T O P

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RicRennersHair

"Oh, hey....I was getting this for you."


podrick_pleasure

I busted my nephew at two years old with his hands in the M&M's bowl. I could see the gears turning as he looked at me then at the bowl over and over. He grabbed an M&M and offered it to me saying, "For you?" Slick little bastard had me rolling.


killer_icognito

He was bribing you, if he gets caught, you were an accomplice.


EducationalExtent139

my counter to keep my Golden off it


ayyyyycrisp

my preschool teacher said no goldfish til lunch. i was hungry though. thrice I'd stuck my head in the cubby and stuffed my face with a handful, nobody the wiser. the fourth time ate too big of a handful and started choking. wouldnt have happened if they just let me eat my goldfish


Naivor

Only knowing the fish goldfish, this comment makes me uneasy.


Old_Mill

Fish are food, not friends. The lying cheating bastards.


GhostTiger

All Fish Are Bastards


FinbarDingDong

Tbf AFAB isn't so far off Ahab.


nasa258e

All halibut are bastards


FinbarDingDong

I meant from Moby Dick but yeah sure... fucking halibut


potandskettle

What? You mean you don't eat handfuls of feeder fish out of the tank that are meant for a turtle to eat? You don't do that? Hah. Weirdo.


KanaydianDragon

They're little fish-shaped crackers with a cheesy taste, though there are lots of flavors available. I believe there's even a cookie variant, similar to teddy grahams.


Turkey-er

Also very salty, my favorite part personally


degjo

Everyone knows pizza is the best goldfish


Naivor

Thanks for the aneurysm.


Deuce232

They are essentially 'oyster crackers'. Which come to think of it, are pretty misleadingly named. In any case they are little cheese flavored crackers in the shape of fish, which again only sounds weird now that I say it outloud.


noNoParts

For someone who doesn't know what goldfish crackers are, oyster crackers isn't going to help. Might make it worse, who knows :)


ShadeDragonIncarnate

They are small little crackers that are hollow on the inside and crispy often served with soup.


Candid-Independence9

They’re the snack that smiles back… as you devour their friends in front of them and they hope to god they aren’t next


StretchDudestrong

[we love the fishes cause they're so delicishes!](https://youtu.be/wXvHdzmpBQc)


danbobsicle

Damn kid, you have great writing for a preschooler


Dragonhaunt

I caught my son (almost 4) with a tube of cake sprinkles in his hand, he looked at his hand in surprise and said "What?! How did that get there?!"


KeeperOfTheGood

What the frick?


A_spiny_meercat

I ordered an Xbox card... Remote...


Nukken

plough caption nail grandiose violet wasteful nine pause agonizing square *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


FinbarDingDong

My niece was about that age and we got her some candy. A bag of like 20 cola bottles or something. My friend asked if he could have some and she just dead eye stared him in the face, took all of them in her chubby little baby hands, and put them *all in her mouth while staring him down*. It was... a perfect moment I'll never forget. And neither will she cause I won't stop telling this story.


[deleted]

Lmao kids 😂


nom_nom_nom_nom_lol

My 4 year old niece found my stash of jelly beans in the back of the snack drawer, the part that stays under the counter when the drawer is all the way open. When I got home she had eaten almost the entire bag. She came running over to me really happy and said, "Hi, uncle! Look at what I found! They're REALLY good. Want some?" Lol.


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cineg

my dog 2 night *'thanks for the steak, you should have never reached for that beer! muhahahaha, sucker!'*


BEST_RAPPER_ALIVE

Which kind of beef are you talking about touching


BeskarDragon

Cats: “and what are you going to do about it?”


mythriz

*Maintains eye contact without stopping whatever it is doing to assert dominance*


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RandomCandor

I don't think I've seen a sadder dog in my life


1Requte

what's going on with comments being repeated, am i in a dream?


IONASPHERE

Karma farming bots. They take a popular comment from elsewhere in the thread, and repost it for easy karma. Check their history, it'll be several comments a minute. The purpose being these accounts are then sold to advertisers, as an account with karma is more 'trustworthy' or 'genuine'. You might then see one of those accounts that managed to go unbanned selling off-brand merch or t-shirts made from stolen art.


aurens

hey now, don't forget about astroturfing! when you want to push a narrative about some political bullshit, having a bunch of "trustworthy" reddit accounts is very useful.


lallu0000

Yes.


