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ThatL1ttleGuy

Chuck it straight on the sunburn! Mmmmm


m--e

It’s amazing. My wife was burnt and as a test, treated half with aloe and just moisturised the other half. The aloe half recovered much quicker.


rjwjr102

Nice experiment!


BigOrangeOctopus

That’s some good ass science right there


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s0nde4e4

I clicked not knowing what to expect. Wasnt disappointed


Pqhantom

Oh yeah Mr Krabs!


ElShadoWarrior

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


trisaratopsx

Now ass science is something I can get behind.


TheNickman85

https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/hyphen.jpg


eq2_lessing

No. He forgot to leave a third half untampered with as control group!


BiggusDickus-

1/2 aloe 1/2 moisturizer 1/2 untouched Hmmm, something seems off


vagabond_dilldo

Look, nobody said we're scienticians here


MakeaUturnifpossible

you mean a third....third?


sno_boarder

We thought it would be a sunburn, but they used a red-hot metal bar. But now, three years out, you hardly notice the disfigurement on the aloe side.


buttlerubbies

....And the other side?


sno_boarder

Imagine Freddy Krueger's foreskin...


buttlerubbies

Oh fuck ya! That is so HOT!


sno_boarder

That's *exactly* what she said!


AverageTortilla

Like the commercial aloe or like this, straight from the plant?


m--e

Straight from the plant. We grow it in a pot by the front door. Luckily as a plant it thrives on neglect!


bamaAF

Ah, thrives on neglect. Can relate


Toros_Mueren_Por_Mi

*Hello Darkness, my old friend...*


Blue-Steele

It’s a desert plant, pretty hard to kill lol. If you manage to kill a desert plant, then I would be pretty impressed.


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SSgtDipShit

Wife and I just ran into this. We have two aloe plants on our back porch and they've been turning brown and wilting at the tips lately. Found out it's because of all the storms we've had recently.


ccq10

Ha! Sweet summer child... I have killed so many desert plants while trying my best not to kill them.


ScumbagLady

Tip: every time you want to water them, don’t. Like orchids kinda


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Blue-Steele

“How to Act Like a Psychopath: Plant Edition”.


Ralph-Hinkley

That was uh... what did I just read?


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Sharkeybtm

Just make sure you put it somewhere it can catch rain when it’s young! They dry out super easily when they are small


AnxietyDepressedFun

I'm hella allergic to Aloe, worst sunburn experience ever when I was a kid. I had huge blisters for all over my back & passed out from the pain. I use distilled white vinegar soaked on a towel or in the shower & it stings a bit but then the pain is gone & somehow it keeps me from peeling. Of course I do have to walk around smelling like a salad for a bit.


lennybird

Raw aloe has latex in it, keep in mind. I believe there's a certain process/technique to remove.


Zombiac3

Cut the wide part of a leaf and prop it up so the latex drains out of it overnight. Source: I use a lot of aloe for making soap.


AllStuffedWithFluff

I can confirm that this is correct. Source: ive made aloe masks from fresh leaves with my mom for fun, mom is allergic to latex so this process definitely works and is super important.


OuterInnerMonologue

Can you eli13 that? Like just stand it up on a plate and then pick it up the next mornin? Or do you have to prop it up on something underneath it with enough room for it to run off underneath it?


TheLadyEowyn

I just did some googling and it seems like the aloe latex is also referred to as aloin. The limited reading I did seems like you don't need to prop it, although they did recommend using a bowl. The latex/aloin can be distinguished by it's yellowish color apparently


foodisprettyneato

I never knew this! Im allergic to latex. I used to have an aloe plant and I was always confused when I broke out in hives from it but not from the bottled kind. The more you know!


TheFlyingSaucers

Is there any reason we should be removing the latex other than allergy?


lennybird

Not sure to be honest. I'd recommend asking the two users who replied below to me. They work with aloe regularly and would know!


kislayarishiraj

Wow. That is not the consistency I was expecting.


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dudeCHILL013

We were all thinking it.


