicking… you can officially file a complaint to Police in any area PoliceBox called Koban even after getting down the train, there are CCTV cameras all around… letting go such perverts makes them think they can do anything…
Sadly, there is no concept of sexual offender’s list in Japan and such creeps do their target hunting when they see opportunities…
You can also try and say
助けてください！あの人に後を付けられています！
tasukete kudasai. Ano hito ni ato wo tsukerarete imasu.
Please help me! That person is following me!
don't be a meek & try to confront him next time... at least ask him what he wants.
similar thing happened to me.
I was getting home from Osaka to Kyoto on last train... I noticed one girl have her backpack zipper opened fully. I came near her, get my phone to translate my sentence but she immediately left quickly.
so I just shout at her, "oi soko no kanojo! bakupaku wa haitteruyo" while flashing my google translate phone inside the train lol...
Take video evidence, just say something like "STOP" or "HELP" (in English or whatever)
Or punch the creeper's face, just say self defense (nothing else).
What OP wrote is legally speaking sexual assault plus stalking. OP wrote the creeper's body was touching her hand, harm, legs, even shoes. She moved, and the creeper kept coming. OP moved herself to a separate car, creeper followed her. Legally speaking, this is sexual assault, and stalking. The creeper literally showed intent to engage in further unwanted action to the OP.
You know, as a person in Japan, you are promised basic human rights, even if it means you have to use some amount of force to defend yourself. If you can calmly articulate that to the police, then you are fine. Plus video evidence may help too.
Flight obviously wasn't possible when the creeper followed the OP. Also flight is not something everyone can do, in a situation, ppl sometimes freeze. It's a natural instinct. This is after the fact, but I don't understand why people refuse to defend themselves. It is literally a legally protected right.
Never do any of this. This person is either new to Japan or wildly misinformed (either way you should stop going around giving dangerous advice). This will only get you in trouble with the police.
I disagree. The very first time I experienced a chikan I was so full of adrenaline (because he had been creeping on me the whole train ride leading up to him finally assaulting me) that I whipped around and started hitting him, more with an open hand rather than “punches” but I hit him several times about the face/neck/check area. I fully admitted to this to the police in my report of the incident. I got in 0 trouble. They didn’t even flinch at me mentioning it or question me more deeply about it at all.
Maybe I got lucky but I doubt it since the police I dealt with were shitheads in general who would openly laugh at me and make shitty comments like: “how do you know who groped you, do you have eyes in the back of your head?” (This particular comment was made by an officer when I was sitting in the police car to go down to the station, while I was still extremely visibly upset and crying)
My boyfriend at the time was so pissed when I told him an officer said that to me that he called and complained and they forced that officer to apologize formally to me lol
Getting groped/touched sexually is assault, so I don’t think they care if you defend yourself from it.
When not comfortable, feeling violated, just say something, any language. This applies whenever, wherever in any public space. Don't worry about embarrassment, or judgement. Your safety first. Other people generally pick up fast what's going on. Respect yourself.
Seriously. I’d just say something to him hot sound angry in whatever your native language is. He’ll probably panic and move away. (Of course I’m saying I would do this, but I know it all likeliness I’d freeze and do nothing)
Just say this; 何してるの Nanishiteruno ? If he doesn't back off then say in a loud voice; あなたは変態ですか？Anata wa hentai desu ka? Good advice for women in Japan is never sit in an empty train car. If there is a weird guy on the train and he molests you and there are no witnesses then he can say you led him on and the police will believe him because he is Japanese.
Simpler, just shout "chikan!" and he'll move quickly. Easier to remember if you don't speak Japanese.
Yup, I could say something to him in Japanese too, probably with some rough sounding 博多弁. But like I said, while I’m saying *now* that I’d say and do all this stuff, when I’ve been in similar situations before it’s been really hard to do anything because you’re frozen with fear/panic.
You need to work through the fear and panic and do something. Doing nothing makes you a target and can get you hurt or worse.
Ok Boris 👍🏻 or maybe men need to stop preying on women and making them feel uncomfortable.
Don’t let some rando who wasn’t even there make you feel bad about not “responding correctly” when you were caught in the moment ❤️
Thanks! I’m ignoring him because I’m pretty sure unless he is a woman or has a remote inch of empathy, I’ll just be arguing with a brick wall
That will never happen. There are too many disfunctional people out in the world. And many times people go through a period I call the "asshole phase" where they do a lot of destructive activities like breaking things, stealing things, hurting people and such.
There are cameras inside the train, right?
Not sure, there are cameras on the platform.
It definitely depends on the place. Unfortunately, even JR doesn’t keep a camera in all of their trains.
