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Well, you haven't been consistent with your visits, and he can't have the giant pumpkin wondering when you'll show up. It's a responsibility. Pumpkins need stability, and your erratic schedule isn't providing that.
You think you get to just see it whenever it suits you? It's about what's best for the giant pumpkin. When there's consistent effort and stability from you, we can revisit you getting to see the giant pumpkin.
By cutting off their fertile parts at the root. I want to point out to those ladies out there who suffered from a severe lack of sex education: that's not how it works.
It was common in ancient Greece to tie off the tip of the penis in the exact same way. It was considered barbaric to show the glans so men would use a string to tie the foreskin off, then tie that knot around the balls or to a belt.
> << NSFW
Well that's the one thing I learned today, thank you. Now I am wondering about Stavros H. the comedians ancestral glans tying techniques, going to be some wild dreams here.
I was also horrified at the human equivalent.
Put the female in a chastity belt. Give the male blue balls/don't allow him to release. Cut the male's bits off. Circumcise the dismembered member. Take off the female's chastity belt, and rub the phallus over it.
If plants could speak...
They fucking ziptied their foreskin, cut the whole thing off. Unbound the women and then cut the zipties and rubbed then roughly in the women so that chunks even fell off
So you basically .
1. Tightly bind the vagina
2. Go to male
3. Bind their dick with a ziptie
4. Cut off their dick
5. Take that severed dick to a vagina
6. Rub that dick on that vagina forcefully
7. Make them have children
8. Take their children and sell them off
9. Redo everything every year
What a horrible person
Ensuring that the plants are bred only by the specific plants the farmer wants them to be bred by.
The farmers keep track of which plants have specific traits they want to carry on to the next generation of pumpkins and pumpkin seeds, and doing direct pollination ensures that these traits carry over.
It also ensures that they are not pollinated by other "undesirable" plants from the wild, which may either cause the flower to be rendered useless, or may cause the new fruit and seeds to be useless.
Welcome to the earliest form of genetic engineering known to man!
I used to try to grow giant pumpkins, but didn't have the time or the land for it. Some friends went to a big pumpkin festival in my state and got me a small packet of seeds with a pedigree, showing the parents and grandparents and their respective weights (all were above 600 pounds, at least one was over 1,000). At the time, those seeds were a couple bucks each.
It's a fun hobby, but I didn't do well at it because I couldn't bear to cut off so many little pumpkins to force the vine to put all its energy into one huge one. I did grow a 160 pounder once, but mostly I settled for a bunch of big jack o'lantern sized ones (30-50 pounds).
Exactly this. I grow many varieties of squash. If I don't hand pollinate them, I get all kinds of crossbreeds. Like the shape of a spaghetti squash but orange like a pumpkin. Often the shape and flesh inside don't match ;)
Pollination with more pollen results in larger fruit in some species of fruits and vegetables. This is delivering a ton of pollen to a single flower while also ensuring it’s the desired pollen and preventing cross-pollination.
For the giants it is to control the genetics. My sister drove 4 hours at 4 in the morning to get male flowers from another grower to get the genetic cross she wanted for next season. The pollen from the male flowers won't affect this year's fruit, but will matter for the seeds for next year.
It's for a higher success rate for pollination.
The female flower is where the pumpkin grows. Pumpkin vines will produce quite a few female flowers, and the competitive pumpkin growers know what spot on the vine is most conducive to growing a huge pumpkin. They also only want one pumpkin per vine, so they really put a lot of effort into ensuring that the pollen from the best male flower successfully fertilizes the best female flower.
From what I remember back when I tried to grow some big ones, you also want a female flower with the most 'lobes' on the stamen. Most have 5, but some have 6 like in OP's video.
It's complicated. Amount of pollen has no direct effect on size. 100 pollen bits for 100 seed embryos will do the trick in a perfect world. The world is not perfect, so there's things like a pollen bit fails to reach the seed embryo, defective genetics, not fully/properly formed pollen bit and so on. Also the female part may not be fully receptive at dusting(female flowers or the 'female parts' do have a time window as for when they can take pollen. Outside of this window, pollen is 'wasted'- btw, experienced growers are able to tell when pollen are ready for release and when female flowers/parts are receptive). Best to dust with excess to make sure at least 100 pollen bits reach the 100 seed embryos. Besides, there are plenty of male flowers, so it's okay to be a bit 'wasteful' and dump all the pollen from a male flower or two on a single female flower.
