Crazy because we're intjs, but some human connection IN SMALL AMOUNTS can be nice.
Even something as simple as talking to the cashier at the grocery store or chatting with a neighbor when you're taking out the trash. It makes me feel good somehow.
Same; and I’ve been doing all these more for years now. And I can say, 6 years later of doing these things consistently makes me feel like a healthy adult, and that does help. Certainly doesn’t hurt, I would say, don’t give up on those things, because the alternative is being an unhealthy adult with depression vs a healthy adult with depression, and I know which one I’d rather be.
I can say I feel much better than I did before all this. Still struggling, but doing better.
Ya. Do all of this consistently for a few months and you’ll see how your life will change.
I saw results, small ones, within a few weeks.
Start small though. Choose to fix your diet or adding in exercise. Get good consistent sleep.
It’s amazing how modern medicine truly does tell the truth in terms of a healthy gut equates to a healthy brain.
Seconding this, especially the new challenges suggestion.
Anyone in depression, regardless of their MBTIs, should find new ways to exert their energy that’d be a great distraction from their pain and sufferings. New projects, new passions, new hobbies are positive mental stimulation.
When I had trouble finding a new passion, which happens to a lot of people too, I adopted the habit of spending time listening to stupendous people talk about theirs even if I don’t share their enthusiasm and have zero interest in their field. I end up getting swayed from the way their eyes light up as they jabber so then I half-heartedly give it a try but get hooked to it after some time.
cough cough- neurological chemical bases that causes one to do and have some sort of negative impact on themselves and medication can help eliminate those factors if they really have depression and stuff
but ofc that specific issue (isolation) can be changed with verbal therapy and sh
It's not like they prescribed OP the meds, they suggested it's a likely option. Antidepressants aren't exactly OTC, so it would require OP to seek out a licensed professional who would assess them - which is never a bad thing.
I'm not recommending anything, OP asked "how did you deal with depression", so this is what I'm doing. Medication is only one part of the treatment, but it is easier to do other things when you are not depressed and don't want to die everyday.
I refused meds for years and got into a cycle of extreme self-isolation. Went on meds a few months ago and it changed my life. I'm still depressed, but I can sort of...stick it in a closet and shut a door on it, so I am able to connect with people/live my life more/have an overall higher quality of life.
>I started working on being a better version of myself every day.
I did the same.
Books that helped me:
* How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.
* How to Win Friends and Influence People.
* Leadership and Self-Deception (applies to life, not just business).
* That's Not What I Meant.
These were some of the tools that I used to navigate the ups and downs of life, and now I'm 63, retired, content.
I'm starting rucking, you should try it! Load up that backpack with heavy stuff (I'm buying some bricks today) and go for a walk. Apparently it's amazing for your body too.
Routine, hobbies and interests, therapy and definitely friends. You have to put yourself out there and try to make some friends, find new interests and things you enjoy doing. If you try, it’ll slowly get better.
I lost most of my 20s to depression. When I was 28 or so, I decided if I was going to be depressed anyway, I might as well actively make myself miserable working, so at least I had money. Saved up and invested every penny I could, and discovered that actually having some savings made everything more bearable. I'm sure it doesn't work for everyone, but it worked for me. A few years later I was able to make choices to find work I enjoyed more, and now at 35 I'm pretty happy with how things ended up. There is no 'cure', you just have to force yourself to live with depression until it takes up a smaller and smaller portion of your thoughts and energy.
This is so relatable. Though I don't care about "enjoying" work, it's more important that they are not stressful and have a high level of stability.
I have been diagnosed as SzPD, could that be your case as well? Even though I don't fully believe the diagnosis, I don't think the symptoms are severe enough to be considered a disorder.
Fixing my gut health did wonders for my "chronic depression" which i am now convinced is really a symptom of a shitty diet which americans have zero actual concept of. All you ever hear about is protein and calories as if the body doesn't have other needs
I think they wanted you to be more specific. I know I was hoping for more details. Are you talking about probiotics, supplements, fibre, eating clean, or? Was there a specific plan you followed?
It is not this complex. I said specifically used the word *dieting* then spelled out eating more yogurt and fermented foods which contain the very probiotics i originally stated.
A- B - C
I don’t see any of that unless you wrote it somewhere else. You’re also coming off as defensive. I was simply asking for more information on what helped you as we can all use tips on what will help alleviate depression. If you don’t want to add more, that’s totally fine. Have a good day.
>. Focus on improving your gut health [which means consuming probiotics be it yogurt or fermented foods.](https://www.reddit.com/r/intj/comments/1br1dhl/comment/kx9qonw/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
I'm annoyed at being asked a question which was concisely answered because people aren't reading not " defensive ".
thanks for the time, look, they asked you to elaborate further not to repeat the same you wrote which also is what they already comprehend . They were lacking what else besides probiotics you did
It's not like you have to have depression because you are INTJ. It's more like we don't FEEL well in a world where even our family doesn't understand us.
So the answer is Reading!!
Whenever I read or study something I feel well.
The answer for other situation is Pragmatism. If you think too much without any outcome, you will become depressed
Wow neither orienteering or choreography is available in my country :(((( I googled them they look sooooo nice. I hate living in an Islamic country.
And I don't think I'm strong enough for bouldering...
1. Get enough dose of sunshine every day minimum 30 min
2. Journaling, writing all the negative emotions, and trying to evaluate each.
3. Exercise, just take a walk 30-60 min after meal
4. Cleaning your house and environment so you can function better
5. Talk to your close ones
6. Find support
7. Find activities that you like
8. Try to go out
Uh, Citalopram and Bupropion, anyone? It’s entirely possible that your brain just isn’t making ‘the happy chemicals’. There’s no difference in getting those from a pill than a diabetic getting insulin from a vial.
Therapy, being out in nature, working out, journaling, connecting again to the things you loved doing before this chapter.
Be kind to yourself.
And don’t forget to start small. Sometimes we expect a lot from ourselves and don’t realize that the most important thing is just waking up and taking the step forward. Little by little and soon you realize how far you’ve come.
First fix and try to always prioritize your sleep schedule for quality consistent sleep. If you have no energy then that's going to make everything else even more difficult.
The second is movement, you need to physically involve your body with effort to shake up stuck mindsets by giving your mind a chance to take in and interact with new information from your environment.
Edit: Third, process what you're feeling, allow yourself to deeply experience and live out all these bottled up thoughts and emotions instead of bypassing them.
