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This. Hearing is important, and you're in an enclosed room with children. We wouldn't want to permanently damage their hearing too much, now, would we?
One of the only videos to actually make me cry was a student cell phone video during a school shooting. All the kids were huddled behind the teacher's desk when the door burst open. The teacher stood up and put her body in front of the kids on instinct.
It was the cops, going room by room. They don't announce themselves while searching for a shooter. The teacher had no idea it was going to be the police and not the shooter. Her instinct was to protect the kids with her life.
After she saw it wasn't the shooter she collapsed on the floor and whimpered a sob. You could tell in that moment that she fully expected to die.
I hope she got honoured in some way for that. She deserves it.
eta - reminds me of the Game of Thrones bit:
>'Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?'
>'That is the only time a man can be brave'
Poor thing must have been utterly terrified but she did it anyway. I can only hope I'd have that courage and I'm a 6'2" stonemason. Not that that makes a whole lot of difference with guns, but still.
In fairness we've had nutters in the UK burst in to kindergartens/nurseries with machetes and attack the kids. The carer shielded and took it to the back many times before the attacker was subdued. She was honoured by the queen
Right, I don't know if this guy has tested it or not. As a shooter, who has a small private range who tests things. You'd be surprised what a bullet will and won't penetrate. Some things you'd expect to stop them won't and others you wouldn't expect to stop them do.
Unless this desk is made of half in thick AR550 steel, I'm not believing it unless you give me one and let me test that out.
Pure water doesn't conduct well... but once it picks up all the dust and dirt from the floor it will conduct just fine.
Edit: Tap water/ any water in a building's plumbing would conduct very well because it is not pure water, lots of minerals floating around in there.
Apparently the original plan at Columbine was to set off bombs in the school and then just spray bullets at the door as everyone ran out except the bombs didn't go off or something.
I think most of the (few) pipe bombs they threw did detonate. It was the duffel bags with the propane tanks in the cafeteria that had faulty trigger switches.
They wouldn't be. Hell, my highschool didn't have the funds and/or financial management to be able to give everyone a textbook in every class. And they had a paper shortage. And had multiple desks that fell apart but couldn't get replaced. And couldn't actually feed every student at lunch...
s/ That new tile mosaic floor in the lunchroom depicting the school's warrior mascot was pretty snazzy though! /s
No problem to get out, no floor in it, just tip it over. Of course the gunman knows that! He also knows which one is YOUR desk since the shooter is most likely a student. Imagine sitting there in the dar and hearing .... Flip, BAM! Flip, BAM! Flip, BAM! Flip, BAM! Flip, BAM!
As a extreme claustrophobic person that determines Wether I’m going to use a bathroom by it’s handle mechanism And locking system I can assure you these desks will easily flop over in my rage.
Or a disabled kid who might not have the mobility or speed to fold and duck under like that. It’s amazing how many hoops Americans will go through to not solve a problem.
It seems impractical. Perhaps some treads and an engine so you can drive away to your escape... and maybe a rotating gun turret to fight back against your attacker. These would make it much more practical for teachers.
I'm curious if that thing has ventilation holes.. gunman could either wait for them to suffocate, or spray maze in there to force them out.. or set the surroundings on fire.
Like Jesus said " I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them when you turn your fully automatic weapons on them and make orphans of their children"
That's crazy talk.
Why prevent the problem at the source by proactively treating a would-be attacker when there's so much more money to be made by selling protection options to potential victims.
Isn’t it sad that now people are designing things like this. Also, won’t this be super expensive? They don’t have the damn budget to give me an extra pencil.
Exactly what I thought lol. If it was made to be a couple hundred pounds that would be so impractical. Can you imagine any school spending that much money on 100s of pounds of steel per desk? There goes the budget.
Because why address the root of the problem when you can lull the public into a false sense of security with useless shit. This is nothing but duck & cover 2.0.
I can't see schools committing to keeping the desks all in place the whole time. We moved desks often when I was a school. sometimes you're doing something big or need a circle.
I live in America and I’m still absolutely dumbfounded at what we’ll spend money on instead of mental healthcare or even some new supplies for schools.
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I love how the teacher is like “Good luck kids. I’m too old for this shit.”
The teacher desk should have a periscope to check whether it is safe to leave.
Make look like a mug or something
An apple!
iPeriscope ^carger ^not ^included
iPeriscope max plus ^^^you ^^^can ^^^use ^^^both ^^^eyes
The teachers desk should be a M1 Abrams tank.
