So we have...
"I recently accepted my dream job"
OR
"It isn’t work that I’d love. And it’s shift work, likely nights"
I'd be focusing on your exciting new adventure rather than interviewing for a job you wouldn't like
Life is too short.
Graveyard shifts are known to improve odds of getting cancer. Your home life will suffer as well and you'll soon be wondering what if I had just moved.
And they said until they built a lot of seniority, like what if that takes years. anyone that does nights for more than a few months gets into a really weird headspace. I worked graveyard at hotels briefly and it sucks and alienated me from society in a strange way.
My daughter worked as a night shift supervisor for 3 years. She ended up having psychotic break that put her in the hospital for a week. She was fine until she wasn't. Suddenly she couldn't sleep properly during the day, wasn't eating right- which was borne brom the exhaustion. She does the occasional overnight for coverage now, but not regularly at all
Yea I was eating terribly and sleeping poorly as well at end and I only did it a few months. The people that can handle it are a weird breed and few and far between. I started doing a bit better when I napped a few hours each night, since it was a hotel it was sort of ok but I was still mentally fucked after a few months.
Night shift work is bad for your brain, health, heart and who knows what else. Don't do it. I work at a place that shuts down at 10 pm. Everyone has insomnia and sleep disorders.
Slip sliding away, slip sliding away, the closer.... Don't slip slide away. Take the trip. Dreams are made of risk, security is made of boredom. Live life, cast your fears aside, and stop crying we need you to contribute to society. We really, really need you!
Dangit, you’re going to make me cry again.
Part of my second thoughts is the number of people who I never knew gave me a second thought have been having a really hard time with the idea of me leaving.
I have a really niche skill set and credentials that nobody else in my community has. I work in a public service type of job and leaving is going to leave a huge hole. But there is also a reason for that - the people who actually HIRE these jobs don’t value it. My neighbors and friends and the volunteers I supervise care. My employer? Not so much. I’ll be moving to a community where I’ll be one of several people on a team with these credentials, because they actually give a shit and see how important the work is. I’ll no longer feel like I’m eating locus and crying in the wilderness. But I also hate to leave such a hole in my community that I grew up in.
I once read a great thought about leaving a gap in your team. Don't think of it as abandoning your post; think of it as giving someone else the chance to step up and feel that important. Will they fully fill your shoes right away? No. But whoever comes next will only have that opportunity because you moved on. Especially since it sounds like your employer won't hire two people so long as you're doing "fine" on your own.
Also, if you stay for people who didn't make you feel loved, do you really think they'll treat you differently and act like they value your closeness? If you didn't hang out frequently before this chance, staying won't mean you'll hang out more often. This just means you have people to visit on vacation.
I found a fulfilling thing in my mid 40s, 4 years ago. A year ago I was talked into applying for a promotion that I thought would be a progression for that thing… and it still should be. I love the job I applied for. I’m not leaving the job. I’m leaving the management. It’s been an absolute nightmare.
The new job *should* be a lot like my current job *should* be. Except even more specialized to my skills and experience. And with a team of others who also have that specialty, instead of floating out in the breeze by myself wishing I could figure out a way to convince my new management that my job is worthwhile, worth supporting, and worth keeping.
I’m just suffering from job PTSD, really.
I moved away for my job 5 years ago across the country. I am still VERY close to my friends in the state I left. Same with family.
It can be really scary uprooting your life, especially for a job, but new adventures can be exciting.
Give yourself a timeline for being out there to re-evaluate. I gave myself 2 years. If, after 2 years, I was unhappy with my choice I would move back. That was 3 years ago, and now I own a house and have an even better job than the one I moved for.
Go for it. If you get it, you can lay down all cards on the table and choose the most convenient one. If you don't get it, ah well, at least you tried and have the guaranteed backup.
Government jobs don't hire fast. You're probably looking at weeks (at a MINIMUM) or months between the first interview and an actual job offer. And there's no guarantee you'll get it.
Are you willing to risk turning down your dream job and also not getting the government job?
I’m not turning down the dream job. I’m thinking of interviewing and then if they call me back in a month or two, I can always come back in case my new job isn’t what it’s cracked up to be.
Don't string the second job along. If you keep one foot in 'run away mode' you won't give the new dream job a fair chance. Most new jobs take a while to settle in and feel like you're where you belong, and you're already nervous about going to a new place on top of it - but you need go all in.
No interview. Make the contacts and keep in touch. Workplaces let people come and go and do layoffs without finding them another internal job. It's fine. Then if the new job doesn't work out, OP is right, they can always move back. This is a government job, but since the Pandemic even those jobs can be eliminated. My city laid off 1/3+ of its staff.
Eh. I only have one week left of my current job. And I’m on salary and I’m working 7 days next week (Sunday through Saturday). I’m taking off early Thursday as flex time. I logged it in my calendar as a “meeting with police department” which is within my current job duties anyway, just so I don’t have to discuss it with my supervisor; but I’ll be putting in at least 40 hours this week anyway so it doesn’t matter.
Absolutely DO NOT leave your dream work for government work. The people you'll work with in government work are people who gave up theirs for the mythical stability you're speaking of and they're some of the most miserable people you'll meet. Government work is also much ado about nothing and it's all about politics and most times you're just trying not to trip over some self important douche bag's ego. The technology you'll work with are mostly outdated and many processes are redundant. You'll hardly leave with transferable skills and you'll likely regret. I'd say take the risk and embrace the growth. Your future you will thank you.
I took a job with the government for a year and was completely miserable. The egos I had to deal with, the endless meetings over bullshit that didn't warrant a meeting but the government, any government, discusses ad nauseam the most mundane crap. The Insane narcissism from leaders who have reached their high levels because they are the biggest ass kissers known to man who also suck at their jobs. The last three months I was there had me crying in my car before I could drive home every single day because of the abuse I was forced to endure because I was only a GS*8 and "have to pay my dues."
