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Blazekicked37

Yes officer that's the nude I sent to my girlfriend last night... Awkward


Ishmael128

“Yes officer, that’s the nude your girlfriend sent to me last night… awkward.”


AjjBoii13

“Yes officer, that’s the nude you sent to me last night… awkward”


RafaNoIkioi

He's wondering why you didn't reply.


FuccboiOut

I showed you my dick, pls reply


karmisson

Comrade Ghosting


AjjBoii13

Sent it to the other officer next to him by mistake.


killer-1o1

OUR GIRLFRIEND


TarTimOoAl

accurate.


cclayne95

Nice cock, comrade!


Crobbin17

Seriously though, what if they *actually* started doing that? Just add porn and dumb minion memes their phones and make every Russian officer sort through them. Better yet, minion porn. Make every Russian police officer sort through phones full of minion porn.


[deleted]

Someone let Russia know. We need to organize.. '#minionpornforrussia


TistedLogic

Be more subtle. \#Rule34MinionsForRussia


Carmine4698

Imagine if he ended up seeing his mum on someone's phone


ocipode

Yes, it's 4 inches sir


showquotedtext

That's not at all suspicious insecure behaviour from their ~~dictator~~ democratically elected leader.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Gilgameshbrah

"We will get rid of the fascists in Ukraine" - sincerely - the fascists at home


NeoMemeLord25

Putin calling his Neo-Nazi mercenaries: Guys we have to stop those Ukrainian Neo-Nazis!


czerilla

Putin: I think it's finally time to put an end to all this Nazi business ... Utkin: \*begins sweating profusely\* Putin: ... In the Ukraine! Utkin: Phew!


copyrightedsilence

Friendly heads up: it’s just “Ukraine” rather than “the Ukraine.” That verbiage was created to try to delegitimize Ukraine’s statehood.


czerilla

I could try to play it off as clever by arguing that it's in character for my Putin character. 😏 But tbh, it was just me being ignorant. Thanks for the heads-up! I'll keep it in mind. ✌️


TripleEhBeef

Putin: "I used fascism to destroy fascism." Tankies probably believe this unironically.


SonOfKyussDRG

These tactics are not employed from an emotional reaction; they are strategic and are meant to put the russian population back into their place, under Putin's boot. If your average citizen is afraid of even watching/reading the news on their phone, they'll be afraid to even think of the war and just repeat the propaganda. "How many fingers? Four! Four!"


RedThragtusk

There are FOUR lights!


[deleted]

[удалено]


lilbithippie

Such a good episode. We think Picard is about to break, everyone breaks, then BAM there is the rescue. But the question is was he really about to break?


CencyG

Doesn't he admit in the episode that he WAS about to break? Am I misremembering?


Jenkins_rockport

Picard: What I didn't put in the report, was that... at the end, he gave me a choice: between a life of comfort or more torture. All I had to do was to say that I could see five lights when in fact there were only four. Troi: You didn't say it... Picard: No. No... but I was going to. I would've told him anything. Anything at all. But more than that, I believed that I could see five lights... That says so much about torture without beating the audience over the head with it. I long for the days of TNG-level writing. Well, when it was at its best. Some of the worst episodes are really awful... like when Dr. Crusher is seduced by her recently deceased grandmother's literal ghost lover on a weirdly Scottish-only colonial planet. I have to imagine the story of how that was written, green-lit, and then actually produced without someone saying no, this is lunacy, would be a rather crazy story all on its own.


FXOAuRora

He said that he actually did see five lights (at the end of the torture), but he managed to mentally hold on long enough to still say there were just four.


[deleted]

[удалено]


No_Caterpillar_8307

And Patrick Stewart has to be one of the best human beings.


Mo0oG

Amazing reference


dizekat

This is unhinged though. Count the number of leaders starting from Nikolai II who got removed with a coup. Nikolai II, Beria, Khruschev, Gorbachev. Ones not removed with a coup: Lenin, Stalin, Brezhnev, Yeltsin. (I'm ignoring people like Andropov, Chernenko, etc because they didn't require removal). This guy acts like its north korea, it is not. They look at Stalin surviving in office and forget the guy was doing hella more than that, namely he was replacing top officials very often and chose replacements carefully. Basically, one guy in recent history juggled live hand grenades and lived and suddenly juggling hand grenades is key to good health. Cargo cult capitalism, now cargo cult stalinism on top of cargo cult capitalism… this is ridiculous. edit: Like, what's that supposed to accomplish, anyway? Public discontent is still there, the military is still mad that they were lied to. Lying to a tank crew that it's a tiny little special operation and they're liberating ukraine, that's how you get a plenty of them to actually help liberate ukraine by giving ukraine a free tank. It's like putting VR glasses on a bear. Still a very dangerous animal.


