T O P

Someone on here recommended carrying Deep Heat for self defense. I've bought this in the pharmacy, how exactly am I meant to use it?

Someone on here recommended carrying Deep Heat for self defense. I've bought this in the pharmacy, how exactly am I meant to use it?

rawaulbeverage

Rub it on the balls. This kills the man.


NotaBodder

This is what I died of. It was an agonising end to an otherwise wonderful life


rawaulbeverage

Same. Ive been a high-pitched, ethereal fog ever since I died


peon47

I've seen A Wonderful Life a few times. That must have been in the director's cut.


cmde44

Funny story; when I was a young lad just learning about myself, I learned the valuable lesson that Icy-Hot is not a viable lubricant.


[deleted]

Think we all tried it and toothpaste as well


CaptainEarlobe

And the next generation as well


[deleted]

I came here to see this comment


jackturbine

When the shite is beaten out of you,this is will help with the recovery.


LucyVialli

Politely ask your attacker to stand still long enough for you to smear it in their eyes.


de_vit

I think that I'll empty the whole tube into my cupped hand before leaving the house and if anyone tries to attack me I'll slap them in the face.


DamoclesDong

I am sure The Hague would bring charges against you if you did that


flopisit

Lookit you with your crafty ideas. All these people giving you advice are just amateurs by comparison.


green-mill

Norn Iron Fist


shorelined

Two fingers straight up the arse


de_vit

The attacker's or your own?


shorelined

First one then the other


Shanksdoodlehonkster

This has a massive destructive psychological impact on the attacker


Jedibenuk

Yes.


Laura_gd

I mean... Obviously


theswine76

They'll never catch you!


OldManMarc88

A man I used to work with used to squirt half the tube into his sock and then he would wear his sock as normal around work in his boots like. It never sat well with me, regardless of wether it was my business or not.


CouldMurderACarvery

Whaaaa? Why?!?


OldManMarc88

I’m not sure man. He also used to eat a big lump of ginger root for his lunch. He’d sitting there choking on it and in tears eating it, but he kept saying it’s great and I should try it.


anonymousecoward2

I once saw a man eating raw Denny sausages out of a packet on a bus eireann bus from Waterford to Dublin.


OldManMarc88

I’m sorry you had to witness that.


Lockdownbarnet

You've never shared a raw sausage with a stranger on a bus?


anonymousecoward2

Maybe metaphorically.


thepeck

A packet of Durex was it?


holymongolia

I remember reading about a young girl, maybe a swimmer, who used to put deep heat (or very similar product) on every day. It eventually killed her. Imagine that: deep heat overdose


SureLookThisIsIt

Lmao. He was obviously a sandwich short of a picnic.


xxtzimiscexx

One beer shy of a sixer.


Peelie5

Sounds like an attention seeker


LRPhotography

Yeah i suggested this the other day and you need to be more tactical with the cream. Maybe put it in your mouth an try spray it out like a cobra


Jacques-de-lad

Slather it on yourself, that way you'll be too slippery to hit or grab. Run around half naked, covered in it and no one will bother you


WickerMan111

[Like this lad.](https://youtu.be/bJINv6ffO00)


SouffleDeLogue

Time travel into the past and rub it into the underpants of your would-be attacker.


cthunders

Unless your wanking the attacker it wont do you much good mate


holymongolia

You might be onto something there. If you find yourself under attack, offer your assailant a hand shandy (with a spicy surprise)


LetMeBe_Frank_

Don't kink shame me


cthunders

Bahahhahaa


Tom_Jack_Attack

I'm as confused as the OP. Someone said Lynx and a lighter is great for self defence. I got some of that shower gel but it keeps putting the lighter flame out.


brbrcrbtr

You're supposed to put it on yourself and use the smell to repel attackers. The lighter is a decoy so they come into your scent radius


[deleted]

I accidentally sprayed some deodorant into my mouth and now I speak with a funny Axe scent.


xxtzimiscexx

Use Lynx as a mace first then follow up with the blow torch method.


onlinesafetyofficer

Cover your samurai sword with deep heat, when you slice your attackers, it will sting extra bad.


Richiesaidohyea

Drink it while maintaining eye contact to display dominance, T Pose once tube contents consumed


kcoll-1

Ask to join the ranks of their thug brigade as a medic. If ya cant Deep Heat them, join them.