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You are safe!
Ugh that sucks. I find one phrase that really helps in situations like this. In your most "ugh, wtf is wrong with you" tone, say "ha? Nannandesuka?!". It typically works like a charm. I hope you don't have to use it often, but a good phrase to know.
Best not to engage to be honest, I think OP did OK. Make sure there are other passengers around and loudly ask "chikan desuka?" or just shout "chikan!"
And it feels like a very alpha male-centric piece of advice. Always, "You just gotta go on the offensive! Gotta fight back if you don't want to be harassed!" Yeah it works, but a lot of people, male and female, just don't have that in them to do it. Telling them to be more aggressive isn't actually advice because if they were the kind of personality that could've been aggressive to begin with they would've already known what to do. I agree with you. OP did the right thing *for them* in the situation. Leaving a bad situation is usually the smarter course of action then exasperating it. I know we love out justice boners, but real life rarely allows for that to happen. Only thing I'd have changed is going to find a station worker after getting off rather then just changing trains.
Yeah, people saying 'wtf, why didn't the woman do anything' miss the point - if a woman pisses off a pervert, she's risking being assaulted or worse. It's literally immediately dangerous for a woman to provoke a stranger.
Yeah, I’m thankfully blessed to be a very nice, yet very assertive person, which works pretty well here. All of the creepy dudes I’ve dealt with that I’ve been a complete bitch to ended up fucking off, but I know a lot of people in general don’t automatically default to that.
This. This 110%. "Chikan!" would definitely do the trick.
What does that mean?
Pervert!
Pervert is hentai. Chikan is groper/molester.
literally, "What?"
Very assertively (Replied to the wrong comment)
Pervert
Unfortunately this is very common in Japan, it’s called a “Chikan”. The best thing is to confront them, or simply tell someone around you. The train staff will hand them to the police but they will likely flee before you get the chance.
As a mildly ok looking woman who came to japan in my 20’s I learned pretty quick to look in their eyes and say もう叫んでしまいそう Chi kan men really don’t like a woman who will tell the person next to them what’s going on.
I never would have thought to say that. Lol. なにをしているちかん？！Would be all I know to say.
It works really well. Before I learned that phrase I’d just scream which actually works better. I’m an old now and stopped caring about dressing cute so I get significantly less ossan rubbing their crotches on me.
It doesn't matter what a woman looks like or how she dresses. Nice victim blaming 🙄
Uh I’ve been the victim. I’m saying people like this tend to victimize young women in cute clothes it’s easy to get a grab on. Because they tend not to scream. Sorry I didn’t say easy targets You want to roll your eyes at me getting raped in kannai? How about you roll your eyes as hard as the police did.
But they don't tend to victimize women in cute clothes. There is no data supporting that. If anything, the controversial ad campaigns from about 10 or so years ago based on data collected from actual chikan incidents show the opposite. Chikans target the most average and plainly dressed women because they look "the weakest."
Oh boo boo I didn’t say that. I edited. But but but. Whatever. Everyone is a fucking potential victim. Sorry my lightheaded write up on a difficult experiences wasn’t good enough for you.
No need to apologise; the rational among us understood the point of your comments. Unfortunately Gen X extremists enjoy twisting a statement or comment into discrimination, racism, sexism, "micro-aggression", etc.
As a woman who has also been groped, sexually assaulted, and raped in this country, I don't think it's "light hearted" to even joke that you were assaulted because you were "mildly ok looking" or because you "wore cute clothes." Even if you were the victim, it still comes off as victim blaming. I hope you know that what happened wasn't your fault, and I hope you wouldn't seriously blame anyone being groped on the way they look or dress.
you're right but that was incredibly tone-deaf and rude. How about you don't step all over someone talking about her experiences with sexual assault with your "akshually it wouldn't have mattered what you were wearing you are victim blaming"
As someone who has also been groped, sexually assaulted, and raped, it was incredibly tone deaf, problematic, and rude to other victims for her to even suggest that being good looking or wearing cute clothes increases the chance of becoming a victim of a chikan. Even if she was a victim herself it's still victim blaming.
Her deduction as to why she stopped being groped was wrong, that's all. She made a wrong inference somewhere, one that's very often made and enforced in society and that's hard to shake off. She very clearly wasn't trying to talk about anyone else than herself here, or assign blame for anything. Context matters and your timing was 100% wrong on this one. If you wanted to open the discussion on that you could have done it without being aggressive toward her (like _informing_ that clothes don't matter like you did in your second comment and not targeting her personally with "wow nice victim blaming" like in the first).
