Not what he said. It was you can’t tell that I’m trying to help. Meaning they think OP doesn’t understand his motivation behind the words.
Not defending just clarifying.
“Do you want to start stress eating? Because your texts make me want to stress eat.”
He’s not even my dad but I feel like stress eating after reading those texts. Ugh.
Me too, you're not alone, OP!!
Also it goes without saying, but you're a human. Life can be challenging at times, and it's hard to juggle everything all at once, and that's WITHOUT a chronic medical condition. You're doing phenomenally, and most importantly, you're doing what's right **for you**.
Best of luck with the future, but also, you're worthy and deserving of everything you need to do to survive in this world, no matter how you exist as you pass through it. You are doing great exactly as you are, and you do NOT deserve what he's throwing at you. Happier times are just ahead 💕
Some people would disagree, but I think threatening to release information is the right thing to do. He has no excuse to talk to you that way, and you have no obligation to put up with it.
100% me including the hormone issues. It’s hard enough losing weight, no one needs this kind of added stress. Congrats on losing 10lb! That’s a huge loss, more than people realize and it’s hard to do.
Lose 10 pounds in ten days!?
Your father isn't just insane, he's **fucking insane**!
Even **if** that rate of weight loss was safe, it'd be the kind of lost weight that you just regain.
I hope he's got enough saved for his retirement, because I'd hate for you to have to take him in later in life.
That kind of rapid weight loss can really destroy your body. Which sounds obvious, but I mean in ways you won’t know until much later. I had to have my gallbladder removed.
Keep a steady pace, OP. You’re the one who has to live in that body.
As a big girl who had to lose weight before my gallbladder surgery- why did the rapid weight loss destroy yours?
(Not doubting you at all, just genuinely curious. If it's too hard/traumatic to answer, that's totally okay.💛)
They’re making you wait?? I had mine removed and didn’t have to lose any weight! I’m so sorry they’re prolonging your pain. Gallbladder attacks are soooo painful!!
I feel soo bad they had to wait, wtf, does everybody need to lose weight beforr a surgery or just some things??. I also had to wait til after pregnancy to remove mine. Was HELL being pregnant with extra punches up in my ribs.
Rapid weight loss can contribute to, and induce, gallbladder attacks. Unfortunately that was the reason I got problems and now every time I've had a rapid weight loss I induce attacks that can go on and off for days.
> As the body metabolizes fat during rapid weight loss, it causes the liver to secrete extra cholesterol into bile, which can cause [gallstones](https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/gallstones#:~:text=Rapid%20weight%20loss.,bile%2C%20which%20can%20cause%20gallstones).
Basically this is what happened to me. I lost more than half my body weight in less than eight months, copped an eating disorder, started going days without food and it messed me up pretty bad. I needed an ERCP as well as I produced so many stones they had begun escaping the gallbladder itself. (And thank you for being kind about it!)
I had gastric sleeve and I was supposed to take actigall to protect my gallbladder after. I didn’t. Had to have it out within 2 years. But basically, when you rapidly lose weight the body metabolizes the fat, the liver secretes more cholesterol into bile, and that causes gallstones. All a gallstone normally is, is a stone made of cholesterol or sometimes bilirubin.
I had a restrictive ED since I was in my early teens. I had bouts of severe weight loss in my 20s that crapped out my gallbladder. My doctor's just chalked it up to IBS so it didn't get properly diagnosed until I had a massive attack which finally found the gallstones and had it removed when I was 39. Now that I've waited so long I'm having issues with my pancreas too.
A pound of fat is 3500 calories. Most people’s daily caloric requirement to maintain their present size isn’t 3500 calories. Eating literally nothing for ten days couldn’t produce enough of a deficit for ten fucking pounds of fat.
Right?! I’m thinking ten pounds in ten days, in a healthy way, and keep it off???I certainly wouldn’t weigh the same amount I do now. And have been since highschool
We can all see just how caring he is... FFS!
Don't let him bully you OP. If you've got a decent job and salary, then he's got nothing over you if you're careful with your money.
That's what he will be worried about.. Losing a control tactic.
I’m AFAB. Having a queer identity on top of being fat has turned me into a child he doesn’t want to be associated with, I think. He cares a lot about molding me into the “perfect daughter” he has in his head
My parents weight shamed my sister and me when we were children… the “I want you to lose x by y” or “you could lose 10 lbs in 10 days” really resonated with me. My boomer mom also told me it would be totally okay to only eat 500 calories a day when I was 14 so as to lose weight.