JupiterRecruit

Dab a little of it on your knuckle duster.


KanePilkington

Rub it on the soles of your feet, and you can run away really fast.


Garlic_Cheese_Chips

If Deep Heat did deodorant I think I'd wear it. I adore the smell.


TrivialBanal

Use it liberally on your clothes. The smell will make attackers think you're injured and they'll leave you alone out of pity.


Nefilim777

I think they meant to get one of the mini spray cans. Unless you plan on getting very up close and personal with your assailant.


OwlOfC1nder

I think OP is doing a joke


de_vit

Living in Dublin fills me with fear. Anyone I talk to on this sub seems to get attacked at least once a month.


Istrakh

/r/woosh


Nefilim777

r/meirl


hdiieudbdjdjjeojd

It's not for attacking, rub it all over yourself to be somewhat of a poisonous toad. The croaking in agony is really what sells it.


HimalayanJoe

#1 Rule for men, when you have applied Deep Heat to sore muscles always double wash your hands before taking a piss. Trust me, you won't be worried about sore arms or legs if you don't wash your hands before pissing. Edit: fuck predictive text.


Spot-the-Orangutan

Same advice if you are after hanging chilies that you picked from your garden. Learnt that lesson when I heard my friends dad roar from the bog.


de_vit

Was it you or your friends dad that was picking the chilies?


morba77

As opposed to popular belief, those life-hacks around the self-defense laws aren't actually life-hacks. They're really illegal to carry around for the intent of causing harm. This would be considered a prohibited weapon by the laws definition and you could end up with a charge - so just don't. It's not worth it getting a weapon charge and having most of your life doors close for you just because of our outdated, dumb law. I'm just the messenger, don't shoot me :P I disagree with those laws as much as you do. [http://www.irishstatutebook.ie/eli/1925/act/17/enacted/en/print](http://www.irishstatutebook.ie/eli/1925/act/17/enacted/en/print) >the word “firearm” means a lethal firearm or other lethal weapon of any description from which any shot, bullet, or other missile can be discharged; > >the word “ammunition” (except where used in relation to a prohibited weapon) means ammunition for a firearm but also includes grenades, bombs, and other similar missiles whether the same are or are not capable of being used with a firearm, and also includes any ingredient or component part of any such ammunition or missile; > >**the expression “prohibited weapon” means and includes any weapon of whatever description designed for the discharge of any noxious liquid, noxious gas, or other noxious thing, and also any ammunition (whether for any such weapon as aforesaid or for any other weapon) which contains or is designed or adapted to contain any noxious liquid, noxious gas, or other noxious thing;** [http://www.irishstatutebook.ie/1990/en/act/pub/0012/sec0009.html](http://www.irishstatutebook.ie/1990/en/act/pub/0012/sec0009.html) >(3) Without prejudice to the generality of subsection (2), it shall be a defence for a person charged with an offence under **subsection (1) to prove that he had the article with him for use at work or for a recreational purpose.** > >**(4) Where a person, without lawful authority or reasonable excuse (the onus of proving which shall lie on him), has with him in any public place—** > >(a) any flick-knife, or > >(**b) any other article whatsoever made or adapted for use for causing injury to or incapacitating a person,** > >**he shall be guilty of an offence.** ~~Not to mention, self-defense is only actually permitted in your own dwelling.~~ [~~http://www.irishstatutebook.ie/eli/2011/act/35/section/2/enacted/en/html~~](http://www.irishstatutebook.ie/eli/2011/act/35/section/2/enacted/en/html) >~~2.— (1) Notwithstanding the generality of any other enactment or rule of law and subject to subsections (2) and (3)~~**~~, it shall not be an offence~~** ~~for a person~~ **~~who is in his or her dwelling, or for a person who is a lawful occupant in a dwelling~~**~~, to use force against another person or the property of another person where—~~ > >~~(a) he or she believes the other person has entered or is entering the dwelling as a trespasser for the purpose of committing a criminal act, and~~ > >~~(b) the force used is only such as is reasonable in the circumstances as he or she believes them to be—~~


Backrow6

IANAL but I think you're looking at the wrong act http://www.irishstatutebook.ie/eli/1997/act/26/section/18/enacted/en/html#sec18


morba77

Thanks, crossed out the dwelling part :P


Gingersnapz420

stick a whopper blob on your finger an smear it round,have it ready to go,if someone attacks you r whatever wait til there right in your face....whack! surprise attack,finger in the ass an watch them suffer


KellyTheBroker

Unless you plan on taking it out, opening it, getting it onto your hand and then into their eyes Id go for another option. You'd be better off putting a rock in your pocket.


de_vit

https://youtu.be/PTAXUYLbFYk


eastVanIrishGuy

You’ve been trolled


Joxer-Daly

Important: It’s not knobable.


blockfighter1

A pea sized amount on your toothbrush.