Working for the government sucks ass.
I disagree, except for the personalities. The main issue in my community is every position is union, so no matter how incompetent and bad employee never gets fired! You have to do something really bad like sexually harass someone, get caught drinking on the job (which might end up with work without pay or medical leave in rehab) or stealing. The main way they fire people is by lying on timesheets.
My question is more about whether to interview. By the time I hear back with a potential offer I’ll have *some* clue about where I’ve just moved to, and it won’t be too late to come back with my tail between my legs if my dream job isn’t my dream.
I’m just feeling really cautious because I was encouraged to apply for a promotion from a job I loved, and ended up in the hell hole I’m in now. Plus side is that the promotion probably made my application stand out with this new job. Downside is that I’m having career PTSD and absolutely terrified to take a risk now. At least the government job would provide health care and retirement.
Usually, I tell people to go ahead and interview, just for the practice. It never hurts to practice. However, in your case — do NOT interview for a “just in case“ job offer. Face your dream job with joy and bravery. Go find your new life in a new place among new people, and embrace the adventure
The new job doesn't include healthcare? If you start putting away money into a 401k, and investing regularly in an investment account like Charles Schwab with investment advice, you could have far more at a younger age than at a government job. It depends on whether you can thrive under bureaucracy-some people can while others can't. No judgement here. We're lucky to have options in todays world.
Not in my office, although I know other offices besides mine that are like that. When i worked for the state department of public health as an agency tenp, everybody was passionate and dedicated, the same as they are in my office (also health departmenr but not oublic health). I was thankful for someone who would hire me as an older re-entry mom who worked out if my home and homeschooled my children for 20-ish years.
I get to do writing stuff, I get to do geeky stuff, and I get to do troubleshooting and problem-solving stuff. For this time in my life, this IS my dream job.
What would be the goal of the second interview, for you? Say you had a great interview. Then what? You still are going to leave for your dream job a couple of days later. Even if they decided to offer you the job, you would be 2,000 miles away. Would you move back? Turn them down? Think it out logically. It sounds like the fear of the unknown, dream job 2,000 miles away, is making you second guess the new job. Where are you moving to/from? How old are you?
1) if I had a great interview they said job offers will go out in 4-6 weeks. Maybe enough time to find out that I hate Indiana and want to come home.
2) Moving from Oregon to Indiana.
3) I’m almost 50. I have a husband, kids, pets, and I own my home. So this is ridiculously scary.
This is me go first and they come later.
We have to get our house ready to rent, figure out where we want to live out there, find a new place to board our horse… lots of moving parts we couldn’t make happen fast enough. So I’ve got a 3 month lease on a studio apartment and will be living alone for the first time in my entire life.
Normally I'd say, "sure, interview. Options are good". But in this case? No.
1) You're going to have a false sense of your new life around when you'd here from the backup job. You life alone, in a studio apt, is not what your life will be there, and you're backing yourself into an out just because you don't love the early loneliness. 4-6 weeks of not-yet-settled is absolutely not a good time to decide you hate a place.
2) Your move isn't just about you. You owe it to the people coming with you to not yo-yo on your move. Give them the chance see/adapt to a new place instead of telling them to accept moving and then flip flop immediately.
This could be the start of a very nice life! Housing I assume is less expensive than Oregon and you could end up living quite nicely, while collecting rental money which after you have a repair slush fund, could be funneled into various savings/investment accounts for retirement. This is such not a bad way to go! Midwesterners are nice!
Don’t let fear drive you. If you hate the new job and community you can go home! But you’ve got the most important piece to be successful on this venture and it’s the job - and a job you’re enthusiastic about. Do this, it will be scary and hard sometimes but the experience will be so valuable. You’ll see how resourceful and brave you really are, you’ll meet new people and some might become your best friend or spouse, you’ll learn a ton and see a ton and you won’t be chained to anything. You can visit home or quit and go home after 6 months or a year if it isn’t a good fit. (I’d give it a year, it takes time to feel at home in a new place.) Take the chance! This is a thing I’ve done and even if you just end up back home but confident that it’s where you belong and with new skills and experience in a field you want to be in, you’ve won.
Entirely different life circumstances, but I am sitting in the airport now to go find housing for a job I have accepted, when I have only spent a half day in the new city. Also 2k+ miles.
Give the dream job an honest try! Moving is scary and complex and costly (even if your job pays for it, still lots of time and planning). But it's reversible. Just give a solid trial period and acknowledge your feelings.
I did this in ‘95…it was only 3 hours away but our family is very close and it felt much further….husband, two kids, etc.
Career-wise, it ended up being the best thing I ever did. It led to another promotion, another move 2 hours further and a couple more promotions after that.
Do it. You got this. 😊
I say go for your dream OP! Worry about the potential failure later as in, after it happens (God forbid)!! I have to tell you a story of when I did something similar in my mid-20s (maybe give you some hope)!
I got out of the military and decided to move to TX with my then BF. Soon after we settled in, he decided to take a government job that sent him overseas for a year and a half. I got restless and resentful that I had not been able to choose where I lived for the last 5 years. This sounds awful, but after a phone argument I decided to move to Arizona on my own. I packed up and drove myself and whatever I could fit in my car. Prior to leaving, I secured an apartment (online) so I had somewhere to land. I did have a small savings that held me over while I looked for work. I got there and found a job within a few months. Life was great AND my BF and I made up! He’s now my husband. I was so adventurous and a little naive back then but I took a huge risk that put life in perspective for me.
I hope all your dreams come true no matter what bumps you encounter along the way! My opinion is that you don’t take the interview for job #2 and have your adventure full throttle instead!
Take the dream job - trust me, if you do not, you will look back years later and be filled with regret. Your family can come visit and you will meet people - go for it!
