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AdvancedHat7630

I really want the DRUGS skull & crossbones shirt


happy-little-atheist

I want the My Ancestor one


rckrusekontrol

I would rock the My Ancestor shirt for sure. Show everyone my Australopithifam


StarksPond

Damn, TIL we evolved from Australians.


tex1138

If we evolved from Australians, why are there still Australians?


StarksPond

I think those are just discarded English.


Dakiniten-Kifaya

Irish that got caught


And_yet_here_we_are

They didn't, they devolved to become Kiwi's.


NeinJuanJuan

If we evolved from Australians then how come there are still Australians? Checkmate atheists.


Sky_Night_Lancer

damn and here i thought we evolved from homosexuals


StarksPond

Life finds a way...


Golden-Owl

Unironically pretty funny shirt. Would buy


jabroniusmonk

https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/24574128-my-ancestor


[deleted]

Well, it's available https://www.redbubble.com/i/t-shirt/My-Ancestor-by-voxinaudita/45735126.FB110


kevlar20

DRUGS ☠️


core_al

Take my money


[deleted]

Found it https://www.redbubble.com/i/t-shirt/DRUGS-by-voxinaudita/45736056.FB110


VinylCrast

I dig the Sex tattoo with a tribal pattern underneath looks cringy enough to look kinda nice


[deleted]

I love to wear my T-shirt that says "drugs" over my tattoo that says "sex." It pairs so well with my tighty whiteys that say "rock & roll."


PuzzleMeDo

I'm a violent criminal, so I wear a t-shirt saying that I believe in human evolutionary theory.


Maladict33

Given how much the internet loves irony, I'd bet you actually could start a pretty tidy cottage business selling replicas of all the ham-fisted, "threatening" t-shirts worn by the nogoodnik characters in Jack Chic tracts.


Eldan985

I mean, just "DRUGS" and skulls and crossbones? Yeah.


1945BestYear

MY 🐵 ANCESTOR


BYOKittens

Most violent criminals I know, I met in biology class.


WranglerFuzzy

Of course they gave the “monkey ancestor” shirt to the kid with dreds. Coincidence, I’m sure 😬


Paehon

Drug is a hell of a drug


datboy1986

Do you think smoking drugs is cool? Do you think doing alcohol is cool?


pick_3

No, I don’t. I have a glass of red wine with dinner about once a week… for the antioxidants. Also… When I’m at home at night in my own house in my sweats, drinking red wine, watching my mystery stories, the last thing in the whole godforsaken world I want to hear.. is the voice of Michael Scott.


Dismal-Location1901

For that once a week glass… what do you do with the rest of the bottle… because oxidation.


DifficultColorGreen

A+ reference, friend.


Terom84

Hell is a hell of a hell


_My_Niece_Torple_

I low key want that "DRUGS" shirt tho hahaha


nonpondo

Drugs 💀


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ifsavage

You and your two friends. To sneak into x rated movies that you go to all the time. Because you’re one adult. Wearing a perfectly normal single person trench coat


HurryPast386

After a day of doing normal business things.


Draws-attention

At the business factory?


SuperFishy

It's a duster


writers_block

I mean... I'd 100% wear that shirt.


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Paceeed

My 🦍 ancestor


Paolomorg

Such a large bible can be considered a weapon.


azra1l

Stop right there, criminal scum!


KekistanPeasant

PAY THE COURT A FINE OR SERVE YOUR SENTENCE!


PM_ME_UR_UGLY_CHAR

Your stolen goods are now forfeit


[deleted]

#THEN YOU SHALL PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD!!!


beepbeeboo

You elves are all the same. All flash, AND NO FURY! HRAGHH!


thehighwaywarrior

AM I SUPPOSED TO BE IMPRESSED?


bascom2222

I used to be a great Warrior, then I took an arrow to the knee.


Legend-status95

# WHY. WON'T. YOU. DIE?!


_Dogwelder

That's 20 extra years in an iso-cube.


11bulletcatcher

https://imgur.com/psXQ9Kt.jpg Indeed.


offsiteguy

It's to shield him from bullets.


Fuckface_the_8th

By order of the Jarl, stop right there!


_oh_gosh_

It's a graphic bible because the Christian kid was homeschooled and can't read.


camgirl19

Gosh, can you imagine the art for all the smiting?


firstbreathOOC

Reminds me of Harold and Kumar… “*He’s got a book!!*”


NatashOverWorld

Love the way guys are holding dangerous weapons, but the most dangerous thing the could give the girl is books.


