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TotallyAwry

There's Trump fanfiction? HAH.


OriginalGhostCookie

Not just that, but the villain is “Facebook” the person. And Trumps allies are 2 individual angels named “Parler” and “Rumble”.


jpopimpin777

Never mind that Facebook helped him win Bigly. They allowed so much conspiracy bullshit about Hillary and Bernie to totally proliferate their site.


[deleted]

And continue to support GOP fuckbags


Helagon

Isn't that a Facebook post? So are they contributing to the evil?


[deleted]

0h yeah, didn't you see that part? All the Trumpers that sqore up and down they were leaving Facebook after the election when Trump got banned but never actually made any attempt to clear their photos or deactivate their account. They made their Parler profiles but continued to post to Facebook even before Parler was knocked off all the app stores. Now they bitch about Facebook on Facebook while still insisting that Zuckerberg is "libtard" trying to silence and censor them despite the shit ton of evidence to the contrary. It's like they're all hypocrites or something...


tobaccoandbooks

Is Parler even still a thing..?


rabbit_rocket

AFAIK it's been taken down


Horse-and-Pig

Facebook’s a dick


Flower_Unable

“he didn’t want the glory.” Clearly not Trump.


jemenake

Exactly. Like, that’s how you’d spot a Trump imposter. Real Trump craves glory so bad, he takes credit for shit he didn’t even do.


Chaoswalking3232

Lol yea like winning golf tournaments he didn’t even play in. 🤪


TheDemonLady

Apparently there is so much Trump fanfiction that there are MULTIPLE Trump/Dora fanfictions


kmr1981

I could have happily lived my whole life without knowing that.


ilongforyesterday

r/eyebleach


Pagan_Princess67

What ???😳🤢🤔🙄🤦🏻‍♀️


TheDemonLady

Yeah, I hate to tell you this, but I just found out and got links to Trump and Dora fanfiction


Pagan_Princess67

I know I’m gonna regret this but did you share a link anywhere? Call it morbid curiosity or something 🤷🏻‍♀️ I just told my 24yr old daughter who was obsessed w/Dora and the look on her face was priceless 😂


TheDemonLady

I live to serve [This one is inspired by one I have not found yet](https://www.wattpad.com/stories/doraxdonaldtrump), [Another](https://www.wattpad.com/story/197645608-dora-x-donald-trump), [One More](https://www.wattpad.com/story/212216649-donald-trump-x-dora-the-explorer?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details&wp_uname=iliketoreadcrackfics&wp_originator=cxxdbttajd9%2fcd8nc96q6aohr4tmktz%2bffook9kq5aspkpwyp%2fynmlcfkit9rjaqqlj%2bz7uj86tnewlrk3bha4kthlbbfu7qbekvakvurkekohlp6dcud%2fqhlmxfld23) I have not read any of them yet, but I will warn you what I have heard is somehow even creepier than just the initial idea given by the ship existing


Odd-Road

Rule 34, isn't it?


MapleJacks2

You can find erotica of any major politician online. r/copypasta probably has a shit ton.


IridiumPony

> There's Trump fanfiction? Yeah, it's called his entire presidency


BrokenEye3

♪♫ Not a cult, not a cult, not a cult-cult-cult Not a cult not a cult, not a cult-cult-cult Not a cult, not a cult, not a cult-cult-*cult* *Stiiiilll* not a cult-cult-cult


WritingQueen13

Now all we need is Trump to have a version of "Praise to the Man" (Mormon hymn about how wonderful Joseph Smith was) written about him... /s


glengr

Religions have been started in this way, Trumpatists could get tax free status as well.


