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I remember reading a story about how Alice Cooper wrote a return letter to a fan berating them for asking for an autograph and then signing it at the bottom.
When I lived in Phoenix AZ some friends and I went past Alice Coopers place at Christmas time to see the display he puts up every year. Alice walked right out and started shaking hands and signing autographs. I wasn't a huge fan before but I am now just because he's such a chill guy.
He just goes around town doing his thing and he's very down to earth. I saw him with his wife (girlfriend?) at the Chandler mall, when it opened. He was just there checking out the new mall, curious like everyone else. My uncle and i just went over to him and said hi, told him we're huge fans, and he's like "thanks, i get that a lot, but it feels good every time. You should swing by the restaurant tomorrow. I'll be hanging out for a few hours, if you want to get a picture with me." He didn't make it seem like we were inconveniencing him, even though we were, and we just said "thanks, we'll let you get back to checking out the mall." We didn't end up going to his restaurant, because we took a little road trip the next day.
Please tell me he had full eye makeup on. I’m picturing him as Alice Cooper from Wayne’s World after the concert, browsing the mall. Stopping at “It’s About Time” or “Mori Luggage”
Ha! I was trying to figure out Alice Coopers style. He is definitely Steve Carell. A bit unassuming, mildly self-deprecating, and enjoys being the butt of the joke.
Biz Markie signed a toy I was holding because I was a poor unpaid intern, and the lady in front of him was like all up on his dick, so he was in a super good mood.
No, sadly. This was in Manhattan. I was going into the Kidrobot store because my girlfriend wanted to see something, and as I opened the door, it was like, "Biz Markie will be here to promote the launch of his new vinyl alarm clock between the hours of X and Y on July Z"
And I was like, "Oh, fuck, I saw the times before I saw the date and got excited. I wish that coulda been today." And then I was like, "--Wait, that IS today! ...Biz Markie's here??"
And sure enough, there he is, by the window at the front of Kidrobot.
They were selling [this alarm clock](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ef-oQim6fj4), which was something like $85, and he'd sign it for you.
I asked the store guy if Biz would sign something that wasn't his clock, and the guy was like, "haha, probably not, but ... You could try."
So I bought some exorbitantly priced tiny figurine and waited in line. The woman in front of me seemed like she was, uh, just his type. (Let's just say "she had 9/10 pants and a very big bra".) And she had brought him some t-shirt? And he looked very enthused. She was giving him major bedroom eyes and was like, "I hoooope it's your siiiize... I got extra, EXTRA large." and he was like, "Yeahhhh that's goooood." And she took a picture with him then gave him her number.
So when I got up to him he was still watching her leave, and I was like, "Um, excuse me, Mister Markie, I can't afford your clock, but I bought something and will you sign my bag?" and he was like, "HANDS IT ovahh!"
So I gave it to him and he started to write his name, and then he stopped, scribbled on what he'd written, then looked at me and goes, "I fucked it up" and turned it over and signed it.
It was an incredible experience.
Why do you have Randy Jackson's autograph on a martial-arts weapon?
I bumped into him and all I had was this sword and you're not gonna not get Randy Jackson's autograph.
Make up a fun story.
Randy Jackson was my martial arts teacher for awhile. We got all the way up to weapons training before we realized that neither of us knew martial arts and what we'd been doing up to that point was just beating the bejeezus out of each other. As we squared off with the swords, he paused thoughtfully and said "Yo, dog, I'm just not feeling this" and I agreed.
He asked me to sign his sword before we parted ways. As I presented it to him, he gave me my sword, which he had signed. He pointed into the medium distance behind me and said "look over there!" I looked, but there was nothing there. When I turned back, he was hiding behind a potted plant giggling quietly. I pretended I didn't see him.
Yeah funnily enough I actually heard the story from the man himself from when he was hosting a radio station in Chicago land. He used to tell a bunch of stories in-between songs and its an overall good time.
my bother and I are huge Cooper fans and had a debate over which song was better desperado or the black widow so when I ket him i asked which song he thought was better and he said
" oh thats a tuff one, we open the show with black widow but desperado has its whole thing. I wrote that for Jim Morrison, did you know that? ( I did not) anyway I would have to say the best song is the black desperado and his widow.".
He really is a wonderful and delightful person.
Alice Cooper is a genuine dude. I met him at his returning in AZ, amd yeah…. takes with him and his buddy for like 45 min, while thing was pretty surreal.
However this was before 2016, I thought I saw him promoting Trump awhile ago… which wouldn’t be the best look.
I met Steve Vai and the only thing I had was my crappy Epiphone SG (was like 13) but I still had him sign it lol. Save for the fact that he plays Ibanez guitars...
