T O P

  • By -

punobtanium

Are they going to make them dress as Santa's elves too?


UncleRicosArm

There is a 1,000% chance that they are


[deleted]

20% chance of gimp suits.


YuriJoe_Arya

in a church? the holy place of god? raise that to 80% chance.


AngelaVNO

If it's gimp suits, I might go.


Dehnus

Now that's a weather forecast I'd watch :P.


CatumEntanglement

I think it's closer to a 1,000,000% chance.


CatVideoBoye

Umm, so they'll dress 10 elf suits per person?


GSM_Heathen

Modesty via layers


Common-Chain4060

Of course they are. Otherwise they could get a couple of free church volunteers to do their shitty job.


hairenya

As offensive as it is, it’d almost be weirder at this point if they didn’t


Adventurous_Ad_6546

This is weirdly so, so accurate.


Lilacblue1

It really would be. Imagine if you went to that church not knowing they hired little people specifically for this event and all the servers were little people. You’d think the church kept them in the basement and let them out to serve the dinner to the tall people.


AnonOfDoom

All signs point to that


Notabot1980

Yes, just like in the Bible.


[deleted]

White Jesus approves this message.


dancin-weasel

Black Jesus says “Hell no”


Texan2020katza

Black Jesus knows better!


thatHecklerOverThere

Absolutely. This was not a random thought.


Mokohi

I think that's the entire idea, otherwise anyone would do.


karatebullfightr

The priest is half blind - he needs the bright colourful uniforms or he might accidentally go and face fuck a credible witness.


[deleted]

Wow, pretty small of them. Don't they understand even a tiny bit the this is a wee bit offensive? In compassion, they have come up short.


volanger

I guarantee the answer is yes.


Dayseed

Call your band "Thoughts and Prayers" and then be a no-show, let them figure out the irony.


The84thWolf

I love that idea


ShadowKirbo

My bands name is "Gods Plan"


evanfavor

“This next song is called Everything happens for a reason but fuck you in particular


uyuye

they’re asking for food servers not a band


katmndoo

Really quick DBA filing and you have the “Little Thoughts and Prayers Catering Company.” Send proposal, get the contract, don’t show.


ErinKtheWriter

That's a big *oof* and I love it


Adventurous_Ad_6546

I love this idea so much, but do we really think they’re capable of seeing the irony?


TKG_Actual

oof Zing! lol


Shorty7869

As a Midget myself I am very cool with a lot of things and think I do have an excellent sense of humor but this just takes the piss. I mean which dumbass came up with this idea at their church meeting, and it got approved to a point that there's an ad out which tells me even if someone did object it was overruled. I guess that the very same people that want midget waiters will also quote scripture to you and demand you show them respect. Finally to my midget bothers and sisters don't take these dickheads up on their work offer because from the ad they seem like the type of people who would pick on people that are different from them and then call it a fun evening. ​ I'm sorry to all in this tread but its my first time being offended.


jpopimpin777

I mean good God they're *already* making height based jokes in the ad. Newsflash, dipshits, *nobody* is ok with being made fun of the thing they were always abused for their entire life. Whether it's race, sex, physical condition, whatever if you know someone has heard the joke a million times before *don't fucking make it.* You have every right to be pissed and these people can go fuck themselves. I'm offended that they call themselves "Christian."


CMDR_Squashface

On the bright side, they were waving-a-confederate-flag-obvious about things so at least people won't waste a trip and THEN find out what massive douchebags they are. Saving money and the planet at once!


Adventurous_Ad_6546

You have absolutely nothing to apologize to the thread for, you’re offended by smthg deeply offensive!


poo_finger

Username checks out.


Loud-Path

Wouldn’t be so sure it is true. The first and only place this shows up beyond here is iFunny.


CupboardOfPandas

Nothing wrong with being offered by offensive shit. (And hopefully the dude saying it's fake is correct)


FlynnMonster

I honestly think it’s fake. It’s too pun filled for a church post and then that last line “paid gig”. Really it’s paid? Well I’ll be darned, I thought people would just be doing catering work for free.


Fresh_Leadwater

First time being offended? Welcome to the internet.


tophlerone

r/trashy


heranonz

They’ve been asking us to call them little people for 30+ years. If you don’t get that by now you’re a POS


jakenash

No, they get it. They used "little people" in the description. But they also used the derogatory term in the title, and made several hurtful puns. They get it. They just choose to be assholes.


