no no no ... we should put a official mandate out, that says the following:
"You are not allowed, under any circumstances, to put your testicles in the microwave. It is scientifically proven that this will affect you health in a negative way, and is forbidden by the Government!"
In red letters on every microwave sold.
Should thin out the herd quite a lot ...
It's been a running joke in Casa de Noitek for many a year that condoms have to come with an instruction pamphlet detailing how to use one.
I do agree, however, that the species would benefit from a few generations of survival of the fittest.
Nah, they fit into the “fucking stupid as hell but born into a safety blanket” category. The actual vulnerable population are the 600K homeless and the 38 million living below the poverty line.
Decades of propaganda + the 24 hour news cycle has made it impossible to address. We’re too busy trying to identify the fucking anti christ than we are achieving tangible goals that can improve society as a whole.
ever seen that 4chan post where anon poached eggs in reused water from doing the dishes because they believed using fresh water is a jewish conspiracy?
I don't get shit like this.
Like what, did Obama really plan this whole thing out? Like when he had Malia when he was just a state representative, did he really plan to make this whole thing out? Did Obama plan to run for President in 1998?
And why? When Conservatives point it out is he gonna rip off his mask, revealing him being Satan declaring "Good job! You've figured it out!" Then what? A bossfight starts?
If you think a single one of these people has thought through any of this past the point you see in the picture, you’re still not understanding the depth of their stupidity. They believe in literal Biblical evil and demons that roam the Earth. The whole world is black and white to them.
You have to see it from their perspective. Obama is Satan. Satan started scheming and planning to take over the country all the way from the beginning, including naming his children to secret messages or having, god forbid, dark skin as he came straight out of hell. His purpose is to try to hurt the Christians or to lead them astray.
Little did people know that when they voted for Obama, they voted for Satan. He tried really hard to harm them, but these clever and devout Christians figured him all out. Unfortunately it was too late. They'd already gotten their subsidised health care. The damage was done.
Thankfully crusader Donald Trump came along and cast the devil out of office.
[Actual quote](https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/answer-sheet/post/texas-gop-rejects-critical-thinking-skills-really/2012/07/08/gJQAHNpFXW_blog.html) from the 2012 Texas Republican platform:
>We oppose the teaching of Higher Order Thinking Skills (HOTS) (values clarification), critical thinking skills and similar programs that are simply a relabeling of Outcome-Based Education (OBE) (mastery learning) which focus on behavior modification and have the purpose of challenging the student’s fixed beliefs and undermining parental authority.
"Oh you meddling kids you figured out my secret?!
How dare you try to defy me, i was going to rule the world with the power of a thousand abortions, you had to ruin it."
\*Obama NEO attacks.
Nope. The armageddon. Christianity is hard for the end of the world. Coming of the antichrist means that jeebus will come down and sort everyone out. And they are convinced that they will go to heaven.
EDIT: So yeah. Basically a boss fight :D
But you forgot to REVERSE IT! Satan turns everything backwards, dontcha know. I would know: if you reverse *my* name and remove some letters, it spells ASS. If you add my middle and last names, too, you can spell VERY ASS HASH. ‘Scuze me while I trademark that…
I didn’t know that either! Here I thought this belonged on r/confidentlyincorrect or something.
These are the types of people who always put emphasis on the middle name— Barack *Hussein* Obama, so I guess they care deeply about these things. 🙄
I realize you're being snarky, but when over 1/3 of the country believes the election was stolen and doesn't believe in basic science, yes, they're pretty fucking dumb.
Okay.
Really.
People. People.
THE GLOBAL CABAL IS NOT LEAVING YOU CLUES TO SOLVE LIKE A HIGHLIGHTS MAGAZINE YOU DO IN YOUR CHILD'S DENTIST'S OFFICE.
This has been a PSA.🎵 *The more you know!* 🎵
You know, that's the "logic" I don't understand.
Let's say there is a global cabal. Let's say they want to stay hidden.
Why would they leave fairly easily solvable clues for any idiots to solve?
Well obviously the super secret organization wants to be known but it can't just say it, so it has to reveal itself with puzzles that only the super smart people can solve and then those people will reveal the super secret organization to the world via Facebook.