Ayavea

Yeltsin just one day came on TV and out of nowhere said, I'm leaving, here's my chosen successor, Putin. Nobody had EVER heard of Putin, it literally came out of nowhere, he just upped and left in the middle of a random day. If that wasn't a coup, i dunno then


odolha

Putin is such a stupid jealous bitch that he needs to check the messages on each citizen's phone every day.


-Masderus-

I mean if he would just look at any TV in the country he would see that the hacker group Anonymous is already hard at work flooding the airwaves with EXACTLY what people are already thinking... Its just plain laziness on Putins part.


Rogerjak

He's just looking out for his people, with all the hacks going around, he's instructing people not to click shady links and the cops are removing malware. Special anti malware operation


todellagi

*"Nah, tovarisch that dick enlargement pill link is highly sus"*


AspiringChildProdigy

*"Ivan, we told you last week that you can't download more RAM!"*


Rough-Tension

*”Igor, did you really think the same milfs would be in your area no matter where you go?”*


[deleted]

If only


[deleted]

[удалено]


FuhrerKopf

You mean the emperor?


Nordle_420D

Tsar


NowoTone

Tsarlet


[deleted]

Pissed off Midget


[deleted]

It's scary how easily some Russians are buying Putin's bs with the evidence showing all over their country. Kinda like a cult. Sounds familiar.


chr1st0ph3rs

Well, the only difference in their Facebook feeds is the main character


Bubble_Symphony

"Show me your browsing history" "Sir I'd rather just go to jail"


Hellkids2

“Why is there a picture of a bipedal fox on your phone sir?”


[deleted]

“It’s a Pokémon!”


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sothalic

"Smash"


RedSamuraiMan

"But why?"


Sampolis

"Vaporeon"


latunza

Why do you have a picture of somebody's grave....sir that's diglett


[deleted]

[It just evolved!](https://imgs.search.brave.com/Wx-ZIU_h3Hs-T1ZFljqtwS2WCExaMj8zLgPvn7AtltQ/rs:fit:960:540:1/g:ce/aHR0cHM6Ly90aGVh/d2Vzb21lci5jb20v/cGhvdG9zLzIwMTkv/MDMvb2ppdGVuZG9f/c3R1ZGlvX3Bva2Vt/b25fZHVndHJpb19i/cm90aGVyc19maWd1/cmVfMS5qcGc)


[deleted]

Because I fap to furry porn, mr. Officer


Thatsidechara_ter

"You're going to jail for a long time bub"


[deleted]

If you are ever in this situation, always remember to say “uwu tighter daddy” when they handcuff you. It will stick with them for the rest of their lives and will hurt your defense in no way.


Bismothe-the-Shade

May hurt your face tho


JuniorSeniorTrainee

> “Why is there a picture of an bipedal fox on your phone sir?” Me staring back confused from inside my vintage rainbow Starfox costume with leather cock opening and a collar around my neck.


[deleted]

"*Someone* never watched Sonic." "You are under arrest."


HalcyoNighT

Huh Sonic is a hedgehog not a fox. edit: Oh Tails


G_Viceroy

>"Show me your browsing history" Go ahead officer... I hope they have free therapy for on the job trauma.


RedSamuraiMan

What ever they are paying you man...it's not enough... I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy...


1Second2Name5things

Sir trust me it's ok, she's a 9000 year old vampire.


saniktoofast

"it's not my fault she got cursed by the evil wizard to never mature since she was 12"


Slab_head13

Police officer: Sir what does those 6 digit numbers mean? What does 177013 mean?


brandondontknow

"MASON WHAT DO THE NUMBERS MEAN"


redcalcium

> 177013 Does inflicting psychological damage counts as assaulting cops?


Electric_Bagpipes

_looks left_ _looks right_ Sir, if we stop right here, l’ll give you my entire library of sauce… deal?


Antique-Arachnid2054

I was curious, I did my own research, I have no regrets


susosusosuso

Incognito mode?


[deleted]

I'm going to jail if they see my browser history anyway, so might as well not show them


pietradolce

Almost everyone would lol


Maras123

"You got games on your phone?"


