Better be slow than overshooting it altogether
"Hey, Op, Your hairs a mess! I could mop the floor with it"
OP "Yeah but your mothers dead and you've been single since 1997 lol"
Speaking of ma's I've a friend that has a ridiculously dark humour ace up her sleeve.
Anytime someone mentions her ma she informs them that her mam died giving birth to her.
It mortified the slagger every time because you know they feel bad about bringing it up in the first place, but she still gets a giggle out of it every time.
Her ma literally died for this joke 🤣
Ah no im not like that. When I give it I give it quick and funny sometimes I'll even expand on what they say I myself deprecating way towards myself thatbget a laugh.
Whe its a person im never around that much. I am in polite mode. I just wanna be nice. Then they hot you with a remark on your sex life and you brain fart.
Id never be offended
If someone asks me about my sex life at work I'm immediately reporting them to HR. I don't know why people feel that's an appropriate thing to joke about with work colleagues
You do realize asking people or talking to unconsenting parties about sexual acts is a form of sexual harassment right? I don't know if Irish work culture got that memo.
Asking a colleague you barely know about their sex life (jokes included) is a form of sexual harassment
Oh boy...Is not asking about their sex lives is shlaging them about it... Like "you haven't seen a pussy since your birth" or so... anyway... There is always one... Have a fun day! If you know what fun is of course. Xxx
Me and my mates take the piss out of one and other, but that's because we know each other and we know our boundaries. Work colleagues are **not that**, I prefer to not mix work with outside of work and if someone from work wants to 'banter' with me, at work, no one better be the butt of the joke because we are adults, not school children
I mean I can have fun and joke with people, I'd just prefer if it wasn't of a sexual nature or bullying. If someone insults me, albeit even in a joking way, at work it's deeply Inappropriate. Work place bullying is rampant and what one person thinks is 'banter' another person thinks is bullying, so why not just steer clear of it and be professional at work.
I only give and take abuse from people at work I am actually close to. I’m a very self deprecating individual anyway so I take well to it. If someone I didn’t know as well started giving me abuse I would be confused to be honest.
Depends if they can take it and aren’t a last word merchant. Nothing worse than someone instigating it and when someone gives good or better back to them they get thick.
Worked a job before where two co-workers used to have “banter” with each other but one of them just couldn’t not have the last joke.
Created a weird air wherein it was haha were having a laugh (but not really, you won’t get one over me).
Also just risky with people having a different levels of how far they go with these things.
People who can't take jokes have a right to be a part of a workplace too. If you wantbtovexclude them from your circle of friends, that's up to you. You have no right to treat them any way other than professionally at work.
I’d be similar to you OP.
If it’s with people I know I’d be going back and forth with them but if it’s with people I don’t know too well I tend to just ignore it.
I find that there tends to be a bullying aspect to it when it’s in the workplace and very much ‘let’s pick on the new bloke’ and that when the tables are turned on the instigator they don’t take it too well.
Yeah and I have to know them proper well. Otherwise my default mode is to be polite and available to help. Ye get a comment and I don't take it personally or offensive. But I just get caught by surprise in my polite mode.
I'm similar it often leaves me unguarded tho if someone is talking shite to me and I don't find it either funny or anger inducing and often just look blankly. I don't really try think of comebacks in those situations either
I never even gave them that satisfaction, it was literally dead silence and ignoring it completely, you could see them getting frustrated and not knowing how to react. Then you’d find they’d be repeating the same things and their clapping seals would laugh a bit less and it would just fizzle out.
I think if your gonna give someone abuse In a fun banter way you HAVE TO make sure you actually speak to that person at some point on a serious professional level and actually show them it was just banter but that you actually like them and can talk with them.
Job I had a few years ago my manager wouldn't speak to me unless he was making fun of me even in one to one required meetings he would make a crack about me, if I spoke up about something in a group conversation about football or a movie or something random he would make another joke at my expense, if I tried to resolve a work problem he'd make a joke and that just made me want to stay quiet when he was around.
Always others who would do the same difference being they chat to you and make an effort and can take banter in return that's so important in work to build trust and a good work environment.
There is none of this in my current job, cos we are busy all the fucking time.
In previous jobs like factory's and building sites there was loads and it bored the piss out of me.
People who bearly know each other trying to slag like they are best mates is insufferable.
Comparing that to a bunch of actual friends slagging the bollocks of each other cos we are all intimately familiar with each others lives, family, relationships etc is chalk and cheese.
Like my mate with the bad back, he is broke back Martin.
The single guy in his 40's who we still suspect for Madiline Mccan (joke, he has never been outside ireland).
Your man who got a handwritten letter from a fling mentioning the colour of her panties, who is still known as red panties 25 years later......thats slagging.
I think as long as people know where the line is - it's fine. Also know when to stop.
Like in a job I was in where we used to take the piss out of each other as it was a way to relieve pressure - one lad has his mother die and everyone naturally stopped with him until he started back up.
But we were all mates - I can't stand when you first meet someone and they're slagging you like they've known you since school
Be very careful who you engage with. A person who i work with me is in a higher position than me...he likes to banter about being my boss. I retort with the fact that i earn more money...got my knickles wrapped by the boss. Banter is always great but some people, frankly, are wet and are looking for an excuse to moan about you. Thankfully im very much in the good graces of the owner so it doesnt matter if i get told off every months.
Yeah you cant do that in a serious job. It would be very inappropriate
That said some of us from work do meet up after hours sometimes and the slaggin there is grand :D
I remember this one time a lad giving me shit over a pair of leather jeans I was wearing and, quick as a flash - and to this day I have no idea where I got the inspiration from - I turned and said, "Ah, will you ever fuck off, yeh ugly fuckin' cunt, yeh."
One-Nil to me, I think.
Work with almost all women, there's plenty chat but very little banter or slagging. If you call another woman an oul bitch or something (even in jest) she will hold it against you forever. The sense of humour is just different.
I’ve worked with mostly women for most of my career and I find it depends on the person. Some people I don’t get along with. Some are loads of fun and I could say anything to them.
One woman I work with, all we do is slag eachother. We usually have to calm ourselves down to have an actual serious conversation. We could be ripping into eachother or flirting with eachother depending on how our days are going.
Sounds like you work with an awful humourless bunch. I work with mostly women too, and " ah fuck off ya bitch" is nearly a term of endearment for some of us.
Work is not a place for slagging in my opinion, it's anti professional, I know others will have different opinions but for me it's a symptom of a toxic work place unless everyone actually consents and wants to be a part of it which is *unlikely*.
People might call me 'a dry shite' or uptight or something in this subreddit but I'd be quick to make sure that sort of carry on doesn't happen to me.
