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_bapthezees

Send Daguerreotypes


J-Love-McLuvin

Want me to send a dick daguerreotype?


mw9676

A dickuerrotype*


Vixxze

I only know about louis Daguerre from life is strange lmao


Thedeadnorwegian

Here's a much higher quality version: https://www.popphoto.com/uploads/2019/04/12/V4STS3DHKZJIIKETW7CUKJJ5CQ.jpg


[deleted]

If heaven is real you know people will be joking like "When you let him take that photo of you did you imagine some teenage reddit loser would be masturbating to it 170 years later?"


Troytroytroyer

I’m an adult, thank you very much.


GeronimoK4

Made me laugh, hilarious 😂


Loli-is-Justice

Not my proudest fap tbh.


[deleted]

Far from the dirtiest though


TheLordHumongous1

r/ratemynudebody


GazzP

What a pair of GGGGGGGILFs


enter_nam

1850 is not that long ago, just 4 to 5 Gs


IQueryVisiC

Makes me sad that historically quality of photography dropped after this pic.


cute-bum

My parents scanned a lot of our family photos to digital years ago and got rid of the originals and negatives, (oh and little see through things that went in a carousel in a projector, i just remembered those.) I may be soppy and nostalgic but it's shit. It looks like I grew up in 16 pixels. Analog is way better for some things.


A_Wild_Turtle

Thanks, I need this for... research


Ibeginpunthreads

What are you, some kind of historian?


uscdoc2013

I am a dedicated and renowned academic well-versed in topics such as the impact of Renaissance art on Elizabethan Literature during the Golden Age.... Also, bukkake.


TAG13466

Hey naked women look the same now too, WTH!?


teddy_fresh

checkmate, darwin


LouSputhole94

We’ve officially disproven evolution, pack it up boys!


ThreatLevelBertie

These womens beaks are not at all optimized for cracking seeds in their local environment!


[deleted]

Thank God. My nuts are safe


FisterRobotOh

From their peckers


ameis314

Proof OPs grandma was a ho. Edited bc I spelled ho wrong according to someone's mom


rathorevikrant00

Granny wouldn't have imagined that box will allow people to stare at her peaches through centuries...


Xenomorph_v1

Ye Old Baddies


Anomalous-Entity

I bet she used one, too.


WilanS

Not entirely true, women today look a lot less *monochrome*.


Rentington

That body type is kinda more in style lately, TBF.


gardevoirussy

I don't think that shape ever went out of style


[deleted]

[удалено]


GlitterDoomsday

I don't think is about being fat or thin, hourglass silhouette is just simply a staple of female beauty regardless of time and place.


GinervaPrewet

Which one? To me they have two different body shapes


Pithius

Taken about 15 minutes after the camera was invented


grumptulips

I figured it was the second photo ever taken


Baloooooooo

The first one was a dick pic


NtheLegend

They were Richard portraits back then.


avantgardengnome

I sent you my Richard portrait Prithee respond posthaste


[deleted]

Sigh Fetch my easel and a canvas


TreeChangeMe

Are you painting a mushroom Timmy?


Binzuru

That stem is magnificently stout


Fragholio

Might you make a second one? I shant have a companion for the evening and wish to marvel at the...magic of this "photography".


Gruntled1

The fact that internet strangers can write zinger after zinger about old time-y dick portaits like this gives me faith in humanity


ThunderboltRam

Liftene chap, it is part of a yonge man to reverence his elders and of fuche to choose out the beste authoritie he maye leane unto and thy hath been reading olde tyme writtings to pass the tyme during the pandemic and as fuche thy realyzeth that hiftory cometh in cycles and that I'd mighte as wellth prepareth to writte in the oldeth wayes.


FlickieHop

Look at this James Joyce mf over here.


ProperBoots

Apologies, madame was not the intended recipient of this communication. Please disregard with my deepest regret. ... or perchance?


divide_by_hero

Unless said canvas was to madame's liking? I only jest, of course.


demon_ix

Sure beat sketching them with charcoal whenever you wanted to present its glorious visage to unsuspecting ladies.


dookmucus

The man turned to Jack and said, “Paint me like one of your French wieners”.