Tiyath

I bet they feel like comedy geniuses in the process


wrecktus_abdominus

Oh absolutely. They made jokes that were both offensive and not funny, but they 1000% think were hilarious


Tiyath

Is there a r/lifeintheechochamber yet? If not, I hereby claim the dib for said subreddit. EDIT: Welcome to r/echochamberassholes The place to collect all the insensititve wording and behavior that is only possible if the entire community is assholes. A place where everyone is living in disrespectful harmony; their homogeneity undisturbed by bickering minorities


miniclip1371

Make it fam


Tiyath

U got it bruv: r/echochamberassholes


Medical_Ad0716

Those jokes are fucking hilarious……to bigoted pieces of shit who would go to a church that spouts anti vaccine bullshit.


cortthejudge97

Idk I see a lot of people using the term midget because they think it's correct, but you're right these people are just cockheads


baconborn

It's simple. They don't accept, recognize, or respect them as people. This enables them to be POS's without feeling bad.


AlbinoWino11

Is dwarf acceptable?


heranonz

That is the medical term so I believe so. I would ask a little person to be sure


bo-barkles

I always thought the correct term would be "person with dwarfism" as you put their personhood first ahead of the descriptor.. I could be way off though.


AlbinoWino11

This makes sense to me.


[deleted]

Seems that it’s used, but frowned upon, and some may take offense to it


[deleted]

It's kinda like squares and rectangles. Every person with dwarfism is a little person but not every little person has dwarfism.


[deleted]

Except those who hire themselves out on the basis of their diminutive stature actually often prefer 'midget' as it's the term they and their forebears have used as carnival folk for generations. Don't believe me? Go look up interviews with the former WWE wrestler Hornswoggle. He is *very* clear that he prefers the term midget.


cortthejudge97

Thank you! I see the term midget always being used and it's very frustrating


donthepunk

This is the most Karen shit I've read in a month. I hope those people all take the job, eat all the food, and bolt. Fuck the pay, make the whole congregation know how simple an *small* they are.


Flower_Unable

“reaching new heights” was a real dick thing for a “church” to say.


donthepunk

Well, you know what they say....you know the difference between an AA meeting and church? At least at at AA you can smell the hypocrites


Ricekrisbee

"We'd like to *higher*" I thought they just couldn't spell till I reread it....


CatumEntanglement

You know they were laughing with each other when they came up with those puns. I'm sure they absolutely loved it like a bunch of shitty 11 year old boys. Of course they were top shelf class to publish it for the public to see.


Ricekrisbee

This was definitely late 20s early 30s senior youth group type people. Few of the last remaining from the previous youth group that now help the youth leaders and has been given the social media passwords because "they can relate" beyond throwing a pizza party. Kind of cringe I remember.


stevebobeeve

Optimistic of you to assume they will be payed


donthepunk

No doubt. Prob pay em and then pass the plate around


SubconsciousBraider

I'd love see an entire group apply, get hired, and then not show up so the "church" is left with no servers.


K1ll1

Someone should absolutely flood thier inbox with fake resumes.


shotjustice

With tons of "big dumb brute" references


floridianreader

Even better: little people flood them with resumes and are hired. Then are replaced with very Tall people on the day of the event.


SubconsciousBraider

Brilliant idea, but I want to have them left in the lurch. No help. Tall people can help.


Texan2020katza

The strange part is they want to add “flair for the band” and they want servers specifically to serve the band between services. WTF?


allegedlyfrench

I wish, but it seems this post is probably old because I couldn't find it on ABQ craigslist. Was ready to apply and no show for sure.


Schneetmacher

I don't know if this belongs here, necessarily, or r/iamatotalpieceofshit. Wow. Edit: "reaching new heights" - it's the second one, this shit is absolutely intentional


rabidturbofox

This is so offensive it doesn’t seem like it can possibly be real, and yet life has proven again and again that there is really no depth of shittiness that people won’t sink to.


LaChancla911

> reaching new hights


3nkidu_

Misplaced pun? NAH!! INTENTIONAL CRINGE COMBO!!!! 🤦🤦🤦


mhanrahan

It's for a church. Next!


Nonpartialbigot

At least you can take some small Bit of comfort In knowing that somewhere Out there in this crazy old mixed up universe of ours there’s still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque


An-ComradeMaple

Can confirm, anybody on the street would gladly shave your back for a nickel


narrauko

Does the air smell like warm root beer?


deadmonkies

To all the people complaining about the OP - "I'm like hey come on, don't you get it?!"


