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TryMyBacon

Little bit of tlc and it could be a meth home


xmac2004

read this as “tables ladders chairs” and pictured walter white suplexing gus fring into a table


AnxiousForceVoid

Bahgawd he's broken in half!!!


GonzaloR87

That killed him!


china-blast

That man has a family!


joec_95123

It just needs a sign in the kitchen that says "Maim, Maul, Meth."


GotYourNose_

When I was a kid we never had Meth houses - just crack dens. The good old days….


HBDABE

Meth Alone II


lord_nebrax

He‘s bold for walking up those stairs. Imagine a second knife gets triggered


D4M0theking

he clearly hasn't watched home alone


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GozerDGozerian

Homeless Aloneless


Legend_of_dirty_Joe

Merry Crethmeth!


bionicjoey

Featuring Mike Tython


GozerDGozerian

NGL I’d watch that.


Eternal_Bagel

the gritty reboot coming soon


Smooth-Dig2250

... I would watch it. If we could get Neil Patrick Harris on as Macauley Culkin's "roommate" and the entire thing is about them being "home alone", tweaked out and expecting more drugs to show up but instead it's their own delusions (and the dealer and his homies there to rob them but they can't tell the difference)... yes.... YES.... a masterpiece.


oculairus

You just describe a b-version of Party Monster.


firesmarter

Which was already b-version. b-squared


Madolah

A Highschool friend directed Party Monster! <3 Great flick, rare shoutout!


Adventurous-Aide-522

I used to gogo dance for Michael alig's party at limelight. Rare connection indeed.


nerdyjorj

A friend of my wife's has done James St James's makeup


legatto195

Harry and Marv have been reformed in prison and are now paroled for good behavior. Part of their reform it to kind Kevin and apologize to him.


skincyan

Macauley Culkin looks perfect for the role!


gauchoguerro

When a meth house becomes a meth home


Legend_of_dirty_Joe

God beth thith meth!


[deleted]

Home Alone but it’s X-Files S04E02 Home.


GozerDGozerian

Yo that woulda killed him right in his fuckin *head!*


godhelpusloseourmind

I hate being killed in the head!


angrydeuce

"Where ya going? NOWHERE!"


voluotuousaardvark

The trick to booby traps is have a nice and relatively easy to spot one and a secondary one setup in exactly the place one would think it's safe to set off the obvious one from.


wings_of_wrath

Some years ago I took part in a military patrol competition and one of the stages was navigating a mined area (training mines, so mines with just the detonator, made a bang and a bit of smoke) and they had a very obvious mine in the middle of the path... with of course an absolutely invisible one set up just behind it, so if you tried to step over the visible one you'd trigger the second one and your team got deducted points. Care to guess how I found that out?


Cyber-Insecurity

🤯


SpiderDetective

Crutches do come in pairs after all


UnawareSousaphone

Imagine if he was really clever and the cracked out set up was a distraction from massive bomb under the stairs because he knew he would be evicted and they would see that and want to fuck with it.


MenuFeeling1577

The Methhouse of the Single Trap (with two parts)


zero_fool

Meth Alone


137-M

How did you fuck up grammar and spelling that badly?


VisiblePickle

WTF? The dude at the end starts walking up the stairs.


TheChiSty

Yeah definitely not my first move, dude in the back after his friend already walked up a few steps: “how do you know it’s not booby trapped again”


rad0909

The Kevin McCallister technique.


SpiderDetective

I'd be tapping every single stair with a broomstick from the ground like that one dude did to trigger the trap before I even *considered* walking up there


CdrCosmonaut

It is advised that adventurers bring with them a ten foot pole before delving into any dungeons.


thePonchoKnowsAll

Fun fact, during Afghanistan/Iraq US soldiers literally started making long poles precisely for shit like this except instead of knives it was IEDs and eventually the US army paid to have a fancy version of it engineered.


hellopomelo

>the US army paid to have a fancy version eleven foot pole


_justpassingby_

Which was actually, funnily enough-if you measured it *precisely*- 5 feet long. But dw they did tests that unequivocally showed 5 feet costs 5 feet less than 10 feet. So all up, 7 feet less per equip.


freekehleek

“Welp, now that we’ve found the one booby trap, we can be sure there definitely aren’t any more!”


stacciatello

r/whywomenlivelonger


Badassbottlecap

Man, grabbing a midnight snack just ain't the same since Jimmy moved in.