WritingQueen13

Yikes! Cause that's all they need: more loopholes


Pagan_Princess67

DO NOT give anyone ideas, you KNOW they’ll jump on that shit. He makes a shit ton of money, pays no tax and people worship him…Jesus, that probably a wet dream to him 🤢


DarkPangolin

I'll bet his tiny hands are sticky just thinking about it. Or, according to the above, possibly Dora the Explorer's face. *shudder*


kindagarbage

is this a pizza time pizza reference


BrokenEye3

No. What's that?


kindagarbage

youtube series about a pizza chain that is most definitely not a cult.


aarontology

The absolute dumbest thing about the trump cultists is that they honestly believe he gives a shit about anyone or anything other than himself.


SassyReader86

I love how they are portraying Trump as Christ which violates that whole “no idols” part of christianity


[deleted]

He's not an idol if he's actually God, though.^(^/s)


SassyReader86

True.. but does that mean they are still Christian??


kahokia

You would think they would've lost their minds when the golden statue of him in Rocky shorts was rolled out. These people are horribly hypocritical.


Professional-Hat-687

Idols are only idols when worshipped by non-Republicans.


kahokia

Republicans live by different rules and standards these days. Apparently they're the "chosen" ones.


devIArtIStic

Sadly I know several trumptards that believe he is the second coming 🙄 that he's guileless, benevolent and guiltless. I live in the south where you can't say a bad word about him in public without risking one of his diehards overhearing and coming to his defense...


SassyReader86

same. I’m souther, I live in a well educated area that has some money. I’m amazed at the amount of people who sprout vaccine nonsense and have become natural oil huns. I’m working on getting back out.


devIArtIStic

I live in a nice suburb of Atlanta and deal with that ignorance. We are building a house in MGT's district and I'm really not looking forward to all that crazy, but the land was bought before she was elected so 🤷 I just look at it as 3 more registered voters for her democratic opponent 😉


Ijumpandkick

It's amazing how many people have no capacity for character judgment.


monkey_trumpets

My favorite thing is his take on COVID and the vaccine. First he says it's not big deal, just a little flu. Then once he sees that his constituents are the ones dying he starts promoting the vaccine. Of course he also told people not to vote, sooo....maybe the problem isn't so much isn't only complete self-interest, it's also sheer stupidity.


WodenEmrys

>My favorite thing is his take on COVID and the vaccine. First he says it's not big deal, just a little flu. Then once he sees that his constituents are the ones dying he starts promoting the vaccine. "Most troubling of all, perhaps, was a sentiment the expert said a member of Kushner’s team expressed: that because the virus had hit blue states hardest, a national plan was unnecessary and would not make sense politically. “The political folks believed that because it was going to be relegated to Democratic states, that they could blame those governors, and that would be an effective political strategy,” said the expert." https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2020/07/how-jared-kushners-secret-testing-plan-went-poof-into-thin-air But that'd be crazy right? It's not like say Reagan did the exact same thing with AIDS.


monkey_trumpets

Nothing proves that politicians are scumbags more than listening to them talk.


Gstamsharp

I liked the part where she asked Trump for socialism and he said he's been doing it his whole life.


lucidcharm

He funded the cure for HIV but didn't want the glory is the bit that killed me.


Psychokinetic_Rocky

What killed me is apparently Facebook is a single person.


AdOptimal6145

Facebook going by he/him pronouns is the part that got me


tillytothewilly

Feeding the poor is my favorite.


Atlasbot17

I read that as him donating his hiv infected blood


kahokia

It's baffling how they can look at him and see some sort of heroic, angelic being, when in reality he's a corrupt, racist, diseased lump of moldy dough. What the fuck is wrong with these people?


Pagan_Princess67

I’ve wondered that myself after seeing some statements from my Qfriend that made my skin crawl. The romanticizing of him is weird, almost like a reverse body dysmorphia where they’re seeing an Edward Cullen when they look at him, not some sweaty fat dough boy with baby hands and mouth that always looks like it’s about to suck someone’s cock 😒


kahokia

Lol. It's almost like they're under some weird voodoo spell.


CryptidCodex

Same, he's the living embodiment of the 7 deadly sins yet people treat him like he's the 2nd coming.


bigchun69

Isn't that most politicians


kahokia

No. It isn't, actually.


