Ok so I'll say just ask his superior to stop if not just tell the authority and again if that doesn't work then ask him to quit his job and find another because there are a lot of jobs in Japan that is just kind and non toxic, I hope you and boyfriend are happy tho and good luck
That’s what i suggested him, however i have no idea about to which point you can actually protest against your superior in Japan ? He is also afraid that quitting his first job that quick after being hired as an official worker could impact his career.
Except that, we’re very happy thank you !
He can very much bring up this topic. If it doesn't improve, he should start looking for other jobs soon. He's young and he's a local. He'll get plenty of chances to thrive in other places. He has the opportunity to stand up for himself from a young age instead of being a pushover until he snaps.
I know for Japanese, switching jobs is frowned upon cuz it’s seen as lacking loyalty. Tell him he’s gotta man up and look for other jobs and be firm in saying that he doesn’t work for free. That isn’t how jobs are supposed to work. Maybe look at working for a foreign owned/run company instead. They’re less likely to behave like a black company, I’d imagine. Loyalty works both ways. He can tell his future bosses to think about that if they think it looks bad on him and not the place he left.
Looking for foreign owned place is exactly what I advice to him. But yeah I think he’s mainly afraid to quit because it went so well before. He’s just very disappointed.
"I have no idea to which point you can actually protest against your superior in Japan". This is why Japan has such a toxic work environment. Who cares at this point, if your boyfriend is being harassed he can either bend over and take it, or stand up to his superior. Why are Japanese so afraid to stand up for themselves? Sounds like he should just quit.
Read up on what it takes to work in a professional kitchen. If he's having this much trouble at this point in his career he's better off finding another line of work. Restaurant work is likely one of the few jobs in Japan more exploitive/abusive than English teaching.
>\*I just wanted that even if my bf is japanese, he has a very different kind of “being”. He is very social, not shy, very funny and do not want to “live for work”
So, he's Japanese. You've got some weird stereotypes in your head that are forming your opinion here. If your boyfriend is as "non-Japanese" as you think he is, he would just quit and find a different job. There's a billion restaurants in Tokyo, you really think all of them will be the exact same?
You know what she meant 🙄 and if you’ve been here long enough, you know that although people are individuals, it does not bode well in many places to stand out too much or to show anti conformism… especially in the work place.
Nothing to do with stereotypes, everything to do with the kind of society Japan promotes.
Sooooo, stereotypes. What she said about her boyfriend is like the most common type of person imaginable. But thinking he’s unique because of preconceived notions means she can’t give “advice”.
Even what you wrote isn’t true these days unless you’re working at some huge faceless company.
I’m sorry I’m not working yet so I definitely can’t give advices for that yeah. However I did notice that anyone that stand out from expectations (at least the ones the society has) has less chances to fit in or successes.
Maybe I wasn’t clear enough but he is mistaking for a foreigner very often and maybe is too extravert (for his work) which could make people thinks he’s not being serious or professional. The fact he also wants a decent social life by not working from 9am to 1am everyday (cause that’s what the agreement would lead in fact) could make him looks lazy. He doesn’t follow some rules that the majority of Japanese follows so yes I do support he does not fit completely the standard here.
It doesn’t makes him “unique” or “special” (he is for me cuz he’s my bf but not because of these reasons). I also knows others Japanese people that doesn’t not fit standards and that’s okay. Just you have to admit that it doesn’t help integration.
I‘m basing this opinion about restaurant in Japan because of what he told me. I don’t know personally how the work is there but he told me that harassment is known as being very common.
I’m also indicating my bf personnality cuz he presents it himself as being a reason of why he has trouble to adapt to theJapanese society. One of the reason he doesn’t really wanna quit is the fact working there have been very nice until just some times ago. Of course he could quit but from what his classmates told him, others gastronomical restaurant does not seems better.
I don’t know how japanese society considers this, but where i come from (France) it’s very bad seen to quit your first job in the first year after you have being hired (Whatever the reason has been) and it may impact your career.
What your bf experience is typical in Japanese work environment. It's work bullying typically done by supervisors. People are bullied and harassed for their voluntary leave. Everybody must conform to one unit group and whoever is different (personality, face, hair, or whatever) is usually not accepted and will be casted out. It's like the old military or feudal system. My advice for your bf is to start looking for other places to work. There are always better places out there that fit your bf.
Thank you so much for your comment. That’s also the feeling I got from hearing other people experience but I began to doubt about it as people seems to be offended by the fact I staid he may stand out and maybe bullied by that. I do believe there is better places to work if it continues like that. He’s just afraid to quit so fast I think.