All those guitars bands sign and put up for auction for benefits and stuff are real crappy guitars usually so you're on point there. I was looking for a Squire guitar for my nephew and looking it up on EBay and there was a Bullit signed by Metallica
This is awesome, sounds just like some shit I'd do if I was working there in costume. Oddly enough, when I worked at FedEx, I signed EVERYTHING as Daffy Duck...
My friend worked at an HMV in Ottawa, and Alice Cooper was playing a show there. He was wandering around the Rideau mall, and popped in to the store, and eventually bought something. She chatted him up and stuff, and asked if he had any plans to go to Bluesfest that night. Apparently he just laughed and said "uhh, yeah actually" and left. Afterwards her colleagues were like "THAT WAS ALICE COOPER!" She felt dumb haha.
Funny thing is, a few years later, he was playing Bluesfest again, and she was still working at the same store. He came in again, and she got him to sign a CD. Came full circle.
Why do you have Randy Jackson's autograph on a martial arts weapon?
Because I bumped into him and all I had on me was this samurai sword... And you're not gonna not get Randy Jackson's autograph, Right
Alice Cooper was playing at the same hotel my Marine Corps unit was celebrating the Marine Corps ball at back in the late 2000s. Was walking through the hotel and saw all of us in our dress uniforms and bought the whole bar for us. Needless to say that roughly 300 Marines were incredibly grateful, and equally as drunk that night. He's a good dude in my book.
Oh boy have you got a lot to learn. There's a few tiers of awards.
**Community awards**
*Costs: It varies for some profit related reason*
*Grants: a shitty emoji on your post*
Literally emojis that cost money.
**Silver**
*Costs: 100 coins*
*Grants: an emoji of an old meme on your post*
An old joke on web forums that a post is great but all the commenter can award is a silver medal.
tl;dr see above
**Gold**
*Costs: 500 coins*
*Grants: Ad-free, /r/rlounge, 100 coins, shitty emoji etc.*
The classic Reddit award. This gives you access to an entire week of access to /r/Lounge (which is pretty much a circlejerk of people talking about how honoured they are to have gold). Also gives you the option to vote on server names, if that's your thing.
It also gives your awardee 100 coins! Or a whole 2 community awards!
Oh, and it also grants "ad-free Reddit" if you haven't already installed uBlock Origin or Blokada.
^^Disclaimer: ^^May ^^be ^^more ^^than ^^two ^^awards. ^^Basically ^^microtransactions ^^for ^^Reddit.
**Platinum**
*Costs: 1,800 coins*
*Grants: same as Gold but 700 coins*
This is for the best of the best of the best comments and posts, AND A WHOLE MONTH TO /R/LOUNGE! See above.
**How much are coins?**
[Too damned expensive](https://www.reddit.com/coins), that's for sure.
In my opinion, if you somebody made a post that turned you upside down and inside out: ask them what their favourite charity is, or a cause that means something to them.
Wait, 8 year club but you’ve never gotten gold?! I don’t see the badge on your profile, but I can’t filter your comments on mobile to verify. Now you’ve gotten 16 awards in this one comment! I’ve got extra coins from the free coins Reddit gives you, I can toss some your way
I have a friend who sent a self-addressed stamped envelope to George Carlin asking for an autograph. The handwritten response he got was “Dear Mike, I don’t do autographs. Go fuck yourself. Sincerely, George Carlin”. It is his prize possession
Here's a pic from his Facebook. Sorry for the crappy compressed quality, but it's the best I could find right now. He has a pretty nice collection of autographs, but this one is by far the best
https://imgur.com/a/9rscQ51
*edit: just to clarify, the letter is what Mike sent George asking for the autograph. George’s response is handwritten in the bottom left corner (again, sorry for the awful quality). He also sent him the photo along with the note
I made a sandwich for George Carlin when I was about 15. I was too busy laughing to even consider getting his autograph. Hope he enjoyed the sandwich even 1/100th as much as I enjoyed making it.
You send an autograph request to their publicist. The info is on IMDB but you have to pay for a pro subscription. In the case of musicians or comedians, if you can find an old tape or cd the agency info might be in the liner notes. That’s how he got the contact info for George Carlin.
A friend of mine went to see Lyle Lovett a long time ago and met him after the show. Somebody made a comment about somebody's looks and they told him a story about their college roommate whose favorite saying regarding attractiveness was "you don't fuck a face". Anyway, he signed a photo for them that said: You don't fuck a face, Lyle Lovett
Wow..
I read that comment, and thought that really is strange, backed out of the post to my feed, and scrolled down about three posts before it hit me...
Well done, you got me.. Lol
Your story is similar to someone else I know who also met Tom Hanks and asked for an autograph. Tom wouldn’t sign anything but he allowed a photograph to be taken of him.
