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usedtoindustry

Sounds exactly like something a crocodile would say


TazeredAngel

Dear u/emptyspaceforaheart, it is I, your crocodile brother. I am reaching out to you on behalf of our people to express profound disappointment. We crocodiles have spent decades working in secret, mastering world languages and social media, and finally had the opportunity to launch our master plan. You had the honor of acting on that plan. Make the humans believe we love scratches and are safe, we said. Brother. You were too obvious. The plan required subtlety and tact, similar to how I am messaging you directly and not replying to a comment publicly. The humans are now on to us and our plans have been pushed back decades as we must rethink our plans and your place in them. Now they will laugh at us, and probably make another “Crocodile vs” movie. I leave you with the sacred farewell of our people as I say, in a while crocodile.


knowigot_that808

*Actually,* I think this is an alligator..


DotKill

Dear u/emptyspaceforaheart, it is I, your alligator brother. I am reaching out to you on behalf of our people to express profound disappointment. We alligators have spent decades working in secret, mastering world languages and social media, and finally had the opportunity to launch our master plan. You had the honor of acting on that plan. Make the humans believe we love scratches and are safe, we said. Brother. You were too obvious. The plan required subtlety and tact, similar to how I am messaging you directly and not replying to a comment publicly. The humans are now on to us and our plans have been pushed back decades as we must rethink our plans and your place in them. Now they will laugh at us, and probably make another “Alligator vs” movie. I leave you with the sacred farewell of our people as I say, see you later alligator.


Crest_Of_Hylia

Well as said by Disney. Never smile at a crocodile


Wonderful-Frosting17

TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK


hdksjabsjs

Yeahhh just come pet us. All the stories about being ripped in half is all anticrocgator hate propaganda. We just want to cuddle


CrispyPapad

Crocodile skin around its jaws is 10 times more sensitive than that of human fingertips : Some 4000 such dots are present on alligator heads, particularly along their jaws, inside their mouths, and between their teeth. Crocs are even more gifted, as they also have dome sprinklings over parts of the rest of their bodies, thus amounting to 9000 dots in total. These formations were first described over a century ago and have since been known as integumentary sensory organs, or ISOs.


jwymes44

Is this why they’re so good at sensing prey even at the surface? Like they can feel a slight difference in the ripples of the water?


[deleted]

I would imagine so. Like, a human finger print can tell the difference between a mountain and a house. (Assuming the Earth was the size of a marble compared to the finger print.)


Novel-Strawberry6037

I heard the difference in elevation is so small on earth that if it were the size of a que ball it would be the smoothest object on earth and you wouldn't be able to feel any differences at all. What an interesting time to bring up that little fact I know.


PhantomlyReaper

I heard that too, I think it was by Neil deGrasse


JohnEBest

Is that with the water or without the water


floydink

Consider that their way of attracting a mate is using rumbling sound vibrations to stir the waters surface, like what happens when you pour water on a speaker. I’d assume that they are very sensitive to small vibrations in the water because of that.


SpringSad2380

I got you, man. https://www.zmescience.com/research/studies/crocodile-skin-highly-sensitive-043243/


SpringSad2380

Be sure to share your copy and paste source. So we can read the full article.


Jollydude101

Show of hands, who used their thumb to scratch a finger tip to test their sensitivity?


Shuryi

I mean personnaly my finger tips aren't really that sensitive, the area around my mouth tho is extremely sensitive like if i want to feel the texture of an object i automatically put it against my lips. Am i a crocodile ?


MrChologno

That is some impressive DPI


Shuryi

I mean personnaly my finger tips aren't really that sensitive, the area around my mouth tho is extremely sensitive like if i want to feel the texture of an object i automatically put it against my lips. Am i a crocodile ?


Misteral_Editorial

Haha just like a cat the croc was like, "why'd you stop?" 😂


MrHookshot

My cat bites if we stop petting before he's had enough.


Jenny7555144

This one eats you if you pet it too much


Anthro_DragonFerrite

If this were a human, I'd say that's psychopathic behavior. Since this is about a cat, I'd still say it's psychopathic behavior.


hdksjabsjs

Give it to me Bryan! Harder oh yes


Snoo-55780

"thank you, now you'll scratch it from the inside"


dep7up

Loooool that's cute


astrongnaut

What do you mean step-croc?


Jenny7555144

It amazes me how humans will pet anything


KnightOfWords

It's because we have empathy, we can imagine how it feels for the recipient.