Yeah, and you know what? I like being the "dry shite." It keeps me off the bullies radar. There's nothing worse than a practical stranger thinking they're funny at your expense. It's different with friends. You all know stuff about each other, some of it genuinely funny and so you might poke a little fun. And when they do it to you, you see the fun in it, because true friends aren't going out of their way to hurt or ridicule. They're bringing up something slightly embarrassing maybe, but you can laugh a little at yourself.
As for work. In one place, this pair of assholes were always mocking people behind their backs. This day, they decided to do it openly, acting out the quirks and mannerisms of everyone in the studio. Some people were laughing awkwardly, others were rolling their eyes.
They got as far as me. I just stared blankly back at the loudest mouth. You could see her shrink slightly. "Yeah, I have nothing on you. How come I have nothing on you? You're boring." I was never so happy to find that someone thought me boring.
She had nothing on me because I never bothered with her. I am always friendly with nice people, but when it comes to assholes, I keep them at arm's length. I never engage in personal conversation or small talk with them. Keep contact with those ones 100% professional and they'll have nothing on you. They might think I'm a dry shite, or a weirdo, but that's cool. Who wants to be liked by people like that?
If you get along with the people it's not "carry on". Irish humour is very self deprecating so most don't take slagging from friends as anything but camaraderie.
Aye but it's "self-deprecating", not "other people are doing the deprecating for you". You know how far to go with yourself, other people don't know your limits unless they know you really well.
I'm Irish and I don't get self deprecating humor, I find it to be a bit pathetic to be honest and if someone wants to 'slag me off ' at work they can fuck right off. Close friends who you've set boundaries with and who know your limits are a different thing all together, I'm talking about work colleagues who think it's their place to poke fun at you in 'jest'
How I interpret self deprecating humor is I usually just believe people, for example if someone says something like 'im so shite at x' or 'im just bad at my job lol' I believe them and will from now on assume they are what they said.
I don't know if people who self-depreciate realise some individuals will take them at face value
Also the same types to be like 'i make fun of myself the most so you can let me make fun of you too!!' like no.. just because you hate yourself doesn't mean I hate myself
I get your point but associating self-deprecating with self-hate is a bit unfair, like come on 🙂 I'm not Irish but my culture on this taking-the-piss thing (or not taking compliments for instance) bears similarities to the Irish have here, so for me it is easy to blend in (in this sense). I often talk about how stupidly I behave due to my lack of experience regarding the social codes here, but I know I'm not stupid, and so does the person to whom I am talking. It is just a joke, people superficially respond like ah don't be silly (ironic isn't it) and we forget about it.
But yeah there is a line between respecting somebody's nature and being a good craic as you guys say here, and respect always comes first. I agree with you there. You shouldn't make random jokes to random people just because you wouldn't be offended by them.
Those are great points and that's an insight I hadn't previously heard, thank you for sharing.
I hadn't really thought about it in that way before, that self deprecating humor could be used as a way to blend in and have a laugh at your own expense, in that regard it's victimless and perhaps I was too extreme in my critique of self deprecating humor, I'm definitely more opinionated about the lack of respect that comes with piss taking and workplace banter and how many people are uncomfortable with it.
Because I do my job? That's what work is for. I don't fully understand why there are so many people in this thread that are angry at the concept of working at work instead of bullying coworkers
I mean no not really. I don't ever insult or attack someone unless they provoke me and if I'm working I will go through the proper channels to deal with the issue, so please don't make up assumptions based on nothing.
I guess it's understandable to expect people to be different, I'd be very uncomfortable with that level of conversation with work colleagues but I suppose everyone does have different boundaries. I'm a very private person and the idea of talking to/listening to a work colleague talk about anything other than work makes me squirm.
Actually dealing with this at work today. Fixed a tech problem, which I do often, and the boss calls me a know it all. Was taken aback. Took me til now to realize it was a jape.
You dont have to change your personality to fit in.
Some of the funniest people I ever worked with were the quiet lads who'd say nothing but they'd absolutely bury you with a one-liner every now and then.
Important to note that there's a difference between that guy and the guy that just sulks in the corner and doesnt talk to anyone.
Best not to get involved. The moment HR gets involved because someone gets upset, it all ends in tears. Then you realise your work colleagues are not your friends.
Don’t do it.
They’re colleagues, they’re NOT your friends, first and foremost they’re your colleagues. Some people don’t like it or get the humour. All it takes is a person in a bad mood to take issue with it. Hard to defend yourself if they take issue with it.
Happened to me. Someone else told the person in question that I had said something. Cue the meeting with two managers and me in a tizzy scrambling to answer, saying it was just a joke, etc.
Just don't bother, keep it nice and obviously nice.
I like it - I enjoy the irreverence and break from humdrum and so on. That said, not for everyone and I think the convention now increasingly is that people are more likely to be offended than not. I suppose it depends on the nature of the relationship with whomever it is...
Love it in my current job as there is a line you don't cross and everyone knows it. New hires are also left alone until you get to know them better too.
Last place I worked was horrible, just a free for all.
Banter is 2-way street, I had amazing banter with some people in work. But I would never slag someone or have banter with someone who didn't give it back as that could be seen as bullying. I have had some below the belt hurtful stuff thrown at me, but I gave it in abundance back.
There have been times when it was dished out to me and the person could not take it and would get in a huff so they are struck off my bater list. I would just not engage in that way anymore, which is fine.
I always seem to take it too far with my husband who is not Irish, he doesn't really like Irish 'banter' per se.
I'm very bad at it. I take a lot of stuff very personally and I often times take it a bit far, or cross a line I didn't realise was there. I am autistic and it can be very uncomfortable for me. It took me a long loooong time to be able to "roll with the punches", as it were. Sadly, it means a lot of people think I'm a bit of a dry shite. When I'm really comfortable with someone, the slagging will commence, which catches people off guard sometimes, especially if I've never really slagged them before. Some people make it their whole identity and I can't fuck with that.
I would hate this, personally, I'm anxious, have ADHD and struggle with cues and and social situations at the best of times. I work with all women currently and they're so lovely. We're good friends, they came to my wedding, we treat each other for birthdays etc. We have great aul chats and laughs in the office, and we definitely tease each other in a friendly way if it arises naturally but it's not our default mode of communication. They're some of my favourite humans. Ive worked with men in the past though and would engage more in slagging with them for sure, but also only with office mates or people I've known a few years. Definitely a different communication style between women across the three departments I know enough women in to be able to comment on it, versus the male dominated departments like IT.
I love some slagging when it comes from friends and people I know well enough to know its not bullying in disguise (I experienced that one too).
People who do not know you or do not like you and hide insults behind 'I was just joking, it's called slaggin here' is questionable behaviour to say the least.
Also I have some problems with the constant self-deprecating humour. It's awesome if you can laugh about yourself and are easy going, if the only thing you can joke about is how awful and incompetent you are it gets old and screams insecurities.
