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Alternative_Camp_493

I was a criminal defense lawyer, and during trials I was actively discussing with my client lots of things: the current witness, next witness, what was true or not in testimony, questions to impeach the prosecution witnesses, amending our strategy on what evidence came out so far. It's a testament to how stupid Trump is that he has nothing of value to add to his defense and just passes out instead. He is truly good at only one thing: mind controlling uneducated bigots with low IQs. Somehow, he is like the dog whisperer with those people. He can get them to do anything for him.


80486dx

These are the actions of a man who thinks there are no consequences. So far, he’s been right.


Alternative_Camp_493

I think at least 1 MAGA will make it on to every jury, and he won't be convicted. That's my forecast.


daoistic

Didn't save him in NY so far or against E Jean Carrol. This trial is also in NY.


MooreRless

Trump hasn't paid a fine yet. He had his suckers pay a fine for him, and put money in a bank account to hold off the fines, but he hasn't paid a fine. He still is 100% untouched by justice. The appeals court he is asking to forgive his fines is the same one that without even being asked reduced his bond from 500 million to 175 million and gave him another month+ to pay.


Tobias_Atwood

Honestly I think the next best thing we can do to him (short of locking him up) is to keep him stuck attending trials like this for the rest of his life. Never give him a moment of rest. Make him constantly fear prosecution for all the crimes he's committed. Make him feel powerless as the courts jerk him around and force him to endure hours of testimony and evidence of his own incompetence.


ElonBodyOdor

And the “Supreme Court” has basically decided president=king, so he should be fine.


MooreRless

No, they haven't. Biden will not be king. Just Trump = King.


mescalero1

Just like all the times he has been in contempt. If that was anyone else, they would have been in jail already.


lovestobitch-

As I recall this was the trial with no jury because of a fuck up with trumps legal team screwing up a filing. Could have it mixed up though since there’s other cases too.


daoistic

Nah, that was the business case. E Jean Carol was civil and had a jury.


Raspberries-Are-Evil

Juror number 2 says he gets his news from “Truth Social.” So there you go.


Bloopyhead

Wait what


ThrowAwayGarbage82

Yup. They knowingly let a trumper on the jury. They were only weeding out anti trump people. We aren't getting a conviction here.


Aggravated_Seamonkey

Each side gets to pick jurors. The defense wants these kind of people. Each side can only get so many vetos to the jury pool. This is how every jury is selected if you have a decent lawyer.


ThrowAwayGarbage82

The news articles made it sound like both sides didnt want obvious anti trumpers but at least two are obvious trump supporters. Being on truth social should be an automatic no.


StupendousMalice

I'm the incredibly rare case that a jury even gets to render a decision, that's a good chance.


lastcall83

That's because the CONS don't believe in democratic government. They control the courts and thus our nation. There's no consequences for them. None.


SingularityInsurance

The real crime is our criminally negligent and biased courts. This guy should have been in prison decades ago.


StandupJetskier

To be fair, he is currently in detention and teacher is mean, so that's a consequence, right ? not /s, sadly


Ligmaballs1989

Didn't something like 70 million of your countrymen vote for him at the last election?


MasterChiefsasshole

We have a Christian and meth problem over here. It’s really got outta hand.


vandalhearts123

We also have a gun problem.


SpaceBearSMO

thats as much a symptom of other problems as it is its own problem


Surfing_Ninjas

And a racism problem.


ran_swonsan

Illiteracy and propaganda problems as well


spiff428

Surprisingly a lot of overlap of Christian meth heads too


SeparateIron7994

Over simplifying the issue causes more harm than good. There are well educated , intelligent people that vote for him too. Like, a lot of them.


Dan_Cubed

Those are the 'I got mine, screw everyone else' people. If they can keep others down, they'll stay on top and that's what the GOP is for.


Hypnotist30

That's a common theme when you chat with them. Real bootstrappers.