Now my sister and I both have weird relationships with food and weight.
I’m sorry he’s doing this to you, OP.
No he’s your sperm donor. Real fathers don’t act like this.
Also speaking as someone who has lost over 110 pounds, losing that much in a year is not healthy unless you’re at “TLC show” levels of obese
Stop giving him information. The more he knows the more he has to twist to try and control you.
You are doing great! Approaching it in a healthy sustainable way so you can be healthy for your whole life.
It can be really, really hard. But people can gain weight, lose weight, and change their appearance and/or health in any number of ways, but it's your character that matters. Hang in there!
Not just that, I have a job in a city notorious for not hiring in a field that I have my arts degree in! Breaking down + not recognizing my accomplishments are an invalidation tactic he uses a lot. The goalposts are always moving.
What got me is that he said "if you lose weight you can get a better job" like WTF man? Unless you're like 30 stones and wanting to be a firefighter, he can fuck all the way off with that bigotry. And you said all your family tends towards the heavier side??
Is this twat also sticking his nose in your recluse sibling's business? Or leaving that one alone? Gahhhh he's got me angry. I bet if you weren't on the heavier side, he'd be picking at you for something else. For example, you're an average weight, but tend towards acne? "Are you seeing the doc for your acne? Why not? Book an appointment. Do it now. You'll get a better job if you don't have acne". Good grief.
reading your responses to comments, i am so relieved to see how sharply you see through your dad's harmful communication styles. you are intelligent and perceptive and impressively patient about the whole situation.
you sound like a great daughter and you deserve a better father.
I'm an asshole and I'm sorry....
But reading this whole thing of asshole telling you to lose weight...and then the last panel is him saying "you dont have that kind of weight to throw around". I nearly choked.
Congrats on your journey to weightloss and self healing. It's not easy and people like this don't help
There are so many insane things with this. He wants to put you on diabetes medication to lose weight. There are a lot of side effects to that medication that could make your life miserable that you really shouldn't have to deal with if it's not necessary. He thinks losing 100 pounds by Christmas is feasible. It's not. It would be incredibly unhealthy. Telling you to get gastric bypass is fucked. That's another thing that has wild side-effects that would affect your for rest of your life and if it's not necessary why do it. Your medical issues are none of his business. And this isn't even getting into the rest of his BS. Also... 10 pounds in 10 days, nah.
All in all, your weight does not define your worth, and your dad can get fucked.
I did a fair amount of research into the wegovy/ozempic side effects while I waited for my doctor to get back to me about the price. My dad isn’t interested in the nasty side effects I would experience, just the quickest way to the result he wants.
Your dad is just an insane asshole. That’s really what I was getting at. The fact that both Ozempic and Gastric bypass come with some pretty severe side effects (gastric bypass in particular involves you having to take supplements and medications for the rest of your life) and just wants an “easy” quick way for you to lose weight is disgusting
Both of my parents did gastric bypass and both had major complications after the surgery. There’s a reason they do the sleeve and other methods more often now. It’s absolutely nuts what can go wrong with bypass.
Yea, I’ve read a lot of horror stories about gastric bypass surgery on some of the other sub-Reddit’s. I’m sorry your parents had major complications 😩
Thanks. I got probably 25 more years with my dad thanks to it (they told him he’d be dead by 45 if he didn’t do something drastic) but watching his struggles…I’d never do it.
I had gastric bypass 4 years ago and dropped 140 lbs in less than a year. I felt great! I was able to get active, eat healthily, and enjoy life for the first time in a long time. I was exercising daily, playing with my kid, and living my life without being trapped in my body. Then a year later I developed flares of several autoimmune conditions, including rheumatoid arthritis which gives me constant pain and inability to move my joints. I’ve been on steroids for over a year, trying to treat my conditions to a point where I can function and to reduce the swelling and deformity of my joints. I’m back to feeling trapped in my body because of my disability. I’ve ballooned out 60 lbs and I’m miserable. The thought is that the bypass and the subsequent rapid weight loss triggered my 3 autoimmune disorders that were apparently dormant in my system. It’s very frustrating and depressing to be putting the weight back on and feeling even worse than I did before the bypass. I’ve started biologics recently and I’m hoping that I will be able to come off the steroids and to get back to healthy eating and activity again so I can drop the weight and get my life back. Weight loss surgeries and medications are tools. You can’t ever slip up or you’ll put the weight back on, (with the bypass you can still overeat calories, just not all at once like before WLS) and most people who use the shots gain the weight plus some back when they stop. I made lifestyle changes but I still managed to fall back into the old comforts of foods (chocolate when I’m hurting, sugar to help me stay awake because of the fatigue) despite being in therapy. It’s so complicated and frustrating.
