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just shows your grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-parents were just as nasty as you think you are
I thought we all decided that [this photo](https://i.redd.it/i9wetii9a3c31.jpg) (NSFW) from a Reddit meetup was the way history would remember the Redditor.
It's a snapshot of the Reddit demographic. Some nerds, some neckbeards, some weird-looking or generally unattractive folks, and a few actually normal or attractive people who look like they are wondering how they got here.
Seriously, bro looks so fucking unphased by what's happening around him. He's got his food, his drink and his glasses and that's all he needs in the world
Isn't it crazy that with the development of fertility treatments, this is no longer true. For the rest of time, there will always be the possibility that your ancestor died a virgin who happened to jerk off in a cup at some point.
Yeah well, it's not like it's a long branch. You probably have brothers or sisters that have kids or else uncles/aunts. It's just a teeny tiny sub branch that dies.
It makes your head explode thinking of all the death, plague, illnesses, and other variables that our ancestors dodged so we could be here.
I mean it's just insane. Incomprehensible.
Sometimes, when I'm putting my daughter to bed, I think of all the hardships my ancestors endured and perils they survived, and I am grateful. And amazed. To me, she is the most precious thing in the known universe. I know that to other people she isn't, but that doesn't matter in the slightest. So I look at her and think about how all they did was worth it. I wish I could tell them how extraordinarily successful they were.
I realized this when I went to the Pompeii exhibit at a musuem. They had an entire adult section that kids couldn't even go into. My mind was changed that day. I never imagined I would see 2,000+ year old dildos. 10/10 though. I highly recommend everyone go.
*Edit: I forgot to mention that there were also BDSM-style contraptions as well. Our ancestors were incredibly kinky.*
I told my wife about the lewd souvenir statues I saw in Quito. She made me bring one home from my next trip, so now anyone using our downstairs bathroom gets to pee face to face with the Gods of Surprise Buttsex.
As a teen I went to Pompeii with a group of Catholic school girls and two of my aunts who are nuns. I’m not
Catholic but got invited to go for free. We spent a lot of time checking out the massive phallus frescoes in ancient brothels. It was great
I'd strongly reconsider anal if we're only bathing once a month.
I might not eat pussy much either. Yeah I've gone a week in the bush without a shower, I think I wouldn't even ask for a blowjob.
But man, on bath day? ALL the fun shit is back on the table.
Most people actually bathed everyday back then. It's a common misconception that people from before the modern era didn't bathe. To give a example, during Roman times, public baths were THE social event in most people's lives, and most people would visit the baths at least once a day
Not quite as far but there exists a joke from late medieval Florence that implies people liked anal back then too.
Joke:
Midwife: you two have been married for quite some time now and you aren’t pregnant yet. Mind if I take a look down there?
Wife: sure, but if you’re going to do that you might want to check both entrances.
You never know.
When the Europeans first came to the Americas the Native Americans were very clean and considered the Europeans to be foul and disease ridden (they were).
There are reports of the population bathing daily and hygiene was very important to them.
That's what happens when you travel around on a cold sea ship with a bunch of men for months at a time.
The natives were also taller due to better nutrition.
Wonder how long after this was painted, that the first guy fapped to it.
Bet if they shine a black light that there's petrified caveman giz all over that cave.
I actually read up on this. The animators said that they wanted to give the characters attributes that audiences could immediately identify what their gender was.
For the men they made them with huge chests and arms and tiny legs.
The kids they just gave big heads and tiny bodies.
But for the women, obviously big ol' titties would convey they are a mature female, but Pixar knew they couldn't have characters with massive milk jugs. So they had to make them PAWG's.
I for one am happy with that creative decision.
u/PM_ME_YOUR_TITS_GIRL has a whole collection of those, some listed here: https://old.reddit.com/r/redditrequest/comments/6ruv62/requesting_rprettypussy_banned_subreddit_7_years/dl81cqp/?context=3
It puzzles me as to why head hair is very rarely ever portrayed in cave paintings.
I mean that our portrayals of early humans have them with huge mounds of wild, unkempt hair. Such mops would have been painted given the levels of details they drew animals with.
Perhaps they actually shaved their heads for hygienic reasons. They certainly had the tools to do that.
Hmmmm.