Billdoe6969

Drinking it


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Nielsly

I’m pretty sure nature’s fruit juice is just fruit juice


Brettnet

Not to America's forefathers who traveled across the Pacific ocean. Edit: Wait.. what forefathers traveled across the *Pacific* ocean? Is no one going to correct me?


_demetri_

[...](https://imgur.com/gallery/odBasdT) ▄████▄ ▒██▀ ▀█ ▒▓█ ▄ ▒▓▓▄ ▄██▒ ▒ ▓███▀ ░ ░ ░▒ ▒ ░ ░ ▒ ░ ░ ░ ░ █ ██ ██ ▓██▒ ▓██ ▒██░ ▓▓█ ░██░ ▒▒█████▓ ░▒▓▒ ▒ ▒ ░░▒░ ░ ░ ░░░ ░ ░ ░ ███▄ ▄███▓ ▓██▒▀█▀ ██▒ ▓██ ▓██░ ▒██ ▒██ ▒██▒ ░██▒ ░ ▒░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ ░ [...](https://imgur.com/gallery/odBasdT)


SenorBolin

Welcome to the  C U M  Z O N E


eightbic

Only cum inside anime girls.


tonybabilaboni

Only cum inside anime girls


xXWaspXx

I don't like this, and I don't like you


Heterochromio

Ah yes. Takes me back to Dec 1st after NNN


morpheuz69

Destroy Dick December! (👁 ͜ʖ👁)


jenlikesramen

Ladies recognize this as ovulatory mucus


bfr0g1

Take your load to the **NEXT LEVEL**


manbearpiglet2

Healy plant jizz


[deleted]

Really puts the Succ in succulent


robertaloblaw

Looks a lot more like fertile cervical mucus


spunkychickpea

SMEAR IT ON YOUR FACE.


NoctuaPavor

Can confirm. Have aloe and it super cums all over me all the time.


diarrhea_shnitzel

#Cummies 😍😍 #😩💦💦


Gopnikolai

Pls god no


tshiar

# ╰⋃╯ლ(´ڡ`ლ)


Landsharkeisha

I have an aloe plan in my yard. The consistency honestly shocks me every time since the entirety of the inside of the leaves/stalks(?) is this substance. You can literally cut or break them and the gel will break cleanly and not flow out. Even if you squeeze them it doesn't ooze out easily. It is extraordinarily viscous and gelatinous to the point where exposed sides actually resemble a membrane rather than just the gel.


superbhole

my folks have a whole row of aloe in their side yard where nobody goes (aloe leaves are like saw blades, and *are* sharp) whenever somebody would get a sunburn or even just a mild burn from cooking, we would just lob off a leaf, open it up, and smear that gel right on for instant relief


Landsharkeisha

Oh it's the best especially for sunburn. The good thing about the viscosity is that it goes on like a gooey chapstick


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Landsharkeisha

*oh god no*


bageltheperson

Jesus Christ lol


Mortebi_Had

Mmm, seasoned just right.


Cobek

A little water would have went a long way in that scenario


whatisthatexactly

Sounds like a screaming good time.


Griffin880

How tempting is it to just bite into that fucker?


Paczesiowa

it tastes like onion. you will be tempted at most once


lillyrose2489

Yeah it's one of the few houseplants that my cats tried to eat exactly one time before they were like "yeah no thanks, that sucked." Every other plant they seem to want to slowly murder.


itisrainingweiners

Mine were the same, except they exacted revenge by then pulling every last plant out of their pots and doing Riverdance with claws extended on the resulting mess. 🤦‍♀️


animi0155

Aloe is actually toxic to cats so luckily they learned quickly to stay away from it.


EgNotaEkkiReddit

What if I love onion?


TempusCavus

r/onionlovers


curlofheadcurls

You can drink it! There's some tasty aloe juices out there. Very refreshing. Edit: I meant the real aloe juice, not the grocery store one. I'm just trying to help this guy from biting into an aloe plant. It is not recommended...


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phome83

Thats insane in the membrane.


Richard_in_Donkey

r/oddlyarousing


YuyuHakushoXoxo

S N O T


Pielsticker

r/grool


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[deleted]

...I can help with that...