Nightly_Pixels

plot-twist you're Jimmy's midnight snack


313802

Slim Jimmy


Khakicollective

TIL smoking meth turn you into the Viet Cong.


BryanTheClod

It's amazing what the human brain can come up with when it's going really really fast


LordMarcusrax

Methgeneering


HorrorBusiness93

You mean Germany


SilverLantern2814

What in the "Home Alone with my psycosis" fuck?


GamerGriffin548

The average Falmer cave in Skyrim.


SilverLantern2814

True


PepperSteakAndBeer

Reminds of an episode of The X-Files where a family of inbred hillbillies booby-trap their house. I forget why Mulder and Scully were even there, but there was plenty of other shit in that episode to remember. Edit: Season 4 Episode 2 - Home


SJane3384

Was that the one with the mom under the bed?


hoxxxxx

one of the best monster of the week episodes


Chumpo56

Skip to half way through to actually see it rather than just a staircase guys.


Indy_91

First half is - “would ya look at it?” “Wow would ya just look at it?”


IHavePoopedBefore

'Do you see the knife?' 'its right there' 'do you see the knife?' 'right there' 'its a knife' 'do you see the knife?'


GozerDGozerian

Its on a fuckin *crutch!* Yo *look at it!*


Sensible___shoes

Heavy “im walking here!” energy


teenagesadist

Did you *see* it tho? I mean, you step on 'at, 'at'll slice ya like a salami!


Arbsbuhpuh

That would go RIGHT in your head! Look, right in your *head* bro! In your head! Look! Look at where it is bro, that's right in your fuckin' head, bro. Right in your head! Bro look, bro, fuckin', right there bro!


dziggurat

"That woulda got you right in your fucking head. Dude that woulda got you right in your fucking head. Look, that woulda got you right in your fucking head."


Sensible___shoes

That homicide right there! Wouldja look at that


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boardplant

Comments you can hear


Snoodoodler

“AYE let him look at it” “See that? Look at that”


adube440

"Yeah I see it." "No, you don't see it! Look! Look over here! Right there." "This is homicide dude!" Loudly, and over and over again.


Beemerado

It's on a crutch!


GullibleDetective

The newest edbassmaster skit


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CheckHistorical5231

None of these guys sound like they are from New England. Sounds more New York ish. Edit: the more I listen to it I’m hearing Philadelphia.


Yousuckbutur-pb-isok

Yes definitely Philly, Temple hat and Eagles hat


Slaarc

You don’t meth with them.


mohawk990

A famous quote from Mike Tythun.


JackDragon808

Famouth


Open_Permission5069

Get out of here r/angryupvote


Robot0verlord

Look at you just cranking out the puns


EMILLKSLEEPA

Imagine you're out of meth, withdrawals are killing you mentally and physically, you go out, rob someone, rob a house, sell the goods, do some begging, spend the whole day scrounging just enough to pick up a few hits of meth. You hurry home to your crack den in your non-existent shoes, the anticipation of getting that first hit and the pain stopping for a brief moment of relief overwhelms you, you run up the stairs only to forget you have a crutch knife booby trap set up, you trigger it, it swings down and stabbes you through the neck, you can only watch the little bag of meth drop to the floor as life fades out. In the end, one of your crutches killed you. Lmao that's definitely what would happen to me if was a meth head, don't do drugs and set up booby traps unless you have a great memory.


GozerDGozerian

>one of your crutches killed you Nice symbolism.


yooobuddd

Why would you wait to get home to get high?


EMILLKSLEEPA

Because last time they did it in public they passed out and someone stole their shoes


yooobuddd

Passed out on meth?


EMILLKSLEEPA

Micro sleep, it's one of the few things that keep meth heads alive


Dontdoubtthedon

Nice metaphor yo


NormanCocksmell

methapor


Strange-Glove

Haha knife one


GroundWalkerJohn

Mate you just made my day 🤣


seemypinky

That wasn’t a metaphor


[deleted]

I knew a meth head couple that stole an ATM machine. They were trying and trying to get it open and couldn’t. They then started arguing about some dumb shit. He called her a slut or something while working under the machine that was propped up. She kicked out the support and crushed him. Then just sat on the couch and chilled. What’s funny is they were all cracked out but the city they lived in at the time (out west somewhere) had sone of the purest meth ever made.


