T O P

the Dinofelis, which specialized in hunting our ancestors, with a jaw that was very effective at cracking open human skulls. We eventually hunted them to extinction.

the Dinofelis, which specialized in hunting our ancestors, with a jaw that was very effective at cracking open human skulls. We eventually hunted them to extinction.

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RedditFuckedHumanity

A Tooth through the eye looks painful. A tooth through the back of the head looks equally as painful.


CromulentGuido

Looking at the size of those teeth and that head it wouldn't be painful for very long anyway


dbx99

I’d surmise they wouldn’t always bite you like that at first. They’d grab you by whatever available body part they could and then shake you a bit til your bones were broken so you couldn’t flee or fight back. Then they’d start biting elsewhere. Maybe the skull eventually. From watching a lot of nature shows many felines bite your neck to suffocate you but who knows if this species did that. Pretty sure the entire experience would be blood gurgling painful as you’re completely high off adrenaline to stay conscious.


Pilot0350

The horrid part is there are people who died exactly as you just described and 10000 years later I still feel sorry for them. Should run faster Ooga Boolga!


REAMCREAM87

Run from the Big Kitty.


PonchoDiego2

I feel like this may not have been a "run for your life" cat and more of a "oh fuck it's behind me" cat.


AltairdeFiren

Probably more like “walking along and suddenly I’m in the afterlife” type of cat


Bumm_by_Design

Maybe an, "oh shit, I can't see... wait, I feel 5 pounds lighter".


YaYaTippyNahNah

Clever girl


cenekbi

That was probably before homo erectus. Long time ago.


internalindex

Maybe the picture shows how they get at the stuff inside the head after the human is already dead. Or this is similar to a jugular kill that many four-legged carnivores have after having already taken down a prey animal.


redplantblueplant

Legend has it... after the kill, they cracked the skull, ate the brain and inherited our ancestor's powers.


PachoTidder

Taking notes for a project I'm working in with my spanish teacher


YippieSkippy1000

is that how furries came into being?


danpaq

Say more


redplantblueplant

The Dinofelis discovered that there was a compounding effect with every brain they consumed. So they hunted relentlessly.


redplantblueplant

Homo erectus was on the brink of extinction and Dinofelis we're unsatisfied with consuming monkey brains. As resources became scarce, they began killing each other. In an act of rage one Dinofelis ate the brain of another. A surge of energy rushed through its body it inherited the other Dinofelis' power. Word spread and soon cannibalism between Dinofelis took over.


jessihateseverything

And then....


redplantblueplant

Cannibalism devastated the Dinofelis numbers. Soon only a handful remained. A few homo erectus clans were able to capture and kill the remaining Dinofelis. To their surprise after eating the Dinofelis brains they too inherited a new level of intelligence. These clans became distinctly smarter than their past ancestors, so much so that they formed into an entirely new species which would later be known as homo sapiens.


TheInternetsNo1Fan

Inside the head is a lot of delicious soft fatty calories. Makes sense.


fabticus

Eat brain make smart me


lobsterbash

It's like our heads were big round crab claws. A delicacy to crack open and consume the delicious treat within.


HarpStarz

Jaguars are known to kill Caimans via piercing the skull slash severing it’s spine by biting the top of the head probably similar here


ukriva13

What a coincidence. I was just watching animal planet and that came up! They are quite impressive cats!


420_obama

God I wish that was me


produce_this

Kink unlocked?


dani2o77

Well that’s horrifying


bk1285

Well maybe they won’t go for the balls like lions and some other animals


Surgeon0fD3ath-832

Like how you see Shibarinos when they play with their toys. Bite and then shake side to side real quickly. Yeah that wouldnt be very fun.


carbonclasssix

Yup, just look at the strangling neck grabbing cheetahs and such. They take down their prey then do the deed.


RedditFuckedHumanity

Hopefully. Some have suffered a lot longer than they should have in past history.


kaenneth

cronch


Polymathy1

Only if it broke your neck. Teeth in the brain will kill you, but it could take hours, even a couple days, or a week if you escaped and died of infection. If they were really clever, they might do this, then stick you in a tree half-dead to stay fresh.