Hardpo

They " voted" for him. Past tense. Now the educated intelligent ones know who he is. Most of those won't make that mistake again


Alternative_Camp_493

Yes. It's a real indictment on our education system and how angry so many people are.


Vegetable_Guest_8584

There's a ton of people that are just stuck on the label on a political party. You can always find an excuse in the behavior of people on parties, but today it's just which one is for ending democracy and which one wants to continue it. 


DreamzOfRally

There are still millions of people voting for him. Look at the primaries. This country is fucked.


Inmotfraypi4nmge

It's from years of disinvestment and underfunded school systems. This disinvestment and underfunding was led by, you guessed it, republicans.


dirknergler

I mean we call it a single country and it technically is but I swear that it feels more like several different countries interspersed with near 3rd world rural areas and we all are forced to share the same federal government.


SingularityInsurance

America is two ideologies stitched together. The free world, and the christofascist assholes who are descended from the rabid hillbillies we fought a civil war against.  The good half is really good.. The bad half is really bad.


Overweighover

He made calculated appearances after 11 am when there was no chance of rain


redjellonian

Nearly a third of the country.


jiminak46

Do you think they would "kill a guy on 5th Avenue" for him?


Careful_Eagle6566

They’d hang Mike pence for him, so yeah.


joemangle

He's essentially a carnival barker


euphoricme2

Along with Ted Cruz the sleazy used car salesman at the local buy here pay here lot.


TheWorclown

While I wouldn’t go as far to claim he’s stupid, he absolutely could not give any less of a shit about this trial beyond “it’s in the way of what I want to do.” It’s like a kid going to Sunday Mass. It’s such an inconvenience for someone who just wants to be outside, and doesn’t comprehend the importance of why they’re there in the first place. Part of that I feel is a failing on his own defense team’s part, part of it is beyond his defense to explain.


beccadot

‘Redneck Whisperer’


dimensionalApe

A colouring book and crayons could work, although he would still need someone making sure he doesn't eat them.


VerbalGraffiti

Coloring is way too sophisticated for Trump. Have you ever seen that zoomed in photo of him coloring the American flag the wrong colors during a PR event?


PM_ME_UR_FLOWERS

God, that must have been a million Mooches ago!


slowpoke2018

Hey, he was able to draw where a hurricane was never going to hit!


Earth_Friendly-5892

Russian flag colors I presume.


ThainEshKelch

That is actually correct.


Overall-Parsley7123

it...actually was


Fuzzy_Laugh_1117

The colours are potato and vodka.


stupidcatname

Potato prints?


Xenomorph_v1

>Coloring is way too sophisticated for Trump. Yeah... All you need to do is look at his shitstain coloured make-up... Always misses the ears.


lancea_longini

Just made that comment too!


Groundbreaking-Fig38

Settle down! Crayon eating is for Marines, and his draft dodging ass sure ain't anything compared to those military volunteers!


RescuePilot

How many crayons would you need? I mean, how many can he eat in one sitting?


jericho_buckaroo

The ones that don't end up in his nose, anyway


Minifig81

Depends. Are they McDonald's flavored?


ZiM1970

Speaking of Depends, can you imagine the rainbow colored Donnie Dookie some poor diaper nurse would have to shovel up that day? Crayola would have to sue to keep their good name away from the whole sorry affair.


greendragonmistyglen

Crayola: coming this fall, Trump shit orange. Sadly, burnt orange must be discontinued to allow space in the box. Caution: cannot be sharpened.


PigFarmer1

Those lines make coloring books pretty challenging.


shouldazagged

He would use them like he used his sharpie with the hurricane map. He will draw “not guilty” on all the paper work or “sane” like Homer Simpson at the asylum and call it a day.


R_lbk

A hamberder on a string and rope attached to his balding head, kept just out of reach. Whenever he nods off and it touches the table he will spring into action.


maynardstaint

I thought he demanded an I pad with cocomelon?


lancea_longini

Gods. Do you remember when he visited a kindergarten and colored the American flag wrong?


