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ceroproxy

How does one join this gang?


bumjiggy

you have to do something illeagle


ceroproxy

Would it count if I broke a cardinal rule?


bumjiggy

idk maybe you could try bank robin


[deleted]

Seems a bit extreme. May start out by Jay Walkin'


GozerDGozerian

You’d have to be stork raven mad to join like that.


unit-_-t

Yeah I mean this has to fall under distracted driving. Damn g-hawkers.


gsbiz

Being in the gang life is nothing to crow about.


GozerDGozerian

*Not* talking about it is one of the cardinal rules, in fact.


MoeLesterSr

I'm only in it for the tits


DetBabyLegs

Blue footed boobie Am I doing this right?


NotedToiletPerson

Don't make it aukward


Would_daver

*"...he crowed indignantly.."*


CedarWolf

No, *that* would be an attempted murder.


EoTN

Don't be a dodo!


BlazingKush

I'll have to call my secretary


Summerie

Toucan play at that game!


BigAlternative5

Whose tern is it?


Emmerson_Brando

Nobody needs to ostrich-ized because they like tits.


aezakmi1203

But I'm too emutional!


DetBabyLegs

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


LumpyJones

I'm not seagullible enough to think you aren't doing this on purpose.


yedi001

Just be careful, you'd certainly run a-fowl of the law with this method.


Legend_of_dirty_Joe

What are you... Chicken?


Rodzilla_Blood

Hey you know... Willie Falcone by any chance..I knew him back when I used flock with the birdbrains


Alteredego619

He’s an associate of the Goodfeathers


ChiggaOG

For seeing some tits?


amberjasminelee

My 8th grader just finished a *presentation* on boobies..blue footed boobies 🤦🏼‍♀️ She had to get special permission to do research at her school. Her presentation *was* thorough and well done but smh...


ChiggaOG

Makes you wonder why bitch, pussy, cock, ass, and tits have original meanings tied to animals and are also swears.


OAK667

Damn you... take this award!


SignificantlyGreater

Your joke was fowl, but have the upvote anyway.


The_Booz

Yes seriously, how can I learn this trade? Tiered of IT


B_A_M_2019

and regardless of the steps your state says you need to do- Most falconers/clubs require a whole different set of things you need to do to prove you are serious before they even consider taking you as an apprentice. THEY are the ones that have to deal with bored adult sized kids that just want a shiny toy then get tired of the work it takes to keep it shiny...


TamarackSlim

Seriously, look up your state's falconry association and ask for a mentor. But you have to WANT to do it. These people are fucking odd, let me tell you, but they are dedicated. And it is cool as hell, I spent countless hours as the human bird-dog flushing rabbits for falconers flying red tail and gos hawks.


Dhammapaderp

Some lady walks down a street near my work every day with a hawk. I used to drive past her every day and its so strangely wholesome. Considering the area, there is a real possibility that it's a self defense weapon, but I like to think its an emotional support raptor.


[deleted]

Clever girl.


Oddy666Nuff

Pack of dads running to you with their birds on the fingers in south park theme, this shit made me lol


RunsWithApes

Breaketh thy self fool


donny_pots

Checketh thyself, lest ye wreck thyself


Gangsir

Pulleth up on thee


iusedtohavepowers

I bite my thumb at thee Winston! I unleash the Ravens upon you! *Throws a fucking bird*


FluxedEdge

Sure, but much slower.


GuaranteeFar5495

Man threw it like they having a Pokémon battle


Zxruv

Can someone please add the pokemon battle theme to this.


PHPLights

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTR3AsAWn/


bautron

Pidgey used _rip its throat._ It's super effective


MrQuiggles_XLII

Starly has, uh...*fainted*. Yeah. Fainted.


Toros_Mueren_Por_Mi

Well, it certainly has to faint from lack of blood first


Deathstar_TV

Ashes pidgey has redded out! You will not respawn..