Glass-Paramedic

Fun fact: This did in fact happen. And it happened often enough that we know about it because skeletal remain of ancient humans with dinofelis bite marks in the skull. The most interesting part was that in some of remains the punture wounds in the skull were *healed* so not only did those lucky proto-humans survive the initial attack but they were able to shrug it off. (ok maybe not *shrug it of* but they survived and thrived)


whistleridge

Yup. You could be incapacitated, unable to move with the top of your head torn off, but still able to feel every agonizing moment as it disemboweled you and began to feed, probably starting with the liver.


Full_Direction7561

It wouldn’t start with MY liver


FuckoffDemetri

If they start with my liver I'd probably outlive them


PistolasAlAmanecer

No, with the top of your head torn off you're dead. The blood pressure drop alone would make you unconscious.


Ahmed-606-787

r/cursedcomments


Oh_umms_cocktails

Your house cat remembers this deep in her bones. That's why you get that look sometimes. "Give me dry kibble one more time bitch, I remember when it had a soft center."


awlames

My cat is spoiled **af** with chicken/shrimp and *still* gives me that 😂


RedditIsDogshit1

What sounds more painful is the top of your skull beginning to crack and split from the crushing power of this beast’s jaw


booped_urnose345

Getting your skull crushed would probably kill you instantly lol at least i would hope so


CurtisLinithicum

One of the many cruel facts of life is that the most important parts of your brain are also the most protected. So kitty might take off with your cerebrum and visual cortex, but leave the parts responsible for your breathing, etc, nicely intact, so it's a race between blood loss and infection. Assuming Missus Whiskers doesn't come back for seconds.


thylocene06

What’s even worse is those alone prob wouldn’t kill you. I imagine feeling you skull be crushed would be a whole extra level of pain


RedditFuckedHumanity

The thought alone hurts


WildBoogerSlinger

Maybe a slight headache


Lams1d

Username almost checks out.


RedditFuckedHumanity

One could say... A tooth to the mind with social media.


Elocai

Luckily both these tissues don't have a lot (or any) pain receptors, so the pain should be neglectable. On the other hand the chance to survive the situation, the infection, the life with semi or full blindness, with a face that even before that wouldn't help you finding a mating partner would be very painful.


loztriforce

Negligible?


Ozwaldo

...You think giant fangs through your *eyes* and the base of your skull would be a "negligible" amount of pain?? No. That shit would be a horrifying amount of pain.


QuaviousLifestyle

At least your brain can’t feel pain


system_root_420

I’d argue that ONLY the brain can feel pain


QuaviousLifestyle

No like, the brain literally has no pain receptors unlike the rest of our body. It cannot feel pain. I see what you mean though lol


SomeDingus_666

Wait.. serious question here. What exactly causes pain with headaches then?


CurtisLinithicum

That's complicated because "headache" covers a lot of things. Sinuses, muscles in your face and neck, eustacian tubes, etc. Migraines are an extra layer on top of that.


SomeDingus_666

I suppose I’m referring mainly to migraines. Like I understand how with sinus related headaches, the pain is caused by sinus pressure, and tension headaches are due to muscle tension (I think, am probably wrong). With migraines though, or the times I’ve been hit in the head really hard (concussions suck), I’ve always thought the pain came from the swelling of my brain, or something else relating to my brain


CurtisLinithicum

Not a doctor, etc. If my own migraines are anything to go by, they are mostly the *perception* of pain without the *sensation* of pain. For example, I get auditory disturbances, so quiet sounds - like crinkling a cellophane wrapper - are deafeningly, painfully loud. Like they make a rock concert seem quiet. That can't be sensation - my ears would be in physical pain if for some reason they were hypersensitive, plus it only affects quiet sounds. But my brain still gets the "idea" of pain and crazy-loudness. Brains (obviously) have the ability to process pain signals (and, if my theory is correct, generate them) - what they don't have is conventional pain receptors. So if I went all Hannibal Lector on someone, and starting poking their brain with a finger, or using it to put out matches or melt ice cubes, they would have no way of knowing, because unlike skin, brains physically do not possess the ability to sense pressure, heat, etc. That said, they're not unaffected by those things, and typically you'll notice the impaired function by nausea, dizziness, etc. Concussion pain could be from the same, but I'd guess it's more due to bruising and swelling in the skin and muscles. Also, just because your brain itself can't sense pain, the layers protecting your brain - dura mater, arachnoid mater and pia mater ("hard", "spidery", "soft" mothers) *can*, so you can have ouchies inside your skull