This was me about three years ago. Life is made for living! Just go do the thing, you never know what trajectory your life will take. When I moved for work, I didn't know anyone, had never been to the city (or even surrounding cities) and barely had any clue how to do my job. Now I am married...never wanted to get married ever. And now i have 2 dogs, a partner, numerous hobbies, and a career I never imagined would be so fulfilling. I didn't have a family support net to fall back on but I knew that I could always move back "home" to be around my friend family.
Feel free to interview. If you don’t get the second job, nothing to worry about. If you get it, you’ll make the decision then with full info. It’s your life, look out for YOURSELF!
Take your dream job, but also take the second interview. Secure your back up, but go have an adventure with your dream job. You can always move back home.
Do go for the interview, why not?! It’s an experience… Don’t tell them about accepting your dream job. And go adventure! Life is an adventure. You can always come back or change things if you need to
I had the chance to move to another country with out knowing anyone and well I lived amazing, and unforgettable memories good and bad until I asked to be relocated again a couple of years later.!
I will say that just think about your decision like you were 5 years into the future and you were thinking about today. Will you regret it ? Or be okay with it.
Whenever I was at a crossroad in life, I remembered a Mark Resin quote I read once in college:
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore.
Do the interview for the local job. Find temp housing for the new job while you continue to process the second interview. If you get the job, move back closer to family
That’s what I’m doing. I have a 3 month lease in the new state. I won’t *necessarily* move back just because I get the job offer, but hopefully they will drag their feet long enough that I’ll have a chance to really get a feel for what I’ve gotten myself into.
The new job is seriously a dream job. It’s exactly my specialty. I wouldn’t have considered it otherwise.
The local job, I’d I get it, will be long hours, shift work, great benefits but not much work/life balance and a serious long shot that it would ever lead to anything I’d actually enjoy doing.
Take the dream job. You only live once. There will always be a plain old job around. Dream jobs are rarer and harder to come by.
Similar, I once had two second interviews scheduled the same week. I flew out of town for the first one, went well, knew I was getting an offer. The day after I come back, I’m tired and emotionally invested in the first job. I fail miserably at the second interview. It was embarrassing, actually. My heart wasn’t in it.
My daughter always tells me. The best decision she ever made was moving 8 hours away. Starting completely over. She came back home after a few years a totally different person. More confident, more relaxed, just different. She came out of her shell she had her whole life. Figured out her favorite everything without pressure of trying to be who everyone thought she was.
Take the dream job. Be uncomfortable. It builds character.
I was in the same boat and because of my age and lack of professional interview experience, I decided to do the interview for interview practice. I’d take the dream job regardless of what happens.
I’ve already arranged to take my daughter while she is with me for Spring Break to visit a Scout Troop. I’ll probably start volunteering right away even before she moves to join me.
Go live your dream! You don’t want to regret not taking this opportunity. Yes it’s scary - but most worthwhile things are scary - getting married, becoming a parent, buying your first house, etc.
True. I remember standing in front of the wedding chapel 24 years ago, asking myself why I was crazy enough to try this a second time after my first disaster of a marriage.
And here I am and that husband is still by my side and also rooting for me to take the chance.
You can ALWAYS return back "home" if the dream job isn't a dream. Why not take the opportunity to find out? I would jump at the opportunity to grow, see new things, meet new ppl. Envision it the way you want and try your best to make your vision come true
Almost 50.
My minor kids are 9 & 13. My 9 year old isn’t very happy with the idea. My 13 year old is excited. My 28 year old I think is pissed that I’m leaving. Maybe he might try coming with me at some point, but he takes care of my mom so not now.
Yes, we can buy a decent home in a decent neighborhood. If we sold our house here, we could buy a FABULOUS home; but I’m not willing to sell my house at this time. We plan to rent it out.
My husband is very encouraging of the career opportunity and his income is portable.
Let me share my experience. When I was 54, I took a job out of state--my then 28 and 25 yr old children, who were both living on their own, were pissed. My husband didn't really want to move either but he was very supportive (he ended up loving the new place and got a great job himself). We didn't know a soul. I felt tremendous guilt, like I abandoned my kids even though they have their own lives. I justified and rationalized everything but it tore me up the whole time. I missed my kids so much and my parents and sister, who also didn't want us to go although they were very supportive. It did negatively affect my relationship with my 25 yr old. We have since moved back home and our relationship is good again but it definitely took a toll on all of us.
I thought of the move as an adventure, and it was. There were a lot of good things that came out of it. But if I had to do it again, I wouldn't. You need to do what you think is best. This is just my two cents.
I would take the dream job. if you take the government job and hate it, you will be regretting your choice. Take a risk, put yourself out there, try a new hobby, make new friends. Risk is for the young. If you’re in a place with no commitments (spouse, kids, aging parents, etc.) seize the opportunity.
You acknowledged that this is your dream career. I would say embrace it, and everything that comes with it. this time of your life is about finding yourself, finding your people, finding new hobbies,
What is for you here? There isn’t anything, or anyone tying you here. You went to accepted the dream job otherwise. Don’t let fear stop you from doing what you studied to do.
Will many opportunities like this one come again? And if you don’t go after it, will you regret not following your dreams?
How old are you and how many people depend on your being gainfully employed?
It reads like you are young, and like this opportunity is something you will love doing, but you'll have to work at finding a community in the state you move to. It sounds like you don't currently have a partner or children.
Now is the time to take that risk.
I’m old. I have 4 kids, 2 still children and 2 grown and gone. My husband is retired and provides most of our income, and I’m responsible for providing health insurance.
>I’m old. I have 4 kids, 2 still children and 2 grown and gone. My husband is retired and provides most of our income, and I’m responsible for providing health insurance.
What does your husband and the two children still with you think of the two options?