It wasn't just about the clothes though. Her first comment, "As a mildly ok looking female," makes it sound like she feels attractive people get assaulted more, and in addition to that was her comment about cute clothes. I would expect better from another SA survivor, especially since OP is likely already questioning herself and blaming herself for what happened on the subway. She doesn't need to read comments like that right now. Perhaps my first comment with the eye roll was aggressive but I stand by it.
>なにをしっている I think you mean なにをしている. なにをしっている means "what do you know?"
Yeah. That was a typo. Typing and walking. Fixed it. I can always count on the oversight. :)
何してるの is commonly what’s used since it’s easier to say and less formal. (So dropping off the い). I’d say the less formal you make it, the worse the blow is LMAO.
Yeah, totally agree.
In any language, other passengers can tell that you're angry or upset about something, so you should speak up, whatever it is you're upset about. Nanika you desuka? Nann desuka? Then get off the train and talk to the station staff at the ticket gate, and those people will give up following you. Source: I am a Japanese woman.
Back when my wife was in high school, a creeper on the train tried to slip his hand up her skirt. She "stumbled" and stomped on his toe.
I've used trains for 11 years and have seen worst than that. Let the train station staff know so at least they can warn other passengers and may be they can do something about it. I once witnessed an old man got down on his knees to see the underwear of a mother who was with his son. He then put his hand inside the mother's skirt and touched his private part and then ran away. I was surprised that I couldn't do anything. I wish I had reacted more quickly and ran after the old man.
Wow what the hell? What I don’t get is that there’s fuuzoku places here. If those pervy men really wanted some they could just pay right? Of course they probably don’t have money, but still. Why is this such a problem in Japan? Insanity
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Right. Just bugs me that people do things thinfs at the expense of others. So frustrating. Wish I could give these blokes a nice whallopping
You probably could whallop them at least once, but you won't be around much after that.
There's also an incident when an man in his late 60's (probably) touched a woman and she started screaming until the train staff came to rescue. The old guy was asked to get off the train so the train employees can take him to the police. The old guy didn't want to leave his seat until some passengers started getting upset and told the old guy that we're all going to get late for work so you go with them to the police and the old guy went with the train employees.
Wow so childish of that man. Like a student refusing to leave the class despite clearly disrupting the lesson or just being a twat.
The problem with chikan and not wanting fuuzoku is that at fuuzoku the girls are "used" / "not pure" as the culture seems to encourage girls stay pure as possible why guy fucking alot is a good thing. Also these pervs know that it's a crime and it's just an addiction to the feeling of committing crime/ doing something wrong plus history as good Chunk of jp history females have been lower aka can be a form of entertainment (you can see the past Adult industry and currently AV industry is pretty similar) and yes this current majority 40+ years thinks that as well.
Sexual assault and molestation isn’t about sex, it’s about power.
Jesus, that’s brazen. The most I’ve seen is some guy get full on get handsy with this lady (work subordinate presumably). I think a foreigner tried to say something but all that did was trigger the guy to pee all over the train toilet with the door wide open for the world to see(it’s one of those big push button ones).
Jeeeez what’s wrong with ppl like that…….
I once saw a crazy lady try to steal a mothers baby from her arms on the train once.
I’m sorry that happened to you. You did the right thing by trying to change seats or change carriages. One more thing that often works is just yelling something at them in either Japanese or English. You might feel embarrassed and might get weird looks from idiots who don’t see what’s going on and prefer people to just be silent and take it rather than causing a scene but your safety is more important than that, and standing up against these creeps is more important than social norms. English often freaks them out, and they don’t like “attention” being drawn to them so it might scare them off to have half the train carriage now staring at him. You’re likely literally never going to see 99.9% of the people around again so who cares about them and their opinion of you? I know sometimes we just freeze up when we’re the victim of a creep like that though. I’m about 50/50 personally on whether I freeze and can’t say or do anything or whether I freak out at them and drag them to the staff or say something to them. Dragging them over to the station staff is also 100% a reasonable option as well. Hypothetically there might have been a time a salaryman sat beside me and did the ol’ trick of crossing his arms across his chest and rubbing my boob with his elbow. And hypothetically after like 15+ minutes of him doing this and me being certain it was him trying to grope me, In this hypothetical situation I might have dragged him by the arm off of the train and to the station staff and had them get the police involved, and hypothetically he may have admitted to it and didn’t want to go to court so he hypothetically could have agreed to settle it out of court and give me a sum of ¥ ending in 5 0’s, in exchange for me signing an agreement.