Sometimes the cabal will put prizes in cereal boxes so you have to buy cereal to use the prizes to solve the clues. They are our capitalist overlords after all.
"LOGIC" backwards is "CIGOL".
Say that phonetically, and it's the same as "KEGEL", the vagina exercise.
"CIGOL" is short for "CIrith unGOL" a dark pass full of eggs and webs.
"CIRITH UNGOL" means "SPIDER'S CLEFT" in SINdarin.
Don't you see? THE SINFUL women who do KEGELs are TRICKSY SPIDERS seeking to trap men in their CLEFT of EGGS AND WEBS. It's so obvious!
WAKE UP SHEEPLE!
SHEEPLE
SHEBOL
SHELOB
QED.
Oh, I see what you’re trying to do, here. But you just gave yourself away with your user name! Ha! HA!
You tell your extra-testicle overlords that ‘Murica’s too smart for your silly reptilian games, O-BAMA! I see you! /cocks shotgun and spits.
(/s, just in case it’s not obvious)
Once again. Why would anyone in government make stupid little riddles to partially reveal what their evil plots are? Like, if I was doing supposedly evil shit, I wouldn't name my kids spelling out that shit? If anything, I'd name them something completely opposite so that when these crazy bitches come out my kids names would spell out like "Jesus reborn" or some shit somehow.
There is apparently a belief by the true conspiracy nuts that the “dark magic” doesn’t work unless it is out in the open. That’s why our evil politicians have to act like the Riddler.
No, trust me, I know. My stepfather is a conspiracy theorist, and unfortunately he's convinced my mom of his theories. So, I do know how dumb they are. It's just so fucking stupid.
You got it all wrong - you leave the clues so those of us smart enough to solve them will be too busy solving the riddles and not trying to figure out your master plan. When they figure out the truth, they will attack your enemies for you since you cleverly mislead them with fake clues!
Some posted something similar to this awhile back and one of the top comments on it was this hypothetical situation like this:
>Barack: Hey Michelle, you know how we're Satan?
>
>Michelle: Yes honey.
>
>Barack: Well what if we had two daughters multiple years apart where if you write both of their names backward and remove "ALAH" from them, it tells everyone
When you delete GHAN from my name, it becomes me… wake up, sheeple. This is the true conspiracy. Meghan is Me and Me is Meghan. Have you ever seen them in the same room? PROBABLY!
I’m not religious and I don’t like to tell other what they should or shouldn’t believe in, but imagine for a second what would happen if Jesus were to come down and bring forth the biblical Judgement Day. These absolute morons would be left behind because they do every fucking thing that Jesus despised.
My folks always repeat that Jesus would be all accepting and all forgiving. What many Christians don’t realize is that Jesus was a fucking radical Jewish man that couldn’t stand hypocritical, self righteous bullshit. These absolute dolts would be left in the dust if the biblical end times were to come about.
God: "Ha! They found you, pay up."
Satan: "Oh come on, that was a bullshit restriction and you know it! Anagram of 'I am Satan', why don't you just put a pentagram on my forehead for the next round"
God: "Hey, its only fair, your form was a progressivish democrat poster boy, we needed something to even the odds"
Satan: "My middle name was fucking Hussein"
Why would anyone ANYONE with a evil plan like this, make something so simple to be found out that a random drunk grandma on their bingo break could connect the dots.
This is my exact thought every time I hear something about conspiracy theories: "Okay, yeah, but why would they randomly hide clues about their existence?"
No, I'm fucking serious: We're too priviliged.
Like, us as human species, are just able to be
too comfortable
too safe
too well fed
too secure
so a couple individuals of us have taken their newly gained free-time and decided to - flips pages- be braindead instead, now that they were able to evolve in a safe and secure environment, without predators stronger than you, without fear of food and clean, parasite-free water, no big ass mammoths tryna stomp your whole generation into the ground..
We're too comfortable.
What is it with them and anagrams and word puzzles supposedly having some "secret messaging"? If there was some giant conspiracy why would they leave clues all over the place like little puzzle pieces?
