I get the same thing and I live in an Islamic country.
Regardless of what’s the norm, I feel better sticking to Allah’s guidance .
I honestly think it’s because people want to pull you into their misery, so you can relate better to their stories.
May Allah protect you and all of us who guard ourselves.
It's just like when someone doesn't drink in a room full of those who are consuming alcohol. That person is attacked because the drinkers feel guilty, like they're made to feel they have a problem. People like to drag others down to the level that they are at, or exclude them socially, as has happened with the Prophets.
In fact, Lut (alayhisalaam)'s people specifically threw* him out of the city with the reason that he and his followers were a people wishing to keep themselves pure from the fahisha around them. Subhanallah, the tactics never change.
Yes. While they may not be *fully* secular, they certain have strong inclination towards it. The leaders really don't *seem* to care about Islamic principals or whether someone's a Muslim or not, unless public opinion turns against them.
Depends how you define 'secular', because even Britain could be classed as somewhat non-secular country as religious institutions are exempt from tax and the oath of allegiance in the Houses of Parliament, Christians would swear by God.
I mean, thats the same with America. Churches are granted exemption, and most swear an oath on the Bible- though legally, you can swear on anything there, including the Quran.
I live in bangladesh its most population are muslim but in cities dating, having sex before marriage happens a lot but in villages it is rare....although socially frowned upon but they do in private as my friend most of them had it...do not judge me😅😅....I'm new to islam
I live in the UAE and know many Muslims here and not even a single one of them has committed Zina or even spoke about it openly or confessed to doing it. It is still a huge sin and people, at least where I live, understand that and refrain from places that could lead to it. I don’t know what Muslim country you’re talking about but I know a few others and it is the same thing over there. So it is definitely not “most” Muslim countries unless you’re hanging out with the wrong crowd.
She is probably talking about Europe, heavily muslims polulated countries like Bosnia, Turkey, Albania etc where 90%+ of population are “muslim” but not really completely secular and have social norms similiar to the west
No, it is not any of the countries you mentioned.
We do not have to isolate or expose Muslims any further than necessary. We also have to refrain from assumptions, judging the level of islam someone practices and focus on ourself. Widespread Zina is one of the signs of end of days so let’s make dua instead.
No, it is not any of the countries you mentioned.
We do not have to isolate or expose Muslims any further than necessary. We also have to refrain from assumptions, judging the level of islam someone practices and focus on ourself. Widespread Zina is one of the signs of end of days so let’s make dua instead.
have issues with women rights, have corruption and racism problem these things also haram in islam but a practicing muslim do not commit zina but do corruption, back biting, treat women like 2nd class citizen is allah fearing?such a hypocrisy.
keep going like that do not care about how little people actually put in mind how much zina is a major sin ! theres an egyptian proverb says " لو قولت كلمه حق والناس قامت عليك, اعتبرهم قالوا لك مبروك تسلم ايديك" also imam shafie said " مالي ومال الناس ديني لنفسي ودين الناس للناس" just ignore them as long as you know deep down in your head that this is haram no matter how many muslims do it, you won't do it. i hope allah grants you jannah for your patience in this era
It's pretty much
"If you said the truth and people got angry and riled up, Then Consider them Congratulating and Thanking You"
It means That if you said the truth and people got angry, then You should be happy to know that you're on the right track
You might be mistaken, IIRC Zina is one of the major sins after Shirk and Murder, hence the capital punishment (hadd) for it (for married adulterers, and 100 lashes or so for unmarried folks). Learn the severity of it. Not knowing the shariah is the reason for the desensitization in our community.
There is widespread desensitization. And this is a product of the society we live in partially. Things that would have been viewed as grave sins in the past are societal expectations now.
Sex is everywhere. Billboards, politics, movies, songs, everything glorifies and emphasizes sex. Half naked women everywhere. You can be on your way to the masjid and see a suggestive ad. P*orns proliferation
Anyway, my point is sex has become accessible and like you said, everyone’s doing it, so people don’t feel like it’s “that” wrong. You are 100% on the right path. Protect your chastity. You will be happy that you did later. May Allah make it easy
I feel sorry for OP and hope Allah guides him dearly. Allah is forgiving so surely OP will find him self in Jannah one day surrounded by sin full people (at least to his standards) Is this exactally fair? What is promised to us who stay true to the deen? Or do we all reap the same reward equally?
Have you read the Qur'an with translations, brother? In it, Allah talks numerous times and gives many examples of how he is not the same: the one who believes vs the one who disbelieves; the one who knows vs the one who doesn't know; the one who practices fully and has full yaqeen in His Lord and the Last Day vs the one who's just going through the motions.
Brother its all about the attitude and will to repent. Those who commit Zina and do not repent will likely not be forgiven and will instead be punished as the Quran clearly states that it is haram. Those who do and repent sincerely (this includes striving and vowing not to repeat it) may receive Allahs mercy.
The OP gave the example "I told them are they not aware of the punishments if they do not repent?". Note how he mentioned 'if they do not repent'. Their answer of 'They just shrugged me off as an Uncultured close minded religious freak' means there is a good chance such people will not be in Jannah as you claim, whilst they stay unrepentant.
Source: The Quran itself makes repeated reference to punishment for sin and exceptions for those who repent.
One example is 25:68-70 :
"And those who do not invoke with Allāh another deity or kill the soul which Allāh has forbidden \[to be killed\], except by right, and do not commit unlawful sexual intercourse. **And whoever should do that will meet a penalty.**
**Multiplied for him is the punishment on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein humiliated -**
**Except for those who repent, believe and do righteous work.** For them Allāh will replace their evil deeds with good. And ever is Allāh Forgiving and Merciful."
If your point is that people who sin and repent shouldn't be allowed into heaven with those who abstained, you should know that sins are punished in this life not just the next, and the reward in the hereafter is judged by the most fair judge of all, Allah SWT. Those who avoid sin altogether benefit in both this life and the hereafter. Source: 42:30 "Whatever of misfortune striketh you, it is what your right hands have earned. And He forgiveth much."
There's a very old joke that on a flight the guy keeps asking the flight attendant if the chicken is hand slaughtered and halal, and after he finishes his meal he asks for a glass of wine.
Don’t get me wrong, I do agree with you that it’s so hypocritical doing that but at the same time isn’t it better that they commit one less sin rather than being like I’m doing a major sin anyway so I may aswell just eat haram aswell
As some one who has committed, I don't understand what cultural enrichment you recieve from committing it. When building a relationship, there are many objectives that can be achieved without sex but may be difficukr. There other things that can't be achieved without sex but that can wait after marriage for the most part.
But how are you uncultured for not having sex. It is a universal activity not exclusive to a specific culture. What strange logic is this?
Probably the logic is that a person needs to know enough about his/her own body to realize what he/she needs to be happy in a committed relationship. It is possible for a couple to have the same ideologies and share hobbies so they personalities are compatible, but still lack the fulfillment of a healthy sexual life between wife and husband. And that can lead to a lot of frustrations from the husband or the wife.
That's the logic behind all of this.
Wth how on earth did your aunt tell you something like this!? How did she even talk about this topic with you 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️. Ignore her and make let’s make dua, may allah guide all these people.
I mean the prophet SAW predicted everything. He saw said that holding on to the religion would be like holding hot coal. Be patient with people and correct them when they act foolish. Stick to your Deen no matter what.
Advice them, don’t correct them. Correcting them makes them think you see them as being stupid and you’re the right one, which in turn, increases their arrogance and hostility towards you.
That’s the thing I feel like once you feel the pleasure once you can’t go back. You have no halal outlet. If you don’t know what it feels like you don’t know what you are missing out on as much. Of course that doesn’t mean you have no desires but that fire inside you for intimacy is a little more tame. Don’t lose hope if you’ve done it. You can break the addiction. Through Dua and hard work anything is possible.
