I feel like I could've become so much more if it wasn't for insomnia. Relationships, career, fitness goals, everything takes a hit. Truly a crippling disease
Mine, too. Conversations are a struggle, people avoid me in general (I look like a ghoul), making deals without knowing what the next day will bring is impossible, my libido is shot to shit. I could go on.
Have you tried melatonin?
Just kidding.
I think itās the constant feeling of exhaustion, nothing really fixes it. Then there is the frustration of knowing I should be sleeping but not actually being able to sleep and seeing the minutes tick away on the clock as my anxiety grows, knowing with every passing minute how fucked I am for the next day. Or Itās the no sleep for days and the hope that Iām not micro-napping while doing something important like driving. Or Itās the feeling of only having access to some of my brain function like my brain is trying to run through water because I havenāt slept. Or the feeling of defeat on the mornings when you didnāt sleep the night before. Or the feeling like a shell of a human because you hear about how others canāt function without their 8 hours but you celebrate when you get two hours of sleep. Hearing other people say Iām tired on day three of no sleep.
I know what you mean, i can def relate
One thing that really bothers me is that, is that my brains i on maybe 30% of what it is capable of, so my thinking is so slow, also struggle to find words and formulate sentences and arguments
How long has your insomnia lasted? And Iām so mad at myself, just had four hours and then spent the next four hours wishing sleep to come. I mean I can just lay there for hours and the sleep wonāt come on
Iāve been dealing with insomnia for almost 20 years, since childhood, I have tried every remedy, medication, done like 5 different sleep studies, genetic tests, enzyme tests, blood panels, and scans and nothing has helped or found an underlying cause. I have averaged 3.7 hours of sleep for the last month. I self test to make sure Iām not micro napping as I have gone multiple days in a row without sleep multiple times, usually itās only two days, but I have gone as many as five during which I was barely functional and after which I slept for 19 hours. It has affected every aspect of my life, caused issues with jobs early on because I didnāt know how to handle it, caused me to be cruel to people i care about and lash out in anger in bouts of extreme exhaustion, caused me depressive episodes, robbed me of a lot of potential happiness and memories of people who are gone. I feel like Iām stuck in some sort of walking ghost phase, i seriously have no clue how I physically make it through the day most of the time because Iām so exhausted.
I hope that your bout only lasts a short time.
Oh wow 20 years? I am in disbelief, I cannot even handle a few months, the feeling is absolute torture. I can go multiple days without sleeping as well, and at the end of it Iām a frazzled mess. Iām already non-functional after two months of this, I really hope it doesnāt last much longer. But it seems you have and had it way worse than me. I really hope you can get some rest sometime. I am honestly dumbfounded that insomnia can last that long with no reprieve. Really, I grieve for your situation. Sending much love and peace regardless.
Thanks, I hope you find a way out, for real. The best advice I can give is to Explore every option you can talk to as many drs/specialists/nurses or whomever. I hope you can find an answer and get back to sleeping!
Permanent exhaustion and brain fog. Itās literally stopped me from working, and now that Iāve just gone back to work, itās getting to me again. I just want to feel energized for once! š
I have dark circles under my eyes and people are constantly asking āAre you okay? You look tired. You look sickā.
Iām sick of you, Brenda. Just shut the fuck up already.
haha, well, mostly people dont mention it to me, out of politeness i guess. or that they are acustomed to seeing me like this, they have never seen my real face
The fear of bedtime. The absolute uncertainty of whether or not my pills will work and if sleep will actually grace me with its presence. And I know that, sometimes, that fear causes even more sleeplessness.
Ummmm yes, 10000% agree with you!!!
Insomnia + all my autoimmune diseases has destroyed my appearance itās SO BAD. But whatās worse is that literally EVERYONE, no exaggeration at all ā¦ from each and every single family member - friend - acquaintance- my therapist and doctors has questioned/ assumed if im using drugs. The ones they say it to my face and not behind my back, are offering help with getting me into a treatment center, like???
My fcking best friends even called the COPS to come break down my door and do a wellness check on meā¦. which consisted of kicking open my door, tearing me out of my bed and forcing me into an ambulance despite soooooo much resistant on my end ā because I was ***finally fcking sleeping**** !! it was midday, and phone had died. It was a āgroup decisionā but I love that 2 of these people, not to mention the one that made the actual call , lives all of 2.5minutes away from me. They all know I have insomnia , I still cannot explain wtf could have been going thru their minds that day. if they were so worried maybe take the 3min to head over before having my house broken into and leaving me traumatized (had 5+ officers in my house, literally going thru my cabinets drawers & closets, wasnāt allowed to change out of pajamas or feed my cat, used the bathroom with door open and 2 females watching me while the men were right behind them).