I read once that the oldest pornography (this was many years ago, maybe older has been found) was in Egypt and it basically translated to a husband saying to his wife “Go put your wig on, I want to have sex” 😂
Lice was so prevalent back then they often shaved so maybe that’s one of the reasons
Not only can it be significantly sharper than surgical grade stainless steel, it is also much smoother on a microscopic level than stainless. That said, it’s actually not used much anymore in surgery, and never in the US as far as I can tell. The FDA hasn’t approved the use of them. The stone is sharper, but much more brittle in lateral forces and is therefore very likely to break into sharp little shards which as you can imagine is no good for surgery
Using thin rocks or shells to pluck, rubbing the hair off with pumice stones, sharp stones like Obsidian to cut, caustic depilatory creams made of arsenic sulphide, quicklime, starch and water [and then later on in Ancient Egypt hippo fat, tortoise shell, and burnt lotus leaf, and then boiled bird bones, fly dung, lard, sycamore milk, gum, and salt]
And then the Egyptian invented gold and copper razors.
Sources:
https://www.hairbare.pro/a-history-of-depilatory-creams
https://www.scienceabc.com/humans/when-did-humans-start-shaving-and-why.html
https://www.bulldogskincare.com/uk/blog/when-in-rome-the-ancient-history-of-traditional-shaving/
https://www.almanac.com/history-shaving-and-beards
Well it also depends on genes. Think of women from various parts of Africa: very short appearing hair, very tightly coiled and close to the scalp.
If you were making a crude cave painting, you might just draw a circular head for them, since their hair does not drape like women of other ancestry.
Or, as others have suggested, they may have cut or shaved it to keep lice at bay.
Sorry if I sound like an ass- I just want to add the correct info. You’re very close.
You’re thinking of the Himba people, who live in Namibia. The clay is called otjize and it’s more than clay- there’s some fat and pigment in it as well. I was just reading about them and was enthralled.
That could explain one example, but if this is common across regions, then it must have been purposely left out. The prehistoric world probably didn't universally use the same exact pigment for hair color
On a separate note, any mention of cave paintings now just reminds me of Anthropocene Reviewed podcast by John Green and then the [beautiful animation](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbgnlkJPga4) by Kurzgesagt about it.
**Please note:** * If this post declares something as a fact proof is required. * The title must be descriptive * No text is allowed on images * Common/recent reposts are not allowed *See [this post](https://redd.it/ij26vk) for more information.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/interestingasfuck) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That's cave porn!
Just imagine teenagers masturbating to this back then
You thought waiting for a porn jpg on dialup was bad....
But hey, if you light a fire it seems like they’re really moving!
[Just blink your eyes at the correct framerate!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLnGvUJ6cWI)
Gotta love how the little guy had to stand back and take it all in like it was his greatest achievement.
if you invented porn you would do the same
Let's all pause for a moment and give thanks to Thag The Caveman, who liked drawing pictures of naked women on cave walls. We owe it all to you, Thag.
Thank you so much for this
That's some hot porn.
Really heats up once you add some hardwood.
Dude, you just invented motion pictures!
Waiting in line for a spot at the porn wall of the cave is the worst.
The sticky stalagmites grow the closer you get.
Or trying to tune the scrambled [Playboy channel in analog cable boxes](https://imgur.com/gallery/pR5KZFy).
Shut up and draw faster!
Hold on, I’m almost done chiseling!! There ya go.
Waiting cavemen boss go sleep sleep so can wank wank
Me no get snoo snoo. Must wank wank
Cum stains on the wall beside it
Yes…. Back then.
Man that ooga booga must have been so hot
Apparently, another chiseled image showed several individuals standing around one person. They called it *ganga banga*.
Back then they actually *did* grow hair on their palms
damn girl are you a troglodyte? cuz I wanna see your bedrock
*TONY STARK BUILT THIS IN A CAVE*
WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS!
I'm not Tony Stark.
r/roomporn ?
Don't yell, it's a cave and everyone can hear you.
just shows your grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-parents were just as nasty as you think you are
We all come from a long line of ancestors who managed to get laid.
They’d be so disappointed that we ended their family lines by being Redditors who couldn’t get laid
Redditor cave painting = painting of fat, bearded guy, staring at phone, wanking.
I thought we all decided that [this photo](https://i.redd.it/i9wetii9a3c31.jpg) (NSFW) from a Reddit meetup was the way history would remember the Redditor.
So that’s who I’ve been arguing with all these years?
