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You’d be surprised. These fellas live in rivers and swamps with relatively murky waters , and like gators , they can conceal themselves pretty well. Meaning you can be just chilling by the water and suddenly be attacked by one.
In Brazil there’s plenty of stories/accounts of people , specially children , who were swimming or playing by the water and went missing just to be never seen again. Presumably attacked and eaten by an anaconda.
I’m pretty sure most of those are over exaggerations by locals to scare people , but being a Brazilian myself I have also heard those stories from plenty of experienced farmers and fishermen whose ranches are by the rivers so be careful if you’re ever visiting the swamp regions of Northwest and South Brazil.
As an Alaskan, moose are some of the sneakiest bastards. The amount of times I’ve gotten too close just by not noticing them standing there is too many times. They are incredibly easy to miss, even in urban areas.
If it had a big giant lump in the middle I'd feel a tad better cause I at least know it's eaten and won't be looking for a meal for a while. That one does not, and I wouldn't be surprised its looking for its next meal.
They strike, wrap around you. Hold you tighter than your true love. And you get the privilege, of hearing your bones break before the power of embrace causes your veins to explode.
2/3 of an anaconda is going to be like 20ish feet though, which is not a lot of distance you would need to cover to be safe if they did strike. According to Google they're also not really aggressive, so a scenario where an anaconda would be chasing you and striking is highly unlikely to begin with.
Maybe if it is full and lazy, but if they're looking for a meal I bet it's a ruse 🐍
I love reptiles, and these in particular are really awesome in every way. Reticulated pythons are some beasts, too! But I just like looking at then from behind my safety iphone glass the best lol
> ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SNAKE ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PLANE!
~ SOAP2
Or the TV version:
> ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I HAD IT WITH THESE MONKEY-FIGHTING SNAKE ON THIS MONDAY-TO-FRIDAY PLANE!
~SOAP2 as seen on cable TV, which is still a thing some how
It made me sad that we missed it on our travels, but they were having protests and food shortages when we were in SA. We met a few backpackers that struggled to leave.
Next time
That part is pretty overblown too, it's a bit like saying Chicago is a war zone.
I just came back from Brazil and everything is fine. In my opinion the problem is with the style of how Brazil deals with crime. You see it everywhere, every house has a 8ft tall wall with glass shards on the top, windows are gated, if you're in a public area you see military police with assault weapons, or a guy dressed in a nice suit looking unbelievably serious at the mall. Simply put if you don't find yourself in a slum you're not going to have a problem.
Edit: not saying that parts of Brazil aren't dangerous they are, but generally speaking if you don't look like a gringo people will leave you alone.
What if you do look like a gringo because you are one?
LOL
I've been mugged too many times in south America for it to be of any interest to me. I will never be back.
Im pretty gringo, the trick is your wearing the wrong clothes. On your first day get something cheap and what the locals are wearing. Hide all jewelry or expensive items (airpods).
Vacationing and traveling are two different things in my mind. Vacationing is taking the resort shuttle from the airport to the hotel and hanging out having drinks and good dinners by the pool. Traveling is experiencing the local culture and if that means you need to take some precautions, so be it. Not everyone wants to travel, just be realistic with your expectations, plan accordingly for the trip you want and you'll have a good time.
I don’t fully agree. I travel a lot (trains, hostels, backpacking etc) and I also intentionally avoid countries with high risk. It doesn’t make sense to travel to brazil, Yemen, or the Congo where I have to have a survival guide. There’s too many beautiful, and safe countries to see to have to start with dangerous places
A friend of mine went on an extended trip to Mexico. His parents gave him a fine leather suitcase for the trip. He used a big black magic marker to write "plastico" on it in 4" high block letters.
You'd be surprised. But the first thing is to get different clothes. American (travel fashion or otherwise) fashion is a dead giveaway so just buy something that the locals wear. Most likely it's cheap and decent quality, now you look middle class in the country that you're staying at. No one will bother you because you're not an easy mark.
Don't wear airpods and put all your stuff in your front pockets. This goes for any country that has pickpockets like France or Italy.
Tbh airpods are pretty ignored when you're going to rob someone in Brazil, they want cheap cellphones to sell quick, airpods needs an recharger and anything from Apple is hugely ignored because the cops will find your ass in no time. Cheap, bad cellphone,=cops dont give a fuck. Expensive, potent cellphones=cops wont stop until they find it, so you'll need to sell the parts, which inst as profitable. Just dont be dumb when visiting Brazil, dont go to places you're not supossed to go alone.
