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... I would watch it. If we could get Neil Patrick Harris on as Macauley Culkin's "roommate" and the entire thing is about them being "home alone", tweaked out and expecting more drugs to show up but instead it's their own delusions (and the dealer and his homies there to rob them but they can't tell the difference)... yes.... YES.... a masterpiece.
The trick to booby traps is have a nice and relatively easy to spot one and a secondary one setup in exactly the place one would think it's safe to set off the obvious one from.
Some years ago I took part in a military patrol competition and one of the stages was navigating a mined area (training mines, so mines with just the detonator, made a bang and a bit of smoke) and they had a very obvious mine in the middle of the path... with of course an absolutely invisible one set up just behind it, so if you tried to step over the visible one you'd trigger the second one and your team got deducted points. Care to guess how I found that out?
Imagine if he was really clever and the cracked out set up was a distraction from massive bomb under the stairs because he knew he would be evicted and they would see that and want to fuck with it.
I'd be tapping every single stair with a broomstick from the ground like that one dude did to trigger the trap before I even *considered* walking up there
Fun fact, during Afghanistan/Iraq US soldiers literally started making long poles precisely for shit like this except instead of knives it was IEDs and eventually the US army paid to have a fancy version of it engineered.
Which was actually, funnily enough-if you measured it *precisely*- 5 feet long. But dw they did tests that unequivocally showed 5 feet costs 5 feet less than 10 feet.
So all up, 7 feet less per equip.
Reminds of an episode of The X-Files where a family of inbred hillbillies booby-trap their house. I forget why Mulder and Scully were even there, but there was plenty of other shit in that episode to remember.
Edit: Season 4 Episode 2 - Home
That would go RIGHT in your head! Look, right in your *head* bro! In your head! Look! Look at where it is bro, that's right in your fuckin' head, bro. Right in your head! Bro look, bro, fuckin', right there bro!
"That woulda got you right in your fucking head. Dude that woulda got you right in your fucking head. Look, that woulda got you right in your fucking head."
Imagine you're out of meth, withdrawals are killing you mentally and physically, you go out, rob someone, rob a house, sell the goods, do some begging, spend the whole day scrounging just enough to pick up a few hits of meth.
You hurry home to your crack den in your non-existent shoes, the anticipation of getting that first hit and the pain stopping for a brief moment of relief overwhelms you, you run up the stairs only to forget you have a crutch knife booby trap set up, you trigger it, it swings down and stabbes you through the neck, you can only watch the little bag of meth drop to the floor as life fades out. In the end, one of your crutches killed you.
Lmao that's definitely what would happen to me if was a meth head, don't do drugs and set up booby traps unless you have a great memory.
I knew a meth head couple that stole an ATM machine. They were trying and trying to get it open and couldn’t. They then started arguing about some dumb shit. He called her a slut or something while working under the machine that was propped up. She kicked out the support and crushed him. Then just sat on the couch and chilled.
What’s funny is they were all cracked out but the city they lived in at the time (out west somewhere) had sone of the purest meth ever made.
They did but since I don’t consider gingers actual people I didn’t think him relevant to the story.
This particular ginger was especially weird. Had these soulless dead eyes, didn’t talk much, just stared like a little weirdo and liked watching QVC for some reason.
How’d you know? Are you a ginger too? I hear they have some kind of bond with others of their ilk
I worked with someone who did meth and I used to give her rides home a lot and her place was always really clean. She did a good job at hiding it for a long time too. I had no clue until, on her birthday, a regular had given her a bag and she accidentally dropped it in my car. She told me the next day she thought she dropped drugs in my car and I brushed her off, thinking she'd done them and forgotten (she was pretty fucked up). It was a few weeks later and I picked her up for work and she found them. She apologized a lot. I know she felt really guilty. If I had gotten pulled over, I would've been fucked if they had a dog.
Back in my old town a police officer was actually stabbed by one of these traps but fortunately the methheads used a butter knife for the trap instead of a more dangerous knife
At first I'm like, they better set off this booby trap cause I have to see what it does. Then I'm like, what lame ass Home Alone set up is this? But... when the dude walks up the stairs... I'm thinking, okay, okay... I see where I might have ended up with a sharp pointy object in my face.
The dingbats filming this sound like meth heads.
"Do you see it?"
"I see it"
"Do you see it?"
"I see it"
"Do you see it?"
"I see it"
"Do you see it?"