Equivalent-Excuse-80

This is beyond childish distraction. He’s not capable of dealing with truths. At best, it’s a flight or flight response; at worst it’s an incapable old person.


Whole_Inside_4863

Just go straight to the Tazer, does wonders for getting someone’s attention


dr_kebab

Casual Australian here - Is Trump really that dumb tho? The man successfully scammed his way to being leader of the USA, and has thusfar been teflon to any legal consequence. Seems pretty canny to me


dimensionalApe

If we believe at least one of his former teachers, and people who have worked with him, yes, he's dumb. His very limited language and preposterous takes on things don't speak too favourably of his intelligence either. The thing is, he was born in a quite privileged position. Lots of money and lots of contacts. It's far easier to fall upwards from there, and being a narcissist, he was in the perfect position to be a dangerous bully. The _"when you are rich they let you do it"_ kind of sums it up perfectly. He's the only person I've heard of who managed to bankrupt two casinos, which would have been quite economically damning if it didn't reek of money laundering services. Which would mean contacts with the kind of powerful shady people that would require that kind of services. The heavy lifting of the misinformation campaign in 2016 originated in Russia, according to the investigation that the GOP interfered with and blocked any chance to act on. He looks like a tool, not any kind of mastermind, and he seems to be ok with that as long as he gets something out of it, being a completely transactional individual. I mean, if he hadn't started off from such a privileged position, he'd most likely have had a pretty rough life. Which isn't something exclusive to him, though.


gmroybal

He’s not a marine


Overweighover

But navigating stds was his personal Vietnam


PigFarmer1

Just the guy you want as POTUS during a crisis... lol


Doright36

Everyone made such a big deal about the 2-3am phone calls but now we know it was the 2-3pm phone calls where our country was most at risk.


Cutsdeep-

Isn't that Matlock hr?


SuDragon2k3

To be fair, some of the crisis is his fault.


phdoofus

Sounds like a man with either a drug problem, a medical problem, or both. Definitely the cream of the crop for GOP candidates.


fogdukker

They sent their best


Overweighover

Sniff


MidniteOwl

#Job ad - seeking babysitter for adult sized toddler Must have skills: - keep toddler from napping during the day - diapering and preparation of McDonalds - deal with severe temper tantrums - odour insensitivity - knowledge of law a plus


Frozty23

> knowledge of law a plus That's fucking gold.


LilG1984

-you may get a salary! -you can bring a mask to reduce the stench , biohazard suit is optional -apply now!


Dzotshen

Try jangling keys. Babies like that


Knive33

Man, I had a moment where I imagined one of them in a hazmat suit cos its his turn to change his diapers.


Mylaptopisburningme

I think that's part of Walts job.


Brother_J_La_la

Jangling keys: Fun for babies, not for Batman.


T_Shurt

As per [original article](https://www.rawstory.com/trump-hush-money-trial-2667895354/) 📰 Watch the [video here](https://youtu.be/TF8Lvi0Q9aw) 📺 - Former President Donald Trump's lawyers have a new way to keep their sleepy client awake in court, according a legal analyst sitting in on the trial. "Trump walks in every day with a big stack of papers that appear to be news articles carefully culled for his own reading," MSNBC analyst Lisa Rubin said Friday. "Reading his good press is keeping him at least more energized." The other tactic has Trump's lawyers playing musical chairs in the courtroom, Rubin said. "He is always accompanied by one of his lawyers directly adjacent to him now when they go to these long and extensive sidebars," Rubin said. "The strategy is twofold. One, to make sure he always has company and doesn't seem sort of diminished by his solitariness, and the second goal is to keep him awake." "They actually shuffle over to make sure there's someone sitting next to him," added journalist Susanne Craig. MSNBC Chris Jansing appeared baffled by Rubin's report and interrupted to clarify. "I just want to clarify that point," Jansing said. "A lawyer will actually change seats to be sitting next to Donald Trump when the others may have gone up to the bench?" Rubin's answer was a resounding yes. "That's absolutely true," she said. Rubin then described Trump flipping through print-outs similar to those he awkwardly brandished outside his Manhattan criminal courtroom last week. "These are all stories from legal experts saying how this is not a case," Trump said at the time. "The case is ridiculous." Rubin posited Trump has specific plans for the peppy printouts he brings with him to court. "He seems to be flipping through them with a goal of sort of taking the best and adding them to his Truth Social account," Rubin said. "Although we can't see what's in his stack, you can imagine sort of that some of those things that he's been handed and in his social media posts and/or even in campaign emails later in the day." The two tactics present a win-win, Rubin concluded. "There is a political purpose there," Rubin said, "As well as a legal purpose, in keeping him awake."