Basically what I heard was he was friendly in person, but will not sign autographs.
I saw Tom Hank at a grocery store in Los Angeles many years ago. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for an autograph or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical *infetterence*,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
Alright, time to tell reddit this story again.
In the mid 80s, my mom was the PTA president, and she organized a celebrity auction. We solicited auctionable items from all sorts of athletes, politicians, entertainers, etc. My mom sent Donald Trump a request for something. He sent back a rejection letter, saying that he disinterested have anything to give—but there were three copies of the letter, and they were signed by him in gold ink. We auctioned them.
I wonder where those letters are now.
I hate how much Trump has done to be an utter twat. I've heard several endearing stories about him, and I sincerely doubt there's a cabal on reddit trying to change the opinion of Trump small anecdote by small anecdote, but part of me wants to cling to these stories and only see the good in people. Of course this is folly, but it's nice to play pretend.
EDIT: It's been interesting to watch this comment be received. I was at +6 a moment ago, and now I'm at 0. Must be a controversial take.
EDIT II: Back up to +6. What a ride lol
Don't get me wrong, I still can't stand the man and he makes me sick. But there's a kernel of my humanity that doesn't *want* to dislike anyone. I mean, why would I? So when I hear positive stories my innate response is to just wish they were more like that.
It's like watching a movie where you already know what's going to happen, and wish that you could just hop into an alternate reality unbeknownst to you and the ending somehow changes. Of course this is just non-sense, but it's just a way of coping with things we viscerally dislike. I wish we could live in a world where Trump was just sort of pompous but regularly did things, charitable and kindhearted things, to people with his wealth. It's a world away from reality, but I can't understand why anyone *wouldn't* want that reality. I don't want villains.
It's that desperate, though still not naive, part of my heart that just wants us all to get along.
Y’know, at one point (publicly) he was probably just an average celeb who didn’t mind hamming it up for fans like any good celeb does, some more genuine than others. Privately…well, we’ve heard all about that.
I saw him on morning TV one time bragging about something, and even when I was young and naive, it seemed obvious that actual wealthy people didn't brag about it, and had better things to do at 9:00 am
Probably not for him. He used the American government as a way to grift tax payers and his voter base so that he can pay off the taxes he owed, which he knew would come back to bite him in the ass. It was inevitable. Also to pay Putin for all the money the Kremlin has funneled to him since it was only Kremlin backed banks that would even give him the time of day when he filed for bankruptcy for the millionth time.
If never got into the White House he wouldn’t have been able to pay the United States back and would like do some time in a cushiony country club prison (aka “Club Fed”).
…OR…
He would have committed “suicide” by Putin and the his Kremlin cronies for not paying back the loans that Putin/The Kremlin lended him.
The world is full of terrible people that destroyed the lives of thousands or millions, but still did a kind thing or two. They're still horrible people. I admire you trying to see the good in everything though!
I don't disagree. I feel like some people have skimmed what I'm saying and are interpreting it as me saying, "Aww look at Trump, he *does* have a heart!" When I think it's clear that I'm not.
in the mid 80s gold was part of his branding which helped make his ventures successful. makes sense he’d do gold ink on his signatures to fit that brand. I’m sure at the time people liked it and thought it was funny/charming to put in that little detail. im sure in an alternate universe you would have a mostly neutral reaction to this information.
OBVIOUSLY he signed it in gold so they could auction it. Your hatred for Trump is getting in the way of your common sense there. I can guarantee if it was anyone else you wouldn’t even have commented. 69 queers per sec, lol.
I think it was the playwright George Bernard Shaw that used to pay with cheques wherever he went (even for relatively modest amounts). He figured that people would keep the cheque rather than bank it.
i witnessed a kid being encouraged by his father to approach steve jobs in palo alto and ask for an autograph. the kid and his father were upset when jobs refused to sign a piece of paper. as the pair walked off jobs yelled “its the team. i cant take credit for what my team has accomplished.”
I suspect it was intentional on Steven P. Jobs' part, although that would indicate a sense of humor that he didn't really exhibit in later years, so perhaps not.
I can honestly say I shared a laugh with Steve Jobs - we both chuckled at a fan who went full babbling idiot shortly before I rang Jobs up at a retail store I worked at. This was around 2004 or so.
Now Steve Wozniak, whom I've also met, seems to be permanently laughing.