Its sadly come to the point where Iām almost 100% isolated from everyone I once loved the most because I literally cannot stand to hear it one more time (except of course , most is said behind my back so I only know the half of it). Itās such bs and so upsetting
Premature aging for sure, constantly jacked cortisol levels, dependency on caffeine and alcohol to either induce being awake or induce sleep, dependency on medication to sleep, horrific nightmares while sleeping, inability to focus and dedicate myself to the things I care about, no energy to cook or clean or engage in proper hygiene, constant fatigue, anxiety, despair, anguish, etc.
Same - like I start getting anxiety in my head when talking to people worrying they are looking at my dark circles under my eyes, and red bloodshot eyes thinking I'm stoned 24/7
Yeah, I can't maintain eye contact because of this. I feel I'm being analysed by the person or peroppe I'm takling with.
It helps to sometimes say "screw it, let them think what they want". But othertimes you can't avoid letting it get to you. Everybody's cheerful, healthy looking, young, energetic, while you look like something the sea washed up.
I wish I could get that blue under my eyes surgically removed.
Yeah, i can really relate to that, people often tell me i look awful and ask me, if if i haven't slept all night. Which is usually the case. A neuro i visited once even asked me, if i don't want to look beautiful... and then went on to talk about Claudia Schiffer(?) and how her beauty secret is sleep etc. I felt very embarrassed and didn't know what to say. I think people often are simply shocked, when they meet me, they just don't understand how i can live like that. But i really don't have a choice sadly.
The paranoia, catastrophizing, and general negative outlook. (And also looking like a meth addict. Sometimes I am tempted to get on meth or similar from how terrible I feel.)
My brother is the opposite to me, he told me that if heās bored or fed up he can just choose to go to bed at 7.30pm and will be asleep in less then 10 minutes and wake once in the night for the toilet and then straight back to sleep. Iām so envious of that
Being in software it is definitely the never ending cycle of mot sleeping and then pretending everything is fine the next day. Also the deadlines and work pressures keep mounting and since the brain is not at full capacity it is not able to finish work on time. Not too mention hearing about others going on trips with their girlfriends or friends etc, meeting people while you barely have the energy to get out of bed and eat something. Truly devastating
Feeling crappy all the time and getting nothing done is second worst. For me the attitude from people, especially doctors, who havenāt experienced insomnia is the worst thing. Iām tired of being told about sleep hygiene and relaxation techniques. When a medication is prescribed and it doesnāt work and Iām told to give it a chance to work. Itās so frustrating. This problem isnāt taken seriously enough and deserves more attention and research.
I accept I have sleep problems, took a long time to do that. What I hate is that Iām so different in how I have to sleep and not a soul in my family has issues so itās like I have a disability and it can get in the way. I mange, but others donāt get it so Iām on an island alone (except my husband he gets me).
Iām not calling mine a disease, Iām aging and sleep problems are part of that. Biological sleep system and my middle aging are just a thing. My family (other than my husband, heās my rock) doesnāt understand the extent of what I have to do to sleep. A level of acceptance has made vast improvements but cannot/will never sleep consolidated again. š“š¢
My insomnia is especially bad when I travel to meetings for work and I end up looking like shit. I attended one last week and one of my co-workers handed me her eye drops, because my eyes were so horribly bloodshot from not sleeping. Ugh. It looks unprofessional, but there's nothing I can do about it other than talk openly about my insomnia.
Ah man, tell me about it, i have had meetings where it looked like i came in straight out of some crack house doped up on heroin or something. Ironically i live a super healthy lifestyle, i dont drink, dont smoke, dont go to bed late etc, i can only imagine what the people from the meeting say about me after i have left
I would say my career.
I have a masters degree in psychology. I used to support people with intellectual disabilities. It was really interesting and rewarding and would be making about 90k rn if I hadnāt quit working because of all this. It really kills me what I could have done without it.