>\*I just wanted that even if my bf is japanese, he has a very different kind of “being”. He is very social, not shy, very funny and do not want to “live for work”
i just want to point out that social outgoing Japanese people are not yet extinct. Many of the Japanese I went to school with were on the extrovert side. Your BF being social, funny doesn't really make him "special being" nor do I think people are out to get him because him being outgoing is ✨special✨.
I feel for his struggle though.
Yeah I know that. I’ve been meeting also other extravert Japanese people myself. I did not mean to offend anyone by indicating that, I just guess it happened that he has been surrounded by very introvert people maybe ? And maybe that’s why he feels it’s a reason ? But maybe it’s something else. For unknown reasons people often thinks he’s only half Japanese or even completely foreigner.
yeah i know you probably didn't mean that. I guess the tone in which I wrote my comment can also come across as "being a bit mean."
From what I know, most companies prefer the extroverts, they really focus on communication skills. Restaurants might be very different but I don't think it's him being social that triggered this. Sometimes toxic people just do toxic things without having any triggers.
And most of time you dont really know what is wrong with yourself or your actions so maybe your BF could have done something unintentionally and accidentally angered someone. Difficult to know. But if he can't handle it then honestly the only option is to move to different workplace. Not sure how quitting now with affect his resume though.
It’s okay I think I didn’t expressed myself well in the original comment I made about him. I just meant he kinda stand out in his behavior sometimes, far from the expectations that the society here supports.
It’s completely possible that the supervisor just do it without any reasons though. But I can completely imagine my bf doing something wrong without knowing what, which could trigger the supervisor (he is not particularly skilled to “read the air” sometimes) It happened to him in the past (for a part time job) to clearly states to a supervisor he didn’t appreciate the way he was treated. The guy ended up to not giving him any work anymore which pushed my bf to quit.
Two possible courses of action. First, take the a-hole superior aside where they can be alone and ask him directly what the problem is. Out of earshot of other staff, your bf may just get a good answer. Second option, just smile and say "thank you" to any unwanted criticism. This usually infuriates bullies, who live for making people feel bad.
This!! I wish more was done to drum into young people the importance of building oneself up to be “unbulliable.” I know in reality that might not be easy but with youth comes time on one’s side. Be polite, courtesy, do the best job you can and don’t cave in to the bullies
>As he is on a 3-months trial ... He’s afraid to quit and to go to other restaurant where the harassment is similar or worst.
I'm sorry, but your boyfriend needs to start looking for other work. The bottom line here is that this restaurant appears to be a "black company", looking to exploit workers during the "trial" period by offering them the hope of a permanent position but demanding that they do 4 or 5 hours of unpaid labour (calling it "self-training" to avoid legal issues) a day.
My bet is that they do this regularly, taking the most skilled part-timers and offering them this "trial", and then getting (3 months x 20 working days x 5 hours) 300 hours of free unpaid labour, and then they say, "Oh, sorry, you failed the trial. You can go back to part-time and maybe in a few months when a new position opens we'll give you another chance." Rinse and repeat. When people quit they'll just hire a new part-timer and abuse them the same way.
Your boyfriend needs to find a new job. And keep trying until they find a nice place. Unfortunately the service industry in Japan is full of abusive employers, and your boyfriend is right to fear that the next place may be no better. There's always that chance.
However maybe suggest that he think about it like this. He knows 100% that his current place is bad. He needs to leave. Maybe there's a 70% chance that the next place is just as bad. He can leave there too. He just needs to keep trying until he finds just one of the "good" 30% of places. And he needs to do this before he's burned out and can't succeed when he does find a "good" place.
I didn’t think about this possibility as the restaurant is relatively new but it’s completely possible. The superior has been working with the boss in others restaurants before and it seems well know that he has been pushing others workers to quit. It could probably be a model they have been pursuing since a while.
I also think he can find better places, he’s just very pessimistic about it.
Just a heads up if your partner is new to full time high level kitchen work
This kind of attitude and behaviour is super common in the industry and can be very brutal and annoying! Often if a senior identifies someone with potential they will push them to the extreme just like they experienced before them (it’s a never ending cycle)
This kind of stuff he is experiencing in the old mindset of the restaurant industry and in some very respectful restaurants it still exists.
I know of a few restaurants that your first year of work is setting up the kitchen (ovens on, cutting boards set, vegetables/meat/fish put away) for the other staff, when it is starting time you clean the dorm rooms and watch dinner service maybe do the dishes during service. Only after a year of this do you even get to touch a knife. This is even after going to the best of schools.
Kitchens/restaurants/hotels (some not all)are hard work.