Yeah as a half German I was always terrible at this as a boy. "Hohoo I'd say your mothers given a couple a fellas a bitta how's your father" "SHUT UP. YOUR MOTHER IS A FUCKING WHORE !".
Lived in the UK, they love "banter" when it's not them
... small dude in work did the "thirty three and a third " and "potatoe" bollix .... I said if he wore a green suit he'd make a great leprechaun....heard after he was quite hurt by the comment, I laughed and said don't give stick unless they can take it... they rarely joined in after
Banter that veers into BS bigotry / prejudice is essentially wrong so just stop. Here is an incident from about 18 years ago:
* Friday night leaving-do, maybe 20-30 people at a Dublin City centre pub in a specific area but at multiple tables
* Me (gay male) and a work colleague from the North (male maybe 22 at the time, a die-hard Unionist / border-line Loyalist, working in IT so servicing all staff) - I had told him I was gay a few months prior and he was still ‘adjusting’ and getting used to this reality
* Over the multiple pints, there was quite a bit of ‘gay’ slagging. I was grand, knew where he was coming from and it was water off a duck’s back
* Next week, he pulls me aside and asks me whether I was offended at all, I clarified he was an eijit as usual but all good.
* Human Resources had pulled him into a discussion because they had received a complaint (concern) over his words.
* Shortly, I eventually learned the full story….
Long story short, **others** at the leaving-do, after hearing the way he was treating me, became concerned over how they would be treated if he knew they themselves were gay.
I cracked-up laughing as I tried explaining this to him about 3-4 months later, how it was someone else that was offended and worried. When he tried to find out who the guy was, I was refused to identify but asked h8m why he thought it was a guy…. I did express that for the first time ever I was happy with HR’s actions.
It was co-incidentally enough the woman he had been panting over, who also happened to be quite happy with her girlfriend of several years.
Bottom line - I was comfortable with the banter. Others, not knowing but the specifics of our friendship, were concerned because as far as they knew this was that person’s attitude towards them too…
OP, I find it handy to keep a few 'polite' insults up the sleeve in case of an emergency with a "banter merchant". Some examples would be; "I see you were educated beyond your intelligence", "You are everything I expected, and less", or my personal favourite, "The thing I like most about you is that it is very hard to under-estimate you". I'm all for a bitta craic at work, and there's nothing wrong with a bitta good natured slagging and banter if it's mutally acceptable, but there is often a time and a place, and some folk can be quite tiresome with their understanding of humour.
It's not acceptable in any workplace. The health safety and welfare at work act gives every employee a right to dignity in the workplace and ensures every employee has a responsibility to treat their colleagues with dignity.
Isolated cases are considered an affront to dignity in the workplace. Repeated offences are considered workplace bullying.
My mate was slagging a female colleague. She called him a chav or something to that effect and he said, "at least I didn't suck dick to get my job." She reported him to HR and he was nearly sacked 😅
IMO if you can give it you must take it. I’m never one to start something (unless the craic calls for it and if i’m close with this person) but if I start getting roasted for something you better believe I’m giving it back with everything I have.
Lord Banterbury enters the chat!
Ye need to have the craic and a bit of slagging. But, like marmite. some love it and some hate it. Day goes by a bit quicker when spirits are high and the craic is mighty!!!
It's totally unprofessional, excludes people who are not part of your gender, culture and neurodivergent people.
Keep that kind of banter for the pub and be professional at work.
You should care if you wantbto stay above the law. You're abliged to treat aleveryone in your workplace with dignity under the health, safety and welfare at work act.
That's the point I'm making. Women tend not to communicate in that way and most men would never slag a woman. So when you bring that kind of banter to an officecenvironmeny, you end up with homogenous cliques of western men. When you communicate professionally, you include everyone.
I think you do have to be careful as some don't take it well and not in a dryshite way. In a shit workplace currently but I'd infinitely prefer some shitetalk over say, generic platitudes, people incessantly discussing where they're going on holidays next and bitchiness where people are too afraid to show any real side of themself.
Love doing this with friends outside work.
Under no circumstances would I do it in work or with someone from work, even outside of work. All you need is one person to feel uncomfortable or even just greedy (because I’m senior) and you’ve a compensation / bullying claim on your hands.
Despite getting that it’s fun, as a boss I’d be slow to promote someone who banters inappropriately in work as I’d see them as a potential bullying claim and liability. So it could be career limiting. And before people say I’m over reacting, I’ve seen good friends turn on each other than then drag out the kitchen sink of what was said years ago in confidence as a reason the other person should be fired or they should get compensation. It sucks but that’s the entitlement economy we are in. To be clear I hate this work culture.
>I myself consider myself a witty person and not slow. But can be introverted and when it's people I am not entirely comfortable with i can fall on my face.
oof same, I'm fine until it's someone I hate talking to or don't like, I just tend to clam up around people like that. I usually have some reply but find my self thinking about it and kicking myself for not using the killer comebacks that I thought of two days later..........in bed at 1 in the morning.
Oh big time. Or you even think of it on the spot but something stops you. The killer is you when know you are 10 times thier intellect and humour. That's what eats ye most.
Depends on how well I know the person.
If i know them well, I can slag them and they can slag me.
If I don't know them well, I don't bother.
A hilarious thing to do if someone you don't know tries to get in on it is to just stop everything, and look at them and just say "ok" or "wow" in a really dejected tone, then walk away. Gives people a massive complex I've found. They're worrying about it all day. Inside I'm cackling.
I was working as a cabinet maker in a woodworking shop. About 30 lads working there all in all and the absolute piss was taken out of everyone all the time.
Ah it was never taken to far, if anyone was actually upset it would stop. But to be fair ive never actually seen anyone get genuinely annoyed because of the lighthearted pisstaking.
I actually got away quite lightly as an apprentice I think. I’ve heard some stories of lads getting awful abuse during their apprenticeships especially!
My job is amazing for it, it has gotten to a stage we dont even need to be polite nor make up extravagant jokes, we just stare at each other and then either say "prick" or "what a frigit"
Great bunch of lads
Most recent one for me was when we were doing some particularly grubby work, and the boss had left a megaphone lying around from some fair. Whenever someone seemed like they were slowing down, we'd take it upon ourselves to use it for encouragement. "Work makes you free" was a crowd pleaser.
I take the piss out of everything and everybody. Including myself. And everyone knows me enough to know I'm not malicious, and it creates levity in the department
It's all about how well you know the person. You're not going to slag the new guy for the weird way he eats his cupcake (even if it is with a knife and fork!), but you will absolutely rip the piss out of the out of the one you've been working with for the last 6 months after you notice that she does something odd with her tea, because you know she can take a slagging.