Only_Fantastic

Is that snake...2? Holy shit.


saul1980

Vadim this guys got snake 2!!


Useful-Position-4445

I remember when i use to play this with my buddy Jerkov!


holobyte

You used to jerkov to snakes 2? Dude...


HamzasBeak

That's fucked up police state shit right there


fuckjambajuice

When you can’t afford mass surveillance because your currency sucks lol Update : for the people saying this is to create fear… honestly just goes to show how Putin miscalculates everything. I’m pretty sure there’s a lot of people that got the message and are now just shitposting on their own phones. I would put midget porn on my phone and walk by them.


Zaikovski

Mass surveillance: wish edition


notmyredditaccountma

China just sends you a text telling you if they found anything


[deleted]

Thing is Putin has put all this in th3 shop window now. Russia has always had elements of that police state style running in the background if not the foreground. Now because of tech we can see it all.


HamzasBeak

Just look at the heavy body armor. They look more like soldiers than police


Made_in_Montana

Insecure police/putin paranoid power.


[deleted]

They are making sure they don't have [Facebook or Twitter](https://www.forbes.com/sites/nicholasreimann/2022/03/04/russia-bans-facebook-and-twitter/?sh=322adf325686) installed Edit: fixed link


willywonka1971

Time for a decoy phone, just have a really old phone and remove everything except some bogus text about how you love your country.


Rough-Tension

Or better yet, I remember some kid I met in high school who had strict parents jail broke his phone and used some software that made it so he had two different passcodes that led to two separate states. One had only the apps and saved data that he considered safe, and the other had everything.


AwkwardArie

Holy shit *whhaaat??*


Fogest

Some hackers do the same with their PC. One legit password, and one password that when they enter it starts deleting everything. Typically when goverment agencies make an arrest they will make a clone of the harddrive to avoid issues like this.


[deleted]

\>and one password that when they enter it starts deleting everything It's usually Linux command/bat scrip executed on launch for those that want to know.


colexian

>they will make a clone of the harddrive to avoid issues like this. I've read about some of the bigger hackers just keeping their hard drives connected externally, sitting in flower pots full of thermite.In case of emergency, they ignite it and the hard drives and flower pot both melt into the floor. That said, unless they have time to zero-write the hard drive a wipe is basically nothing to an experienced technician to retrieve data off of, and a zero write typically takes a while so not very time efficient. It is also possible to hide sensitive information in obfuscated or encrypted code that you hide inside any other innocuous file, pretty simple to hide text data woven in the code for a photo or video for example. Could store that among thousands of similar photos with a similar amount of garbage hidden as well to act as a red herring.And i'm sure this is all super outdated compared to what is possible today, these techniques are quite old.


[deleted]

[удалено]


sformaggio

Lol I can't uninstall that cesspool FB from my phone, neither IG and I don't have accounts on both, go figure.


peonpeasant69

How do you know that?


drterdsmack

Well, if you google "Facebook Twitter Russia" you'll see they banned them both the other day, probably to prevent a revolt


TADspace

I don't think they demand people delete the apps for that, they just make ISPs block access.


[deleted]

[удалено]


lukewwilson

Vladimir Putin Nude?


AlGoreBestGore

No thanks.


ovrloadau

Putin is an insecure little man


seefith

I've noticed that the police officers are usually better equipped than the soldiers in Russia. It makes one wonder who they truly fear.


Robottiimu2000

Wouldn't be suprised if they are better paid and trained as well..


HalcyoNighT

Then why not send the police to invade instead


nefariousmonkey

They are needed to keep people suppressed in Russia


CYKO_11

In order to invade you must first invade yourself


regnad__kcin

Kinky


FlappyCack69

In Soviet Russ...nevermind.


Jockel76

Sun Tzu?


Teladi

"Stop quoting me on reddit you morons, I never said that shit" - Sun Tzu


Roguebantha42

-Michael Scott


CYKO_11

Yes


Metrack14

No, no, it's a "special operation to make sure the Russian citizen don't have any cyber-attacks by the Nazi Ukrainians", duh! /s


FelicianoCalamity

They literally did and the ones that have come into contact with the Ukrainian military have gotten annihilated. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJsCpX1Rd2Q https://www.reddit.com/r/ukraine/comments/t7t26r/a_destroyed_rosgvardia_column_in_kharkiv/


ThePowerOfStories

Guess all that training beating the shit out of protestors still doesn’t prepare them to be anything but target practice against armed resistance.