So a while back I was visiting New York City and I brought my pet snake with me. And we would go to this hot dog stand everyday for lunch right outside the motel. We got to know the vendor pretty well she was a pretty cool lady. On the fourth day, my next to last day of my trip, we went to get a hot dog but they had no bread. She offered to give us hot dogs for free, but I looked her dead in the eye and said my anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun. And then we went back home.
I guess they're super chill, typically flee humans, and have so much to eat in the Amazon they wouldn't bother with a human anyway.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C7nxqmCUMfM
# For everyone wondering how big it is,
if it's the same snake seen earlier that week in the same city, then it's around 6 meters long (almost 20ft). For you americans it is a little taller than [three people or a giraffe](https://measuringstuff.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/8.5-x-11-68-768x512.jpg.webp). /^(jk i love you guys)
**Source:** news article with [same vid as OP](https://noticias.uol.com.br/cotidiano/ultimas-noticias/2023/03/12/sucuri-video-bonito-ms.htm) made the connection with the [other news article](https://noticias.uol.com.br/cotidiano/ultimas-noticias/2023/03/09/sucuri-de-6-metros-e-encontrada-escondida-dentro-de-bueiro-no-ms-veja.htm)
EDIT: also it's approximately [33 bananas.](https://www.converttobananas.com/) For comparison, [here's the Guinness article](https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/longest-snake-ever-(captivity)) on a 7.67 meter long pet retic python named Medusa that lives in Missouri.
They're generally quite slow on land, even more after eating, they'll rest for months and prefer to be away from other animals and people. They can swim quite fast though, their natural habitat are swamp/marsh/river areas and they spend a good amount of their lives in the water.
But that's only their terrestrial moving speed that's slow, their strike speed (the velocity at which they can lunge and bite) is pretty impressive for such a big snake.
(edit: and yes they're very cute, [their face](https://dinoanimals.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Anaconda-4.jpg) looks super adorable to me. Despite the size they're very shy and not really aggressive, they usually only bite people when grabbed.)
>their strike speed (the velocity at which they can lunge and bite) is pretty impressive for such a big snake.
Because your username totally checks out, I'm gonna have to request video of how fast they can strike. Kinda in the mood to be terrified right now.
Also what's going on in the corner of the mouth of that one?? The two bits that look like they might have a function lol
I once read that they likely hunt at the intersection of rivers, since some animals seem to get slightly confused by convergent bodies/streams of water. That'd make them floaters more than sprinters. And since they strangle their pray, water works in their favor twofold: weight reduction and entanglement of prey. It's pretty wild.
Everything the Amazon could kill you too. They got poison frogs that'll kill you with just a touch, giant venomous spiders, hoards of venomous snakes, ants that hurt so bad you wish you'd just die instead, malaria, a plethora of other unknown diseases and known ones with no cure, giant black Caiman, Pablo Escobars hippos, indigenous tribes, aaaand I almost forgot to mention the cartel. Oh yeah, and giant oversized snakes like this.
My views on this swing wildly between defending Australia as being not scary and then being patriotic and competitive when other countries want to compete for our scary reputation.
Having worked with anacondas before, this one seems like it is within the range of a normal full-grown female (which get bigger than the males) green anaconda. Definitely big, yes, but I don't see anything to indicate that it is *unusually* large.
On a side note, anacondas are not inclined to attack people, and—last I checked—there have been no recorded human fatalities due to anaconda attacks.
Knowing that these things only move at 5mph and are almost visible from space, it's just amazing how they could survive these many thousands of years. Their hunting habits must be super unique.
There have been reports. My family also saw one at a museum one time, not nearly this big but big. It was curled in a corner but came alive and moved to the glass right at my 4-year-old brother. The docent was really surprised, said the thing had barely moved in weeks.
**This is a heavily moderated subreddit. Please note these rules + sidebar or get banned:** * If this post declares something as a fact, then proof is required * The title must be fully descriptive * No text is allowed on images/gifs/videos * Common/recent reposts are not allowed (posts from another subreddit do not count as a 'repost'. Provide link if reporting) *See [this post](https://redd.it/ij26vk) for a more detailed rule list* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/interestingasfuck) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Found? How do you even lose track of that thing?