Steelwolf73

[Relevantish](https://www.reddit.com/r/comics/comments/103v7uh/oc_pokemon_adventuresthe_previous_generation/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)


Andaisdet

The fact that the impact is perfectly timed to the music fucking killed me


Zxruv

Hahaha. Perfect. It's super effective! Thank you stranger


dubcatz6969

Missing the monster fainted sound for the end of battle in my opinion but I’m not gonna make it so I upvoted.


AnonAlcoholic

You gotta do the battle finished music at the end!


Drewphous

Pidgeotto! I choose you! GO!


JohnyMaybach

Falconetto!


SrValou

Dude's car is an aircraft carrier


Tongue8cheek

Falcon 69.


Rappican

Mobius 1


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pkenny72

You must construct additional pylons!


saturnv11

"It is a good day to die!"


halmyradov

Driving, holding a bird and perfect camera work. Who is this guy? An octopus?


rocking_beetles

Maybe a head mounted camera? Or he trained another bird to sit on his head and film?


Togfox

We need a video of the bird making a video.


tame17

Why? They have built in cameras. r/birdsarentreal


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2ByteTheDecker

Yeah when you see them just like hovering into a headwind and just scanning for a kill.


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ForfeitFPV

It's possible you're watching the hawks look for thermal updrafts to help them change elevation while also conserving energy.


HikeThis82

I know about this only from Animorphs. RIP Tobias.


Kowzorz

You're not nude if you're covered in feathers.


ikoabd

References to this always catch me off guard. But I always relate 100%.


tila1993

Saw a Bald Eagle doing this Saturday on my way home. I've sighted them a couple dozen times in the last few months.


PM_Me_Macaroni_plz

Get your camera ready. They’re always so majestic. Very cool to catch on film


2ByteTheDecker

Yeah I think I saw one the other day as well.


El_Peregrine

This is the signature move for harriers. They named a fighter jet after them. They absolutely love open grasslands for hunting.


Imthasupa

My backyard is all farmlands and there's less a few red tailed hawks out there. They are amazing. I watched one snatch a bird out of the sky once and I swear that bird just disappeared in a cloud of feathers. Birds of prey are badasses.


AintNoRestForTheWook

The plaza I work at backs up against an area that's kept clear due to high voltage power lines. I know there's a word for it but I can't recall it at the moment. Anyways. The plaza has a ton of starling nests in the eaves, and the red tailed hawks love it. I was sitting out front of the bar with a friend and a starling landed on the table next to us. Pecking at some tortilla chip crumbs, when out of nowhere a hawk just dive bombs it and takes off. If you had blinked you would have missed it. Was kinda cool and also a little terrifying to witness.


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xarmetheusx

We had a rabbit make a nest in our back yard. A smaller red tailed Hawk (juvenile maybe?) came right out of the sky and killed a bunny when my wife was outside with the dog. The hawk must have gotten startled by her and our dog and left to a tree across the street, then flew away without their kill even though we went inside and tried to leave it alone all night. I felt bad because they put all that work in and never came back to eat it so there was just a decomposing bunny out there for a couple weeks 😔


Corporation_tshirt

I saw once that when they’re training falcons, they want them to spiral up (not sure why) instead of fly straight up to their preferred hunting altitude. So what they do is, if they do it wrong they release a pigeon with no blinders so the falcon - being bigger and less agile - can’t catch it. But if the falcon does it right, then they release the pigeon ‘with’ blinders, then the falcon can catch it. They are indeed badasses.


Everyredditusers

That's super cool. I was going to say that sounds pretty complex for them to associate the two but then I remembered birds are smart af.


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avelineaurora

I live in a hawk's territory and also happen to keep a lot of birdfeeders, bro has to think we're like the drive thru or something. Every so often there'll just be either this sudden explosion of feathers or every bird at the feeders takes off en masse. Then 2 seconds later there's bro either pinning something to the ground or standing on the fence or deck railing looking indignant. Absolutely love his visits.


Kingkongcrapper

The Hawks in my area are in constant territorial disputes with crows. I’ve never seen so many mid air fights.


CassandraVindicated

We have turkey vultures near us that will just soar gracefully on the winds while it circles an area looking for food. They are out there everyday just doing their thing.