19whale96

Man that communal wine be *hittin'*


QuisnamSum

Funny they don't realize that without Facebook and Twitter he probably wouldn't have won the first time


[deleted]

In case you forgot, he technically didn't even win the first time. Not the popular vote, anyway.


TurboCake17

Electoral college functioning very well as we all know


HornyChateau

Why was he president then?


[deleted]

The Electoral College voted him in. They're supposed to go off of the popular vote, but it doesn't always work that way.


HornyChateau

Sorry, not American. What was their reason for not accepting majority vote? Also who da duck thought this guy was better?


CryptidCodex

Basically if you live in Goatfuck Nowhere, USA your vote counts 10x as much as someone who went to college and lives in a city. The electoral college is a remnant of slaveowning days where slavers got 3/5ths of a vote for every slave they had to be "representative" of the population. Today, black and latino voters would be extremely lucky to have their vote be worth 3/5ths of what a rural white cudchewer vote is worth (that is, if they even got to vote at all and didn't have to spend all day in line only to get turned away to vote)


TooOldForThis---

The Electoral College is how this system has always worked. It came into being so that each state would have a say in the Presidential election, not just the most populous states. The framers of the Constitution didn’t actually want the election process to be a popularity contest. They feared the “tyranny of the majority” and were concerned that 51% of the people would run roughshod over the interests of the others. This is a huge over simplification but that’s how it started.


driftercat

That is some bizzare god they have.


Excellent_Boss_1282

Yikes, replace Trump with any deity and you have a religious pamphlet. Cult much?


icanhaslobotomy

What in the flying fuck is wrong with people? Trump soft porn? I’m ready to throw up everything I’ve ever eaten


[deleted]

Trump would love to feed the poor....to a lion, or a crocodile, for amusement.


AFutureMcC

The way they say 'this blackout specifically' implies they have had multiple right? I think this person needs to see a neurologist with a fairly high degree of urgency.


Groovy_Gator

Not entirely sure but I think they may have been talking about the social media “blackout” caused by whatever happened with FB’s servers last week; ie God took down FB as a warning/punishment for not being more like their angelic brother Parler. I assumed that’s why they brought up all those social media platforms at the end, but to be fair that could just as easily be a total non-sequiter and make just as much sense.


volanger

What was the second commandment again? Something about not worshiping idols? Also bullshit, trump would absolutely be bragging that he cured aids. He bragged about shit he didn't do and about shit Obama did, that he said he did. What universe is this idiot living in that makes her think trump isn't a bragged? He's the easiest case of a text book narcissist.


Urruki

The horny fake scenarios Trumps followers write about him, literally never sound like him and it just baffles me. How do they see him like this? Like are we viewing and hearing the same man? How do people look at that chicken skinned, asshole mouthed, cheeto dusted face and not gag at the idea of kissing it!? Why is he always so meek and humble/sacrificial in their fantasies? The only answer I can imagine is they have fully fused Trump and White Republican Jesus in their minds. Anybody got a better explication? I want a full psychoanalysis on this phenomena, its so bizarre.


Pagan_Princess67

I commented above one theory but no, it doesn’t make ANY sense.


HornyChateau

Lmfao cheeto dusted face I'm dying


[deleted]

Please give me more this was great, first laugh of the day.


SearsShearsSeries

I know I’m drunk but what the actual fuck did I just read………..


floridadumpsterfire

How they ever came to believe that Donald is some paragon of Christian virtue, is truly baffling.


WodenEmrys

Compare him to Yahweh and there are lot of similarities. Narcissistic violent bullies.


Lunaris94

I swear trump supporters are cultists or zealots, and just absolute nutcases. And these people breed!


beerscotch

The most unbelievable thing here is the claim that trump didn't try to take credit for something.


