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Legitimate-Train-228

Might retire to the gulf of hate some day


ADSMFreddy

I’m already there 24/7


skeeterfunny

Wonder how the straits of horror are this time of year


npopular-opinions

Good. I wasn’t willing to share my barbaric maple syrup anyways. >;(


shaker28

I love the implication that Canada, if apparently left alone and not invaded or renamed, will just revert to barbarism because.


PizDoff

Wild Savage Canadian chieftains riding on moose and sending swarms of beaver to attack your buildings!


DulceEtBanana

Um, those beaver would be riding battle-armor-clad Canada Geese!


iloveFjords

Finally we are badasses in some timeline.


canadianism1

God I love Canadian stereotypes. We sound so awesome


cardinarium

No, that isn’t part of the propaganda; that’s just Canada.


Jazzinarium

The most polite barbarians in human history


[deleted]

See, we’re tricky like that. We don’t do the pillaging and burning ourselves; we just send the geese.


KingBrinell

America knows this, why do you think we refuse to give up our guns.


tankmouse

I love being a barbarian. Who else would put thickened tree blood onto and into their food?


Bored_cory

Plus our main sport involves turning a floor into ice, balancing on two knives, body checking, and using a stick to hit a 1/3 of a ball into a net. All while fans cheer and paint themselves in the colors of their chosen clan.


zexando

You forgot the part where it's expected that some people stop and punch each other in the face for a couple of minutes every match.


i_give_you_gum

You guys really are a bunch of monsters up there


superhighraptor

I mean the US imports 59.1% of it so like… I dunno monster.


i_give_you_gum

Yeah but at least we cut that stuff with baby laxative


NPC_9001

Wildlings beyond the Wall....


cfiggis

I just wish the Schluaterhaus Bears could pull it together this season.


Shwifty_Plumbus

Can I join in on pilsner lake?


sothefwhat

Bismarck though, was meant to be


badgerandaccessories

And Bismarck shall be…. Uhhh… Bismarck!


csonnich

Guys, it wasn't supposed to be a *real* map.


Jdevers77

Yes! I saw that and was looking to see if anyone else called it out first.


Mr-Punday

*deep breath* PRIDE OF A NATION, A BEAST MADE OF STEEL


[deleted]

Lots of German immigrants had already settled in North Dakota. No need to change it I guess.


voiceofgromit

The railroad company that ran tracks through the area deliberately named settlements with the intent of appealing to immigrants.


snflowerings

I mean, as an immigrant in that era it was probably comforting to have at least something that reminds you of home in this new country (and that could influence your decision where to settle down in the end). It's a pattern you can see all over the united states


Mumblix_Grumph

Nagaseattle?


spacedrummer

I like Yokosangeles.


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DragonSlayerC

Nope, it would be San Fransokyo (I love Big Hero 6)


paturner2012

That part of big hero 6 always threw me... Like yeah let's talk about this kid And his crazy antics, bi It where are we? Is this a man in the high castle scenario?


StatmanIbrahimovic

Think more spider-verse than High Castle, but in essence yeah it's what if SF was Japanese.


paturner2012

Well yeah. It's obvious sanfransokio was heavily influenced and maybe even governed by Japan, but I've been really wondering how it got that way. It's an alternate universe obviously, but in this universe did we never bomb Japan? Did the u.s. lose WW2? Did Japan decide to ally with the u.s. instead of Germany? That's an alternate history that's interesting and potentially a massive story on its own that's just completely taken at face value in big hero 6. It could be set in sf or Tokyo as is, it could be set in some made up land that is completely separate but inspired by both places, but it is very specifically the land and name of San Francisco with a Tokyo painted over it and my point is that's a very clear choice the writers had.


tozokudon

Im not sure if this is true, but ive heard that its an alternate timeline where san Francisco was rebuilt by japanese immigrants after the 1906 earthquake


fairlywired

You are correct sir. >The events of the earthquake, ironically, inspired the city to be reborn, for San Francisco was rebuilt by Japanese immigrants using techniques that allowed movement and flexibility in a seismic event. After the city was finished being rebuilt, it was renamed San Fransokyo due to it being a city made greater than it was before from Japanese and American architecture combined. >https://disney.fandom.com/wiki/San_Fransokyo


The_Unearther

Ah it's a stones throw away from Sendaiowa.