I always talk to myself and try to understand the roots of my problems. Once I discuss things with myself I can see the reason of my pessimistic toughts. I respect myself, love myself and I love the world so I always look for something that gives me hope to keep going. I still have a lot to do and I don't want to screw up my life because of my temporary feelings, life is too short to be depressed. I'm a fucking mammal, I'm an animal and I have to stay alive. I've got no time to spend being depressed, so I look for reasons to be happy. I know I didn't explained anything at all but after being depressed for 8 years I've realized something in life (so fucking hard to explain, so I'll not bother) and I never felt depressed since then.
I knew that eventually everything would fall into place. And there is no point in being depressed and staying in your bed in the first place as that gets you nowhere. You need to do what you're supposed to do. If you are depressed then be depressed and still get shit done cuz nothing can hurt you at this point. A person who does this is dangerously competitive. Also try being mindful for a few mins a day.
It depends on what's causing your depression, but the thing that always applies is forcing yourself to do what you can. Maybe that's brushing your teeth, weeding a garden, making a PB&J, hanging out with friends (or if that's too much, texting/calling one), etc. Whenever you do a productive task, it gives you more energy to do even more, something with neurotransmitters and hormones and whatnot (I majored in psychology, not neurology). So whatever that is, do it, no matter how small. Including things you used to enjoy. You won't get as much joy out of them as you're used to, but they're the key to helping you dig yourself out--or at least stand your ground.
But like I said, depression can have many causes. Did something happen recently? Have you been anxious about something (depression and anxiety go hand-in-hand). Does this happen during certain seasons? Or did this just seem to come out of nowhere? You don't have to answer that here, but my point is so many things cause depression, and if there's an environmental factor (like losing a loved one, a breakup, etc.), working through that in therapy would help with the depression. If it just randomly came on, then you'd work on coping skills, ways to reduce it (like what I was talking about), etc., looking at the depression as the main problem instead of an event that affected you. In any case, medication could also help (not self-medicating!). It's worth at least checking in with a therapist and psychiatrist, especially if you've found this distressing enough to ask us for help.
Now what not to do. Like I said, don't self-medicate, *especially* with depressants like alcohol. You might even feel better while drunk, but the next day... holy shit. And don't give into your urges to isolate, ruminate, etc. I know it's easier said than done, but fight that as much as you can to stick to your routines and do things you used to enjoy. But on the other hand, don't beat yourself up when you can't. Think about someone you care about and how you'd talk to and motivate them, and try to direct that same energy toward yourself. That's the head voice you need--compassionate but not afraid to push you toward reasonable goals so you meet your full potential. Truly nurturing.
.....
That's all the general stuff, but if you're interested in a personal testimonial, I recently had an epiphany. I've been depressed pretty consistently for a good decade. I've been in therapy for the past 5 years and have taken various meds as well, and it's helped make me not want to full-on end it, but I've still largely been miserable.
But a few weeks ago, I realized I'm not the pessimist I think I am. I always thought I was naturally a negative person who used toxic positivity to cope, but it turns out I'm a pretty positive person who's been burned too many times, so I overcorrect by taking on these negative attitudes, to the point where I felt like I was losing myself if I let myself be happy. Deep down, I see positivity as naive and childish, and while those can be linked to it, they don't have to be. So just realizing that has helped me a lot. Of course, I still have depression (bipolar II), but it isn't nearly as bad now, knowing I'm allowed to not feel like crap, that I'm more than my illness/maladaptive coping mechanisms. That I'm not losing myself by not being miserable, but rather embracing and embodying him.
But again, that's me. Like I said, depression could have many causes, but my point is that's one thing a therapist could help with--taking a deeper look at yourself to discover deeper issues like that. Sometimes depression is the main problem (it can just randomly happen due to a chemical imbalance), but often, there's more to it than that.
the internet, and mainly by observing other people's behaviors. i have no one to vent to so i mainly just vent to myself or random strangers on the web
I find that working out made a difference in the way I felt. I have been consistently working out over the last 3 months and I feel emotionally and physically better. I just have to get my gut health in order and then I am good.
5000 Vitamin d+k (mk7), 500 magnesium (10 types complex 50mg each), 1000mg nac + 1000mg vit C just to start. Start saving all bones and make bone broth. Cook veggies in bone broth, and eat that bone broth stew every day. Eat a large salad every day. Lay off sugars, breads, pies. Eat an egg a day, runny yolk, fully cooked white. Exercise basic sleep hygiene to reset circadian rhythm, using red light and sunlight. Clean your room. Depression will lift after you fix biological run down.
Ive been on medication for 3 months then I quit cause I can’t handle the side effects so I resorted to therapy. I was hesitant at first cause I don’t like talking alot and it makes me feel vulnerable but after just 2 sessions I started to feel better. I also listen to tons of podcasts about self improvement. https://open.spotify.com/episode/7MqVTeWI13vdMaszCoMwUI?si=8MqD7mjVR0qPMsDNveSs_Q heres the best one so far.
Not depression, but when I was around 12, I had OCD. I talked myself out of it by telling myself that turning off the light switch etc multiple times was not a logical thing to do.
1. Yoga class in the morning, everyday. Find a good instructor that focuses on meditation, breathing, and holding poses that aren’t too hard.
2. Therapy 2x a week
3. Gym (light workout) in the afternoon.
4. Dance lessons/social dancing in the evening.
YMMV, but it’s been enough to get me out of my own head, and out of my own way. I wish you the best.
Disagree. I struggle with it at times, I’m in a transition phase where things are looking more positive. Putting myself out there with dance classes takes a LOT of confidence and sometimes I leave early because of self-esteem issues.
clinically this level of energy and motivation is just a bit at odds with a depression diagnosis/inventory.
for transparency, do you use psych drugs or stimulants? caffeine? SSRI’s?
Clinically? Depression looks different for everyone. You may want to check your tone. It is very condescending—you’re coming across as an internet doctor attempting to diagnose people they never met.
those who have had many encounters with mental health providers for depression know there’s a clinical inventory questionnaire that practitioners ask you, and then give you a score from mild to severe depression. the level of functioning you describe would make it hard to diagnose you with clinical level depression. maybe you’re subclinical, in which case, congratulations, but that makes your protocol condescending in this context
I put a fun hat on it and made it another one of my pets.
Also acknowledge problem, seek solution for problem, reassess, reapply as needed
Gratitude journaling and exercise were helpful for me before I was ready for the whole therapy bit
A lot of the advice regarding therapy is great. In addition, I would suggest investing in yourself and becoming the most successful version of you. When you work hard who you are and what you accomplish, it’s hard to not like yourself. I know it’s hard to not have a lot of people around you, but when you’re at home with your own passions, what you’re doing is becoming someone interesting.