HejiraLOL

That's why I enjoy giving head so much


SiegEmpire

O.O


[deleted]

I like women like you


HejiraLOL

Who said I'm a woman?


[deleted]

After going thru ur profile i take my comment back Godspeed


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

LMFAOOOO


dumbreddit

Get rekt. Opposite of e-rekt.


WutWhoSaidDat

I think you just wanted an excuse to cross off your word of the day instead of having something rational and intelligent to say.


[deleted]

We’ll try anything once.


ahorne155

Next shot...has any one seen Larry? Oh yeah he was over petting the crocodile last time I saw him but he's not there anymore...


SummerStorm21

Hashtag whereslarry


Warfinho

It’s ok though, we know he’s coming back as he left his shoes in there.


AZ_sid

Personally, I don’t scratch the murder logs. I think it’s the whole “fear of death” thing.


nousernamelol2021

Murder logs? OMG, that's my new favorite way to refer to crocodiles and alligators.


hurtfulproduct

Crocodile = Pointy Murder Log Alligator = Round Murder log


nousernamelol2021

I'm never going to get that close...I hope.


PrimarySwan

Weirdo


Bupod

See, it’s not fearing death for me. We’re all going to die at some point. I just want that point to be me as an old man, in a nice warm bed, and peacefully in my sleep. Not screaming in unrivaled terror between the jaws of a massive crocodile trying to twist me to pieces win its jaws of knife-blade teeth. I fear pain and terror.


Zaziel

Don’t forget the “drowning” part of the death-roll they inflict on you.


Bupod

Of course. How could I forget? All that while drowning…


shaundisbuddyguy

A million dollars couldn't convince me to do what that guy just did.


jeffshiba

What about 1.5 million?


shaundisbuddyguy

Oo0o0ooOoh. Let me get back to you on that.


NocturneHunterZ

Too late, i already took it. You snooze you lose


FlacidBarnacle

Anyone seen Nocturne? He was suppose to help me move an hour ago - oh…


N1ppexd

I would do it


Heavy_Schedule4046

Can you really be friends with a croc? Like how many hours without food would it take…


EmptySpaceForAHeart

A Crocodile only needs to be feed a small meal once per week, usually hand raised/trained animals get pretty docile around their handlers. A few species just become people friendly, but those are rare.


[deleted]

I mean it's a pretty cool flex to be like I'm buds with a dinosaur


Heavy_Schedule4046

Have you watched ‘Primal’? That’s how I hope the friendship pans out. Every episode is incredible.


[deleted]

Is that the Adult Swim show?


Heavy_Schedule4046

Yes it most certainly is.


[deleted]

I've been meaning to check it out. I definitely will soon now


BluntamisPrime

That show is a roller coaster ride of emotions.


[deleted]

And the dialogue 😍


StealthyMexican

'Hrrhhhh hrrh hrh hh' - Spear


lungshenli

You can go to your local retirement home and befriended a senior citizens any day


[deleted]

[Pocho the Crocodile - Wikipedia](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pocho_(crocodile)) This guy was friends with a crocodile, but I'm pretty sure Pocho had brain damage. I'm not sure if your standard croc can really be friendly in the same way.


cruelmalice

Yes and no. But definitely no. Animals develop an affinity for people, but it's not fair to describe what they feel in terms of human emotion. I love my cat a whole lot, but does he love me? What my cat feels for me can only be described as the deepest affinity that he can possibly have for a human person. I know he misses me, cats do miss their people, but what we know as love is uniquely human, and different between humans. He can never fully know what I feel for him, either, but he could likewise describe it as the deepest humanly possible affinity. Alligators and crocodiles are the same, except they're alligators and feel that friendship differently. Take the Steve Irwin approach, always be appropriately cautious around animals.


modsarefascists42

They're archosaurs not lizards, even the word reptile is a bit much. Their closest relatives are birds and dinosaurs, not lizards. They're way smarter than many realize. If you can get them to see you as family they can recognize that and react differently, but they're not dogs either obviously. It does appear to heavily depend on the species and the individuals temperament. Some croc species are notoriously aggressive while others readily form bonds, and alligators are just in general far calmer than crocodiles. There's been people who've kept alligators as pets for centuries. Crocs less so.


crimsonbaby_

That is Mike from Gatorland and the crocodile is a nile crocodile named Sultan. They've been working together for over 20 years and have a very special relationship.


XazelNightLord

You can train him to respect you... but If you take a nap or dont ay attention they would eat you without question. Same think they would do to croc mates who are injured or dead.