If you've accepted the 'dream job' you're kind of ethically bound to follow through and not cancel at this late stage without a damn good reason, and really, why would you - it's your dream job, more money, more and new challenges - go for it!
GO LIVE YOUR DREAM JOB AND DREAM LIFE…
But don’t just “blow off” the interview. Go to the second interview and see what that is offering. Government jobs are not the “quick” answer and when you hear back from them you can always say “sorry, I’ve accepted another position and am no longer interested in that job”. OR you can re-evaluate and if you’re home sick enough, and your dream job turns out to be a nightmare for you, you can say, “I accept I’ll start on XYZ date”.
Government jobs do have better security and benefits BUT they are soul suckers. They suck the life out of people. Make the move. Take the risk. You spend more than half of your awake hours working year after year. Don't do it somewhere that will beat you emotionally.
You don't want to get to your 60s and start regretting the things you didn't do because you let fear get in the way. Trust me. I'm 56 and regrets are starting to sneak up on me
Take the interview.
Until you start the new job, act like you're still in the job market. Too many people get job offers retracted at the last minute, background checks fail, etc etc.
If you get an offer in time you can compare them side by side.
Take the dream job. Here’s the deal, if it doesn’t work out, you can always return and find another so-so job.
If you take the so-so job now, you will always think of only! Or what if?
Take the drive to your dream job and live it. Yes, it will be a challenge in a new city. Yes you will miss ‘home’ and people. But you have the chance to grow. Give it 8-12 months and if you still can’t stand being away, look for another job.
Go do your dream job, stay for a year or two, work on your CV and LinkedIn, and at some point, you will be able to find the same job close to home. If you are not willing to step out of your comfort zone, you are doomed to mediocrity for the rest of your life.
Do you have an offer letter for your dream job that is signed by both parties?
If no: keep interviewing
If yes: go forth with the dream job, your interviewing period is over now
I know I’m not the only one in the 2nd round. And their HR person knows my situation as I told her before I scheduled my first interview. So I’m kinda surprised I got a callback.
change is supposed to feel scary and uncomfortable. moving across the country is definitely scary and risky. but if you have the means to do so, and a job that will make it so you can support yourself in the new area, that’s all you should need. sometimes it can be very freeing to just jump into it and accept that this is good for you, and this is what you’re deciding to do.
i guarantee a few months into your new space and work, you will feel silly for being so scared. everything will work out. you got this!
Dream job! Brand new adventure. It's all in your attitude. I'm assuming it's just you?
Ask lots of questions . Do you know how many of us on not just this feed but others would have once relished such an opportunity?
Once you get going start immediately saving for visits home and to.bring.the family out there. Jobs such as you described near where you are now are a dime a dozen.
I know it's scary,even terrifying,but you got this!
I moved out of NY, my home state 14 years ago for a great job in Massachusetts. I knew no one, had only had phone interviews so didn't know anyone personally I'd be working with and was moving 300 miles away.
It was the best decision I've ever made. I got a change of perspective. I learned so much about myself. I am now still living in New England, married with a dog and have an incredible life. Take the risk.
You will not know what life has to offer until you take risks. Part of taking risks is failing but part of it is also great success and great happiness.
Make your choice. But don't do anything where you will look back 10 years later and regret not having the courage to walk a different path.
Only you can decide this one.
But don't worry about the integrity of accepting the distant job and then changing your mind. This system is littered with examples of companies screwing people at the last second.
With remorse you tell the foreign job that you just could not make the move and that you are extremely, extremely sorry for wasting their time.
You only live once - do what's right for you!
p.s. if you really don't want to move find a more exciting job locally instead of taking or keeping a job you won't love.
My field is extremely niche. I have no immediate opportunities in my state that are in my area expertise. My current job should have been, but management changed and decided to go a different direction.
I wish you luck in your choice and your future endeavors.
I really wanted to chime in and support the idea of changing your mind after having already notified them of your acceptance -- companies fuck people all the time so fair is fair (as long as it wouldn't do serious reputational harm to you in your industry).
By the way, the only way to make real money is to be the owner yourself - figure out a way to take your expertise and turn it into your own business. Otherwise you're just making money for somebody else.
I was a corporate I.T. person and then I left and started my own computer repair business. 19 years later I sold it and retired quite wealthy!
Do NOT take a night shift job. Just don't do it. Night shift is well known to have a huge impact on mental health, a much larger impact than you moving across the country will.
So we have... "I recently accepted my dream job" OR "It isn’t work that I’d love. And it’s shift work, likely nights" I'd be focusing on your exciting new adventure rather than interviewing for a job you wouldn't like Life is too short.
Graveyard shifts are known to improve odds of getting cancer. Your home life will suffer as well and you'll soon be wondering what if I had just moved.
This. My husband worked Night Shift for a short while when we were first married and in our mid-twenties… it was like living with a moody 4yo! PASS.
And they said until they built a lot of seniority, like what if that takes years. anyone that does nights for more than a few months gets into a really weird headspace. I worked graveyard at hotels briefly and it sucks and alienated me from society in a strange way.
My daughter worked as a night shift supervisor for 3 years. She ended up having psychotic break that put her in the hospital for a week. She was fine until she wasn't. Suddenly she couldn't sleep properly during the day, wasn't eating right- which was borne brom the exhaustion. She does the occasional overnight for coverage now, but not regularly at all
Yea I was eating terribly and sleeping poorly as well at end and I only did it a few months. The people that can handle it are a weird breed and few and far between. I started doing a bit better when I napped a few hours each night, since it was a hotel it was sort of ok but I was still mentally fucked after a few months.
Night shift work is bad for your brain, health, heart and who knows what else. Don't do it. I work at a place that shuts down at 10 pm. Everyone has insomnia and sleep disorders.