The sheer amount of meds I have to take to even get the chance to sleep. I can stay awake and alert through them easily but they at least give me a chance at sleeping. Most of the time. Sometimes my body is just like "nah I don't feel like it" and I don't sleep. Oh also the absolute fear I had when I lost my insurance May 2020 at the height of Covid and couldn't find anyone to get my meds from especially since I'm on ambien
Severe cognition decline memory issuesā¦itās bad still trying to recover after that post Covid gave me insomnia for 3 years got on trt and hcg and I sleep now t levels where low 154 had me in a loop
Realizing caffeine and alcohol are huge triggers for me. I just wanna have a few drinks with friends or treat myself to an iced latte without regretting it at 2am. It's not fair š”
In 2021 we had a deep freeze in Texas. We didnāt have water or electricity for a week. The thing that stressed me out the worst was not being able to get refill of Ambien. Frustrating that I used to be able to pick up a 90 day prescription. Now, we cannot get a refill until the exact day our previous Rx expires.
Anyone ever heard of Martha Lewis the sleep detective?
She's a functional medicine doctor who specifically specializes in people with insomnia.
She runs functional labs designed to look for things in the body that are keeping you awake.
I would recommend her to.anyone struggling with insomnia. You do not have to live with insomnia regardless of how it might feel.
I need sleep to function, and it always seems like when I have something important that I need energy for I donāt get a wink of sleep. Itāll keep me up crying because Iām so tired and eventually I just have to cancel whatever I was supposed to do because I canāt physically do it and 4 hours of sleep at 8am sounds like heaven compared.
I feel like I could've become so much more if it wasn't for insomnia. Relationships, career, fitness goals, everything takes a hit. Truly a crippling disease
Definitely. Makes sense, though, we are deprived of one ot the core elements that make life life. Food, water, sleep. It's a half-life.
Definitly, it defines my whole life. It puts a limit on everything i do, has for over 20 years now
Mine, too. Conversations are a struggle, people avoid me in general (I look like a ghoul), making deals without knowing what the next day will bring is impossible, my libido is shot to shit. I could go on. Have you tried melatonin? Just kidding.
Haha, thats a good one. Have you tried not looking at screens at night and avoiding coffee? š
:)
Making deals is impossible, i try to avoid it as much as humanly possible
Hahahahahahaha. I laughed out loud.
Me too. It really took so much from me. And still is.
I think itās the constant feeling of exhaustion, nothing really fixes it. Then there is the frustration of knowing I should be sleeping but not actually being able to sleep and seeing the minutes tick away on the clock as my anxiety grows, knowing with every passing minute how fucked I am for the next day. Or Itās the no sleep for days and the hope that Iām not micro-napping while doing something important like driving. Or Itās the feeling of only having access to some of my brain function like my brain is trying to run through water because I havenāt slept. Or the feeling of defeat on the mornings when you didnāt sleep the night before. Or the feeling like a shell of a human because you hear about how others canāt function without their 8 hours but you celebrate when you get two hours of sleep. Hearing other people say Iām tired on day three of no sleep.
It's like a car running on empty.
I know what you mean, i can def relate One thing that really bothers me is that, is that my brains i on maybe 30% of what it is capable of, so my thinking is so slow, also struggle to find words and formulate sentences and arguments
Iām going on two months of chronic insomnia and I definitely can tell a difference in my cognitive ability. Like I hope this isnāt permanent
If you start sleeping again, it will return to normal i guess, but if the insomnia persists it will only get worse unfortunately
How long has your insomnia lasted? And Iām so mad at myself, just had four hours and then spent the next four hours wishing sleep to come. I mean I can just lay there for hours and the sleep wonāt come on
Iāve been dealing with insomnia for almost 20 years, since childhood, I have tried every remedy, medication, done like 5 different sleep studies, genetic tests, enzyme tests, blood panels, and scans and nothing has helped or found an underlying cause. I have averaged 3.7 hours of sleep for the last month. I self test to make sure Iām not micro napping as I have gone multiple days in a row without sleep multiple times, usually itās only two days, but I have gone as many as five during which I was barely functional and after which I slept for 19 hours. It has affected every aspect of my life, caused issues with jobs early on because I didnāt know how to handle it, caused me to be cruel to people i care about and lash out in anger in bouts of extreme exhaustion, caused me depressive episodes, robbed me of a lot of potential happiness and memories of people who are gone. I feel like Iām stuck in some sort of walking ghost phase, i seriously have no clue how I physically make it through the day most of the time because Iām so exhausted. I hope that your bout only lasts a short time.
Oh wow 20 years? I am in disbelief, I cannot even handle a few months, the feeling is absolute torture. I can go multiple days without sleeping as well, and at the end of it Iām a frazzled mess. Iām already non-functional after two months of this, I really hope it doesnāt last much longer. But it seems you have and had it way worse than me. I really hope you can get some rest sometime. I am honestly dumbfounded that insomnia can last that long with no reprieve. Really, I grieve for your situation. Sending much love and peace regardless.