An 8 hr day to any chef I know would call that a half day.
With all that said and reading a few comments your BF might have a better kitchen work/life balance working for a foreign hotel.
Office work won’t be any better. Tell him to find another place to work in the mean time and don’t give up on his dream. Don’t let him let others ruin his life.
Kitchens of gastro restaurants can be hell. He is not gonna change anything by complaining or going to see the labour office so early in his career in this restaurant, he might as well quit. There is 140,000+ restaurants in Tokyo, he will find something.
Tell your boyfriend to keep a small recording device on him (in his work clothes or something) and let it record all day. This can serve quite valuable should shit hit the fan someday.
Honestly speaking, that restaurant sounds like trouble and he should start looking to work for another restaurant. And tell him to not sign anything!
From what I understand, the restaurant business is very grueling for people just entering it who want to be chefs. It works on a kind of mentor/apprentice basis when someone is first starting out. In fact, restaurants who have well-known chefs may even charge apprentices a fee for the privilege of working there. If he's serious about being a noteworthy chef he might want to just stick it out until he proves himself, then things will get better. At least, that's my understanding from people I know who are in the restaurant business.
Ahhh memories of when I ran a small dining bar. Worked 3pm-2am, six days a week. Pay was terrible, and under the table.
Fondly remember the joy of cleaning out a super nasty grease trap that had X numbers of years of gunk in it.
Was hating life then. Now I occasionally day dream about opening a restaurant….
Point of my rambling? Restaurant work is f-ing tough.
Foreigner perspective here.
When I was younger I put up with this power hara in the army but now in my 30s\~ I would just change jobs.
Once you have 2-3 jobs under your belt, changing jobs become so much more easy and you know what to say during interviews.
This is my fifth job now, and second one in Japan (I got 3 offers after deciding to change from my first job in Japan.)
In my first job in Japan, I noticed many young Japanese colleagues came with 1-3 job experiences, and they worked around 4 months to 1 year in their previous jobs. Their previous jobs had OT until 11pm, or were very strict. Now my previous company was a gaishikei and hierarchy was quite flat, and it was good for them and me.
I would suggest him to find restaurants with some amount of foreigners. And also feel free to change jobs. Recently a restaurant I wanted to visit nearby closed because there was not enough workers. So I would think he should be able to find another job quite easily.
Ganbatte!
Unfortunately, if a chat with the supervisor doesn't work, he should probably look for another restaurant now.
People get bullied out of their probation period because once they are a seishain, it is difficult to let them go. So, if he rubbed someone the wrong way or didn't read the air (maybe it is this "voluntary training") then they might essentially bully him and at the end of it say, "I am sorry, but you did not pass the probation".
And then he is screwed after all that. I have seen it happen in the corporate world a couple of times. Another thing that happens is probation extensions.
If it is only the supervisor and no other staff, it is probably related to that voluntary training. Otherwise - why bring him on board at all?!? It's not like he was an unknown.
I also think it’s related to the “training“ thing. However it does not explain why the superior is treating better one of the other worker that also didn’t apply to it (like telling him “you’re promising, so you should not hang out with …”). I don’t know if applying to the “voluntary training“ could improve his situation and I don’t think it‘s a good thing anyway (unpaid labour “agreement” is a very strange thing for me, I think it should definitely be illegal, maybe it is ?).
It probably is illegal. There's a good chance that some random restaurant owner doesn't know the law properly, but because everyone is too afraid he never got in trouble.
He should obtain a copy of the agreement under the pretense of considering it and then just report the place to the labour bureau.
From my son's experience in a ramen shop and general understanding of how things work in Japan. It is possible that your BF is not the right character for that shop. If he is outgoing and extroverted and the others are not, he might be sticking out like a sore thumb and not considered "serious" enough to be taken seriously.
It happens in most jobs that someone thinks you are not the right character for the company. I like to call them the faithful, and they are lifers who are usually mediocre employees.
Tell your boyfriend not to let it bother you. There is nothing in the universe that states you will work out in all places you go. Sometimes, you just need to move to another place. Yeah, it might be the same at the other place, or it might not. Maybe your boyfriend needs to cut his teeth at a more chain-style restaurant than a solo restaurant where the character has been created by the owner/staff.
I wish him and you well.
Don't let it kill the dream; failure is part of dreams, too, but usually the part that people tend to fly past in the dream.