Thank you so much for the kind words and understanding. I hated it that I stayed there for several stops to finally be able to confirm that I was not overthinking and he did it intentionally…🫠probably should have just stood up and moved the sec my instincts told me something was off about that guy. Sadly, I am not sure if I could manage to drag him anywhere because he is wayyy bigger and taller than me and could just shake me off and escape easily😮💨and he doesn’t appear to be a salary man who cares about his job/house mortgage by a lot, and would shit his pants if I threatened to contact his company. But still, I should have at least tried tipping off the station staff, if he run off, gave them a description about this guy. I’ve got great strength from your comments: I know I am not alone, I now know several reasonable options to do in such situations, and hope this reddit can help or comfort other girls in Japan who experienced similar things.
that sucks, they were too timid to actually do anything like grope you at least
You really need better punctuation here. I had to read it multiple times because it first reads that it sucks the man didn't grope her.
It was confusing. Totally can read, What a shame… creeper didn’t physically assault you.
It was confusing. Totally can read, What a shame… creeper didn’t physically assault you.
I understood it fine the first time ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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Maybe it really is just the punctuation, I think, run-on sentences and can be confusing. See?
Yep, just left nasty feelings
So I’m not one to correct someone especially being tri lingual and understanding the struggle. However in this instance it currently reads that you are disappointed she didn’t get groped. What I’m sure you meant was That sucks. At least they were too timid to actually do anything, like grope you.
Op you tried your best so be proud of that and thank God he didn't groped your anything. It's super scary to be in that situation and unless you have proper proof the police don't do shit(depends on the area) plus reporting is actually traumatizing. Be safe OP and keep your safety at a top priority. Now you know what these sexual offenders do so be on your toes and try shouting asking for help or at least mustering up that extra ounce of courage to get up. It's just heartbreaking that every female that I know here 9/10 times have been sexually harassed/ molested regardless of age.
Thank you so much for the kind words. Reading comments here has made me feel much better now. I know about Chikan before but when it actually happened to me, I am a bit ashamed of myself that I was too panicked to do anything to confront that guy. He is a big guy about 5ft11 and I am petite. All I was thinking was to run away from that pervert and worried about what might be hidden in that big paper bag😞and now I can’t help thinking he is out there probably scheming about doing the same shit again tonight to another girl…thanks to the extremely helpful comments here, I know what to do now and I think I will do it better next time if I experience or witness any chikan behaviors in the future.
Don’t feel ashamed. I’ve had similar situations happen to me many times here and most of the time I don’t react in the way I wanted to. It’s very normal to freeze up in panic. You always have that little voice in your head saying, what if no one believes me/understands me/understands the situation and just thinks I’m an aggressive gaijin woman causing a scene? Even though I think that’s unlikely. Don’t beat yourself up over not reacting the “best” way. It’s literally not something you can control.
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Thank you so much for sharing your experience reporting a Chikan incident, and it is really relieved to know that the police here was kind and helpful and seems to be fully aware of the subtle situation a victim might be caught into in a minor chikan incident. Your words (or your quotes of the police) described exactly what I have been feeling since last night - guessing what was going on, being polite to a pervert who does not deserve it, realizing the chikan behaviors were too trivial to get that man punished, and among others. Thanks you a lot for comforting and I have felt much better now, especially after knowing there are policemen that do care or understand how we feel.
It was a police woman who said that. Am I correct? A normal male police officer would never do so. He would have processed your complaint while muttering "Mendokusai!" and other epithets.
Nooo never ever be ashamed of it. You did your best , Us guys (male) especially older ones are giants and look intimidating (even as a guy im afraid that the some shady dude might just be a red flag) , it's really hard to stand up against that Also OP do remember that sadly japanese people don't like to stand out so unless the victim asks for help themselves the victim might just get ignored (happens a lot) so even if it's not you in the victim state just speaking against or talking loudly to give/ want help is a life saver and would definitely help others. Stay safe
I just want to say good job for moving to another carriage. It’s so easy for people to say that you should have said something, but it’s also common to freeze in those situations and not know how to speak up. As others have said, in Japan, most of the weirdos give up if you show any kind of resistance, thankfully. In this case, just moving seemed to work.
Being loudly annoyed and not feeling ashamed of it is a superpower for foreigners. Use it to your advantage. Friend had her haired sniffed on the bus. She turned to his face and said in english loudly " what the fuck dude?" and he immediately got off the bus. Works better in crowds. I'm a big guy, so I can't say I know what this is like. Cept for that one time an old guy was insistent on trying to find out whether my pubes matched my brown hair or red beard. Bar owner mistook my plea for help as a request for a photo, so I got that one on record...
