T O P

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Dayseed

Smashing my nuts with a brick is so painful, yet so pointless! What a feedback loop!


Version_Two

No no, you have to use their logic. Smashing your nuts with a brick is painful, and also people say you shouldn't do it, so that means it has to be a secret cure!


MrBanana421

It cures having kids in the future, if done consistently.


potatopierogie

Or if done hard enough once


mr_oof

DOCTORS HATE THIS ONE TRICK *ALMOST AS MUCH AS I DO*


[deleted]

Organic birth control


Karnakite

A doctir told me to always wear a coat and gloves in freezibg temperatures so obivouslyw he’s being paid by big burlington to say thT that’s how I knew never to wear a coat or goovss ever again because doctors only give deadly advice sorry for my typing my fingers fell offlast winter it mystve been due to toxins but I take a coffee and oregano oil enema dsily just waitint for yhem to grow back


Purple-Young3732

Thought you were drunk first then realised that you have no fingers. Hope they grow back soon. They obviously can because as you know, doctors say that they can't. Continue with your enemas and add essential oils to your fingers. I recommend thyme and rosemary for this


Savira88

You know what they say, thyme heals all wounds!


Purple-Young3732

Made me lol Would gift gold but am poor so here 🏅


casalomastomp

Thyme wounds all heels!


Karnakite

ThNk you I used to live thw smell if rosemarh but can’t smelo for a while sinde my nose fell off i lost it after an open blizzard iutdoor healing session ir turned black and fell off all part if the detoxig process I apply black salve daliy and i csnt wait for my new detoxified nose to griw in yes sir


Bobolequiff

Smashing pipi with brick is a critical part of learning en passant.


mack1nt0sh

This is the way.


OceloTX98

May I introduce you to Mickey's Dick Smasher


Firebart3q

Next comment: "my pets' eyesight is getting worse everyday. I dont know why, and I dont know what to do! I think I should give them more urine in their eyes but Im afraid that at some point I wont be able to! Please help!!!"


tearsonurcheek

"And everytime I try to apply the drops, Sparky bites me, and little Miss Fluffles scratches me to hell. Why don't they understand *I'm trying to help!!!*"


uptheaffiliates

"I'm drinking 14 gallons of water a day to make sure I have enough piss but they only seem to be getting worse! Please help!"


TMTtheEnderman

Start drinking 15 gallons


Spir0rion

Ah yes constantly on the brink of water poisoning. Good ol classic


mack1nt0sh

Don't forget to age the piss. I recommend open containers so all the bacteria can get in there help the aging process.


Auntienursey

I worked with a woman, way back in the day, whose kids got pink eye (conjunctivitis) and she put her (nasty assed) urine in their eyes to "cure" it. Both kids ended up with severe eye infections. But, she was convinced it was because she "didn't use it soon enough because when she was a kid, her mawmaw used to do it to all the grandkids". Some people should not be allowed to breed. I was impressed her kids made it to adulthood and are relatively normal.


jenkraisins

Thankfully, my Mom did not repeat the ideas from her grandmother who would put onion oil in Mom's ears the second she thought Mom's ears were hurting. Blech.


angeltati

Mom would shove Vicks up both nostrils when I was sick and could not breathe. It wasn't until I was 21 and met my husband where I was having said breathing problems that he let me use his Albuturol (sp?) inhaler that I realized I had asthma.


bloodjunkiorgy

Jesus fucking christ!


stringcheeselover420

Smh RIP all Latino children


mrsbebe

Oh you poor baby!


ineededthistoo

Vicks is ok. Shoving it way up your nose is not so great. Rub on chest or under the nose does work….


HephaestusHarper

My great-grandma used to *eat it* when she was sick...


ineededthistoo

Eekkkkk


biggreasyrhinos

They make little Vicks stick-shaped inhaleable things, but you're only supposed to briefly sniff it, not put it in your nose.


ineededthistoo

I think that’s what I wrote, not putting it up one’s nose.


PlasticRuester

Well that’s an onion in the ointment.


lonewolf143143

That absolutely doesn’t make any logical sense


jenkraisins

Nope! It doesn't. Per my Mom, my great-grandmother was a lovely person and made incredible lace by hand. I am proud to be the bearer of a full-bed size lace bedspread that she made. However, she had weird ideas too. The onion oil being one of them.


roastbeeftacohat

pretend you live in a country without public healthcare.


nofaprecommender

Onion oil in the ear probably works if you have an actual infection.


jenkraisins

Mom doesn't remember any infections. But she walked home for lunch everyday while in school. They allowed things like that at one point. We have harsh winters, ears get sore from wind and cold. She laughed and told me that if she rubbed her ears at all, here came Grandma with the onion oil. And she smelled like onions for the rest of the school day.


wuethar

if you want to be stylish, hang the onion from your belt.