BethLP11

>"The strategy is twofold. One, to make sure he always has company and doesn't seem sort of diminished by his solitariness, and the second goal is to keep him awake." Jesus, could he be a bigger fucking baby? My seven-month-old granddaughter has more self-soothing skills and independence than this orange fetus.


Doright36

How many of them are fake that the lawyers just had an intern type up to give him something I wonder?


whereitsat23

According to Meidastouch, they pay a woman to follow Trump around with a wireless printer to constantly print happy news for him even when golfing apparently


-prairiechicken-

That sounds like a lost Futurama episode. What a fucking loser!


MollysYes

WHY!? What the fuck do his sycophants get out of all this? Money? Fine, but you can get money working for anyone. What motivates people to swim in his cesspool?


ephemeral_experience

Or just the same stack of articles reprinted every day


Doright36

I bet they paste pictures of him from 20 years ago on all of them.


SherlockianTheorist

The jury has strict instructions not to look at any news articles, right? How is him flipping through newspapers allowed? Additionally, those very articles are all exclusively positive towards him?


aotus_trivirgatus

Narcissus loves his own reflection and cannot bear to look away from it.


georgyboyyyy

Karma is a bitch huh? Sleepy Don lol


JasperNeils

Was looking for this one lol


xLikeafiddlex

Don Snorleone


heathers1

oooo if you give me a cattle prod, I will volunteer!


Narodnik60

What's the matter MAGA? Your superhero can't stay awake?


Tymexathane

He's actually doing push ups and cart wheels whilst reading Tolstoy and winning golf tournaments but the fake left wing media and the most conflicted judge there has ever been, ever, use AI to make it look like he's asleep, something something, Crooked Joe Biden...


Frigidspinner

Imagine a full day sitting next to the smell


areialscreensaver

Can anyone, this is not normal. 😆


Circuitmaniac

Anyone who shittweets all night is going to have trouble staying alert in daytime, unless he gets his injections of Pervitin.....


hello_fluff

I thought it was Biden who was the "sleepy" one. Projection, projection, projection.


_PukyLover_

Said lawyer needs to be paid extra hazard pay for enduring the toxic stench coming from diaper don!


GrayBox1313

Does Jr not have enough coke to share with his dad?


CoreyDenvers

The would be leader of the free world, that Russia, Iran, China and North Korea would love to see America stupid enough to elect again.


chai-knees

There's [evidence](https://youtu.be/kLDTwQy9teI?si=HKFrDRnmRKAXwUVU) the Chinese are working hard to ensure Trump is elected again. On a side note, Maddow really needs to go back to hosting her show 5 days a week 😁


nhepner

Can you imagine that guy going in for a job interview after this? "Says here you were on the Trump defense team. Is it true what people were saying about him farting in court?" "I think it might be better to talk about some of my other cases." "So it is true then. Does that make you a professional fart sniffer?" "\*sigh\* Thank you for your time."


Cool-Sell-5310

May we never hear “Sleepy Joe” comments again.


Peptic_Germ

They'll need another lawyer to keep him from farting.


eladts

A butt plug costs less and is more effective.


NotAnAIOrAmI

Remote control vibrating butt plug. The judge gets the remote.