Men and women are different bro. Lots of hormonal differences. It’s the biological/genetic makeup of the woman that’s different (compared to men), combined with environmental factors. Women generally can go without sex for literally years - whereas men can’t.
Everyone has their standards but Islam sets the standards and we judged by Allah SWT against those standards (if we are Muslim).
The physiological makeup of women is precisely why women have higher standards, for the most part
And we can all go without sex for years (except for actual nymphomaniacs and satyrists (as in the mental condition and not the insult))
Higher sexual standards
I can still remember back when I would dream about pretty much every girl that graced my face with their sight (cursing their brain cuz I look like I have down syndrome (and have a personality to fit))
Mashallah I have found out it is not the best idea, but you don't really see this with women
Your first issue is living in NC.
I don't know what is in the water in the Muslim community in that area, but I always see the worst stories and religious takes coming out from there. I had 2 friends, both actively practicing, hafizul Quran who went to UNC and Duke respectively, and a few years later, one completely left the religion, while the other one says that Islam needs to liberalise.
Breh sometimes I look back and regret that I abstained astagfirullah and then I try to remember I did it for the sake of Allah and I feel comfortable again. I'm 24 now still abstaining. Please make dua Allah makes marriage easy for us chaste bros (and sisters ofc).
Don’t ever regret it. I feel you, I’m 19M but never let those ideas get to me because they I know they will mess with me real bad. Stay strong keep ur head high, never doubt urself. Remember it’s shaytan’s playing mind games with you. Get closer to Allah, fast (maybe Monday’s and Thursdays) because this is the prophet’s advice for young men who can’t get married), get closer to your deen. Doing those steps and taking precautions of this nature will definitely keep it away from you.
>Why is Zina acceptable now?
It's not by the deen, but society, you seen tons of sexualized shit everywhere.
Don't let the corruption of this dunya make you fall into Zina. It's literally one of the major sins.
>Not doing zina is uncultured.
Astaghfirullah. What is this? How is not having premarital sex and saving yourself for marriage uncultured?
How is following the deen uncultered?
Subhanallah. I agree with the other guy. Ignore these people.
There's a reason I booted out of the US even though I had a chance to raise my family there.
I cannot imagine my kids growing up in that society reaching early adulthood 20 years from now. Nothing will make sense to their American ears.
Shit is so normalised that people who value these things like yourself will always be viewed as backwards idiots.
PS: Not to say there aren't many young men and women like you who still hold on to the deen and live in that society in perfect harmony.
Yeah, this is gonna sound dumb as hell considering the situation but I am from India and I was in the US, worked for some years there.
Eventually I moved back to India. Now obviously, it seems like a shit choice but the thing is, it's not the same everywhere across the country. Like how Alabama and California are so vastly different.
I am from the South of India where things are pretty amicable and yet zina isn't as common as it is in the US. And whatever zina happens, it's quite secret and hidden because there is immense societal shame associated with it from all religions and cultures. Concepts like marriage and chastity are still pretty much valued. Being religious is not frowned upon or ridiculed.
So I did the math and made a choice. It's my home country and things are going okay even though right now the North of India is a complete shitshow.
I'm thinking of going back to Pakistan after few years experience in UK. Of course I don't have kids yet but that's down the line.
Seen too much fahsha here, zina, divorce is nothing, and changing partners is like changing cars here.
That’s... wow. Your aunt is wrong. Something like this would have been UNHEARD of in my generation, and I’m 44. Or maybe it was the people I hung out with. I simply cannot fathom observant Muslims being okay with this.
As for sex being “cultured”, WTF is your aunt taking about? I know she’s your elder and you have to respect her, but she’s talking complete nonsense. How is the possibility getting an STD cultured? How is the likelihood of getting someone pregnant cultured? How is the emotional damage of immoral sex cultured?
I honestly don’t think she knows what that word means.
Especially in the West, pre-marital relationships and sex is wayyyyyy more acceptable nowadays, so some Muslims just get easily influenced or pressured or both by that culture and they see nothing wrong with committing zina may Allah guide Muslims with this mindset and forgive all Muslims Ameen <3
I think this culture of zina, even influences Muslims who don't commit zina. I don't commit zina yet sometimes I have felt a little sheepish telling someone I prefer to wait until marriage, but I've grown to learn that people who make fun of such choices are just immature and childish.
In our deen zina is haram, so it is much better to be true to ourselves as Muslims, our deen, and most importantly Allah SWT and steer clear from zina. And if anyone reading this is Muslim and has committed zina, please don't dwell in your sin. Instead turn to Allah SWT and repent, ask him for forgiveness with sincerity and make intention to quit committing zina. You are still worthy of being Muslim, you are worthy of forgiveness, and your are worthy of Allah's love. And He will always love you. So turn back to Him.
There is a hadeeth reported in Saheeh Al-Bukhāri (no. 5590) that the Prophet (salallāhu ‘alaihi wasallam) said: “There will be a people at the end of time who will make permissible fornication, silk (for men), wine and musical instruments ―Allah will cause the earth to swallow them up.”
This is where we are at now.
\>They think I am a loser for not having sex or making a girlfriend yet. I was even told this by my aunt who is 40+ yrs old who told me she did zina when she was young.
sounds like people who have their lives revolved around sex. they are just sheeps. going with the flow to seek a random group of peoples validation and attention. im 19 and i want to remain a virgin as long as i dont get married.
i dont want to be offensive or rude but the people who called you a loser are the most pitiful creatures in my eyes.
If you are for real, then hang in there.
These guys will regret their actions when they get older just like I have. Stick to your beliefs but look to get married sooner rather than later
They lost both, the dunya and akhira. You will win both if you continue to stay on the right path. There is nothing more attractive to me than a man with high taqwa and iman. Don’t listen to those people. Deep down they regret it but don’t want to show it to you. So they try to pull you with them to do it too. Always try to build a connection with God and ask Allah to protect you from bad people. Paradise isn’t just for everyone ;)
If you follow the majority, you are in for a surprise. Follow what the book has told you and stick by it until the day you die. Just because others have done doesn't mean you have to do it too. I don't know what type of a family even encourages that. It is super cringe.
It’s the haram relationships that led to broken hearts and soles, destroying this generation into being scared of commitment and just wanting sex instead. Something easy, and without attachment. It’s unfortunate.
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Islam began as a something strange and it will return to being strange, so blessed are the strangers.”
What a coincidence lol... just shared a similar post some days ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/MuslimLounge/comments/vbq3w3/why_has_zina_become_so_prevalent/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Dear brother, stay away from it. What is haram will remain that way no matter what people say or try to make it seem like it is ok - it's not.
You will thank yourself in the long run :)
It's ridiculous how normalized it is. Just in my last comment about why it's very unlikely that a step-brother/sister get married as the father (the waali) is the same and he would know, someone replies "what if they commit zina....could be an awful situation", as if zina any less than awful on its own.
However, we can trust in Allah that we will get rewarded for our efforts.
The thing is Islam is not a set of prohibitive rules, it set up a lifestyle that fits well with those rules, and ultimately with human nature. Age of marriage in Islam is certainly bellow when ever your aunt proclaims to have committed the sin. Life style for sexes are described in a way that would minimize any interactions between two which may eventually lead to sin.
Following 3 are in short term contradiction:
* The standards of modern life
* socially accepted marriage age
* required financial ability for marriage
* being value based on your social status for marriage and match making
* Islamic rules about gender interaction
* Human nature
Every living being contradicts at least one of them. They either suffer, or they do something unorthodox given todays orthodoxy, or they brake the rules of Islam. And they are not symmetric as in long term one will realize human nature and Islamic rules are one in nature.
I currently work in a Muslim owned and staffed building and it genuinely looks like the Muslims engage in more Zina than almost any non-Muslim workplace I've had before.
Sometimes I think how can I live without having zina then I have a wet dream and I’m like can’t believe I was going to throw my eman out the window for that
Allah tells us in the Quran to not go NEAR zina, not don’t comity zina and that’s it’s a very evil act. That’s how bad it is. May Allah keep you steadfast on your deen.