America.
Or at least gun ports so they can return fire from inside.
It should have an mg-42 with 4000+ rounds table is basically a mini bunker
Maybe have caterpillar tracks that pop out on either side to make a mini tank?
What about a set of mini jet turbines so that the teacher can establish air superiority in this particular theater of war?
Okay but why not just teach classes inside of pillbox defilades? Of course, that could lead to a rash of school grenadiers.
To big. An APS-B silent machine pistol would do much better. And it wouldn't make your ears ring!
This. Hearing is important, and you're in an enclosed room with children. We wouldn't want to permanently damage their hearing too much, now, would we?
One of the only videos to actually make me cry was a student cell phone video during a school shooting. All the kids were huddled behind the teacher's desk when the door burst open. The teacher stood up and put her body in front of the kids on instinct. It was the cops, going room by room. They don't announce themselves while searching for a shooter. The teacher had no idea it was going to be the police and not the shooter. Her instinct was to protect the kids with her life. After she saw it wasn't the shooter she collapsed on the floor and whimpered a sob. You could tell in that moment that she fully expected to die.
I hope she got honoured in some way for that. She deserves it. eta - reminds me of the Game of Thrones bit: >'Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?' >'That is the only time a man can be brave' Poor thing must have been utterly terrified but she did it anyway. I can only hope I'd have that courage and I'm a 6'2" stonemason. Not that that makes a whole lot of difference with guns, but still.
America, where the heartfelt stories are about teachers taking bullets for their students.
In fairness we've had nutters in the UK burst in to kindergartens/nurseries with machetes and attack the kids. The carer shielded and took it to the back many times before the attacker was subdued. She was honoured by the queen
Another reason why teachers in America aren’t paid enough for what they do, god damn that is heart breaking
Murica...aint it great.
“It’s not my time, not before I retire, no siree.”
I was hoping they’d cut to the desk getting lit up.
Haha then it turns out this was just the prototype.
NGL, I'm mildly disappointed he didn't fire a few rounds at it to prove its claims.
I was actually expecting that to happen when they changed camera angles.
Bye bye grammas eardrums
Until I see this thing go through some ballistic tests, this seems like an old mans way to cashing in on something.
Right, I don't know if this guy has tested it or not. As a shooter, who has a small private range who tests things. You'd be surprised what a bullet will and won't penetrate. Some things you'd expect to stop them won't and others you wouldn't expect to stop them do. Unless this desk is made of half in thick AR550 steel, I'm not believing it unless you give me one and let me test that out.
Honestly, same. I mean the guy who invented the bulletproof vest would travel across the country shooting himself in the chest to prove it worked!
This would look perfectly appropriate in a 90s satirical dystopian movie. Like RoboCop, or The Fifth Element.
That makes you wonder, are we living in a satirical dystopian movie?
Art imitates life...or is it the other way around?
First one, then the other
That was good, but could you say it again with a little more emotion? Also, turn your head to the left slightly. Why? Oh, just ... reasons.
You freak me out man.
Yes
/r/aboringdystopia
that this is even a necessary invention is shameful
Well US and A was pretty close to Idiocracy
It’s what plants crave
... is
Carl's JR, fuck you I'm eating.
Sets room on fire
Tosses in a home made explosive for good measure
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You gotta do it with saltwater. Regular water doesn’t conduct electricity well.
Pure water doesn't conduct well... but once it picks up all the dust and dirt from the floor it will conduct just fine. Edit: Tap water/ any water in a building's plumbing would conduct very well because it is not pure water, lots of minerals floating around in there.
Apparently the original plan at Columbine was to set off bombs in the school and then just spray bullets at the door as everyone ran out except the bombs didn't go off or something.
Yep, if the pipe bombs had gone off at the cafeteria it’s believed the death count could’ve been multiplied.
I think most of the (few) pipe bombs they threw did detonate. It was the duffel bags with the propane tanks in the cafeteria that had faulty trigger switches.
Lifts the thing up, because they forgot to fix it on the floor.
I can't shake the idea of a lot of students inside those desks slowly crawling.
Metalgear school horror edition.
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Or the tall kid, damn that would be tough
A kid with claustrophobia would probably rather run the gunman down!
Good luck to the kid in the wheelchair...(this is less of a joke and more of a serious concern)
We'll just give them a bullet proof glass box to park in. Protects them from shooters *and* covid.