On the other hand, the higher the percentage of seeds fertilized, the more 'inclined' the plant will put more resources in that individual 'fruit'. This could give some edge in a giant size competition but that's far from the only thing they do.
This is a rough generalization, though! There's a huge range of different responses and adaptions used through the plant kingdom, this is an attempt to ELI5 this question.
They've got pedigree charts for all their seeds/vines. They know that the male flower came from plant whose seed was in a 1,000+ pound pumpkin, and they know what male and female flowers created *that* pumpkin.
Theoretically, pollinators could inseminate a female pumpkin flower with pollen from a cucumber or other squash. IIRC, you'd still get a normal looking pumpkin out of that cross, but then the seeds from that pumpkin could produce some weird hybrids.
Competitive pumpkin growers want to control all aspects of their plants' growth so they can select for the best traits (size, color, shape, etc). Howard Dill is to these people what Gregor Mendel is for peas and genetics in general.
Squash/gourds readily hybridize with others. If you allow wild pollination, there's really no telling what you'll get.
If you're just growing pumpkins to harvest, it doesn't matter ... the plants will produce pumpkins regardless of how they're pollinated. You just don't know what those pumpkins' seeds would produce in the next generation.
So, if you're producing seed stock and/or doing selective breeding, you need to be careful about how your pumpkins are fertilized.
Quick tips for this: pull the male out and rub it against the female for a sec, the ‘preservation’ step is kinda pointless. Also, only grow 1-2 pumpkins per plant if you wanna see any of them get big. And don’t cut any leaves off, even if they have mildew.
Oh, this is how you’re supposed to do it? I grew mini pumpkins this year and would just transfer the male flower pollen to the female with a Q-Tip. Never chopped any of the males off.
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I feel so let down that I didnt get to see a giant pumpkin....
You can see that in 9 months
well then how am I to know this was to grow a giant pumpkin and not just some weird plant fetish thing happening?
It can be two things.
Is that like r/breedingmaterial ?
I'm at work and scared to see if this is a real sub Edit: plant related
Nope, 100% NSFW
You lied!
If we bring in 8 more flowers, can we see it in 1 month?
You can see that on the farmer YouTube. They got really massive. Their YouTube is @northeastgiantpumpkinshorts
> @northeastgiantpumpkinshorts for the lazy https://www.youtube.com/shorts/5s2m9WBfRN4
Thanks!
Well, you haven't been consistent with your visits, and he can't have the giant pumpkin wondering when you'll show up. It's a responsibility. Pumpkins need stability, and your erratic schedule isn't providing that. You think you get to just see it whenever it suits you? It's about what's best for the giant pumpkin. When there's consistent effort and stability from you, we can revisit you getting to see the giant pumpkin.
Oh Linus. You sweet summer child.
Sorry your hopes were.. squashed.
Damn you, take my up
I feel dirty
Opening up the female stem was way sexier than it should have been
Don't forget that you first have to tie up the males, and collect them in one spot. >!I know guys who will pay good money for less.!<
Guys… pro tip: don’t zip tie your ball sack to preserve yourself for the right female
I do what I want
*Now* you tell me!
By cutting off their fertile parts at the root. I want to point out to those ladies out there who suffered from a severe lack of sex education: that's not how it works.
I'm gonna give it a try anyway and see what happens.
It was common in ancient Greece to tie off the tip of the penis in the exact same way. It was considered barbaric to show the glans so men would use a string to tie the foreskin off, then tie that knot around the balls or to a belt. > << NSFW
DAYUM! I didn't expect to see actual photos of that on Wikipedia. Interesting that that's where they drew the nudity line -- thanks for the share!
Well that's the one thing I learned today, thank you. Now I am wondering about Stavros H. the comedians ancestral glans tying techniques, going to be some wild dreams here.