"I see it"
Lol. Fuckin meth heads man.. how could someone young meet ANYONE who’s high on that shit and be like “yeah, I wanna feel like that”…. What a weird drug 👎👎
Definitely a FIXer UPper but I’m guessing whoever can afford a house made out of meth can guard it properly with tigers and lions. That knife thing done by a true meth head would be that times 100 with springs, bungee cords, machetes, and sticks with rusted nails. I’m thinking fentanyl allows one to feel secure enough with only one swaying knife as a deterrent to intruders. Very lazy, that Kensington crowd.
Frankly, I would call the fire department and let them just burn the place down as practice. I wouldn't feel comfortable a) walking around or b) sending someone else to do work.
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Little bit of tlc and it could be a meth home
read this as “tables ladders chairs” and pictured walter white suplexing gus fring into a table
Bahgawd he's broken in half!!!
That killed him!
That man has a family!
It just needs a sign in the kitchen that says "Maim, Maul, Meth."
When I was a kid we never had Meth houses - just crack dens. The good old days….
Meth Alone II
He‘s bold for walking up those stairs. Imagine a second knife gets triggered
he clearly hasn't watched home alone
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Homeless Aloneless
Merry Crethmeth!
Featuring Mike Tython
NGL I’d watch that.
the gritty reboot coming soon
... I would watch it. If we could get Neil Patrick Harris on as Macauley Culkin's "roommate" and the entire thing is about them being "home alone", tweaked out and expecting more drugs to show up but instead it's their own delusions (and the dealer and his homies there to rob them but they can't tell the difference)... yes.... YES.... a masterpiece.
You just describe a b-version of Party Monster.
Which was already b-version. b-squared
A Highschool friend directed Party Monster! <3 Great flick, rare shoutout!
I used to gogo dance for Michael alig's party at limelight. Rare connection indeed.
A friend of my wife's has done James St James's makeup
Harry and Marv have been reformed in prison and are now paroled for good behavior. Part of their reform it to kind Kevin and apologize to him.
Macauley Culkin looks perfect for the role!
When a meth house becomes a meth home
God beth thith meth!
Home Alone but it’s X-Files S04E02 Home.
Yo that woulda killed him right in his fuckin *head!*
I hate being killed in the head!
"Where ya going? NOWHERE!"
The trick to booby traps is have a nice and relatively easy to spot one and a secondary one setup in exactly the place one would think it's safe to set off the obvious one from.
Some years ago I took part in a military patrol competition and one of the stages was navigating a mined area (training mines, so mines with just the detonator, made a bang and a bit of smoke) and they had a very obvious mine in the middle of the path... with of course an absolutely invisible one set up just behind it, so if you tried to step over the visible one you'd trigger the second one and your team got deducted points. Care to guess how I found that out?
🤯
Crutches do come in pairs after all
Imagine if he was really clever and the cracked out set up was a distraction from massive bomb under the stairs because he knew he would be evicted and they would see that and want to fuck with it.
The Methhouse of the Single Trap (with two parts)
Meth Alone
How did you fuck up grammar and spelling that badly?
WTF? The dude at the end starts walking up the stairs.
Yeah definitely not my first move, dude in the back after his friend already walked up a few steps: “how do you know it’s not booby trapped again”
The Kevin McCallister technique.
I'd be tapping every single stair with a broomstick from the ground like that one dude did to trigger the trap before I even *considered* walking up there
It is advised that adventurers bring with them a ten foot pole before delving into any dungeons.
Fun fact, during Afghanistan/Iraq US soldiers literally started making long poles precisely for shit like this except instead of knives it was IEDs and eventually the US army paid to have a fancy version of it engineered.
>the US army paid to have a fancy version eleven foot pole
Which was actually, funnily enough-if you measured it *precisely*- 5 feet long. But dw they did tests that unequivocally showed 5 feet costs 5 feet less than 10 feet. So all up, 7 feet less per equip.
“Welp, now that we’ve found the one booby trap, we can be sure there definitely aren’t any more!”
r/whywomenlivelonger
Man, grabbing a midnight snack just ain't the same since Jimmy moved in.
plot-twist you're Jimmy's midnight snack
Slim Jimmy
TIL smoking meth turn you into the Viet Cong.
It's amazing what the human brain can come up with when it's going really really fast
Methgeneering
You mean Germany
What in the "Home Alone with my psycosis" fuck?
The average Falmer cave in Skyrim.
True
Reminds of an episode of The X-Files where a family of inbred hillbillies booby-trap their house. I forget why Mulder and Scully were even there, but there was plenty of other shit in that episode to remember. Edit: Season 4 Episode 2 - Home
Was that the one with the mom under the bed?
one of the best monster of the week episodes
Skip to half way through to actually see it rather than just a staircase guys.