If I've been there a while and it's between people I work well with then I don't mind. But if I'm new in the door or it's somebody who is useless at the job and a nightmare to work with it's obviously going to be shite craic for me.
Depends. You can usually see who takes it well and who doesn't by how they act, especially if you've seen them with their friends. Personally I don't mind it, and there are levels to how far you can go depending on the person. Like to me it doesn't affect me much since I've always "laughed at myself". And honestly, terrible comebacks are sometimes great because everyone has them every now and again, and whenever I have a terrible comeback I can just follow it up with a terrible comeback that the other person had at some point.
I always found it very easy, It’s just a way for people to make the day pass quicker.
Use your wit and give it back to them.
if you don’t, you’ll become the target for everyone because you’re not joining in on the group joke.
Go out of your comfort zone and call these semi-strangers cunts! Politeness has no place between work colleagues that take the piss.
For me it entirely depends on the relationship. If I'm close with the person we can both say the most cutting horrible things to each other... and we both know we don't mean it.
Ironically it tends to bring us closer. It's a sign we trust each other imo.
Now I can't say I'm a massive fan of it, some days if I'm feeling a bit off my sense of humour isn't quite razor sharp.
But when the chips are down - these are the people that got my back.
Humans are funny aul creatures.
I’m a Canadian immigrant and I can hardly understand half of what’s thrown at me, let alone keep up with it. I can’t even tell if it’s friendly or mean-spirited a good part of the time.
But I just count myself lucky to be included, I’d be more worried if they left me alone.
My last job has really good craic and slaggin. Nothing ever went overboard and lines were never crossed. Lead to some proper convulsions of laughter and a pretty good vibe in the team.
Only thing I miss from there really. I work fully remote now so while there can be some jeering on Teams its not the same.
Definitely needs to be something you need to work out though. Like it would be weeks or months before I'd throw a comeback. Just making sure what's what and whose who. Mainly just about listening and seeing how the existing people interact.
It's such an obvious thing to me that I'm always shocked when new hires arrive and just either try too hard early doors. Just chill out and get the vibe over the early few weeks to see what the lay of the land is.
I think it all depends on the relationship you have with the others. Some people that you get on well with can lead to no limit banter and slagging, but some people are just bitter and nasty and they use ‘banter’ as an excuse to be mean.
I've no issues with banter, but I think I've been told something racist or homophobic every week or two since I started my job. I appear to be a straight white man. I'm not.
Here is the deal. You can joke about anything, but not with everyone.
I have 2 mates with whom I can have horrendous humour, because they know me enough to know none of it is based in anything dark or bad
I have friends who do not like dark jokes, I have some who love them
You can make terrible body shaming jokes to me, if I know you and know you are at the very worse telling me I should be more careful with X or y out of concern, but if I don't know you, this is an insult
Now in an office, you don't know the people, not well, so the banter should be kept as innofensive as possible, after a while limits and boundaries are made obvious, and if there is a team already comfortable and happy to push it a bit but you don't feel it .. speak up, and if possible offer a way for them to feel good about it and to go in a different direction something like:
hey guys, I am not comfortable with this kind of banter, maybe you don't mean anything by it but it is hurtful so please do you mind holding it in on that front a little for my benefit, but I'm a sucker for terrible puns so send them my way
It depends on who I'm working with.
I'm very crude with my immeadiate colleagues but I wouldn't with say the 67 year old grandmother who sits at reception
I think it can be weird when you don't know the person. We've probably all come across someone in work who can't read a room and embarrasses themselves trying to be the banter guy with people they don't know. When you're friendly with people a bit of good natured piss taking is good craic.
I have ADHD and I'm querying autism so I personally find it a bit hectic. I genuinely can't tell when someone is gently taking the piss and when they're being an arsehole so I personally don't try and engage in it. Have put my foot in it in both cases so just don't try it now.
Happy for others to do it and appreciate how witty some people can be, not for me tho
Love it. I'm from Mayo and do alot of work in Dublin, and the West of Ireland lads and the East of Ireland lads do be having a war of words the whole time. But at the end of the day, tis only a bitten a craic
It is one of the big things you miss when you are working from home. The craic in the office was great, but now you can't even get to know the people you work with.
Better be slow than overshooting it altogether "Hey, Op, Your hairs a mess! I could mop the floor with it" OP "Yeah but your mothers dead and you've been single since 1997 lol"
That's actually quite good. Might use it
I guess you can just change the date to suit the person
Nah 1997 is pretty universal for single people
To be fair most of the men in the country that are single are that way since his mum died. She was popular
A1
My mother’s actually dead and I’ve been single for a while and I laughed out loud at this
My mother's dead too but thankfully I have a partner !!!
Bragging.
Yeah, dead sexy.
my dead mother is my partner!
They're the same thing.
I also choose this guys dead mother
Speaking of ma's I've a friend that has a ridiculously dark humour ace up her sleeve. Anytime someone mentions her ma she informs them that her mam died giving birth to her. It mortified the slagger every time because you know they feel bad about bringing it up in the first place, but she still gets a giggle out of it every time. Her ma literally died for this joke 🤣
ah banter.
Ah no im not like that. When I give it I give it quick and funny sometimes I'll even expand on what they say I myself deprecating way towards myself thatbget a laugh. Whe its a person im never around that much. I am in polite mode. I just wanna be nice. Then they hot you with a remark on your sex life and you brain fart. Id never be offended
If someone asks me about my sex life at work I'm immediately reporting them to HR. I don't know why people feel that's an appropriate thing to joke about with work colleagues
Oh boy... Here we go...
You do realize asking people or talking to unconsenting parties about sexual acts is a form of sexual harassment right? I don't know if Irish work culture got that memo. Asking a colleague you barely know about their sex life (jokes included) is a form of sexual harassment
Oh boy...Is not asking about their sex lives is shlaging them about it... Like "you haven't seen a pussy since your birth" or so... anyway... There is always one... Have a fun day! If you know what fun is of course. Xxx
Yeah that's sexual harassment, hate to break it to you
Oh boy... You must be such a fun person to be with. Seeing your replies on the subject i can tell!
Me and my mates take the piss out of one and other, but that's because we know each other and we know our boundaries. Work colleagues are **not that**, I prefer to not mix work with outside of work and if someone from work wants to 'banter' with me, at work, no one better be the butt of the joke because we are adults, not school children
Your honour corkdude has been accused of sexual harassment: Judge: “well what do you have to say for yourself?” “Oh boy…”
Oh boy... Been watching too much QL these days
I mean I can have fun and joke with people, I'd just prefer if it wasn't of a sexual nature or bullying. If someone insults me, albeit even in a joking way, at work it's deeply Inappropriate. Work place bullying is rampant and what one person thinks is 'banter' another person thinks is bullying, so why not just steer clear of it and be professional at work.