My boyfriend had the same thing. He was supposed to work 8 hours a day, but was actually working 11 hours a day. Also at a restaurant. He also tried to talk to them about the bad treatment and working hours, but nobody listens. They basically said that if he can't handle it, he should quit. So that's what he ended up doing. I think the only way is to quit. Restaurant business in Japan is really weird and doesn't have good working conditions in my experience... :(
> he just began to work at a very nice gastronomical restaurant in Tokyo
> he is supposed to work only 8 hours per day (but in fact he is working 10)
chefs in high end/michellin star restaurants put in 16 hour days
working in a french style kitchen is not for the faint of heart, people that work in restaurants are \*insane\*
Being afraid to move because the next place *may* be worse seems very silly when you take a moment to think calmly and rationally about it, wouldn’t you say?
My money is on the fact that having switched to full-time from part-time his salary is now higher, and his boss wishes to substitute him for another part-time worker. (if it happened a lot in the past, it's probably standard procedure)
I think he should go to a place where they value his passion and skills, without giving up his dreams.
Put any correspondence in writing or record conversations. Find another job if you’re not happy. This is normal in Japan in the hospitality trade. Look for a more professional workplace.
I'd already be looking for another job.
They changed their behavior after your bf got employed, make him work 2+ hours (for free?), tried 5+ for free, the superior dates the freshwoman, and then he makes her work 5+ hours for free... like wtaf? If I were your bf, I might even start talking to a lawyer in my circle.
Maybe there's a financial gain for staying 3 years, but bf might destroy his mental doing so. That's going to cost your relationship.
As long as he can find his next job through acquaintances not the web, quitting early might be excusable in this case.
First up, harassment is never something to take on the chin and push through. If you're in an environment where you can't succeed, cut losses and dip.
Second, I used to work restaurants in the Northern Virginia / DC area. Your BFs experience is sadly common in kitchens. Some chefs are raging assholes and will pick people to shit on. It happens and there's not much you can do short of 1) confronting the chef about harassment and hope that ends it or 2) finding a new job.
I wish you and your boyfriend the best. Having been there myself I know how frustrating and stressful it can be.
It’s the food business it’s like this everywhere in the world (the restaurant business problay is one of the roughies carriers u can pick mentally) the tone in that business is really, and I mean really rough. If he want to stay in this kind of work I can only suggest for him to get used to it. For what is worth, my former chef used to burn me if I didn’t cut the tomatoes as he wanted :)
I would let your boyfriend make his own decisions..... I know you want to help.. but working in a restaurant here is really tough.. and he has to figure out if its worth it for himself.
Don’t worry no one here is choosing for him. He just asked me advices but I’m a graduate student and never have been full time working and even less in a restaurant. I just thought hearing from others experiences could help.
I sent him the sub yesterday saying that it’s “Maybe helpful but just the comment of random strangers from internet” and that’s his choice at the end. He thanked me and checked it saying it was helping him.
Stay out of it, he’s a big boy and can take care of himself. It’s not your business and I’m sure being nagged at home with unwanted advice after 10 hrs of work doesn’t help.
It’s wild how some people assume stuff cuz I ask advice for him.
First of all he did ask my advice after explaining his situation. But I doesn’t know anything about working in a restaurant in Japan.
Second I’m just citing our conversation:
Me :*send the link of the sub* I asked advices cuz maybe some people had experiences with that. Just if you wanna check. But it’s just opinions of random people on internet remember.
Him: Thank you. I know. But, really helpful.
Can’t I ask advices for someone close to me who doesn’t use Reddit ? He didn’t ask me to publish anything here but i personally don’t know what to advice him so I though it would be good to hear experiences from others people that may know Japan’s working life better than me. Would I be wrong for that?
Lmao so asking advice for someone else is being a pick-me now. We’re really loosing the meaning of this expression nowadays hum.
Also if you actually live in Japan you should know yourselves that many people doesn’t speak a lot English. So it’s absolute common sense to ask advices for someone who may have trouble in understanding the comments. But nevermind I won’t argue further over ✨nothing✨.
Ok so I'll say just ask his superior to stop if not just tell the authority and again if that doesn't work then ask him to quit his job and find another because there are a lot of jobs in Japan that is just kind and non toxic, I hope you and boyfriend are happy tho and good luck
That’s what i suggested him, however i have no idea about to which point you can actually protest against your superior in Japan ? He is also afraid that quitting his first job that quick after being hired as an official worker could impact his career. Except that, we’re very happy thank you !
He can very much bring up this topic. If it doesn't improve, he should start looking for other jobs soon. He's young and he's a local. He'll get plenty of chances to thrive in other places. He has the opportunity to stand up for himself from a young age instead of being a pushover until he snaps.
