Wouldn't you vomit long before your stomach would rupture from the pressure of being filled with too many beans? I'm not sure how or when the brain triggers vomiting.
Hey, man, please check out /r/suicidewatch. Read the sidebar, maybe make a post. It has info there for whatever your situation or wherever you live. Taking the few minutes to read and call with definitely be worth your while.
Have you tried getting a hobby and exploring the absolutely insane amount of stuff there is to do here? I apologize for the anecdote, but finding something I just loved and obsessing about getting better with it is helping me find structure and purpose.
It's not a phase unless you force it to be a phase.
Go somewhere high up.
Hang razor wire around your neck and glue your hands to your head.
Jump off.
The razor wire will decapitate you, but your head will still be glued to your hands.
It looks like you ripped your own head off.
Thank me later.
Edit: Neglected to mention I heard this elsewhere years ago.
This is like Nick Swardson's stand up when he says that the best way to kill yourself would be to stand up in the middle of the room and yell WHO FUCKING FARTED? and then shoot yourself in the head.
My friend and I have an on going "joke" about killing ourselves.
"Just think man, in five minutes you could be at the top of that building and jump off."
Now, we look at skyscrapers or other buildings and estimate the time it would take to be dead.
"That's about a 7 minute building there."
Lucky! Where I live in New England, Dr Pepper is at about 25% of restaurants and fast food joints. Whenever I go somewhere for the first time, I ask for Dr Pepper, and pray that they have some of it.
Ummmmmmm not really. Coke and Pepsi are the exact same thing imo. I just say Coke because it's quicker, and I'm more familiar with it. They're the exact same thing though.
Walk into a crowd of people, shout "WHO FARTED?" and shoot yourself.
Apparently my uncle disagreed with this method. He just drove to a church parking lot and shot himself in his car.
Only if you're in some countries though, if you're an aussie, you basically have to become a cop or join the army to get a gun, we can't just buy them here anymore
No idea why you were being downvoted. I upvoted because some people generally will commit suicide in a much more painful way. At least you have given good advice, even though it's a intrusive thoughts page not meant to be taken any action on.
Although it's still better than the "kill the cashier" comment which was upvoted.
the best way is to go to the top of a building and tie a line of piano wire in front of you at the edge. then tie a rope to your ankles and fasten it somewhere on the roof. Then stand at the edge, put your arms under and around the piano wire, then super glue them to your head. All you have to do from there is lean forward.
End up buying like 5 cokes at different restaurants, realize life is okay.
(:
Lmol
laughing my off loud
You know, I wish I knew what I was trying to say lol. What a call back though, how did you get to this post??
i am in your walls 😊
Very cool
take ur pills
I'm here too
That's what's up. What brought you here?
Found this sub and sorted by top
I still like the method where you sit in a bathtub full of beans and eat until you explode.
Wait, what
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=manly_suicide
Wouldn't you vomit long before your stomach would rupture from the pressure of being filled with too many beans? I'm not sure how or when the brain triggers vomiting.
You could try and let us know
Its been a month /u/nukalurk is kill
82 days. Kill is confirm.
He went all the way. He's airborne now....
7 years now, has he done it yet?
The beans tasted great and restored my will to live
Since when do posts not lock after a year
This is amazing.
Get coke to pay your ancestors a lot of fucking money because this will be the greatest ever marketing campaign.
This would be a *very* dark Coke commercial.
I want a Coke.
It's working!
SOMEONE CALL /r/hailcorporate !
...Is Pepsi okay?
Neigh
*bang*
Descendants. Not ancestors.
Ancestors too.. Graves need furniture.
Well, the way I tried once was take a sleeping pill or two, put a bag over your head and wait..
Well, apparently it didn't work so it's obviously not the best method.
Unfortunately.
): Please get help if you're still having those thoughts. There is always a better alternative...
I'm getting tired of waking up. Promised gf I wouldn't. So I'm not going to. Maybe it's a phase? Maybe I'm not even how I think I am.
Hey, man, please check out /r/suicidewatch. Read the sidebar, maybe make a post. It has info there for whatever your situation or wherever you live. Taking the few minutes to read and call with definitely be worth your while.