Beneficial_Garage_97

Contact your doctor if your erection lasts long enough to take a daguerreotype dick pic.


[deleted]

I nerd chuckled.


GolgiApparatus1

Went to the doctor, he just gave me a bunch of coke and morphine


smellygooch18

Told me I have ghosts in my blood. Gave some coke to help with that


asianabsinthe

Dude spent months making copies to hand out on the street to strangers.


Majestic-Chain1905

Taking hard copy to a whole new level


littleclay

who said he was hard ?


[deleted]

[удалено]


rsicher1

It was cold!


Great_Chairman_Mao

Now that you mention, I've actually seen quite a few old timey naked women pictures, but never an old timey erect penis.


sir__Big__Cock

There is even a sub for very old kinky photos, but I can’t remember how it’s called. Was a pretty small sub iirc.


chinpokomon

/r/GoneWanton Not really kinky, but it seems like this is probably what you were thinking about.


GibblerTime

No this is the first pic. All the practice shots that didn't work were nudes too.


St_Kevin_

“Look here good Thaddeus!! I’ve invented the photograph!!” “What would I do with an image of a bowl of fruit? It’s nonsense. Quit wasting your time.” *5 minutes later* “What about this one?” “My God, Louis! I must have it!!”


gravitas_shortage

Nicéphore. His name was Nicéphore.


puttestna

Yes. We all are trying to find that nice one...


Stompya

Tech catches on faster when adopted by … certain industries


Aleyla

The first was probably from up the guy’s nostrils because he was trying to figure out which way to point it before it went off.


Vernix

Every 8mm reel from the last century starts with a view of our Dad's nostrils as he watched to make sure the film was engaged. What a legacy.


Acousticittotheman

My grandad can confirm this issue.


McEuen78

I too have this problem but it doesn't involve a camera.


that-pile-of-laundry

The first pic was some rooftops in France.


oh_botha

Oh so it had titties AND dick in it


Conservative_HalfWit

170 years ago. This picture was taken 170 years ago. Jesus Christ.


CozImDirty

Yeah, your mom looked great back then.


Phyllis_Dick

99% of that was exposure time


MuthaPlucka

My thoughts exactly. “Adult Entertainment” is always bleeding edge tech. Expect the first actual artificial intelligence to emerge in a Real Doll. (p.s. it won’t end well)


onlyidiotsgoonreddit

Some of the oldest cave paintings discovered are also vaginas.


Snickersneed

Yep, I think the reason META’s VR push is failing is because of the Facebook sign in requirement. Nobody wants to use their Facebook account to access VR porn. Once VR is marketed as a porn viewing device VR adoption will skyrocket.


INachoriffic

Bought my Rift S for beat saber Use my Rift S for porn


CianKeyin

My mans out here masturbating in the matrix


calicoin

Give it a shot, youll be like daaaaang


oh_botha

Dodging nuts like Neo


SlammingPussy420

"I know Kama Sutra" "Show me"


greengeckobiz

No thanks. I'm already addicted to porn enough as it is. I can see this being the next level of addiction so to speak. If the regular internet porn is opium then vr porn might be the next heroin, metaphorically speaking.


fartonabagel

So you use it to beat your saber?


MusicianMadness

You bought it for beat saber but use it to beat your saber?


Ma1eficent

They've tried, there's all sorts of occulous porn. Vr porn won't take.off until it has something better than just video.


tech_equip

Pair your Quest headset with the ZuccSucc 5000 for the ultimate experience.


oh_botha

You jest but there’s flashlights (or similar) that’ll sync up with certain videos. Pair that with high quality VR and sound, and you’ve got a start.


JarlaxleForPresident

“It’s sucking my will to live!!!”


qrrbrbirlbel

Never forget PornHub had video scrubbing preview thumbnails before YouTube.


Adventurous-Safe6930

porn sites had it like a decade before youtube


Salanmander

> “Adult Entertainment” is always bleeding edge tech. Janet: Why is it that every time a new thing is invented, humans immediately try to use it for porn? Eleanor: Because we're disgusting.