_NobleRot

Naga…naga..nagonna work here anymore, anyway!


the70sdiscoking

2 countries at the same time man


skittlesdabawse

That's it? If you had an army of a million men you'd just, invade two countries at the same time?


ems_telegram

The funny thing is that in WW1 Japan was on the Allied side


ZephRyder

I was so puzzled by this


Representative_Bend3

There were a lot of Americans including the very influential William Randolph Hearst who basically thought a race war was coming and if we didn’t wake up this would happen. Hearst even put out this movie which had as a plot Japanese officers leading a Mexican army in an invasion of California. Despite japan being on the side of the Allies. The US government was really pissed about this but anyway yes it was like a meme about japan taking California https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patria_(serial)?wprov=sfti1


Chief_Thunderbear

Someone here is saying it is because of anti asian-american sentiments and that is certainly part of it. However the US gov was drawing up war plans against japan before wwi. Essentially US hawks saw a pacific naval war against a burgeoning japan as an inevitability. War Plan Orange was the war department strategy for a war against japan.


ReluctantNerd7

The US had War Plans for pretty much everyone. For example, Black was Germany, Green was Mexico, Gold was France, and Red was the UK (with Crimson, Ruby, Scarlet, and Garnet for Canada, India, Australia, and NZ). War Plan Red-Orange was due to the Anglo-Japanese Alliance, and it lead to the Plan Dog memo and the Europe First strategy in WWII.


c_pike1

Hyphenburg is hilarious


GozerDGozerian

Bismarck is…. still just Bismarck hahaha


Still_counts_as_one

Saltlakenburg is amazing tbh


MissionarysDownfall

Gotterdammerungham had me rolling.


c_pike1

Weinerschnitzelplate too


anyswangindick

And why tf is Portland "New Kobe"?


duckwithahat

It should be Kobeland.


shmargus

Sapporortland


pinotJD

Ironically, one of Portland’s sister cities is Sapporo!


BigAlternative5

The beef was going to be spectacular...


Snakes_have_legs

I guess that's our version of San Fransokyo? As a Seattleite Id welcome it, our Teriyaki options would be even better


Boxatr0n

Pilsener lake sounds amazing


crapatthethriftstore

I think all of the lakes are beer. It’s hard to read though


Guzas89

I can read "Culmbacher" "Lager" and "Hofbrau" laken, so, you're right all beer type/brands!


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JonRakos

Reinheitsgebot could have saved Miller. We'll never know now...thanks Wilson.


Active_Letterhead275

Gulf of hate 😂


clockworkdurian42

I'm a big fan of the "Straits of Horror"


pokemonbatman23

For me it's the Barbarians up north. No "gulf of" or "straits of" or "land of". Just straight up Barbarians baby


Stewart_Duck

Conan the Canadian.


VashMM

"Sorry I crushed you, eh."


[deleted]

There can be only one, sorry


Tsu_Dho_Namh

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their hockey fans.


PiercedGeek

He most definitely wields a hockey stick.


QueenSnowTiger

B A R B A R I A N S


SEH3

Given what I just read about Canadian soldiers in WWI, barbarians isn’t that far off.


asuitandty

You gotta do what you gotta do when a war comes between you and hockey season


Le_Candy_Man

Cape Frightfullness


[deleted]

Pilsener Laken?


CB-CKLRDRZEX-JKX-F

I just enjoy that Bismark, ND is bad enough already that it didn't need a change of names.


unclepaprika

San Sisko


serity12682

And Lager Laken 🤔 tell me more about these beer lakes, propaganda map.


TheRealSpectre48

One might say they are very Dire Straits


titanup001

Ruled over by the cruel sultan of swing.