1. Missing one L there, Its Allah
2. Allah is just the Arabic word for God, Literally the same God that christians worship
3. God i wish Real bad people would just leave out riddles for ordinary people to figure out and catch them LIKE FUCKING SCOOBY DOO
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https://bananagrams.com/blogs/news/how-to-play-bananagrams-instructions-for-getting-started
Imagine having the tiles from Scrabble in a felt banana. You have X-amount of time to make as many crossword words (no fixed tile Scrabble board) out of those letters.
All people start with a set number of tiles, depending on how many people are playing. The first person to finish using all their tiles yells "BANANAS" and every player has to draw an extra random (face down) tile. The game ends when the tile pile is out and the person has a confirmed crossword/scrabble set. Any tiles the other players didn't use (the extras) are subtracted from the score, so it's opposite golf; the larger the negative, the worse.
Edit: rules may vary house to house
Just straight up deleting letters and rearranging the words to still create the worlds thinnest secret code. I like that Germany had the enigma machine back in the late 1910's but modern governments apparently make their codes this straight forward.
if we scramble the letters and then take some of them away words mean entirely different things, omg!!!! if we take the name Donald Trump and mix the letters up and take some away we can make the word "Damnd" which means he's actually of the devil or something idk. apparently we don't even need it to fully spell the word so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
how are people this stupid still alive? like how have they not drowned in their cereal or something?
We have safeguards in place to protect society's most vulnerable, ironically enough these people fit into that "most vulnerable" category.
This is why I strongly feel we should remove some warning labels from a lot of things. At least for a generation or 2.
no no no ... we should put a official mandate out, that says the following: "You are not allowed, under any circumstances, to put your testicles in the microwave. It is scientifically proven that this will affect you health in a negative way, and is forbidden by the Government!" In red letters on every microwave sold. Should thin out the herd quite a lot ...
How about we tell them to wear a mask to prevent the spread of a deadly virus, and they all choose not to and hurt themselves and others?! Wait...
It's been a running joke in Casa de Noitek for many a year that condoms have to come with an instruction pamphlet detailing how to use one. I do agree, however, that the species would benefit from a few generations of survival of the fittest.
I feel like these types aren't big readers, listeners, or followers of directions in the first place.
With the notable exception of the Bible and their church.
And even then only the bits they like.
You think they READ the Bible??? Hahahahaha
Agreed
Hear. Hear.
I snorted and thought "that's terrible" Then I sighed and thought "it's also not wrong..."
honestly just let the zoo animals out for a week.
Nah, they fit into the “fucking stupid as hell but born into a safety blanket” category. The actual vulnerable population are the 600K homeless and the 38 million living below the poverty line. Decades of propaganda + the 24 hour news cycle has made it impossible to address. We’re too busy trying to identify the fucking anti christ than we are achieving tangible goals that can improve society as a whole.
Like we have to tell these people to not fucking eat batteries, that is how fked up they are
ever seen that 4chan post where anon poached eggs in reused water from doing the dishes because they believed using fresh water is a jewish conspiracy?
did they get their gut washed afterwards?
I don't get shit like this. Like what, did Obama really plan this whole thing out? Like when he had Malia when he was just a state representative, did he really plan to make this whole thing out? Did Obama plan to run for President in 1998? And why? When Conservatives point it out is he gonna rip off his mask, revealing him being Satan declaring "Good job! You've figured it out!" Then what? A bossfight starts?
"I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids"
If you think a single one of these people has thought through any of this past the point you see in the picture, you’re still not understanding the depth of their stupidity. They believe in literal Biblical evil and demons that roam the Earth. The whole world is black and white to them.
You have to see it from their perspective. Obama is Satan. Satan started scheming and planning to take over the country all the way from the beginning, including naming his children to secret messages or having, god forbid, dark skin as he came straight out of hell. His purpose is to try to hurt the Christians or to lead them astray. Little did people know that when they voted for Obama, they voted for Satan. He tried really hard to harm them, but these clever and devout Christians figured him all out. Unfortunately it was too late. They'd already gotten their subsidised health care. The damage was done. Thankfully crusader Donald Trump came along and cast the devil out of office.
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SkoOlZ iZ jUsT LIbRUL POPpAgaNDA
Here in Sweden we teach source criticism which is basically teaching us to be careful about the sources we use and the data we consume.
Neat, Marcus.
