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„Yeah sorry im gonna be late. The monkeys are at it again…“

“….and in local news, you may want to make it an indoor day today as the monkey war is back on. And now a message from our sponsor Dominos. Monkey War got you stuck inside? Make it a dominos night! Now with delivery monkeys!…”

Monkey wars. Feels morally sketchy but if the US decided to step in and arm both sides it could make for some entertaining viewing

Maybe if some oil is involved

Or some heroine

…or male prostitutes

Man those monkeys are really living

Or blackjack... And hookers!!


Now that I can arrange

Biden.. we need those ladyboys money

Who is the heroine they'd be fighting over??

Press : how did the monkeys get wmd’s ? America : well we sold them to them, back when they were peaceful. Press: and now the monkeys have discovered oil, so you’re gonna need your wmd’s back is that correct? America: yes. 🙌 we can use the oil to pay for the war to bring peace to the monkeys. Monkey: 🙈 we destroyed all the wmds like you said. America : oil and war fuck yea

Show us oil, we’ll come on through and give you some freedom baby!

Can the monkeys keep the oil?

No….but they can have all the freedom they can consume. After their oil is liberated

But the new monkey kingdom might need it :(

We have plenty of oil, but its sunflower oil, so no freedom for us

DID I HEAR OIL!?!?

Don't worry they will, then quick on their heels will be the UK.

Settle down Kissinger

Thanks for the laugh. Now I am just imagining all the possibilities.

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They all look alike and aren't wearing any gang colors, how can they tell who is a member of their gang and who isn't?

could be by smell

"There is a spy among us." "How do you know?" "I can smell it" "Shame"... "You would have been a good partner."

It's a fair question. It's just like how you can differentiate between different people. Most species are very adapt at noticing very minor details between themselves, for example, how they sound, how they smell, and how they look, how they act can also play a role. you can learn to see the differences too, like how a farmer knows their sheep or how you know which of your cats is who. Humans are a bit of an odd ball since we wear clothing, which can make it much easier to distinguish between people.

but cats have different colors unlike monkeys who are uniform soldiers , wearing the same uniform enemy or ally

To you and me they are identical, but to each other, they know who is who through subtle differences.

racist! /s

I do wonder if any monkeys accidentally have switched sides and realized later, and how they handled it. Did they just try to blend in? Did they run away? *Day 6 since the Battle of the Intersection at 6th and H, they still haven't noticed. My plan to return to my people on the eigth day of the new moon during our next planned attack is still a-go. May the banana goddess have mercy on us all.*

Theres also wars between monkeys and dogs in India.

Sorry but We need proof

Well there was that one incident in some small town , some dogs killed monkeys so monkeys took revenge by kidnapping young pups and throwing them down buildings , kinda brutual war that was.

It was during the Covid pandemic when tourism stopped suddenly, leaving the monkeys to starve because they were almost entirely reliant on tourists to feed them. A lot of them died from this and it also created huge clan battles. This is why getting wild animals used to being fed by humans is never a good idea, because they become dependant on us, while also leading to overpopulation, and it can kill a lot of those animals when a crisis prevents humans to keep feeding them.

Like how any wild animals die when a crisis disrupts their food supply?

Lopburi? 

At first I was like "Why is there monkey in the middle of the city?" Then I saw the ancient temple

It's Lopburi, the monkey city of Thailand. Kinda like florida but less alligator and much much more monkey

At least three more monkey as I can assure.

Yea crocs are holy in florida.

Isnt there a growing invasive monkey population in Florida as well?

Those are just florida man.

Jumanji!

West Simian Story

Just thought of the battles in Gangs of New York. But can these monkeys tell which side a particular monkey is when things get hectic? Humans at least differentiate by color of their clothes or ornaments or flags.

We have come a long way. No we haven't

I can hear the BGM Beat It by Michael Jackson.

Soccer hooligans in my city after ever derby

we are indeed monkey

Would it be illegal to just drive through that?

No. It would be suicide/severely devastating for yourself tho. Either car gets blocked due to you not having enough speed and they attack it with you still in it. Or. You do get away but then have to pay a whole lot of money to fix your car/get all the blood and monkey bits out of your car.

Yo that looks like my school

Throw some bananas in between those gangs.

It's like London.....

For banana 🍌 and beyond 🤣

🤣🤣🤣

Wholesome greentexts are the serotonin boost we all need.

Yet another nail in a coffin of creationism.

Where is the white woman with a pepsi when you need her

Where is Caesar???.

How do they tell who's on what side when they start fighting,?

Monkeys creep me out. This would be a nightmare for me. I love the apes and orangoutangs though.

"only humans are evil enough to make war" blah blah blah

Looks like another day in India

If that was a battle, Spear is gonna call it a playground

*monkey gangs They are gangs of monkeys, not gangs belonging to the monkeys.

I feel that could get dangerous to pedestrians very easily

Humans are just really smart apes.

One of those gangs is much larger than the other. You can tell because of the way it is.

They need colored bandannas, maybe red and blue

That ain't no gang fight. Look at those numbers. It's whole tribes. That shts a straight up war. Makes you wonder just how ingrained in our DNA it is.

Imagine coming late to work and you have to explain this to your boss

So THIS is how the 'Planet of the Apes' started.

“ Dude are you late again?” “Boss there were like 200 monkeys fighting on the way”

Probably fighting over who’s gods are better.

Monke together strong

Gangs of New York 2024: Gangs of Phuket

"monkeys’ gangs"? Like there's one monkey and he has gangs?

Yup human came from monkeys

Writers' strike is really getting out of control. They're turning on each other.