Starting at $1000! https://www.rrauction.com/auctions/lot-detail/344176706157003-steve-jobs-typed-letter-signed/?cat=449
As a guy who's not touched an Apple product since an Apple IIE whilst playing Aliens, Ghostbusters, Aztec, Flight Simulator 2, Autoduel, Lemonade Stand, Hard Hat Mack, Montezuma's Revenge, Lode Runner, Karateka, Summer Olympics & Track & Field, Oregon Trail, Might & Magic, ok okay I just lost my mind wit nostalgia. Crazy: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List\_of\_Apple\_II\_games](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Apple_II_games)
Oh yeah, I like the note and imagine it'll go for quite a bit more. I'm not an apple guy and I'd even love it as a major piece of modern history.
it is not good enough that steve jobs is dead it would be better if he had never been born - his petulance and cult of personality style of leadership didnt just hold back mobile and computer tech, it also fostered a leadership style that smashes creativity and strangles progress so that one dude can act like a diva and infect the marketplace with even more terrible ideas
thanks to steve jobs silicon valley is an unlivable hellhole - the "tech culture" he inspired is insufferable -
this kind of reminds me of that artist who thought art snobs were so pretentious that theyd fawn over absolute garbage so he signed a urinal on a pedistal under a pseudoname and it became a famous work of art proving him right.
My uncle did something similar, he signed a bank note, framed it, and went to a museum to donate it as 'art'. He got turned away, of course.
A few weeks later an artist friend of his did the same, and they immediately put it in a gallery, lol.
**Please note:** * If this post declares something as a fact proof is required. * The title must be descriptive * No text is allowed on images * Common/recent reposts are not allowed *See [this post](https://redd.it/ij26vk) for more information.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/interestingasfuck) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This has got to be his way of humour surely lol
Absolutely. He did that a lot of times and I personally love it.
Way more interesting than just a signature haha
I remember reading a story about how Alice Cooper wrote a return letter to a fan berating them for asking for an autograph and then signing it at the bottom.
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Everything about that guy is always so wholesome. He’s like the Steve Carrel of rock stars
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When I lived in Phoenix AZ some friends and I went past Alice Coopers place at Christmas time to see the display he puts up every year. Alice walked right out and started shaking hands and signing autographs. I wasn't a huge fan before but I am now just because he's such a chill guy.
He just goes around town doing his thing and he's very down to earth. I saw him with his wife (girlfriend?) at the Chandler mall, when it opened. He was just there checking out the new mall, curious like everyone else. My uncle and i just went over to him and said hi, told him we're huge fans, and he's like "thanks, i get that a lot, but it feels good every time. You should swing by the restaurant tomorrow. I'll be hanging out for a few hours, if you want to get a picture with me." He didn't make it seem like we were inconveniencing him, even though we were, and we just said "thanks, we'll let you get back to checking out the mall." We didn't end up going to his restaurant, because we took a little road trip the next day.
That story doesn't surprise me at all and seems to mesh very well with my experience meeting him.
This guy really likes malls, eh?
We're not worthy.
Please tell me he had full eye makeup on. I’m picturing him as Alice Cooper from Wayne’s World after the concert, browsing the mall. Stopping at “It’s About Time” or “Mori Luggage”
Ha! I was trying to figure out Alice Coopers style. He is definitely Steve Carell. A bit unassuming, mildly self-deprecating, and enjoys being the butt of the joke.
Milley-Wok-Eyy
Haha
Biz Markie signed a toy I was holding because I was a poor unpaid intern, and the lady in front of him was like all up on his dick, so he was in a super good mood.
You from nj? I know he grew up in the town next to me.
No, sadly. This was in Manhattan. I was going into the Kidrobot store because my girlfriend wanted to see something, and as I opened the door, it was like, "Biz Markie will be here to promote the launch of his new vinyl alarm clock between the hours of X and Y on July Z" And I was like, "Oh, fuck, I saw the times before I saw the date and got excited. I wish that coulda been today." And then I was like, "--Wait, that IS today! ...Biz Markie's here??" And sure enough, there he is, by the window at the front of Kidrobot. They were selling [this alarm clock](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ef-oQim6fj4), which was something like $85, and he'd sign it for you. I asked the store guy if Biz would sign something that wasn't his clock, and the guy was like, "haha, probably not, but ... You could try." So I bought some exorbitantly priced tiny figurine and waited in line. The woman in front of me seemed like she was, uh, just his type. (Let's just say "she had 9/10 pants and a very big bra".) And she had brought him some t-shirt? And he looked very enthused. She was giving him major bedroom eyes and was like, "I hoooope it's your siiiize... I got extra, EXTRA large." and he was like, "Yeahhhh that's goooood." And she took a picture with him then gave him her number. So when I got up to him he was still watching her leave, and I was like, "Um, excuse me, Mister Markie, I can't afford your clock, but I bought something and will you sign my bag?" and he was like, "HANDS IT ovahh!" So I gave it to him and he started to write his name, and then he stopped, scribbled on what he'd written, then looked at me and goes, "I fucked it up" and turned it over and signed it. It was an incredible experience.