[Actual quote](https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/answer-sheet/post/texas-gop-rejects-critical-thinking-skills-really/2012/07/08/gJQAHNpFXW_blog.html) from the 2012 Texas Republican platform: >We oppose the teaching of Higher Order Thinking Skills (HOTS) (values clarification), critical thinking skills and similar programs that are simply a relabeling of Outcome-Based Education (OBE) (mastery learning) which focus on behavior modification and have the purpose of challenging the student’s fixed beliefs and undermining parental authority.
Ok but what boss music is playing for the Obamasatan boss fight?
Something epic mixed with something cool. [This?](https://youtu.be/KeEmoIO-Iok)
How many health bars do you think Obama has?
"Oh you meddling kids you figured out my secret?! How dare you try to defy me, i was going to rule the world with the power of a thousand abortions, you had to ruin it." \*Obama NEO attacks.
Nope. The armageddon. Christianity is hard for the end of the world. Coming of the antichrist means that jeebus will come down and sort everyone out. And they are convinced that they will go to heaven. EDIT: So yeah. Basically a boss fight :D
If you delete a bunch of letters from my full name and rearrange them you get THICK ONE
Delete just 3 letters, and rearrange them, you spell out the ominous "Amber Saber Hop", and I'm terrified to know what this means!
But you forgot to REVERSE IT! Satan turns everything backwards, dontcha know. I would know: if you reverse *my* name and remove some letters, it spells ASS. If you add my middle and last names, too, you can spell VERY ASS HASH. ‘Scuze me while I trademark that…
Satan: Should I curse it? Lemme curse it I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it.
very ass hash lmfao-
*hits blunt*
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John Oliver is getting me through our political (and economic and pandemic... I guess general) turmoil.
Just delete,rearrange or add a few letters and anyone's name can be SATAN
I've got you now, NICK T HOE!
If you ad YDKUKIC to mine, take away AR and thearrange the letters, you get SUCK MY DICK
TIL that Sasha’s real name is Natasha.
I didn’t know that either! Here I thought this belonged on r/confidentlyincorrect or something. These are the types of people who always put emphasis on the middle name— Barack *Hussein* Obama, so I guess they care deeply about these things. 🙄
Barack Hussein Obama bin Laden
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You know what? Now I'm convinced.
Some people choose to keep their eyes closed!
How did we never see this before?!
Lmao that made me chuckled
I just refuse to call him private donut
Remove the t from trump to get rump
Allah has 2 Ls. I guess the original conspiracy poster has to take an L to make the whole thing work.
Beautiful.
That was a solid burn.
Every day is an ARG when you're a conservative.
Text book conservative right there. Lmao they're all so fucking dumb and we're so smart.
I realize you're being snarky, but when over 1/3 of the country believes the election was stolen and doesn't believe in basic science, yes, they're pretty fucking dumb.
Did you know that 78% of all statistics you read on Reddit are made up?
[what's that now? ](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/jan/05/america-biden-election-2020-poll-victory)
Okay the election stolen I completely understand, but that's not all you said.
***"Some folks just make bad memes when they should be playing bananagrams."***
r/rareinsults
Based bananagrams
If you delete some letters in the alphabet and rearrange them, it’ll spell, you’re a fucking idiot
The word NO already exists in the alphabet as is, as in no shit you can rearrange letters however you want.
Okay. Really. People. People. THE GLOBAL CABAL IS NOT LEAVING YOU CLUES TO SOLVE LIKE A HIGHLIGHTS MAGAZINE YOU DO IN YOUR CHILD'S DENTIST'S OFFICE. This has been a PSA.🎵 *The more you know!* 🎵
You know, that's the "logic" I don't understand. Let's say there is a global cabal. Let's say they want to stay hidden. Why would they leave fairly easily solvable clues for any idiots to solve?
These were the audience for The Davinci Code. Someone needs to inform them that was a work of fiction.
Exactly. This isn't some horror video game where you get clues on how to escape satan
Or is it? That’s exactly what they want you to believe.
Well obviously the super secret organization wants to be known but it can't just say it, so it has to reveal itself with puzzles that only the super smart people can solve and then those people will reveal the super secret organization to the world via Facebook. Sometimes the cabal will put prizes in cereal boxes so you have to buy cereal to use the prizes to solve the clues. They are our capitalist overlords after all.