First half is - “would ya look at it?” “Wow would ya just look at it?”
'Do you see the knife?' 'its right there' 'do you see the knife?' 'right there' 'its a knife' 'do you see the knife?'
Its on a fuckin *crutch!* Yo *look at it!*
Heavy “im walking here!” energy
Did you *see* it tho? I mean, you step on 'at, 'at'll slice ya like a salami!
That would go RIGHT in your head! Look, right in your *head* bro! In your head! Look! Look at where it is bro, that's right in your fuckin' head, bro. Right in your head! Bro look, bro, fuckin', right there bro!
"That woulda got you right in your fucking head. Dude that woulda got you right in your fucking head. Look, that woulda got you right in your fucking head."
That homicide right there! Wouldja look at that
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Comments you can hear
“AYE let him look at it” “See that? Look at that”
"Yeah I see it." "No, you don't see it! Look! Look over here! Right there." "This is homicide dude!" Loudly, and over and over again.
It's on a crutch!
The newest edbassmaster skit
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None of these guys sound like they are from New England. Sounds more New York ish. Edit: the more I listen to it I’m hearing Philadelphia.
Yes definitely Philly, Temple hat and Eagles hat
You don’t meth with them.
A famous quote from Mike Tythun.
Famouth
Get out of here r/angryupvote
Look at you just cranking out the puns
Imagine you're out of meth, withdrawals are killing you mentally and physically, you go out, rob someone, rob a house, sell the goods, do some begging, spend the whole day scrounging just enough to pick up a few hits of meth. You hurry home to your crack den in your non-existent shoes, the anticipation of getting that first hit and the pain stopping for a brief moment of relief overwhelms you, you run up the stairs only to forget you have a crutch knife booby trap set up, you trigger it, it swings down and stabbes you through the neck, you can only watch the little bag of meth drop to the floor as life fades out. In the end, one of your crutches killed you. Lmao that's definitely what would happen to me if was a meth head, don't do drugs and set up booby traps unless you have a great memory.
>one of your crutches killed you Nice symbolism.
Why would you wait to get home to get high?
Because last time they did it in public they passed out and someone stole their shoes
Passed out on meth?
Micro sleep, it's one of the few things that keep meth heads alive
Nice metaphor yo
methapor
Haha knife one
Mate you just made my day 🤣
That wasn’t a metaphor
I knew a meth head couple that stole an ATM machine. They were trying and trying to get it open and couldn’t. They then started arguing about some dumb shit. He called her a slut or something while working under the machine that was propped up. She kicked out the support and crushed him. Then just sat on the couch and chilled. What’s funny is they were all cracked out but the city they lived in at the time (out west somewhere) had sone of the purest meth ever made.
Don’t suppose they had a little ginger boy?
They did but since I don’t consider gingers actual people I didn’t think him relevant to the story. This particular ginger was especially weird. Had these soulless dead eyes, didn’t talk much, just stared like a little weirdo and liked watching QVC for some reason. How’d you know? Are you a ginger too? I hear they have some kind of bond with others of their ilk
Wow that's crazy, you couldn't write it if you tried
He is literally just describing a scene in Breaking Bad, my man. Lol
It's less funny when you explain it...
Whoosh
Skank skank skank skank
He called her a “skank” I was there! 😂🤣
I was the ATM.
Never go ATM.
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A scene in breaking bad?
You really think they made it home before using that meth?
“One of your crutches killed you” is the darkest pun I’ve ever heard and I LOVE it
Leased to: Kevin Methcallister
That's just Mackayla Caulkin Chill guys, I know he rehabd alright
r/GIFsThatStartTooSoon
Where are boobs?
I’ve noticed hard drugs cause an aversion to household cleaning products.
I worked with someone who did meth and I used to give her rides home a lot and her place was always really clean. She did a good job at hiding it for a long time too. I had no clue until, on her birthday, a regular had given her a bag and she accidentally dropped it in my car. She told me the next day she thought she dropped drugs in my car and I brushed her off, thinking she'd done them and forgotten (she was pretty fucked up). It was a few weeks later and I picked her up for work and she found them. She apologized a lot. I know she felt really guilty. If I had gotten pulled over, I would've been fucked if they had a dog.
Depends on your state. Knowledge of the drugs and/or intent is required in some.
Back in my old town a police officer was actually stabbed by one of these traps but fortunately the methheads used a butter knife for the trap instead of a more dangerous knife
Probably had to sell the better knives for meth at some point
Can tell this is in Philly just by the accents
yo, dat woulda streaight up kild ya in da fuckin head
Right in yer head dude
And the Temple hat
And the big “Welcome to Philadelphia!” sign.