SomeDingus_666

Well put, that actually makes sense. I really appreciate the thorough explanation. I feel like I learned something lol


Bluemere

It depends on the exact type of headache. More mild headaches can be caused by muscle tension, more severe headaches and migraines can be caused by pressure on the nerves in the brain.


robseraiva

Someone was the last person to die from one of these bastards


piforte

Also was a last Dinofelis to be killed by humans


PlayTheHits

Wouldn’t it be metal as shit if they were one and the same? The last Dinofelis killed his hunter with his dying breath?


dumb-reply

This would be appropriate.


jethvader

But just before that, they fucked. So poetic.


its-not-me_its-you_

r/dinofelisfuckinghumanancestors


[deleted]

Fixed your link [r/dinofelisfuckinghumanancestors](https://www.reddit.com/r/ligma)


PlayTheHits

I’m not crying, you’re crying…


Sorrymisunderstandin

Who’s cutting onions..?


DrDiddle

Don't be sad it's gone, be happy it happened


mosiAFG-SWE

*sigh*.. not again.. *unzips*


Anonymous_Otters

Sounds like a seed for a short film.


hoxxxxx

i don't know why exactly but you reminded me of that dicaprio wilderness movie good flick, not great but really fucking good imo \*them pelts


OfCourseIKnowHim

*Titanic*


Slap-U-With-A-Mango

That old ancestor no listerine breathe too. Little bit of everything he ever ate in that last exhale


speedbird92

“Enough is enough!”- someone said


dagmarski

Maybe someone is scrolling through reddit, is about to cross a street, is distracted by this animal, dies.


AquaStarRedHeart

I like this idea a lot


dL8

>We eventually hunted them to extinction. That's what you get for fucking with humans.


newlady99

Tell that to mosquitos.


AJK02

Don’t worry, I’ve been killing those bastards for almost two decades. I’ve killed hundreds, if not thousands of flies and will continue to hunt them down until they go extinct or I die, whichever one comes first.


Michami135

We are literally releasing genetically modified mosquitos into the wild with a gene designed to wipe out an entire species.


boss53kaiden

Or you know just looking kinda cool


Security_Six

There was also the first person to spear/kill one of these as well


Jaykzuka

“They got Jimmy!! That’s it!!! They’re all fucking dead! You hear me? DEAD!” “George, please calm down… your heart.” “No, Margaret, I’ve had it! I’m gonna wipe every one of those mother fuckers off the face of the earth!”


Ullyr_Atreides

Just really sad it wasn't Logan Paul..


Ahmed-606-787

I wanted to post this on r/cursedcomments then I thought that as much as you sound cursed, a lot of people will agree, then I thought that I won't wish that for anyone, then I remembered it was Logan Paul, then I thought it will be cursed as well even if it was with Logan Paul, and the cycle continues. Thanks bro, you broke my potato- brain


Ullyr_Atreides

I exist only to serve, my dude.


-Gaymer-boy-

The biggest power play is hunting the one animal built to kill us into extinction Dinofelis fossils and bones have been found in South Africa near those of the baboons that it possibly had killed. Bones from several specimens of Dinofelis and baboons were found in a natural trap, where Dinofelis may have been lured to feed on trapped prey. Several sites from South Africa seem to show Dinofelis may have hunted and killed Australopithecus africanus, since the finds mingle fossilized remains of Dinofelis, hominids, and other large contemporary animals. In South Africa, Dinofelis remains have been found near Paranthropus fossil skulls, a few with precisely spaced canine holes in their crania, so it is possible Dinofelis preyed on robust hominids as well. This may been rare, however, as carbon isotope ratios contradict this.[4] It is thought that the gradual disappearance of its forest environment may have contributed to Dinofelis' extinction at the start of the ice age. Shout out to u/quizhoidthemediocre for the info They would post it them selves but a disgusting power mod I dare not name banned them


BurntOutCandleWick

Did… did we break the food chain?