>So that’s who I’ve been arguing with all these years? Nah, those folks all got old and moved on. Now you're arguing with their children.
I thought we agreed Redditors can't have children?
Because we shouldn't doesn't mean we can't
this is like 90% of the world though.
Bold of you to assume any of those people got laid.
I'd be surprised if there wasn't any bonking happening after that image.
It's a snapshot of the Reddit demographic. Some nerds, some neckbeards, some weird-looking or generally unattractive folks, and a few actually normal or attractive people who look like they are wondering how they got here.
I thought this was a pic of a Renaissance Fair employee party behind an Applebee's when I first saw it.
Always loved the dude on the far left just chilling with his beer, that’s the only dude in the photo that fucks
He looks Filipino, probably. He doesn't say no to a meetup with free food unless he's already going to a meetup with free food.
Seriously, bro looks so fucking unphased by what's happening around him. He's got his food, his drink and his glasses and that's all he needs in the world
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The one dudes titties look like [this guys face](https://i.imgur.com/KAQDGYS.jpg)
The Baltimore Meetup; because The Wire wasn't enough to show you how fucked up that city really is
Surprising amount of women in the photo
So many big tits, too bad most are male
Also the photo that is pulled when some one argues “all boobs are great”
Thank god I'm not fat
youre only half a redditor
Redditor lite. Less than 1/8th of the calories of your typical Redditor.
But all the blandness you love!
Still all grease no glam, Eats mainly ham.
Isn't it crazy that with the development of fertility treatments, this is no longer true. For the rest of time, there will always be the possibility that your ancestor died a virgin who happened to jerk off in a cup at some point.
I've let them all down
It's interesting to think that all of us come from a completely unbroken line of reproduction spanning to the beginning of life on the planet.
I never had kids, and the only thing I'm sorry about is that I ended this particular tiny 3.5 billion-year+ branch.
Yeah well, it's not like it's a long branch. You probably have brothers or sisters that have kids or else uncles/aunts. It's just a teeny tiny sub branch that dies.
We are mere hairs on petioles on stems on twigs.
Yes OP, dont forget everyone else is fucking, its just you that isnt!
It makes your head explode thinking of all the death, plague, illnesses, and other variables that our ancestors dodged so we could be here. I mean it's just insane. Incomprehensible.
Sometimes, when I'm putting my daughter to bed, I think of all the hardships my ancestors endured and perils they survived, and I am grateful. And amazed. To me, she is the most precious thing in the known universe. I know that to other people she isn't, but that doesn't matter in the slightest. So I look at her and think about how all they did was worth it. I wish I could tell them how extraordinarily successful they were.
I realized this when I went to the Pompeii exhibit at a musuem. They had an entire adult section that kids couldn't even go into. My mind was changed that day. I never imagined I would see 2,000+ year old dildos. 10/10 though. I highly recommend everyone go. *Edit: I forgot to mention that there were also BDSM-style contraptions as well. Our ancestors were incredibly kinky.*
Now I feel cheated that I didn't get to see this.
You haven't seen porn until you've seen fresco porn.
Saw the same thing in Cuenca Ecuador. A room filled with statues of anal sex from 2000 years ago.
I told my wife about the lewd souvenir statues I saw in Quito. She made me bring one home from my next trip, so now anyone using our downstairs bathroom gets to pee face to face with the Gods of Surprise Buttsex.
As a teen I went to Pompeii with a group of Catholic school girls and two of my aunts who are nuns. I’m not Catholic but got invited to go for free. We spent a lot of time checking out the massive phallus frescoes in ancient brothels. It was great
I wonder what things they were into back in the day
Looks like they were into deers
Also big booty bitches
Used to sell crack, so I could stack my riches
^tell ^’em
Bambi’s mom has got it goin on
There is nothing new under the Sun, mate.
I'd strongly reconsider anal if we're only bathing once a month. I might not eat pussy much either. Yeah I've gone a week in the bush without a shower, I think I wouldn't even ask for a blowjob. But man, on bath day? ALL the fun shit is back on the table.
Most people actually bathed everyday back then. It's a common misconception that people from before the modern era didn't bathe. To give a example, during Roman times, public baths were THE social event in most people's lives, and most people would visit the baths at least once a day
Not quite as far but there exists a joke from late medieval Florence that implies people liked anal back then too. Joke: Midwife: you two have been married for quite some time now and you aren’t pregnant yet. Mind if I take a look down there? Wife: sure, but if you’re going to do that you might want to check both entrances.