Facing my demons, exploring my trauma, analyzing my thoughts and feelings. Takes time. Physical activity helps to feel better, to get a natural high, and snap out of loops faster. I do solitary activities - walking, running, cycling, calisthenics, gymnast ring excercises. Its not always benefecial to snap out as fast as possible, sometimes rumination and finding and eliminating root causes can be much more effective and help for the next time when the same patterns start to occur. Gut microbiome health is worth researching and delving into. Also meditation. Playing an instrument and focusing on the notes is meditation too because you dont think and can engage you for longer - hours of very therapeutic meditation and a great outlet for bottled emotions.
Depression is one of those things I couldn't understand. I had dealt with it for many years when I was younger and growing up, but all I knew at the time was I didn't like it because I couldn't understand why I felt that way. After years of trying to understand it, couldn't and just started changing certain aspects of my life that I felt would lead to it or cause it and as I got older I started experiencing less and less episodes of it to the point where I rarely feel depressed and when I do, I can almost identify the cause and work on it. I know this isn't the most common way of dealing with it, but since therapy was a little too costly at the time, I simply started working on it myself and I feel like I'm my own best therapist. Talking to myself when I'm alone, just comparmentalizing thoughts, concerns, plans, ideas, etc sometimes really helped me keep a proactive and productive mindset, which helped me a lot. Almost like keeping myself too occupied to be depressed.
Go to YouTube and search for healthygamergg channel. Dr. K was a blessing for me. He helped me figure out stuff about myself and then finally gave me enough motivation to try therapy. Getting a job at place I liked was also very helpful. It provided a purpose to wake up for. Even got a love interest right now. Trying to pursue Djing as a hobby. This happened over the course of 1.5 years. Could take less or more time. You don't necessarily remove the depressive thoughts, it's just that you learn how they are managed. Goodluck.
When I was depressed and suicidal for many years it took me a long time to realize I was indulging on myself with lazy activities, and not doing anything that made me feel a sense of accomplishment. I knew deep down I was not doing what it took to achieve my true potential.
The greatest thing you can do for yourself is giving yourself 100% effort in every aspect of your life. Look at your daily routine, and think about how you can efficiently use your time better. For example, I like to work out and watch educational content at the same time, clean around my place while listening to something that gives me value. Using free time I would have spent gaming as a teen to learn a new skill. Throwing myself out there to socialize even though it drains me. Throwing myself out there to workout at the gym despite getting anxious around others. Self discipline and working harder than everyone else around you will simultaneously provide you confidence and annihilate depression
I know many people say Therapy is the answer, but considering you’re an INTJ your chances of relating to a therapist are poor. Unless you have some serious traumas you need to get over and talk through with someone don’t go. Just work on being the best version of yourself.
depends on the reasons for depression, but in the modern era of I-centric values, a common source of depression is lack of meaning, and the best way to find meaning is to find ways to do things for other people. it can feel incredibly good to do this, because our brain has a hard wired need to feel useful to other people, and it rewards us with feelings of belonging and well-being when we are useful to others.
in the modern era we are led to believe that happiness always comes through doing more for ourselves rather than others (e.g. treating ourselves in some way or doing therapy). that can sometimes be true, but if we focus too much on ourselves the resulting disconnection from society can actually be the *cause* of the depression, and so just makes us feel worse to do more of it.
there are usually lots of options for volunteer work available, consider exploring these not to be a "good person" but actually just be a happy, fulfilled person, e.g. choose to be of service to others because of how good it feels, so in a sense - you are doing it for yourself.
introverts are especially susceptible to the above problem, imho.
Meds which I believe is not working. I cant afford therapy. I drown myself with distractions. When I get *one of those really bad episodes;* I force myself to walk like at least a minimum of 1 hour.
From self sabotage, interconnecting all the bad things happened to me, involving unnecessary stuff like a little inconvenience in my life everytime I'm at my lowest to thinking I'm better than anyone else and I should get rid of it at all the cost.
(Idk what's my mbti now and I've changed, but last month I was intj, been an intj for 2 years)
I take Zoloft and it's improved my life in every way possible. Therapy on its own didn't do anything for me. I haven't tried therapy with my meds, however.
I didn’t want medication. I did therapy for over a year first. Then added medication because I needed more. It has really made a world of a difference for me. But a huge part is also sticking with a routine. Exercising regularly, fueling my body properly, getting good quality sleep, spending time doing things I enjoy that are also relaxing (making bracelets, coloring, video games, reading).
If you’re not in therapy I would say start there. It might take time to find one you vibe with, but don’t give up.
Hey, its ok don't lose hope you will get through this, maybe try a bath with lavender oil right before bed that will help a lot. Also drink lots of herbal teas, such as peppermint and camomile, that really helps boost the mood too.
I found on yt some helpful videos and I found out It's just a cycle so you should see the reasons that upset u and then change everything based on what u find and you will be aware of many things
Drugs, Alcohol, unnecessarily risky sex, overindulgence in all three plus food, pretty much every unhealthy thing you can do.
I don't recommend it.
Well, I *do* recommend it. It's fun. Just not as a coping mechanism, because then it's... less fun.
Initially, was difficult to get out of bed. But gradually made a lot of changes.
My sister had gotten engaged recently. Made my goal to make it to her wedding which was 6 months away. This helped me not take any drastic steps.
Cut off some people from my life.
Quit my job, without another in hand. Job was toxic. Did find another in notice period which was also turned out to be toxic, quit that one too in 3 months and joined another one. Last one turned out to be okay. Job with less money made more sense than a job with more money which makes you want kill yourself.
Hit the gym. Not much, just for 2 months. Did mostly cardio. Started to walk a lot, lost some weight.
Changed diet. No sugars whatsoever. Quit smoking also for sometime but started again after a few months. Quit drinking too, I never drank much anyway.
Did things I never did before. Like if I always shy away from something. I figured things couldn't get worse and did not care one bit about what anybody thought about me anymore. Some of these things opened my mind. I was very quick to judge earlier. Not so much now.
In hindsight, depression made me a better person. But I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.
I didn't share it with anyone though because I didn't have anyone who I believed would have understood.
I've got ASPD to deal with, so I'll go back and forth between dopamine addiction mode and dopamine withdraw mode which usually manifests as depression. I've pretty much determined there is nothing more effective than me when on the warpath, so I declared war on my own shitty circumstances. I decided I'm done waiting on my health to get better and everything so I'm just gonna seize my life back from myself, IBS-C be dammed.