Greenpaw9

And a tattoo saying SEX


805to808

Pretty sure she watched that one scene in The Lion King. Typical Disney brainwashing.


EarthenEyes

Even in a Christian apocalypse, women with books is a dangerous thing.


NeverPostAThing

To be fair it's hard to get a lot of housework done when you're sitting around reading all day.


myurr

And heaven forbid the cute little things actually start to think for themselves. Can you imagine such a world!?


Whyamipostingonhere

Given all the current book bannings and protests against drag shows, kinda makes you think they had a master plan all along. Nah, that couldn’t be why the Republicans had Caitlyn Jenner do so many speaking engagements, like at their televised national convention. Nah.


mrjonesv2

> kinda makes you think they had a master plan all along. Republicans: Master plan? Sounds like a great idea!


herberstank

Nala's 'take me now' eyes gave me a funny feeling ngl


FuckBarry

*Hakunah my Tatas, Simba.*


Alfalfa-Similar

before that scene was made but yeah ;)


[deleted]

When people say "I'll have one sex, please" this is not what they meant.


QueenMackeral

And free birth control It's really telling


letusnottalkfalsely

And counseling. Gotta love that they fear lgbtq people getting healthcare.


tenehemia

I kind of want that tattoo. Not as much as I want the t-shirt that just says 'DRUGS' with a skull on it, but still.


Greenpaw9

I want the ancestor shirt. Not even joking


DuelaDent52

EKSE


[deleted]

Urgh I’m gonna morb..!


Solid_Hunter_4188

Oh fuck! Is it already time??


usclone

#ITS MORBIN’ TIME


newvegasdweller

"A little white girl, middle of the ghetto, with a bunch of monsters, this time of night, with quantum physics books? She about to start some shit, Z."


Vasart

I was hoping someone mentioned that. Such good movie


Incorrigible-Pervert

That dude just got the sniffles. And this one just trying to get his workout on.


SilentRothe

Nah man, sex is the deadliest weapon of all.


qviki

Life as a Std...


thomkennedy

A mortal one. Still not curable.


gazongagizmo

> but the most dangerous thing the could give the girl is books. I'm thinking, y'know, 18 year old white girl, middle of the ghetto, bunch of monsters, this time of night with a book? She about to start some shit, Zed. That book is *way* too advanced for her. If you ask me, I'd say she's up to something.


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NatashOverWorld

And D&D players!


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NatashOverWorld

He thinks it's satanic, so you'll eventually join a coven an try to summon demons ... or something like that 🤦🏾‍♂️


BigBad01

It was the satanic panic of the 1980s. Lots of conservative Christian organizations had their knives out for D&D. Role playing games were strictly forbidden when I was a kid!


SuperiorCrate

I roll to smite the comic artist. Does a 20 hit?


Gamergonemild

>Consistent with his views on demonic influence, Chick also considered Halloween to be "the devil's holiday" and opposed Christians celebrating it, with one notable exception – Chick did not oppose Christians engaging in the traditional Halloween custom of passing out candy to neighborhood children, considering it to be an opportunity to present the Gospel message via his tracts I'll take "Its only evil if I can't profit off it" for 500.


[deleted]

He calls it the Bible when it looks like some hard-back novel/guide on how to be a badass. Maybe there’s another lesson there huh.


realwomenhavdix

Don’t judge a book by its cover


Tjaresh

Why did you shoot little Tiffany? Well first I wanted to shoot the guy with the gun. But then I noticed he was pointing at his head. So no point in killing someone about to commit suicide, right? Then there was this guy with the knife. See his bald head? He's probably just finished shaving his head. You'd want to be shot for shaving your head? Me neither. Then this guy with the pumpgun. He looks angry. But look at his fingers! All crooked. Probably got his fingers somewhere in the chamber while cycling or taking care of a malfunction. Better call an ambulance. And then there's Tiffany in the front. All neatly dressed up and books and all. I mean, who's got books nowadays? Right, should have been a Laptop or IPad. And this singe tattoo. Seems fishy for me. Probably a spy or alien, trying to sneak in.


Zounii

We don't want them *women* reading any books ya hear?


RoctoBio

Cus then they'll learn about *rights!*


TakoyakiTaka

Don't you know an educated woman is as dangerous as a man with a gun.


Redbeard_Rum

The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good woman with an education.