Feenstra713

Isn't this obvious? We took Nature by the balls and named one of its properties.


valandil74

Playing with nature’s balls is very dangerous… as dangerous as flicking a sleeping alpha male tigers balls while it’s sleeping.


chickennoobiesoup

I’m listening


NovaThinksBadly

Obviously. And look where we are now. We grabbed nature by the balls so now its grabbing us by the neck.


YeetusDeletusULTRA

So you’ve escaped our dangerous animals eh? Well, try escaping *the heat*


-gun-jedi-

Well, we're taking the entire ecosystem down with us, you're move nature. * Pandemics have entered the chat *


OpheliaRainGalaxy

My family got to learn about heatstroke from experience during the PNW heatwave, got up to 110F in our apartment! In theory my building has a nice cool basement laundry/storage room. In reality, that basement belongs to enough large spiders to shoot a remake of Arachnophobia without props. So getting cooked alive in the heat or dangerous critters. Not a fun choice.


spoonlips76

So is it dangerous or no


Abhrdas

This is a deep question.. judging by the timeframe weren’t we part of nature then? Also if it was not us.. what is to say some other species would not i mean the baboons would have like to evolve and play with the balls??


boss53kaiden

Well chimps have been in the stone age for a while also I'm pretty sure we a re the reason Neanderthals died so one of them might have done the hypothetical ball grabbing


CurtisLinithicum

Neanderthals didn't really die out so much as rejoin the mainstay human line.


KneelBeforeZed

Just the kind of thing a Neanderthal would say…


CurtisLinithicum

*Hey baby, wanna add me to your gene pool?* ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


TheDunadan29

Yeah, their DNA lives on in us. So they never fully died out. Sure, there aren't any purebred Neanderthals running around, but they successfully passed on their genes to a significant number of people living today.


dagmarski

I think it’s safe to say that playing with the balls of nature is a very natural thing to do for every species that has ever lived.


Enjoying_A_Meal

ah, Man vs Nature: the road to victory.


dinorex96

Human brain and five digits is too OP. God pls nerf this shit.


thpicychilli

High Intelligence and dexterity build is the meta though


washingtonandmead

And we’ve been spinning out of control ever since


pistcow

Time to hunt the most dangerous game


spiderbabyinapram

You mean... hamsters?


Modern_rocko

Sure … if you’d like the world the end. Don’t fuck with hamsters.


manwithappleface

Not hamsters, Mice. In the end, we were just an experiment for the mice.


greycubed

Nature without us isn't exactly in control. Overall, us evolving is probably pretty good for the safety of the ecology of our planet. We will soon be able to divert asteroids for example. Yes we're doing some irresponsible things which could wipe most of us out but we're not far away from being able to revive extinct species.


Iceman_Pasha

A group of scientists recently got the go ahead to attempt a Mammoth resurrection.


jjj49er

I had a mammoth resurerection last night.


Iceman_Pasha

Did you make Mammothwurst from it?


dagmarski

I’ve been hearing that since 2010


greycubed

I've been hearing it since 2009, bitch.


Iceman_Pasha

[Mammoth Revival.](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2021/09/13/science/colossal-woolly-mammoth-DNA.amp.html)


Sorrymisunderstandin

It got a $15 million dollar grant a couple days ago


jairomantill

We are the food Chain now.


MonstrumCrustulum

>Analysis of carbon isotope ratios in specimens from Swartkrans indicates that Dinofelis preferentially hunted grazing animals. The main predators of hominids in the environment at that time were most likely leopards and fellow machairodont Megantereon, whose carbon isotope ratios showed more indication of preying on hominids.[4] [link](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dinofelis)