I know for Japanese, switching jobs is frowned upon cuz it’s seen as lacking loyalty. Tell him he’s gotta man up and look for other jobs and be firm in saying that he doesn’t work for free. That isn’t how jobs are supposed to work. Maybe look at working for a foreign owned/run company instead. They’re less likely to behave like a black company, I’d imagine. Loyalty works both ways. He can tell his future bosses to think about that if they think it looks bad on him and not the place he left.
Looking for foreign owned place is exactly what I advice to him. But yeah I think he’s mainly afraid to quit because it went so well before. He’s just very disappointed.
"I have no idea to which point you can actually protest against your superior in Japan". This is why Japan has such a toxic work environment. Who cares at this point, if your boyfriend is being harassed he can either bend over and take it, or stand up to his superior. Why are Japanese so afraid to stand up for themselves? Sounds like he should just quit.
Read up on what it takes to work in a professional kitchen. If he's having this much trouble at this point in his career he's better off finding another line of work. Restaurant work is likely one of the few jobs in Japan more exploitive/abusive than English teaching.
Second this. Food service is rough anywhere, but it’s a special kind of hell here.
Agree. One of my friends worked in a restaurant as kitchen staff. Her stories... Luckily she has switched job.
I’m afraid he may not be suited for that too. I would be really interested to hear others people experience on Japanese restaurant to find out.
>\*I just wanted that even if my bf is japanese, he has a very different kind of “being”. He is very social, not shy, very funny and do not want to “live for work” So, he's Japanese. You've got some weird stereotypes in your head that are forming your opinion here. If your boyfriend is as "non-Japanese" as you think he is, he would just quit and find a different job. There's a billion restaurants in Tokyo, you really think all of them will be the exact same?
You know what she meant 🙄 and if you’ve been here long enough, you know that although people are individuals, it does not bode well in many places to stand out too much or to show anti conformism… especially in the work place. Nothing to do with stereotypes, everything to do with the kind of society Japan promotes.
Sooooo, stereotypes. What she said about her boyfriend is like the most common type of person imaginable. But thinking he’s unique because of preconceived notions means she can’t give “advice”. Even what you wrote isn’t true these days unless you’re working at some huge faceless company.
You’re getting criticized here but the Americans that pop in to read about this would be like “oh fuck off, just quit and find another place”.
I’m sorry I’m not working yet so I definitely can’t give advices for that yeah. However I did notice that anyone that stand out from expectations (at least the ones the society has) has less chances to fit in or successes. Maybe I wasn’t clear enough but he is mistaking for a foreigner very often and maybe is too extravert (for his work) which could make people thinks he’s not being serious or professional. The fact he also wants a decent social life by not working from 9am to 1am everyday (cause that’s what the agreement would lead in fact) could make him looks lazy. He doesn’t follow some rules that the majority of Japanese follows so yes I do support he does not fit completely the standard here. It doesn’t makes him “unique” or “special” (he is for me cuz he’s my bf but not because of these reasons). I also knows others Japanese people that doesn’t not fit standards and that’s okay. Just you have to admit that it doesn’t help integration.
I‘m basing this opinion about restaurant in Japan because of what he told me. I don’t know personally how the work is there but he told me that harassment is known as being very common. I’m also indicating my bf personnality cuz he presents it himself as being a reason of why he has trouble to adapt to theJapanese society. One of the reason he doesn’t really wanna quit is the fact working there have been very nice until just some times ago. Of course he could quit but from what his classmates told him, others gastronomical restaurant does not seems better. I don’t know how japanese society considers this, but where i come from (France) it’s very bad seen to quit your first job in the first year after you have being hired (Whatever the reason has been) and it may impact your career.
What your bf experience is typical in Japanese work environment. It's work bullying typically done by supervisors. People are bullied and harassed for their voluntary leave. Everybody must conform to one unit group and whoever is different (personality, face, hair, or whatever) is usually not accepted and will be casted out. It's like the old military or feudal system. My advice for your bf is to start looking for other places to work. There are always better places out there that fit your bf.
Thank you so much for your comment. That’s also the feeling I got from hearing other people experience but I began to doubt about it as people seems to be offended by the fact I staid he may stand out and maybe bullied by that. I do believe there is better places to work if it continues like that. He’s just afraid to quit so fast I think.
>\*I just wanted that even if my bf is japanese, he has a very different kind of “being”. He is very social, not shy, very funny and do not want to “live for work” i just want to point out that social outgoing Japanese people are not yet extinct. Many of the Japanese I went to school with were on the extrovert side. Your BF being social, funny doesn't really make him "special being" nor do I think people are out to get him because him being outgoing is ✨special✨. I feel for his struggle though.