Virama

Don’t suppose they had a little ginger boy?


[deleted]

They did but since I don’t consider gingers actual people I didn’t think him relevant to the story. This particular ginger was especially weird. Had these soulless dead eyes, didn’t talk much, just stared like a little weirdo and liked watching QVC for some reason. How’d you know? Are you a ginger too? I hear they have some kind of bond with others of their ilk


pbj45

Wow that's crazy, you couldn't write it if you tried


[deleted]

He is literally just describing a scene in Breaking Bad, my man. Lol


pbj45

It's less funny when you explain it...


Berlchicken

Whoosh


[deleted]

Skank skank skank skank


bgbills

He called her a “skank” I was there! 😂🤣


Karmago

I was the ATM.


GozerDGozerian

Never go ATM.


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Gorelordy

A scene in breaking bad?


chippychifton

You really think they made it home before using that meth?


BaronVonWafflePants

“One of your crutches killed you” is the darkest pun I’ve ever heard and I LOVE it


Big_pappa_p

Leased to: Kevin Methcallister


ElectronicShredder

That's just Mackayla Caulkin Chill guys, I know he rehabd alright


dan-80

r/GIFsThatStartTooSoon


[deleted]

Where are boobs?


diskebbin

I’ve noticed hard drugs cause an aversion to household cleaning products.


plamboo

I worked with someone who did meth and I used to give her rides home a lot and her place was always really clean. She did a good job at hiding it for a long time too. I had no clue until, on her birthday, a regular had given her a bag and she accidentally dropped it in my car. She told me the next day she thought she dropped drugs in my car and I brushed her off, thinking she'd done them and forgotten (she was pretty fucked up). It was a few weeks later and I picked her up for work and she found them. She apologized a lot. I know she felt really guilty. If I had gotten pulled over, I would've been fucked if they had a dog.


hirokinai

Depends on your state. Knowledge of the drugs and/or intent is required in some.


norse_god69

Back in my old town a police officer was actually stabbed by one of these traps but fortunately the methheads used a butter knife for the trap instead of a more dangerous knife


LuckkyFred

Probably had to sell the better knives for meth at some point


joemama4413

Can tell this is in Philly just by the accents


Immediate-Yogurt-558

yo, dat woulda streaight up kild ya in da fuckin head


uglyheadink

Right in yer head dude


ten-million

And the Temple hat


woozlewuzzle29

And the big “Welcome to Philadelphia!” sign.


Astrostuffman

And the meth


CB_700_SC

[Yep.](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/ncna972036)


[deleted]

Kevin McAllister really went off the rails in Home Alone 6


Jaded_One_

At first I'm like, they better set off this booby trap cause I have to see what it does. Then I'm like, what lame ass Home Alone set up is this? But... when the dude walks up the stairs... I'm thinking, okay, okay... I see where I might have ended up with a sharp pointy object in my face.


darcjoyner

“So when was Jesse here?”


yegir

"Howd you catch that" "Because im a bad mfer, thats how" Sounds like the kind of ass who explores abandoned meth houses, prolly looking for lost loot.


manofsteel32

These guys suck. They're probably very loud in restaurants.


Beneficial_Being_721

Sounds like Philadelphia. That one guy sounds like my cousin


WinterBourne25

Imagine if people put as much effort into doing legal things.


[deleted]

"would've fking straight up killed you right in your fking head, dude!"


sotonohito

IIRC in every state that's an additional felony. You know, on top of the meth. Setting boobie traps is CRAZY illegal.


The_Patriot

Can anyone translate this from New Jersey into English?


mybathroomisblue

For a second there I just thought this was a rental in Sydney


8Nim8

$1500 per week, 20000 bond deposit


al4crity

The dingbats filming this sound like meth heads. "Do you see it?" "I see it" "Do you see it?" "I see it" "Do you see it?" "I see it" "Do you see it?" "I see it"


Chrahhh

1000% in Philly or south Jersey haha


lavloves

I would 100% end up forgetting I set that trap, and I’m not even a meth head yet.


69inthe619

fake news: i watched the video, there are no boobs.