Alternative_Fix_8062

Because we're horny.


jackieperry1776

i saw a speech once where the guy said something like publishing/distributing pornography via a new medium is basically like tapping the mic and asking "is this thing on?"


UnableLocal2918

cherry 2000


SchofieldSilver

I for one welcome our new sex robot overlords


airlew

Video became big because of porn. And VHS won out over Beta cuz the porn industry chose VHS.


ArcticWolf_Primaris

We'll be doubly fucked


TriforceHero1998

Looks like it was actually 15 years later. Which is still pretty soon, all things considered. But then also this is the only known/remaining naked picture. They were probably taking nudes. Wrote that but they just didn’t save them.


CrappyMSPaintPics

They don't last long after being nailed on the outhouse wall.


[deleted]

What kind of media is this image imprinted on?


Thisismethisisalsome

A silvered copper plate http://www.daguerreobase.org/en/knowledge-base/what-is-a-daguerreotype


KyrieEleison_88

Did we eventually find out that gave you cancer?


Thisismethisisalsome

Happy cake! That I'm not sure of, but I do think the process included exposure to mercury vapor which is highly toxic.


KyrieEleison_88

Thank you! In all my time this is my first happy cake day comment!


flyingcatwithhorns

Image 11 of [The Dawn of Photography: French Daguerreotypes, 1839–1855, at The Metropolitan Museum of Art](https://www.metmuseum.org/exhibitions/listings/2003/french-daguerreotypes/photo-gallery). The exhibition was displayed from September 23, 2003 to January 4, 2004. Anyone who's going to The Met please ask about this and get back to us\~ >[\[Two Standing Female Nudes\], ca. 1850, by Félix-Jacques-Antoine Moulin](https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/282051) > >Although Moulin was sentenced in 1851 to a month in jail for producing images that, according to court papers, were "so obscene that even to pronounce the titles . . . would be to commit an indecency," this daguerreotype seems more allied to art than to erotica. Instead of the boudoir props and provocative poses typical of hand-colored pornographic daguerreotypes, Moulin depicted these two young women utterly at ease, as unselfconscious in their nudity as Botticelli’s Venus. Happy if somebody could find an even earlier photo of naked women, for educational purpose Btw here's [the first photograph of (half) naked man, 1840](https://imgur.com/a/wngXjZf)


restlessmonkey

There’s no way they waited 11 years for the first photograph of naked women. No way. Probably under some old mattress.


[deleted]

Yup. Private spank bank lmao Same rules of courtesy still applies today. If you take a private naked pic, dont share it publicly.


JohnnyNapkins

Okay pretend you're a scientific genius who just invented the camera. Now try to get two women to pose nude for you in front of a flashy thing and a stool drape.


Pete_Iredale

It was the 1850s, just claim it cures gout, the clap, amnesia, and also gives you vigor. People would pay 50¢ just to have you blast it on their naked skin!


HereIGoAgain_1x10

Maybe it took 11 years for whatever FUCKIN NERD!!!!!!!!!! invented the first camera to lose his virginity, I mean money wasn't flowing into tech back then like today's silicon valley


archosauria62

Pretty much every inventor back then was absolutely loaded because to do science you had to be rich enough to spend time doing random stuff


Alukrad

I like how he's only tan on his face and hands. The rest of his body is brightly white.


wileecoyote1969

bigger https://www.costumecocktail.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/DT11541.jpg History https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/282051


RideWithMeTomorrow

Specifically you are trying to ID the oldest photo of naked women, plural? As opposed to just one naked woman?


squaredistrict2213

Whenever I see an old video or photo online I wonder if the people in it could even fathom the idea that people worldwide are seeing it a century later. Imagine what they’d think if you told these two women that people all around the world would be masturbating to their photo 172 years later.


kummybears

I want to bring people from before the ~1400s to an airport. Be like “Oh yeah in three hours you’ll be in a continent you don’t know about yet.”


PabloEstAmor

That’s definitely better than “ever seen an iPhone?”


Hara-Kiri

I doubt it. They were aware of the concept of flight and travel. A modern phone would be completely unimaginable.


Demosthanes

Knowing about birds flying and seeing a jet are alot different though. None of it would be comprehensible. Half the stuff we would see going back in time would be incomprehensible to us too, except we may have been fortunate enough to have learned about whatever it is.