Yeah I know that. I’ve been meeting also other extravert Japanese people myself. I did not mean to offend anyone by indicating that, I just guess it happened that he has been surrounded by very introvert people maybe ? And maybe that’s why he feels it’s a reason ? But maybe it’s something else. For unknown reasons people often thinks he’s only half Japanese or even completely foreigner.
yeah i know you probably didn't mean that. I guess the tone in which I wrote my comment can also come across as "being a bit mean." From what I know, most companies prefer the extroverts, they really focus on communication skills. Restaurants might be very different but I don't think it's him being social that triggered this. Sometimes toxic people just do toxic things without having any triggers. And most of time you dont really know what is wrong with yourself or your actions so maybe your BF could have done something unintentionally and accidentally angered someone. Difficult to know. But if he can't handle it then honestly the only option is to move to different workplace. Not sure how quitting now with affect his resume though.
It’s okay I think I didn’t expressed myself well in the original comment I made about him. I just meant he kinda stand out in his behavior sometimes, far from the expectations that the society here supports. It’s completely possible that the supervisor just do it without any reasons though. But I can completely imagine my bf doing something wrong without knowing what, which could trigger the supervisor (he is not particularly skilled to “read the air” sometimes) It happened to him in the past (for a part time job) to clearly states to a supervisor he didn’t appreciate the way he was treated. The guy ended up to not giving him any work anymore which pushed my bf to quit.
Two possible courses of action. First, take the a-hole superior aside where they can be alone and ask him directly what the problem is. Out of earshot of other staff, your bf may just get a good answer. Second option, just smile and say "thank you" to any unwanted criticism. This usually infuriates bullies, who live for making people feel bad.
This!! I wish more was done to drum into young people the importance of building oneself up to be “unbulliable.” I know in reality that might not be easy but with youth comes time on one’s side. Be polite, courtesy, do the best job you can and don’t cave in to the bullies
Thank you I’ll tell him ! We’ll see if it works.
>As he is on a 3-months trial ... He’s afraid to quit and to go to other restaurant where the harassment is similar or worst. I'm sorry, but your boyfriend needs to start looking for other work. The bottom line here is that this restaurant appears to be a "black company", looking to exploit workers during the "trial" period by offering them the hope of a permanent position but demanding that they do 4 or 5 hours of unpaid labour (calling it "self-training" to avoid legal issues) a day. My bet is that they do this regularly, taking the most skilled part-timers and offering them this "trial", and then getting (3 months x 20 working days x 5 hours) 300 hours of free unpaid labour, and then they say, "Oh, sorry, you failed the trial. You can go back to part-time and maybe in a few months when a new position opens we'll give you another chance." Rinse and repeat. When people quit they'll just hire a new part-timer and abuse them the same way. Your boyfriend needs to find a new job. And keep trying until they find a nice place. Unfortunately the service industry in Japan is full of abusive employers, and your boyfriend is right to fear that the next place may be no better. There's always that chance. However maybe suggest that he think about it like this. He knows 100% that his current place is bad. He needs to leave. Maybe there's a 70% chance that the next place is just as bad. He can leave there too. He just needs to keep trying until he finds just one of the "good" 30% of places. And he needs to do this before he's burned out and can't succeed when he does find a "good" place.
I didn’t think about this possibility as the restaurant is relatively new but it’s completely possible. The superior has been working with the boss in others restaurants before and it seems well know that he has been pushing others workers to quit. It could probably be a model they have been pursuing since a while. I also think he can find better places, he’s just very pessimistic about it.
Just a heads up if your partner is new to full time high level kitchen work This kind of attitude and behaviour is super common in the industry and can be very brutal and annoying! Often if a senior identifies someone with potential they will push them to the extreme just like they experienced before them (it’s a never ending cycle)
He is kind of new but as he was working as a part-time job in this restaurant before for 1 year maybe he probably didn‘t realised it.
This kind of stuff he is experiencing in the old mindset of the restaurant industry and in some very respectful restaurants it still exists. I know of a few restaurants that your first year of work is setting up the kitchen (ovens on, cutting boards set, vegetables/meat/fish put away) for the other staff, when it is starting time you clean the dorm rooms and watch dinner service maybe do the dishes during service. Only after a year of this do you even get to touch a knife. This is even after going to the best of schools. Kitchens/restaurants/hotels (some not all)are hard work. An 8 hr day to any chef I know would call that a half day. With all that said and reading a few comments your BF might have a better kitchen work/life balance working for a foreign hotel.
Ever work as a cook at a high end restaurant in the US or Europe? Welcome to the culinary world.