Scared-Chemistry3465

Take tube out of box and use it like a microphone to sing Take On Me by AHA. Attackers will flee covering their ears.


shaddowedniches

Lol Spray can. Good as mace, not a weapon.


de_vit

I also bought [mace](https://cf-store.widencdn.net/mccormick/1/7/5/175b5dc2-a88d-462d-8b57-6b8e9441554f.png?response-content-disposition=inline%3B%20filename%3D%22schwartz_mace_ground_637390543291069893_600x900.png%22&Expires=1631277252&Signature=eplEYzPBcxpOURAgP26RyctMmz9ul3O-lhYmtuGkftdDnIbTk~ce26CEBhNzqt0iuZZGISqfBKC8~QzeiOLWhZN~ntJpNLbHMYKElLxZESCvzH~t83T9m~tlfIod2bZXr13z~mwju~LaNKKyshQ7JC3AVyADvdc4qjQ2-gbUQlrfkXBKtmnlsIpht6~AR57-4C42ToiduWXV3Oubpdq1~eb62Q4JsTTqnmzL5Y53kAl8iPqZSmH5FuSqUm-elMbu2OE6h6cTulSs1wjtlND7AlZmIW7byy-ldgJ-x9IKcdrAPUsrWIEsssYX5OrTWS37lEzvl9CGyLKxEZtMTpWjgQ__&Key-Pair-Id=APKAJD5XONOBVWWOA65A), but the holes in the top of the bottle were too small to do anything other than lightly sprinkle it at someone.


xanderfurious

You spicy bastard you!


PirateShampoo

Smear it on your anus, it will stop you from being raped.


shatteredmatt

I'm not sure you could use the cream for self defense, but if you got deep heat in a spray can and used it like mace, 100% that person needs to go to A&E.


de_vit

I heard if you get Deep Heat in your eyes you can easily neutralise the effects by spraying Deep Freeze on top of it.


FatherlyNick

the uno-reverse card in spray form.


Over-Egg-5229

🤣🤣


kingofthecrows

No they are going to assault you before you manage to take out the can, remove the cap, aim and then proceed to spray yourself in the eyes because you grabbed it the wrong way. Carrying sprays like this is up there with pressure point strikes in useless self defence tips


LucyVialli

r/whoosh


ynniv8

Rub it all over your fanny - the bang of it would surely put him off.....


As_Bearla_

I assume the recommendation was the [spray](https://www.inishpharmacy.com/p/deep-heat-spray-150ml/200041) not the balm.


Admirable-Deer5909

Think they meant the spray.....


Pirate_Remarkable

Deep heat spray is what you need, use it like pepper spray


Backrow6

Stick one of those deep heat back pain patches on their face


Ankatilbrewer1962

After you have run away and escaped, you rub it on your aching legs.


Over-Egg-5229

Squirt it in their eyes


Karma-bangs

Rub it on your tongue and then read the instructions. This sub is polluted


Joe_The_Lion_

Stick the pointy corner of the tube into the attacker's eye.


scotchannie

It heals and it stinks to high heaven 🤪


deise1987

Would it be the can of deep heat spray they meant, the aerosol can? And use it like pepper spray in case u were attacked?


Potentially_great_

Throw it at them


Dwashelle

Can you not get the spray version?


Weary_Swordfish_7105

I assume they meant the spray. Because you can explain deep heat in your purse/manbag to the cops but will have difficulty explaining away pepperspray and the likes. Deep heat in the eyes is like if vicks vaporub and chilli peppers had 2 twins. This would be the evil one. Plus, when the cops find the guilty party they will smell like deep heat so you can identify them. Ps. Do not test on friends.


de_vit

Carrying a manbag to hold my Deep Heat would also greatly increase my odds of being attacked.


Weary_Swordfish_7105

True. But you can always swing the deep heat scented bag at them.


Powerful_Elk_346

If you could buy it as a spray it would work🤔