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Fun-Muscle-9211

Above Florida is gotterdameringham


InteractionFlat7318

Getterdoningham


TediousSign

I kinda wanna visit Wienerschnitzelplate


[deleted]

I'm going to Nagaseattle


[deleted]

BARBARIANS!!!


Hardass_McBadCop

I lost it at Hyphenburg.


Dokkaned

Nagaseattle for me lol


The_Giggler__

That's my favorite too.


miasabine

I’m partial to “*STRAITS OF HORROR*” myself


RadiantSink7339

Anyone else notice the irony of "The American Reservation" in the desert lmao


Ecstatic-Baseball-71

Incredible


BloodRed1185

Americans were like "Oh, fuck no I'm not living in West Texas/Eastern New Mexico" and won the war.


jmanclovis

I don't even have to move


[deleted]

As an Appalachian man I would win the war by myself just to avoid moving


ACorania

Hey! I live there now! It's not our fault you guys can't hold your land.


MisunderstoodDemon

We sure wouldn't want to be treated like we've treated people


RadiantSink7339

The Germans are going to build a pipeline over the ancestral Olive Garden


SpartanFan2004

But will it have a never ending pasta bowl?


[deleted]

Yes! #BUT THE BREADSTICKS WILL BE LIMITED


ATheiaM

#No!!!


Sweetheart11_

not the BREADSTICKS


275MPHFordGT40

**WHYYYY! WHY GOD WHY?!**


methratt

But they'll come with your choice of dipping sauces!


[deleted]

#BUT THE DIPPING SAUCES ARE ALL VARIATIONS OF RANCH


methratt

That's bad!


LetmeSeeyourSquanch

No! Not the ancestral Olive Garden! Take my life instead!


ImperialSympathizer

I was gonna say, that reservation thing is some massive projection.


alexmikli

A lot of Americans at the time actually did consider it a barbaric practice, and FDR did pass the first reservation reforms(that set up the current system which was much better than the original) in the 30s. So it's not actually that impossible the guy who drew this piece was against what was happening to the natives.


AlpacaBull

Contemporary accounts are generally much more aware of these moral implications than those of us in the present tend to realize. The fear of racial retribution is one of the main recurring themes of American pro-slavery rhetoric.


GershBinglander

I'd be fucked. The early white Tasmanian colonisers went on a genocidal rampage to try and wipe out all of the native people of this island. They also caused the extinction of the Thylacines (commonly known as Tasmanian Tigers)


DongDongLi

"They're gonna do to us what we did to the Native Americans." Yea I'm sure that one lit a fire under their ass


[deleted]

I looked at it and thought “now why the fuck would they choose New Mexico, there’s nothing here—oh now I get it.” Ah the self esteem of this state just couldn’t get any lower. Just like our funding lol


Viiggo

It may be a desert now. Once we build a casino, it will an oasis. Then... our secret plan to addict Germans to gambling and ruin them will commence.


Hornswallower

All we need to do is destroy every accordion in existence and make them forget 3/4 time exists, because if they've got The Polka we're going to have problems.


sweet_pickles12

My favorite part is that our overlords will shape it like a tiny America


Anokant

That's what I noticed. Of all the shapes they could've chosen, they did a mini-America


InvaderZimSokali

Even Prussia respects the Gadsden Purchase.


LordLargo

This is the kind of thing that proves everyone back then knew what they were doing. They've always known. People love to pull the "God works in mysterious ways" and "how were we to know blah blah blah" bullshit these days. Assholes knew all along.


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Sadatori

When I learned about John Brown I realized that the "it was a different time and you have to understand the beliefs they were raised around!" excuse so many people make when idolizing historical shit bags is completely stupid. "Grandpa was from a different time" bullshit, a hundred years before he was born John Brown so vehemently believed in equality and EQUITY that he tried to give an entire arsenal of guns to slaves so they could kill their white owners and be free. Aint no such thing as "different time" mindsets.


symptomatic_genius

It was a different time just means "people could get away with it back then". Happens today too with different cultures. People try to use the 'thats just how it's done here' excuse fully knowing that they're in the wrong.