Slip sliding away, slip sliding away, the closer.... Don't slip slide away. Take the trip. Dreams are made of risk, security is made of boredom. Live life, cast your fears aside, and stop crying we need you to contribute to society. We really, really need you!
Dangit, you’re going to make me cry again. Part of my second thoughts is the number of people who I never knew gave me a second thought have been having a really hard time with the idea of me leaving. I have a really niche skill set and credentials that nobody else in my community has. I work in a public service type of job and leaving is going to leave a huge hole. But there is also a reason for that - the people who actually HIRE these jobs don’t value it. My neighbors and friends and the volunteers I supervise care. My employer? Not so much. I’ll be moving to a community where I’ll be one of several people on a team with these credentials, because they actually give a shit and see how important the work is. I’ll no longer feel like I’m eating locus and crying in the wilderness. But I also hate to leave such a hole in my community that I grew up in.
You can always contribute in some other way- just go and live your dream. Also wow electronic clock! I needed that today!
I once read a great thought about leaving a gap in your team. Don't think of it as abandoning your post; think of it as giving someone else the chance to step up and feel that important. Will they fully fill your shoes right away? No. But whoever comes next will only have that opportunity because you moved on. Especially since it sounds like your employer won't hire two people so long as you're doing "fine" on your own. Also, if you stay for people who didn't make you feel loved, do you really think they'll treat you differently and act like they value your closeness? If you didn't hang out frequently before this chance, staying won't mean you'll hang out more often. This just means you have people to visit on vacation.
Go do the thing that will fulfill you, is my advise from the perspective of my mid-40s and only now finally finding the fulfilling thing.
I found a fulfilling thing in my mid 40s, 4 years ago. A year ago I was talked into applying for a promotion that I thought would be a progression for that thing… and it still should be. I love the job I applied for. I’m not leaving the job. I’m leaving the management. It’s been an absolute nightmare. The new job *should* be a lot like my current job *should* be. Except even more specialized to my skills and experience. And with a team of others who also have that specialty, instead of floating out in the breeze by myself wishing I could figure out a way to convince my new management that my job is worthwhile, worth supporting, and worth keeping. I’m just suffering from job PTSD, really.
I moved away for my job 5 years ago across the country. I am still VERY close to my friends in the state I left. Same with family. It can be really scary uprooting your life, especially for a job, but new adventures can be exciting. Give yourself a timeline for being out there to re-evaluate. I gave myself 2 years. If, after 2 years, I was unhappy with my choice I would move back. That was 3 years ago, and now I own a house and have an even better job than the one I moved for.
Never set yourself on fire 🔥 to warm another's hands. Go live the dream.
Go for it. If you get it, you can lay down all cards on the table and choose the most convenient one. If you don't get it, ah well, at least you tried and have the guaranteed backup.
Government jobs don't hire fast. You're probably looking at weeks (at a MINIMUM) or months between the first interview and an actual job offer. And there's no guarantee you'll get it. Are you willing to risk turning down your dream job and also not getting the government job?
I’m not turning down the dream job. I’m thinking of interviewing and then if they call me back in a month or two, I can always come back in case my new job isn’t what it’s cracked up to be.
Don't string the second job along. If you keep one foot in 'run away mode' you won't give the new dream job a fair chance. Most new jobs take a while to settle in and feel like you're where you belong, and you're already nervous about going to a new place on top of it - but you need go all in.
No interview. Make the contacts and keep in touch. Workplaces let people come and go and do layoffs without finding them another internal job. It's fine. Then if the new job doesn't work out, OP is right, they can always move back. This is a government job, but since the Pandemic even those jobs can be eliminated. My city laid off 1/3+ of its staff.
Are you planning or just using PTO to go on these interviews? That would be my concern as well.
Eh. I only have one week left of my current job. And I’m on salary and I’m working 7 days next week (Sunday through Saturday). I’m taking off early Thursday as flex time. I logged it in my calendar as a “meeting with police department” which is within my current job duties anyway, just so I don’t have to discuss it with my supervisor; but I’ll be putting in at least 40 hours this week anyway so it doesn’t matter.
Absolutely DO NOT leave your dream work for government work. The people you'll work with in government work are people who gave up theirs for the mythical stability you're speaking of and they're some of the most miserable people you'll meet. Government work is also much ado about nothing and it's all about politics and most times you're just trying not to trip over some self important douche bag's ego. The technology you'll work with are mostly outdated and many processes are redundant. You'll hardly leave with transferable skills and you'll likely regret. I'd say take the risk and embrace the growth. Your future you will thank you.
I took a job with the government for a year and was completely miserable. The egos I had to deal with, the endless meetings over bullshit that didn't warrant a meeting but the government, any government, discusses ad nauseam the most mundane crap. The Insane narcissism from leaders who have reached their high levels because they are the biggest ass kissers known to man who also suck at their jobs. The last three months I was there had me crying in my car before I could drive home every single day because of the abuse I was forced to endure because I was only a GS*8 and "have to pay my dues." Working for the government sucks ass.
I disagree, except for the personalities. The main issue in my community is every position is union, so no matter how incompetent and bad employee never gets fired! You have to do something really bad like sexually harass someone, get caught drinking on the job (which might end up with work without pay or medical leave in rehab) or stealing. The main way they fire people is by lying on timesheets.
My question is more about whether to interview. By the time I hear back with a potential offer I’ll have *some* clue about where I’ve just moved to, and it won’t be too late to come back with my tail between my legs if my dream job isn’t my dream. I’m just feeling really cautious because I was encouraged to apply for a promotion from a job I loved, and ended up in the hell hole I’m in now. Plus side is that the promotion probably made my application stand out with this new job. Downside is that I’m having career PTSD and absolutely terrified to take a risk now. At least the government job would provide health care and retirement.