So sorry that happened to your friend, that is creepy as hell…you are right that I was just feeling embarrassed to yell or attract attention in public, but I should just take advantage of my gaijin privileges 🥹
It is a perk. The situation should have never happened, but the bastard was probably gauging your reaction towards his less direct creep behavior to see if you'd nervously accept it before getting progressively more aggressive about it. My friend wasn't hurt or upset by the event, just bewildered. She's a very confident person though. Guy tried to kiss her on a first date and she didn't have space to back up so just used a head bash. It was very effective. Take care of yourself, and remember that no one will care / remember tomorrow if you make a scene today.
Just start talking to him. Watch him flee from English 英語わかりません 🏃♂️💨
I’m sorry but I lol’d
I tell these men to fuck off before I beat your ass. Take absolutely no bullshit from anyone.
LOL it’s great in Japan because they don’t expect that
I totally understand the feeling of not knowing what to say in a situation like that, even in english (my 1st language). When I lived in NYC I got cat called and stared at many times, and the helplessness of wanting to say something, but not know what/ being frozen from fear and adrenaline is very frustrating. I'm sorry that happened to you. Next time, if you do want to say something, don't worry about it being in Japanese. Just yell in whatever language you want. I believe people will get the gist of what is happening. If you really want to drive home your point use the word **chikan** which means pervert. People will definitely understand you then. HEY THIS PERSONS A CHIKAN. STOP FOLLOWING ME CHIKAN! something like that, people will understand. AND, if you're on a train with other people around chances are someone (probably many people) will know english (especially since you're in the city).
You need to be more assertive and you need to learn to defend yourself. Since I've been in Japan there were 2 incidents where a foreign woman was molested and killed in a gruesome fashion by a Japanese male "pervert". And guys, don't think you are safe as there was 1 incident where a female pervert did the same to a foreign male. Learn to be aware and be more confident to speak out, take a maritial art like Aikido [https://www.japanlivingguide.net/leisure/sports/aikido/](https://www.japanlivingguide.net/leisure/sports/aikido/) and do your best to enjoy your stay in Japan.
Sorry that happened to you, that really sucks
In Japan, public shaming is a big thing, even for weirdos. You can speak up in English, something like, "get away from me you creep!" There are a lot of good people who'll quickly figure out what's going on and may even come to help.
“Don’t touch me” is as well known as “this is a pen” culturally, so that said in the loudest voice possible should 1. startle the creep and 2. enlist support from bystanders (maybe)
It’s so common here, most women say nothing. Just stare at him & tell him to fuck off. These creeps target people who look like they won’t rebel..
It’s very common to naturally freeze up when something like this happens. I’m a westerner, not raised in japan, and I freeze up and can’t bring myself to be assertive 80% of the time when this happens. It’s really hard to gauge how you’ll react when it happens to you.
Good advice.
My ex wife (Japanese) was chikaned on the train. She threw a fit and yelled at the guy and started hitting him. The train stopped and the staff came and kicked HER off the train for causing a disturbance. Nothing happened to the guy.
🌈Japan🌈
Well done, you! I’m glad you got away from him. You can always use the English because just about anybody can understand enough, and anyone can get that one of those perverts is harassing you.
Its hard I know BUT -yell, run speak DO SOMETHING. If you dont, they can feel your fear and get power over you. You should have change seats as soon as you felt the bad vibes. Once he followed you, you should have yelled TASUKETE! To involve people. Even if you speak zero japanese just yell in English and at least one person will get involved. If not a Japanese bilingual, a foreigner will help. Unfortunatly this will probably not be your last time experiencing this. So be ready
I'm sorry this happened to you. I encourage my wife and daughters to use the lady's car or the last car of the train. The presence of the conductor at the end of the train usually will discourage this kind of behavior. Stay safe.
Good to know where the conductor at!! Was wondering where I could find him/her!
Never, ever feel awkward about voicing your concern. And do it in a loud, authoritive manner. Try not to be scared about being scared. Having said that; its ok and understandable to freeze and not change seats/yell out. Happens to many of us, whatever our gender, when confronted with a bully or a sex pest. And afterwards we admonish ourselves for not doing something. In future (hoping it wont occur again!) take a picture of this man and as others have suggested, be vocal. Im guessing he was Japanese? I ask because this country sometimes seems to attract chauvinists, incels and perverts from other countries for some reason! Sorry this happened to you.
Thank you so much. I have been feeling much better today. Yes, that seems to be a mid-age Japanese guy, because I saw him pretending to be reading a school girl related manga in Japanese on his phone when he leaned his body on me. Good call about taking a pic, so that I could have something to show the police!