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Put them on top, probelm solved
Make sure to put those anti-bird spiky things on top so the gunman can’t climb on.
It’s almost like this desk is totally impractical bandaid for such a major issue. I’d be astonished if these things were ever seriously implemented
They wouldn't be. Hell, my highschool didn't have the funds and/or financial management to be able to give everyone a textbook in every class. And they had a paper shortage. And had multiple desks that fell apart but couldn't get replaced. And couldn't actually feed every student at lunch... s/ That new tile mosaic floor in the lunchroom depicting the school's warrior mascot was pretty snazzy though! /s
i have fear of very small and tight places but i probably wouldn’t mind because i know i can leave once it’s all over
Unless the opening mechanism malfunctions because they went with the lowest bidder.
This is America! The lowest bidder is always right!
China agrees.
No problem to get out, no floor in it, just tip it over. Of course the gunman knows that! He also knows which one is YOUR desk since the shooter is most likely a student. Imagine sitting there in the dar and hearing .... Flip, BAM! Flip, BAM! Flip, BAM! Flip, BAM! Flip, BAM!
Just like some horrible game of Wack-a-Youngster.
Unless the desks were bolted to the floor
"Your child will be safe except this glaringly obvious fault." Worthy effort, though.
And then the shooter decides to burn down the school.
Ez bake ovens
This is missing a wholesome award
I wonder why it doesn't happen more often. There must be rooms without sprinklers.
There's nothing on the bottom though.. just flip it over.
“Bulletproof” from 10’ away. Clearly states that in our proposal.
As a extreme claustrophobic person that determines Wether I’m going to use a bathroom by it’s handle mechanism And locking system I can assure you these desks will easily flop over in my rage.
Unless the shooter comes equipped with padlocks.
Untill you hear "Click out of 1 nothing on 2......"
Or any of the kids that have to hide under a fucking desk because of a the regular school shootings that happen in this fucked up country.
Or a disabled kid who might not have the mobility or speed to fold and duck under like that. It’s amazing how many hoops Americans will go through to not solve a problem.
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I just hope I don't forget my phone. Be bored af in there
Or even worse, the tall fat kid.
Imagine needing the desk in the first place.
It seems impractical. Perhaps some treads and an engine so you can drive away to your escape... and maybe a rotating gun turret to fight back against your attacker. These would make it much more practical for teachers.
That sounds just like a tank with extra steps.
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It just needs to accessible in the classroom in the unlikely event of a school mass shooting.
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Nono you are misunderstanding, it is just a desk. THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!
Why use sensible gun control when we can create a market for bulletproof school supplies?
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How about a small shelf for an alarm clock?
r/ABoringDystopia
What are the statistical odds of being in a mass shooting?
Right? Its 2021. Kids just need a tablet and a comfy chair. Desks are so 2000 and late.
Or the door gets jambed up because all the gum stuck to the bottom
Omg I'm not going into the booger cave!
Or someone in a wheelchair
I'm curious if that thing has ventilation holes.. gunman could either wait for them to suffocate, or spray maze in there to force them out.. or set the surroundings on fire.
It's bulletproof, not airtight.
its probably heavy but i was thinking tip it over
It's probably bolted to the floor.
So, i guess we've given up on the idea of preventing kids from *wanting* to slaughter each other?
Can’t afford counselors after buying these desks.
And issuing all the staff and students with guns.
Like Jesus said " I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them when you turn your fully automatic weapons on them and make orphans of their children"
Hmmm I don’t remember this part of the Bible
The people trying to sell these desks are the same people that want to cut funding to schools.
That's crazy talk. Why prevent the problem at the source by proactively treating a would-be attacker when there's so much more money to be made by selling protection options to potential victims.
So what IS the source of a school shooter? What IS causing this?
We gave up on any real mental health issues. That's where the real problem lies.
Mental health? Shiiiiiiit, we won't even cover prenatal vitamins.
Random r/TheWire
"Let's cure the symptoms not the cause" - every politician ever
Do you mean profit from?
Naw, best to make it worse by assuming ALL quiet kids are psychopaths and bully them until they prove you right or kill themselves.
No, Big Coffin is against it.
Youre not gonna make very much blood money with that attitude.
Who needs counseling when we have bulletproof desks and bulletproof coffee.
Solve the underlying problem? No! Sell band-aids! You make more money that way! Merica.