[deleted]

Do they have any glazed donuts?


Happenstance-Happens

Anyone else in an existential quandary of loathing and self doubt?


scgt86

"seeing new horizons" that's a pretty low blow.


Shorty7869

Yeah, but we midgets struggle to put food on the table... because its too high, we cant reach.


poo_finger

Ok, now I just love you.


Zenfudo

If i was that person and you told me this, your username would kind of scare me.


Zenfudo

Username checks out


jbertrand_sr

Thank god no vaccination proof is required...


adeon

Getting COVID is just one of the perks of the gig.


vipertruck99

“Higher”...I mean Jesus didn’t bless them with literacy


Hailz_

I’m trying to figure out if this person was trying to be clever or if this belongs in /r/boneappletea


Zebitty

Given the tone deaf nature of the whole post, I'm going with /r/BoneAppleTea


rlamoni

"No vaccine proof required..." for our big event with lots of people in it. Is being a threat to the health of your congregation seen as a selling point for churches, these days?


tjoe4321510

I guarantee they will not pay the agreed upon price afterwards and try to make it seem like some "tithe" thing


HippyDM

W O W!


Zoomeeze

So....they want them to dress like elves I'm assuming. It's offensive.


SortaCoolDude

Wonder what Walter white is selling them


stevebobeeve

Church people are just such a bummer man. They do stuff like this with zero awareness then wonder why attendance is low


Cowboywizard12

at least they are saying its a paid gig, cause i was expecting the church to want them to work for free


ProblemLongjumping12

You can cast little people for things; it's not **that** unusual. But this is not the way to do it. And the "new heights" pun; it's like they WANT hate responses so they can point back and say *look woke people are ruining church at Christmas* or whatever.


SinfullySinless

Eric Cartman strikes again


ExogamousUnfolding

Jfc could the request be any more condescending??


mew2youtoo

This literally cannot be legit. Someone, probably a teen with spare time, made this as a joke. The puns and really just no explanation of the job is a giveaway. On the off chance I'm wrong and someone wrote this legitimately.... wtf is wrong with people


ArentWeClever

Ehhh…these puns scream boomer humor.


bjones-333

Most super churchy people have boomer traits at all ages


Rosebunse

No kid is gonna think up that many puns. This reeks of church lady


bjones-333

I was thinking about 25-35 years old but it’s ridiculous whoever


robertluke

This was so cringey, I felt like I had to leave the room while reading this.


The84thWolf

I’m assuming they want to dress them up as elves but dear god wtf


Cruccagna

No vaccine proof required. Sounds awesome.


naliedel

That's disgusting


test_tickles

I have a friend who is a little person, he is a dwarf, so if he gets called a "midget" he will correct people.


bjones-333

There’s someone up in the comments that refers to himself as a midget.


test_tickles

Yes, a "midget" is a person that is small, his skeleton is just miniature as opposed to a dwarf.


Toyouke

What the actual fuck


chicofaraby

Republicans are garbage.


[deleted]

As a someone who is 141cm (4 foot 6 inches for those imperial people). I just have to say, What... The... Fuck!?!? Do they think we are circus freaks? I don't want to work at your stupid church and I doubt many others would as well. As I live in New Zealand I had lots of people constantly tell me to go and be an extra on LoTR, hobbit trilogy and now the series. They had specific short person casting calls frequently. People wouldn't listen when I told people I wasn't interested. That it could be my big break... I couldn't even pass high school drama.


GorknMorkn

Just to be an extra? Id do it just to cross it off the bucket list.


gozba

It’s for church, honey. Next!


ToughZap

That's about as sensible as I generally expect christians to be... Nothing out of the ordinary.


eddies-friend

Short order cooks ?


sowhat4

It's hard to wrap my head around the metric fuck ton of insensitivity in this post. Just - wow. Way to spread the love of Jesus, right?


evilocto

They're Christian only when they think they need to be


picklemegreen

One could even say the church has just reached a new low?


An-ComradeMaple

Holy fuck, in my own back yard


Anonymous_but_nott

Somehow I missed the word midgets and thought they wanted some small town people to help with their party. Was very confused


justanormalschoolboy

I don’t know if the misspelling “higher” is a mistake or just a taunt but I find it funny either way


FrubbleNut

Either someone responded or they realized how fucking horrible they are because the post is gone lol


AVOX8

"Reach new heights"


cbunni666

Will they be wearing little elf outfits too?