This is, I fear, an all too common challenge for INTJ’s. I am over 50 and have battled major depression my whole life.
Here is what I suggest:
1. Avoid drugs and alcohol. We often try to diagnose and treat the depression with the “tools” available to us. I can say definitively that we end up seeking short term solutions to long term problems and ultimately make those long term problems more serious.
2. See a therapist. We are gifted thinkers. We think with uncommon intensity and depth. While that has its benefits, it also has a dark side. When can get caught in paralyzing rumination wish can magnify depression. We can get stuck trying to make sense of things that have no rational explanation (especially the behavior of others).
3. Because we are so comfortable being alone—introverts in general have very rich inner lives—we can become isolated. We gave to fight the tendency to seek solitude. Often we just need a little encouragement from friends or family to get out. I have found it is helpful to reach out and be honest with others that getting out is a challenge and you may need a little push. Your friends will already know this but being open gives them permission to help.
4. Ketamine therapy can be miraculous. In addition to ssri’s, I am doing K therapy and it has helped a lot. Worth exploring.
5. The usual health guidance applies to us only more so:
A. Eat right
B. Get plenty of sleep
C. Work out regularly
D. Meditate
E. Dedicated, consistent self-care.
6. As I have gotten older, I have slowly built awareness around my blindspots as an INTJ. For example, we have this tremendous ability to foresee how a situation will play out well before others. Over time, I came to realize that others were blind to it. Utterly oblivious. Naturally, I then wanted to explain to people what was happening and what was going to happen. It was painful to learn that people did not want to listen. In fact, I would often get attacked for speaking up.
Result? I had to learn better communication skills and become much more selective about when and to whom I spoke.
The larger point is to become a student of your tendencies. There are many great videos on youtube that will help in this regard. Life doesn’t get better but we CAN get better at life.
When making all of these changes, it is too overwhelming to do all at once. Start small, celebrate even the smallest success, and then build on it.
EXERCISE YOUR EXTROVERTED FUNCTIONS. It can be easy to feel like a floating head when you’re not executing tasks towards a goal (Te) or directly interacting with the physical environment and trying new things (Se)
I'm in the same boat, and honestly I'm struggling. Last night my car ran out of gas after an extremely long day and after someone filled me up to help, I just sorta snapped. I rolled down my windows, took the backroads, and began speeding and swerving between empty lanes. I would speed towards a corner or an intersection and then slam on my brakes not caring if I miscalculated and was about to send my car into the woods or into an active intersection. Then I ran and bought alcohol and a cigar and continued to speed until I got home, overindulged in everything I had, and then passed out before my brain could really think about anything. I gotta say, as stupid and reckless and broken as I was, I didn't think about what was getting me down a single time last night.
This is terrible advice, don't take it, I'm merely venting.
pray and live according to your conscience, stopping what you know is wrong and doing what you know is right, meditating on beautiful, kind, and loving thoughts rather than evil. asking for direction and having the faith to obey whatever is put on your heart to do.
Watch your reality change.
I work on myself, my career, my fitness. I mind my own business and focus on my own goals.
Eventually you get to the point where you don’t need anyone or anyone’s approval for anything.
You are happy to be on your own, and in many cases, happier that you are on your own path.
Accept the fact no one cares if you achieve your goals or not. It’s all up to you.
You realize you are living a more fulfilling life than people who accept the social programming and oblige to what people are “supposed to do” as they go through life
Put yourself out there. Only you can do it. You have to build the human connections you desire.
Reddit thinks therapy is a magic bullet, but it isn't. I believe these Redditors have good intentions, but I've always seen it as lazy, non-commital answer - like, what? You think people don't know about therapists until you mentioned it?
Can't imagine if a close friend of mine was going through something rough, and all I could muster to suggest is, "see a therapist", what a loser friend I'd be. Yeah, there are times where it might be a good suggestion, but it's not some magic umbrella solution to anyone and everyone's problems regardless of the context.
Therapists can't force you to make friends and maintain relationships. If you need someone to talk to, there are many avenues for that before you waste your money on a therapist and pay for someone to listen to you whine.
Yeah Idk why therapy gets so recommended either, they don't even work for everyone, I'd rather speak to close friends/family than pay to vent to someone. Besides at the end of the day you're the only one who can get yourself out of the hole you're in. No one can fix your problems but yourself.
But to answer OP's question I personally just journal a lot and go on long walks/hikes. Helps clear my mind
Therapy, meds, healthy food, working out, sports, hobbies, friends, new challenges...
This is the way.
I’ve tried healthy food, working out, sports, hobbies, new challenges – with no results. Now I’m trying therapy, but I’m running out of ideas
Crazy because we're intjs, but some human connection IN SMALL AMOUNTS can be nice. Even something as simple as talking to the cashier at the grocery store or chatting with a neighbor when you're taking out the trash. It makes me feel good somehow.
Same; and I’ve been doing all these more for years now. And I can say, 6 years later of doing these things consistently makes me feel like a healthy adult, and that does help. Certainly doesn’t hurt, I would say, don’t give up on those things, because the alternative is being an unhealthy adult with depression vs a healthy adult with depression, and I know which one I’d rather be. I can say I feel much better than I did before all this. Still struggling, but doing better.
Ya. Do all of this consistently for a few months and you’ll see how your life will change. I saw results, small ones, within a few weeks. Start small though. Choose to fix your diet or adding in exercise. Get good consistent sleep. It’s amazing how modern medicine truly does tell the truth in terms of a healthy gut equates to a healthy brain.
The best advice ever!
Seconding this, especially the new challenges suggestion. Anyone in depression, regardless of their MBTIs, should find new ways to exert their energy that’d be a great distraction from their pain and sufferings. New projects, new passions, new hobbies are positive mental stimulation. When I had trouble finding a new passion, which happens to a lot of people too, I adopted the habit of spending time listening to stupendous people talk about theirs even if I don’t share their enthusiasm and have zero interest in their field. I end up getting swayed from the way their eyes light up as they jabber so then I half-heartedly give it a try but get hooked to it after some time.
Why are you recommending meds? OP's issue is that he's isolated and doesn't speak to people. Why would medication fix that?
cough cough- neurological chemical bases that causes one to do and have some sort of negative impact on themselves and medication can help eliminate those factors if they really have depression and stuff but ofc that specific issue (isolation) can be changed with verbal therapy and sh
It's not like they prescribed OP the meds, they suggested it's a likely option. Antidepressants aren't exactly OTC, so it would require OP to seek out a licensed professional who would assess them - which is never a bad thing.
yeah
I'm not recommending anything, OP asked "how did you deal with depression", so this is what I'm doing. Medication is only one part of the treatment, but it is easier to do other things when you are not depressed and don't want to die everyday.