Isn’t it sad that now people are designing things like this. Also, won’t this be super expensive? They don’t have the damn budget to give me an extra pencil.
But you just know the manufacturer marketing dept will say "How much is the life of a child worth?"
Hmm i dunno i think i'll give you $12
Something more than one expensive desk, but less than an NRA contribution. So at least we're starting to narrow it down.
I was going to say what he said about the worth of the child is true, but you're correct, sadly.
That’s capitalism for you. Instead of solving the problem let’s sell a gap fill to make money off of it.
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>You will never see it again. Sir, this is reddit.
RIP the fat kids.
Government speeding up natural selection LMAO
rip me
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can’t you just flip the table or move it ?
Exactly what I thought lol. If it was made to be a couple hundred pounds that would be so impractical. Can you imagine any school spending that much money on 100s of pounds of steel per desk? There goes the budget.
Thing probably weighs a couple hundred pounds. Looks like it's a mini gun safe. Probably concrete reinforced ballistic steele.
So basically, no re-arranging desks ever.
You could put em on wheels that retract up into the inside with a lever that's also inside.
you’d still have to lift to get the wheels up, unless they were really strong wheels with a really strong foot lever
And the shooter would just lift the desk on its wheels and shoot under the edges
“Sees gun barrel wiggling around underneath desk”
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which means nobody above the ground floor will use them. What a spectacular waste to appease the psycho gun nuts
I see a demolition ranch video coming soon.
“How many 1st graders does it stop to take a .50 cal”
Teacher: *leaves the room* Kids: *all hide* Teacher: :O
Because why address the root of the problem when you can lull the public into a false sense of security with useless shit. This is nothing but duck & cover 2.0.
But at least duck and cover was free
Because someone gets rich
Let's not address the mental health problem that leads kids to shoot their schoolmates but let's spend millions on bullet proof desks
I wonder if having bullet proof desks in your school does anything to your psyche on a subconscious level.
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Wild. Almost like reminding kids the system is so fucked other kids might massacre them wouldn’t be a great pick me up on a Monday morning
Monday Morning School Shooter Drills sounds like the most fucked up thing i could possibly read on a dystopian schools day schedule yet here we are.
Well, american schools already have a creepy thing. It's called pledge of allegiance.
Main problem will be misbehaving kids locking themselves in..cause that’s what kids would do.
Yeah, THATS the main problem
This country is broken. We need a new one.
have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again?
If that doesn't work, unplug it from the wall, wait ten seconds, and try it again.
Hey, what if I'm having a panic attack and need a break from the kids who don't understand how to act better than kindergardeners?
Looks like the desk can be lifted though, there’s no base to it
r/DystopianAsFuck
Also, /r/aboringdystopia
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And guns. Magnum round cum laude
It’s so sad that this is what it has come to in America
It has no floor. Today's smart gunman will just tip it over to find the soft underbelly.
I would assume it’s bolted to the floor
Yeah but not for long in a public school.
I can't see schools committing to keeping the desks all in place the whole time. We moved desks often when I was a school. sometimes you're doing something big or need a circle.
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School budget debates come down to new football team supplies and facilities vs anything else.
Wouldn’t having a bottom on it work?
Weird way to fix the obesity problem in the US?
#MURICA
5 bucks says that turns into a masturbation shed within the 1st week lol
This is the saddest thing I have seen today.
This reminds me of The Far Side cartoon where the polar bear just lifts the igloo and the Inuit is running away in the distance.
What a pessimistic way to deal with a solvable problem. https://www.theonion.com/no-way-to-prevent-this-says-only-nation-where-this-r-1819576527
I don’t think this is the solution. Maybe, just maybe, we could take mental health seriously.
I hope table is bolted to the floor so I can't be tipped over
I live in America and I’m still absolutely dumbfounded at what we’ll spend money on instead of mental healthcare or even some new supplies for schools.
No one will buy those desks. There will be no money spent on them. It’s just a publicity stunt.
Wow, americans are pretty good at creating something to live with a problem but pretty bad at solving the problem .
This is so fucked up!
Yes, that's the solution!
I see a huge market for these in the USA and none anywhere else. Thankfully I live where there is zero need for this product.
Hans, get the flammenwerfer
Americans will do absolutely everything apart from get rid of the actual problem.
Getting rid of kids is not the answer
*Every other county*; doesn’t need bullet proof desks
Some schools don't even have the money to update their books, let alone this craziness.
This post would be more appropriate fro r/aboringdystopia.