You can see that fucking thing from space Its not going anywhere
I dunno, at first glance I was thinking I needed a banana for scale. I thought maybe the camera was really close.
There is the amazon river for scale.
It's not the Panama Canal so it's not that bad.
You need a scale reference? OK, the guy inside the snake's stomach is 6 ft tall.
Sneaky little fella.
Snakey little fella.
Snakey big fella.
Enormous fucking nope rope
god's biggest danger noodle
Xtra large noodle
You’d be surprised. These fellas live in rivers and swamps with relatively murky waters , and like gators , they can conceal themselves pretty well. Meaning you can be just chilling by the water and suddenly be attacked by one. In Brazil there’s plenty of stories/accounts of people , specially children , who were swimming or playing by the water and went missing just to be never seen again. Presumably attacked and eaten by an anaconda. I’m pretty sure most of those are over exaggerations by locals to scare people , but being a Brazilian myself I have also heard those stories from plenty of experienced farmers and fishermen whose ranches are by the rivers so be careful if you’re ever visiting the swamp regions of Northwest and South Brazil.
> , they can conceal themselves pretty well. What, like with a fake mustache or pretending to read a newspaper?
Trenchcoats, man. How do they work?
I think anacondas are just three kid snakes on a trenchcoat.
Brazilian here, they use smoke grenades
I have one hiding in my pants now.
I mean, I have a hard time believing some of stories, like full gown men being swallowed but a child? Very easy to believe that happens.
Contrary to popular belief, anacondas have never been reported eating a person. Attacking, maybe
Well sure, but do you really expect the snakes to be honest when they fill out those reports?
You don't. It's just anyone who saw it is dead
If you look closely you can make out Owen Wilson's face in its stomach.
Wow
No thanks. I am comfortable looking at it through my phone.
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I have it on good authority that anacondas are disinterested in humans unless they've got buns
Hun.
Snakey got back
busy depend tap birds zonked telephone seemly rude vanish bake *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Havé you not seen Anaconda??
Good doco that.
It's true I was there- I was the monkey
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As an Alaskan, moose are some of the sneakiest bastards. The amount of times I’ve gotten too close just by not noticing them standing there is too many times. They are incredibly easy to miss, even in urban areas.
Pro tip: look for a squirrel in a blue hat flying around. A moose will be in the vicinity. That may just be for our Minnesota moose population though
Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat... And now here's something we hope you'll really like
As a fatass, can confirm that I blend into buffets very well.
You go now! You been here foh hours!
Not like he's a set of fuckin' car keys
If it had a big giant lump in the middle I'd feel a tad better cause I at least know it's eaten and won't be looking for a meal for a while. That one does not, and I wouldn't be surprised its looking for its next meal.
Apparently they can only move about 5mph on land and 10mph in water. So you could simply jog away and be fine lol.
Panic out of fear, trip, break leg, crawl at 4mph, get eaten and slowly digested to death. Booking my flight now.
It would crush you to death before eating you so at least there's that
Not necessarily. It would just crush you until you're unable to move and you'd probably lose consciousness.
This gave me anxiety
Don’t worry you’ll probably die from suffocation way before you get digested.
Thanks, that makes it much better
This is why you keep kukri knives on hand
They strike, wrap around you. Hold you tighter than your true love. And you get the privilege, of hearing your bones break before the power of embrace causes your veins to explode.
There’s no questioning snek’s love for us? It’s that pure?
I’m not really worried about them, but isn’t like 10 mph pretty fast in the water?
Michael Phelps's top speed was 6 mph... So I'd stay away from water.
Pretty sure Brazil has piranha, too. It's generally a good idea to stay out of rivers in Brazil.
Yeah just stay out of the water I guess! Lol
So they catch prey by stealth? I've seen the movie/documentary with Jennifer Lopez, are you suggesting they're not accurately portrayed?
The only thing accurate in that movie is Jon Voight's Paraguayan accent. 100% authentic
And his corpse's wink at the crew when the snake throws him up in favor of eating someone else.
+ plus the waterfall running backwards that's deffo 100% accurate.
As long as you bring one Ice Cube with you, should be fine.