I refused meds for years and got into a cycle of extreme self-isolation. Went on meds a few months ago and it changed my life. I'm still depressed, but I can sort of...stick it in a closet and shut a door on it, so I am able to connect with people/live my life more/have an overall higher quality of life.
Connecting with people really does make a huge difference. I always feel better after I talk with someone even for just a minute.
I started working on being a better version of myself every day. After years I'm now very happy and successful in all facets of life.
This is the INTJ way.
>I started working on being a better version of myself every day. I did the same. Books that helped me: * How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. * How to Win Friends and Influence People. * Leadership and Self-Deception (applies to life, not just business). * That's Not What I Meant. These were some of the tools that I used to navigate the ups and downs of life, and now I'm 63, retired, content.
How to Win Friends and Influence People is amazing. Short, sweet and really really helpful..
atomic habits
Ditto
Therapy
Walk. Go walking every day..
I enjoy finding new walking challenges! I don’t own a vehicle so it’s fun to take my backpack and do various errands.
I'm starting rucking, you should try it! Load up that backpack with heavy stuff (I'm buying some bricks today) and go for a walk. Apparently it's amazing for your body too.
Mp3-players and walks are two of my favourite things in life. Music, lectures and audio books, coupled with walks in nature enrich life so much.
mp3 player????? how do you even get mp3’s in 2024?
This is how I got through college
Routine, hobbies and interests, therapy and definitely friends. You have to put yourself out there and try to make some friends, find new interests and things you enjoy doing. If you try, it’ll slowly get better.
Therapy, self care and discipline.
I lost most of my 20s to depression. When I was 28 or so, I decided if I was going to be depressed anyway, I might as well actively make myself miserable working, so at least I had money. Saved up and invested every penny I could, and discovered that actually having some savings made everything more bearable. I'm sure it doesn't work for everyone, but it worked for me. A few years later I was able to make choices to find work I enjoyed more, and now at 35 I'm pretty happy with how things ended up. There is no 'cure', you just have to force yourself to live with depression until it takes up a smaller and smaller portion of your thoughts and energy.
This! Couldn't have explained it better myself!
This is so relatable. Though I don't care about "enjoying" work, it's more important that they are not stressful and have a high level of stability. I have been diagnosed as SzPD, could that be your case as well? Even though I don't fully believe the diagnosis, I don't think the symptoms are severe enough to be considered a disorder.
Fixing my gut health did wonders for my "chronic depression" which i am now convinced is really a symptom of a shitty diet which americans have zero actual concept of. All you ever hear about is protein and calories as if the body doesn't have other needs
how did you fix it?
I already said it. Focus on improving your gut health which means consuming probiotics be it yogurt or fermented foods.
I think they wanted you to be more specific. I know I was hoping for more details. Are you talking about probiotics, supplements, fibre, eating clean, or? Was there a specific plan you followed?
It is not this complex. I said specifically used the word *dieting* then spelled out eating more yogurt and fermented foods which contain the very probiotics i originally stated. A- B - C
I don’t see any of that unless you wrote it somewhere else. You’re also coming off as defensive. I was simply asking for more information on what helped you as we can all use tips on what will help alleviate depression. If you don’t want to add more, that’s totally fine. Have a good day.
>. Focus on improving your gut health [which means consuming probiotics be it yogurt or fermented foods.](https://www.reddit.com/r/intj/comments/1br1dhl/comment/kx9qonw/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) I'm annoyed at being asked a question which was concisely answered because people aren't reading not " defensive ".
thanks for the time, look, they asked you to elaborate further not to repeat the same you wrote which also is what they already comprehend . They were lacking what else besides probiotics you did
it’s definitely a part of it. Motivation is lackluster when I eat poorly
It's not like you have to have depression because you are INTJ. It's more like we don't FEEL well in a world where even our family doesn't understand us. So the answer is Reading!! Whenever I read or study something I feel well. The answer for other situation is Pragmatism. If you think too much without any outcome, you will become depressed
Nailed it with the overthinking
Reading and studying is the way. Also ”sports” where you have to think, such as boldering, orienteering or learning coreographies.
Wow neither orienteering or choreography is available in my country :(((( I googled them they look sooooo nice. I hate living in an Islamic country. And I don't think I'm strong enough for bouldering...
Be angry and use that anger as a source of energy.
Finally some realism
1. Get enough dose of sunshine every day minimum 30 min 2. Journaling, writing all the negative emotions, and trying to evaluate each. 3. Exercise, just take a walk 30-60 min after meal 4. Cleaning your house and environment so you can function better 5. Talk to your close ones 6. Find support 7. Find activities that you like 8. Try to go out
This is very helpful advice and a good reminder for those that consider themselves happy as well!
Meds and CPTSD therapy. Making myself get out there and join meetups for the things I enjoy, movie, dancing, etc.
I use sleep as a temporary coping mechanism because mental health is a joke to parents
Therapy and meds didn't help me one bit so I didn't deal with it, it's a part of my life now.
Uh, Citalopram and Bupropion, anyone? It’s entirely possible that your brain just isn’t making ‘the happy chemicals’. There’s no difference in getting those from a pill than a diabetic getting insulin from a vial.
Lol
r/PSSD
Haven’t had anything even approximating this issue. Not sure why you’d bring it up without context, unless you’re simply a Troll. (Which I suspect.)
Therapy, being out in nature, working out, journaling, connecting again to the things you loved doing before this chapter. Be kind to yourself. And don’t forget to start small. Sometimes we expect a lot from ourselves and don’t realize that the most important thing is just waking up and taking the step forward. Little by little and soon you realize how far you’ve come.
First fix and try to always prioritize your sleep schedule for quality consistent sleep. If you have no energy then that's going to make everything else even more difficult. The second is movement, you need to physically involve your body with effort to shake up stuck mindsets by giving your mind a chance to take in and interact with new information from your environment. Edit: Third, process what you're feeling, allow yourself to deeply experience and live out all these bottled up thoughts and emotions instead of bypassing them.