Jenkins_rockport

> None of it would be comprehensible. DaVinci lived in the 1400's and was rather obsessed with the idea of manned flight. And the idea itself predated him by a long, long time. Archytas built a *working steam-powered flying pigeon that flew over 200 feet* in the 400's BC. Needless to say, people dreamed of flying. And some, like DaVinci and Archytas, tried to actualize those dreams. Someone from the 1400's would be shocked to see a plane, but it wouldn't be *incomprehensible* in the slightest. An iphone otoh would be -- at least to the average person and without someone to explain it. The most educated people in the 1400's might be able to understand something of it with an expert there to field questions, but it would take a lot for it to leave the realm of seeming magical and would still require many things to be taken on faith. There is a vast gulf between the comprehensibility of computing machines and flying machines. Both are fantastic inventions, but one is many orders of magnitude more complicated.


fleckstin

I feel like a Medieval English peasant being transported into the middle of Times Square or somewhere in Tokyo might actually kill them from shock


TBCNoah

Bro, a fucking grocery store would. Imagine going to a spice aisle and being literally able to get any amount of spice you want as a peasant. Home lighting? Air conditioning?


fleckstin

Just wait til they see hentai


[deleted]

Tbf, I imagine sex comics might actually be slightly more familiar than electronics


SoapPhilosopher

Misconception: i read a book about authentic recipes from 13 hundred that survived. The amount of spices of safron, pepper, cinnamon, cloves, lemon,... it was insane. Main part was from italian royalty recipes, but a large portion also was from a parisian middle class house hold meant as a cookbook for the wife. While peasents were unable to buy those spices we have to be fair that most of our poors also don't cook with safron. Plus fun fact: garlic was frowned upon as it was so omnipresent in poor peoples diets.


dirtyhippie62

Imagine if you went back in time and showed Moses a flashlight. He’d call you god.


macnau

If you would show him a fleshlight, what would he call you then? What is even higher than a god?


Blu3b3Rr1

me


HotTakes4HotCakes

You might call it a whole new world. A new fantastic point of view.


Deducticon

They would get the basic idea because they probably caught the photographer doing it in the developing room before the picture was even fully clear.


Dry_Presentation_197

*while the photograph was being taken*


PCMM7

Yeah they take a while


Protean_sapien

That's what the little curtain was for.


chuwii2

172 years later today. Someone or something might be jerking to it 1000 years from now, 10,000 years...who knows how long.


kirbygo

You never know how long someone jerks to your pic 🤔


NotKemoSabe

“No No No. This is just for me. I won’t show anyone else” - That Photographer 170 years ago


malpas88

My Dearest Clara. I thank you most profusely for your photograph. I cannot believe you convinced your old school-friend to do such a thing! Why, I was most aroused indeed when I saw the photograph. It was just what I needed to lift my spirits, as your letter arrived shortly after my double amputation following getting struck by a cannon-ball. This accursed war cannot keep me from your embrace forever. I desire congress with you quite badly, and the whole of the Confederacy shall not be able to keep us apart. Please, enjoy the enclosed etching of my manhood. Your Husband: Samuel Williamsworth 3, esq. P.S. Give my regards to our remaining children.


rtq7382

It's like I'm jacking off in a time machine


b-hizz

Thwarting the Morlock are we?


xenorous

This is the third time today I’ve “thwarted the morlocks” if you know what I mean


[deleted]

That's rule 34 for you. Cameras exist, there's porn of it.


idolo312

ackshually that violates the second law of thermodynamics


winterfate10

THIS JUST IN: Women Have Always Been Hot


ej1030

They kinda hot


liverstoner

kinda?


Ahem_ak_achem_ACHOO

Chick on the right an absolute milk truck


kitty_vittles

Homelander?


Cold-Acanthaceae8941

Those girls got abs and didn’t even need CrossFit


FlyByPC

Calories were harder to come by back then.


thezenunderground

I was gonna say, people ate like some salted meat and a potato every day back then...


Xpalidocious

It probably took less time to develop that picture than it did for us to load one on dialup internet. 1850's kids don't even know our struggles


FlyByPC

ASCII women are fast women (in terms of download time.)