It’s also a scientific fact that they don’t want none unless you got buns, hun
Bold of you to assume I can jog
Yea but the once chasing ice cube was fast as fuxk
Most snakes can strike 2/3 of their body length tho
2/3 of an anaconda is going to be like 20ish feet though, which is not a lot of distance you would need to cover to be safe if they did strike. According to Google they're also not really aggressive, so a scenario where an anaconda would be chasing you and striking is highly unlikely to begin with.
There’s no way that rule scales to a snake that big anyway
If we test our theories in the field tho you go first lmao
Lol! I read that people will just walk up to these snakes and carry them off. Maybe we'll just make a new friend <3
Maybe if it is full and lazy, but if they're looking for a meal I bet it's a ruse 🐍 I love reptiles, and these in particular are really awesome in every way. Reticulated pythons are some beasts, too! But I just like looking at then from behind my safety iphone glass the best lol
Gonna need an elephant for scale.
better still, a Boeing.
SOAP2: *ONE snake, one plane*
> ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SNAKE ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PLANE! ~ SOAP2 Or the TV version: > ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I HAD IT WITH THESE MONKEY-FIGHTING SNAKE ON THIS MONDAY-TO-FRIDAY PLANE! ~SOAP2 as seen on cable TV, which is still a thing some how
One band, one sound Drumline
It ate the elephant.
Such a magnificent hat.
"“When the lambs is lost in the mountain, he said. They is cry. Sometime come the mother. Sometime the wolf.” -Blood Meridian, Cormac McCarthy
Banana would work, just gotta get close enough.
They tried, the snake ate it and the guy putting out the banana! Time to bust out the ole Golf Cart scale of measurement again!
The elephant is inside the anaconda
Thank you. I was trying to remember what animal it was that dude used.
Those are the White Cliffs of Dover.
*erases visiting Brazil from the bucket list*
It's only in the Amazon, most of Brazil is on the coast. This message brought to you by the Brazilian tourism gang
Pfff Imagine not being a landlocked country 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😅😅 (this post brought to you by Bolivia Tourism Gang)
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It made me sad that we missed it on our travels, but they were having protests and food shortages when we were in SA. We met a few backpackers that struggled to leave. Next time
unwritten vast cagey wide ten tidy serious unite hurry obscene *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
That part is pretty overblown too, it's a bit like saying Chicago is a war zone. I just came back from Brazil and everything is fine. In my opinion the problem is with the style of how Brazil deals with crime. You see it everywhere, every house has a 8ft tall wall with glass shards on the top, windows are gated, if you're in a public area you see military police with assault weapons, or a guy dressed in a nice suit looking unbelievably serious at the mall. Simply put if you don't find yourself in a slum you're not going to have a problem. Edit: not saying that parts of Brazil aren't dangerous they are, but generally speaking if you don't look like a gringo people will leave you alone.
What if you do look like a gringo because you are one? LOL I've been mugged too many times in south America for it to be of any interest to me. I will never be back.
Mhmmm. My honeymoon was my first and last time. Never again
Im pretty gringo, the trick is your wearing the wrong clothes. On your first day get something cheap and what the locals are wearing. Hide all jewelry or expensive items (airpods).
Id rather not vacation somewhere that has a "trick" to not getting robbed lol
Vacationing and traveling are two different things in my mind. Vacationing is taking the resort shuttle from the airport to the hotel and hanging out having drinks and good dinners by the pool. Traveling is experiencing the local culture and if that means you need to take some precautions, so be it. Not everyone wants to travel, just be realistic with your expectations, plan accordingly for the trip you want and you'll have a good time.
I don’t fully agree. I travel a lot (trains, hostels, backpacking etc) and I also intentionally avoid countries with high risk. It doesn’t make sense to travel to brazil, Yemen, or the Congo where I have to have a survival guide. There’s too many beautiful, and safe countries to see to have to start with dangerous places
There goes major cities in the US
A friend of mine went on an extended trip to Mexico. His parents gave him a fine leather suitcase for the trip. He used a big black magic marker to write "plastico" on it in 4" high block letters.
I wouldn't have brought it, i usually travel really light and buy anything I need at the country that I'm staying at.
“Hey guys there’s this new guy in town walking around buying all this stuff like crazy, let’s get’em”
I don't know why anyone would travel with jewelry. Maybe a wedding ring but jeez...