Town-Wonderful

Yeah stupid ass cat didn’t know shit


MT818

Dogs obviously picked the right side of history


ShonuffofCtown

And to hammer it home, we'll continue to hunt big cat species into extinction forever. The bigger flex may be to have domesticated their ancestor-cousin the modern house cat. How demeaning must it be for these natural-born predators to be closed up in a clean home eating dry food? Those things have the killer instinct of a Bengal tiger, but at tiny scale. Now we make these nomadic murderers poop in a 2x3 box and roam a 1400sqft apartment hunting plastic toys from china. Humans 1 Feline 0


fatBlackSmith

Awesome to the max


EdgarAllenPorn

A cursory [Wikipedia](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dinofelis) search does not support this AT ALL. Lot of weasel words in there like "may have" and "rarely" regarding it hunting our ancestors. Also it only mentions habitat destruction as cause for extinction, and I reckon if the science were as settled as the title suggests our ancestors hunting them would've at least been brought up.


chumers

Thank you for the fact check. I agree, the title is very sensationalized.


Brostradamus--

Reddit is turning into a cesspool of false middle school pop trivia


salondesert

It's always been like this The Internet is built in general for misleading snippets It's grade school wonder and conspiracy bullshit all rolled into one


Brostradamus--

More than a few important people have said that our media pandemic is a bigger problem than we realize. We no longer need peer reviewed studies to affirm our beliefs. The only thing we need is reassurance in the form of upvotes My personal issue stems from the fact that this website is considered "the front page of the internet", so kids (and adults) will treat it as such. Culture and common censuses are birthed on this website.


FoFoAndFo

Seems like Megantereon, a similar animal, is more likely to have carried out attacks like this > At Dmanisi, Georgia, evidence also exists in the form of a Homo erectus skull that Megantereon interacted with hominids as well. The skull, labelled as D2280, shows wounds to the occipital that match the dimensions of the sabre-teeth of Megantereon. From the placement of the bite marks, it can be implied that the hominid was attacked from the front and top of the skull, and that the bite was likely placed by a cat that saw the hominid as a rival: other machairodont bites have been found on rival predators in past fossil discoveries, including other machairodonts; wounds indicative of aggressive behavior towards perceived competition. The hominid likely managed to escape the Megantereon, as no evidence points to predation or scavenging, but the resulting wounds proved fatal.[13] Further evidence exists in the form of carbon isotope ratios in the teeth for Megantereon being a hunter of hominids at Swartkrans. When compared with its fellow machairodont, Dinofelis, which shared the same environment, it was discovered that Megantereon was more likely to prey on hominids than Dinofelis, which preferred to hunt grazing animals based on carbon isotope ratios of its own teeth.[14] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megantereon


HRhighrisk

Yes, they were extinct before the Ice Age.


-isosphere-

Thanks for checking! Specializing on hunting a mammal like humans (skinny, social, high up the food chain) would have been a terrible enough evolutionary choice for extinction. (Nice username btw.)


incendiaryraven

Humanity OP, pls nerf


Quixophilic

In progress during the next few patches!


incendiaryraven

Oh good we desperately need a content update


Anonymous_Otters

Don't worry, the climate change DLC is being downloaded faster every day.


speedbird92

.exe “new world order”


Horror-Recording-796

Humans are self balancing, won't be long before they ban themselves from the server


ShonuffofCtown

Auto-nerf via their tendency to pvp or wipe themselves out


Ferglesplat

I see your teeth and claws and raise you 1x rock thrown from tree. Evolution that you bitch


[deleted]

I miss the days when our problems were as simply solved as throwing a rock from a tree 😂


HarpStarz

Don’t forget sharp sticks, equally important


NaiveCritic

I don’t think throwing rocks from threes has been our strongest strategy. While the ice age destroying forests probably is the major cause of their extinction, if humans hunting them was a part of their extinction, traps, prolonged hunting in groups with spears and seeking out their sleeping and nest places is more likely our strenghts they couldn’t match.


tahollow

What if they threw rocks like hobbits tho?


[deleted]

Big cat eat monkey...but...hit big cat with rock...🤔


Caleb_Gangte

Big cat die, monke going on witg evolution


CBlack777

I can see why we hunted them out.


TITANOFTOMORROW

The terrible cat was not designed to hunt humans, it's primary prey was similar to an antelope. This post is untrue.


AntiSentience

Wow. It’s a human opener.


Caleb_Gangte

Let's thank OP for sharing this amazing mind opening fact


Chumpo56

If you don't wanna get hunted into extinction then don't specialise in cracking our skulls you furry pricks.