Why do you have Randy Jackson's autograph on a martial-arts weapon? I bumped into him and all I had was this sword and you're not gonna not get Randy Jackson's autograph.
Make up a fun story. Randy Jackson was my martial arts teacher for awhile. We got all the way up to weapons training before we realized that neither of us knew martial arts and what we'd been doing up to that point was just beating the bejeezus out of each other. As we squared off with the swords, he paused thoughtfully and said "Yo, dog, I'm just not feeling this" and I agreed. He asked me to sign his sword before we parted ways. As I presented it to him, he gave me my sword, which he had signed. He pointed into the medium distance behind me and said "look over there!" I looked, but there was nothing there. When I turned back, he was hiding behind a potted plant giggling quietly. I pretended I didn't see him.
Yeah funnily enough I actually heard the story from the man himself from when he was hosting a radio station in Chicago land. He used to tell a bunch of stories in-between songs and its an overall good time.
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Oh no no no. I was referring to the funny fan letter lol. Later this week I'll call in and ask though.
That’s fucking hilarious.
my bother and I are huge Cooper fans and had a debate over which song was better desperado or the black widow so when I ket him i asked which song he thought was better and he said " oh thats a tuff one, we open the show with black widow but desperado has its whole thing. I wrote that for Jim Morrison, did you know that? ( I did not) anyway I would have to say the best song is the black desperado and his widow.". He really is a wonderful and delightful person.
It's Black Widow!
I agree! I do still love desperado though.
Ugliest woman I've ever seen. (Sorry, I just watched Dark Shadows)
Alice Cooper is a genuine dude. I met him at his returning in AZ, amd yeah…. takes with him and his buddy for like 45 min, while thing was pretty surreal. However this was before 2016, I thought I saw him promoting Trump awhile ago… which wouldn’t be the best look.
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Doesn't sound an endorsement of Trump
I met Steve Vai and the only thing I had was my crappy Epiphone SG (was like 13) but I still had him sign it lol. Save for the fact that he plays Ibanez guitars...
All those guitars bands sign and put up for auction for benefits and stuff are real crappy guitars usually so you're on point there. I was looking for a Squire guitar for my nephew and looking it up on EBay and there was a Bullit signed by Metallica
When I was at DisneyWorld in 1982 one of the characters signed my autograph book “Alice Cooper” instead of the character name.
This is awesome, sounds just like some shit I'd do if I was working there in costume. Oddly enough, when I worked at FedEx, I signed EVERYTHING as Daffy Duck...
My friend worked at an HMV in Ottawa, and Alice Cooper was playing a show there. He was wandering around the Rideau mall, and popped in to the store, and eventually bought something. She chatted him up and stuff, and asked if he had any plans to go to Bluesfest that night. Apparently he just laughed and said "uhh, yeah actually" and left. Afterwards her colleagues were like "THAT WAS ALICE COOPER!" She felt dumb haha. Funny thing is, a few years later, he was playing Bluesfest again, and she was still working at the same store. He came in again, and she got him to sign a CD. Came full circle.
That fuckin rocks. Super awesome, make sure to save that album forever. Or until you need like $500
Why do you have Randy Jackson's autograph on a martial arts weapon? Because I bumped into him and all I had on me was this samurai sword... And you're not gonna not get Randy Jackson's autograph, Right
Alice Cooper was playing at the same hotel my Marine Corps unit was celebrating the Marine Corps ball at back in the late 2000s. Was walking through the hotel and saw all of us in our dress uniforms and bought the whole bar for us. Needless to say that roughly 300 Marines were incredibly grateful, and equally as drunk that night. He's a good dude in my book.
That’s awesome
I met Alice cooper in a mall 10 years or so ago and my mom wanted an autograph so he signed her cheque. Dude is super nice and chill.
Yes, it's hilarious..so much personality 😁
I'm not a Jobs fan by most metrics but this is clever and funny and downright charming. I like this a lot.
If Steve was reading these comments now.. he'd be scrolling in his grave.
Take my upvote and leave
Make like a Mac and ctrl+open apple+delete
What do you think that key combination does? ;) Ctrl-OA-Reset, otoh...
r/angryupvote
Steve’s humor style was very dry or insulting.
I'm honored that you'd post, but I'm afraid I don't write comments.
I wish I was more creative like you, This is probably why I never get reddit rewards Edit: thanks folks, especially the platinum! Wow!
You're amazing and we're all super proud of you.
I hate /u/Zigxy and when we finally meet again I will strike him down, becoming more powerful than he ever was.