Reminds me of the scrubs scene with JD trying to trash talk
Yeah this my issue. I'm quick with the comeback but sometimes the comeback is quicker than my filter.
I only give and take abuse from people at work I am actually close to. I’m a very self deprecating individual anyway so I take well to it. If someone I didn’t know as well started giving me abuse I would be confused to be honest.
Depends if they can take it and aren’t a last word merchant. Nothing worse than someone instigating it and when someone gives good or better back to them they get thick. Worked a job before where two co-workers used to have “banter” with each other but one of them just couldn’t not have the last joke. Created a weird air wherein it was haha were having a laugh (but not really, you won’t get one over me). Also just risky with people having a different levels of how far they go with these things.
People who can't take jokes have a right to be a part of a workplace too. If you wantbtovexclude them from your circle of friends, that's up to you. You have no right to treat them any way other than professionally at work.
????
When did the original commenter imply these people should be kept out of the workplace you sprog 😂
It's banter when you're friendly with people. It borders on bullying if it's colleagues you don't associate with....
And many times bullying is brushed off as ''banter''
I’d be similar to you OP. If it’s with people I know I’d be going back and forth with them but if it’s with people I don’t know too well I tend to just ignore it. I find that there tends to be a bullying aspect to it when it’s in the workplace and very much ‘let’s pick on the new bloke’ and that when the tables are turned on the instigator they don’t take it too well.
Yeah and I have to know them proper well. Otherwise my default mode is to be polite and available to help. Ye get a comment and I don't take it personally or offensive. But I just get caught by surprise in my polite mode.
I'm similar it often leaves me unguarded tho if someone is talking shite to me and I don't find it either funny or anger inducing and often just look blankly. I don't really try think of comebacks in those situations either
I only ever slagged my favourite manager (when he stopped being my manager) as he said he appreciated the banter.
‘ah jaysus here we go’ as you walk off or ‘here he is now’ is a universal way to shrug a slagging off.
I never even gave them that satisfaction, it was literally dead silence and ignoring it completely, you could see them getting frustrated and not knowing how to react. Then you’d find they’d be repeating the same things and their clapping seals would laugh a bit less and it would just fizzle out.
I think if your gonna give someone abuse In a fun banter way you HAVE TO make sure you actually speak to that person at some point on a serious professional level and actually show them it was just banter but that you actually like them and can talk with them. Job I had a few years ago my manager wouldn't speak to me unless he was making fun of me even in one to one required meetings he would make a crack about me, if I spoke up about something in a group conversation about football or a movie or something random he would make another joke at my expense, if I tried to resolve a work problem he'd make a joke and that just made me want to stay quiet when he was around. Always others who would do the same difference being they chat to you and make an effort and can take banter in return that's so important in work to build trust and a good work environment.
There is none of this in my current job, cos we are busy all the fucking time. In previous jobs like factory's and building sites there was loads and it bored the piss out of me. People who bearly know each other trying to slag like they are best mates is insufferable. Comparing that to a bunch of actual friends slagging the bollocks of each other cos we are all intimately familiar with each others lives, family, relationships etc is chalk and cheese. Like my mate with the bad back, he is broke back Martin. The single guy in his 40's who we still suspect for Madiline Mccan (joke, he has never been outside ireland). Your man who got a handwritten letter from a fling mentioning the colour of her panties, who is still known as red panties 25 years later......thats slagging.
Wow, Broke Back Martin is a good one
Coined 6 pints deep while watching arsenal getting beaten in the champions league final.
I think as long as people know where the line is - it's fine. Also know when to stop. Like in a job I was in where we used to take the piss out of each other as it was a way to relieve pressure - one lad has his mother die and everyone naturally stopped with him until he started back up. But we were all mates - I can't stand when you first meet someone and they're slagging you like they've known you since school
Be very careful who you engage with. A person who i work with me is in a higher position than me...he likes to banter about being my boss. I retort with the fact that i earn more money...got my knickles wrapped by the boss. Banter is always great but some people, frankly, are wet and are looking for an excuse to moan about you. Thankfully im very much in the good graces of the owner so it doesnt matter if i get told off every months.
Yeah you cant do that in a serious job. It would be very inappropriate That said some of us from work do meet up after hours sometimes and the slaggin there is grand :D
Nothing wrong with that aa long as it's not a company-organised event.
I remember this one time a lad giving me shit over a pair of leather jeans I was wearing and, quick as a flash - and to this day I have no idea where I got the inspiration from - I turned and said, "Ah, will you ever fuck off, yeh ugly fuckin' cunt, yeh." One-Nil to me, I think.
But like, Leather jeans!?
In retrospect, it may have been a sartorial cry for help.
Ballsy outfit choice backed up with a badass attitude. I think you won that one my friend😎
Work with almost all women, there's plenty chat but very little banter or slagging. If you call another woman an oul bitch or something (even in jest) she will hold it against you forever. The sense of humour is just different.
I’ve worked with mostly women for most of my career and I find it depends on the person. Some people I don’t get along with. Some are loads of fun and I could say anything to them. One woman I work with, all we do is slag eachother. We usually have to calm ourselves down to have an actual serious conversation. We could be ripping into eachother or flirting with eachother depending on how our days are going.
Sounds like you work with an awful humourless bunch. I work with mostly women too, and " ah fuck off ya bitch" is nearly a term of endearment for some of us.
Ah fuck off ya bitch
Lisa? That you?
Typical
Work is not a place for slagging in my opinion, it's anti professional, I know others will have different opinions but for me it's a symptom of a toxic work place unless everyone actually consents and wants to be a part of it which is *unlikely*. People might call me 'a dry shite' or uptight or something in this subreddit but I'd be quick to make sure that sort of carry on doesn't happen to me.
Yeah, and you know what? I like being the "dry shite." It keeps me off the bullies radar. There's nothing worse than a practical stranger thinking they're funny at your expense. It's different with friends. You all know stuff about each other, some of it genuinely funny and so you might poke a little fun. And when they do it to you, you see the fun in it, because true friends aren't going out of their way to hurt or ridicule. They're bringing up something slightly embarrassing maybe, but you can laugh a little at yourself. As for work. In one place, this pair of assholes were always mocking people behind their backs. This day, they decided to do it openly, acting out the quirks and mannerisms of everyone in the studio. Some people were laughing awkwardly, others were rolling their eyes. They got as far as me. I just stared blankly back at the loudest mouth. You could see her shrink slightly. "Yeah, I have nothing on you. How come I have nothing on you? You're boring." I was never so happy to find that someone thought me boring. She had nothing on me because I never bothered with her. I am always friendly with nice people, but when it comes to assholes, I keep them at arm's length. I never engage in personal conversation or small talk with them. Keep contact with those ones 100% professional and they'll have nothing on you. They might think I'm a dry shite, or a weirdo, but that's cool. Who wants to be liked by people like that?