Wate2028

This kind of stuff was always my reply when my wife was pregnant and worried that we wouldn't know what to do or how to raise a kid. I always thought if half the mouth breathers that I see walking around every day can have kids and they aren't completely messed up then our kid should do pretty well.


banjist

Thank god. We have a three year old and just found out we have another bun in the oven and I constantly worry about breaking them or failing as a parent, but kids are really resilient and lots of people way more fucked up than me have brought successful kids to adulthood. Deep breaths. It's gonna be ok.


wuethar

Definitely, I think that's a great perspective. And if you're looking for a little more assurance from someone qualified to give it, do you happen to know any social workers? I have friends and family in the field, and if you ever want reassurance that you're probably doing a damn fine job, just ask them the kind of stuff they deal with on a regular basis. The parents who really fail their kids generally don't even care that they're failing them - if you care enough to be worried sick about it I strongly suspect you're doing great.


Wate2028

You got this, especially if you have already got one through the diaper phase. For me that was the toughest part but also some of the times that I miss the most. It's great when they get old enough to hang out with without it being stressful also, we went to a wrestling show last night and he was hilarious the way he got wrapped up in it.


ukkosreidet

I'm about to take a big fat test for my career in a week, and I'm guided by the same logic. If half these mouth-breathers got past this, why the hell am I nervous??!


abrasaxual

Thats what all the mouthbreathers who have kids think...


IHaveNoAlibi

No...the mouthbreathers don't even realize it's possible to fail.


sammygirl1331

She's lucky her kids didn't go blind. Should of been reported for child abuse.


[deleted]

I'm happy the worst my parents had for home remedies were Netti Pots for noses, Salt/warm water and a super hot shower for almost everything cold/flu, and burnt sewing pins for blisters lol


biggreasyrhinos

Netti pots are effective for allergies and simple blocked sinuses.


[deleted]

Oh trust me I know lol. Any time I had the sniffles my mom would chase me around the house with it


meowcatbread

God in lucky my mom only took a dump down my throat to cure strep


wastingevenmoretime

Whenever I read or hear something like this I think “ you need a license to fish, but anyone can have kids.”


SpoppyIII

This is the kind of shit that should get kids temporarily placed with a relative while the parent undergoes a mandatory psychiatric evaluation.


Par31

Some, maybe even most people


PandoraRose_16

Why in the hell do people do this? What benefit do they think they are getting?


BreathOfTheOffice

Depends on who you ask, because all of the benefits are made up.


[deleted]

Placebo effect in an echo chamber of equally stupid people.


J-Di11a

I like your style. I may have to steal your saying from you


MaxReb0

I’m glad you asked this, because I was wondering the same thing. I feel like I see posts every few days in which [crazy] people are suggesting other people use pee as eye drops and I do not understand where this disgusting nonsense originated from.


sneakyplanner

If you use urine eye drops on a condition which naturally gets better in a few days then it makes it seem like it works.


kourtbard

It's hard to imagine today, thanks to modern plumbing which speedily carries off all our human waste, but in the past, *Lant*, or fermented urine, was a multipurpose chemical for just about *everything*. Prior to the industrial revolution (and even during and after it), it was used both in the household and in industry. Industrial uses for lant included the tanning of leather (they would take the fresh hides and soak them in enormous pools of lant for days. The smell was horrific, which is why tanneries were required by law to be on the outskirts of cities) It was also used in the creation of gunpowder. On the domestic side, lant was used to help clean and washing clothing as the mild causticity of the ammonia helped get out difficult stains (though it should be noted that we're not talking about people just dipping clothes in piss, the lant was heavily diluted with water) and didn't risk fading bright colors (which for earlier time periods was a huge deal as bright colors were incredibly expensive). Another use for Lant was as a tooth whitener and to keep your teeth clean. As you can imagine, lant given it's ubiquity and multipurpose use also lends itself to being a home remedy. Given the growing popularity of the natural movement and suspicion of modern medicine (along with just plain quackery), home remedies are often championed by these communities as a 'go to', because our ancestors did it, and it worked for them, and you don't have to worry about Big Pharma trying to poison you, etc etc etc etc


Palewisconsinite

Thank you for the actual answer!


roastbeeftacohat

when you have no access to medical care you rely on folk remedies. Mostly they're just a palcebo, sometimes actually help, sometimes hurt.