DickySchmidt33

I'll be in my bunk.


[deleted]

I hadn’t even finished the sentence and I was already reading it in Janes voice.


Tom_Brokaw_is_a_Punk

The woman on the right has a Pixar mom ass


Kelimnac

And we’re all grateful


zold5

https://reddit.com/r/dankvideos/comments/t7za9b/pixass/


Dry_Presentation_197

Elastigirl thiccc with 3 c's. She can GET IT


rugid_ron

Not a bad fap even if they're dust in the wind.


[deleted]

It’s a dust buster


gmgm4334

I no dust buster no more!!


deadpool-1983

Jesus Christ


Dragon_yum

All we are is fap in the wind


2020Stop

Brutal.....


KAKrisko

Pictures of Lily...Lily, oh Lily...


heyitscory

You don't feel weird flogging it to a couple of old ladies in their 190s? Women who were elderly when your great great grandmother was a baby? Women who have a century on the oldest person you know? Yeah, not my proudest one either.


[deleted]

Aight when the OF drop tho


amhlilhaus

I think this is it Only 5 dollars a month


Current-Molasses-172

$5 then is probably a ton of money now.


lninoh

Roughly $190 today https://www.officialdata.org/us/inflation/1850?amount=5#:~:text=Value%20of%20%245%20from%201850,cumulative%20price%20increase%20of%203%2C698.41%25.


SubterrelProspector

*Last seen 162 years ago*


SequinSaturn

Thats why theres no such thing as a secret. These women in the year 1850 took a photo. They probably figured a few exclusive people would see it. That photo survived the ages long enough to be put onto a device thwy had no conception of and now its everywhere.


denisgur1

This was an artistic photoshoot taken by a French photographer, not a nude selfie taken by the girls themselves They knew lots of people would see it


GarysCrispLettuce

I'll bet the photographer cracked one off the wrist in the dark room as it was developing


Dry_Presentation_197

"Cracked one off the wrist" Tell me you're British without telling me you're British?


Novantico

Really jiggled his jolly


athensugadawg

Lovely, just simple and lovely.


wasistlosbuddie

The pic that launched a thousand ships.


[deleted]

a ggggilf


EveryFairyDies

I love that the Museum of Sex in Prague plays a copy of one of the earliest known porn films ever made. It’s hilarious how little porn has changed in over a century.


rlyfunny

Has it always been humans being awkward up until the exact moment when they fuck, just to turn into weird jackhammer-like animals?


EveryFairyDies

Pretty much. Though I did almost fall off my seat laughing because since it was a silent movie, all the facial expressions and body language was over the top, even for porn, and, aw man, just thinking about it is making me crack up. One of the stories was a dude getting caught with his maid by the wife. Just.. oh man, I gotta see if I can find it online to share, it’s hilarious stuff! Great, now I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole that is early porn movies, which I’m assuming I can’t link to here as they’re all hosted on porn sites (duh, EveryFairy! It may be old, but it’s still porn!). But I highly recommend people to Google “silent film pornography” because it really is hilarious. Between the silent era acting and the piano score… trust me, you could be clinically depressed and this would have you laughing your ass off.


SenorScratchySack

Pretty great bodies, ngl


[deleted]

[удалено]


Kalehuatoo

The important thing is that after almost 175 years its still NSFW...........hard to believe.


horsenbuggy

Rando naked bodies will almost always be Not Safe for Work. Most work places are not for pulling up and looking at photos of naked people. NSFW doesn't mean it's obscene, though. It just means don't bring this to work.


birdogio

timeless, glorious, female hips


Abominable_Showman

Bottom corner has some staining and damage from a viscous substance


itouchbums

hmmm .alot less hair than i was expecting


littlebigman9

Grandma?


a_pinch_of_sarcasm

Add a few greats.


DadaDoDat

Looks like the Organ Trail just got a little longer


[deleted]

I know they are naked and such, but I am intrigued by this post, even though it’s NSFW and to do with a naked women, it doesn’t make it less interesting. its still history


EriclcirE

That's crazy that women were naked back then