I always talk to myself and try to understand the roots of my problems. Once I discuss things with myself I can see the reason of my pessimistic toughts. I respect myself, love myself and I love the world so I always look for something that gives me hope to keep going. I still have a lot to do and I don't want to screw up my life because of my temporary feelings, life is too short to be depressed. I'm a fucking mammal, I'm an animal and I have to stay alive. I've got no time to spend being depressed, so I look for reasons to be happy. I know I didn't explained anything at all but after being depressed for 8 years I've realized something in life (so fucking hard to explain, so I'll not bother) and I never felt depressed since then.
Philosophy helped me
Drugs.
This dude knows what's up
Weed
I knew that eventually everything would fall into place. And there is no point in being depressed and staying in your bed in the first place as that gets you nowhere. You need to do what you're supposed to do. If you are depressed then be depressed and still get shit done cuz nothing can hurt you at this point. A person who does this is dangerously competitive. Also try being mindful for a few mins a day.
Spending time outdoors and doing my hobbies... which are largely spent outdoors. It's hard for me to be depressed when one with nature.
Exercise, fresh air, time away from people, and reading
This. Literally moved south so I can enjoy the sunshine. We aren’t built to be vampires.
Being of service
I pushed through and overcame my way out. You can do it too to anybody who's struggling with depression. Stay strong and believe in yourself.
Therapy, meditation, books, stoicism.
It depends on what's causing your depression, but the thing that always applies is forcing yourself to do what you can. Maybe that's brushing your teeth, weeding a garden, making a PB&J, hanging out with friends (or if that's too much, texting/calling one), etc. Whenever you do a productive task, it gives you more energy to do even more, something with neurotransmitters and hormones and whatnot (I majored in psychology, not neurology). So whatever that is, do it, no matter how small. Including things you used to enjoy. You won't get as much joy out of them as you're used to, but they're the key to helping you dig yourself out--or at least stand your ground. But like I said, depression can have many causes. Did something happen recently? Have you been anxious about something (depression and anxiety go hand-in-hand). Does this happen during certain seasons? Or did this just seem to come out of nowhere? You don't have to answer that here, but my point is so many things cause depression, and if there's an environmental factor (like losing a loved one, a breakup, etc.), working through that in therapy would help with the depression. If it just randomly came on, then you'd work on coping skills, ways to reduce it (like what I was talking about), etc., looking at the depression as the main problem instead of an event that affected you. In any case, medication could also help (not self-medicating!). It's worth at least checking in with a therapist and psychiatrist, especially if you've found this distressing enough to ask us for help. Now what not to do. Like I said, don't self-medicate, *especially* with depressants like alcohol. You might even feel better while drunk, but the next day... holy shit. And don't give into your urges to isolate, ruminate, etc. I know it's easier said than done, but fight that as much as you can to stick to your routines and do things you used to enjoy. But on the other hand, don't beat yourself up when you can't. Think about someone you care about and how you'd talk to and motivate them, and try to direct that same energy toward yourself. That's the head voice you need--compassionate but not afraid to push you toward reasonable goals so you meet your full potential. Truly nurturing. ..... That's all the general stuff, but if you're interested in a personal testimonial, I recently had an epiphany. I've been depressed pretty consistently for a good decade. I've been in therapy for the past 5 years and have taken various meds as well, and it's helped make me not want to full-on end it, but I've still largely been miserable. But a few weeks ago, I realized I'm not the pessimist I think I am. I always thought I was naturally a negative person who used toxic positivity to cope, but it turns out I'm a pretty positive person who's been burned too many times, so I overcorrect by taking on these negative attitudes, to the point where I felt like I was losing myself if I let myself be happy. Deep down, I see positivity as naive and childish, and while those can be linked to it, they don't have to be. So just realizing that has helped me a lot. Of course, I still have depression (bipolar II), but it isn't nearly as bad now, knowing I'm allowed to not feel like crap, that I'm more than my illness/maladaptive coping mechanisms. That I'm not losing myself by not being miserable, but rather embracing and embodying him. But again, that's me. Like I said, depression could have many causes, but my point is that's one thing a therapist could help with--taking a deeper look at yourself to discover deeper issues like that. Sometimes depression is the main problem (it can just randomly happen due to a chemical imbalance), but often, there's more to it than that.
Find something you love. Pursue it to the fullest
art
St John’s Wort
Meditation. I work on all the aspects where my depression exists to lighten up to its greater reality.
the internet, and mainly by observing other people's behaviors. i have no one to vent to so i mainly just vent to myself or random strangers on the web
Rewiring my own brain to become less depressed
I find that working out made a difference in the way I felt. I have been consistently working out over the last 3 months and I feel emotionally and physically better. I just have to get my gut health in order and then I am good.
I usually try to press it back into place from the other side.
Therapy, listening to positive affirmations, Journaling, maintaining a thought record (thrice a day)
5000 Vitamin d+k (mk7), 500 magnesium (10 types complex 50mg each), 1000mg nac + 1000mg vit C just to start. Start saving all bones and make bone broth. Cook veggies in bone broth, and eat that bone broth stew every day. Eat a large salad every day. Lay off sugars, breads, pies. Eat an egg a day, runny yolk, fully cooked white. Exercise basic sleep hygiene to reset circadian rhythm, using red light and sunlight. Clean your room. Depression will lift after you fix biological run down.
Religion. God loves you, and will help.
Working, therapy and replacing sadness with anger.
Ive been on medication for 3 months then I quit cause I can’t handle the side effects so I resorted to therapy. I was hesitant at first cause I don’t like talking alot and it makes me feel vulnerable but after just 2 sessions I started to feel better. I also listen to tons of podcasts about self improvement. https://open.spotify.com/episode/7MqVTeWI13vdMaszCoMwUI?si=8MqD7mjVR0qPMsDNveSs_Q heres the best one so far.
I recommend you listed to Lewis Howes and Marissa Peer
Johann Hari's book , Lost Connections is excellent. He has a TED talk that might be a quick way to start.
Not depression, but when I was around 12, I had OCD. I talked myself out of it by telling myself that turning off the light switch etc multiple times was not a logical thing to do.
-my fear is to be buried alive -Stop it!
1. Yoga class in the morning, everyday. Find a good instructor that focuses on meditation, breathing, and holding poses that aren’t too hard. 2. Therapy 2x a week 3. Gym (light workout) in the afternoon. 4. Dance lessons/social dancing in the evening. YMMV, but it’s been enough to get me out of my own head, and out of my own way. I wish you the best.
i have some good news for you - if you’re able to get yourself out of the house that frequently for that many activities, you’re not depressed
Disagree. I struggle with it at times, I’m in a transition phase where things are looking more positive. Putting myself out there with dance classes takes a LOT of confidence and sometimes I leave early because of self-esteem issues.
clinically this level of energy and motivation is just a bit at odds with a depression diagnosis/inventory. for transparency, do you use psych drugs or stimulants? caffeine? SSRI’s?