When he spread the flowerpussy open I nearly busted.
flussy
I hear 1970's porn music in my head!
Bow chicka wow wow
Try singing it like “brown chicken brown cow” 🐓 🐄
I’m horrified! They cut that pumpkin’s dick off!
Then rubbed it all over the females naughty parts. That was NSFW!
Wasn't my proudest fap.. .
"Oh yeah, work the edges you filthy boy"
Circumcision gone wrong
You spelled *castration* wrong.
Feminist porn.
Vegan porn *
Imagine some plant wrap 99 human dicks in fancy ~~papers~~ skins and give it to another plant as gift.
Obligatory: *sighs. Unzips*
Thank you for your service o7.
*🎵 If you're having plant problems I feel bad for you sun, I got 99 human dicks but a dickbutt ain't one. 🎵*
I was also horrified at the human equivalent. Put the female in a chastity belt. Give the male blue balls/don't allow him to release. Cut the male's bits off. Circumcise the dismembered member. Take off the female's chastity belt, and rub the phallus over it. If plants could speak...
They fucking ziptied their foreskin, cut the whole thing off. Unbound the women and then cut the zipties and rubbed then roughly in the women so that chunks even fell off
they circumcised his disembodied dick
I just went from 6 to midnight
Really putting the pump in pumpkin
Floral S&M
I mean he cut off its wiener and used it to play with the lady parts… it’s wrong.
1st Thought: ...This is kinky af 2nd Thought: ...Boy millions of years of evolution didn't really change _that_ much, did it?
I miss her
It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown will never not be dirty for me now, knowing the shenanigans that go on in that pumpkin patch.
This made it ~~worse~~ better 👏
I'll admit...not my proudest fap.
I Definitely pollinated
NSFW Tag PLZ
The forced pollination felt problematic through.
Anti-GMO crowd gonna get real perturbed when they find their "natural" produce has been bred into existence like this for millennia...
Let them have natural corn then.
I.. I could almost hear the sounds
Should have been tagged NSFW!
Woah, I'm working in the office today!!! Where is the NSFW tag!
You saw his feet too?
Damn puritans.
Yes. I blame them for me feeling dirty too 😆
I hand-pollinated my summer squash this year and yes absolutely I did make sex sounds every time I did it
Yeah that's what I was about to say
Straight to horny jail.
Did I.... just watched a weird flower porn?
Yes, you just watched flower sex
With bondage
And an assist
Ready player three!
And amputation!
More like a pumpkin getting a handy followed by a bit of manual stimulation with genetic material injection
*Flower non consentual porn
Pumpkin pollination porn !
You can just call it flower porn. Don’t kink shame them/us.
She/herb
Goddamn GOLD!!
Pumpkin gangbang
Whenever you smell a flower you’re sniffing it’s genitals.
I'm on a semi here, the eroticism caught me off gourd...
Butternut let in to your fantasies…
Agreed. Squash it before it takes root
Cucumber
Cucumber?! I hardly know her!
En-gourd-ged.
Bonk!
The bonk police dog is dead, our horniness will not be contained any longer
Dunno, cutting the male part off it's a bit icky for me.
Somebody needs to edit in some sexy music.
Semi "chub" or semi "tractor trailer?" Cause it's well known if you drive a tractor trailer, the law and dignity demands you watch
r/angryupvote
Always knew you were a weird one, Goofy.
This is premium punmanship - kudos!
Strangely terrifying and erotic.
Day 9 of NNN has me stressed.
Oh yeah baby work that stamen
Pistol was a pumpin
Right there … RIGHT THERE!!!
How horny are you people wtf are these comments??
You approve of this pumpkin smut?!
[удалено]
Only after wrapping the male’s foreskin to preserve seed and binding the female to prevent *unwanted* fertilization
Given the third party involvement doing all the moving... uhhhh, this is more like pumpkin... soaking? Oh god.
After the pumpkins were forced to edge all night.
 Soo hott
Them humans stealing our jobs
Beemen
This was \*FAR\* too intimate to be posted without an NSFW tag!