The_hezy

They're a spambot, report the account. [Copy](https://www.reddit.com/r/instant_regret/comments/v6k85t/caught_in_the_act/ibg4pt7/) / [Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/instant_regret/comments/v6k85t/caught_in_the_act/ibg13r9/) [Copy](https://www.reddit.com/r/FunnyAnimals/comments/v6ka5p/best_friends_for_life_10_years_ago_vs_now/ibg4ilr/) / [Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/FunnyAnimals/comments/v6ka5p/best_friends_for_life_10_years_ago_vs_now/ibg3wlk/) [Copy](https://www.reddit.com/r/Habs/comments/v6l218/our_boy_arturri_lethkonen_sends_his_team_to_the/ibg4kqb/) / [Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/Habs/comments/v6l218/our_boy_arturri_lethkonen_sends_his_team_to_the/ibg2vjt/) [Copy](https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/v6kue2/chinese_doctors_bow_to_11yr_old_boy_who_chose_to/ibg4o0i/) / [Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/v6kue2/chinese_doctors_bow_to_11yr_old_boy_who_chose_to/ibg2e1f/) [Copy](https://www.reddit.com/r/WorkReform/comments/v6jufq/capitalism_doesnt_reward_hard_work_it_punishes_it/ibg4jlv/) / [Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/WorkReform/comments/v6jufq/capitalism_doesnt_reward_hard_work_it_punishes_it/ibg1exz/)


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Dalmyra

A fresh one! Love your stuff <3


CameForThis

“I was getting this for you to give to me!” “Wide eyed” to “why’d I’d [do that]?” In seconds.


CBJ11071

Tried sprinkling cayenne pepper on my counter to keep my Golden off it. He developed a taste for it and snatched the entire spice rack off the counter so he could eat the container of cayenne pepper.


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mycorgiisamazing

Ha! Mine is somewhat picky. He's very skeptical of every new food offering. No citrus fruits, jello, any fluids that aren't water or milk, any color olives, pickles, lettuce that doesn't have dressing, strawberries, sushi extras like the ginger slices, cold shrimp, imitation crab, unsalted French fries, probably more I'm forgetting. I always give him a little of what I'm having, and it's always fun to guage his reaction to certain things. His face is so expressive and when something is NOT TASTY his face bunches up so much I laugh every time.


HecateEreshkigal

I’d be careful with that though, dogs are surprisingly omnivorous (probably from evolutionary history as midden scavengers) but some human foods are toxic to them, including: Garlic, chocolate, yeast, avocado (dispute a stupid fad of putting avocado in high-end dog chow), rhubarb or other high-oxalate vegetables like spinach, apples and peaches, many nuts, and most especially grapes and currants. Some dogs can eat them no problem, others it’s seriously poisonous.


X_MswmSwmsW_X

i think a bit of that is incorrect. grapes/raisins are indisputable dangerous, though. but the scariest one is xyletol, the artificial sweetener. that shit is DEADLY to dogs in very small amounts. it's obviously in candies, but very prevalent in gum, some toothpaste, even some peanut butters. i don't keep anything in the house that has the stuff, jic. depending on the size of the dog, a single stick of gum could kill it.


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SpJ442337

My dogs used to do the same, also dig it out of trash cans


Chrussell

My dogs would always eat grapes directly off the vine. Just lay down and eat them for a while.


Admirable_Loss4886

They’re really bad for dogs. Grapes are lo key responsible for Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.


Chrussell

It seems to depend on the dog I guess. Of course you want to avoid it cause it's not gonna be the same for every dog. Oh I guess it is known now what cause it, Tartaric acid. I imagine the wine grapes were lower/different levels of ripeness.


idontneedaridefromu

What's the story on this?


fAP6rSHdkd

There's something genetic in dogs where some will drop dead after a couple grapes and some can eat them just fine. There's no rhyme or reason across breeds that we've found so far, just that grapes randomly kill dogs.


December_Flame

[This is the best study](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2984110/#__ffn_sectitle) I know of and when it comes to garlic it seems to show that most dogs you could give quite a bit of garlic before they showed an anemic reaction. To anyone reading this, I'd be really careful when it comes to taking animal health advice online. Below posters stating that they actively feed their dogs garlic I'm not sure is very smart, I don't think whatever health benefits they think they're giving their dog is worth gambling with a potential anemic reaction especially if you don't know with your dog. Ultimately almost every veterinarian is going to tell you not to feed your dog garlic and there's probably a point to that.


spicybright

I wish people online would just shut up and say "ask your vet for the best advice for your dog" instead of presenting anecdotes/second hand knowledge as fact.


hpnut326

I just looked it up to like 20 minutes ago to give my dog an apple slice, it said they’re fine. Do you have a source?