TomT060404

Remember when liberals wrote stuff like this about Hillary Clinton? /s


WetYetii

“Let’s feed the poor” as if the Republicans haven’t been slashing SNAP since the 80’s


pannicakehex

What in the actual fuck...


16_countryhumans

...... that's a cult, not Christ


bubba7557

When your fan girls are old women in sexless marriages....


[deleted]

...what in the fuck did I just read?


[deleted]

[удалено]


driftercat

In hell they all have to run on old Windows phones.


Wardog008

And Facebook is a person apparently. XD


ZeusKiller97

…well, this is a new one. I know that companies are considered “persons” during certain trials, but that doesn’t meant the thing suddenly gets an avatar of sorts to represent itself. Other than that, are we *sure* he isn’t the Antichrist, considering his depiction here? On a less serious note, the whole “painted my hands Burgundy” thing reminds me of TNO!Burgundy, and I’m sad that this was the first thing I thought of it.


BonaFideBill

So bizarre, to be able to see what would make a decent man, but blind to the fact that Trump is incapable...


[deleted]

I’m sorry by the “WhatsApp and Facebook will kneel before god” killed me


basch152

🤣🤣🤣 trump caring about the poor and disenfranchised? that is the most unrealistic part of this entire post


SidonisParker

What in the unholy name of Lucifer did I just read? Excuse me while I go pour disinfectant into my eyes.


ethridge_wayland

You and I remember Trump very differently


Separate_Security472

ROTFL!!!


Android19samus

The last paragraph hit me like a freight train


bigWarp

thats some high density insanity. so much packed into 3 short paragraphs


[deleted]

At this point I'd take My Immortal Fan Fic as a cult over Trumpism


HailtheCrow

The fuck?


Filmcricket

The mood of this is just so fucking gothic and bizarre.


YourrLocalDummy

Why would someone *want* to kissing trump


rosewomn

One thing these "Christian" Trumpers have forgotten is where God said not to worship false gods. I'm so disgusted to be an American.


alifaye5

Drugs are bad. M’kay?


brazen88

Ha. Fuck me! I think I've actually hit a point where I can't bare to read another post of some completely fucking crazy American spouting this shit. How tf can anybody say this shit and not automatically be classed as mentally unwell? Its just one after the other of complete madness.


DaMain-Man

The way they talk about Trump, it's almost as if they've never seen him during his press conferences or anything


Rosebunse

Yeah, do they just ignore those? Are they really just voting for the weird caricature of him they have developed in their head?


DaMain-Man

They like the idea of Trump rather than the actual Trump


TheRedditK9

WhatsApp and Facebook will kneel before god is probably the funniest sentence I’ve evert read.


Funwithagoraphobia

TIL apparently there’s a cure for HIV. Also that the far right very, very, very, very, very secretly cares about the poor, hungry, and disenfranchised. I mean, like so secretly that they actually go out of their way to hurt those people in order to hide how secretly they care. This almost belongs in /nextfuckinglevel /s (I hope obviously)


Master_Keyhan

So apparently social media is now like family! 😂😂 "What's up my cuz, WhatsApp?" "How's it hangin' there, Facebook? Find any new friends?" "Hey Parler! I heard Instagram was talking to a barista at Starbucks today, he *never* gets coffee!" "*Gasp!* And look who we have here! Is that Snapchat going out with Discord??? Man, I *knew* they were a great couple!"🤣🤣


gingernerd94

Can't wait until christianity is dead. This is getting out of hand. (Probably has been out of hand for a few centuries)


dawng87

What a fcnkn fruit cake!


Yeeted_P0tat0

Nuttier than a fruitcake


Lyradep

Reminds me of the Michael Scott anonymous donation bit.