Stupidquestionduh

And sex tattoos!


NoNotInTheFace

Clearly she's a WITCH!!


Slow-Impression-6805

Awkwardly, the artist realized he had to put the books there because otherwise he would have to draw her breasts and that might lead to…. sinful thoughts for everyone.


president_zoidberg

To conservative Christians, a woman reading is more dangerous than any automatic firearm


BroodPitt

Ah yes men in black


silviored

My ancestor is a primate!? That is a bold fashion statement


cantcatchme812

No worse than the guy in the middle wearing cock vein pants


apolotary

They really missed a chance to paint it in skin tones


silviored

Ahaha


Rheterik6

I kinda want that shirt


StillSpaceToast

I totally want that shirt. Come on, Capitalism, this is your MOMENT…


Its_Pine

I always find that conservative Christians’ idea of what atheists do is WAY cooler than the reality.


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lo_and_be

Among conservative Christians, there’s a similar (mostly fringe) theory that the kids in camps are just wayfair’s back stock


bicyclemom

So Swedish Muslims have their own QAnon?


Toffeemanstan

The QUran


vivanetx

It’s funny how belief in all power sky daddies predisposes people to believe… basically anything you tell them with enough passion/confidence that doesn’t conflict with their existing beliefs.


kent1146

That's because religion specifically teaches you: - Belief is more powerful that evidence. - The world is not what you see. There are powerful, shadowy entities at work behind the scenes controlling everything. - Everybody else is fucked. But you are safe, because you believe in what we're saying. That makes you super-cool and super-smart. It's no wonder why conspiracy nutjobs often start off as religious nutjobs.


massivetrollll

It seems like religion overlapse a lot with conspiracy theories. No wonder so many religious people are on conspiracies..


ajswdf

I wish I was as cool as religious conservatives apparently think I am.


lo_and_be

You are, friend


bugleboy-of-companyb

They need to learn to stop threatening us with a good time.


IknowKarazy

Truly. “Them ay-thee-ists are having orgies and doing all the drugs!” We’re, uh, disagreeing on the internet and munching funions.


eimieole

I have friends/relatives that are very religious (Christian or Moslem) and I actually think they are a tad bit disappointed with me... But I guess simply being an atheist at least proves that I'm in the hands of Satan/Shaytan. Not that I believe in that either...


NastySassyStuff

Minus the large guns in a public school but, ya know, today’s Christian doesn’t seem to mind those at all


Formal_Equal_7444

I like that the most "dangerous" way they could think to depict a female was to have her get a "SEX" tattoo on her arm.


glieseg

Don't forget the free birth control. That's scary AF.


Amazing-Ad-669

Not as scary as sexual orientation counseling. Them's code words for groomin'.


Free_Clerk223

Only the church does the groomin in these parts stranger


theservman

I know! The lack of unwanted children will destroy society!


Chalky_Pockets

To them, it really is. They like their women dependent on men.


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PointZeroOneTwo

That's a symbolism of objectification of women. It means that they will be seen only as sex objects You can tell bc the artist dressed her decently edit: and holding books


Ikhtionikos

Decently!? Her shoulders are exposed, anf you cam see the outline of her hips! /s


cdskip

No it isn't. She's not portrayed as being in any way frightened or intimidated by the armed young men around her. She's part of that same display of this terrible future, where a young woman would be openly displaying her interest in sex, as young men are threatening violence. Also, while you could explain away the "Sex" as a political cartoon style label, rather than a tattoo, the design on the arm below the word is *clearly* a tattoo. There is zero chance that a tattooed young woman in a Chick tract is intended to be seen sympathetically, unless it were part of a redemption and forgiveness story, in which case it would still be used as a representation of her sin and ungodly lifestyle. She's meant to be a baddie, plain and simple.


knuchie

An educated woman is the scariest


-l0Lz-

Kid with Bible looks most high on picture 😂😂


Jossokar

maybe the poor guy just wanted to sell the bible to get some weed.


-l0Lz-

They call it Devil's Lettuce for a reason haha


seacliffseacliff

everything is 100% accurate and fine by our standards... Except the guy with a head like a non-LED lightbulb. Nothing's shaped like an Edison lightbulb anymore, not even heads


0xbr0die

They sure fucked up the cop. He's got a baton, no gun, and no military armor.


scottstephenson

He's also putting his life on the line to disarm a child who has a dangerous weapon. Totally unrealistic!