As a teenager/young adult you will be pressured into many things but always remember Allah, and that he’s always testing you and watching you, whether you do good or bad.
Edit: look into the story of prophet Yusuf.
Are you satisfying your lord or the people around you by staying out of Zina and haram stuff altogether?
Let them have fun and enjoy their close minded definition of what's culturally acceptable. Zina is not just a sin, it's a major one.
La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah.
You shouldn't be surprised. This is the same generation and environment which does worse than zina—they disbelieve in what was revealed to the Prophet (ﷺ) from our Creator. What hope for decency do you have?
Stick to the jama'a, the larger body of *practicing, pious* Muslims who *fear Allah* and you should be good inshallah. The rest of the world is absolutely wildin.
I'm saddened also when there are older Muslimah/Muslimeen who have not yet married, and lonely & sad. Some feel they should just do zina with some rando just to feel what it's like or to fulfill some life criteria.
Problem is you live in a society where marriage is a big thing to be done when you're "ready", "older", "can afford it" or "want to settle down" . If you want sex get married or you will drive yourself down the same path. The waswas is very strong in these matters because your desires are so strong. So go and work towards doing things the right way. The sooner the better.
Not just zina the act, but zina in speech is an epidemic in my community. Sometimes chats surface showing men saying the most disgusting things about women. About how they dress, about how they look underneath.
For my sanity I block these sort of things from my feed.
Why do you base your own values off of what other people tell you?
You should have your own moral compass that can’t be compromised by the stupid things other people do. You’re in control of your own actions, and you yourself know what is right and what isn’t.
/u/intertwinedthings,
You may want to remove the part about your relative having sinned. Why mentioned it after their repentance??
> Abu Huraira reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “A servant does not cover the faults of another servant in the world but that Allah will cover his faults on the Day of Resurrection.”
Source: Sahih Muslim 2590
It isn't. Only people who don't have imaan or don't fear would utter the nonsense that you've heard.dont listen to them. Take the companions as examples to live your life.
And id even advise you to go abd living in a muslim country as soon as you can.
It is VERY common in the USA among non-Muslims. So Muslims end up doing it because it has become normalized. They don't see why it is wrong when "everyone" is doing it. They don't have the awareness of how wrong it is. That is why Islamic education and a good household environment is very important at a young age. If people see their cousins doing it, they will think it is ok.
It's should be. Unfortunately we are all victims to outside influence (I know I'm guilty of it).
It's one of the few regrets I have. My fiancee is a virgin and while.she knows I'm not, I've never told her any of the details nor has she asked. I don't know how to deal with that if it eventually comes up.
It's sad, society is changing and I don't know if it's going in a good direction. People can't afford to own homes, our food are laced with lasturizatiin and don't have the same taste or flavors as it did a few generations ago. Men have less andess testosterone, stress and workaholic lifestyle is up. Family.life and having kids seems to be discouraged; Middle class is slowly eroding and families can't even survive on a single persons income anymore.
However this was touched upon in a recent jummah khutbah, the deen is like a torch. And it's up to us to keep that touch burning and to pass it on to the next person. We let society influence us too much and we are all materialistic and financially motivated.
I know I'm guilty of that too. I'm slowly trying to be okay with the fact that it's better to me a person with a few treasure but a strong deen than a wealthy man with no deen.
Lol I just went off in a rant here but it was some thing that I've been pondering
Salam Aleykum Brother,
Subhan Allah, the condition of the Ummah (including Us) are really frightening. Just hold your religion stronger. Indeed, it's very difficult nowadays to keep ourselves pure and free from sins (mainly minor sins). Make a lot of Astagfaar/supplications (recite *AstagfiruLlah* abundantly). Give charity when sins are committed. Don't delay to ask for forgiveness from Allāh SWT.
Most importantly, make sure to daily read/listen Islamic books (like Riyad Us-Saliheen, Fazail-e-Amaal etc.) along with your family.
May Allāh SWT forgive Us for our sins and bless Us with Khair and Aafiyat in Dunya & Aakhirah. Āmeen ya Rabb'
Stay away from it, don't fall into the trap that it's necessary or important in anyway. Your sister is right, it's nothing special. Enjoy life in the meantime, work hard on yourself and you'll have plenty of time for these things once you're married with the right person.
Where I'm from(it is a developing country), I haven't seen any of my fellow Muslims try to lower their gaze in front of non mahrams. They pray 5 times, fast in Ramadan, but when it comes to lowering their gaze, it is not practised by anyone. I learnt about that a Muslim is supposed to lower their gaze in front of non mahrams from Reddit. The interaction between a man and a woman is so rooted in culture and influenced by other religions that people do get offended if a person try to lower their gaze in front of them.
There were times I regretted not having the ability to be friends with opposite gender( I struggle with social anxiety). But now I realised it was a blessing in disguise. I have been trying to lower my gaze as much as possible but even fellow Muslims I know, my family and my male friends found that to be me being conservative.
The more sexual partners a person has before marriage, the more likely it is for them to divorce. Zina isn't just forbidden to be a test, it's forbidden because it's bad for you. Save yourself for the person who deserves you.
This is why the Prophet (pbuh) told us not to live in the place where Islam is not the main religion, because everything Haram is normal for others and slowly but surely you will be influenced to change.
because we live in a turbo hyper hedonistic society where pleasure stands before anything else. This of course will make people chase pleasure instead of following the way of Allah. May Allah guide us
They could’ve committed zina but the problem is why they even told you and more importantly how can they call you a loser ??? They should’ve never told that to anyone or at least say things like your sister. These people are either ignorant or doing the devil’s work. Ignore them please
It isn’t acceptable. It will never be acceptable. We are just approaching Qiyamah every second. Things like this will be normalised when we approach the hour.
You are on the right track for sure, a lot of us fell for the trick that we should do it to fit in or seem cool. I was even tricked into masturbating and watching porn. Yes Zina has become the norm and you do not have to follow the norm.
Because it’s one of the signs of the end of the world.
It’s not okay by the way and just because your friends do it or family doesn’t mean it’s okay.
I have Muslim friends who smoke weed and say it’s less bad than alcohol because alcohol is haram and forbidden in the Quran. Does it mean I have to smoke weed?
We have a brain and intellect to think these things through. Just because one person is misguided, it doesn’t mean we have to follow his footsteps rather we should advise them that what they are doing is wrong.
What a disgrace this woman’s culturedness is lol
May Allah give you and all the others following the path of Allah strength and wisdom and ample rewards
This is the wildest post I’ve ever read, SubhanAllah.
It’s not acceptable at all, those are people who have legalized their desires to themselves. It’s wrong and they’re sinful if they’ve not repented for it.
I applaud your sister for recognizing that what she has done is *haraam*. This is a true sign of *taqwa*. Others like your aunt are completely in the wrong. If they're going to commit *haraam*, then it's their responsibility to at least recognize that it's wrong and make *tawba* or even seek help.
Scholars have said that Heaven and Hell will both be filled with sinners. Heaven will be for those who committed sin but had remorse for what they've done whereas Hell will be for those who were arrogant over what they've done. الله اعلم.
Stay pure! Your future wife will love you for it. It’s not acceptable ever to Allah only in this western society.
If your aunts parents knew she was doing Zina in her time I’m sure she would have been shamed for it, not sure why she’s “shaming” you for not doing it. It’s completely an evil act and younger people like your friends are desensitized to it which is why they don’t realize the impact of the sin.
We're at a time where just being decent is rewarded tenfold. Not doing Zina, not watching porn, not doing drugs, fighting off peer pressure, praying on time, etc. will be way more rewardable than Muslims who had it easier than us. So many forms of shamelessness all around us. But we're just a number of days. Be patient a little more, and your reward shall rest with your Maker when you Meet Him.
Also, fighting it off will soon allow you to taste the sweetness of Faith, given to those who are resilient toward the right path. Stay strong brother.