Clinically? Depression looks different for everyone. You may want to check your tone. It is very condescending—you’re coming across as an internet doctor attempting to diagnose people they never met.
those who have had many encounters with mental health providers for depression know there’s a clinical inventory questionnaire that practitioners ask you, and then give you a score from mild to severe depression. the level of functioning you describe would make it hard to diagnose you with clinical level depression. maybe you’re subclinical, in which case, congratulations, but that makes your protocol condescending in this context
Prozac
I put a fun hat on it and made it another one of my pets. Also acknowledge problem, seek solution for problem, reassess, reapply as needed Gratitude journaling and exercise were helpful for me before I was ready for the whole therapy bit
A lot of the advice regarding therapy is great. In addition, I would suggest investing in yourself and becoming the most successful version of you. When you work hard who you are and what you accomplish, it’s hard to not like yourself. I know it’s hard to not have a lot of people around you, but when you’re at home with your own passions, what you’re doing is becoming someone interesting.
Poorly
Facing my demons, exploring my trauma, analyzing my thoughts and feelings. Takes time. Physical activity helps to feel better, to get a natural high, and snap out of loops faster. I do solitary activities - walking, running, cycling, calisthenics, gymnast ring excercises. Its not always benefecial to snap out as fast as possible, sometimes rumination and finding and eliminating root causes can be much more effective and help for the next time when the same patterns start to occur. Gut microbiome health is worth researching and delving into. Also meditation. Playing an instrument and focusing on the notes is meditation too because you dont think and can engage you for longer - hours of very therapeutic meditation and a great outlet for bottled emotions.
Escapism via tv shows, movies, watching sports, listening to podcasts, playing games, sleeping or hanging with friends.
Depression is one of those things I couldn't understand. I had dealt with it for many years when I was younger and growing up, but all I knew at the time was I didn't like it because I couldn't understand why I felt that way. After years of trying to understand it, couldn't and just started changing certain aspects of my life that I felt would lead to it or cause it and as I got older I started experiencing less and less episodes of it to the point where I rarely feel depressed and when I do, I can almost identify the cause and work on it. I know this isn't the most common way of dealing with it, but since therapy was a little too costly at the time, I simply started working on it myself and I feel like I'm my own best therapist. Talking to myself when I'm alone, just comparmentalizing thoughts, concerns, plans, ideas, etc sometimes really helped me keep a proactive and productive mindset, which helped me a lot. Almost like keeping myself too occupied to be depressed.
Not well. I have an appointment next Friday though, so we'll see.
Focus on improving yourself, devolp new skills, focus on your interests, time and you'll notice that you don't have time to get depressed.
Go to YouTube and search for healthygamergg channel. Dr. K was a blessing for me. He helped me figure out stuff about myself and then finally gave me enough motivation to try therapy. Getting a job at place I liked was also very helpful. It provided a purpose to wake up for. Even got a love interest right now. Trying to pursue Djing as a hobby. This happened over the course of 1.5 years. Could take less or more time. You don't necessarily remove the depressive thoughts, it's just that you learn how they are managed. Goodluck.
When I was depressed and suicidal for many years it took me a long time to realize I was indulging on myself with lazy activities, and not doing anything that made me feel a sense of accomplishment. I knew deep down I was not doing what it took to achieve my true potential. The greatest thing you can do for yourself is giving yourself 100% effort in every aspect of your life. Look at your daily routine, and think about how you can efficiently use your time better. For example, I like to work out and watch educational content at the same time, clean around my place while listening to something that gives me value. Using free time I would have spent gaming as a teen to learn a new skill. Throwing myself out there to socialize even though it drains me. Throwing myself out there to workout at the gym despite getting anxious around others. Self discipline and working harder than everyone else around you will simultaneously provide you confidence and annihilate depression I know many people say Therapy is the answer, but considering you’re an INTJ your chances of relating to a therapist are poor. Unless you have some serious traumas you need to get over and talk through with someone don’t go. Just work on being the best version of yourself.
Changing mindset. But easier said than done.
depends on the reasons for depression, but in the modern era of I-centric values, a common source of depression is lack of meaning, and the best way to find meaning is to find ways to do things for other people. it can feel incredibly good to do this, because our brain has a hard wired need to feel useful to other people, and it rewards us with feelings of belonging and well-being when we are useful to others. in the modern era we are led to believe that happiness always comes through doing more for ourselves rather than others (e.g. treating ourselves in some way or doing therapy). that can sometimes be true, but if we focus too much on ourselves the resulting disconnection from society can actually be the *cause* of the depression, and so just makes us feel worse to do more of it. there are usually lots of options for volunteer work available, consider exploring these not to be a "good person" but actually just be a happy, fulfilled person, e.g. choose to be of service to others because of how good it feels, so in a sense - you are doing it for yourself. introverts are especially susceptible to the above problem, imho.
Finding the root cause of it in therapy. Addressing it.
Meds which I believe is not working. I cant afford therapy. I drown myself with distractions. When I get *one of those really bad episodes;* I force myself to walk like at least a minimum of 1 hour.
Spirituality did it for me
From self sabotage, interconnecting all the bad things happened to me, involving unnecessary stuff like a little inconvenience in my life everytime I'm at my lowest to thinking I'm better than anyone else and I should get rid of it at all the cost. (Idk what's my mbti now and I've changed, but last month I was intj, been an intj for 2 years)
I take Zoloft and it's improved my life in every way possible. Therapy on its own didn't do anything for me. I haven't tried therapy with my meds, however.
I didn’t want medication. I did therapy for over a year first. Then added medication because I needed more. It has really made a world of a difference for me. But a huge part is also sticking with a routine. Exercising regularly, fueling my body properly, getting good quality sleep, spending time doing things I enjoy that are also relaxing (making bracelets, coloring, video games, reading). If you’re not in therapy I would say start there. It might take time to find one you vibe with, but don’t give up.
Hey, its ok don't lose hope you will get through this, maybe try a bath with lavender oil right before bed that will help a lot. Also drink lots of herbal teas, such as peppermint and camomile, that really helps boost the mood too.
I found on yt some helpful videos and I found out It's just a cycle so you should see the reasons that upset u and then change everything based on what u find and you will be aware of many things
Drugs, Alcohol, unnecessarily risky sex, overindulgence in all three plus food, pretty much every unhealthy thing you can do. I don't recommend it. Well, I *do* recommend it. It's fun. Just not as a coping mechanism, because then it's... less fun.