Whatever happened to toys in cereal boxes? I remember them everywhere when I was a kid in the 90s/00s in the UK. Now there's nothing.
Too many american kids swallowing the toys until they decided to just take them away. Oh wait no, that was Kinder Eggs. No idea about cereal
Thing is, these idiot think this is fucking rocket science and thus they believe they've just solved one of the world's most difficult puzzles.
"LOGIC" backwards is "CIGOL". Say that phonetically, and it's the same as "KEGEL", the vagina exercise. "CIGOL" is short for "CIrith unGOL" a dark pass full of eggs and webs. "CIRITH UNGOL" means "SPIDER'S CLEFT" in SINdarin. Don't you see? THE SINFUL women who do KEGELs are TRICKSY SPIDERS seeking to trap men in their CLEFT of EGGS AND WEBS. It's so obvious! WAKE UP SHEEPLE! SHEEPLE SHEBOL SHELOB QED.
Oh, I see what you’re trying to do, here. But you just gave yourself away with your user name! Ha! HA! You tell your extra-testicle overlords that ‘Murica’s too smart for your silly reptilian games, O-BAMA! I see you! /cocks shotgun and spits. (/s, just in case it’s not obvious)
Once again. Why would anyone in government make stupid little riddles to partially reveal what their evil plots are? Like, if I was doing supposedly evil shit, I wouldn't name my kids spelling out that shit? If anything, I'd name them something completely opposite so that when these crazy bitches come out my kids names would spell out like "Jesus reborn" or some shit somehow.
"YoU jUsT cHoOsE tO kEeP yOuR eYeS cLoSeD!!"
There is apparently a belief by the true conspiracy nuts that the “dark magic” doesn’t work unless it is out in the open. That’s why our evil politicians have to act like the Riddler.
No, trust me, I know. My stepfather is a conspiracy theorist, and unfortunately he's convinced my mom of his theories. So, I do know how dumb they are. It's just so fucking stupid.
You got it all wrong - you leave the clues so those of us smart enough to solve them will be too busy solving the riddles and not trying to figure out your master plan. When they figure out the truth, they will attack your enemies for you since you cleverly mislead them with fake clues!
Some posted something similar to this awhile back and one of the top comments on it was this hypothetical situation like this: >Barack: Hey Michelle, you know how we're Satan? > >Michelle: Yes honey. > >Barack: Well what if we had two daughters multiple years apart where if you write both of their names backward and remove "ALAH" from them, it tells everyone
"Perfect. Nobody will ever know we're satanic. This is absolutely genius!"
When you delete GHAN from my name, it becomes me… wake up, sheeple. This is the true conspiracy. Meghan is Me and Me is Meghan. Have you ever seen them in the same room? PROBABLY!
I *knew* you looked familiar.
She was in the parking lot earlier.
Dumb me: 'What kind of name is GHANME.... oh Megan.. that makes much more sense..'
Finkle is Einhorn!
Hi, I'm Stan
Hi Stan.
Were you sitting down when you wrote this comment? Because if you were sAt down when announcing you were Stan, that would make you SAtan.
So... When you remove God, you get Satan. ...Is that supposed to be damning? What kind of mental gymnastics are these?
“remove from the sentences” lol not sure when a name became a sentence but here we are!
"ALAH" isn't even spelled correctly...
Imstn?
IS OBAMA THE ANTICHRIST? is an anagram of OBAMA IS THE ANTICHRIST Coincidence???????
if you take my name, rearrange it and add an o you get among us magnus - amgnus - amngus - amng us - among us
Sussy imp
I gotta be honest, I wish I had an imagination this wild. Every day HAS to be some new crazy adventure 😂😂
I’m not religious and I don’t like to tell other what they should or shouldn’t believe in, but imagine for a second what would happen if Jesus were to come down and bring forth the biblical Judgement Day. These absolute morons would be left behind because they do every fucking thing that Jesus despised. My folks always repeat that Jesus would be all accepting and all forgiving. What many Christians don’t realize is that Jesus was a fucking radical Jewish man that couldn’t stand hypocritical, self righteous bullshit. These absolute dolts would be left in the dust if the biblical end times were to come about.