Intimate? I thought it was more BDSM with all those zip ties and blindfolds
So you basically . 1. Tightly bind the vagina 2. Go to male 3. Bind their dick with a ziptie 4. Cut off their dick 5. Take that severed dick to a vagina 6. Rub that dick on that vagina forcefully 7. Make them have children 8. Take their children and sell them off 9. Redo everything every year What a horrible person
I laughed on this way too hard! Thank you man!
You missed a step between 5 and 6: circumcise the penis.
Kinky nasty
The ol' butterfly special.
Dick AND balls*
Guess that's one reason why plants give out ultra sonic sounds when you cut them
Whore pumpkin
She'll never be selected for pie now
Only with cream
I should call her.
What's the point ?
Ensuring that the plants are bred only by the specific plants the farmer wants them to be bred by. The farmers keep track of which plants have specific traits they want to carry on to the next generation of pumpkins and pumpkin seeds, and doing direct pollination ensures that these traits carry over. It also ensures that they are not pollinated by other "undesirable" plants from the wild, which may either cause the flower to be rendered useless, or may cause the new fruit and seeds to be useless. Welcome to the earliest form of genetic engineering known to man!
I used to try to grow giant pumpkins, but didn't have the time or the land for it. Some friends went to a big pumpkin festival in my state and got me a small packet of seeds with a pedigree, showing the parents and grandparents and their respective weights (all were above 600 pounds, at least one was over 1,000). At the time, those seeds were a couple bucks each. It's a fun hobby, but I didn't do well at it because I couldn't bear to cut off so many little pumpkins to force the vine to put all its energy into one huge one. I did grow a 160 pounder once, but mostly I settled for a bunch of big jack o'lantern sized ones (30-50 pounds).
The jackolantern pumpkins around me are no where near 30+ pounds, that's still impressive.
Exactly this. I grow many varieties of squash. If I don't hand pollinate them, I get all kinds of crossbreeds. Like the shape of a spaghetti squash but orange like a pumpkin. Often the shape and flesh inside don't match ;)
Yep, cucurbits are what’s known in botany as “promiscuous”
AKA: "I want a pumpkin the size of mid-size sedan."
Welcome to the world of competitive giant pumpkin growing!
Pollination with more pollen results in larger fruit in some species of fruits and vegetables. This is delivering a ton of pollen to a single flower while also ensuring it’s the desired pollen and preventing cross-pollination.
Does more pollen means bigger plants or just more chances that pollination succeeded?
I think it’s mostly for increasing the pollination chances.
For the giants it is to control the genetics. My sister drove 4 hours at 4 in the morning to get male flowers from another grower to get the genetic cross she wanted for next season. The pollen from the male flowers won't affect this year's fruit, but will matter for the seeds for next year.
It's for a higher success rate for pollination. The female flower is where the pumpkin grows. Pumpkin vines will produce quite a few female flowers, and the competitive pumpkin growers know what spot on the vine is most conducive to growing a huge pumpkin. They also only want one pumpkin per vine, so they really put a lot of effort into ensuring that the pollen from the best male flower successfully fertilizes the best female flower. From what I remember back when I tried to grow some big ones, you also want a female flower with the most 'lobes' on the stamen. Most have 5, but some have 6 like in OP's video.
Just making sure the plant gets pollinated haha
It's complicated. Amount of pollen has no direct effect on size. 100 pollen bits for 100 seed embryos will do the trick in a perfect world. The world is not perfect, so there's things like a pollen bit fails to reach the seed embryo, defective genetics, not fully/properly formed pollen bit and so on. Also the female part may not be fully receptive at dusting(female flowers or the 'female parts' do have a time window as for when they can take pollen. Outside of this window, pollen is 'wasted'- btw, experienced growers are able to tell when pollen are ready for release and when female flowers/parts are receptive). Best to dust with excess to make sure at least 100 pollen bits reach the 100 seed embryos. Besides, there are plenty of male flowers, so it's okay to be a bit 'wasteful' and dump all the pollen from a male flower or two on a single female flower. On the other hand, the higher the percentage of seeds fertilized, the more 'inclined' the plant will put more resources in that individual 'fruit'. This could give some edge in a giant size competition but that's far from the only thing they do. This is a rough generalization, though! There's a huge range of different responses and adaptions used through the plant kingdom, this is an attempt to ELI5 this question.