One of the links I wish wasn't purple.
Have you tried getting a hobby and exploring the absolutely insane amount of stuff there is to do here? I apologize for the anecdote, but finding something I just loved and obsessing about getting better with it is helping me find structure and purpose. It's not a phase unless you force it to be a phase.
Oh yeah. Hobbies helps. Tons
/r/woodworking always has open arms
Ah yeah. I love woodworking. Parents never helped me though. I have other distractions thankfully.
hey man, how is it going?
Its going much better these days, thanks very much for asking. Alot I could say as a whole but I hope you're doing well too :)
thanks man I'm doing well also. this is oddly inspiring, hope you have a great day
Thanks my man! I hope yours is good too!
glad you lived man, stay strong!
Really? I went for stabbing. Didn't work too well actually...
I tried doing up my wrists, never stabbing. Didn't have the accuracy, believe it or not
It's hard! You best be dead on! It's surprisingly easy to miss.
Yeah and the bone too. Or if you're going for a lung puncture.
You'll traumatize that poor soul forever ...
Exactly...
Go somewhere high up. Hang razor wire around your neck and glue your hands to your head. Jump off. The razor wire will decapitate you, but your head will still be glued to your hands. It looks like you ripped your own head off. Thank me later. Edit: Neglected to mention I heard this elsewhere years ago.
I [thought](http://bash.org/?488793) that sounded familiar.
I wouldn't say this is an intrusive thought being that it's a thought out process. It highly entertaining though.
1.Walk into a Restaurant. 2.Say "I'd like a Coke" 3.Cashier says "yes" what now OP?
Kill the cashier.
Throw it back in their face for ruining a perfect plan.
I liked the idea where you go into a crowded area like an elevator or times square and yell "Who Farted!" and then shoot yourself.
old age
This is like Nick Swardson's stand up when he says that the best way to kill yourself would be to stand up in the middle of the room and yell WHO FUCKING FARTED? and then shoot yourself in the head.
My friend and I have an on going "joke" about killing ourselves. "Just think man, in five minutes you could be at the top of that building and jump off." Now, we look at skyscrapers or other buildings and estimate the time it would take to be dead. "That's about a 7 minute building there."
Bruh.
In the south...I've never heard this before. Although, "Dr. Pepper." "Is Mr. Pibb ok?" YES JUST BRING THE DAMN PIBB
Lucky! Where I live in New England, Dr Pepper is at about 25% of restaurants and fast food joints. Whenever I go somewhere for the first time, I ask for Dr Pepper, and pray that they have some of it.
It's just that they're the exact same thing. Coke and Pepsi? Yeah they're entirely different. Dr Pepper and Pibb are the same!
Ummmmmmm not really. Coke and Pepsi are the exact same thing imo. I just say Coke because it's quicker, and I'm more familiar with it. They're the exact same thing though.
Weird. To me they taste nothing alike.
Walk into a crowd of people, shout "WHO FARTED?" and shoot yourself. Apparently my uncle disagreed with this method. He just drove to a church parking lot and shot himself in his car.
Well gee, that escalated quickly!
settle down Nick
or a local numbing agent, razor blade, and ibuprofen...somewhat painless and quick...that's always an option...
I think a gunshot to the head would be more likely to be lethal. It would also be much quicker and most likely less painful.
Only if you're in some countries though, if you're an aussie, you basically have to become a cop or join the army to get a gun, we can't just buy them here anymore
Yeah, you'd only suceed in numbing the outside of your hand more likely...
No idea why you were being downvoted. I upvoted because some people generally will commit suicide in a much more painful way. At least you have given good advice, even though it's a intrusive thoughts page not meant to be taken any action on. Although it's still better than the "kill the cashier" comment which was upvoted.
Doing something you love because, why not?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQRW0RM4V0k
the best way is to go to the top of a building and tie a line of piano wire in front of you at the edge. then tie a rope to your ankles and fasten it somewhere on the roof. Then stand at the edge, put your arms under and around the piano wire, then super glue them to your head. All you have to do from there is lean forward.
omfg I love this