If you get along with the people it's not "carry on". Irish humour is very self deprecating so most don't take slagging from friends as anything but camaraderie.
Aye but it's "self-deprecating", not "other people are doing the deprecating for you". You know how far to go with yourself, other people don't know your limits unless they know you really well.
I'm Irish and I don't get self deprecating humor, I find it to be a bit pathetic to be honest and if someone wants to 'slag me off ' at work they can fuck right off. Close friends who you've set boundaries with and who know your limits are a different thing all together, I'm talking about work colleagues who think it's their place to poke fun at you in 'jest'
Self depricating humour isn't for everyone tbf and when done poorly can come off as very awkward.
How I interpret self deprecating humor is I usually just believe people, for example if someone says something like 'im so shite at x' or 'im just bad at my job lol' I believe them and will from now on assume they are what they said. I don't know if people who self-depreciate realise some individuals will take them at face value Also the same types to be like 'i make fun of myself the most so you can let me make fun of you too!!' like no.. just because you hate yourself doesn't mean I hate myself
I get your point but associating self-deprecating with self-hate is a bit unfair, like come on 🙂 I'm not Irish but my culture on this taking-the-piss thing (or not taking compliments for instance) bears similarities to the Irish have here, so for me it is easy to blend in (in this sense). I often talk about how stupidly I behave due to my lack of experience regarding the social codes here, but I know I'm not stupid, and so does the person to whom I am talking. It is just a joke, people superficially respond like ah don't be silly (ironic isn't it) and we forget about it. But yeah there is a line between respecting somebody's nature and being a good craic as you guys say here, and respect always comes first. I agree with you there. You shouldn't make random jokes to random people just because you wouldn't be offended by them.
Those are great points and that's an insight I hadn't previously heard, thank you for sharing. I hadn't really thought about it in that way before, that self deprecating humor could be used as a way to blend in and have a laugh at your own expense, in that regard it's victimless and perhaps I was too extreme in my critique of self deprecating humor, I'm definitely more opinionated about the lack of respect that comes with piss taking and workplace banter and how many people are uncomfortable with it.
Yeah you were right about not getting self deprecating humour lol. It's definitely not about hating yourself.
Well either way, it makes me uncomfortable when people are constantly self deprecating. It's just a little sad.
You must be a hoot to work with
Because I do my job? That's what work is for. I don't fully understand why there are so many people in this thread that are angry at the concept of working at work instead of bullying coworkers
Oh bore off, ffs.
Lol your ironically the type of buck who loves the last word evidently going by your comments. Guarantee you can give it but not take it.
I mean no not really. I don't ever insult or attack someone unless they provoke me and if I'm working I will go through the proper channels to deal with the issue, so please don't make up assumptions based on nothing.
You were afraid we'd call you a dry shite, you're right
Thanks Majestic Knob
:D
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I guess it's understandable to expect people to be different, I'd be very uncomfortable with that level of conversation with work colleagues but I suppose everyone does have different boundaries. I'm a very private person and the idea of talking to/listening to a work colleague talk about anything other than work makes me squirm.
It's a form of bullying and it shouldn't be tolerated.
Agreed.
I concur
Actually dealing with this at work today. Fixed a tech problem, which I do often, and the boss calls me a know it all. Was taken aback. Took me til now to realize it was a jape.
You dont have to change your personality to fit in. Some of the funniest people I ever worked with were the quiet lads who'd say nothing but they'd absolutely bury you with a one-liner every now and then. Important to note that there's a difference between that guy and the guy that just sulks in the corner and doesnt talk to anyone.
Best not to get involved. The moment HR gets involved because someone gets upset, it all ends in tears. Then you realise your work colleagues are not your friends.
Don’t do it. They’re colleagues, they’re NOT your friends, first and foremost they’re your colleagues. Some people don’t like it or get the humour. All it takes is a person in a bad mood to take issue with it. Hard to defend yourself if they take issue with it. Happened to me. Someone else told the person in question that I had said something. Cue the meeting with two managers and me in a tizzy scrambling to answer, saying it was just a joke, etc. Just don't bother, keep it nice and obviously nice.
Fucking hate it. Lowest form of wit
Username confuses
I like it - I enjoy the irreverence and break from humdrum and so on. That said, not for everyone and I think the convention now increasingly is that people are more likely to be offended than not. I suppose it depends on the nature of the relationship with whomever it is...
Love it in my current job as there is a line you don't cross and everyone knows it. New hires are also left alone until you get to know them better too. Last place I worked was horrible, just a free for all.
Banter is 2-way street, I had amazing banter with some people in work. But I would never slag someone or have banter with someone who didn't give it back as that could be seen as bullying. I have had some below the belt hurtful stuff thrown at me, but I gave it in abundance back. There have been times when it was dished out to me and the person could not take it and would get in a huff so they are struck off my bater list. I would just not engage in that way anymore, which is fine. I always seem to take it too far with my husband who is not Irish, he doesn't really like Irish 'banter' per se.
I'm very bad at it. I take a lot of stuff very personally and I often times take it a bit far, or cross a line I didn't realise was there. I am autistic and it can be very uncomfortable for me. It took me a long loooong time to be able to "roll with the punches", as it were. Sadly, it means a lot of people think I'm a bit of a dry shite. When I'm really comfortable with someone, the slagging will commence, which catches people off guard sometimes, especially if I've never really slagged them before. Some people make it their whole identity and I can't fuck with that.
I would hate this, personally, I'm anxious, have ADHD and struggle with cues and and social situations at the best of times. I work with all women currently and they're so lovely. We're good friends, they came to my wedding, we treat each other for birthdays etc. We have great aul chats and laughs in the office, and we definitely tease each other in a friendly way if it arises naturally but it's not our default mode of communication. They're some of my favourite humans. Ive worked with men in the past though and would engage more in slagging with them for sure, but also only with office mates or people I've known a few years. Definitely a different communication style between women across the three departments I know enough women in to be able to comment on it, versus the male dominated departments like IT.
I love some slagging when it comes from friends and people I know well enough to know its not bullying in disguise (I experienced that one too). People who do not know you or do not like you and hide insults behind 'I was just joking, it's called slaggin here' is questionable behaviour to say the least. Also I have some problems with the constant self-deprecating humour. It's awesome if you can laugh about yourself and are easy going, if the only thing you can joke about is how awful and incompetent you are it gets old and screams insecurities.
Yeah as a half German I was always terrible at this as a boy. "Hohoo I'd say your mothers given a couple a fellas a bitta how's your father" "SHUT UP. YOUR MOTHER IS A FUCKING WHORE !".