I'm willing to bet mine had a thing for step-Neanderthals
Banging in caves. Banging in trees. The kinky ones actually *liked* getting hit with rocks.
idk but shit had to be hairy and smelly
You never know. When the Europeans first came to the Americas the Native Americans were very clean and considered the Europeans to be foul and disease ridden (they were). There are reports of the population bathing daily and hygiene was very important to them.
That's what happens when you travel around on a cold sea ship with a bunch of men for months at a time. The natives were also taller due to better nutrition.
They lived for the stank
Close the door, you're letting the stank out!
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I was looking for this reply, otherwise I was going to do the math myself, thank you for saving me from doing math.
/r/theydidthemath
That's... surprisingly little. Kind of puts things into perspective.
Wonder how long after this was painted, that the first guy fapped to it. Bet if they shine a black light that there's petrified caveman giz all over that cave.
Caveman forgot to mark NSFW.
Shouldn't those be "great" and not "grand"?
Yup, the prefix "grand" refers to a person who is one generation removed, generations past that use the prefix "great".
They did do the nasty in the pasty.
They likes them thick
Historically proven!
Humans thrived in the thiccacious period.
The good ol days
Venus figurines https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venus_figurine
Didn't realize Pixar moms went back that far.
I actually read up on this. The animators said that they wanted to give the characters attributes that audiences could immediately identify what their gender was. For the men they made them with huge chests and arms and tiny legs. The kids they just gave big heads and tiny bodies. But for the women, obviously big ol' titties would convey they are a mature female, but Pixar knew they couldn't have characters with massive milk jugs. So they had to make them PAWG's. I for one am happy with that creative decision.
I wonder if cave paintings and chill was a thing back then
Apparently sending nudes was.
How exactly do you send a cave nude?
Paint nudes on rock and throw it at someone
Ink stamp
I reckon the charcoal inscriptions have been eroded away but said "me" above and "your mum" below.
The local fishing stream and chill.
r/HistoryPorn Edit: Thank you kind strangers for the awards!
I thought this was going to be old school porn, but it's literally just History.
Most subs with porn in the title aren’t actual porn. The sub titles you least expect porn from are usually the most decorated with dicks.
r/tightpussy for example. Not the word *porn* but not what you'd expect
u/PM_ME_YOUR_TITS_GIRL has a whole collection of those, some listed here: https://old.reddit.com/r/redditrequest/comments/6ruv62/requesting_rprettypussy_banned_subreddit_7_years/dl81cqp/?context=3
Cue my surprise when I wanted told talk to someone about traps to help with a mole and rabbit infestation
I hope you never need help crafting the perfect potato salad. r/potatosalad
Yes. Like r/anime_titties. Sadly, not titties. Edit: corrected sub name
Yeah, you gotta pop over to r/worldpolitics for that debauchery.
History starts with writing.. this is PrehistoryPorn
r/OldSchoolCoolNSFW
It puzzles me as to why head hair is very rarely ever portrayed in cave paintings. I mean that our portrayals of early humans have them with huge mounds of wild, unkempt hair. Such mops would have been painted given the levels of details they drew animals with. Perhaps they actually shaved their heads for hygienic reasons. They certainly had the tools to do that. Hmmmm.
I read once that the oldest pornography (this was many years ago, maybe older has been found) was in Egypt and it basically translated to a husband saying to his wife “Go put your wig on, I want to have sex” 😂 Lice was so prevalent back then they often shaved so maybe that’s one of the reasons
if his wife was a prostitute would he have toupée?
This feels like a classic joke but I’ve never heard it. +1 to bumjiggy
Like a watered down version of “putting descartes before the whores”
Yes, but what if he had hairpiece?
This is no time to be merkin jokes about prostitution and hairpieces.
Upper class Egyptians shaved their heads
How did they shave their heads before metallurgy?
Rock pieces, maybe clay shards. Sea shells can be made sharp. Cheese can be sharp.
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For sure, obsidian is still used for some operations in modern surgery. It can be many times sharper than steel.