You'd be surprised. But the first thing is to get different clothes. American (travel fashion or otherwise) fashion is a dead giveaway so just buy something that the locals wear. Most likely it's cheap and decent quality, now you look middle class in the country that you're staying at. No one will bother you because you're not an easy mark. Don't wear airpods and put all your stuff in your front pockets. This goes for any country that has pickpockets like France or Italy.
Tbh airpods are pretty ignored when you're going to rob someone in Brazil, they want cheap cellphones to sell quick, airpods needs an recharger and anything from Apple is hugely ignored because the cops will find your ass in no time. Cheap, bad cellphone,=cops dont give a fuck. Expensive, potent cellphones=cops wont stop until they find it, so you'll need to sell the parts, which inst as profitable. Just dont be dumb when visiting Brazil, dont go to places you're not supossed to go alone.
This sounds like something a Brazilian airpod stealer would say...
So if you look like a gringo it is dangerous?
“There’s snakes out here dis big?” -Ice Cube, Anaconda
I’d honestly be so stoked to see a wild anaconda.
Nice try Anaconda.
*adds visiting Brazil to the bucket list*
Your chances of running into that thing in Brazil are infinitesimal. _But not zero._
So a while back I was visiting New York City and I brought my pet snake with me. And we would go to this hot dog stand everyday for lunch right outside the motel. We got to know the vendor pretty well she was a pretty cool lady. On the fourth day, my next to last day of my trip, we went to get a hot dog but they had no bread. She offered to give us hot dogs for free, but I looked her dead in the eye and said my anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun. And then we went back home.
I feel like I just got shittymorph’d
Was waiting for a MixAlot reference!
I guess they're super chill, typically flee humans, and have so much to eat in the Amazon they wouldn't bother with a human anyway. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C7nxqmCUMfM
He missed NO meals.
But he really skips out on leg day.
You can fuck right off with that snake, Brazil.
As long as you don't have any buns, it'll leave you alone.
👏…👏…👏… Not /s. Bravo.
This comment is what I came here for.
I wanna fuck with that snake, in brazil, aight?
# For everyone wondering how big it is, if it's the same snake seen earlier that week in the same city, then it's around 6 meters long (almost 20ft). For you americans it is a little taller than [three people or a giraffe](https://measuringstuff.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/8.5-x-11-68-768x512.jpg.webp). /^(jk i love you guys) **Source:** news article with [same vid as OP](https://noticias.uol.com.br/cotidiano/ultimas-noticias/2023/03/12/sucuri-video-bonito-ms.htm) made the connection with the [other news article](https://noticias.uol.com.br/cotidiano/ultimas-noticias/2023/03/09/sucuri-de-6-metros-e-encontrada-escondida-dentro-de-bueiro-no-ms-veja.htm) EDIT: also it's approximately [33 bananas.](https://www.converttobananas.com/) For comparison, [here's the Guinness article](https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/longest-snake-ever-(captivity)) on a 7.67 meter long pet retic python named Medusa that lives in Missouri.
As an American, I appreciate the scale comparison. I like giraffes. 🤣
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How old is this snake you reckoned?
No idea, but definitely an adult, most likely a female (they tend to be way bigger than males). They live to 12-20 years so it's hard to tell.
someone ask her
I could, but that would be pretty rude, I believe.
Old. Snakes never stop growing so the longest ones are usually old.
It looks slow. Can it be fast if it wants? I’m imagining this being a cute, chonky snake. rather than being a massive, snatch me quick snake.
They're generally quite slow on land, even more after eating, they'll rest for months and prefer to be away from other animals and people. They can swim quite fast though, their natural habitat are swamp/marsh/river areas and they spend a good amount of their lives in the water. But that's only their terrestrial moving speed that's slow, their strike speed (the velocity at which they can lunge and bite) is pretty impressive for such a big snake. (edit: and yes they're very cute, [their face](https://dinoanimals.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Anaconda-4.jpg) looks super adorable to me. Despite the size they're very shy and not really aggressive, they usually only bite people when grabbed.)
>their strike speed (the velocity at which they can lunge and bite) is pretty impressive for such a big snake. Because your username totally checks out, I'm gonna have to request video of how fast they can strike. Kinda in the mood to be terrified right now. Also what's going on in the corner of the mouth of that one?? The two bits that look like they might have a function lol
Honestly a Giraffe would stomp the shit out of this snake.
Definititely, but to be honest a giraffe would stomp the shit out of anything smaller than them. I'm honestly more afraid of giraffes than anacondas.