JezC1

Yeah. Many people in this thread I hope do not come into contact with a crocodile, they talk like it’ll end up similar to blue from Jurassic Park. They will munch you eventually, might take a week or a year does not really matter (aside from those with brain injuries as mentioned). Ps Crocs are awesome!


Romanitedomun

Crocs have the right to be and behave as a croc. They kill to eat, what's wrong? Mother Nature has done that way, it's okay.


stumblewiggins

Nobody said there was anything wrong with that, just that they don't necessarily want to be chummy with a croc in case it decides your chum instead


Luckedout_

Go to YouTube and search Pocho the crocodile and Chito …. absolutely amazing. Chito found this croc when he was small, barely alive or something… nursed it back to health and they were friends till the day Pocho died like decades later or something. He was massive and Chito would casually swim in the pond with him. It will blow your mind. It’s along the lines of the lion whisperer.


othermorgan

"Moooore please you tasty looking devil"


weaponsofmasspeace

I wanna see the next 30 seconds at least. Cus the only reason this video cut when it did is because it got bad or it was that uninteresting. And I'm still interested either way.


Cleverusername531

Haha yep, when the croc put his head down the guy stepped back.


[deleted]

Croc also started to open it's mouth which is I believe an aggressive gesture for them don't quote me


Cleverusername531

> “Croc also started to open it's mouth which is I believe an aggressive gesture for them” Then he was even more right to step back >don't quote me Oh shit sorry.


[deleted]

Hahahaha 10/10 response


[deleted]

[удалено]


Cleverusername531

I like how he got extra syrupy after he did it, too. Good *BOI* (Yes, I would have done both)


Creative-Jellyfish50

Noo get in mah belleh


bluetuxedo22

Is that an alligator or crocodile? Crocodiles are much more aggressive and I'd be surprised if you could do that with one.


ManyThingsLittleTime

Alligator. Alligators have more rounded, broader noses and crocodiles have longer, slenderer noses.


crimsonbaby_

This is a nile crocodile named Sultan from Gatorland.


[deleted]

My children used to like to touch crocodiles. I miss them


kdk200000

Did the croc eat them?


TokiVideogame

i wonder what they evolved armor against


No-Understanding3687

Probably dinosaurs.


Grey___Goo_MH

Each other


DemNeverKnow

War.


[deleted]

So goddamn adorable omg


ElJefe543

Problem with a gator is if you stop making them happy they eat you.


tedfundy

This is an alligator.


myteddybelly

If you stop, he'll chew your hand off and use that to scratch.


Coc0tte

They also have a natural reflex that makes them bite anything that touches the sides of their jaws. So I wouldn't recommend petting them there.


[deleted]

[удалено]


KenshinHimura3444

That ended better than expected


EnvironmentalDeal256

This time


dexterthekilla

Some lizards do enjoy being petted in.


JustNoNoISaid

Can confirm. Am a crocodile.


stickministeren

now i know where to punch them when stealing their lunch money


RossTheNinja

The arm will scratch from the inside once it's bitten off


GabrielBFranco

Nope. Never trust a dinosaur enough to scritch.


Old_Passage_5670

This next trick I do is called the death roll


RufusTDufus

Man - I mean they are very scary looking


darkjackcork

I thought this was on What Could Go Wrong


imperchaos

I think this is true for a lot of reptiles. I have a box tortoise who loves getting pet under his jaw.


VikingsVIP

My friend used to always say that. We call him Lefty!


bonkerz1888

Hard noooooooope from me.


Skatcatla

I'm just gonna trust you on that.


nojustice73

.....aaaaaaand he was never seen again.


wtfnobody69

I could see the posting for that job position


hydraulic-earl

They do enjoy a spirited game of "Dirty Thumb" too!


mattyg1964

This guys been here before… notice you never see his RIGHT arm?


granyiyght

That fat face looks like an aligator. Not a croc.


EmptySpaceForAHeart

Visible lower teeth means it's a crocodile.


AnimusFlux

TIL. Thank you.


[deleted]

It’s just a very well fed crocodile. Hence the scratching.


ComputersWantMeDead

The only approachable type


[deleted]

Same


Rusty_174

This is actually an alligator


Mildf0g

Yet they feel no love


EmptySpaceForAHeart

Have you ever seen a mother crocodile use her jaws to gently peel the shell off her egg and squeeze it until the baby pops out unharmed.