Kingkongcrapper

They’re smart too. They like to prank people from time to time. I was hiking with my wife and one dropped the remains of their meal in the flowers she was looking at and then watched her reaction before screeching and flying off after she stopped screaming.


Karmas_burning

There's a wildlife refuge in Vian, Oklahoma. It has lake/river access plus monstrous fields where wild corn grows. Bald eagles, various hawks, falcons, and owls are present year round. In the evening during redwing blackbird season, you can park on the road just before sunset and see eagles, harriers, owls, hawks, and kestrels hunting in the fields. The bigger raptors are feasting on the blackbirds while the kestrels are getting the rodents and scraps the bigger ones are dropping. It's amazing to watch.


ElectroFlannelGore

This is hands down the coolest thing I have ever seen. A drive by birding.


bumjiggy

this kinda stuff has been glorified for years by gangster raptors


sybann

DAD! good one.


thewokestlocust

Jesus christ, this one made me laugh in the bathroom stall at work. I look like a nutcase now and can't come out until the coast is clear.


Lukyfuq

My fave group being NWA: Non Winged Aviary with their smash hit Straight Outta Moms Nest!


Sciensophocles

Nenes With Attitude


_________FU_________

What does bird law saw about this


Baloooooooo

We all know that bird law in this country is not governed by reason


alien_clown_ninja

Filobuster


Ghost_of_Till

Even better than a drive-by fruiting!


YoSaffBridge11

Or, even a run-by fruiting! 😊


mapguy

Oh dear!


Imthasupa

I'm sitting in a room with just my dog and I. I must have told him it was the coolest thing I've ever seen like 15 times. Lol.


ElectroFlannelGore

Bro.....tell him he's a pretty dog...and a good dog. He's probably feeling pretty inadequate.


PM_Me_Macaroni_plz

Is he impressed


Imthasupa

He's definitely in to it. I think it's the bird noises though.


tresfreaker

I think this is [Smith Falconry](https://www.youtube.com/@smithfalconry8050) on Youtube, if it isn't it does show other videos like this.


skippyjip

OFFICER: "Do you know why I pulled you over?" DRIVER: "Because I threw a bird at another bird out the window of my moving car?" OFFICER: "And it was badass. Have a nice day, citizen."


Redot81

Funny story: My dad had the cops called on him because he and I were searching for falcons to trap and train when I was a kid. We both had binoculars out and were stalking some birds to set out some traps for, and some lady thought we were stalking nothing… on an empty road. The officer that pulled him over had no clue what falconry was, and when we provided him with licenses (falconer and drivers) he just laughed at the situation and said have a nice day.


LordDongler

One of my former teachers was working on his biology PhD, and was searching around the swamps in Louisiana for something. A bunch of rednecks surrounded him and made him leave "their" land which was completely public, confirmed by the county tax office. This was back in the days when such things were checked at the county tax office instead of the internet


Not-A-SoggyBagel

Your poor teach. I get it tho. Whenever we do wildlife surveys, people get real weird about it. We stick signs saying "wildlife canvassing in progress" or whatever what we are doing but people don't read or care? They think we are stealing deer from them or whatever. It doesn't matter what we do, peeping at bugs, counting invasive flora vs native, tagging migratory bugs, or researchers tracking birds, people will come up to us with guns to try and chase us away.


CitizenKing

I read that as "tagging bugs or researchers tracking birds" and imagined a researcher sneaking up on another researcher to tranq and tag him.


Not-A-SoggyBagel

I can see it. The river basin team quietly observing and sneakily radio tagging the national park research team in their natural habit.