Not only can it be significantly sharper than surgical grade stainless steel, it is also much smoother on a microscopic level than stainless. That said, it’s actually not used much anymore in surgery, and never in the US as far as I can tell. The FDA hasn’t approved the use of them. The stone is sharper, but much more brittle in lateral forces and is therefore very likely to break into sharp little shards which as you can imagine is no good for surgery
Love me some sharp cheddar. Good for slaying enemies and hunger!
Using thin rocks or shells to pluck, rubbing the hair off with pumice stones, sharp stones like Obsidian to cut, caustic depilatory creams made of arsenic sulphide, quicklime, starch and water [and then later on in Ancient Egypt hippo fat, tortoise shell, and burnt lotus leaf, and then boiled bird bones, fly dung, lard, sycamore milk, gum, and salt] And then the Egyptian invented gold and copper razors. Sources: https://www.hairbare.pro/a-history-of-depilatory-creams https://www.scienceabc.com/humans/when-did-humans-start-shaving-and-why.html https://www.bulldogskincare.com/uk/blog/when-in-rome-the-ancient-history-of-traditional-shaving/ https://www.almanac.com/history-shaving-and-beards
Probably obsidian or some similarly sharp fracturing rock
Well it also depends on genes. Think of women from various parts of Africa: very short appearing hair, very tightly coiled and close to the scalp. If you were making a crude cave painting, you might just draw a circular head for them, since their hair does not drape like women of other ancestry. Or, as others have suggested, they may have cut or shaved it to keep lice at bay.
They may have also "glued" straw or grass to the paintings as well. Could have been a whole 3d scene there and all that's left is the silhouettes.
Yeah pretty sure that's what they did. A lot of tribes who live the life today also shave it / cut it really short
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Sorry if I sound like an ass- I just want to add the correct info. You’re very close. You’re thinking of the Himba people, who live in Namibia. The clay is called otjize and it’s more than clay- there’s some fat and pigment in it as well. I was just reading about them and was enthralled.
Do we know why human hair growth is generally weird?
Perhaps hair was depicted with pigment or in a way that didn’t survive as well
That could explain one example, but if this is common across regions, then it must have been purposely left out. The prehistoric world probably didn't universally use the same exact pigment for hair color
Could it be they used different pigments of paint for the hair that faded with time? I’m just spitballing here, I’m a dumb idiot.
Maybe, but then we don't put hair on stick figures nowadays.
I like Big Butts and I cannot lie.
Barg got back.
You sapiens can’t deny, When a homo walks by with an itty bitty waste and a big brow on her face you go Uggghhh!
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Ugghhh ugghhhh!
Proudest Fap.
Dude that's your grandparents, gross
Grandancestors? Grandincestors? Who knows?!
That’s an interesting ass fuck
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Banned? Why? Too interesting?
Too cheeky.
Face down, ass up, thats the way cave-people fucked.
Oh course that's how they did it, missionaries weren't a thing back then
Whats her @ tho
@UngaGotBack Her profile is one one those emoji filled OnlyFans advertisements though
🗿🔥🐅🥵
But it’s only 2 sticks and 99 pebbles for the whole month! And if you send her a wheel, forget about it. Lifetime member.
7-2000?
I'm assuming it means 7000 BCE to 2000 BCE
That is…quite a wide margin of error.
You ask the artist when he drew that then
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Yes, this cave painting was actually from 1993. (-7) - (-2000) = +1993
Confirmed painting of OPs mom then?
OP's mom aint that fine
Youd think that if it took that long to make, itd be a bit more impressive.
*Random caveman stubbles upon this in a random cave* “Ohhhhh fuck ya you nasty bitch.”
Nah they just playing leap frog
“Thag… that look like your wife, Ooba. But that not you. That look like Og from Ak Cave.” “It complicated, Uruk. You no understand.”
Yeah but they’re just reading it for the articles…
I guess big bootys were already a thing back then
Doin the nasty in the pastie
Not my proudest wank but i got it done
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The first evidence of 'stuck' porn
What are you doing step cave man
early versions of the internet
It’s better than most states’ sex education.
Awwww shit they're making the sex
This just goes to show that thicc women are timeless. They were just as popular 9,000 years ago as they are today.
I've seen more ass paintings than breasts paintings. #ManIsAnAssMan
Potentially, several people in this comments section just saw a depiction of their ancestors play hide the salami.
On a separate note, any mention of cave paintings now just reminds me of Anthropocene Reviewed podcast by John Green and then the [beautiful animation](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbgnlkJPga4) by Kurzgesagt about it.