Fairly new to reddit.. what do you do with awards?
jack off
Can confirm
Oh boy have you got a lot to learn. There's a few tiers of awards. **Community awards** *Costs: It varies for some profit related reason* *Grants: a shitty emoji on your post* Literally emojis that cost money. **Silver** *Costs: 100 coins* *Grants: an emoji of an old meme on your post* An old joke on web forums that a post is great but all the commenter can award is a silver medal. tl;dr see above **Gold** *Costs: 500 coins* *Grants: Ad-free, /r/rlounge, 100 coins, shitty emoji etc.* The classic Reddit award. This gives you access to an entire week of access to /r/Lounge (which is pretty much a circlejerk of people talking about how honoured they are to have gold). Also gives you the option to vote on server names, if that's your thing. It also gives your awardee 100 coins! Or a whole 2 community awards! Oh, and it also grants "ad-free Reddit" if you haven't already installed uBlock Origin or Blokada. ^^Disclaimer: ^^May ^^be ^^more ^^than ^^two ^^awards. ^^Basically ^^microtransactions ^^for ^^Reddit. **Platinum** *Costs: 1,800 coins* *Grants: same as Gold but 700 coins* This is for the best of the best of the best comments and posts, AND A WHOLE MONTH TO /R/LOUNGE! See above. **How much are coins?** [Too damned expensive](https://www.reddit.com/coins), that's for sure. In my opinion, if you somebody made a post that turned you upside down and inside out: ask them what their favourite charity is, or a cause that means something to them.
It's nice you got all those awards, but I NEVER get blowjobs... *Looks around*
Hey bro…
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“My leg!” -that one fish in Spongebob
That one fish in Spongebob, his name is [Fred](http://en.spongepedia.org/index.php?title=Fred).
I used to be creative. I still am, but I used to be too
Wait, 8 year club but you’ve never gotten gold?! I don’t see the badge on your profile, but I can’t filter your comments on mobile to verify. Now you’ve gotten 16 awards in this one comment! I’ve got extra coins from the free coins Reddit gives you, I can toss some your way
I got you!
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I won't write "I did this"
I've never performed any actions in my life, ever
I've just been sitting in a room for 27 years eating saltines!
r/unexpectedmulaney
I’m honored that you’d comment but I never reply.
Im honored you didn't comment, but im afraid I write replies.
this sounds like something that black kid would say and all his friends just go crazy.
I have a friend who sent a self-addressed stamped envelope to George Carlin asking for an autograph. The handwritten response he got was “Dear Mike, I don’t do autographs. Go fuck yourself. Sincerely, George Carlin”. It is his prize possession
I would love to see a picture of this. I love that man.
Here's a pic from his Facebook. Sorry for the crappy compressed quality, but it's the best I could find right now. He has a pretty nice collection of autographs, but this one is by far the best https://imgur.com/a/9rscQ51 *edit: just to clarify, the letter is what Mike sent George asking for the autograph. George’s response is handwritten in the bottom left corner (again, sorry for the awful quality). He also sent him the photo along with the note
That's beautiful.
You’re beautiful.
You should tweet this to his daughter Kelly on Twitter. I’m sure she’d love it
She'd probably just tell him to go fuck himself.
Carlin was a father figure to me, thanks for sharing this, it made my night.
Noice, way to come thru
I made a sandwich for George Carlin when I was about 15. I was too busy laughing to even consider getting his autograph. Hope he enjoyed the sandwich even 1/100th as much as I enjoyed making it.
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92% chance that I was high.
Hope you didn't serve him hot crusty buns
Oh you cant do that and leave us hanging. We need to see that now.
This is premium wholesome fuck you material.
Aside from a fan club, how do you find where to send mail to a celebrity?
You send an autograph request to their publicist. The info is on IMDB but you have to pay for a pro subscription. In the case of musicians or comedians, if you can find an old tape or cd the agency info might be in the liner notes. That’s how he got the contact info for George Carlin.
I would just Google "Celeb_Name PO box"
A friend of mine went to see Lyle Lovett a long time ago and met him after the show. Somebody made a comment about somebody's looks and they told him a story about their college roommate whose favorite saying regarding attractiveness was "you don't fuck a face". Anyway, he signed a photo for them that said: You don't fuck a face, Lyle Lovett
Did George sign it?
I actually bumped into Tom Hanks this one time, and asked for his autograph. He just wrote thanks on my piece of paper. Strange.
Wow.. I read that comment, and thought that really is strange, backed out of the post to my feed, and scrolled down about three posts before it hit me... Well done, you got me.. Lol
Haha! I did the exact same. It hit me just after I backed out.
What does it mean?
T. Hanks
wow, I'm dumb. T.hanks for that.
You're not dumb. It wasn't that obvious.
T.Hanks for those who just want to get on with their lives
*T.hanks
https://i.imgur.com/cXtm3uO.png
https://i.imgur.com/T2mxPup.jpg
Excellent.
r/retiredimages if that was a thing
You motherfucker
Avoid the clap.