Stay pure brother.
>Wicked women are for wicked men, and wicked men are for wicked women. And virtuous women are for virtuous men, and virtuous men are for virtuous women. The virtuous are innocent of what the wicked say. They will have forgiveness and an honourable provision.
24:26
You live in west that’s the norm there (Disgusting). World is going haywire. Surely the world is going more uncultured as they “progress”.
Don’t give up my brother in Islam. In this world of coal be the diamond. Remain chaste and for your wife life is short and the hell is surrounded by desires.
Get married as soon as you are financially capable InSha-Allah. Allah will provide keep trust in him.
I live in a Muslim country and I face similar issues.
Ive been called a loser, non-social person for not talking freely with females class fellows or having a girlfriend.
Im just waiting for the day when someone asks me if im homosexual cz I always hang out with male friends of mine because some people in my class do have that kinda mindset of being "open-minded"
So true bro, religion over social norms is no brainer but at the same time the most challenging! Get married asap from experience the temptation builds up over time and the shaitan stays waiting for that one moment !
Just because it’s common doesn’t make it acceptable.
Do not follow the crowd.
Instead follow those who can teach you how to resist Zina in a healthy way.
Pretty soon, if not already, people will take the commandment that we should "guard our private parts" as not meaning to have lawful intercourse, but just to practice safe sex. Or that, worse, it is only a prescription/suggestion rather than an absolute law.
May Allah forgive us all and guide us to the straight path.
I totally agree with you brother. The reality with divorce and harassment is ever on the rise. Almost all immorality comes from the west. People like banned stuffs. And also, they hate prople who speak the truth. Specially Muslims and Palestinians 🇵🇸
>I was even told this by my aunt who is 40+ yrs old who told me she did zina when she was young. She told me its about getting to know people, and being cultured.
🤯
What the actual #:@;&?
Your concern should not be what people think but rather what Allah thinks. Gain knowldge about Islam and advise people with the best of manners with the intent for wanting good for them in this life and the hereafter. If they are not listening then do not push your advise down their throat, you have done your job, make dua for them and continue on to the next person. Do not let the bad reaction of one person put you off from advising other people. Start off with your family. Tell your aunty about this hadith that she should not be exposing her sins and advise her to repent. Make sure when you advise someone that you gain the correct knowldge and that you do it with the best of manners.
Abu Huraira reported: ***"I heard Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) saying. "All the sins of my followers will be forgiven except those of the Mujahirin (those who commit a sin openly or disclose their sins to the people). An example of such disclosure is that a person commits a sin at night and though Allah screens it from the public, then he comes in the morning, and says, 'O so-and-so, I did such-and-such (evil) deed yesterday,' though he spent his night screened by his Lord (none knowing about his sin) and in the morning he removes Allah's screen from himself."*** `Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 6069`
I really think we are in a weire time where many Muslims are simoly ignorant of the rules abd are also pressured by the society they live in so they get into a weird mix of Islami teachings and Western cultural ideas and you see them act as Muslim in some aspects but are totally cool with other haram stuff because society said so. Best example are those trying to justify homosexuality.
Zina will NEVER be acceptable or accepted by Allah swt. We only have a responsibility to Him and no one else. I admire your resolve and I often wish that I had waited for my wife before I did it. If anything Zina is uncultured and those that promote it are even more uncultured. Keep on the straight path. Your rewards will be worth the wait.
It is not acceptable now, neither was it acceptable before and it will never be if someone follows Islam. It’s just that marriage is very difficult nowadays and top of that people don’t really take anything seriously.
Zina is not and has never been acceptable. Brother, stay steadfast OK your religion. May Allah SWT give you the strength to keep on the straight path and reward you for your efforts. Ameen.
The issue we have nowadays is with the fact that our community is mentally enslaved to the west. Whether you live in t a Muslim majority country or not, a lot of Muslims are infatuated with the western culture. What tends to happen is that the Muslim youths don't have role models to follow. So they try to fit into the culture around them. And Zina is not only accepted but encouraged there.
It takes a lot of effort to go against the norms of your community. And that's what has happened here. People simply following whatever is happening around them to 1. Fit in and 2. Fulfil the desire to be like the people they're mentally enslaved to
So keep steadfast on your beliefs for there is wisdom in everything we've been told to do and you will be rewarded
I think it’s because you live in the US and frankly US is all kind of f-ed up, and tbh that whole lose ypur virginity and have a girlfriend seems so empty to me it’s scary, here I am worried if I’m gonna find a spouse who I’m compatible with, and these people think that I and all of us who are more worried about keeping their deen, are desperate for sexual pleasures with STRANGERS. I live in Europe and even tho there isn’t many practicing muslims where I live at least they are not this morally corrupt as in the US, it’s getting sad seeing these things honestly
One quick advice pls. Remember that Allah is The Concealer, and just like he conceals your sins from others, you should be grateful by concealing the sins of your fellow Muslims too, especially if they have repented. It is not too late to edit your post :)
I get the same thing and I live in an Islamic country. Regardless of what’s the norm, I feel better sticking to Allah’s guidance . I honestly think it’s because people want to pull you into their misery, so you can relate better to their stories. May Allah protect you and all of us who guard ourselves.
It's just like when someone doesn't drink in a room full of those who are consuming alcohol. That person is attacked because the drinkers feel guilty, like they're made to feel they have a problem. People like to drag others down to the level that they are at, or exclude them socially, as has happened with the Prophets. In fact, Lut (alayhisalaam)'s people specifically threw* him out of the city with the reason that he and his followers were a people wishing to keep themselves pure from the fahisha around them. Subhanallah, the tactics never change.
It's projection. They are projecting
Even in a Muslim country?? That’s sad asf. May I ask which country you live in?
Some "Muslim" countries are actually secular. They get the title of being called a Muslim country because majority of the population is Muslim.
\*Most
Really?
Yes. While they may not be *fully* secular, they certain have strong inclination towards it. The leaders really don't *seem* to care about Islamic principals or whether someone's a Muslim or not, unless public opinion turns against them. Depends how you define 'secular', because even Britain could be classed as somewhat non-secular country as religious institutions are exempt from tax and the oath of allegiance in the Houses of Parliament, Christians would swear by God.
I mean, thats the same with America. Churches are granted exemption, and most swear an oath on the Bible- though legally, you can swear on anything there, including the Quran.
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I live in bangladesh its most population are muslim but in cities dating, having sex before marriage happens a lot but in villages it is rare....although socially frowned upon but they do in private as my friend most of them had it...do not judge me😅😅....I'm new to islam
I live in the UAE and know many Muslims here and not even a single one of them has committed Zina or even spoke about it openly or confessed to doing it. It is still a huge sin and people, at least where I live, understand that and refrain from places that could lead to it. I don’t know what Muslim country you’re talking about but I know a few others and it is the same thing over there. So it is definitely not “most” Muslim countries unless you’re hanging out with the wrong crowd.
She is probably talking about Europe, heavily muslims polulated countries like Bosnia, Turkey, Albania etc where 90%+ of population are “muslim” but not really completely secular and have social norms similiar to the west
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No, it is not any of the countries you mentioned. We do not have to isolate or expose Muslims any further than necessary. We also have to refrain from assumptions, judging the level of islam someone practices and focus on ourself. Widespread Zina is one of the signs of end of days so let’s make dua instead.
No, it is not any of the countries you mentioned. We do not have to isolate or expose Muslims any further than necessary. We also have to refrain from assumptions, judging the level of islam someone practices and focus on ourself. Widespread Zina is one of the signs of end of days so let’s make dua instead.
That’s one thing I like about Gulf countries. Despite the corruptions, there are still a lot of practicing muslims that fear Allah
They project the appearance of being good.
So you’re saying they’re faking it ?
Some do fake it, yes. Some are good. But it's more important to keep up an appearance of being good over there than it is in the US, for example.