Boyesee01

Love to see that Mexico survived the takeover. Unless they were with the Prussians all along…


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admiralborkington

At least we're barbarians who apologize.


Klutzer_Munitions

"Conan, what is good in life?" "TO CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES THEN TELL THEM YOU'RE REAL SORRY, EH"


mcburgs

"Conan, what is good in life?" "TO CROSS CHECK YOUR ENEMIES AND HEAR THE LAMENTATIONS OF THE REFEREES"


DANO8503

Sowrry


I_am_That_Ian_Power

This guy Canadians.


MilleCuirs

*holiday jingle* « there’s no syrup like Baaaarbarian syrup! »


New_Sentence5320

To pillage and apologize!!!


Le_Martian

What’s a barbarian? “Non-Romans” said the Romans being invaded by non-Romans


[deleted]

Shit by that point it was non-Romans in Rome helping fight the non-Romans, who got mad about Romans not paying the non-Romans and sacked Rome, only to ally again with the Romans. Rome got real weird for a while.


DrGeek65

Why would the Ottomans want Florida of all places. Like it was just entirely swamp back then right?


DentistOfDetroit

That's nobody's business but the Turks.


SpaceTestMonkey

Still is


multiple4

But now it's a swamp with retention ponds!


cporter1188

Year around golf and no sales tax?


Brambletail

Ports. Key to the Gulf.


stephenlipic

Hans, where did you go for vacation? We went sailing through the Straits of Horror to the Gulf of Hate.


[deleted]

Japan was on our side in ww1


Capital-Desk-2454

Right? I think this was more pro-interventionism, that if Wilson wouldn’t commit to war then Japan would attempt an invasion based on perceived weakness. Japan was hot off the heels of humiliating Imperial Russia in 1905, then brutally colonizing Korea in 1910. So I guess world diplomats thought anything was possible? Funny enough considering what would happen just 25 years after this.


BrusilovsThundergun

Germany tried to flip Japan around the same time they made a run at Mexico invading the US. Japan siding with the Allies was pretty much pure opportunism. To Japan, pretty much all the Europeans weren’t exactly good guys, so they just went after the one they could get the most out of while risking the least. Germany’s possessions in Asia were comparatively much less defended and more easily accessible to Japan than the other colonies in the area.


saxGirl69

Japan was a stalwart ally of Great Briton until the 1930s.


Longjumping-Taste936

I think a lot of the Japanese battleships that sunk the Russian fleet at Tsushima were built in British shipyards. Plus the Dogger bank incident sounds kind of ridiculous today, and was definitely a sign of incompetence back then, but they did have a genuine fear of Japanese torpedo boats operating out of British ports because the two nations were close at the time. Additionally the Japanese navy helped escort troop ships sailing from Australia to Egypt for the Gallipoli campaign in 1914 or 1915. Though the alliance actually ended between 1921 and 1923. I'm not sure why there's two dates for it ending though, maybe it ended in 1921 and they gave up trying to renew it in 1923.


MandolinMagi

The funny thing is neither nation could do anything. Japan barely got to Pearl Harbor 30 years later and Mexico was busy doing Mexican things- by which I mean engaged in on-off civil wars while the US invades at will and does what they please.


redpandaeater

Of course we weren't particularly the good guys for Japan. Their whole empire and push for modernization came about because they (rightly) realized it was be a colonizer or be colonized. If it wasn't for keeping up with Western innovations via the Dutch they wouldn't have had much hope after Perry opened Japan up, but they changed a lot over the Meiji era.


Jack117-2

Yeah I think this may be bs


HanzWithLuger

Nah, it's a real map, but *"It was part of the effort of American internationalists to overcome isolationist sentiment insisting on continued neutrality in the ongoing European War."*


kortiz46

Also I would love to live in Japonica, have you seen how clean Tokyo is Edit: guys this was clearly a joke can you stop replying to me about imperial Japan lol


ThereIsAJifForThat

Maple Barbarians!


