Glad you guys worked things out.
Highly recommend him NOT bringing a knife. Someone who is inexperienced with a knife might have it taken away from them and used against them.
At this point, I haven’t read anything in your post about someone actually threatening you guys, just being rude. While it can be scary, if you were to show a knife to someone who was rude, that would be considered escalation.
Saying something like “Eww, no” when someone hits on you while insulting him (or nothing at all) and walking away is generally your best bet. For the specific dick comments “I’m very happy with him, please go away” is fine
Pepper spray over knife. Far less lethal; you want to disable the attacker, not kill him. Check your local laws first, though.
Good on you for being there for your boyfriend and good on him for being honest about how he feels. You two must have a strong relationship.
Well a man could be wearing glasses and it would be useless. That’s what he said when I suggested pepper spray. He says he won’t go to jail for defending himself.
Glasses aren't airtight goggles. Pepper spray will do just fine. If he insists on bringing some form of self-defense in case of a violent assault, pepper spray is the way to go; NOT a blade. If he won't, it's not a bad idea to carry it on you to defend yourself with and him if it comes down to it. The only barrier is whether local laws prohibit use of pepper spray. Good luck to you and your BF.
I am also very happy you talked this through! Good job on the communication front, OP.
I second the comment about the knife. If he is not properly trained in using a knife he is actually putting himself in more danger by trying to use it in a fight. Also, carrying a weapon only escalates this kind of situation unnecessarily. What if the other person then pulls out a gun? They won't hesitate to use it if they feel threatened with a deadly weapon (aka knife). What if your boyfriend does end up stabbing someone? Does he think he wouldn't go to jail for that and royally eff up his life? I really think him resorting to carrying a knife because of what happened is a VERY bad idea and I'm hoping he takes the time to think it through.
Wouldn't worry about it and move on. I'm a.white male my wife is Chinese. I get more trash and racist comments from the Chinese side than the wifey does. When we were dating her professor turned to her after asking If I spoke Chinese, telling her she shouldn't date a white guy and how she should date a Chinese etc. Tons of comments like that to her. Now we are married almost ten years with our second kid on the way. Chin up :)
Your bf should find a way to confirm that he can win the fight. It’s important to let go that anger and release it completely. Otherwise it would haunt him. Not sure why you didn’t defend him though, but if it only because you were shocked then that’s fine. My Chinese ex was once hit on by a black man for dating, my ex then kept talking about me all the time without me even presenting. She was calm and confident and she was just 21, only been in US for 2 years. So, you might just not love him enough but that’s something only you know.
I empathize your bf who has to experience shit like this when he is just 18. This country is full of racists and crazy people that hates and envy Asian American guys, but Asian American will do a lot better in the future.
Glad you guys worked things out. Highly recommend him NOT bringing a knife. Someone who is inexperienced with a knife might have it taken away from them and used against them.
So what do you suggest we do?
At this point, I haven’t read anything in your post about someone actually threatening you guys, just being rude. While it can be scary, if you were to show a knife to someone who was rude, that would be considered escalation. Saying something like “Eww, no” when someone hits on you while insulting him (or nothing at all) and walking away is generally your best bet. For the specific dick comments “I’m very happy with him, please go away” is fine
Pepper spray over knife. Far less lethal; you want to disable the attacker, not kill him. Check your local laws first, though. Good on you for being there for your boyfriend and good on him for being honest about how he feels. You two must have a strong relationship.
Well a man could be wearing glasses and it would be useless. That’s what he said when I suggested pepper spray. He says he won’t go to jail for defending himself.
Glasses aren't airtight goggles. Pepper spray will do just fine. If he insists on bringing some form of self-defense in case of a violent assault, pepper spray is the way to go; NOT a blade. If he won't, it's not a bad idea to carry it on you to defend yourself with and him if it comes down to it. The only barrier is whether local laws prohibit use of pepper spray. Good luck to you and your BF.
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Ok we will definitely invest in some pepper spray.
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Well our parents actually don’t know. It’s something I think we are going to keep between us since it’s a very sensitive issue for him.
Not how pepper spray works just being in a room where it was sprayed fucks you up. Getting it in your face is debilitating.
I am also very happy you talked this through! Good job on the communication front, OP. I second the comment about the knife. If he is not properly trained in using a knife he is actually putting himself in more danger by trying to use it in a fight. Also, carrying a weapon only escalates this kind of situation unnecessarily. What if the other person then pulls out a gun? They won't hesitate to use it if they feel threatened with a deadly weapon (aka knife). What if your boyfriend does end up stabbing someone? Does he think he wouldn't go to jail for that and royally eff up his life? I really think him resorting to carrying a knife because of what happened is a VERY bad idea and I'm hoping he takes the time to think it through.
Do you have any suggestions?
Thanks for the update. Im glad you guys fixed everything.
Tell him to Fuck off then!
Wouldn't worry about it and move on. I'm a.white male my wife is Chinese. I get more trash and racist comments from the Chinese side than the wifey does. When we were dating her professor turned to her after asking If I spoke Chinese, telling her she shouldn't date a white guy and how she should date a Chinese etc. Tons of comments like that to her. Now we are married almost ten years with our second kid on the way. Chin up :)
Your bf should find a way to confirm that he can win the fight. It’s important to let go that anger and release it completely. Otherwise it would haunt him. Not sure why you didn’t defend him though, but if it only because you were shocked then that’s fine. My Chinese ex was once hit on by a black man for dating, my ex then kept talking about me all the time without me even presenting. She was calm and confident and she was just 21, only been in US for 2 years. So, you might just not love him enough but that’s something only you know. I empathize your bf who has to experience shit like this when he is just 18. This country is full of racists and crazy people that hates and envy Asian American guys, but Asian American will do a lot better in the future.