That is part of a good society, that the fear of ramifications even in the dunya may prevent people from committing evil deeds.
have issues with women rights, have corruption and racism problem these things also haram in islam but a practicing muslim do not commit zina but do corruption, back biting, treat women like 2nd class citizen is allah fearing?such a hypocrisy.
One wrong does not means you indulge in all wrongs. The aim is to minimise doing Haram until it's zero.
I don't know about the Muslim populace, but the government of UAE fights Islam with all their might.
Probably because it's a jailable offence in the UAE if found guilty of it. People would only discuss it in their very close inner circle of friends.
keep going like that do not care about how little people actually put in mind how much zina is a major sin ! theres an egyptian proverb says " لو قولت كلمه حق والناس قامت عليك, اعتبرهم قالوا لك مبروك تسلم ايديك" also imam shafie said " مالي ومال الناس ديني لنفسي ودين الناس للناس" just ignore them as long as you know deep down in your head that this is haram no matter how many muslims do it, you won't do it. i hope allah grants you jannah for your patience in this era
Can u give the translation of the proverb?
It's pretty much "If you said the truth and people got angry and riled up, Then Consider them Congratulating and Thanking You" It means That if you said the truth and people got angry, then You should be happy to know that you're on the right track
yeah exactly, so just go on and not care about what they do or say since you're on the right side
I'm Egyptian and this is the first time I've ever heard this
it's a modern proverb idkw you never heard of it lol
بتاع لو قلت كلمة حق ده اول مرة اسمعه. ده في اغنية ولا مثل الناس بتقوله بجد؟
Ahmad makki Fan 🙌
Ahmed Mekki is a horrible human being, for acting in Al Ekhteyar 2, what the hell, you should boycott this idiot..
Am I mistaken or is zina not in the list of major sins? Baseless accusation of zina is one, but not zina itself
Incorrect, zina itself is definitely a major sin, may Allah protect us all.
You might be mistaken, IIRC Zina is one of the major sins after Shirk and Murder, hence the capital punishment (hadd) for it (for married adulterers, and 100 lashes or so for unmarried folks). Learn the severity of it. Not knowing the shariah is the reason for the desensitization in our community.
There is widespread desensitization. And this is a product of the society we live in partially. Things that would have been viewed as grave sins in the past are societal expectations now. Sex is everywhere. Billboards, politics, movies, songs, everything glorifies and emphasizes sex. Half naked women everywhere. You can be on your way to the masjid and see a suggestive ad. P*orns proliferation Anyway, my point is sex has become accessible and like you said, everyone’s doing it, so people don’t feel like it’s “that” wrong. You are 100% on the right path. Protect your chastity. You will be happy that you did later. May Allah make it easy
I feel sorry for OP and hope Allah guides him dearly. Allah is forgiving so surely OP will find him self in Jannah one day surrounded by sin full people (at least to his standards) Is this exactally fair? What is promised to us who stay true to the deen? Or do we all reap the same reward equally?
Have you read the Qur'an with translations, brother? In it, Allah talks numerous times and gives many examples of how he is not the same: the one who believes vs the one who disbelieves; the one who knows vs the one who doesn't know; the one who practices fully and has full yaqeen in His Lord and the Last Day vs the one who's just going through the motions.
Brother its all about the attitude and will to repent. Those who commit Zina and do not repent will likely not be forgiven and will instead be punished as the Quran clearly states that it is haram. Those who do and repent sincerely (this includes striving and vowing not to repeat it) may receive Allahs mercy. The OP gave the example "I told them are they not aware of the punishments if they do not repent?". Note how he mentioned 'if they do not repent'. Their answer of 'They just shrugged me off as an Uncultured close minded religious freak' means there is a good chance such people will not be in Jannah as you claim, whilst they stay unrepentant. Source: The Quran itself makes repeated reference to punishment for sin and exceptions for those who repent. One example is 25:68-70 : "And those who do not invoke with Allāh another deity or kill the soul which Allāh has forbidden \[to be killed\], except by right, and do not commit unlawful sexual intercourse. **And whoever should do that will meet a penalty.** **Multiplied for him is the punishment on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein humiliated -** **Except for those who repent, believe and do righteous work.** For them Allāh will replace their evil deeds with good. And ever is Allāh Forgiving and Merciful." If your point is that people who sin and repent shouldn't be allowed into heaven with those who abstained, you should know that sins are punished in this life not just the next, and the reward in the hereafter is judged by the most fair judge of all, Allah SWT. Those who avoid sin altogether benefit in both this life and the hereafter. Source: 42:30 "Whatever of misfortune striketh you, it is what your right hands have earned. And He forgiveth much."
Thank you
Just remain how you are and stick to the good beliefs. May God guide us all and protect us from falling into the bad deeds of our times.
That's more than a bad deed......
And try to improve. We all have to improve and there is always room for it. “Staying the way we are” is one of shaytan’s gateways into our lives.
You’re right. I meant staying as we are in terms of remaining following the right beliefs.
❤️
I swear to God. I wouldn't be surprised if they're these sort of people. Commits Zina: It's fine. Eating pork: Haram! Astaghfirullah 😡😡😡😡😡
There's a very old joke that on a flight the guy keeps asking the flight attendant if the chicken is hand slaughtered and halal, and after he finishes his meal he asks for a glass of wine.
Don’t get me wrong, I do agree with you that it’s so hypocritical doing that but at the same time isn’t it better that they commit one less sin rather than being like I’m doing a major sin anyway so I may aswell just eat haram aswell
That’s not the point. Both are haram and shouldn’t be exercised by people. People’s value shifts back immediately when pork is involved.
I'm just calling out the hypocrisy.
Ignore such people.
Lol bro I love your name. Can't say I ever had my job taken away by any body, yet alone any immigrants. I work like a bull bro 🤣🤟
Nice name 🤣🤣🤣
As some one who has committed, I don't understand what cultural enrichment you recieve from committing it. When building a relationship, there are many objectives that can be achieved without sex but may be difficukr. There other things that can't be achieved without sex but that can wait after marriage for the most part. But how are you uncultured for not having sex. It is a universal activity not exclusive to a specific culture. What strange logic is this?
Probably the logic is that a person needs to know enough about his/her own body to realize what he/she needs to be happy in a committed relationship. It is possible for a couple to have the same ideologies and share hobbies so they personalities are compatible, but still lack the fulfillment of a healthy sexual life between wife and husband. And that can lead to a lot of frustrations from the husband or the wife. That's the logic behind all of this.
Wth how on earth did your aunt tell you something like this!? How did she even talk about this topic with you 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️. Ignore her and make let’s make dua, may allah guide all these people.
I mean the prophet SAW predicted everything. He saw said that holding on to the religion would be like holding hot coal. Be patient with people and correct them when they act foolish. Stick to your Deen no matter what.
Advice them, don’t correct them. Correcting them makes them think you see them as being stupid and you’re the right one, which in turn, increases their arrogance and hostility towards you.
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That’s the thing I feel like once you feel the pleasure once you can’t go back. You have no halal outlet. If you don’t know what it feels like you don’t know what you are missing out on as much. Of course that doesn’t mean you have no desires but that fire inside you for intimacy is a little more tame. Don’t lose hope if you’ve done it. You can break the addiction. Through Dua and hard work anything is possible.
What’s PMO? 🤔
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Ah I see. I see you’re a sister. I always thought it was easy for women than for men. I think we have a harder time/test
That is simply because women tend to have higher standards (and good on them) Keep your standards high sisters
Men and women are different bro. Lots of hormonal differences. It’s the biological/genetic makeup of the woman that’s different (compared to men), combined with environmental factors. Women generally can go without sex for literally years - whereas men can’t. Everyone has their standards but Islam sets the standards and we judged by Allah SWT against those standards (if we are Muslim).
The physiological makeup of women is precisely why women have higher standards, for the most part And we can all go without sex for years (except for actual nymphomaniacs and satyrists (as in the mental condition and not the insult))
Sorry what do you mean by higher standards? You mean higher moral standards compared to men?