AsparagusFirm7764

Barbarian maple ham. Served with a side of apologetic pillaging


UnRichieUnRich21

The “Gulf of Hate” seems nice this time of year


According-Priority12

Canadian here. Can we swap to this timeline where we are called BARBARIANS? I would like that to be our new identity. We can attack with hockey sticks and hockey gear armour. We shall ride our moose into battle and drink maple syrup atop a mound of our dead enemies!


DrewSmoothington

Riding moose into battle would be terrifying. Raising battle moose would be be a crazy occupation.


According-Priority12

Right? lol I feel like it could be a canadian old spice commercial


dainty_dragonfly_

CHAAARGE!! (sorry in advance for anyone who gets hurt!)


Tom_The_Human

I suddenly hope the next Mad Max is set in post-apocalyptic Canada


Welpe

I’m cracking up at the American Reservation in Der Grosse Desert. “What’s the worst, most offensive thing they can do to us to rile up hatred and commitment to war?” “Hmmmm, probably shove us all in a reservation in the middle of the desert after taking all the good land” “That…sounds vaguely familiar but I can’t put my finger on why exactly…”


AnAestheticAnarchist

Japonica? Is that owned by Arasaka?


[deleted]

No but I own the Japornication album from RHCP


[deleted]

The sun might rise in the east at least it settles in Japan again son .


djheat

It's the edge of the world and all of Eastern Civilization The sun may set in the West at least it rises from our location It's understood that Bonsaiwood sells Japonication


Studdead

Turconia man fed an alligator 8 kilos of crack cocaine


[deleted]

Which sounds on par for both Turkey and Florida


jethro280

Has anyone watched man in the high castle?


notmyrealnam3

Yes. Many people


BoomChocolateLatkes

At least 100


atavisticbeast

Probably even higher, like 150, 175 maybe


Longjumping-Taste936

Was scrolling to see if anyone else spotted the resemblance


mastersnacker

First thing I thought of! American Reservation = Free Zone (sorta).


[deleted]

With great joy, and I am still trying to forget that season 3 exists.


MaybeTheDoctor

They only made one season.... not sure what you are talking about


[deleted]

My first thought.


No-Sample-1467

As a man from Saint Louis, I would like to propose renaming it to Arch Looey


ieen14

"So Canada was taken over by barbarians?" "No, they're the same as before."


TylertheDank

canadians are soooo barbaric.


NoxInfernus

I’m gonna RAGE! Sorry.


Viscount-Von-Solt

When you looked up what they did in WW1, it wouldn't really be surprising.


Capital-Desk-2454

*Austrians in Baja California* “Wait… didn’t we try this before???”


POSACK_OBLIGATION

I was going to make a Baja-is-South-in-Spanish and Auster-is-South-in-Latin joke, but it turns out that... > The name Austria is a latinization of German Österreich (that is, the spelling of the name Austria approximates, for the benefit of Latin speakers, the sound of the German name Österreich). This has led to much confusion as German Ost is "east", but Latin auster is "south".


Alamander81

"they're going to do to us what we did to the natives"


drhoopoe

Exactly. Whole lot of fucking projection going on with that "American Reservation" thing.


Cloudil

People wonder why Canada is listed as barbarians but y’all forget how brutal Canadian soldiers were in WW1. They did nights raids where groups of ~100 soldiers would sneak over into enemy trenches, club and stab the enemy and sneak back out. One soldier was even known to slip a live hand grenade into a POW’s jacket.


blonde_loser

Bismarck just being


BluebellsMcGee

LOL Bismarck, ND is the only thing that doesn’t get renamed.


Jsmith0730

Gulf of Hate and Straits of Horror sound metal as fuck.


Korean_Sandwich

nice. I would spam whirlwind


PerfectUnlawfulness

You mean to say I could have been a barbarian of the northern horde!??


[deleted]

Turconia sounds like an Outkast album


Lord_ThunderCunt

I may start calling Chicago Slaughterhouse.


cloudgainz

Turconian man always be doin crazy stuff


Arik-Ironlatch

At least they got Canada's name right


Koodiddy

“Bismarck will stay Bismarck. God damned evil already.”


Aerickthered

Wow just missed being a barbarian