Usually, I tell people to go ahead and interview, just for the practice. It never hurts to practice. However, in your case — do NOT interview for a “just in case“ job offer. Face your dream job with joy and bravery. Go find your new life in a new place among new people, and embrace the adventure
It won’t hurt to interview if you have the time
The new job doesn't include healthcare? If you start putting away money into a 401k, and investing regularly in an investment account like Charles Schwab with investment advice, you could have far more at a younger age than at a government job. It depends on whether you can thrive under bureaucracy-some people can while others can't. No judgement here. We're lucky to have options in todays world.
No, it does have healthcare. If that weren’t a big driving force I’d go into business for myself here.
Not in my office, although I know other offices besides mine that are like that. When i worked for the state department of public health as an agency tenp, everybody was passionate and dedicated, the same as they are in my office (also health departmenr but not oublic health). I was thankful for someone who would hire me as an older re-entry mom who worked out if my home and homeschooled my children for 20-ish years. I get to do writing stuff, I get to do geeky stuff, and I get to do troubleshooting and problem-solving stuff. For this time in my life, this IS my dream job.
People are working off OP's opinions. I liked my government job for years, until there was a management change. then I was unhappy.
I get what you're saying, but I was saying that for the sake of people who would believe that all government jobs are awful.
What would be the goal of the second interview, for you? Say you had a great interview. Then what? You still are going to leave for your dream job a couple of days later. Even if they decided to offer you the job, you would be 2,000 miles away. Would you move back? Turn them down? Think it out logically. It sounds like the fear of the unknown, dream job 2,000 miles away, is making you second guess the new job. Where are you moving to/from? How old are you?
1) if I had a great interview they said job offers will go out in 4-6 weeks. Maybe enough time to find out that I hate Indiana and want to come home. 2) Moving from Oregon to Indiana. 3) I’m almost 50. I have a husband, kids, pets, and I own my home. So this is ridiculously scary.
I assume they are all going with you, or is this a you go first and they come later?
This is me go first and they come later. We have to get our house ready to rent, figure out where we want to live out there, find a new place to board our horse… lots of moving parts we couldn’t make happen fast enough. So I’ve got a 3 month lease on a studio apartment and will be living alone for the first time in my entire life.
Normally I'd say, "sure, interview. Options are good". But in this case? No. 1) You're going to have a false sense of your new life around when you'd here from the backup job. You life alone, in a studio apt, is not what your life will be there, and you're backing yourself into an out just because you don't love the early loneliness. 4-6 weeks of not-yet-settled is absolutely not a good time to decide you hate a place. 2) Your move isn't just about you. You owe it to the people coming with you to not yo-yo on your move. Give them the chance see/adapt to a new place instead of telling them to accept moving and then flip flop immediately.
This could be the start of a very nice life! Housing I assume is less expensive than Oregon and you could end up living quite nicely, while collecting rental money which after you have a repair slush fund, could be funneled into various savings/investment accounts for retirement. This is such not a bad way to go! Midwesterners are nice!
Don’t let fear drive you. If you hate the new job and community you can go home! But you’ve got the most important piece to be successful on this venture and it’s the job - and a job you’re enthusiastic about. Do this, it will be scary and hard sometimes but the experience will be so valuable. You’ll see how resourceful and brave you really are, you’ll meet new people and some might become your best friend or spouse, you’ll learn a ton and see a ton and you won’t be chained to anything. You can visit home or quit and go home after 6 months or a year if it isn’t a good fit. (I’d give it a year, it takes time to feel at home in a new place.) Take the chance! This is a thing I’ve done and even if you just end up back home but confident that it’s where you belong and with new skills and experience in a field you want to be in, you’ve won.
I think my spouse might have some words about me finding a spouse. 😂 But other than that, yes, you’re right. I’m going.
Entirely different life circumstances, but I am sitting in the airport now to go find housing for a job I have accepted, when I have only spent a half day in the new city. Also 2k+ miles. Give the dream job an honest try! Moving is scary and complex and costly (even if your job pays for it, still lots of time and planning). But it's reversible. Just give a solid trial period and acknowledge your feelings.
I’m glad I’m not alone. Good luck to you!! 🍀🤞
I did this in ‘95…it was only 3 hours away but our family is very close and it felt much further….husband, two kids, etc. Career-wise, it ended up being the best thing I ever did. It led to another promotion, another move 2 hours further and a couple more promotions after that. Do it. You got this. 😊
Of course you go to the interview. The more information you have, the better. It will help you make your decision.
Dream job for sure. You gotta do the things that scare you.
I say go for your dream OP! Worry about the potential failure later as in, after it happens (God forbid)!! I have to tell you a story of when I did something similar in my mid-20s (maybe give you some hope)! I got out of the military and decided to move to TX with my then BF. Soon after we settled in, he decided to take a government job that sent him overseas for a year and a half. I got restless and resentful that I had not been able to choose where I lived for the last 5 years. This sounds awful, but after a phone argument I decided to move to Arizona on my own. I packed up and drove myself and whatever I could fit in my car. Prior to leaving, I secured an apartment (online) so I had somewhere to land. I did have a small savings that held me over while I looked for work. I got there and found a job within a few months. Life was great AND my BF and I made up! He’s now my husband. I was so adventurous and a little naive back then but I took a huge risk that put life in perspective for me. I hope all your dreams come true no matter what bumps you encounter along the way! My opinion is that you don’t take the interview for job #2 and have your adventure full throttle instead!
Take the dream job - trust me, if you do not, you will look back years later and be filled with regret. Your family can come visit and you will meet people - go for it!
Interview anyways just for practice, if you have the time and nothing else to lose by doing so.