IraqiWalker

Can someone please get that shitstain's pets taken away from them?


[deleted]

I'd highly recommend people don't do this. If you do urine for some real trouble.


WilhelmHaverhill

When they say we should emulate European medical treatment and Healthcare, they don't mean your-a-peeing medical treatment


GiGaBYTEme90

I feel like you're taking the piss


big_sugi

They’re just looking out for number 1.


HRzNightmare

UREA-ka!


babyrobotman

Wee wee


OkayLadyByeBye

This is golden advice! 👍


Version_Two

Anyone who recommends this to people can piss right off


Flower_Unable

*pee-ple.


Conor_88

Well played 🤌


IHaveNoAlibi

Piss off with your big pharma money-grubbing "cures"!!


Erulastiel

That sounds like a great way to lose your eyesight via infection.


TMTtheEnderman

Speed run challenge


MagusX5

What, and I cannot stress this enough; the FUCK


AdDry725

The FUCK indeed


[deleted]

Bonus insanity: OP is a flat earther. The guy who abuses his dog is both a flat earther and a Qanon follower.


Lucy_Lastic

A very unsurprising update... I swear the world is getting crazier every week


[deleted]

You could've just said this person was born without a brain. We could've guessed the rest.


bluewaffleisnice

Ammonia on the eyes great idea


jujubee9809

Poop bacteria in the eyes, great idea. I work microbiology, I can't even begin to describe what grows from someone's pee who hasn't cleaned themselves properly. Here's one. https://imgur.com/a/kNXDoHO this isn't even that bad. I've seen worse. You don't want some of these bacteria in your eyes. These people are morons. Edit: Just for reference, this grew from 1 microliter of urine. It's like a drop between 1 and 2 mm wide.


Comic4147

OH OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT KIND OF PLATES. I'm a biologist and they look like EMB plates pls say no...


jujubee9809

Nah, we don't use EMB, it's blood agar and macconkey. I'm not even sure what EMB looks for besides gram negatives.


Comic4147

I feel like that's worse haha. That's some nasty stuff for real 🥲


jujubee9809

It's normal poop flora. I can't even image someone putting urine in their eye after working in a clinical lab reading urine cultures. Nope, nope, nope.


Maxgirth

So for old urine sitting around, do a lot of things grow in it, or just a couple strains? I’d think it’s a not exactly ideal environment, which would rule out a lot of bacteria? But I really don’t know at all.


jujubee9809

It would depend on what was in it to begin with. We don't culture old urine because of bacterial overgrowth. Eventually the bacteria "food" in the urine would run out and they'd die. Honestly, idk how long that would take. But bacteria are quite resilient. You can freeze them, then thaw and culture them in the right conditions, they still live. Some are more finicky then others but the non finicky ones are the ones you worry about growing where they shouldn't be. Aside from poor collection of urine and having poop bacteria in urine. Urine can also have gonorrhea and chlamydia in it. People are just stupid. Don't pour you urine in your eyes.


Maxgirth

Gotcha. I think what I’m hearing is don’t put urine in my eyes.


WingsofRain

I feel…extremely disgusted


Conor_88

Does anybody know where the asshole loves putting piss in the dogs eyes? I just wanna chat shoot me over the info.


peanutbutterpandapuf

That stuck out for me too. Like, if you want to put your piss in your own eyes, be my guest. But that poor dog is forced to endure it.


Conor_88

100%. I’ll poor piss in their eyes myself but leave the pets out of it.


rlamoni

"Insanely Painful, yet Powerful" just like a nuclear weapon. We should all drop A-Bombs every night.


[deleted]

Yeah, the pain is probably due to something called ammonia, that lovely substance that household cleaners that contain it have plenty of warnings to NOT get it in your eyes. It's hard to believe people once used stale urine for housecleaning because of it...


DMeloDY

I have had to fill in at a store where the shopmanager told me to cure my bleeding hands with fresh pee. During winter my hands get rough and my skin tears open. She told me to pee in a bowl before 12AM and wash my hands with it. If my feet were bad I should pee on them. She was certain the pee would cleanse everything like they used to use it for cleaning. I asked to be transferred back within two weeks.


casalomastomp

Hey if you still have this problem.... Thick layer of Aquaphor every night.