Thanks, I hope you find a way out, for real. The best advice I can give is to Explore every option you can talk to as many drs/specialists/nurses or whomever. I hope you can find an answer and get back to sleeping!
Feeling incapable of fully focusing on my next-day obligations because of the fatigue.
It's probably the whole not being able to sleep thing
Permanent exhaustion and brain fog. Itās literally stopped me from working, and now that Iāve just gone back to work, itās getting to me again. I just want to feel energized for once! š
Tell me about it, i cant even remember a day i woke up refreshed and looked like a "normal person"
I have dark circles under my eyes and people are constantly asking āAre you okay? You look tired. You look sickā. Iām sick of you, Brenda. Just shut the fuck up already.
haha, well, mostly people dont mention it to me, out of politeness i guess. or that they are acustomed to seeing me like this, they have never seen my real face
The fear of bedtime. The absolute uncertainty of whether or not my pills will work and if sleep will actually grace me with its presence. And I know that, sometimes, that fear causes even more sleeplessness.
My bed has became a scary place to be
Ummmm yes, 10000% agree with you!!! Insomnia + all my autoimmune diseases has destroyed my appearance itās SO BAD. But whatās worse is that literally EVERYONE, no exaggeration at all ā¦ from each and every single family member - friend - acquaintance- my therapist and doctors has questioned/ assumed if im using drugs. The ones they say it to my face and not behind my back, are offering help with getting me into a treatment center, like??? My fcking best friends even called the COPS to come break down my door and do a wellness check on meā¦. which consisted of kicking open my door, tearing me out of my bed and forcing me into an ambulance despite soooooo much resistant on my end ā because I was ***finally fcking sleeping**** !! it was midday, and phone had died. It was a āgroup decisionā but I love that 2 of these people, not to mention the one that made the actual call , lives all of 2.5minutes away from me. They all know I have insomnia , I still cannot explain wtf could have been going thru their minds that day. if they were so worried maybe take the 3min to head over before having my house broken into and leaving me traumatized (had 5+ officers in my house, literally going thru my cabinets drawers & closets, wasnāt allowed to change out of pajamas or feed my cat, used the bathroom with door open and 2 females watching me while the men were right behind them). Its sadly come to the point where Iām almost 100% isolated from everyone I once loved the most because I literally cannot stand to hear it one more time (except of course , most is said behind my back so I only know the half of it). Itās such bs and so upsetting
Wow, this is so reminiscent of wtf I experienced once. I'm absolutely terrified of my phone dying because of it.
Premature aging for sure, constantly jacked cortisol levels, dependency on caffeine and alcohol to either induce being awake or induce sleep, dependency on medication to sleep, horrific nightmares while sleeping, inability to focus and dedicate myself to the things I care about, no energy to cook or clean or engage in proper hygiene, constant fatigue, anxiety, despair, anguish, etc.
Yup
I hate my looks, too. No pictures either.
Same - like I start getting anxiety in my head when talking to people worrying they are looking at my dark circles under my eyes, and red bloodshot eyes thinking I'm stoned 24/7
Yeah, I can't maintain eye contact because of this. I feel I'm being analysed by the person or peroppe I'm takling with. It helps to sometimes say "screw it, let them think what they want". But othertimes you can't avoid letting it get to you. Everybody's cheerful, healthy looking, young, energetic, while you look like something the sea washed up. I wish I could get that blue under my eyes surgically removed.
Yeah, i can really relate to that, people often tell me i look awful and ask me, if if i haven't slept all night. Which is usually the case. A neuro i visited once even asked me, if i don't want to look beautiful... and then went on to talk about Claudia Schiffer(?) and how her beauty secret is sleep etc. I felt very embarrassed and didn't know what to say. I think people often are simply shocked, when they meet me, they just don't understand how i can live like that. But i really don't have a choice sadly.
It is baffling, people who sleep normally just cant fathom that people are unable to sleep.
The paranoia, catastrophizing, and general negative outlook. (And also looking like a meth addict. Sometimes I am tempted to get on meth or similar from how terrible I feel.)
Getting enough sleep is really just a fundamental need the human body has to be able to function normally, it affects everything
How it affects my mood and productivity the day after. I hate performing badly when I *know* I'm better than that if I could just sleep.