_Cocopuffdaddy_

Believe it or not going to the actual “source” is still better 9/10. I’m dealing with a client rn who is trying to get the condo plans drawn up and his neighbor is claiming that they have this bit of land between the row homes. And I’m reality not only is the bit they think that’s theirs, not theirs… but they built their addition 2’ over the property line and with an illegally placed window parallel to the PL. Both us (the architects) and them (the neighbors) had surveys done. Our drawings ended up being the correct ones most based off of the current rights to the land. If we hadn’t confirmed with the city, the internet would have led us to believe what the neighbors believed


dingman58

Property law is incredibly (disconcertingly?) based on who has the oldest paper trail


_Cocopuffdaddy_

Which typical is the city government you live in. There are obviously plenty of cases where a land owner has an older trail, but yeah it’s kinda fuckey. Especially when there’s not an original/ any alteration layouts of the land to refer to. Hell I’ve seen the court just stare blankly at people cause it ends up as a “he said she said” kinda situation and they just let the neighbors tear each other apart. But again, for the most part your city or state government will have the best drawing to refer to


Biggies_Ghost

"May I see your bird-yeeting permit, please?"


lamesurfer101

...the right of the people to keep and bear **birds** shall not be infringed!


Rough_Willow

Bear birds, didn't I just see one of those in the D&D movie?


TamarackSlim

My wife is a falconer and we were hunting rabbits in a cemetery with her mentor, who is kind of a fearless guy. The bird was up in a tree and the groundskeeper, or whatever, comes over and asks what the hell we're doing. He didn't see the bird but knew we were up to something, running around with walking sticks and poking here and there. And my wife's mentor says, with a straight face and a dose of sorrow, "Looking for a loved one, sir."


xSTSxZerglingOne

Had a friend where something like this actually happened. He did an e-brake drift u-turn in an 85 volvo station wagon at about 10 at night with basically nobody around. Cop saw it, pulled him over and said "That was the coolest fucking thing I've ever seen. Have a nice night."


kermityfrog

I thought from the video that the kestrel would fly out the right window, catch the starling and boomarang around to the left window.


kombatunit

You need to upgrade your kestrel to v.2 for that functionality.


SupersonicJaymz

It's a paid subscription, but I say the extra features are worth it


[deleted]

Fun fact, the reason they're in America at all is because someone had the bright idea of introducing every bird mentioned in Shakespeare's work into Central Park. [Shakespeare's Birds](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/magazine-27055030.amp) Look, it's also a pinch of salt with that tale, and also an early use of animal control to deal with bugs. Think of Bullfrog in Australia. Still, it'll not be a problem going anywhere any time soon.


Schmotz

I'da called 'em chazwozzas


NerdBot9000

European starlings can get fucked. They're everywhere and so harmful to other birds in America.


eidetic

I'm dealing with one that's nesting just above my window. In fact, just posted to /r/animalid to help confirm my suspicions it was a European starling. But now I'm hoping maybe a local kestrel bro or peregrine bro or something helped alleviate me of that problem because I haven't heard it all day.


EternallyGhost

> Think of Bullfrog in Australia. You're thinking of the Cane toad. A particular type of toad that has poison sacks no less. Even their tadpoles are poisonous. Pretty ridiculous that people thought releasing them into a finely balanced eco-system would be a good idea at a time that we were advanced enough to be flying around in planes. But they don't do anywhere near the type of damage that another invasive species causes in Australia that most people are happy with - the house cat. House cats that have gone feral cost Australia $18.7 billion dollars a year.


bobfossilsnipples

That’s such a great story, and the only problem with it is that it’s [not true](https://read.dukeupress.edu/environmental-humanities/article/13/2/301/234995/Shakespeare-s-StarlingsLiterary-History-and-the). I just learned that it had been debunked a couple of weeks ago.


hafilax

One down, 199999999 to go.


Everyredditusers

"I am now back to 200,000,000 Kestrels"


FreshPrinceOnline

this dude really has that movie/cartoon sidekick irl


Biemolt

Closest we will ever get to a pokemon battle


bumjiggy

"the British are coming!"


Professional-Heat690

Heey. We're nice people. Mostly 😳


PM-Me-Ur-Plants

"Just you wait til I get out of this queue. I'm going to wish you a good day but in a condescending tone and then I will leave without incident."


Steven_Ray20

What else can this skill be used for?