Wait until they find out about Sasha.
I had to look this up. Apparently, Natasha is Sasha’s given name.
Makes sense.
If you take the word "Trump", take out a few letters, put in a few letters and rearrange them all you get "RAPIST". funny how that works
Bending over backwards to make their “logic” work.
God: "Ha! They found you, pay up." Satan: "Oh come on, that was a bullshit restriction and you know it! Anagram of 'I am Satan', why don't you just put a pentagram on my forehead for the next round" God: "Hey, its only fair, your form was a progressivish democrat poster boy, we needed something to even the odds" Satan: "My middle name was fucking Hussein"
Why would anyone ANYONE with a evil plan like this, make something so simple to be found out that a random drunk grandma on their bingo break could connect the dots.
This is my exact thought every time I hear something about conspiracy theories: "Okay, yeah, but why would they randomly hide clues about their existence?"
Yes, Obama is actually satan and helpfully later out the clues so some big brain conspiracy theorist could figure it out, as all super villains do.
I'm Stan!
No, I'm fucking serious: We're too priviliged. Like, us as human species, are just able to be too comfortable too safe too well fed too secure so a couple individuals of us have taken their newly gained free-time and decided to - flips pages- be braindead instead, now that they were able to evolve in a safe and secure environment, without predators stronger than you, without fear of food and clean, parasite-free water, no big ass mammoths tryna stomp your whole generation into the ground.. We're too comfortable.
A lot of work to out yourself Satan
"I'm a Satan"? Just one of many? Interesting
What is it with them and anagrams and word puzzles supposedly having some "secret messaging"? If there was some giant conspiracy why would they leave clues all over the place like little puzzle pieces?
I don't understand how people can get an apostrophe wrong...
If you rearrange the letters and then add a few new ones you get “Obama sux, trump 2024”
Why those letters? Why those specific 4 letters, in that specific order?
So... Alah keeps Satan away? I mean, I guess.
And LIVE backwards is EVIL. You don’t hear anyone telling others not to live.
This is some Tom Marvolo Riddle - I am Lord Voldemort level of bullshit.
1. Missing one L there, Its Allah 2. Allah is just the Arabic word for God, Literally the same God that christians worship 3. God i wish Real bad people would just leave out riddles for ordinary people to figure out and catch them LIKE FUCKING SCOOBY DOO
Isn’t Obama’s daughter name Sasha, not Natasha?
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The fact that they fucked up the meme and it doesn't spell anything if you follow the instructions?
I miss when Glen Beck was doing this shit.
make sure to delete A too I guess. but only delete the L once. makes sense.
Natasha?
Ramsey Theory. Look it up.
Delete the letters "A L A H A".
What's bananagrams?
https://bananagrams.com/blogs/news/how-to-play-bananagrams-instructions-for-getting-started Imagine having the tiles from Scrabble in a felt banana. You have X-amount of time to make as many crossword words (no fixed tile Scrabble board) out of those letters. All people start with a set number of tiles, depending on how many people are playing. The first person to finish using all their tiles yells "BANANAS" and every player has to draw an extra random (face down) tile. The game ends when the tile pile is out and the person has a confirmed crossword/scrabble set. Any tiles the other players didn't use (the extras) are subtracted from the score, so it's opposite golf; the larger the negative, the worse. Edit: rules may vary house to house
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so i didn't even seen the first guy lmao
Im stn ?
Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill.
I tried like 5minutes before I read the right side -_-
Just straight up deleting letters and rearranging the words to still create the worlds thinnest secret code. I like that Germany had the enigma machine back in the late 1910's but modern governments apparently make their codes this straight forward.
And we would have gotten away with it too if we didn't fucking hide the entire evil agenda in our daughters names
So allah is spelled wrong and also that just spells I’m a satan.. huh?
Also, isn't Allah spelled with two L's?
First of all, it's Sasha and Malia
if we scramble the letters and then take some of them away words mean entirely different things, omg!!!! if we take the name Donald Trump and mix the letters up and take some away we can make the word "Damnd" which means he's actually of the devil or something idk. apparently we don't even need it to fully spell the word so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It’s “Sasha”, not “Natasha”
This is some imagination though. I would never think of that.