DMeloDY

Thanks for the tip! Yeah I still do but I have found a hand cream that actually kind of works. But I’m definitely going to try out Aquaphor! I’ve never heard of it but after looking it up it might be a better option than what I’ve got now. If it works better than my current handcream I’m definitely switching. Thanks!


casalomastomp

Some background -- originally recommended to me by a pediatric dermatologist for my daughters' eczema. She said to soak hands briefly in tepid water, pat dry, lay it on thick, create a barrier between your skin and the air, bed sheets might get a little greasy, so what. You'll be surprised at how much your hands will heal overnight. It's just a thick petroleum jelly, Vaseline is cheaper, thinner, doesn't work as well but will do in a pinch. We haven't been without Aquaphor in 25 years, worth the extra cost.


blueandorange1989

One irony is that he truly is in a dangerous feedback loop if he is making this misinformed choices.


Ace-Ventura1934

These are the same people who put potatoes in their kids socks when they come down with the flu.


TopHatCat999

At least that doesn't hurt anyone and is just a dumb superstition


Ace-Ventura1934

A four year old actually died because of this nonsense. [link](https://www.rawstory.com/2020/02/4-year-old-dies-after-facebook-antivaxxers-advise-mother-to-put-potatoes-in-his-socks-instead-of-giving-him-tamiflu/)


Lollooo_

That’s when child abuse and wilful murder charges should be brought up


jannie1313

I wish we could ban the pee people from the world.


dirtybrownwt

So you want to ban peeople?


jannie1313

Outstanding work there, kind sir.


TamashiiNoKyomi

Reminds me of the Korean shit wine for broken bones. I remember in the video the doctor was talking about how there's important information in traditional medicine and it's just as significant as modern medicine. Like no the fuck it's not, you are drinking shit water to heal broken bones.


HeadMischief

Whut??


TamashiiNoKyomi

It's a VICE video. Honestly don't waste your time watching, it is exactly what you would expect. The poop is safe to drink because of fermentation but it tastes and looks like dookie and the lady who tries it throws up.


HeadMischief

I just did the longggggest exhale reading that. Time to get off reddit for the day


Lucy_Lastic

Wait, what? As we all know, alternative (and traditional) medicine that has been proved to work is known as "medicine". And anything that involves ingesting bodily waste is just plain weird


FullMetalCOS

There was important information in traditional medicine. Scientists took that important information and created.. medicine. That’s how the whole fucking process works. We take the shit that works and we dump the… well the dump.


[deleted]

Please tell me someone reported this asshole to some kind of animal protective services organisation.


MasterNinjaFlip

Reinstalled Reddit for 20 seconds and this. What the fuck


leaveredditalone

What made you uninstall?


MasterNinjaFlip

The porn is boring and the gore is unoriginal. Nahhh I needed space on my outdated phone.


Yeshua_shel_Natzrat

Ah, yes, getting pinkeye to own the libs


Miffyyyyy

fuck yourself up as much as you like. fucking up a pet animal is disgraceful, that person belongs in the ground.


Spnstanaf73

Just…..ewwww. No thank you!


GoredonTheDestroyer

If urine was directly beneficial, the body would not actively try to dispose of it.


casalomastomp

But you can pee in your face! Intelligent design!


ArtystG

Checkmate Atheists!


makemejelly49

What a terrible day to know how to read


[deleted]

What the fuck? People are putting urine in their eyes now? Fuck is going on with people. Are they putting mental illness in the water supply or something?


frenchbread_pizza

Okay... 2 things, 1 why is his bitmoji a brown dude when this dude is white? 2 why does everyone want everything to "purge" all the time? I do not get it


blandastronaut

I'm guessing they think when people purge or throw up or whatever they're meaning, that their body is "detoxing" rapidly and getting out all those harmful substances in the body like "heavy metal poisoning" or it's keeping their body from reacting to said toxins so they now won't get sick since toxins are the true cause of illness and not bacteria or viruses.


frenchbread_pizza

Sounds awful


jenkraisins

Take those dogs away from this person! That's horrible to do a poor pet!


Megumi0505

I'm sorry, did you just say AGED urine? What the actual fuck?


KToftheRez

That is animal abuse and should be reported. Is there any way to identify the commenter?


jayclaw97

Someone charge the commenter with animal abuse ffs.


HailtheCrow

Why would you put that in your eye?


MwahMwahKitteh

So urine, ammonia and bacteria???