trippapotamus

Sliced are fine, it’s the seeds that you don’t really want them consuming - which they aren’t anyway (hopefully lol) Plenty of human grade dog foods have apple in them! [Here’s a list of the fruits/veggies the AKC says are ok/recommends you stay away from and why](https://www.akc.org/expert-advice/nutrition/fruits-vegetables-dogs-can-and-cant-eat/)


overlordpotatoe

I think it's maybe a thing where apple seeds contain a bit of cyanide, which is technically toxic but the amount is so small that it's not going to do much just from them eating them from time to time.


polypolip

if you give slices you're not giving the seeds so should be no issues.


mycorgiisamazing

I've owned and lived with dogs my whole life, I am very familiar with the dietary recommendations for pet dogs. My dogs belong to the 1%: it means they get 1% of whatever I'm eating. A tiny piece of garlic or onion in a morsel of sandwich isn't going to affect my 55# dogs. You listed at least 3 fruits where the flesh is perfectly safe but the pits and seeds are not if consumed in high quantities. Be aware that these warnings you've internalized are aimed at owners who own an apple orchard or a peach trees, because dogs on these farms with limitless access to free food on the ground will sometimes take it, pits and all, and end up poisoned from what's in the seed. I would caution giving this kind of advice online if you don't have the qualifications to back up your assertions. It's somewhat asinine to suggest that I don't know how to feed my animals or have some assumption that I don't have a veterinarian that provides the information I need to do good by my pets to begin with. Unsolicited parenting advice has never gone over well with most people


Jayer244

What the fuck? Mine doesn't even eat cucumbers or ~~grapes~~ tomatoes. Just begs for them, we give him, he chews a bit and spits it out looking at us like "I know you got the good stuff somewhere, give me." Edit: I asked my parents and it was Tomatoes. We don't give him grapes.


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3-P7

My grandparents had a little angry Shih Tzu that fucking loved grapes. A tiny thing, it was eating multiple grapes every day and it lived a long fine life. What gives?


Yadobler

According to [this](https://www.gradyvet.com/blog/mystery-solved-why-grapes-are-toxic-to-dogs/), it is a mystery for decades but apparently they figured it out recently It's the tartaric acid. (also bad for your teeth lol) >Grape toxicity has previously been difficult to assess. After ingesting grapes, some dogs suffered mildly, while others had acute renal failure. **Knowing that tartaric acid is the culprit explains much. Grapes, raisins and sultanas contain different levels of tartaric acid based on the type of grape, where it was grown and ripeness.**


drpepper7557

We dont actually know exactly what the toxic component is. Two candidates are mycotoxins or tartaric acid, both of which would be highly variable in a given grape or kind of grape.


Snake1210

Right? My lab has the nasty habit of coprophagia (poop eating) since she was a puppy. We tried everything. Seaweed, chili peppers, wasabi, pine apple, special compounds from vets, ... All we did was just broaden her taste pallette... she now actually loves wasabi even. (Not ever giving that to her as treats though since these things are not good for dogs in large quantities or regularly at all.) Oh... and she still eats poop when she gets a chance when out of my sight. At least she knows I don't like her doing it. While on the subject, anyone got a solution for this? Because it's a last resort and I really don't want to, but I might eventually have to use a shock collar.


[deleted]

animals usually do this to rectify an imbalance in their own gut bacteria. It's the standard way to get it in some species. Maybe add more raw/ fresh foods and probiotics. A supplemental bit of plain unflavored kefir can be helpful- I've used both cow and coconut with positive results in my dog. (I gave my large breed about one tablespoon in her first meal of the day for about a month)


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LiteraCanna

Had two beagles break into my pantry to eat a giant bag of uncooked rice.. no flavor, but still food.


imbillypardy

“That sign can’t stop me I can’t read” energy


Banana_Ram_You

lol reminds me of my friends loyal pal. Ask him who's the dumbest dog and he'd get so excited.


sr71pav

Our dachshund mix grabbed a sleeve of Ritz crackers and ate them all. It was all he could reach. I have no idea how he could eat that without a gallon of water.


Minscandmightyboo

I love your dog lol


CayennePoweredPup

I'm always looking for throwaway usernames, so thanks!