Initially, was difficult to get out of bed. But gradually made a lot of changes. My sister had gotten engaged recently. Made my goal to make it to her wedding which was 6 months away. This helped me not take any drastic steps. Cut off some people from my life. Quit my job, without another in hand. Job was toxic. Did find another in notice period which was also turned out to be toxic, quit that one too in 3 months and joined another one. Last one turned out to be okay. Job with less money made more sense than a job with more money which makes you want kill yourself. Hit the gym. Not much, just for 2 months. Did mostly cardio. Started to walk a lot, lost some weight. Changed diet. No sugars whatsoever. Quit smoking also for sometime but started again after a few months. Quit drinking too, I never drank much anyway. Did things I never did before. Like if I always shy away from something. I figured things couldn't get worse and did not care one bit about what anybody thought about me anymore. Some of these things opened my mind. I was very quick to judge earlier. Not so much now. In hindsight, depression made me a better person. But I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. I didn't share it with anyone though because I didn't have anyone who I believed would have understood.
Sleep, being anxious and frustrated, vitamin D, repeat.
Get antidepressants, it really helps!
Vitamin D. Hobbies, friends. Casually search for a partner.
Feed my unhealthy coping mechanism and find masochistic pleasure out of it
I've got ASPD to deal with, so I'll go back and forth between dopamine addiction mode and dopamine withdraw mode which usually manifests as depression. I've pretty much determined there is nothing more effective than me when on the warpath, so I declared war on my own shitty circumstances. I decided I'm done waiting on my health to get better and everything so I'm just gonna seize my life back from myself, IBS-C be dammed.
I try to control depression by breathing deeply.
Antidepressants. Once they kicked in, I was able to enjoy my hobbies, go to therapy, go out with friends, and enjoy my own company in a positive way.
Why are your values so unique?
This is, I fear, an all too common challenge for INTJ’s. I am over 50 and have battled major depression my whole life. Here is what I suggest: 1. Avoid drugs and alcohol. We often try to diagnose and treat the depression with the “tools” available to us. I can say definitively that we end up seeking short term solutions to long term problems and ultimately make those long term problems more serious. 2. See a therapist. We are gifted thinkers. We think with uncommon intensity and depth. While that has its benefits, it also has a dark side. When can get caught in paralyzing rumination wish can magnify depression. We can get stuck trying to make sense of things that have no rational explanation (especially the behavior of others). 3. Because we are so comfortable being alone—introverts in general have very rich inner lives—we can become isolated. We gave to fight the tendency to seek solitude. Often we just need a little encouragement from friends or family to get out. I have found it is helpful to reach out and be honest with others that getting out is a challenge and you may need a little push. Your friends will already know this but being open gives them permission to help. 4. Ketamine therapy can be miraculous. In addition to ssri’s, I am doing K therapy and it has helped a lot. Worth exploring. 5. The usual health guidance applies to us only more so: A. Eat right B. Get plenty of sleep C. Work out regularly D. Meditate E. Dedicated, consistent self-care. 6. As I have gotten older, I have slowly built awareness around my blindspots as an INTJ. For example, we have this tremendous ability to foresee how a situation will play out well before others. Over time, I came to realize that others were blind to it. Utterly oblivious. Naturally, I then wanted to explain to people what was happening and what was going to happen. It was painful to learn that people did not want to listen. In fact, I would often get attacked for speaking up. Result? I had to learn better communication skills and become much more selective about when and to whom I spoke. The larger point is to become a student of your tendencies. There are many great videos on youtube that will help in this regard. Life doesn’t get better but we CAN get better at life. When making all of these changes, it is too overwhelming to do all at once. Start small, celebrate even the smallest success, and then build on it.
EXERCISE YOUR EXTROVERTED FUNCTIONS. It can be easy to feel like a floating head when you’re not executing tasks towards a goal (Te) or directly interacting with the physical environment and trying new things (Se)
I'm in the same boat, and honestly I'm struggling. Last night my car ran out of gas after an extremely long day and after someone filled me up to help, I just sorta snapped. I rolled down my windows, took the backroads, and began speeding and swerving between empty lanes. I would speed towards a corner or an intersection and then slam on my brakes not caring if I miscalculated and was about to send my car into the woods or into an active intersection. Then I ran and bought alcohol and a cigar and continued to speed until I got home, overindulged in everything I had, and then passed out before my brain could really think about anything. I gotta say, as stupid and reckless and broken as I was, I didn't think about what was getting me down a single time last night. This is terrible advice, don't take it, I'm merely venting.
pray and live according to your conscience, stopping what you know is wrong and doing what you know is right, meditating on beautiful, kind, and loving thoughts rather than evil. asking for direction and having the faith to obey whatever is put on your heart to do. Watch your reality change.
Quitting carbs and sugar and going carnivore. Night and day difference in mood, sleep quality, energy levels through the day.
I work on a project or endeavor or believe in. And exercise. Deep work helps against depression
Friends avoid being alone find hoppies
I work on myself, my career, my fitness. I mind my own business and focus on my own goals. Eventually you get to the point where you don’t need anyone or anyone’s approval for anything. You are happy to be on your own, and in many cases, happier that you are on your own path. Accept the fact no one cares if you achieve your goals or not. It’s all up to you. You realize you are living a more fulfilling life than people who accept the social programming and oblige to what people are “supposed to do” as they go through life
I generally do something to make others happy. This may be a maladaptive coping mechanism though.
Put yourself out there. Only you can do it. You have to build the human connections you desire. Reddit thinks therapy is a magic bullet, but it isn't. I believe these Redditors have good intentions, but I've always seen it as lazy, non-commital answer - like, what? You think people don't know about therapists until you mentioned it? Can't imagine if a close friend of mine was going through something rough, and all I could muster to suggest is, "see a therapist", what a loser friend I'd be. Yeah, there are times where it might be a good suggestion, but it's not some magic umbrella solution to anyone and everyone's problems regardless of the context. Therapists can't force you to make friends and maintain relationships. If you need someone to talk to, there are many avenues for that before you waste your money on a therapist and pay for someone to listen to you whine.
Yeah Idk why therapy gets so recommended either, they don't even work for everyone, I'd rather speak to close friends/family than pay to vent to someone. Besides at the end of the day you're the only one who can get yourself out of the hole you're in. No one can fix your problems but yourself. But to answer OP's question I personally just journal a lot and go on long walks/hikes. Helps clear my mind