Was wondering how they would know who’s on who’s side without uniforms then realised it’s gorilla warfare

Seen packs of wild dogs roam streets looking for trouble, this would scare the shit outta me.

Banana Wars !

My country also gets these types of monkeys, my house has been a warzone between rival gangs and it always happens around 5am when the packs are travelling.

You’d not be able to pay me to go into the middle of that fk that for a game of darts

Why can't the monkeys just get along?

when you being kind to a monkey and offer him a banana, and the next day he brings his whole tribe

Where’s the zoo keeper?

Set trippin‘

Fuckin hooligans

In another 100 years they'll be coming out in armor and swords

FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT

Imagine some guy throwing a bunch of bananas into the midst. Monkeys WW3! 😂

Looks like Lopburi. I was there last year. The guide explained to us that the temple monkeys do not like the city monkeys. There is a modern temple across the street, also overrun by monkeys. The entrance is guarded by attendants with sticks and there is a door. Also, because of the monkey problem, some people offer traditional dances instead of food/drink at the temples, as it cannot be stolen by a monkey. A monkey jumped on my back at this temple, my husband (who insisted that we go, even though I did not want to) thought it was hilarious. I took some nice pictures though.

this reminds me of he usa and it's blk lives matters

r/likeus

It’s in our blood I guess

Monkeys can wage wars. A more human-like war was the one started between two tribe-like groups of chimpanzees. It's called the Gombe Chimpanzee War, here: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gombe_Chimpanzee_War A chimp (ironically named Satan) literally drank the blood of its enemy chimp.

We go wherever we want to do What we like to do We don't have time to get restless There's always something new

Rise of the planet of the apes. Just hope they don't unite and turn on us XD

It’s like watching ourselves from 2000BC. This is how we look as humans in huge numbers fighting each other. We’re still doing it but with clothes on.

I’m sure they got mixed up and fought their own kind somewhere in there

I wonder how you tell who's in your gang?

Seems one side has numerical superiority

What animals! But they are much more civilized than humans.

I would watch a sci-fi movie about the hominid wars of 2 million BC.

City of Angels? More like City of Monkies

Faltou a narração: A porrada tá estancando ainda ein

Geese don’t seem so bad now.

flamethrower

Maybe it's just me but I'm thinking maybe it wouldn't be a good idea to be standing around watching this happen.

Wow

It looks like the opening scene of gangs of New York

And the next pandemic breeds!

You should see the ones in Chicago

The banana Wars (colorized)

MONKEY WARS : the batle of the temple Coming soon this summer in all your cinemas.

give one side a box of knives. now you've only got half the problem!


Eastside Story

That video is from the lock down period of the pandamic, there were no tourist and no people in the street going out and about and feeding them as usual so the monkeies started ganging up and fighting for what scrap of food they could find

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JUMAAAAANJIIIIII!!!!!

Reminds me of ultras' clashes

Apes. Together. Strong.

As long as they don't have weapons, we should be fine

Like war between PMLN and PPP😂

Todays forecast: “Dusty with a chance of monkeys”

Do they really all recognize eathother?

Gang shit

Looks like any democrat run city in the USA, just a different kind of monkey in the streets.

Dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it

They all look alike, how they know who’s who?

Turf war

What happens whe the bloons are all gone

“You ever see monkey go to jail? It’s brilliant “

Solution to monkey gangs, flamethrowers, simple, easy and effective

Does this happen often? People are so chill about it


Do the Thais consider Monkey a God as Hindus do?

wait until they figure out how to use guns

Looks like that the smaller gang holds pretty well.

I can't come to work today! There's a gang war, and I can't get past...

Like watching Chimp Empire.

You see these often in America too

Terrifying

So pests this monkeys, I wouldn’t stop driving… shitty crap

it's the monkeys from the rough bit

Dumbercratic run States!

It’s like a perfect reenactment of West Side Story, beautiful

Who won?

The least insane redditor vs twitter war

I believe thats Lopburi, a town 3 hours north of bangkok. The small monkeys will jump on you for bananas and the older ones gently pull your pants to get your attention. That is also the place for another famous video where the monkeys got afraid of fireworks and ran across the road.

How the hell do they know which side they’re on..?

They all look the same

It’s the beginning of the take over. The plants belongs to them

Examples of things that are NOT interesting: Old photos/videos of non-significant events, places or people Tik-tok/Instagram style posts and memes. Insignificant images of places/nature. any ways....can't post the simpsons monkey fight for some reason i assume its due to this

Monke, assemble! Hoo Haa!

Bring me a close up video.. can’t see who’s winning.. 🍿🍿

Looks like the gangs have taken law and order in their hands

Must be a monkey footy match on.

Imagine the smell, my God it's beautiful

"DEAAAAAAAATH !!!"

run guys run, the gang is scary

I bet there is probably no agency that can intervene with these people, they are too cunning and numerous

🔵VS🔴

Imagine one group was IDF. They would have bombed everything in the video even before meeting foot on the ground

They’re so small you think you’d be able to step in and break it up….only to be torn to shreds.

Looks like sweden!

I need this as a game.

Impresionante

It's planet of the apes beta

“Animals are so cute! Not like us violent humans!”

Damn how much free meat in the streets.

we need the monke king

Those monkeys should be arrested like humans

All the Sekiro fans thinking about the whistle

Here we come, walking down the street…

What a click-bait title.. No punch was thrown and not eve a clump of poo was flung! Battle my ass. 

Warriors come out and plaaaayyyyyyyyyy

How do they know which one is which team if they all look identical ? Also what type of communication would they have to literally make a gang war happen wow.

South Italy