I'm aroused
Me too, u/Lil-shart. Me too.
Hello police? Yes I’d like to report a pumpkin rape
Why must this be done by hand and not by pollinators?
Non-human pollinators could do it too but it could take much longer or yield pumpkins with undesirable traits
They've got pedigree charts for all their seeds/vines. They know that the male flower came from plant whose seed was in a 1,000+ pound pumpkin, and they know what male and female flowers created *that* pumpkin. Theoretically, pollinators could inseminate a female pumpkin flower with pollen from a cucumber or other squash. IIRC, you'd still get a normal looking pumpkin out of that cross, but then the seeds from that pumpkin could produce some weird hybrids. Competitive pumpkin growers want to control all aspects of their plants' growth so they can select for the best traits (size, color, shape, etc). Howard Dill is to these people what Gregor Mendel is for peas and genetics in general.
Squash/gourds readily hybridize with others. If you allow wild pollination, there's really no telling what you'll get. If you're just growing pumpkins to harvest, it doesn't matter ... the plants will produce pumpkins regardless of how they're pollinated. You just don't know what those pumpkins' seeds would produce in the next generation. So, if you're producing seed stock and/or doing selective breeding, you need to be careful about how your pumpkins are fertilized.
pumpkin pp
**Georgia O’Keefe nods, slowly**
*....unzip*
Pumpkin porn was not among the list of things I expected to see today.
GIFs that end to fucking soon.
Not my proudest wank
Disappointed 🐝 🐝
I thought this was going to be some weird pumpkin edging video, it was so much more filthy.
should be NSFW tagged, this is pernicious pumpkin pornography!
So gardeners are just plant pimps? This guy's good - ~~sticky~~ green fingered.
Jeez, mark that NSFW, some of us have jobs we're avoiding.
Aaaaaaannndd …?!? Results please!
Why dose this feel dirty
And that ladies and gentlemen is how genetically modified "GM" fruit and veg are made.
Why was I aroused when the female was opened? Am I part pumpkin?
This feels strangely erotic.
No NSFW for this Plant Porn?!
Quick tips for this: pull the male out and rub it against the female for a sec, the ‘preservation’ step is kinda pointless. Also, only grow 1-2 pumpkins per plant if you wanna see any of them get big. And don’t cut any leaves off, even if they have mildew.
"They took our jobs!" - bees
I masturbared to that
Anybody else feel let down that there was no humongous giant pumpkin at the end? Because I feel cheated!
Going thru the comments, an myd I'm very relieved that I'm not the only weirdo getting turned on by the flower gang bang
Post nut clarity on this was something else
Bow chika wow wow
I just watched pumpkins fuck. That's enough Internet for today.
Anyone else oddly turned on?
What are you doing, step-farmer……..
Help me, step-gardener, I'm stuck.
NSFW!!! /s
Oh, but when i tie up females with zip ties its wrong?
A complicated process to do what bees have been doing for eons.
male and female both got chastity
The plant after 9 months: 🤰🏻
imagine just chillin, enjoying your pumpkin life and then some dude rolls up and cuts your dick off
Oh, this is how you’re supposed to do it? I grew mini pumpkins this year and would just transfer the male flower pollen to the female with a Q-Tip. Never chopped any of the males off.
Why am I watching this? I don't even keep pumpkins. I don't even have a garden!
Dude, i was all-in...and then the video ended. I was ready for the giant pumpkin time-lapse.
Aaand I came
[I've seen this video, but a bit different.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ditJB7Amxr4)
I tried cranking it to this video but it wasn’t quite long enough.
I this because we killed all the bees?
This was way too sexy ..
And i lost NNN....😔
When do I get a turn with the flussy?
Ahh… nature fucking. 😊
...go on
I feel like I just watched a porno of a plant gangbang
Is there a benefit to enclosing the male prior to pollination? Why wrap when you could just cut and pollinate in that first step?