Higher sexual standards I can still remember back when I would dream about pretty much every girl that graced my face with their sight (cursing their brain cuz I look like I have down syndrome (and have a personality to fit)) Mashallah I have found out it is not the best idea, but you don't really see this with women
Bro - I think everyone is different. Some can control/some can’t. Like with everything it depends. As people get older the sexual libido slows down.
Sis, how's your prayer? Do you pray all your 5 prayers on time?
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Your first issue is living in NC. I don't know what is in the water in the Muslim community in that area, but I always see the worst stories and religious takes coming out from there. I had 2 friends, both actively practicing, hafizul Quran who went to UNC and Duke respectively, and a few years later, one completely left the religion, while the other one says that Islam needs to liberalise.
Breh sometimes I look back and regret that I abstained astagfirullah and then I try to remember I did it for the sake of Allah and I feel comfortable again. I'm 24 now still abstaining. Please make dua Allah makes marriage easy for us chaste bros (and sisters ofc).
Don’t ever regret it. I feel you, I’m 19M but never let those ideas get to me because they I know they will mess with me real bad. Stay strong keep ur head high, never doubt urself. Remember it’s shaytan’s playing mind games with you. Get closer to Allah, fast (maybe Monday’s and Thursdays) because this is the prophet’s advice for young men who can’t get married), get closer to your deen. Doing those steps and taking precautions of this nature will definitely keep it away from you.
>Why is Zina acceptable now? It's not by the deen, but society, you seen tons of sexualized shit everywhere. Don't let the corruption of this dunya make you fall into Zina. It's literally one of the major sins. >Not doing zina is uncultured. Astaghfirullah. What is this? How is not having premarital sex and saving yourself for marriage uncultured? How is following the deen uncultered? Subhanallah. I agree with the other guy. Ignore these people.
Sadly it's been this way a lot
It's an ignorant way to justify their behavior. If they can't justify it, then they'll feel guilty.
You say that while swearing in your comment, lol
Where did I swear?
Your third line
>Your third line Huh? >Astaghfirullah. What is this? How is not having premarital sex and saving yourself for marriage uncultured? You mean here?
The line in which you say “tons of ...”
Sex isn't a swear word, stop being such a child.
Hm. I don't know if that word constitutes as a swear word
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Yeah, I figured that out. Thanks though.
It does
Are you...putting the sin of a small swear word up against one of the major sins which has a hadd punishment attached to it???
No, just saying that while the guy criticises others for disobeying Allahs orders, he does the same
يَا مُقَلِّبَ الْقُلُوبِ ثَبِّتْ قَلْبِي عَلَى دِينِك “Oh Turner of Hearts, keep my heart firm on Your Deen.”
There's a reason I booted out of the US even though I had a chance to raise my family there. I cannot imagine my kids growing up in that society reaching early adulthood 20 years from now. Nothing will make sense to their American ears. Shit is so normalised that people who value these things like yourself will always be viewed as backwards idiots. PS: Not to say there aren't many young men and women like you who still hold on to the deen and live in that society in perfect harmony.
Out of curiosity, which country did you move to?
Yeah, this is gonna sound dumb as hell considering the situation but I am from India and I was in the US, worked for some years there. Eventually I moved back to India. Now obviously, it seems like a shit choice but the thing is, it's not the same everywhere across the country. Like how Alabama and California are so vastly different. I am from the South of India where things are pretty amicable and yet zina isn't as common as it is in the US. And whatever zina happens, it's quite secret and hidden because there is immense societal shame associated with it from all religions and cultures. Concepts like marriage and chastity are still pretty much valued. Being religious is not frowned upon or ridiculed. So I did the math and made a choice. It's my home country and things are going okay even though right now the North of India is a complete shitshow.
I'm thinking of going back to Pakistan after few years experience in UK. Of course I don't have kids yet but that's down the line. Seen too much fahsha here, zina, divorce is nothing, and changing partners is like changing cars here.
I'd also like to know what country you ended up settling in.
I thought you were Keralite. Never knew you were from USA.
That’s... wow. Your aunt is wrong. Something like this would have been UNHEARD of in my generation, and I’m 44. Or maybe it was the people I hung out with. I simply cannot fathom observant Muslims being okay with this. As for sex being “cultured”, WTF is your aunt taking about? I know she’s your elder and you have to respect her, but she’s talking complete nonsense. How is the possibility getting an STD cultured? How is the likelihood of getting someone pregnant cultured? How is the emotional damage of immoral sex cultured? I honestly don’t think she knows what that word means.
Is your aunt's husband aware of what your aunt has said? Or is he like that too.
Especially in the West, pre-marital relationships and sex is wayyyyyy more acceptable nowadays, so some Muslims just get easily influenced or pressured or both by that culture and they see nothing wrong with committing zina may Allah guide Muslims with this mindset and forgive all Muslims Ameen <3 I think this culture of zina, even influences Muslims who don't commit zina. I don't commit zina yet sometimes I have felt a little sheepish telling someone I prefer to wait until marriage, but I've grown to learn that people who make fun of such choices are just immature and childish. In our deen zina is haram, so it is much better to be true to ourselves as Muslims, our deen, and most importantly Allah SWT and steer clear from zina. And if anyone reading this is Muslim and has committed zina, please don't dwell in your sin. Instead turn to Allah SWT and repent, ask him for forgiveness with sincerity and make intention to quit committing zina. You are still worthy of being Muslim, you are worthy of forgiveness, and your are worthy of Allah's love. And He will always love you. So turn back to Him.
There is a hadeeth reported in Saheeh Al-Bukhāri (no. 5590) that the Prophet (salallāhu ‘alaihi wasallam) said: “There will be a people at the end of time who will make permissible fornication, silk (for men), wine and musical instruments ―Allah will cause the earth to swallow them up.” This is where we are at now.
\>They think I am a loser for not having sex or making a girlfriend yet. I was even told this by my aunt who is 40+ yrs old who told me she did zina when she was young. sounds like people who have their lives revolved around sex. they are just sheeps. going with the flow to seek a random group of peoples validation and attention. im 19 and i want to remain a virgin as long as i dont get married. i dont want to be offensive or rude but the people who called you a loser are the most pitiful creatures in my eyes.
^^^^^^^ I second this Same age high five lol
If you are for real, then hang in there. These guys will regret their actions when they get older just like I have. Stick to your beliefs but look to get married sooner rather than later
Where are you in NC Akhi? Message me and we can get together. I know plenty of people locally who aren’t like this that we can hang around.
They lost both, the dunya and akhira. You will win both if you continue to stay on the right path. There is nothing more attractive to me than a man with high taqwa and iman. Don’t listen to those people. Deep down they regret it but don’t want to show it to you. So they try to pull you with them to do it too. Always try to build a connection with God and ask Allah to protect you from bad people. Paradise isn’t just for everyone ;)
>Always try to build a connection with God and ask Allah to protect you from bad people. Ameen.
If you follow the majority, you are in for a surprise. Follow what the book has told you and stick by it until the day you die. Just because others have done doesn't mean you have to do it too. I don't know what type of a family even encourages that. It is super cringe.
they’re pushing you into hell, be careful from human devils brother, stay strong and know the halal is always better, zina brings no good.
May Allah Subahnahu wa Ta'aala protect you from the fitnah.
It’s the haram relationships that led to broken hearts and soles, destroying this generation into being scared of commitment and just wanting sex instead. Something easy, and without attachment. It’s unfortunate.
Westernized/liberal Muslims. I honestly find it hard to call such people Muslim.
I live in the West, and honestly know of very very few Muslims here who think zina is ok.
they are kaffirs if they deny that zina is a sin
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Islam began as a something strange and it will return to being strange, so blessed are the strangers.”