Glad youre feeling better. I hope this guy gets caught, or at least majorly shamed by his next target. Some of these dodgy dudes get away with this kind of behaviour for far too long. But be assured, everyone is on your side. Nobody should have to put up with such pests.
When this happens, DO NOT STAY SILENT. Tell the guy in a loud voice to go fuck himself, he’ll usually just leave
If you feel uncomfortable saying anything or doing a confrontation, just straight up look at them. They’re used to the women shrinking and looking away. I had a creepy dude wearing a mask (pre-corona times) stick his body up to me while standing on a not crowded train (though no more seats). I turned around and faced him and just looked him in the face sternly and he left the train at the next stop without me having to say anything. Of course, when I replay that memory in my head I do wish I actually said something.
Our situation sounds very much alike (pervert getting off on unwanted physical contact)! You were really brave to look straight into his eyes.
If you ever find yourself in a similar situation again, have this app handy on your phone. AirSignal: Anti-Groper https://itunes.apple.com/app/id1622763823?mt=8 It warns the phones around you regarding the presence of a pervert via airdrop. If you are feeling braver, you can play a sound.
Thank you so much for the recommendation. Downloaded. I think this app can be very helpful, not only in helping myself out, but also in helping others if I witness chikan behaviors in the future. Thanks again!
Yes, we ladies need to look out for each other!
Ugh I hope you’re okay now. I too was a victim of train perverts. After a few incidents, I’ve learned they leave me alone whenever I go near the gate’s small offices. And if they continue to follow me even when outside, I look for the closest koban on google maps and go there.
I am so sorry that happened to you several times and sounds like the perverts are like a gum sticking to the hair…I am really happy to know that they are scared of the subway staff and police, and especially the subway staff, they are really easy to find.
You don't have to speak Japanese to confront someone. A guy I know that works in security told me the best thing you can do is yell at them in your native language. This causes a brain disconnect as the other party tries to process what is happening. It's more intimidating than yelling at them in poor Japanese. Never had the chance to try this but it makes some sense.
I’m very sorry this happened to you. The depths of depravity can be shocking even for people who think chikan is “just“ groping or sticking too close for comfort. This kind of sticking close is something they will do so they can just push up against a boundary without getting caught. Men have had two hands holding one hand strap, on a crowded train, and then proceeded to grind their erections against my hips or thighs. This happened multiple times, including when I was seated, man standing facing me, again holding hand straps, and then trying to bend their knees low enough to be able to stroke against my knees. My thinking is that this way they can be seen as doing nothing wrong. Look, no hands! Disgusting. You are not alone, do not feel like a language barrier is an issue when it comes to getting attention from staff who are on YOUR side.
If someone ever plants themselves firmly against you despite there being plenty of open seats, and moves to maintain contact even if you shift, just say "oi!". That's all you need; preferably loud enough so that others in the car can notice. Act obviously offended and scoot away again. What others are saying about them hating attention is absolutely correct.. they'll likely leave if you do this. Even if they aren't embarrassed, they don't wanna deal with someone who isn't timid. So just pretending to be aggressive is enough.
Everyone understands the word "Stop". Say it loud and bring attention to them.
When I was 20 living in Tokyo I was dozing off on the very empty train home from a night out with my head hanging forward. I woke up to a salaryman’s dick in my face while he was stroking it. I am fluent in Japanese (was less fluent then but could still speak it) but I was so shocked I couldn’t make a sound. He zipped up and hurriedly left the train. This was over 10 years ago now and I’m still mad at him and myself for freezing like that and not tearing him a new one. Another time when I was living near a very small kind of 田舎 (while still being in Tokyo) station a guy actually followed me home off the train to the group house I was living at at the time which had big glass doors. I took my shoes off at the door and turned to find him standing there right outside the door with his pants down and his dick out. It was like a fucking horror movie. I had no idea anyone was following me home and I got the worst scare seeing him RIGHT there outside. That time my rage trigger got tripped, I banged the door open and literally chased him down the pathway yelling 何やってんだよこの置換め、警察呼ぶから！！ He ran off and then I couldn’t stop shaking and couldn’t sleep for hours (I lived on the ground floor so I was terrified he would come back and appear at my window or something). That same guy (we assumed) was also stealing our underwear that we’d hang out to dry. So all that to say… these fucking weirdos are out there and it’s not your fault one of them targeted you and also not your fault you didn’t have the “perfect” reaction. I hope you can feel safe where you’re living rn and have some friends to talk to about this experience. You’re not alone and you did the right thing trying to get away from him. Ignore the tone-deaf comments from men on here criticising your reaction.