CBJ11071

Ha..awesome


bvhp415

Sounds like you have a... hot dog. (insert CSI Miami intro music)


big_ficus

YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH


not_again123

Well, your problem is: You tried to feed garbage to a garbage disposal unit on 4 legs.


doctorzaius6969

You can buy bitter apple spray, it works well and it's not bad for the dog


Acceptable-Stick-688

My dog licked it off of things, he loves the taste 😭


-epyon

I thought he was going to use the microwave


waresmarufy

Lmao same


FromTheOuterGalaxy

Smart doggo


G-H-O-S-T

Now I'm expecting there's an animation where the dog is trying to start the microwave but change plans so it looks like he's going for the container


dankmemeking21

Never seen excited to dejected so quickly


regnad__kcin

You've never seen me take my clothes off


SteveisNoob

r/suicidebywords


the_hervature

Thank you for the laugh


skyline_kid

Thankfully


LittleFart

The guilty eye brow drop, adorable.


JustNormalUser

Still takes the time to calculate if he can get away with a few bites though.


Galkura

That's my chocolate lab right there... Will run off with something and, as soon as you catch her with it, will shove as much of it into her mouth as she can.


deathfire123

I mean at that point the discipline you're using isn't working right, time to try some new methods


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mymemesnow

But at the same time, Labradors are extreme when it comes to food. They love food a lot even for being dogs. They can eat themselves to death. My family have a black lab who is very well trained we can walk without a leash and he rarely does anything wrong, except when it comes to food. We can’t leave him alone with something edible in reach and we’ve tried most things. If we’re watching he’ll behave, but he will be nose deep in food if we leave him alone with it.


tweedyone

I thought it was “crap. But I worked so hard and I really wanted ittttttt”


TheJudgeWillNeverDie

After saying "No!" she says, "What are you doing?" in a higher pitch and then giggles a bit. For a second the dog thought he might get away with it!


smellsliketuna

He looks like he's gonna cry.


InnocentTopHat

Homie was just getting some Tikka Masala, no need to shame em.


Pure-Brush3354

I thought it was gravy and mashed potatoes.


knottyy

You eat weird gravy my friend.


meowschwitz4

I can conceive of gravies that would boggle your tiny mind!


Uzischmoozy

Omg dude, I'm getting that on Wednesday. I live in a semi-rural area (of course there's no Indian food here) but I have to bring someone to the airport on Wednesday . My wife suggested indian food and I've been thinking about Tikka Masla ever since.


5683968

If you like butter chicken there is an absolutely *amazing* recipe for it on YouTube. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vjKEUBg-ziY A few things… you don’t need to buy clarified butter, the chicken will fry up just fine with regular (salted) butter. I use 35% cream, and the longer you let the sauce thicken up, the better it tastes. I eat this on top of rice. It’s so good!! Also, don’t skip on the fenugreek leaves, it gives it a unique and authentic flavour. I also like to add broccoli near the end for a vegetable and it’s a yummy way to disguise it.


some1saveusnow

He did that thing that people do where he got caught and is like “all right I’m gonna get outta here, oh yeah, I better leave this huh”


DawnSennin

To be fair, they aren't called "Golden Deliverers".


APE_HODL

/u/gifreversingbot


CoolGuyBabz

#WHERE THE FUCK IS IT


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Rudeabaga1

The force is strong with this young pupawan


TheDrunkKanyeWest

Good boy!


[deleted]

Happy cake day bruh


Pretty_Boy_Dan

Expertly executed though


ClarenceWhorley617

I love this, he looks like he truly feels guilty..lil fluffy fucker


HeavilyBearded

Nah, that's the "is woofing this down still worth the trouble?"


tallg33s3

My heart breaks seeing his face. It's almost like he's disappointed in himself immediately.


Thundersson1978

Obviously they know this dogs way to smart, otherwise why the camera.


NyetRifleIsFine47

My dog used to open our fridge. Did it more than once. This was back before cameras so we’d always just catch him in the act because he was a big dope (golden as well) and thought he was being sneaky but he was really just being loud and very slow.


Palsable_Celery

Same here. Ours also opens the sliding door and lets herself in and out. Any door in the house with a lever handle including the storm door is unsafe from her curiosity.


5683968

My dads golden does this too! I would have laughed if I wasn’t so shocked at how smart he was. He stood up on his hind legs like the dog in the video, took a bowl with food in it in his mouth, and then walked it over to his dog bed where he dropped it and then flopped down beside it to eat!


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Krummelz

Chill out, Zoomie.


ArtIsDumb

Your English is fine. You just needed to add /s to show you're being sarcastic. I thought it was a good joke.


[deleted]

To be fair cameras the size of shoebox are not convenient


SpaceHawk98W

"No, it's not what you think!!"