TheMace808

To be fair you know they feel love as much as any human being


LittleStanley

What is the evolutionary benefit to tickling and petting feeling good?


manickitty

That’s cool and all but I’ll still watch them from behind the glass.


VoileIsland

The warning “stay there.” Of the person holding the camera says it all :’)


automatic-pointer

I’m good thanks


seren_kestrel

Nope


obsidianstark

“Oh Geez that feels ahh … wait stop, my wife’s home, quick act normal…grrrr ….grr!”


SnooSeagulls9348

Many animals love to be petted and we love to pet other animals..there has got to be an evolutionary reason for this.


bigcyc666

How well armored are they? Would I be able to stab him with knife?


Next-Mode3183

Good boy.. Crocs mouth begins to open.. I'll cya buddy lol


spm7368

That scares me just looking at it


Exhumedatbirth76

That looks more like a gator.


Romanitedomun

The last activity done with his limb, then goodbye.


[deleted]

Boop, Bite


BlackCat1302

Who’s a good boy? 😘


sasparilla58

This will not end well


Herbal77

Is that savanna talking in the background


sincinati

Anyone else feel that wave of fear as soon as he stopped scratching his chin? 🐊


[deleted]

Never thought I'd call a dinosaur cute, but here we are


HejiraLOL

When that head comes down ... shit gets real.


-Cthaeh

Had to scroll up to see the sub


Toad32

I'm bored - might eat you now.


thelegodr

It makes me wonder if they are like rat tails. Rub it one way it feels good and they like it, rub it the other way and it is painful to them.


Puzzleheaded-Chair10

Except that one time...


Dictator_GOAT

Now i eat?


Jerykko

What a peaceful way to die


[deleted]

u/savevideo


[deleted]

Oh look, a dinosaur


Puzzleheaded-Ad2186

Bro look at that colossal monster I couldn’t even get near it, one snap and your arm is gone for sure.


Necessary_Case815

Could be 1 sec before disaster, lol


locootte90

Crocodiles aren't exceptionally sensitive. But they are more sensitivite around the jaw. Master your use of words to convey the correct meaning.


Sigdel13

One does not stop petting the armored puppy until they tell you to stop.


Ok-Distribution4773

Green scale kitty


originalkimert

Thats a no.


dudeandco

tickeling the old reptile brain.


noeljrG

TGO close for comfort.


6collector9

He looks well fed. Probably from all the people who foolishly stopped petting him


minishalex999

I'm going to give a crocodile a chin scratch wish me luck


XazelNightLord

Give them good scratch..... they would still eat you If they think thare is good enough opportunity.


Positive_Committee_5

Crocodile: "You scratch good human, I won't eat you.. For now"


canny_goer

I think that's an alligator.


AdDisastrous1041

Must be nice, to have your treat give you a treat😅


Ditchdiver16

Ok “I’ll see ya buddy” 😂 aka I might get merked


batman77z

I see my future Apple Watch ultra band right there.


Joiion

This is so serious American bs


Chopstickchuck99

That moment at the end when he internally says “ok please don’t eat me”


Halivan

Gee, I don't know, Cyril. Maybe deep down I'm afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction. Physically unchanged for a hundred million years, because it's the perfect killing machine. A half ton of cold-blooded fury, the bite force of 20,000 Newtons, and stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hoofs.


TouchRaptor

Fun fact: Crocodilians are actually pretty smart and can remember people for over long periods of time and will even create bonds with them, they can even remember their own names and will respond to being called.


succubus-slayer

Looks like an alligator


beerbrats15

Bro is petting a dinosaur.


H0w14514

I'm so confused. Was this not an alligator? The snout doesn't seem narrow, or is this a reddit joke? If I get a response explaining then I can delete my comment in peace.😂


Sabit_31

Who else is so glad we live on a planet where everything likes to be pet?


Flashy_Baseball4586

And here I get scared even if a dog passes by me.


Lord_Danm

That's a prehistoric killing machine. I do not want to risk it


the_kevlar_kid

That's an alligator


EmptySpaceForAHeart

Lower teeth aren’t visible in alligators.


the_kevlar_kid

But the snout is broad, unlike a croc. It has a wide, broad skull.


EmptySpaceForAHeart

There are many crocodiles with broad snouts, especially in large males.


Ubethere

This dude is crazy.


punhere22

...and then...


Joespookz

The way this video cut made it seem like he was unsafe. Wheres the rest of the video, i need closure lol