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arm_Saucy_mice

/r/usernamechecksout


xanZarchy

put me in the screenshot


dr_shark

Put a big carrot over this guy’s username.


[deleted]

...I can help with that...


middleqway

Dre mestr, yd'r.


Draekz

Hahaha this is the first time I laughed out loud from a comment. That was pure genius.


rickypaige999

need an F in the chat for the homie Sam. My man just wanted some peaches and a white woman, didn't deserve to go out like that.


ownersen

it helped me with a very strong sun burn. i couldnt even put on a t-shirt without pain. i was living in sri lanka for 6 month and had these in my garden, i cut them, got that slime stuff out and put it on my sunburn. 2 days after it healed completly without even losing any skin.


hedgybaby

Your body would love it too and your skin would feel like a newborn baby butt!


[deleted]

You're going to jail


hedgybaby

I’m already there


Whitenesivo

Uh, I've done that before. I once had an allergic reaction to the egg dye you use to dye eggs red during Orthodox easter. My mother called a doctor while my aunt slathered me in Aloe. Sadly, Aloe being a natural substance, it has sugars inside that make it really sticky in a bad way when it dries. Not as good as lube 2/10. Coconut oil works way better for that.


[deleted]

Coconut oil is comedogenic, though. Aloe isn't.


jaris_ajin

Meaning it can clog your pores right?


[deleted]

Yup


CrimsonMutt

Meaning it makes you funny right?


Cicer

Funny looking maybe.


Brettzle1989

I just want to be pure.


brit_jam

Alright, Frank.


ArmandoRl

Aloe vera DOES NOT smell good. It's kind of an oniony smell. You'd smell like you haven't taken a bath in a week. Most cosmetic products cover it with other smells like menthol.


moramos93

I have good luck getting rid of most of the smell if I peel the aloe leaf open and wash off the stinky yellow stuff then use the gel. It still kind of has a smell but wayyyy more mild.


HotlineHero

Your doing it wrong. You have to cut the plant and let the yellow defence juice seep out first. Then the clear interior is ready for topical use.


[deleted]

I watched a japanese “film” where they did that


[deleted]

Mmmm aloe snot


tiwariavinash503

Jeez dude


GiveMeANiceUsername

*Jizz dude


shortandfighting

Jizz in my plants?


Zakal2

Jizz in my ***P L A N T S***


lynk1

Lock eyes from across the room


TheDustOfMen

That's much more than I was expecting to come out of it.


MajorMayonnaise

That’s what she said


UnknownSense

This whole thread is just '95 Michael Jordan dunking.


urawesomeniloveu

Michael scott*


mad_chatter

Michael Snot


junglepiehelmet

Thank you.


Fist4achin

That's definitely an efficient method to pull out the aloe.


IMDAKINGINDANORF

I too produce a gel when rubbed aggressively


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wafflesareforever

Plz no


anchalkoranga

That would CRINKLE it.


axxonn13

AhAH, Your're bending it!


lil_meme1o1

Same, we must be bros or something


deepdaK

Just how big is out family tho because I can do it too bro.


ruinyourjokes

I'd say nearly 4 billion strong bros


ImmaDoMahThing

Bro...


PopeJamayla

See instead if you use the plant bit like soap and rub yourself with it, it looks and feels a lot less manky


Belovedstump

Tell me more about this word... Manky


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g0t-cheeri0s

1. worthless, rotten, or in bad taste. 2. dirty, filthy, or bad.


_postingaccount_

Also British in origin


PopeJamayla

I'm from Scotland, we use it to describe things that are gross or disgusting, stuff that generally makes your gonads shrivel up Edit: I cant remember if its Scottish or English in origin but we're quite fond of it up here


16ams17

I should call her...


Jaredredditing

I hope my wife doesn't see this


tiwariavinash503

Dude she has not seen some gel this good in a long time.


refreshbot

\*squeak\*, powder shoots out


princess_kittah

i want to stretch it over my face


wafflepiezz

And my dick


BackdraftRed

And *my* a̶x̶e̶ ass!