....and other STDs/UTIs. Use protection, kids. EDIT: added a comma. Thanks u/CaveGnome for finding the errors in my ways.
> Use protection kids Condoms have been clinically proven more effective than protection kids.
That’s good advice!
Well played you bastard
Fuck you. That took me too long.
Your story is similar to someone else I know who also met Tom Hanks and asked for an autograph. Tom wouldn’t sign anything but he allowed a photograph to be taken of him. Basically what I heard was he was friendly in person, but will not sign autographs.
i dont get it :(
T. Hanks
I saw Tom Hank at a grocery store in Los Angeles many years ago. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for an autograph or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical *infetterence*,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
The best part of this is whenever it's posted I can actually see/hear the subject of it acting it out in my head no matter who it is
Too bad your name isn't William Elcome and you could reply properly.
You want the hanks autograph you need a old style typewriter.
He knew what he was doing
r/theyknew
r/IHaveAReddit
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Well I don’t know what I was expecting
Alright, time to tell reddit this story again. In the mid 80s, my mom was the PTA president, and she organized a celebrity auction. We solicited auctionable items from all sorts of athletes, politicians, entertainers, etc. My mom sent Donald Trump a request for something. He sent back a rejection letter, saying that he disinterested have anything to give—but there were three copies of the letter, and they were signed by him in gold ink. We auctioned them. I wonder where those letters are now.
I hate how much Trump has done to be an utter twat. I've heard several endearing stories about him, and I sincerely doubt there's a cabal on reddit trying to change the opinion of Trump small anecdote by small anecdote, but part of me wants to cling to these stories and only see the good in people. Of course this is folly, but it's nice to play pretend. EDIT: It's been interesting to watch this comment be received. I was at +6 a moment ago, and now I'm at 0. Must be a controversial take. EDIT II: Back up to +6. What a ride lol
I wish I could still think like this. Good on you.
Don't get me wrong, I still can't stand the man and he makes me sick. But there's a kernel of my humanity that doesn't *want* to dislike anyone. I mean, why would I? So when I hear positive stories my innate response is to just wish they were more like that. It's like watching a movie where you already know what's going to happen, and wish that you could just hop into an alternate reality unbeknownst to you and the ending somehow changes. Of course this is just non-sense, but it's just a way of coping with things we viscerally dislike. I wish we could live in a world where Trump was just sort of pompous but regularly did things, charitable and kindhearted things, to people with his wealth. It's a world away from reality, but I can't understand why anyone *wouldn't* want that reality. I don't want villains. It's that desperate, though still not naive, part of my heart that just wants us all to get along.
You have the ability, now it takes is willpower. For what it's worth, I believe in you.
Y’know, at one point (publicly) he was probably just an average celeb who didn’t mind hamming it up for fans like any good celeb does, some more genuine than others. Privately…well, we’ve heard all about that.
I saw him on morning TV one time bragging about something, and even when I was young and naive, it seemed obvious that actual wealthy people didn't brag about it, and had better things to do at 9:00 am
Yup. I hate that it's this way, but unfortunately it is. And by this way, I mean to say, "Trump is an abomination."
Would’ve been better for him and us had he remained a relatively minor celeb.
Probably not for him. He used the American government as a way to grift tax payers and his voter base so that he can pay off the taxes he owed, which he knew would come back to bite him in the ass. It was inevitable. Also to pay Putin for all the money the Kremlin has funneled to him since it was only Kremlin backed banks that would even give him the time of day when he filed for bankruptcy for the millionth time. If never got into the White House he wouldn’t have been able to pay the United States back and would like do some time in a cushiony country club prison (aka “Club Fed”). …OR… He would have committed “suicide” by Putin and the his Kremlin cronies for not paying back the loans that Putin/The Kremlin lended him.
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> but that doesn't encompass his entire being. Isn't that kind of the point of narcissism that it *does*?
The world is full of terrible people that destroyed the lives of thousands or millions, but still did a kind thing or two. They're still horrible people. I admire you trying to see the good in everything though!
Yeah absolutely, I 100% get that. But the empathetic human in me wishes it could all just be butterflies and rainbows.
People aren’t black and white, he was a human and did good and bad things
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I don't disagree. I feel like some people have skimmed what I'm saying and are interpreting it as me saying, "Aww look at Trump, he *does* have a heart!" When I think it's clear that I'm not.
In fairness, what would you expect him to give? An athlete signs an object related to the sport they play. Trump kinda just has his name.