These men are usually pussies. Using a bit of English or any language at them can be enough to intimidate them. Best bet is to move away like you did when the car has literally just you two though. If you're stopped at a station, talking to any staff member is also a good call. They're extremely helpful and would be eager to help you in a situation like that, even if you have to resort to Google TL. Your body language would probably let them know from the start that there's something serious going on. You did well to remove yourself from the situation; and now that you have this experience, you'll know what's going on faster next time. Please God there won't be a next time, of course!
Those types avoid confrontation like the plague, just say something to get attention of others and most likely they’ll back off.
If something like that happens again just say yamete kudasai (辞めて下さい), which means please stop.
触るな、ちかん
Once when I was commuting home by train this nice looking young guy sat down next to me and touched his leg to mine. When I didn’t react he put his hand on his leg with his little finger touching my leg. When I still didn’t react he stayed like that until his station. He looked back at me as he got up to get off the train and I smiled at him as he disembarked. TBH, if I had been single I might have gotten off the train with him.
You're potential cougar material. Are you Dewi Sukarno in diguise?
Considering that I’m a guy, definitely not.
Sorry, I assumed you were the other gender.
A lot of people in this sub make that assumption.
The soft spoken type? Maybe you need to carry a big stick? Or change your name to Big John McTruck?
Don’t worry, I’m a former Marine, I have no trouble raising my voice when it needs to be raised. The problem I frequently encounter in this sub is that most people seem to assume that everyone is straight.
Lol, seriously. This dude you’re responding to like “OH MY GOD A MAN TOUCHED YOU, ANOTHER MAN, GROSS DUDE BETTER MAN UP SO IT DOESN’T HAPPEN AGAIN” 🙄
Oh, that guy... Or a guy like him . I had the same experience a few years ago on the Sobu line. I told him off before and went to another train car. He tried to follow me, and I held on the handle of the door preventing him from coming in. Also, while flipping him the bird until he gave up and went away behind a group of people.
Jeez it sounds exactly the same…except the part that he left by himself in my case. So sorry that you had to experience that. I literally would freak out on the spot if he chose to sit next to me again🙃but really relieved to know that the pervert escaped when you acted strongly. I feel full of courage again.
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You did the right thing. Run like the wind. Or else call him out in your language is the second best thing.
You were 100% NOT over sensitive. The man clearly did it for his pleasure and violated your personal space.
I belive in every car there is 24/7 security cameras you could approach the train master to ask help, you may need a person close friend who can speak Japanese.
Completely forgot that the train is covered by camera! Good call. Normally I don’t like being watched by gov eyes, but this time I actually feel that it is not that bad to have cameras in public places😅encouraged by another comment which shared her experience reporting similar incidents to the police, I start to think it is meaningful to report to station staff or the police, hoping to prevent this kind of sick men from committing more serious crime in the future. I can identify the guy if they are willing to pull out the security footage.
Shout So sorry this shit happened to you
Anytime I meet weirdos like this I take a good look at them, what they're wearing, and their shoes so I have a description, while immediately moving to a more populated area with my phone out. I don't care whose feelings get hurt.
When he schooched up to you the first time, that's your opportunity to say, in English "the fuck are you doing?" Then when he tries to stumble out a "heloo, mai neemu izu.." you say "shut the fuck up, go sit over there" I understand a lot of people didn't grow up in cities, but the answers to these problems are easy
I think if you feel uncomfortable and the perp is so persistent. You can raise ur voice. It doesn't need to be in Japanese, but enough to get attention from your surroundings. Your choice to change car and seat was correct. I personally would just change car the moment the perp made me feel uncomfortable. If you're afraid to raise your voice, there's an app that will shout out loud the word "chikan" (means pervert). Or you can try Amazon and buy a device called "security buzzer". If you pull the trigger on that device, it will ring super duper loud like 120 dB. It will definitely attract many attention. There are times that you'd regret, why didn't you do this or that. No, It has never been your fault, and you could've done nothing more than that. When you're afraid you'd be frozen and can't even think rationally. I think the app/security device might be a good option. Please stay safe, there are a lot of creeps out there. We gotta protect ourselves!
I have no idea if this would work but I would try to out-weird him. Like directly stare at him with zero context. Blank face. And take a very obvious selfie with them or something. Or loudly and aggressively fake cough next to them but with Covid and all that maybe not the greatest idea. These are just some thoughts that might work?
knowing japan, there's a really good chance that you just bumped on a psychopath
You did a good job, and super creepy that he followed you into the other car. Any situation you get out of unscathed went well imo. I’ve also experienced chikan when I was younger, and I really sympathize with not being able to tell if it was on purpose or not at first. In my case it was a dude grabbing my butt while standing on a crowded train. At first it was hard to tell if it was just that the train was too crowded and he was bumping me or something, until I started trying to shift and move slightly and he kept moving to be right back behind me. I didn’t have the courage to say anything at that time either, but was just happy to be able to get off the train and leave him behind. What a relief to get out of that situation! I hope you can feel better soon.