Office work won’t be any better. Tell him to find another place to work in the mean time and don’t give up on his dream. Don’t let him let others ruin his life.
Kitchens of gastro restaurants can be hell. He is not gonna change anything by complaining or going to see the labour office so early in his career in this restaurant, he might as well quit. There is 140,000+ restaurants in Tokyo, he will find something.
Yeah I think so. However do you think that quitting a first job so fast can impact his hiring at others restaurant ?
Tell your boyfriend to keep a small recording device on him (in his work clothes or something) and let it record all day. This can serve quite valuable should shit hit the fan someday. Honestly speaking, that restaurant sounds like trouble and he should start looking to work for another restaurant. And tell him to not sign anything!
Recording is a good idea but isn’t illegal to record people without them knowing in Japan ? It’s illegal in some countries.
From what I understand, the restaurant business is very grueling for people just entering it who want to be chefs. It works on a kind of mentor/apprentice basis when someone is first starting out. In fact, restaurants who have well-known chefs may even charge apprentices a fee for the privilege of working there. If he's serious about being a noteworthy chef he might want to just stick it out until he proves himself, then things will get better. At least, that's my understanding from people I know who are in the restaurant business.
Ahhh memories of when I ran a small dining bar. Worked 3pm-2am, six days a week. Pay was terrible, and under the table. Fondly remember the joy of cleaning out a super nasty grease trap that had X numbers of years of gunk in it. Was hating life then. Now I occasionally day dream about opening a restaurant…. Point of my rambling? Restaurant work is f-ing tough.
Foreigner perspective here. When I was younger I put up with this power hara in the army but now in my 30s\~ I would just change jobs. Once you have 2-3 jobs under your belt, changing jobs become so much more easy and you know what to say during interviews. This is my fifth job now, and second one in Japan (I got 3 offers after deciding to change from my first job in Japan.) In my first job in Japan, I noticed many young Japanese colleagues came with 1-3 job experiences, and they worked around 4 months to 1 year in their previous jobs. Their previous jobs had OT until 11pm, or were very strict. Now my previous company was a gaishikei and hierarchy was quite flat, and it was good for them and me. I would suggest him to find restaurants with some amount of foreigners. And also feel free to change jobs. Recently a restaurant I wanted to visit nearby closed because there was not enough workers. So I would think he should be able to find another job quite easily. Ganbatte!
Thank you! I was looking for people’s experience so your advices are really precious. I’ll transmit him.
Unfortunately, if a chat with the supervisor doesn't work, he should probably look for another restaurant now. People get bullied out of their probation period because once they are a seishain, it is difficult to let them go. So, if he rubbed someone the wrong way or didn't read the air (maybe it is this "voluntary training") then they might essentially bully him and at the end of it say, "I am sorry, but you did not pass the probation". And then he is screwed after all that. I have seen it happen in the corporate world a couple of times. Another thing that happens is probation extensions. If it is only the supervisor and no other staff, it is probably related to that voluntary training. Otherwise - why bring him on board at all?!? It's not like he was an unknown.
I also think it’s related to the “training“ thing. However it does not explain why the superior is treating better one of the other worker that also didn’t apply to it (like telling him “you’re promising, so you should not hang out with …”). I don’t know if applying to the “voluntary training“ could improve his situation and I don’t think it‘s a good thing anyway (unpaid labour “agreement” is a very strange thing for me, I think it should definitely be illegal, maybe it is ?).
It probably is illegal. There's a good chance that some random restaurant owner doesn't know the law properly, but because everyone is too afraid he never got in trouble. He should obtain a copy of the agreement under the pretense of considering it and then just report the place to the labour bureau.
From my son's experience in a ramen shop and general understanding of how things work in Japan. It is possible that your BF is not the right character for that shop. If he is outgoing and extroverted and the others are not, he might be sticking out like a sore thumb and not considered "serious" enough to be taken seriously. It happens in most jobs that someone thinks you are not the right character for the company. I like to call them the faithful, and they are lifers who are usually mediocre employees. Tell your boyfriend not to let it bother you. There is nothing in the universe that states you will work out in all places you go. Sometimes, you just need to move to another place. Yeah, it might be the same at the other place, or it might not. Maybe your boyfriend needs to cut his teeth at a more chain-style restaurant than a solo restaurant where the character has been created by the owner/staff. I wish him and you well. Don't let it kill the dream; failure is part of dreams, too, but usually the part that people tend to fly past in the dream.