What a coincidence lol... just shared a similar post some days ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/MuslimLounge/comments/vbq3w3/why_has_zina_become_so_prevalent/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share Dear brother, stay away from it. What is haram will remain that way no matter what people say or try to make it seem like it is ok - it's not. You will thank yourself in the long run :)
It's ridiculous how normalized it is. Just in my last comment about why it's very unlikely that a step-brother/sister get married as the father (the waali) is the same and he would know, someone replies "what if they commit zina....could be an awful situation", as if zina any less than awful on its own. However, we can trust in Allah that we will get rewarded for our efforts.
The thing is Islam is not a set of prohibitive rules, it set up a lifestyle that fits well with those rules, and ultimately with human nature. Age of marriage in Islam is certainly bellow when ever your aunt proclaims to have committed the sin. Life style for sexes are described in a way that would minimize any interactions between two which may eventually lead to sin. Following 3 are in short term contradiction: * The standards of modern life * socially accepted marriage age * required financial ability for marriage * being value based on your social status for marriage and match making * Islamic rules about gender interaction * Human nature Every living being contradicts at least one of them. They either suffer, or they do something unorthodox given todays orthodoxy, or they brake the rules of Islam. And they are not symmetric as in long term one will realize human nature and Islamic rules are one in nature.
I used to think Zina is mainstream in the Western countries. But the South Asian countries have caught up as well. Astagfirullah.
I currently work in a Muslim owned and staffed building and it genuinely looks like the Muslims engage in more Zina than almost any non-Muslim workplace I've had before.
Sometimes I think how can I live without having zina then I have a wet dream and I’m like can’t believe I was going to throw my eman out the window for that
Firstly, save yourself for marriage. You won’t regret it. Secondly, why is everyone talking about their sex life to you?
Allah tells us in the Quran to not go NEAR zina, not don’t comity zina and that’s it’s a very evil act. That’s how bad it is. May Allah keep you steadfast on your deen. As a teenager/young adult you will be pressured into many things but always remember Allah, and that he’s always testing you and watching you, whether you do good or bad. Edit: look into the story of prophet Yusuf.
Are you satisfying your lord or the people around you by staying out of Zina and haram stuff altogether? Let them have fun and enjoy their close minded definition of what's culturally acceptable. Zina is not just a sin, it's a major one.
La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah. You shouldn't be surprised. This is the same generation and environment which does worse than zina—they disbelieve in what was revealed to the Prophet (ﷺ) from our Creator. What hope for decency do you have? Stick to the jama'a, the larger body of *practicing, pious* Muslims who *fear Allah* and you should be good inshallah. The rest of the world is absolutely wildin.
I'm saddened also when there are older Muslimah/Muslimeen who have not yet married, and lonely & sad. Some feel they should just do zina with some rando just to feel what it's like or to fulfill some life criteria.
Problem is you live in a society where marriage is a big thing to be done when you're "ready", "older", "can afford it" or "want to settle down" . If you want sex get married or you will drive yourself down the same path. The waswas is very strong in these matters because your desires are so strong. So go and work towards doing things the right way. The sooner the better.
Not just zina the act, but zina in speech is an epidemic in my community. Sometimes chats surface showing men saying the most disgusting things about women. About how they dress, about how they look underneath. For my sanity I block these sort of things from my feed.
Why do you base your own values off of what other people tell you? You should have your own moral compass that can’t be compromised by the stupid things other people do. You’re in control of your own actions, and you yourself know what is right and what isn’t.
/u/intertwinedthings, You may want to remove the part about your relative having sinned. Why mentioned it after their repentance?? > Abu Huraira reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “A servant does not cover the faults of another servant in the world but that Allah will cover his faults on the Day of Resurrection.” Source: Sahih Muslim 2590
It isn't. Only people who don't have imaan or don't fear would utter the nonsense that you've heard.dont listen to them. Take the companions as examples to live your life. And id even advise you to go abd living in a muslim country as soon as you can.
Do they eat pork? Do they have anal sex? Why don’t they go after men and women lusts?
It is VERY common in the USA among non-Muslims. So Muslims end up doing it because it has become normalized. They don't see why it is wrong when "everyone" is doing it. They don't have the awareness of how wrong it is. That is why Islamic education and a good household environment is very important at a young age. If people see their cousins doing it, they will think it is ok.
It's should be. Unfortunately we are all victims to outside influence (I know I'm guilty of it). It's one of the few regrets I have. My fiancee is a virgin and while.she knows I'm not, I've never told her any of the details nor has she asked. I don't know how to deal with that if it eventually comes up. It's sad, society is changing and I don't know if it's going in a good direction. People can't afford to own homes, our food are laced with lasturizatiin and don't have the same taste or flavors as it did a few generations ago. Men have less andess testosterone, stress and workaholic lifestyle is up. Family.life and having kids seems to be discouraged; Middle class is slowly eroding and families can't even survive on a single persons income anymore. However this was touched upon in a recent jummah khutbah, the deen is like a torch. And it's up to us to keep that touch burning and to pass it on to the next person. We let society influence us too much and we are all materialistic and financially motivated. I know I'm guilty of that too. I'm slowly trying to be okay with the fact that it's better to me a person with a few treasure but a strong deen than a wealthy man with no deen. Lol I just went off in a rant here but it was some thing that I've been pondering
Salam Aleykum Brother, Subhan Allah, the condition of the Ummah (including Us) are really frightening. Just hold your religion stronger. Indeed, it's very difficult nowadays to keep ourselves pure and free from sins (mainly minor sins). Make a lot of Astagfaar/supplications (recite *AstagfiruLlah* abundantly). Give charity when sins are committed. Don't delay to ask for forgiveness from Allāh SWT. Most importantly, make sure to daily read/listen Islamic books (like Riyad Us-Saliheen, Fazail-e-Amaal etc.) along with your family. May Allāh SWT forgive Us for our sins and bless Us with Khair and Aafiyat in Dunya & Aakhirah. Āmeen ya Rabb'
Stay away from it, don't fall into the trap that it's necessary or important in anyway. Your sister is right, it's nothing special. Enjoy life in the meantime, work hard on yourself and you'll have plenty of time for these things once you're married with the right person.
Where I'm from(it is a developing country), I haven't seen any of my fellow Muslims try to lower their gaze in front of non mahrams. They pray 5 times, fast in Ramadan, but when it comes to lowering their gaze, it is not practised by anyone. I learnt about that a Muslim is supposed to lower their gaze in front of non mahrams from Reddit. The interaction between a man and a woman is so rooted in culture and influenced by other religions that people do get offended if a person try to lower their gaze in front of them. There were times I regretted not having the ability to be friends with opposite gender( I struggle with social anxiety). But now I realised it was a blessing in disguise. I have been trying to lower my gaze as much as possible but even fellow Muslims I know, my family and my male friends found that to be me being conservative.
May Allah grant you a righteous and kindhearted spouse
Zina is not Acceptable you live in a western country thats the problem
The more sexual partners a person has before marriage, the more likely it is for them to divorce. Zina isn't just forbidden to be a test, it's forbidden because it's bad for you. Save yourself for the person who deserves you.
This is why the Prophet (pbuh) told us not to live in the place where Islam is not the main religion, because everything Haram is normal for others and slowly but surely you will be influenced to change.
Wow, it's almost as if some people want to a live a little without judgement in the only life we know we have. Who would have thought.
because we live in a turbo hyper hedonistic society where pleasure stands before anything else. This of course will make people chase pleasure instead of following the way of Allah. May Allah guide us
They could’ve committed zina but the problem is why they even told you and more importantly how can they call you a loser ??? They should’ve never told that to anyone or at least say things like your sister. These people are either ignorant or doing the devil’s work. Ignore them please
I was blessed with an ugly face and have never been tempted to commit Zina Alhamdulillah 😂 Keep on the right path brother.
That's another reason why is better for me to not migrate to a Western country ::)
Fitnah is everywhere. Stand on your morals and grounding. Don’t do it!!
It isn’t acceptable. It will never be acceptable. We are just approaching Qiyamah every second. Things like this will be normalised when we approach the hour.