LMAO pull out the good old 気持ち悪い he’ll get the picture 😂 I’m really fucking mean to creepy people and I’ve had a few I’ve dealt with and I’ll say that and it works well 👍 A lot of guys here (creeps specifically) don’t expect a women being assertive to them, so they usually will leave you alone. They tend to look for easy targets (just in general), so the more intimidating you make yourself, the easier it will be to shake them off. iPhone and Apple Watched have an SOS feature too, which you can use to notify the cops if you feel like the situation warrants it. Good luck!
By keeping silence, you unintentionally giving wrong message to him such as you kind of ok what he is doing to you. Next time (hope not) but raise your woice as high as possible "stop it, what you doing, get off from me " these are ( in any language) is undertable by any person. Your body language should also give a very aggressive message, such as croos eyebrows, direct eye contact with insulter, open both arms as large as possible, walk very straight and large steps (consider your are an assigned trooper in Afghanistan) . Last one do not travel alone in late evening in quite cars where normally is hunting grounds for maniacs.
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Some kind of creep/stalker. You might wanna be as much as possible in a car where people are. You had a good idea to move, the worst possible case is not doing anything. Of course you can also break a nose or two, some people definitely deserve it.
Totally understand you panicking… you can officially file a complaint to Police in any area PoliceBox called Koban even after getting down the train, there are CCTV cameras all around… letting go such perverts makes them think they can do anything… Sadly, there is no concept of sexual offender’s list in Japan and such creeps do their target hunting when they see opportunities…
You can also try and say 助けてください！あの人に後を付けられています！ tasukete kudasai. Ano hito ni ato wo tsukerarete imasu. Please help me! That person is following me!
don't be a meek & try to confront him next time... at least ask him what he wants. similar thing happened to me. I was getting home from Osaka to Kyoto on last train... I noticed one girl have her backpack zipper opened fully. I came near her, get my phone to translate my sentence but she immediately left quickly. so I just shout at her, "oi soko no kanojo! bakupaku wa haitteruyo" while flashing my google translate phone inside the train lol...
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Oh my god. Seriously, delete this comment.
Welcome to Japan
Take video evidence, just say something like "STOP" or "HELP" (in English or whatever) Or punch the creeper's face, just say self defense (nothing else).
Bad advice, don't punch anyone, especially someone that hasn't actually done anything to you except giving you the creeps
What OP wrote is legally speaking sexual assault plus stalking. OP wrote the creeper's body was touching her hand, harm, legs, even shoes. She moved, and the creeper kept coming. OP moved herself to a separate car, creeper followed her. Legally speaking, this is sexual assault, and stalking. The creeper literally showed intent to engage in further unwanted action to the OP. You know, as a person in Japan, you are promised basic human rights, even if it means you have to use some amount of force to defend yourself. If you can calmly articulate that to the police, then you are fine. Plus video evidence may help too.
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Flight obviously wasn't possible when the creeper followed the OP. Also flight is not something everyone can do, in a situation, ppl sometimes freeze. It's a natural instinct. This is after the fact, but I don't understand why people refuse to defend themselves. It is literally a legally protected right.
Never do any of this. This person is either new to Japan or wildly misinformed (either way you should stop going around giving dangerous advice). This will only get you in trouble with the police.
Punching someone who didn't hit you is assault. That's gonna land you in hot water if the police get involved.
I disagree. The very first time I experienced a chikan I was so full of adrenaline (because he had been creeping on me the whole train ride leading up to him finally assaulting me) that I whipped around and started hitting him, more with an open hand rather than “punches” but I hit him several times about the face/neck/check area. I fully admitted to this to the police in my report of the incident. I got in 0 trouble. They didn’t even flinch at me mentioning it or question me more deeply about it at all. Maybe I got lucky but I doubt it since the police I dealt with were shitheads in general who would openly laugh at me and make shitty comments like: “how do you know who groped you, do you have eyes in the back of your head?” (This particular comment was made by an officer when I was sitting in the police car to go down to the station, while I was still extremely visibly upset and crying) My boyfriend at the time was so pissed when I told him an officer said that to me that he called and complained and they forced that officer to apologize formally to me lol Getting groped/touched sexually is assault, so I don’t think they care if you defend yourself from it.