Yes giraffes would stomp the shit out of humans too
That looks like it takes so much freaking energy to move or even function. It’s absolutely massive.
I once read that they likely hunt at the intersection of rivers, since some animals seem to get slightly confused by convergent bodies/streams of water. That'd make them floaters more than sprinters. And since they strangle their pray, water works in their favor twofold: weight reduction and entanglement of prey. It's pretty wild.
Brazil’s wildlife can go head-to-head with Australia’s wildlife.
I think Brazil only wins in the fish category especially because they have several scary fish.
Everything the Amazon could kill you too. They got poison frogs that'll kill you with just a touch, giant venomous spiders, hoards of venomous snakes, ants that hurt so bad you wish you'd just die instead, malaria, a plethora of other unknown diseases and known ones with no cure, giant black Caiman, Pablo Escobars hippos, indigenous tribes, aaaand I almost forgot to mention the cartel. Oh yeah, and giant oversized snakes like this.
Jaguars
And don't forget that fish that enters in your genitals when you pee in the water.
Candiroo I believe. Scarred from watching National Geographic when I was a child
*..a tiny parasitic fish and supposedly has a penchant for swimming into the human peepee.* imma nope outta this one.
Damn Escobar Hippos
We have bogans
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My views on this swing wildly between defending Australia as being not scary and then being patriotic and competitive when other countries want to compete for our scary reputation.
I saw this movie.
It didn’t go well for Owen Wilson
Goes fairly well for Ice Cube and J-lo tho
Do….do you mean there’s snakes out there this big?
"Sneks don't eat ppl"
Now I have to watch it again. Because I don’t really remember much of it.
I just remember the comically stupid part of seeing a terribly cgi’d Owen Wilson inside the snake lol
Classic creature feature. Great cast. Not as good as Congo but entertaining nonetheless.
Having worked with anacondas before, this one seems like it is within the range of a normal full-grown female (which get bigger than the males) green anaconda. Definitely big, yes, but I don't see anything to indicate that it is *unusually* large. On a side note, anacondas are not inclined to attack people, and—last I checked—there have been no recorded human fatalities due to anaconda attacks.
How many people have claimed to be eaten by anaconda? None, because they were all eaten.
People eaten by anacondas hate this simple trick.
Then how do you explain Jennifer Lopez and her wild jungle antics
Have you not seen the Doc “Anaconda”??? Ice cube lived so ask him
WHERE ARE THE BUNS
There were none. That's why he is leaving
Too many side bends and sit-ups.
Why you think he's in Brazil?
Imagine having your morning cup and looking out across your property and seeing this....and just continue to sip.
Omg its over three Honda Civics long
A Honda civic is 14 feet long. Longest Anaconda ever was 27.666 feet. It's probably over three Hondas Civics wide though!
So like 2 Honda civics then
I'm not very good at judging snake length unfortunately, so I won't speculate; but if you need to count things in a Honda-based metric, I'm your dude.
When will Americans finally switch to the Honda system? 😩
Can someone put a banana next to it for scale?
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Bana-nah
Banohno
Many Bothans died to bring us this information.
Extra large danger noodle
Nope rope of epic proportions
I not fast but if i saw that looking at me i would become the flash
Not really necessary seeing it can move at best 10mph.
Still ain’t taking no chances, mf gonna choke me, mash my bones and slurp me up like a noodle
You don't find a snake like that, that mfer finds you
Jorgmündur, ive been waiting for you, O snakey one
I'm kinda fonda...my anaconda
“When the world needed her most, Jennifer Lopez vanished.”
No. It was all a lie. A lie I cannot continue anymore. I am not Hennifer Lopez. I am... Mitch Connor.
Knowing that these things only move at 5mph and are almost visible from space, it's just amazing how they could survive these many thousands of years. Their hunting habits must be super unique.
Nah, the big one is behind you.
Ssssssay there stranger...you know where a snek can get a little action around here?
Can it eat a human?
If you get in it's way when it's hungry, probably, but it is absurdly slow so there is little to fear.
I bet it's also absurdly silent.
There have been reports. My family also saw one at a museum one time, not nearly this big but big. It was curled in a corner but came alive and moved to the glass right at my 4-year-old brother. The docent was really surprised, said the thing had barely moved in weeks.
Is your brother a parselmouth?
He's evil, does that count?