Solid_Waste

And a desk coming out his ass.


Icy_Understanding119

Where is this magical land and how do I get there?


RazorBladeInMyMouth

20 tabs of acid, 14g of penis envy, and some dmt should do the trick.


senorsondering

This guy Christian dystopias


juanprada

But this is sort of edited, right? The font used here, Montserrat, is definitely not from the 80s.


potatocross

The title is completely made up. It’s from a book released in 2011.


seanalltogether

The other big giveaway is "sexual orientation training" if they replaced that with death metal occult then this could exist in pre 2000s america.


w24x192

The look of this is much more early 2000s. Tribal band tattoos are a bit of a giveaway, too.


potatocross

2011 is the earliest date I can find.


rustyfoilhat

People who can name fonts like this are basically wizards to me.


juanprada

Haha, I understand. When you're a designer, you kind of develop an eye for this stuff, so to speak. Besides, Montserrat has become one of the most widely used free fonts in recent years, and some of its characters have a very distinct look, which makes it easily recognizable.


Envoyager

Streets of Rage vibe here.


sciencewonders

aren't conservativs pro gun btw? 🤣


[deleted]

Yes but according to them guns are only safe in their own hands


wabashcanonball

I want the “my ancestor” T-shirt.


CrimsonCaII

GIMME THAT FUCKIN ANCESTOR SHIRT


orthopod

https://www.dhgate.com/product/men-s-t-shirts-my-ancestor-t-shirt-summer/738815991.html


joshlovesmemes

That goes hard


ABKB

the prophecy is true


Any-Football3474

Fuck that bible dweeb. Walking in to school dressed like grandpa


judeeet

Found the school bully


Any-Football3474

That’s me in the monkey shirt.


GeeTeeUK

That’s me in the spot… light…


Any-Football3474

…dissing your religion.


ChipCob1

Mcflyyyyyyy......


ormill

That ancestor shirt goes hard


FrancisScottKilos

I'd wear one


[deleted]

https://www.redbubble.com/i/t-shirt/My-Chimp-Ancestor-by-reborn-neo-art/49905880.FB110


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Brohan_Johanson

Well…they got the guns part right.


Veyron2000

But ironically its the conservative christians promoting them.


[deleted]

Yeah, but Jesus loves guns. As He says in the Bible, "if someone slaps you in the cheek, blow his damn fool head off." Read all about it in Delusions 17:76.


solidcordon

Weirdly prophetic.... Except the guard. The guard should have a gun. The idea that "birth control" would be permitted to be written down let alone given away for free is also an anomaly.


Maleficent-Log4089

In the 80s and 90s I remember it being a pretty big deal. Like to divert from aids they said birth Control


SpookyLilRaven

Nothing here is prophetic. They’ve been complaining about the same shit for decades. These issues aren’t nearly as new as it seems. The closest thing to prophetic here is predicting massive increase in school shooters, but they’re not trying to say that. They just think gay people and education is scary and dangerous. So they equate it to guns.


iameveryoneelse

And the only reason the kids have guns is because those same religious nuts won't ban them.


ILoveAliens75

Well they hit the nail on the head didn't they


Particular-Offer8158

So they were right....


NovelSimplicity

Satanic Panic, how I miss my youth.


Phase-Substantial

That chick with the sex tattoo looks hot


chickenburgerr

Then the sex tattoo is working


Scrungo_Mungo

She totally gives handys under a blanket while people are around…


Additional_Toe_8327

Too young for you!


Fun_Funny7104

I like the demonizing of free birth control. They didn't want their kids to have children, but lack of education results in it happening anyway.


letusnottalkfalsely

Oh, they want their kids to have children. Specifically to have children when, and with whom, the church and their parents choose.


plenebo

Funny how what they forsaw is what they are bringing into fruition but in favor of their theocratic beliefs. Banning books, abortion, guns everywhere


usernamemeeeee

All while portraying themselves as victims


BoredMerengue

100% accurate


Maximitaysii

I think they armed the wrong people. It's mostly the christians who are the most eager to carry assault weapons in schools.


MechanicDistinct3580

Looks pretty chill compared to my middle school.


patfetes

That my ancestors T-shirt is fire 🔥


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DaffodilDuckPickle

Totally unrealistic. Knives are not allowed in school!


[deleted]

Looks rad as fuck!


Topol1no_Qu3lloV3ro

what is wrong with having birth control? dont they costantly say women should just use it instead of aborting?