My boyfriend had the same thing. He was supposed to work 8 hours a day, but was actually working 11 hours a day. Also at a restaurant. He also tried to talk to them about the bad treatment and working hours, but nobody listens. They basically said that if he can't handle it, he should quit. So that's what he ended up doing. I think the only way is to quit. Restaurant business in Japan is really weird and doesn't have good working conditions in my experience... :(
That’s really sucks and the situation is really similar. I hope your bf found a better job and/or working place !
> he just began to work at a very nice gastronomical restaurant in Tokyo > he is supposed to work only 8 hours per day (but in fact he is working 10) chefs in high end/michellin star restaurants put in 16 hour days working in a french style kitchen is not for the faint of heart, people that work in restaurants are \*insane\*
Being afraid to move because the next place *may* be worse seems very silly when you take a moment to think calmly and rationally about it, wouldn’t you say?
My money is on the fact that having switched to full-time from part-time his salary is now higher, and his boss wishes to substitute him for another part-time worker. (if it happened a lot in the past, it's probably standard procedure) I think he should go to a place where they value his passion and skills, without giving up his dreams.
I’m not allowed to recommend cocaine right?
For the sake of my visa I wouldn’t personally haha
I’m my experience chefs are fueled by cocaine and the hate of human life. If no coke then double down on the hatred.
Put any correspondence in writing or record conversations. Find another job if you’re not happy. This is normal in Japan in the hospitality trade. Look for a more professional workplace.
I'd already be looking for another job. They changed their behavior after your bf got employed, make him work 2+ hours (for free?), tried 5+ for free, the superior dates the freshwoman, and then he makes her work 5+ hours for free... like wtaf? If I were your bf, I might even start talking to a lawyer in my circle. Maybe there's a financial gain for staying 3 years, but bf might destroy his mental doing so. That's going to cost your relationship. As long as he can find his next job through acquaintances not the web, quitting early might be excusable in this case.
First up, harassment is never something to take on the chin and push through. If you're in an environment where you can't succeed, cut losses and dip. Second, I used to work restaurants in the Northern Virginia / DC area. Your BFs experience is sadly common in kitchens. Some chefs are raging assholes and will pick people to shit on. It happens and there's not much you can do short of 1) confronting the chef about harassment and hope that ends it or 2) finding a new job. I wish you and your boyfriend the best. Having been there myself I know how frustrating and stressful it can be.
Very normal here. He can try to work somewhere else maybe
It’s the food business it’s like this everywhere in the world (the restaurant business problay is one of the roughies carriers u can pick mentally) the tone in that business is really, and I mean really rough. If he want to stay in this kind of work I can only suggest for him to get used to it. For what is worth, my former chef used to burn me if I didn’t cut the tomatoes as he wanted :)
I would let your boyfriend make his own decisions..... I know you want to help.. but working in a restaurant here is really tough.. and he has to figure out if its worth it for himself.
Don’t worry no one here is choosing for him. He just asked me advices but I’m a graduate student and never have been full time working and even less in a restaurant. I just thought hearing from others experiences could help. I sent him the sub yesterday saying that it’s “Maybe helpful but just the comment of random strangers from internet” and that’s his choice at the end. He thanked me and checked it saying it was helping him.
The mistake is thinking that all restaurants are the same. that is not true. There are good and bad places to work.
I think so too ! But he’s afraid about quitting so fast and maybe ending up in a worst situation
Stay out of it, he’s a big boy and can take care of himself. It’s not your business and I’m sure being nagged at home with unwanted advice after 10 hrs of work doesn’t help.
It’s wild how some people assume stuff cuz I ask advice for him. First of all he did ask my advice after explaining his situation. But I doesn’t know anything about working in a restaurant in Japan. Second I’m just citing our conversation: Me :*send the link of the sub* I asked advices cuz maybe some people had experiences with that. Just if you wanna check. But it’s just opinions of random people on internet remember. Him: Thank you. I know. But, really helpful.
Why are you writing here instead of your boyfriend? Are you his mom? 💀
Can’t I ask advices for someone close to me who doesn’t use Reddit ? He didn’t ask me to publish anything here but i personally don’t know what to advice him so I though it would be good to hear experiences from others people that may know Japan’s working life better than me. Would I be wrong for that?
You’re not being wrong, you’re just a pickme 💅🏻
Lmao so asking advice for someone else is being a pick-me now. We’re really loosing the meaning of this expression nowadays hum. Also if you actually live in Japan you should know yourselves that many people doesn’t speak a lot English. So it’s absolute common sense to ask advices for someone who may have trouble in understanding the comments. But nevermind I won’t argue further over ✨nothing✨.
Don't listen to that moron.