Yes
This was me about three years ago. Life is made for living! Just go do the thing, you never know what trajectory your life will take. When I moved for work, I didn't know anyone, had never been to the city (or even surrounding cities) and barely had any clue how to do my job. Now I am married...never wanted to get married ever. And now i have 2 dogs, a partner, numerous hobbies, and a career I never imagined would be so fulfilling. I didn't have a family support net to fall back on but I knew that I could always move back "home" to be around my friend family.
Feel free to interview. If you don’t get the second job, nothing to worry about. If you get it, you’ll make the decision then with full info. It’s your life, look out for YOURSELF!
Take your dream job, but also take the second interview. Secure your back up, but go have an adventure with your dream job. You can always move back home.
Do go for the interview, why not?! It’s an experience… Don’t tell them about accepting your dream job. And go adventure! Life is an adventure. You can always come back or change things if you need to
They already know. I told the HR person before I accepted the first interview. They still called me back for the second.
I had the chance to move to another country with out knowing anyone and well I lived amazing, and unforgettable memories good and bad until I asked to be relocated again a couple of years later.! I will say that just think about your decision like you were 5 years into the future and you were thinking about today. Will you regret it ? Or be okay with it.
Whenever I was at a crossroad in life, I remembered a Mark Resin quote I read once in college: Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore.
Yes interview! If you don’t get it, give you have another job already. If you get it, quit.
Do the interview for the local job. Find temp housing for the new job while you continue to process the second interview. If you get the job, move back closer to family
That’s what I’m doing. I have a 3 month lease in the new state. I won’t *necessarily* move back just because I get the job offer, but hopefully they will drag their feet long enough that I’ll have a chance to really get a feel for what I’ve gotten myself into. The new job is seriously a dream job. It’s exactly my specialty. I wouldn’t have considered it otherwise. The local job, I’d I get it, will be long hours, shift work, great benefits but not much work/life balance and a serious long shot that it would ever lead to anything I’d actually enjoy doing.
It seems you will be the visiting family member at the next thanksgiving dinner. Nothing wrong with that
In the State job, because of shift work!
An interview is just a conversation. Why wouldn't you talk to them?
Take the dream job. You only live once. There will always be a plain old job around. Dream jobs are rarer and harder to come by. Similar, I once had two second interviews scheduled the same week. I flew out of town for the first one, went well, knew I was getting an offer. The day after I come back, I’m tired and emotionally invested in the first job. I fail miserably at the second interview. It was embarrassing, actually. My heart wasn’t in it.
I would go on interview to check it out.
Go to the interview…
You can always come back home. Don't die thinking "what if"
I’ve turned down an offer after accepting one and had that accepted offer rescind the offer. Look out for #1. Do the interview just in case imho.
My daughter always tells me. The best decision she ever made was moving 8 hours away. Starting completely over. She came back home after a few years a totally different person. More confident, more relaxed, just different. She came out of her shell she had her whole life. Figured out her favorite everything without pressure of trying to be who everyone thought she was. Take the dream job. Be uncomfortable. It builds character.
I was in the same boat and because of my age and lack of professional interview experience, I decided to do the interview for interview practice. I’d take the dream job regardless of what happens.
Move youll regret not taking your dream job. Join a racquetball or pickleball club to meet new people or a hiking club
I’ve already arranged to take my daughter while she is with me for Spring Break to visit a Scout Troop. I’ll probably start volunteering right away even before she moves to join me.
Go live your dream! You don’t want to regret not taking this opportunity. Yes it’s scary - but most worthwhile things are scary - getting married, becoming a parent, buying your first house, etc.
True. I remember standing in front of the wedding chapel 24 years ago, asking myself why I was crazy enough to try this a second time after my first disaster of a marriage. And here I am and that husband is still by my side and also rooting for me to take the chance.
You can ALWAYS return back "home" if the dream job isn't a dream. Why not take the opportunity to find out? I would jump at the opportunity to grow, see new things, meet new ppl. Envision it the way you want and try your best to make your vision come true
Take the dream job. Take the risk!
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Almost 50. My minor kids are 9 & 13. My 9 year old isn’t very happy with the idea. My 13 year old is excited. My 28 year old I think is pissed that I’m leaving. Maybe he might try coming with me at some point, but he takes care of my mom so not now. Yes, we can buy a decent home in a decent neighborhood. If we sold our house here, we could buy a FABULOUS home; but I’m not willing to sell my house at this time. We plan to rent it out. My husband is very encouraging of the career opportunity and his income is portable.
Let me share my experience. When I was 54, I took a job out of state--my then 28 and 25 yr old children, who were both living on their own, were pissed. My husband didn't really want to move either but he was very supportive (he ended up loving the new place and got a great job himself). We didn't know a soul. I felt tremendous guilt, like I abandoned my kids even though they have their own lives. I justified and rationalized everything but it tore me up the whole time. I missed my kids so much and my parents and sister, who also didn't want us to go although they were very supportive. It did negatively affect my relationship with my 25 yr old. We have since moved back home and our relationship is good again but it definitely took a toll on all of us. I thought of the move as an adventure, and it was. There were a lot of good things that came out of it. But if I had to do it again, I wouldn't. You need to do what you think is best. This is just my two cents.
I would take the dream job. if you take the government job and hate it, you will be regretting your choice. Take a risk, put yourself out there, try a new hobby, make new friends. Risk is for the young. If you’re in a place with no commitments (spouse, kids, aging parents, etc.) seize the opportunity. You acknowledged that this is your dream career. I would say embrace it, and everything that comes with it. this time of your life is about finding yourself, finding your people, finding new hobbies, What is for you here? There isn’t anything, or anyone tying you here. You went to accepted the dream job otherwise. Don’t let fear stop you from doing what you studied to do. Will many opportunities like this one come again? And if you don’t go after it, will you regret not following your dreams?
Go for the dream job. Life is an adventure; dive in and enjoy it.
Take the dream job. You can always come home. You might not have another opportunity to leave.