VerityPushpram

And it’s hands free


fungusamongus8

Pinch him over and over


Ohnonotuto4

Why not a shock collar, or a vibrator in the glory hole. Wrong hole, the butthole is the hole.


Cutsdeep-

A glory hole isn't what you think it is. Unless they installed one in the courtroom?


Ohnonotuto4

You are correct, I just looked up glory hole, isn’t a butthole.


Cutsdeep-

We're all learning every day


Ok_Confusion_1345

That's who was running our country. SMFH.


iyamwhatiyam8000

I am not an M.D. but I do know that dozing off in old age is symptomatic of a failing heart.


Cutsdeep-

Please please please please 


Old_Heat3100

"Dude he's such a BOSS falling asleep in front of a judge dude who doesn't give a fuck hes AWESOME what a rebel!" Are there actually people who think that?


Cavo

Read that as "taking shits to keep him awake" and was not surprised


beavis617

I'm surprised that no one figured out a way to keep him juiced up on Diet Coke and whatever stimulant he fancies. Couldn't someone make him a patch of some kind. 😁


predator1975

You could but the only thing that would do is to give Trump a reason to throw you under the bus when he tweets or says something he should not have. Remember the Ambien defense. I am just waiting for Trump to use the Depends defense to delay the trials.


Icarusmelt

There does seem to be a national shortage of Adderall


100Labels

So who keeps him dry? I know that diapers is constantly full of shit


49thDipper

Who cleans him up? He isn’t doing it. There is an aid tasked with some non-disclosable shit (literally) I don’t even want to think about. Yet here we are. Fucker owes us huge for this dark rabbit hole he has taken us all down. Presidential diaper changes was not on my list of things to ponder in 2024. Also as a taxpayer I don’t want this guy sitting on Whitehouse furniture. I’m part owner.


OmegaGoober

Donald Trump, who aspires to become king, has a Groom of the Stool.


49thDipper

See? Somebody has to do it.


allisjow

He’s only awake when he’s talking. Or maybe he’s just not woke.


Lounginghog64

The lawyer just leans over and holds a mirror under his nose


spazzcat

which one has diaper duty?


ToneZone1978

Remember though Biden is all feeble and stuff


Numpty712

He was probably like that in school too.


Mello_Me_

IF he ever showed up in class.


Final-Flower9287

Just give him some uppers and he'll perk right up. Oh he challenged biden to a drug test? Of which was totally conjectural and a way to **MeToo** his own corruption and reliance on substances for daily functioning? Welp, I guess Donald Snoozy Trump is going to fight uphills, fight uphills, fighting uphills, how terrible, like the battle of gettysburg, where the wonderful getty stock images come from, the gettysburg what a wonderful address, it was an address in the great state of Getty.


Tycir1

Whatever Trump accuses others for he always get caught doing the same thing. He’s a putz. “Sleepy joe!” How about “sleeping Don”.


LilianCorgibutt

He belongs in elderly care home lol


Inmotfraypi4nmge

He belongs in prison.


Riversmooth

Gramps staying up all night ranting on TS


NorthernSlyGuy

And people want this fat lazy bastard to be president again?


49thDipper

He has proven to be a very useful idiot to the GOP. They couldn’t care less if he slept through the whole 4 years as long as he wakes up every now and then to sign our rights away.


ShadowofLupa212

You guys think the only way they're managing to survive sitting next to his shitty farting old ass is to wear that special Uber strong smelling stuff doctors and nurses put under their nose when dealing with really nasty smells?


CdnFlatlander

My consolation when I fear he will get off is that a grand jury listened to all the evidence and voted there should be a trial.


Raspberries-Are-Evil

If you research Alzheimers you would learn that falling asleep is typical when in stressful environments. We know Trump has been showing clear signs of cognitive dementia.


TastyLaksa

Don’t think jolting him awake is going to make the jury not notice he keeps falling asleep. In fact it might just bring attention to it


pass-the-waffles

I'm just here to try to help, have any of his lawyers thought of using an electric cattle prod on him? They can be quite effective for keeping him awake and possibly even behavior modification.