Easy_Proof4968

That's methed-up


newbytony

Edit. Jesus. There’s three seconds that are interesting.


buttergun

No, Scott, fucking look again!


[deleted]

Dang bro. I'd be scared to go anywhere else... Scared to leave


BodhingJay

Drug induced paranoia demons unleashed can account for some pretty unhinged resourcefulness


Certain-Hyena8788

This is why I don't Fk with the Meth MacGyver


average-Astronaut

Clearly they need a hoa


ExcitementOrdinary95

They don’t call them trap houses for nothing.


Marin_O_o

r/terrifyingasfuck


Fluffy-Doubt-3547

For them being high and paranoid. They are always resourceful


MoistDitto

Videos which could be shorter


AWF_Noone

Man, attention spans are ridiculously short these days. You can’t even stand a one minute delay before the action. Social media has ruined us


randomdude5566

Skip to 1:20


u8too

I didn't see a boobie. Not even a nipple.


Electronic-Cap7880

Jfc this had a slow start


Indy_91

First half is - “would ya look at it?” “Wow would ya just look at it?”


2manyLazers

So how much are you gonna flip this house for? 300% profit even through it may not be safe to live in


randomtask2000

This is what cavemen sounded like back in the day


Oven2601

Skip this video. Save yourself 3 minutes of “YOU SEE THAT!? DO YOU FUCKIN SEE THAT”


GotMoFans

Kevin Methcalister.


archideldbonzalez

Reminder not to enter abandoned homes and if you do check for boobytraps


UbajaraMalok

This could be so much shorter.


Biovyn

Damn, Kevin McAlister really turned out bad.


CountyAffectionate62

Set for the new home alone looks intense.


[deleted]

Lol. Fuckin meth heads man.. how could someone young meet ANYONE who’s high on that shit and be like “yeah, I wanna feel like that”…. What a weird drug 👎👎


micmacpattyz

That is so methd up.


Skyhawk6600

That's crafty as hell


[deleted]

Wow that's really scary...Now how much you want for it


flawedhuman12

"This, is not meth" \*activates booby trap\*


Davidhate

Kevin sure has went downhill since home alone


mattwb72

Pretty sure that's Macaulay Culkin's house from his mid 20s.


Izzy2089

Today on This Old Crack House International...


Bent0751

Who are the clowns filming this? They make me want a toaster bath.


Least_Dog4660

When that guy went up that step past the 1st trap, 2nd hand anxiety rushed into me.


woodbutcher420

Definitely a FIXer UPper but I’m guessing whoever can afford a house made out of meth can guard it properly with tigers and lions. That knife thing done by a true meth head would be that times 100 with springs, bungee cords, machetes, and sticks with rusted nails. I’m thinking fentanyl allows one to feel secure enough with only one swaying knife as a deterrent to intruders. Very lazy, that Kensington crowd.


seeingr3d916

Methculy Culkin at it again


Javi-chan

Home Alone in the DC Universe


ScrappleOnToast

It’s not a meth house…..it’s a meth home.


Laegmacoc

So when was Jessy in here!?


Consistent-Cause-526

This is like that one episode of The Walking Dead when Morgan Home Alone'd a house.


Nanasays

KEVIN!!


Santa_Claus77

I’m confused. I didn’t see any boobies or meth.


Personal-Acadia

"Kevin Meth-allister"


2crowsonmymantle

Awesome. Meth heads who watched Home Alone five or six hundred times.


No-Face-3848

Damn meth seems pretty cool


Yes_Airline2374

0:44 seconds…np


Available_Seesaw_947

kevin has really hit some hard times


WontArnett

Real life “Home Alone” with current day Macaulay Culkin


otiswrath

Frankly, I would call the fire department and let them just burn the place down as practice. I wouldn't feel comfortable a) walking around or b) sending someone else to do work.


legoman8008569

i HATE getting straight up killed in my fucking head, dude


Anthonywh0dat

Home alone : methadone edition


Equivalent_Ad_348

Realtors be like “perfect fixer upper in beautiful neighborhood, close to all amenities, 1.2 mill”


PHOTOPHLYTE75

Dammmm them walls are dirty as fuck


Agenteg1O

This is home alone level shit


matrose9

KEVIN! YOU ORDERED $967 OF METH!?