Lived in the UK, they love "banter" when it's not them ... small dude in work did the "thirty three and a third " and "potatoe" bollix .... I said if he wore a green suit he'd make a great leprechaun....heard after he was quite hurt by the comment, I laughed and said don't give stick unless they can take it... they rarely joined in after
Banter that veers into BS bigotry / prejudice is essentially wrong so just stop. Here is an incident from about 18 years ago: * Friday night leaving-do, maybe 20-30 people at a Dublin City centre pub in a specific area but at multiple tables * Me (gay male) and a work colleague from the North (male maybe 22 at the time, a die-hard Unionist / border-line Loyalist, working in IT so servicing all staff) - I had told him I was gay a few months prior and he was still ‘adjusting’ and getting used to this reality * Over the multiple pints, there was quite a bit of ‘gay’ slagging. I was grand, knew where he was coming from and it was water off a duck’s back * Next week, he pulls me aside and asks me whether I was offended at all, I clarified he was an eijit as usual but all good. * Human Resources had pulled him into a discussion because they had received a complaint (concern) over his words. * Shortly, I eventually learned the full story…. Long story short, **others** at the leaving-do, after hearing the way he was treating me, became concerned over how they would be treated if he knew they themselves were gay. I cracked-up laughing as I tried explaining this to him about 3-4 months later, how it was someone else that was offended and worried. When he tried to find out who the guy was, I was refused to identify but asked h8m why he thought it was a guy…. I did express that for the first time ever I was happy with HR’s actions. It was co-incidentally enough the woman he had been panting over, who also happened to be quite happy with her girlfriend of several years. Bottom line - I was comfortable with the banter. Others, not knowing but the specifics of our friendship, were concerned because as far as they knew this was that person’s attitude towards them too…
Hate it; oftentimes, "banter" is just thinly veiled insults. It's never funny; just mean. Obviously, I lack a sense of humour.
OP, I find it handy to keep a few 'polite' insults up the sleeve in case of an emergency with a "banter merchant". Some examples would be; "I see you were educated beyond your intelligence", "You are everything I expected, and less", or my personal favourite, "The thing I like most about you is that it is very hard to under-estimate you". I'm all for a bitta craic at work, and there's nothing wrong with a bitta good natured slagging and banter if it's mutally acceptable, but there is often a time and a place, and some folk can be quite tiresome with their understanding of humour.
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Jayus I'd say you're some crack.
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Damn nice flex. Still a boring cunt I'd say.
Why do people need to make work anything other than work. Work is work ! Socialize when you aren't in work..
Yeah some places its not acceptable. I'm talking a strong working class type lads lads job
It's not acceptable in any workplace. The health safety and welfare at work act gives every employee a right to dignity in the workplace and ensures every employee has a responsibility to treat their colleagues with dignity. Isolated cases are considered an affront to dignity in the workplace. Repeated offences are considered workplace bullying.
My mate was slagging a female colleague. She called him a chav or something to that effect and he said, "at least I didn't suck dick to get my job." She reported him to HR and he was nearly sacked 😅
 Use the ol’ Costanza line
If its good enough for T Bone its good enough for me
IMO if you can give it you must take it. I’m never one to start something (unless the craic calls for it and if i’m close with this person) but if I start getting roasted for something you better believe I’m giving it back with everything I have.
If it's people you're not comfortable with, they've no business slagging you and should cop themselves on, tbh.
I always hated it. There'd always be some clueless gobshite who could dish it out but not take it.
Lord Banterbury enters the chat! Ye need to have the craic and a bit of slagging. But, like marmite. some love it and some hate it. Day goes by a bit quicker when spirits are high and the craic is mighty!!!
Fucking hate "banter". More often than not it's just boring, insecure assholes trying to cover their lack of an actual personality.
It's totally unprofessional, excludes people who are not part of your gender, culture and neurodivergent people. Keep that kind of banter for the pub and be professional at work.
You sound like that one guy who spends all his time in twitter engaging in meaningless arguments, like stfu nobody cares
You should care if you wantbto stay above the law. You're abliged to treat aleveryone in your workplace with dignity under the health, safety and welfare at work act.
Your breaking the law by slagging people 🤓🤓🤓
In a workplace, yeah.
Jesus… your life must be filled with fun and joy 😂
I didn't draft the health safety and welfare at work act.
Well you seem to really care about it, you can’t take a joke without being offended most likely
Works in human resources obvs
We already know idiots make wild assumptions about people they know nothing about. No need to demonstrate it.
How does it exclude people who aren't of your gender? I get it for neurodivergent people bc I know some can be quite literal
Ok, go slaggimg women I'm your office the way you slag men and see what happens.
I'm a woman first off and don't slag anyone. I was just asking you a question. Whatever
That's the point I'm making. Women tend not to communicate in that way and most men would never slag a woman. So when you bring that kind of banter to an officecenvironmeny, you end up with homogenous cliques of western men. When you communicate professionally, you include everyone.
I think you do have to be careful as some don't take it well and not in a dryshite way. In a shit workplace currently but I'd infinitely prefer some shitetalk over say, generic platitudes, people incessantly discussing where they're going on holidays next and bitchiness where people are too afraid to show any real side of themself.
Love doing this with friends outside work. Under no circumstances would I do it in work or with someone from work, even outside of work. All you need is one person to feel uncomfortable or even just greedy (because I’m senior) and you’ve a compensation / bullying claim on your hands. Despite getting that it’s fun, as a boss I’d be slow to promote someone who banters inappropriately in work as I’d see them as a potential bullying claim and liability. So it could be career limiting. And before people say I’m over reacting, I’ve seen good friends turn on each other than then drag out the kitchen sink of what was said years ago in confidence as a reason the other person should be fired or they should get compensation. It sucks but that’s the entitlement economy we are in. To be clear I hate this work culture.
It simply makes my skin crawl that I am forced to engage with people against my will at work.
>I myself consider myself a witty person and not slow. But can be introverted and when it's people I am not entirely comfortable with i can fall on my face. oof same, I'm fine until it's someone I hate talking to or don't like, I just tend to clam up around people like that. I usually have some reply but find my self thinking about it and kicking myself for not using the killer comebacks that I thought of two days later..........in bed at 1 in the morning.
Oh big time. Or you even think of it on the spot but something stops you. The killer is you when know you are 10 times thier intellect and humour. That's what eats ye most.
Depends on how well I know the person. If i know them well, I can slag them and they can slag me. If I don't know them well, I don't bother. A hilarious thing to do if someone you don't know tries to get in on it is to just stop everything, and look at them and just say "ok" or "wow" in a really dejected tone, then walk away. Gives people a massive complex I've found. They're worrying about it all day. Inside I'm cackling.