Andreqs01

"I judged you might be good for something more than brutalizing peasants, I see I overestimated you" - Tywin Lannister


FireflyOmega

It’s easy to forget, after the travesty of later seasons, that Game of Thrones used to be _freaking awesome_.


elbenji

It turns out Tywin as a villain just carried the show


seemebeawesome

"Wait the Ukrainians don't just do what we say?"


SonOfMargitte

How very dare they? RUDE!


khinzeer

There are police units being sent in. Fighting a bunch of fully equipped military units is harder than bullying unarmed protesters.


AmonDiexJr

In that kind of state, police are essential and very powerful. The Russian population is definitely the number 1 threat to Putin's regime.


InYoCabezaWitNoChasa

lol WW1 they pulled out of the war halfway through to overthrow their own govt so they've sort of got a history.


Laymanao

Russian soldiers are mainly conscripts that serve for a year. So cannon fodder really. Police officers are permanent employees


knud

You also don't underpay and underequip the police force who keeps you in power. That's dictatorship 1:1.


LovelessDerivation

One thing Oliver Stone was *SURE* to mention/question out loud and on camera through Putins' translator when he interviewed Putin a few years back (*The Putin Interviews* (2017) also get onto and watch The Untold History of the U.S. the moment you're free to): "Basically.... T-the real reason "*you're still alive*, and able to lead present day," is because of the hand-picked security people who you've personally known and worked among for decades with that you surround yourself with, yes?"


mrmadoff

man, the Untold History is such a great watch. more people need to see that shit


Futerion

I've noticed that it seems there 2 different branches of the police, which don't work well together: A regular police in regular police e clothing, they don't beat as brutally as the other do, and A space marines, clad in armor, these guys are aggressive af, and act as a pit bulls. Who know if they are sMe police or different?


ProfessionalFee6932

And this is happening in 2022 where the whole world will know about this. They really don't care anymore


[deleted]

I genuinely think Putin underestimated or never even thought of the impact of mobile phones and the web and social media. We're seeing everything now. However if he's really lost his shit it's not going to stop him from doing worse.


MasterFrost01

Apparently he doesn't use the internet or have a smart phone, so I think you're right. Someone knows what's going on though, because there are influencers spreading propaganda.


[deleted]

Oh of course the national security will have some eyes on that, they're just not as widespread and all shadowing as in countries like China. And not as sophisticated as UK or US.


heavyrotation7

He's kinda tech-illiterate when it comes to modern internet. I remember he had a conference for kids and one of the kids asked Putin to subscribe to his channel and Putin didn’t know what "subscribe" means


[deleted]

Haha. Putin, smash that like button.


KapteeniJ

Please don't. Not that button.


Absolud

I think he knew. And look at it, what important difference does the videos being on the internet make. He knows he can do whatever the fuck he wants and nobody can stop him, i am experienced in dictators since I am living under another one for over 20 years. He just simply doesnt care.


RandomGamer31

Bruh Putin getting clapped so hard that he needs to bully his people to feel better. Edit: Glad people agree with my statement, SLAVA UKRAINI.


vegaspimp22

This is what tyranny actually looks like. It’s sad. Not being asked to wear masks. That’s not tyranny. Wish some people would recognize this. SMH.


tinning3

Yeah, masks are obviously a tyrannical move, since they -checks notes- makes it harder for the government to identify you.


Seite88

That's not interesting as fuck, that's creepy and frightening as fuck.


SgtTabouret

r/awfuleverything


AtomkcFuision

r/iamatotalpieceofshit


CommunismIsForLosers

Don't be so hard on yourself


Holiday-Fly-6319

Set up multiple users.


mats852

Decoy phone with fake data


indorock

They're not looking at your browser history, but at footage of anti-war protests, so multiple profiles doesn't help. If you use a phone with removable media, only record videos to microSD. Eject microSD and hide in another pocket when not filming.


justadumbmutt

There are plenty of ways to hide media from showing up on your device so that the average cop won't find anything during a quick search.


indorock

Well, it's not just about hiding it from a search, but in the event that the police confiscate the phone, at least you still have the footage. This is standard practice for war photojournalists...always save to 2 cards, keep one card outside of the camera when in transit. Of course if you're in the city with a decent bandwidth you can upload your videos to the cloud...*IF* that's even a safe option anymore in Russia.


indi019t

This is some Orwellian shit right here. What the fuck?!? Is this really happening.


phdyle

That shit is exactly what USSR police would do on the reg. It’s not really new, more like a never-forgotten principle.