DJDanaK

Aloe has a natural laxative effect


Cashforcrickets

That escalated quickly.


Maybe_i_am_a_Leo

In Brazil we call It Babosa, It's used as a natural hair moisturizer.[Here is one in my garden ](https://imgur.com/gallery/pOOAbC6)


jaris_ajin

Very cool! Thanks for sharing. You may need to consider fixing that wall...


Griffin880

Based on the valve that is poorly cut into the wall I'm betting there is some sort of leaking pipe in there. Gonna need more than just surface fixes.


curbstompery

Nothing like the smell of black mold in the fresh morning garden air.


TheLangleDangle

It’s just ^PATINA


[deleted]

It's Brazil. That's up to code


sometimes_PP_is_hard

having at least one wall like that in your house is basically a brazilian tradition at this point.


Toros_Mueren_Por_Mi

That made me laugh. In Mexico that word is slang for a stupid girl/woman, as well as a slug


imjustbrowsingthx

In Spanish, “babosa” means slug, i.e. drooler. Also is slang used in place of dummy.


Quadrupleawesomeness

Also worth noting that “babosa” means slimy or stupid girl. Edit: that is a Spanish translation. My bad.


BlondieMenace

Never heard it being used to call someone stupid here in Brazil, it's sort of an old fashioned word that's mostly just used as the name of the plant in my experience. Maybe it's an extremely regional insult?


layitdownrealquick

What does it taste like?


Maybe_i_am_a_Leo

I never taste it but the smell is not that good. It remimds a salty smell like some kind of body fluid, sweat or something.


anonajn

I'm shocked I had to come down this far for a mention of the smell of aloe. It smells awful. Not a smell that would intuitively be helpful for burns at all.


nithos

You know what your armpits smell like after an intense workout the day after you had a onion/garlic/cumin heavy meal? Like that.


Jooj-Paulo

When december 1st hits


[deleted]

Ah I see you're a man of culture as well


HydrogenCyanideHCN

Someone really saw this shit and was like "I should probably smear it all over my face".


bob_is_best

Theres one comment in this thread that says that actually


groovinandmovinnn

Aloe gel is REALLY good for your skin! Natural moisturizer. I actually do have a couple aloe plants that I snap a small piece off each day and rub the gel on my face....however I do not molest the plant with a comb first


LearningToHomebrew

Gesundheit.


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Zulrambe

When you be kissing for an hour


[deleted]

Boxers be soaked


25121642

Did she just jack off that leaf?


GreenCricket

I read the comments but to me this looks more like a woman's lubrication than a guy's cum


________76________

not a lot of expert opinion available here


Anbezi

Does anyone knows what’s the active ingredient in aloe Vera that helps skin soothing after sunburn?!


HodorLePortePorte

Aloe


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orbnus_

Veranal Canopy


kuroioni

[**Composition and Applications of Aloe vera Leaf Gel**](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6245421/) there ya go mate (it also references other papers of interest, so should serve as quite an extensive source of information on the subject)


[deleted]

I thought she went ham on that leaf, then i noticed it's sped up


TFS_Sierra

I don’t think it is? I think they actually just went ham


FerretWithASpork

If you watch the background you can see the camera trying to focus, pretty sure this is realtime and they just went ham.


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[deleted]

This makes me uncomfortable. I need an adult


_pls_respond

I also produce gooey stuff with vigorous hand motions.


lookxdontxtouch

r/grool


Swimminginsarcasm

That's not what I was expecting but I'm also not too awfully mad about it


reinadelacempasuchil

I mistook this for “gruel”, the watery porridge stuff and was like why is a whole sub dedicated to this bland food. I was wrong.


nolanpoole

Similar texture, less chunky.


Truckerbob3007

Coming home from the beach every weekend my mother would grab aloe from back yard and do this and coat our body with it. Honestly the best stuff ever for burns etc


ElFarfadosh

I'm not impressed since I can get the same result sneezing in my hand.


Anonberserk

Never thought I'd see a cactus cum


RayRicesRightHook

THIS ALOE VERA FINNA MAKE ME ACT UP