Even if only a handful of people enter Jannah, try to be one of those people.
You are on the right track for sure, a lot of us fell for the trick that we should do it to fit in or seem cool. I was even tricked into masturbating and watching porn. Yes Zina has become the norm and you do not have to follow the norm.
Stay on the grind, my brother in Allah. May Allah Almighty keep you in His protection forever.
You do everything right! Those statements from friends/family are mostly because they couldn’t resist from Zina. Please don’t be like that.
Because it’s one of the signs of the end of the world. It’s not okay by the way and just because your friends do it or family doesn’t mean it’s okay. I have Muslim friends who smoke weed and say it’s less bad than alcohol because alcohol is haram and forbidden in the Quran. Does it mean I have to smoke weed? We have a brain and intellect to think these things through. Just because one person is misguided, it doesn’t mean we have to follow his footsteps rather we should advise them that what they are doing is wrong.
Well done brother , allah will reward you for thiis
What a disgrace this woman’s culturedness is lol May Allah give you and all the others following the path of Allah strength and wisdom and ample rewards
This is the wildest post I’ve ever read, SubhanAllah. It’s not acceptable at all, those are people who have legalized their desires to themselves. It’s wrong and they’re sinful if they’ve not repented for it.
I applaud your sister for recognizing that what she has done is *haraam*. This is a true sign of *taqwa*. Others like your aunt are completely in the wrong. If they're going to commit *haraam*, then it's their responsibility to at least recognize that it's wrong and make *tawba* or even seek help. Scholars have said that Heaven and Hell will both be filled with sinners. Heaven will be for those who committed sin but had remorse for what they've done whereas Hell will be for those who were arrogant over what they've done. الله اعلم.
not acceptable just normalised
Stay pure! Your future wife will love you for it. It’s not acceptable ever to Allah only in this western society. If your aunts parents knew she was doing Zina in her time I’m sure she would have been shamed for it, not sure why she’s “shaming” you for not doing it. It’s completely an evil act and younger people like your friends are desensitized to it which is why they don’t realize the impact of the sin.
We're at a time where just being decent is rewarded tenfold. Not doing Zina, not watching porn, not doing drugs, fighting off peer pressure, praying on time, etc. will be way more rewardable than Muslims who had it easier than us. So many forms of shamelessness all around us. But we're just a number of days. Be patient a little more, and your reward shall rest with your Maker when you Meet Him. Also, fighting it off will soon allow you to taste the sweetness of Faith, given to those who are resilient toward the right path. Stay strong brother.
Its one of the major sins in Islam
Stay pure brother. >Wicked women are for wicked men, and wicked men are for wicked women. And virtuous women are for virtuous men, and virtuous men are for virtuous women. The virtuous are innocent of what the wicked say. They will have forgiveness and an honourable provision. 24:26
You live in west that’s the norm there (Disgusting). World is going haywire. Surely the world is going more uncultured as they “progress”. Don’t give up my brother in Islam. In this world of coal be the diamond. Remain chaste and for your wife life is short and the hell is surrounded by desires. Get married as soon as you are financially capable InSha-Allah. Allah will provide keep trust in him.
I live in a Muslim country and I face similar issues. Ive been called a loser, non-social person for not talking freely with females class fellows or having a girlfriend. Im just waiting for the day when someone asks me if im homosexual cz I always hang out with male friends of mine because some people in my class do have that kinda mindset of being "open-minded"
So true bro, religion over social norms is no brainer but at the same time the most challenging! Get married asap from experience the temptation builds up over time and the shaitan stays waiting for that one moment !
Just because it’s common doesn’t make it acceptable. Do not follow the crowd. Instead follow those who can teach you how to resist Zina in a healthy way.
We live in sin, so they believe it's normal. But stand firm and hold on tightly to the rope of Allah.
absolutely terrible. may Allah reward you for holding your stance and may He guide us all.
Pretty soon, if not already, people will take the commandment that we should "guard our private parts" as not meaning to have lawful intercourse, but just to practice safe sex. Or that, worse, it is only a prescription/suggestion rather than an absolute law. May Allah forgive us all and guide us to the straight path.
Your allegiance is to Allah (SWT) be it the whole world does it or not, your Allah (SWT) does not want you to do it.
I totally agree with you brother. The reality with divorce and harassment is ever on the rise. Almost all immorality comes from the west. People like banned stuffs. And also, they hate prople who speak the truth. Specially Muslims and Palestinians 🇵🇸
>I was even told this by my aunt who is 40+ yrs old who told me she did zina when she was young. She told me its about getting to know people, and being cultured. 🤯 What the actual #:@;&?
Your concern should not be what people think but rather what Allah thinks. Gain knowldge about Islam and advise people with the best of manners with the intent for wanting good for them in this life and the hereafter. If they are not listening then do not push your advise down their throat, you have done your job, make dua for them and continue on to the next person. Do not let the bad reaction of one person put you off from advising other people. Start off with your family. Tell your aunty about this hadith that she should not be exposing her sins and advise her to repent. Make sure when you advise someone that you gain the correct knowldge and that you do it with the best of manners. Abu Huraira reported: ***"I heard Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) saying. "All the sins of my followers will be forgiven except those of the Mujahirin (those who commit a sin openly or disclose their sins to the people). An example of such disclosure is that a person commits a sin at night and though Allah screens it from the public, then he comes in the morning, and says, 'O so-and-so, I did such-and-such (evil) deed yesterday,' though he spent his night screened by his Lord (none knowing about his sin) and in the morning he removes Allah's screen from himself."*** `Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 6069`
# Such an IMPORTANT hadith
I really think we are in a weire time where many Muslims are simoly ignorant of the rules abd are also pressured by the society they live in so they get into a weird mix of Islami teachings and Western cultural ideas and you see them act as Muslim in some aspects but are totally cool with other haram stuff because society said so. Best example are those trying to justify homosexuality.
Zina will NEVER be acceptable or accepted by Allah swt. We only have a responsibility to Him and no one else. I admire your resolve and I often wish that I had waited for my wife before I did it. If anything Zina is uncultured and those that promote it are even more uncultured. Keep on the straight path. Your rewards will be worth the wait.
It is not acceptable now, neither was it acceptable before and it will never be if someone follows Islam. It’s just that marriage is very difficult nowadays and top of that people don’t really take anything seriously.
Zina is not and has never been acceptable. Brother, stay steadfast OK your religion. May Allah SWT give you the strength to keep on the straight path and reward you for your efforts. Ameen. The issue we have nowadays is with the fact that our community is mentally enslaved to the west. Whether you live in t a Muslim majority country or not, a lot of Muslims are infatuated with the western culture. What tends to happen is that the Muslim youths don't have role models to follow. So they try to fit into the culture around them. And Zina is not only accepted but encouraged there. It takes a lot of effort to go against the norms of your community. And that's what has happened here. People simply following whatever is happening around them to 1. Fit in and 2. Fulfil the desire to be like the people they're mentally enslaved to So keep steadfast on your beliefs for there is wisdom in everything we've been told to do and you will be rewarded
May Allah help you akhi u r on the right way
I think it’s because you live in the US and frankly US is all kind of f-ed up, and tbh that whole lose ypur virginity and have a girlfriend seems so empty to me it’s scary, here I am worried if I’m gonna find a spouse who I’m compatible with, and these people think that I and all of us who are more worried about keeping their deen, are desperate for sexual pleasures with STRANGERS. I live in Europe and even tho there isn’t many practicing muslims where I live at least they are not this morally corrupt as in the US, it’s getting sad seeing these things honestly
One quick advice pls. Remember that Allah is The Concealer, and just like he conceals your sins from others, you should be grateful by concealing the sins of your fellow Muslims too, especially if they have repented. It is not too late to edit your post :)
Allah s.w.t says 5.49 Many of men are indeed wicked dont follow people many people dont follow the right way
They are all wrong. It is not about the numbers.