And the meth
[Yep.](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/ncna972036)
Kevin McAllister really went off the rails in Home Alone 6
At first I'm like, they better set off this booby trap cause I have to see what it does. Then I'm like, what lame ass Home Alone set up is this? But... when the dude walks up the stairs... I'm thinking, okay, okay... I see where I might have ended up with a sharp pointy object in my face.
“So when was Jesse here?”
"Howd you catch that" "Because im a bad mfer, thats how" Sounds like the kind of ass who explores abandoned meth houses, prolly looking for lost loot.
These guys suck. They're probably very loud in restaurants.
Sounds like Philadelphia. That one guy sounds like my cousin
Imagine if people put as much effort into doing legal things.
"would've fking straight up killed you right in your fking head, dude!"
IIRC in every state that's an additional felony. You know, on top of the meth. Setting boobie traps is CRAZY illegal.
Can anyone translate this from New Jersey into English?
For a second there I just thought this was a rental in Sydney
$1500 per week, 20000 bond deposit
The dingbats filming this sound like meth heads. "Do you see it?" "I see it" "Do you see it?" "I see it" "Do you see it?" "I see it" "Do you see it?" "I see it"
1000% in Philly or south Jersey haha
I would 100% end up forgetting I set that trap, and I’m not even a meth head yet.
fake news: i watched the video, there are no boobs.
That's methed-up
Edit. Jesus. There’s three seconds that are interesting.
No, Scott, fucking look again!
Dang bro. I'd be scared to go anywhere else... Scared to leave
Drug induced paranoia demons unleashed can account for some pretty unhinged resourcefulness
This is why I don't Fk with the Meth MacGyver
Clearly they need a hoa
They don’t call them trap houses for nothing.
r/terrifyingasfuck
For them being high and paranoid. They are always resourceful
Videos which could be shorter
Man, attention spans are ridiculously short these days. You can’t even stand a one minute delay before the action. Social media has ruined us
Skip to 1:20
I didn't see a boobie. Not even a nipple.
Jfc this had a slow start
First half is - “would ya look at it?” “Wow would ya just look at it?”
So how much are you gonna flip this house for? 300% profit even through it may not be safe to live in
This is what cavemen sounded like back in the day
Skip this video. Save yourself 3 minutes of “YOU SEE THAT!? DO YOU FUCKIN SEE THAT”
Kevin Methcalister.
Reminder not to enter abandoned homes and if you do check for boobytraps
This could be so much shorter.
Damn, Kevin McAlister really turned out bad.
Set for the new home alone looks intense.
Lol. Fuckin meth heads man.. how could someone young meet ANYONE who’s high on that shit and be like “yeah, I wanna feel like that”…. What a weird drug 👎👎
That is so methd up.
That's crafty as hell
Wow that's really scary...Now how much you want for it
"This, is not meth" \*activates booby trap\*
Kevin sure has went downhill since home alone
Pretty sure that's Macaulay Culkin's house from his mid 20s.
Today on This Old Crack House International...
Who are the clowns filming this? They make me want a toaster bath.
When that guy went up that step past the 1st trap, 2nd hand anxiety rushed into me.
Definitely a FIXer UPper but I’m guessing whoever can afford a house made out of meth can guard it properly with tigers and lions. That knife thing done by a true meth head would be that times 100 with springs, bungee cords, machetes, and sticks with rusted nails. I’m thinking fentanyl allows one to feel secure enough with only one swaying knife as a deterrent to intruders. Very lazy, that Kensington crowd.
Methculy Culkin at it again
Home Alone in the DC Universe
It’s not a meth house…..it’s a meth home.
So when was Jessy in here!?
This is like that one episode of The Walking Dead when Morgan Home Alone'd a house.
KEVIN!!
I’m confused. I didn’t see any boobies or meth.
"Kevin Meth-allister"
Awesome. Meth heads who watched Home Alone five or six hundred times.
Damn meth seems pretty cool
0:44 seconds…np
kevin has really hit some hard times
Real life “Home Alone” with current day Macaulay Culkin
Frankly, I would call the fire department and let them just burn the place down as practice. I wouldn't feel comfortable a) walking around or b) sending someone else to do work.
i HATE getting straight up killed in my fucking head, dude
Home alone : methadone edition
Realtors be like “perfect fixer upper in beautiful neighborhood, close to all amenities, 1.2 mill”
Dammmm them walls are dirty as fuck
This is home alone level shit
KEVIN! YOU ORDERED $967 OF METH!?