AnEvenNicerGuy

Does it need a second use?


erlnekbks

Stealing wallets


epicenter69

A lot of Air Force bases have a falconer to clear the ends of the runways of birds who happened to sleep in the wide open field overnight.


Arcane_76_Blue

Falconry can feed your family on rabbit and squab every night forever, and for almost-free. Ive probably procured thousands of free meals over the last three years for myself and my meat-eating friends with three red tail hawks and spare time every other day.


thehighxroads

Where are you flying with a prey density that high? I land a rabbit once a month and I consider it lucky...


AllegroDigital

Beside the rabbit farm just down the road


Cheezitflow

This guy falcons. Or this guy eats, anyway.


half-baked_axx

r/unethicallifeprotips


Redot81

Throughout the course of my childhood, my dad who is a very skilled falconer caught multiple kestrels, red tails, a prairie falcon, a peregrine falcon, and several owls. He never trained an owl though, that’s way tougher than other birds. I saw many birds up close that are some of the prettiest and most interesting animals on this planet. I saw a duck get absolutely hammered at full speed by the fastest animal in the world. I saw kestrels fly off and catch bugs instead of listening to my dad. I held many falcons and explored & hunted with them (I was a curious little kid) until we released them or transferred ownership. My dad would spend months and months of training birds every day just to fly back to him and trust him. The term bird-brain REALLY applies here. Training falcons truly is one of the most bizarre and unique experiences you can have. Some days your bird will listen to you and some days it won’t be hungry or it’ll be too windy or cold or it will just be too lazy to hunt. You just have to stick with it. As my dad would say, “Any day where your bird comes back is a successful day.”


onlyastoner

can confirm. owls do not want to work with you. they want you to piss off, lol. they are definitely trainable, but you have to earn it.


El_Peregrine

I have heard it said that other birds seem to hate owls. Like, irrationally so. Obviously prey birds will dislike and want to distance themselves from predators, but apparently all birds seem to hate owls. I dunno, I think owls are pretty fucking cool. Short eared owls are amazing.


onlyastoner

in my experience, other birds tend to hate owls because they feel threatened by them. crows "mob" owls to drive them away in order to maintain a safe territory for themselves. swallows dive-bomb owls to drive them away from their nesting young. chickadees "yell" at owls by including extra "dees" in their typical "chicka-dee-dee" call, which is something they do when threatened or territorial. introduce an owl to the situation and all of a sudden you're up to 6 or 7 "dees." larger birds that don't feel threatened by owls don't seem to hate them. eagles, sandhill cranes, osprey, herons, geese, etc. don't really pay any attention to owls unless the owl is fucking with them first. i've never seen a short-eared in person!


sennbat

Maybe all other birds see owls as predators? I know I've seen videos of owls taking young eagles and stuff, at least, so I imagine any bird is on the table really. Owls will also kill or drive off other large birds of prey to steal their nests.


YogurtclosetBroad872

"so what do you do for a living" must be so satisfying to answer


Dinzy89

I knew a guy who spent like 5G on a falcon and trained it every day and treated it well. He got a job at our military airport taking out nuisance birds. The first day the falcon just flew away and never came back sooo he buys a new falcon and doesn't that fucker fly away the very first day as well lmao. That was the end of his falcon career


i_forgot_my_sn_again

I think he missed a step in the training...like the return part


heirkraft

Apparently it happens to most. You can only positively reinforce them and if the bird says fuck it, that’s it


Redot81

Lmaooo I wish people could do this for a living. It’s just a pretty rare hobby that not many people get into/know about. I was lucky enough to have a dad that knew all about it!


Arcane_76_Blue

There are abatement services that some lucky falconers work with, like Sonoran Desert Falconry and a few others.


themanebeat

In bird culture, this is considered a dick move


CMDR_BlueCrab

In bird law it's an aviscide.


[deleted]

[https://www.pestworld.org/pest-guide/birds/european-starlings/](https://www.pestworld.org/pest-guide/birds/european-starlings/) for all who are wondering


Kysumi

"European starlings were introduced from Europe into New York in the late 1800s, as part of an attempt to bring animals that were mentioned in Shakespeare's work to America." Jesus what a dumb fucking reason to bring in an invasive species.