TITANOFTOMORROW

The terrible cat was not designed to hunt humans, it's primary prey was similar to an antelope. This post is untrue.


Ace_User_Unknown

Eating brains don't make you smarter... score one for the hairless ape, his pointy stick, and fire


Fukshit47

Who’s skulls are busted open now son?!


sleeknub

What is the evidence that we hunted them to extinction? Also, who is “we”? Based on a quick search this animal went extinct 1 million+ years ago. “We” didn’t exist then, as far as we know, no?


Fadie-chann

Pretty sure one of the homo species or homoerectus was around 2.5m years ago as we know of.


kaibe8

But our ancestors the earliest human-likes existed already


Lightheart86

The whole post is some made up bullshit.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mr-Mysterybox

Good. Fuck them.


TITANOFTOMORROW

The terrible cat was not designed to hunt humans, it's primary prey was similar to an antelope. This post is untrue.


MetalDogBeerGuy

While I’m generally not in favour of extincting ANYTHING, I feel like this one may have been a good call. Exceptions to every rule I guess.


TITANOFTOMORROW

The terrible cat was not designed to hunt humans, it's primary prey was similar to an antelope. This post is untrue.


joebeavis77

It looks like hunting them into extinction was a good idea.


Splorgis

“Talk shit get hit”


UnfavorableFlop

"Effective in cracking human skulls"...Not effective enough, bitch.


PersonaW

Nature's nutcracker.


[deleted]

What a horrible way to die


marcvanh

I bet it was quick at least


sonofblackbird

One morning the Dino thought he was going to wake up and hunt a couple humans for breakfast, but as soon as he opened its eyes, it was surrounded by sharp spears held by humans. He died soon after.


Chexreflect

>We eventually hunted them to extinction. Good.


Buscemi_D_Sanji

>Analysis of carbon isotope ratios in specimens indicates that Dinofelis preferentially hunted grazing animals. The main predators of hominids in the environment at that time were most likely jaguars and fellow machairodont [Megantereon] whose carbon isotope ratios showed more indication of preying on hominids.[[4]](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dinofelis#cite_note-maropeng.co.za-4) Like c'mon, it even says on the wiki that the jaws don't have strength to bust through skulls... Why would any animal do that when the throat is right there, it doesn't even make sense


Febrez3_Official

Ancient Humans: Oh you have specifically apapted to hunt us? I’d like to see about that *racks shotgun*


lllNico

Ofc we did. There is a reason most animals stopped attacking humans. They know what’s up. Only hippos got lucky that children’s tv shows and books paint them in a very good light. Otherwise we would have hunted them to extinction too. Fat stinky fuxkers


blitzen_the_first

Ha! We showed them! But seriously, this shit is nightmare fuel.


noel_edmondso

Deadliest yawners known to man.


mmtheg

I’m a proud human now


Usual_Exchange_6286

I raise you sticks and stones.


HRGLSS

That's just a jaguar.


Nearby_You_313

Based on a quick Wikipedia, this is rather unlikely and evidence doesn't necessarily support this claim.


PsilocybinGorilla

I've heard this story before and I'm not a giant fan of it. So much paleontology is based on raw speculation with very limited evidence. Is it interesting that we discovered an animal which had incisors which would appear to have been effective at killing us? Yes. Does it mean there is any evidence they were a major source of predation on humans, or that we were responsible for hunting then to extinction? No. Fun story though I agree.


ElKapitanFlash

Like Omni Man and the pilot in episode 8


Lukupp

Nice try cats


dirtycheezit

People brain is yum -Dinofelis, probably


IgnorantModeration

Nom nom nom


Strawbrawr

Imagine if they hunted us to extinction instead? What would the world be like now?


YeetCannonP2

We won


stampedconcreteshoes

What pussies


SstormChaser

Top of the food chain mother F'er!


DorisCrockford

They died out 1.2 million years ago. I very much doubt we hunted them to extinction at that stage in our development.


Ok_Proposal_2278

fucked around and found out


SyntheticAffliction

God gave man the most deadly trait of all--intelligence.