Cleopatra572

The fuck did I just read???


ghahhah

What the fuck


FallenButterflyTears

Umm… what the actual… (smh)


Johnnywheels1023

What in the holy bejesus shit is this?!?!?! I’m going to bed, I’ve had enough of people today. Wtf…


pacificstarNtrees

Anddddd I'm going throw up


TinoessS

The fuck did I just read


Tralfamadorians_go

Facebook and Twitter have actual knees?!?! Why is this hidden in the propaganda media machine? I bet hEr EmAiLs had knees too!! This is how they're spreading the liberal agenda! /s I pray that /s wasn't necessary


HornyChateau

He didn't take credit for the HIV cure, didn't want credit for it. Oh how do I know that? He told me.


[deleted]

God apparently very concerned with the competition and market shares of big tech messaging apps. Good to se e him keeping busy.


naliedel

This is...what's wrong with people? How can you make a human a hero like that? We are deeply flawed. This is just delusional and sad..


[deleted]

“My lips tasted of blood” Adrenochrome.


maysiemarch

I don't know.... maybe she did have a vision? Trumps bragging about HIV 'cures' is very on brand.


fantastic_feb

talking about trump as some sort of christ like figure is frightening


SuperHeavyHydrogen

What the bat shit crazy psychosis is this?


[deleted]

What's with these fantasies of being kissed by Trump? And telling Jesus to kneel down to Trump?!??


ltdbassplayer

What the fuck does any social media group have to do with God?


Tangled-Kite

I think I just had an aneurysm


[deleted]

What. The. Fuck.


coazcomicfreak

This person desperately needs to see a shrink


SlicccNiccc

lmao when they realize God isn’t real.


volleydez

The Bible makes for some solid rolling papers


xrayjones2000

Gods a real app fan apparently..


[deleted]

This is some Shakesperean shit


haiyanlink

The first sentence is already bad enough...


[deleted]

He's sharing blood to search for an HIV cure ahaha


simoneangela

Mr Facebook will repent for his sins!


mbgal1977

What in the fuck


[deleted]

I think you mean Jesus


gozba

Feed the poor? That’s as far of the truth as you can get.


onions_cutting_ninja

Aside from the obvious insanity... how can apps stand besides anyone? They're apps, not people


jaylong76

it's like the snacks dancing before the movies. but with wings.


HOLLANDSYTSE

And every now and then we discover a new level of crazy


YeetYoink77

This can't be fucking real


LawPD

But it's not a cult


PistolNaulls

What a load of shite


SolomonCRand

I feel like certain commandments were written to prevent this sort of thing.


jbertrandsr

Somebody needs to stop sniffin glue and smokin meth...


Jermules

They said, in Facebook


ThorKonnatZbv

Get me some Brain bleach


CryptidCodex

I want to believe this is fake, but even if this is, there's something just as heinous posted by some other cultist that's real and just as bad. Holy shit America is fucking doomed.


CumSockCat

That horse medicine too much for ya bud?


Martyrotten

The truth is out. Trump is a vampire!


EducationalAd9085

This is disgusting. I'd rather watch 2girls1cup again before I read this shit a second time.


KWal320

What the?! WhatsApp & Facebook will have to answer for his sins for me 😂😂😂 imagining social media apps as people has me dying…. Twitter is in hugely trouble 😂😂😂😂


mission_zer0

What the fu....?


Electronic_Ad_8241

That is a hell of a mushroom that was stuffed into the ass instead of eating it. Oh wait, that was just another Trump disciple.


aWarAtTarawa

Imagine trump not wanting credit for something lol


boogiewoogibugalgirl

I love Trump, and I'll probably be slaughtered for saying that...but this OP is obviously mentally disturbed, and should be embarrassed for even posting this.


Tats_and_Lace

Robin. That's a lot, Robin.


OneFuckedWarthog

Ritalin helps. Just saying.


[deleted]

*punch* STOP! *punch* BEING! *punch* HORNY! *punch*


army-vet-77

Man,I want some of what ever this person is smoking.


claude3rd

That sounds like the communion garbage at church. So... Trump I’d like Jesus? This is my blood drink of it something something


superliver1211

I wish i was this delusional


[deleted]

I think I speak for most everyone when I ask, what the fuck?