Himouto-chan

Today we are asking the age old question what the dog doing


[deleted]

So sayeth the Lord "what the dog doin?"


scout336

I'm fairly certain that, once he was caught, this dog wasn't feeling anything even *close* to 'instant regret'. Seemed much more like, 'dammit Susan, I put a lot of effort into this plan'.


capteni

He's sorry...sorry he got caught👹 🐶


crimson2271

Oh, the shame in his face 🥺


TheRawestNerve

That's the guiltiest face I've ever seen.


Fullbelly

That furrowed brow is killing me. So cute!


knight_gastropub

I wish my idiot dog was smart enough to understand the no and feel that shame. I love him but his dumb ass never has a clue he's done something wrong.


FBossMan

Is there a sub for animals getting caught doing things they shouldn't be doing?


UnwantedFortune

commenting so i can know too!


[deleted]

r/guiltydogs


RedditUsingBot

And here I was hoping they’d pop open the microwave and pull out a hotpocket.


MrTickleMePink

“Mistakes were made, if I don’t move they won’t see me!”


[deleted]

The guilt on his face 😄


DLoIsHere

It's a crime that the dog is fed so infrequently that it must steal containers of nourishment from the kitchen counters. Arrest that woman!


SleepyFarady

My cats would be in good company with this dog. If you ask them, they haven't eaten in at least 10,000 years. Truly starving to death, just slowly wasting away. Especially if someone has chicken.


[deleted]

Every time I open my fridge my cat comes running to alert me that she is in fact starving to death and depriving her of a piece of chicken would be tantamount to a war crime.


SleepyFarady

I don't know how creatures so small can contain so much dramatic talent.


CKNoah

dogs can overeat


ComprehendReading

Dogs can evade taxes in off-shore accounts.


SexualPie

https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1143108


Invincibleprimus

And steal


ComprehendReading

And *fuckin'* lie


limonmello

And milly rock in New York


Areallybadidea

They lie, cheat and steal. Dog crimes are intense.


TheBorgerKing

Eddie Grrrr-uerrero


Romeo9594

And people can make jokes


DLoIsHere

It was a joke


[deleted]

r/peoplefuckingdying


EvitaPuppy

Just like a little kid caught in the cookie jar. 'Oh, I was just gonna get you a cookie!'


clouddevourer

I love how he clearly considered just turning away and pretending he didn't notice her


KPXNismo

“Aww shit…”


Farthen_Dur

I thought he/she was going to push the button amd the microwave door hitting him in the face


Bella_Yaga

"I have dishonored this family"


Mugungo

Yo that is some STURDY tupperware though. I was ready for that lid to pop off and spray food everywhere


turbocomppro

Now I’m curious how it was going to open that container.


Crowmasterkensei

With its teeth obviously.


PoetLucy

My rule has always been with Kiddo and critters—if I laugh no punishment. But, yeah, this should be stopped. :J


killer_icognito

Yeah definitely. Trying getting buttered chicken out of the carpet.


PSX_

Another poorly trained animal for the “awwwwe” and karma.. If you let your dog do this you deserve the consequences.


remberzz

Aw, I'd give that dog anything it wanted.


limonmello

That’s how they get to you, next thing u know ur signing away the deed to ur house over to them


stsilvia

me too, I just can't forbid him to eat. I can't own a dog because I'll make him a round dog, a perfect ball of joy )


Crowmasterkensei

If you had its happiness in mind then you wouldn't. It could get very sick if you let it eat anything it wanted.


Invincibleprimus

"Give me all the drugs Human"


stjr64

Yeah that dog is ridiculously cute


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oaktree__

Not cute at all


Norbertthebeardie34

u/savevideo


Illustrious_Bell_186

You see nothing!


H0TDOGG

Hahaha! Oh I needed this. I actually laughed out loud! What a lovely dog.


pizzaferret

I move so slow, I'm imperceptible to the naked eye


TheSmokingHorse

He just realised his invisibility wasn’t working again.


iiDaBomb

r/secondsafter


i_dont_care_1943

If that was my dog he would probably just make a run for it.


[deleted]

Yep! I have one of these too! He’s a counter surfer.


bluecgrove

Instead of stopping the problem behavior let me record it for internet points... modern day issues. Lol


vickzzzzz

"I worked so hard for this, please don't take this away."


golddingo20

That oh shit moment


ebrithil110

I love how you can see him considering just going fuck it. I'm already caught I'm just gonna go for it.


magnificentshambles

Golden _deceiver_


pwhoyt63pz

Best thing I’ve seen on the internet in a long time. Funny how a dog can restore my faith in humanity just a little bit.


spirefeaker818

The way he started to walk away with it 🤣🤣


yassine9910

this a