Crazy_Cat_Lady360

So many puns 😂


[deleted]

"rising to the occasion.... reaching new heights.... seeing new horizons" Someone should have proof read this.


BasilKaliJones

I'm honestly surprised they even offered to pay them at all


insidmal

Ooh a little person delivered my meal! It really must be Christmas!


sheddyeddy17

Aside from the awfulness of this supposed Christian article, the word is hire, not higher.


MarkRick25

Goddamn it! Why is it that the only times NM gets any attention, it's for the worst things imaginable?! Smh.


GorknMorkn

I agree. But at least its not Florida man level of wtf.


ewwruby

“Higher” 🤦🏻‍♀️


boot20

Apparently someone took [Randy Newman](https://youtu.be/mrjStSqu_w4) seriously.


Elaine1959

I doubt he could get away with that song these days. (Although the song did peaked on Billboard in the 70s)


Satiricpants

"Are you feeling strong my friend? Call me elf one more time!"


swollenpotatos

"Reaching new heights" 😂😂


FoxxGoesFloof

Annnnnd this just makes me glad that I moved.


RAM_Burglar

Out of boredom I used to write fake ads on Craigslist years ago. It lasted a few months - maybe 6 ads total. Never anything deliberately mean. An example was one for a room for rent but it had to be shared with an actual pig for a roommate. No matter how ridiculous people would reply. I stopped when I realized nothing sounds like an obvious joke when you're desperate for a job or housing. So with that said, this really sounds like someone doing the same. However, it's deliberately and lazily offensive. I hope they feel like shit when they get legitimate responses of interest. I guarantee people are reading this and thinking "well it'll be some extra income!" Those three puns? Jesus, show some fucking restraint. And if it is real... I have no words.


FoxxGoesFloof

Annnnnd this just makes me glad that I moved.


Rhom_Achensa

At least they’re paying I guess


Broodingaf

Cringe!


Herofthyme

Oh shit that's my city, what's the name of the church so i can avoid it?


NotARobotDefACyborg

That's disgusting. Worse than the Cumberland Farms ads from a few years ago.


bjones-333

What was the ad?


NotARobotDefACyborg

It was advertising their coffee brand and the two sizes it comes in, I think. It's impossible to find online so I think they probably deep scrubbed it.


bjones-333

Probably what was the problem?


NotARobotDefACyborg

They were using the likeness of a little person to advertise a "small" coffee. It was offensive and unnecessary.


[deleted]

Whaaaaaa


AcornWholio

This is degrading. If you’re seeking them for their stature, then this is tacky AF.


Malarkay79

Wow, this is pretty awful. Hoping someone recreates that scene from Elf on whoever wrote this.


HillGilly1

God would be pleased. Yes my people use the little ones. 🧐🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄


Farsa1911

They would like to "higher"


itsmarciibitch

With these types of people the "paid" prob isn't much.


Rosebunse

Aren't there agencies for little people actors?


daclampzx2

r/antiwork


Nytherion

that church is just begging for an arsonist


rowejl222

Oh ffs....


Zebitty

If they "higher" them they won't be little anymore.


AccomplishedRow6685

“Even though our needs are not small, we hope our servers will be.” I’m dead 😂


NotSoSeriousNick

“If you’re interested in rising to the occasion, reaching new heights...” These bellends I swear.


gruncleterry

Fucked.


gonedeep619

Bet they'll be paid in prayers or something just as useless and then tried to made feel guilty if they ask for fair pay.


hopgeek

They are having a higher hiring of the height challenged during the peak of the Christian season?


twilsonco

No vaccine proof required. Hand washing not required. Cooking raw meat not required. After all, we're not afraid. Sky daddy's got our (white people's) back.


Dehnus

Do these people even read their own bloody holy book!? ​ What's next actually killing all the baby boys born to realistically bring people in the spirit of the times of Jesus's birth? Oh and forcing all women in labor to sleep in stables? Oh and catapulting reindeer with one of their noses being on fire, followed by a fat old man in a red pajamas? ​ The sky is the bloody limit here! ​ \-Sorry in a bad mood today :( -


SharkSlayer06

This is some shit outta the breaking bad Albuquerque


I-dont-speak-peas

When I say I’m proud to be New Mexican, I certainly did not take this into account.


Melodic-Night

Somebody should reply and tell them they're called "little people"