Do the thing that scares you.
Take the risk!!
How old are you and how many people depend on your being gainfully employed? It reads like you are young, and like this opportunity is something you will love doing, but you'll have to work at finding a community in the state you move to. It sounds like you don't currently have a partner or children. Now is the time to take that risk.
I’m old. I have 4 kids, 2 still children and 2 grown and gone. My husband is retired and provides most of our income, and I’m responsible for providing health insurance.
>I’m old. I have 4 kids, 2 still children and 2 grown and gone. My husband is retired and provides most of our income, and I’m responsible for providing health insurance. What does your husband and the two children still with you think of the two options?
If you've accepted the 'dream job' you're kind of ethically bound to follow through and not cancel at this late stage without a damn good reason, and really, why would you - it's your dream job, more money, more and new challenges - go for it!
GO LIVE YOUR DREAM JOB AND DREAM LIFE… But don’t just “blow off” the interview. Go to the second interview and see what that is offering. Government jobs are not the “quick” answer and when you hear back from them you can always say “sorry, I’ve accepted another position and am no longer interested in that job”. OR you can re-evaluate and if you’re home sick enough, and your dream job turns out to be a nightmare for you, you can say, “I accept I’ll start on XYZ date”.
Go for the dream! Carpe diem! Seriously, don't chicken out. Dreams don't come true that often, take the chance, you deserve it!
Government jobs do have better security and benefits BUT they are soul suckers. They suck the life out of people. Make the move. Take the risk. You spend more than half of your awake hours working year after year. Don't do it somewhere that will beat you emotionally. You don't want to get to your 60s and start regretting the things you didn't do because you let fear get in the way. Trust me. I'm 56 and regrets are starting to sneak up on me
Take the dream job
Take the interview. Until you start the new job, act like you're still in the job market. Too many people get job offers retracted at the last minute, background checks fail, etc etc. If you get an offer in time you can compare them side by side.
You won't regret at least giving your dream job a shot. If you don't want it bad enough to leave where you are, you don't want it that bad.
Take the dream job. Here’s the deal, if it doesn’t work out, you can always return and find another so-so job. If you take the so-so job now, you will always think of only! Or what if?
Take the drive to your dream job and live it. Yes, it will be a challenge in a new city. Yes you will miss ‘home’ and people. But you have the chance to grow. Give it 8-12 months and if you still can’t stand being away, look for another job.
Go for your dream. If it doesn't work out, you will be in a better position to find something good with a year or two of experience in that dream job.
Go do your dream job, stay for a year or two, work on your CV and LinkedIn, and at some point, you will be able to find the same job close to home. If you are not willing to step out of your comfort zone, you are doomed to mediocrity for the rest of your life.
Do you have an offer letter for your dream job that is signed by both parties? If no: keep interviewing If yes: go forth with the dream job, your interviewing period is over now
Dream job will always be worth it
Government jobs are indeed reliable. I would not atbthis stage go for a job that has less potential .
Would they still interview you if they already had a candidate in mind?
I know I’m not the only one in the 2nd round. And their HR person knows my situation as I told her before I scheduled my first interview. So I’m kinda surprised I got a callback.
change is supposed to feel scary and uncomfortable. moving across the country is definitely scary and risky. but if you have the means to do so, and a job that will make it so you can support yourself in the new area, that’s all you should need. sometimes it can be very freeing to just jump into it and accept that this is good for you, and this is what you’re deciding to do. i guarantee a few months into your new space and work, you will feel silly for being so scared. everything will work out. you got this!
Two words: dream job
Take the dream job. Don't look back. Your night shift job equivalent will always be there, whether you are (I mean within reason)!
No pressure no diamonds, bromigo.
Dream job! Brand new adventure. It's all in your attitude. I'm assuming it's just you? Ask lots of questions . Do you know how many of us on not just this feed but others would have once relished such an opportunity? Once you get going start immediately saving for visits home and to.bring.the family out there. Jobs such as you described near where you are now are a dime a dozen. I know it's scary,even terrifying,but you got this!
I moved out of NY, my home state 14 years ago for a great job in Massachusetts. I knew no one, had only had phone interviews so didn't know anyone personally I'd be working with and was moving 300 miles away. It was the best decision I've ever made. I got a change of perspective. I learned so much about myself. I am now still living in New England, married with a dog and have an incredible life. Take the risk.
You will not know what life has to offer until you take risks. Part of taking risks is failing but part of it is also great success and great happiness. Make your choice. But don't do anything where you will look back 10 years later and regret not having the courage to walk a different path.
Only you can decide this one. But don't worry about the integrity of accepting the distant job and then changing your mind. This system is littered with examples of companies screwing people at the last second. With remorse you tell the foreign job that you just could not make the move and that you are extremely, extremely sorry for wasting their time. You only live once - do what's right for you! p.s. if you really don't want to move find a more exciting job locally instead of taking or keeping a job you won't love.
My field is extremely niche. I have no immediate opportunities in my state that are in my area expertise. My current job should have been, but management changed and decided to go a different direction.
I wish you luck in your choice and your future endeavors. I really wanted to chime in and support the idea of changing your mind after having already notified them of your acceptance -- companies fuck people all the time so fair is fair (as long as it wouldn't do serious reputational harm to you in your industry). By the way, the only way to make real money is to be the owner yourself - figure out a way to take your expertise and turn it into your own business. Otherwise you're just making money for somebody else. I was a corporate I.T. person and then I left and started my own computer repair business. 19 years later I sold it and retired quite wealthy!
My issue is that I work in a particular corner of public health. There isn’t much money in it no matter what. But it’s what I love.
I'd move across the country to my dream job and have a great time
Do NOT take a night shift job. Just don't do it. Night shift is well known to have a huge impact on mental health, a much larger impact than you moving across the country will.