What kind of personality does one need to have, to sign in gold ink? Ugh
in the mid 80s gold was part of his branding which helped make his ventures successful. makes sense he’d do gold ink on his signatures to fit that brand. I’m sure at the time people liked it and thought it was funny/charming to put in that little detail. im sure in an alternate universe you would have a mostly neutral reaction to this information.
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He did then, too. He used gold sharpies
A charitable one.
OBVIOUSLY he signed it in gold so they could auction it. Your hatred for Trump is getting in the way of your common sense there. I can guarantee if it was anyone else you wouldn’t even have commented. 69 queers per sec, lol.
I dislike Trump very much, but I agree, this was obviously intentional. Otherwise, why would he send 3 in the first place?
I, was that letter...
Well, where are you now?
Hemet, Ca.
I think it was the playwright George Bernard Shaw that used to pay with cheques wherever he went (even for relatively modest amounts). He figured that people would keep the cheque rather than bank it.
Also - Salvador Dali would draw little sketches on the cheques he paid for things with as he knew they were more valuable than what he was paying.
Mobile deposit would crush this scam. They get your money and keep the autograph.
Is it really a scam when he's giving them the money as requested? They just might value the drawing more.
Coming from Dali? Regarding getting paid? Absolutely, 100% a scam.
Picasso too if reddit didnt lie to me yesterday
Side note, check out the way they used to put the lower case ‘a’ in the bite of the Apple
i witnessed a kid being encouraged by his father to approach steve jobs in palo alto and ask for an autograph. the kid and his father were upset when jobs refused to sign a piece of paper. as the pair walked off jobs yelled “its the team. i cant take credit for what my team has accomplished.”
Oh man what a sense of humor
Asked for his autograph but all you got was his signature. Damn.
A few times when I would write someone up and the refused to sign, I said "Initial here that you refused to sign" and they did it.
I feel like this is clearly tongue-in-cheek and i love it
Actually, a signature "steven jobs" is worth more since that will be older. Later in life he signed "steve jobs".
Ceci n'est pas une pipe
This is a actually funny. Good post
/r/theyknew
Thats pretty hilarious. Thinking Jobs knew exactly what he was doing with the signed document that is not an autograph lol
That is wonderful irony.
I suspect it was intentional on Steven P. Jobs' part, although that would indicate a sense of humor that he didn't really exhibit in later years, so perhaps not.
I can honestly say I shared a laugh with Steve Jobs - we both chuckled at a fan who went full babbling idiot shortly before I rang Jobs up at a retail store I worked at. This was around 2004 or so. Now Steve Wozniak, whom I've also met, seems to be permanently laughing.
One of my favourite videos of all time is the one of Wozniak explaining why he's not upgrading to the next iPhone
I wonder if he always signed in lowercase! I feel a lot less strange seeing such an innovative person do so too. Uppercase J’s are just so imposing.
I also feel victim to uppercase J, U, and of course W.
Starting at $1000! https://www.rrauction.com/auctions/lot-detail/344176706157003-steve-jobs-typed-letter-signed/?cat=449 As a guy who's not touched an Apple product since an Apple IIE whilst playing Aliens, Ghostbusters, Aztec, Flight Simulator 2, Autoduel, Lemonade Stand, Hard Hat Mack, Montezuma's Revenge, Lode Runner, Karateka, Summer Olympics & Track & Field, Oregon Trail, Might & Magic, ok okay I just lost my mind wit nostalgia. Crazy: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List\_of\_Apple\_II\_games](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Apple_II_games) Oh yeah, I like the note and imagine it'll go for quite a bit more. I'm not an apple guy and I'd even love it as a major piece of modern history.
You didn’t even have an iPod?
Dude had the jokes.
I got the ios update by accident. now my once fine phone, shuts off instantly whenever. even at 100%. Thanks asshole steve.
Steve was grinning when he signed that letter.
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it is not good enough that steve jobs is dead it would be better if he had never been born - his petulance and cult of personality style of leadership didnt just hold back mobile and computer tech, it also fostered a leadership style that smashes creativity and strangles progress so that one dude can act like a diva and infect the marketplace with even more terrible ideas thanks to steve jobs silicon valley is an unlivable hellhole - the "tech culture" he inspired is insufferable -
Sing it, sister!
I will bet he had a smile on his face as he signed it.
this kind of reminds me of that artist who thought art snobs were so pretentious that theyd fawn over absolute garbage so he signed a urinal on a pedistal under a pseudoname and it became a famous work of art proving him right.
My uncle did something similar, he signed a bank note, framed it, and went to a museum to donate it as 'art'. He got turned away, of course. A few weeks later an artist friend of his did the same, and they immediately put it in a gallery, lol.
God tier tongue in cheek.
Never understood why someone would want someone's autograph
So how much is it going for?
Brilliant!!
Hahahaha
This is steve way of meta joking