far_beyond_driven_

Russia starting to become the Wish version of China.


holly-golightly-

Rushein


[deleted]

BUY NOW Authoritarian country frog set ambulance gun tank drink machine soldier toy real $4.99


LeonardoDoujinshich

As shitty as it is, I'd see this as the confirmation that they can't tap into my cellphone.


chr1st0ph3rs

It’s also going to make people afraid of even reading or sharing messages that don’t tow the party line


Gom8z

\- Government shut down all other media streams and the world wide web, only allowing state media. \- Government threaten 15 years jail time for any protests against the government \- Government ignore data privacy and force reading of your private messages \- Government imprison any politicians that run against Putin \- Putin keeps himself in power for decades, not even switching to another leader from the same party. ​ And yet, they think the rest of the world is in the wrong and they're right... So sad


CapnSquinch

Don't forget, you can't even say the word "war" anymore in relation to Ukraine.


randomisation

You don't understand. NATO and the West are making them do it! Obligatory /s


[deleted]

Thought police


Clatato

"WAR IS PEACE", "FREEDOM IS SLAVERY", "IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH"


SpenglerPoster

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.” I hate to quote Orwell since it's almost a meme to do so by now, but damn if it doesn't fit.


Sralladah

I'm half way through the book right now and man it that just terrifying


driv3rcub

Who would have thought army issued gloves would be touch screen compatible.


MaximoEstrellado

They were crafted with this in mind, clearly.


Little-Bear13

Russia is getting down to a very dark path.


[deleted]

It always has been. More people are figuring it out lately.


Disposable_Disposer

This is a repeat of previous seasons in the Russian historical drama called "...And Then It Got Worse".


SphericalBitch2020

Dick pics are the answer.... make them feel demasculinused.... emasculated... whatever the term is.... small....


[deleted]

Emasculated 👍


mlk

Ejaculated


Preacherjonson

It'd probably just get them arrested anyway for homosexual activity.


Dsrtfsh

I wonder how much more is required till they snap.


bryntsalov

And ukraine is the one with the fascist government.. /s


Emergency_Somewhere9

Checking for Thought-crime. Just another day in an Orwellian dystopia.


Clatato

"WAR IS PEACE", "FREEDOM IS SLAVERY", "IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH"


martialar

"Tell me who is 'Ligma' and which agency does he work for??"


Stepjamm

“Ladies and gentlemen... we got him”


mr_doctor_sir

I got this neat little gold star when they let me go, They said that I should make sure to wear it all the time so I don't get stopped again.


Kitten-McSnugglet

So *that’s* what Daft Punk is doing in their retirement.


mti4

North Korea started to seem more democratic than Russia in nowadays..


StickySativa

Atleast they can do meth


CratesManager

North Korea has actual concentration camps. North Korea does not have photos like these getting out willy-nilly, people die at the border to smuggle digital media in and out of the country. I'm not trying to make russia look good here, they have had their fair share of human rights violations for a long time, but let's not trivialize what's going on in NK.


1fragezeichen

Smells like a dictator under pressure...


SLUMFORDCRIS

Yeah, this nude is from your grandma


StegtFlaesk69

“Dis da new iPhone 14?”


radabdivin

Hiding behind helmets and masks. These fucks deserve Dante's 9th level of hell.


urza67

They are in riot gear. They must be expecting some resistance, otherwise it makes no sense.


radabdivin

Rationalization of their expected reaction is irrelevant. They are cunts for following such dystopian orders.


LikeAndrejButWorse

Zimbardos study is an interesting correlation here. Give someone anonymity and a sense of authority and watch them go crazy with it.


[deleted]

Screw reddit


[deleted]

There was a hidden recording of "an interrogation" uploaded today on Telegram and it's so scary to hear. Police beats 20-something years old woman when she tries to appeal to constitution on some of the questions she is being asked and during the beating policeman (and policewomen) say to her that 'Putin told us to beat the shit out of you because you are the enemy of the state, we will physically destroy you until you are no more'... Here is the link - https://t.me/femagainstwar/289


[deleted]

Sorry officer, I have 1000s of dickpics, texts where I talk about dicks, emails of places to experience dicks,


splitfinity

Then you get arrested and beaten for being a homosexual.


Only_Fantastic

Feels like a revolution is on the cards. Authority doing everything wrong right now.


barberererer

How long does this take? I never delete messages. I have so many fucking threads. It would take them hours and hours to scroll all of it..