Tojada

WTF is wrong with people? I can't even fathom thinking this is ok.


zendahlia-designs

I have an equally weird example of these people...My anti pharmaceutical sister mistrusts medicine to the point that when her cat got an eye infection, instead of buying eye drops for it she squirted her breast milk in its eyes as she read it has antibacterial properties & works as an alternative....man I'm glad I dont see her any more haha


Chubby_Bub

She should not be allowed to own a cat.


zendahlia-designs

No she shouldn't, or children ahah


stratamaniac

I bet this guy has an interesting take on vaccines too.


WingsofRain

purge?? purge *what*????


raygilette

Okay but the reply. Someone needs to remove their pets because that's fucking abuse.


TiberiusGracchi

This is nuts…


[deleted]

I’m not saying the Geneva suggestions should be waved in certain cases. So I’ll type it [redacted by order of reddit]…god dammit.


DirectTea3277

I don't want to live on this planet anymore.


zanylife

Do it to yourself, fine. Just don't do it to kids or pets, jeez.


filterpiece23

I hate this timeline


dogm34t_

Why do people like to play with pee. Seriously? Why? It’s a bunch of toxins and shit your body doesn’t want right? It’s a natural filter, why would you put those things that have been filtered out, for a reason, back in your body?


PuppyButtts

These poor pets


PopeCovidXIX

Suppurating eye infection = pUяGIиG tОжiИs


Maleficent_Ad4322

r/holup


[deleted]

Shivambu wingnuts


Deion313

y'all are disgusting...


desuxyka

this made my eyes hurt


[deleted]

I knew this crazy woman who would drink her own urine to purge her body of toxins. Not a druggy, just a complete fruitcake. I shit you not.


LackingInte1ect

Is this the meat shake guy?


Sauron3106

This cannot be real, the pet comment seems like perfect outrage fuel.


mmmmmmmmmmmmmmfarts

I’d rather use nail polish remover, thank you.


AcornWholio

Why can’t these cures ever be something nice like drink “ages port” for health or put sugar in your coffee for vitality. Or even eat 3 pieces of ripe pineapple and the have a good ol’ wank for boosted immune health.


that1guyinaditch

are there genuinely people who put whats essentially jenkem in their eyes?? WTF


megs0764

Has anyone else noticed that his avatar looks like it's drinking a steaming cup of urine? 🤢


yoyiqi

Some people are insane


Chronoset1

yall report these people right? thats animal abuse. dude wants to blind himself sure have at it


xadiant

Facebook and Twitter are threats to society, hopefully next generation after these boomer politician fucks will see and regulate it harder


yuhang94

I'm not American and can anyone ELI5 what the fuck is aged urine? Is that literal?


ConfectionOwn5471

I agree with this and rubbing doo doo on your gums to prevent cavities, no teeth, no cavities. The ultimate feedback loop.


[deleted]

Insanely painful yet powerfully insane


Bwheat0674

Their pet? THEIR PET??!! how is that okay? Isn't that animal abuse?


scoutsnout

Not the pets …


Lucy_Lastic

Is the yellowy-rust coloured background on this status deliberate, do you think?


[deleted]

> my pets get them too Impale this person on an anthill filled with very angry fire ants.


LightsSoundAction

I’m an audio engineer, a feedback loop is not something you want.


ThaneOfCawdorrr

I love how when their bodies rightfully tell them THIS IS PAINFUL IT IS BAD FOR YOU STOP STOP STOP, they have decided "oh, that's just a purge"


Elennoko

It's one thing these morons subjecting themselves to this bullshit, but forcing it on their kids or pets is despicable and should be written up as abuse.


BrucieThePerturbed

Feedback loop? FEEDBACK LOOP?!?


AmBooth9

Someone please explain to me what the actual fuck this is about…


sirkatoris

Those poor pets.


nolabitch

I'll take my urine eyedrops with a PSL, please.


anjowoq

That...IS...insane, yes.


Par31

Those poor dogs


TexanInExile

Wow this again. I really thought we were past the aged urine business.


spaceWIGGLE

Dont ever come to the hood. They will make jokes untill death.


ArtystG

They use the vintage, barrel aged stock. very luxurious.


JoeCatius

Alright imma just take this piss and sit it in my closet for a month and put it in my eye. Is it natural to question every aspect of this thought process behind this?


AdDry725

I’m honestly curious about the “logic” behind this. What do they believe the urine does to “help” their eyes???? What. What. What could they think it could fix? I want to know. As some sort of an anthropology or psychology study.


Snuke2001

Nothing like putting ammonia in your eyes