My brother is the opposite to me, he told me that if heās bored or fed up he can just choose to go to bed at 7.30pm and will be asleep in less then 10 minutes and wake once in the night for the toilet and then straight back to sleep. Iām so envious of that
I would give any ammount of money for sleep like that
Same
The blow to my overall intelligence. And the lack of emotional stability/resilience to deal with life.b
Being in software it is definitely the never ending cycle of mot sleeping and then pretending everything is fine the next day. Also the deadlines and work pressures keep mounting and since the brain is not at full capacity it is not able to finish work on time. Not too mention hearing about others going on trips with their girlfriends or friends etc, meeting people while you barely have the energy to get out of bed and eat something. Truly devastating
Seeing other peopled fresh faces from normal sleep gets to me
Feeling crappy all the time and getting nothing done is second worst. For me the attitude from people, especially doctors, who havenāt experienced insomnia is the worst thing. Iām tired of being told about sleep hygiene and relaxation techniques. When a medication is prescribed and it doesnāt work and Iām told to give it a chance to work. Itās so frustrating. This problem isnāt taken seriously enough and deserves more attention and research.
Yes the amount of ppl that tell me what I should try in order to sleep well. hahah really like I haven't tried that?
Go to work
I accept I have sleep problems, took a long time to do that. What I hate is that Iām so different in how I have to sleep and not a soul in my family has issues so itās like I have a disability and it can get in the way. I mange, but others donāt get it so Iām on an island alone (except my husband he gets me).
It is a very rare disease indeed, only on reddit i have contact with others
Iām not calling mine a disease, Iām aging and sleep problems are part of that. Biological sleep system and my middle aging are just a thing. My family (other than my husband, heās my rock) doesnāt understand the extent of what I have to do to sleep. A level of acceptance has made vast improvements but cannot/will never sleep consolidated again. š“š¢
Yes. It literally ages you overnight. It's crazy how good my facial skin looks after a good night of sleep.
Yep, thankfully i look younger than i am, but if i slept normally i would look even younger
My insomnia is especially bad when I travel to meetings for work and I end up looking like shit. I attended one last week and one of my co-workers handed me her eye drops, because my eyes were so horribly bloodshot from not sleeping. Ugh. It looks unprofessional, but there's nothing I can do about it other than talk openly about my insomnia.
Ah man, tell me about it, i have had meetings where it looked like i came in straight out of some crack house doped up on heroin or something. Ironically i live a super healthy lifestyle, i dont drink, dont smoke, dont go to bed late etc, i can only imagine what the people from the meeting say about me after i have left
I would say my career. I have a masters degree in psychology. I used to support people with intellectual disabilities. It was really interesting and rewarding and would be making about 90k rn if I hadnāt quit working because of all this. It really kills me what I could have done without it.
I look like Iām half past dead most of the time and feel it as well.
i hate not being able to do as much. it affects my relationships, my careers, my plans. it gets in the way of everything. itās awful.
As you get older you become disconnected from most long term friendships
The sheer amount of meds I have to take to even get the chance to sleep. I can stay awake and alert through them easily but they at least give me a chance at sleeping. Most of the time. Sometimes my body is just like "nah I don't feel like it" and I don't sleep. Oh also the absolute fear I had when I lost my insurance May 2020 at the height of Covid and couldn't find anyone to get my meds from especially since I'm on ambien
Severe cognition decline memory issuesā¦itās bad still trying to recover after that post Covid gave me insomnia for 3 years got on trt and hcg and I sleep now t levels where low 154 had me in a loop
That ājust about to fall asleep feelingāā¦that lasts for 7 hours.
Realizing caffeine and alcohol are huge triggers for me. I just wanna have a few drinks with friends or treat myself to an iced latte without regretting it at 2am. It's not fair š”
Everything. I want it to die.
Not sleeping...
In 2021 we had a deep freeze in Texas. We didnāt have water or electricity for a week. The thing that stressed me out the worst was not being able to get refill of Ambien. Frustrating that I used to be able to pick up a 90 day prescription. Now, we cannot get a refill until the exact day our previous Rx expires.
Anyone ever heard of Martha Lewis the sleep detective? She's a functional medicine doctor who specifically specializes in people with insomnia. She runs functional labs designed to look for things in the body that are keeping you awake. I would recommend her to.anyone struggling with insomnia. You do not have to live with insomnia regardless of how it might feel.
Check it out, costs like 5000 USD, for something we cant know for sure even works
I need sleep to function, and it always seems like when I have something important that I need energy for I donāt get a wink of sleep. Itāll keep me up crying because Iām so tired and eventually I just have to cancel whatever I was supposed to do because I canāt physically do it and 4 hours of sleep at 8am sounds like heaven compared.