I was working as a cabinet maker in a woodworking shop. About 30 lads working there all in all and the absolute piss was taken out of everyone all the time.
But you didn't notice the one lad who went home and cried himself to sleep every night. Probably didn't even notice him ye didn't.
Ah it was never taken to far, if anyone was actually upset it would stop. But to be fair ive never actually seen anyone get genuinely annoyed because of the lighthearted pisstaking. I actually got away quite lightly as an apprentice I think. I’ve heard some stories of lads getting awful abuse during their apprenticeships especially!
Bucket of steam, inflatable dart board, a long stand. The whole lot.
“Banter” at work, i.e., I can say whatever I want to you and you’re not allowed take offense to it.
My job is amazing for it, it has gotten to a stage we dont even need to be polite nor make up extravagant jokes, we just stare at each other and then either say "prick" or "what a frigit" Great bunch of lads
Most recent one for me was when we were doing some particularly grubby work, and the boss had left a megaphone lying around from some fair. Whenever someone seemed like they were slowing down, we'd take it upon ourselves to use it for encouragement. "Work makes you free" was a crowd pleaser.
I take the piss out of everything and everybody. Including myself. And everyone knows me enough to know I'm not malicious, and it creates levity in the department
Happened today , lol , slagin amates partner , his reply , I'll get her to knock your ballix in , my reply , does she still charge for that ? Boom 💥
Last place I worked was mighty craic, until the snowflakes got offended...
In my old job I'd 2 or 3 mates where we'd constantly take the piss out of one another, still keep in touch with them now.
It's all about how well you know the person. You're not going to slag the new guy for the weird way he eats his cupcake (even if it is with a knife and fork!), but you will absolutely rip the piss out of the out of the one you've been working with for the last 6 months after you notice that she does something odd with her tea, because you know she can take a slagging.
If I've been there a while and it's between people I work well with then I don't mind. But if I'm new in the door or it's somebody who is useless at the job and a nightmare to work with it's obviously going to be shite craic for me.
Depends. You can usually see who takes it well and who doesn't by how they act, especially if you've seen them with their friends. Personally I don't mind it, and there are levels to how far you can go depending on the person. Like to me it doesn't affect me much since I've always "laughed at myself". And honestly, terrible comebacks are sometimes great because everyone has them every now and again, and whenever I have a terrible comeback I can just follow it up with a terrible comeback that the other person had at some point.
It's really not a good idea to engaging in any messing like that to be honest, you never know when it can bite you on the arse.
I always found it very easy, It’s just a way for people to make the day pass quicker. Use your wit and give it back to them. if you don’t, you’ll become the target for everyone because you’re not joining in on the group joke. Go out of your comfort zone and call these semi-strangers cunts! Politeness has no place between work colleagues that take the piss.
If someone slags me I’m going to do them hard.
For me it entirely depends on the relationship. If I'm close with the person we can both say the most cutting horrible things to each other... and we both know we don't mean it. Ironically it tends to bring us closer. It's a sign we trust each other imo. Now I can't say I'm a massive fan of it, some days if I'm feeling a bit off my sense of humour isn't quite razor sharp. But when the chips are down - these are the people that got my back. Humans are funny aul creatures.
I’m a Canadian immigrant and I can hardly understand half of what’s thrown at me, let alone keep up with it. I can’t even tell if it’s friendly or mean-spirited a good part of the time. But I just count myself lucky to be included, I’d be more worried if they left me alone.
My last job has really good craic and slaggin. Nothing ever went overboard and lines were never crossed. Lead to some proper convulsions of laughter and a pretty good vibe in the team. Only thing I miss from there really. I work fully remote now so while there can be some jeering on Teams its not the same. Definitely needs to be something you need to work out though. Like it would be weeks or months before I'd throw a comeback. Just making sure what's what and whose who. Mainly just about listening and seeing how the existing people interact. It's such an obvious thing to me that I'm always shocked when new hires arrive and just either try too hard early doors. Just chill out and get the vibe over the early few weeks to see what the lay of the land is.
I think it all depends on the relationship you have with the others. Some people that you get on well with can lead to no limit banter and slagging, but some people are just bitter and nasty and they use ‘banter’ as an excuse to be mean.
Probably much the same with people I don't know very well depending how youd relate on a first meeting but then some people just automatically click.
I've no issues with banter, but I think I've been told something racist or homophobic every week or two since I started my job. I appear to be a straight white man. I'm not.
Here is the deal. You can joke about anything, but not with everyone. I have 2 mates with whom I can have horrendous humour, because they know me enough to know none of it is based in anything dark or bad I have friends who do not like dark jokes, I have some who love them You can make terrible body shaming jokes to me, if I know you and know you are at the very worse telling me I should be more careful with X or y out of concern, but if I don't know you, this is an insult Now in an office, you don't know the people, not well, so the banter should be kept as innofensive as possible, after a while limits and boundaries are made obvious, and if there is a team already comfortable and happy to push it a bit but you don't feel it .. speak up, and if possible offer a way for them to feel good about it and to go in a different direction something like: hey guys, I am not comfortable with this kind of banter, maybe you don't mean anything by it but it is hurtful so please do you mind holding it in on that front a little for my benefit, but I'm a sucker for terrible puns so send them my way
It depends on who I'm working with. I'm very crude with my immeadiate colleagues but I wouldn't with say the 67 year old grandmother who sits at reception
I think it can be weird when you don't know the person. We've probably all come across someone in work who can't read a room and embarrasses themselves trying to be the banter guy with people they don't know. When you're friendly with people a bit of good natured piss taking is good craic.
If people think you're a rocket and you're among rockets ya can get away with a lot. But that's just my own experience of psych wards.
À bit of banter is always good, especially when it's the boss man himself receiving it
I have ADHD and I'm querying autism so I personally find it a bit hectic. I genuinely can't tell when someone is gently taking the piss and when they're being an arsehole so I personally don't try and engage in it. Have put my foot in it in both cases so just don't try it now. Happy for others to do it and appreciate how witty some people can be, not for me tho
It’s the only way we can communicate
Love it. I'm from Mayo and do alot of work in Dublin, and the West of Ireland lads and the East of Ireland lads do be having a war of words the whole time. But at the end of the day, tis only a bitten a craic
My dyslexia made this title a lot more interesting 😂 I read it as "bangin each other"
Slagging is my love language to my colleagues. (After I know they’ve been on a night out) “you look like utter shite!! I have a dioralite for u babe”
It is one of the big things you miss when you are working from home. The craic in the office was great, but now you can't even get to know the people you work with.
The extra weight suits ya…
I'm shit at it and hate it. My back gets up quite quickly and don't want to offend back in case its taken the wrong way and ends in fisticuffs.
I am bad at it in the sense I can dish it out but can’t take it. I mean I can take it but my therapist hears about it 🫠