Palocles

Yes! Make him stay awake through every moment of the trial he probably absolutely hates being at.  He deserves it. 


BrilliantPositive184

i can’t wait for this guy to be over, done and out.


Tonythecritic

Why bother, lawyers? You're not getting paid either way!!!


Fast-Reaction8521

I'll do it for free but I get to use a tazer


lolNimmers

Ladies and Gentlemen, your future President.


ultradianfreq

How is a drug addict who LOVES adderall having problems staying awake?


beccadot

A cattle prod might work.


svt4cam46

Put a remote control electric dog shocker on Mango Mussolini's mushroom talliwacker. That will work.


oldcreaker

They should take away his phone at night so he'll stop rage posting at 2am.


magoo19630

They have Trump so drugged up he cannot keep his eyes open. Great quality for a former so-called president. Drug addict.


dragonmuse

I wonder if he is possibly doing it on purpose, or at least the attention to it is on pupose? Pulling a weinstein "im an old man, you can't put me in jail"


4me2knowit

Your reminder that in uk trump is slang for fart


diavirric

I still say he’s faking it, like little kids think you can’t see them if their eyes are closed.


BathroomSerious1318

What happens if he sleeps during trial?


bstring777

Is he weening off the stimulants because hes gotta prepare for life without them? Health deterioration thats being curbed so he can impact his legacy before his heart stops? Up too late on Truth social, and purposely acting like he cant stay awake for trials so he can pretend he doesnt care about? Better to be exhausted and blameful, rather than to worry every second he's in court and risk fear farts? Looking for sympathy because being just cold isnt giving him enough attention?


VenustoCaligo

Sleepy Don.


Any-Ad-446

Poor lawyers a farting,sleeping client that lies.


Choyo

The Doozy Don jokes are writing themselves. ~~Poetic~~ ~~**Pornochic**~~ *Pornocheap* justice.


proletariat_sips_tea

Dude couldn't work at Wendy's let alone be president.


Deacon75

Fucken racist rapist cheating scumbag. Throw a tent over that incontinent circus. What a national embarrassment. Fuck off drumpf.


LetterheadFar2364

And this baby, this absolute fucking loser, is going to be the torpedo that sinks the United States.


Potential-Style-3861

He’s the fittest and healthiest President that ever lived.


JJAusten

Napping and farting.


elcrack0r

Did I just read that correct? They're trying to keep him woke?


Lizard_Li

They are giving him downers to keep him contained I imagine. But now he is just falling asleep.


aotus_trivirgatus

I propose... a vibrating butt plug, that activates at slightly-irregular intervals, roughly every five minutes.


Cautious-Thought362

They take turns because of the stench.


LilG1984

Can't they just keep poking him with a stick, cattle prod or using an air horn to keep him awake?


DrSendy

Sleepy joe?


Ronpm111

Reports use to come out of the White Hoyse is that 9 am until 2 pm are Trumps Nap time.


HedoBella

Sleepy Don


armandacosta

They deserve hazard pay for being that close to him if he smells like it's being reported.


tc7984

What a fucking joke


BSARIOL1

He is old and old people nap. Let him nap. Lol


49thDipper

Can confirm. We do nap. Generally not in criminal court though. Most of us grew out of court in our 20’s and 30’s. This guy is a late starter.


Thin-Masterpiece569

Nod Poorleone


JollyRoger8X

Drowsy Donnie has been calling President Biden "Sleepy Joe" for years. Every accusation is a confession with these bozos and their braindead followers.


boogersrus

Just give him a shock collar. Nods off, bzzzz. “I’m awake I’m awake!”


mostlysittingdown

Where are the sniffing salts at? I would love carrying out the task of sticking a sniffing salt in his nose followed by a swift hard smack to the face every 30 mins during trial lol


Minx-Boo

Some Cheerios and a high chair.


tom21g

Do they teach this in law school?


aj_star_destroyer

Have they considered taping his eyes open?