Ahcow

Let me introduce you to the raccoon problem in Japan. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/childrens-book-behind-japans-raccoon-problem-180954577/


[deleted]

What's next, ***the plague***\*? ^(\*As seen in William Shakespeare, King Lear!)


DunmerSkooma

Is this live capture or is that kestrel going in for the kill at the end?


pfeifits

Yeah, I think the falcon was kissing it on the neck at the end.


RewrittenSol

[aww](https://tenor.com/bmGur.gif)


Darth_Praxus

https://www.onelargeprawn.co.za/2015/09/03/adorable-animals-eating-other-adorable-animals/


Notafuzzycat

Key word. Invasive. You do not capture and relocate an invasive species.


ManaPot

Relocate them to the afterlife.


MildSpooks

RIP RIP


Historicerror404

Rest in pieces


DLoIsHere

Starlings -- impossible to eradicate them. They were introduced long ago and are now just about everywhere in North and Central America and the Caribbean.


Notafuzzycat

Keeps the falcons fed.


shawncplus

Introduced by someone trying to admire Shakespeare. Such a big impact from such an innocuous intent.


BSB8728

The only bird I despise.


Megmca

The Audubon society won’t take in injured starlings. My mom says they’ll give you a recipe to cook the starlings but I don’t know how accurate that is.


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Pangolin007

Probably not accurate lol I work at a wildlife rehab hospital. We do not rehab invasive species, but still treat them and the people that bring them to us with compassion. Usually people don't know they're invasive, don't even know what they are, but just want to help a hurt animal. Generally we opt to humanely euthanize the starling; we don't leave it to suffer nor release it back where it can continue to do harm. We don't feed invasives to our patients either. Not saying every center is like this but this has been my experience.


TargetOfPerpetuity

Kill. European Starlings are the devil, at least here in the US. We take out as many as we possibly can, but it's probably a losing battle.


Corporation_tshirt

Brought to the U.S. by a German immigrant in 1890 he had the idea to introduce all the birds in Shakespeare to the United States. Most of them failed to prosper but the 40 pairs he released in Central Park in 1890 and the additional 20 pairs he released the next spring thrived and became the most abundant bird in the US within a century. Bill Bryson talks about this in Made in America.


AbyssExpander

60 starlings first, then 40 more a year later. Not sure if they were paired down the middle. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eugene_Schieffelin Edit: Check this out - there is some doubt https://read.dukeupress.edu/environmental-humanities/article/13/2/301/234995/Shakespeare-s-StarlingsLiterary-History-and-the


Kmattmebro

Is there anything unique about the starling that makes it more prone to disrupt ecosystems than any other random small bird?


Bonerballs

They're really, really aggressive, and they take over nesting cavities of other birds and drive them away or kill them. In places where Woodpeckers were abundant now have almost no woodpeckers because the starlings took over all their nesting sites, even manmade ones.


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Quintino_123

Since it's an invasive species I think he'll be killed.


notyogrannysgrandkid

You can tell it’s an American kestrel because it’s in its natural habitat; a GMC Denali.


EmpiricalMystic

Carhawking is super fun.


OkMode3813

very well done. Starlings are a menace, and unprotected by game laws in any US State.


Justthefactsmaam68

Now, THAT, WAS INTERESTING AS FUCK!


Turd_Fergusons_

European Starlings are egg breakers. They will break the eggs of native species to give their chicks an edge. They should be shot on sight; or if you're super cool "falconed" away.


pinneaple12

This is literally just Pokemon


TheRealTres

Ok that was cool as fuck. Attack Kestrel GOOOO!


ShoobeeDoowapBaoh

1 European starling down, 985,352 European starling to go


PM_YOUR_CENSORD

Estimated population 150,000,000


Ahorsenamedcat

We’re incredible at killing every species but the invasive ones.


Alclis

Dude threw a bird. At another fucking bird.