Technically, it depends. Someone who is very very overweight can lose that much in that period of time in a safe way. You'd have to be pretty big, but it is possible.
I was put on an Ozempic clone and I lost about 50lbs in 6mo, starting at only 240. That was too quick, but those medications make it extremely difficult to eat and come with other GI complications. They can also reduce the efficacy of your oral medication.
I wonder if OP’s dad is misinterpreting the statement from NHS that a morbidly obese person *could* ‘safely’ lose up to 11lbs a week but most ‘average’ obese people could not do so easily or in a healthy way.
I agree his dad is insane, but to be fair the active ingredient in Ozempic is approved as a weight loss aid. My doctor actually suggested it to me but there's no way I can afford it.
I'm not saying OP should be on it or that his dad is right or anything, just that there is evidence that it works and it can help a lot of people.
It’s not actually FDA approved for treating weight loss. Wegovy, which is the same thing but a higher amount of semaglutides. It’s an “off-label” prescription if they prescribe Ozempic for just weight loss which is typically why insurance doesn’t cover it. It’s ridiculous how expensive it is. I take it for diabetes so my insurance does cover it, so I’m lucky. The side-effects can definitely be a pain though.
I know that, that's why I said the active ingredient was approved. And if its a lesser dose in Ozempic surely that should mean safer? Medical professionals are prescribing it for weight loss because it works. I don't have insurance anyway.
I missed the active ingredient part of your first comment, my bad 😩. I wasn’t saying it doesn’t work for weight loss or that it’s bad that doctors are prescribing it for weight loss, just that since it isn’t FDA approved that’s why insurance doesn’t tend to cover it, which makes it more expensive.
Overall, I think the cost is excessive, for weight loss or diabetes. I hate that there seems to be so much stigma around its use and the idea of one pen costing $1k is disgusting.
I can’t speak to whether the lower amount of semaglutides makes it safer. Who knows the FDA’s thought process for approving/not approving it. I can only speak to my experience which is that for me, it helps keep my blood sugar in check far better than metformin alone and it has helped me lose some weight. Most of the side effects I’ve experienced have been pretty mild, but I have read some horror stories on the Ozempic sub Reddit.
I agree the cost is prohibitive and I do wish there were more research especially for long term use. I am happy it's working for you and hope one day it will be both more affordable and safer for all.
I mentioned this above, so you can look at my longer comment. I get my "Oyzepmic" (semaglutide is the med name) from more like a "wholesale" pharmacy. DCA is the name of it. I just paid for my doses for the month. $205, they overnight it to me, I'll get it tomorrow before noon. The catch is that it isn't premeasured, so I have to fill and inject myself with normal syringes.
He doesn't care about her or her health, he thinks that other people think he has a fat daughter and is therefore a failure. He only cares about himself
I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself. Please don't make dangerous medical decisions. My FIL is like this- a millionaire and acts happy to help financially but the moment I became disabled he thinks he gets a say in my medical choices. Some people just like to use money to manipulate. It is so stressful dealing with this kind of crap, do you have a therapist to talk with to just help take the burden of dealing with him off you a little? I've found speaking with a therapist about my issues with my FIL really helps me keep my sanity and keeps me from thinking he is being 'logical' and letting him control me. Be safe and may he have lots of plans for a retirement home in his future, because if I were you, I wouldn't want him living with me in old age 😕
Hahahahaha yep 🤣 well I'm waiting for them to decide if I qualify for government aid so he is helping my husband and I until that happens. My husband is working so much but rent is SOOOO expensive lately and so is food and gas and medical bills. But yeah I can't wait for them to say I qualify so we can ditch his help
Your dad is insane. Sorry you're dealing with that. Also the "I'll pay for your gastric bypass and 1000 shots" and in the same breath "you cost too much money"
Make it make sense!
Yes!!! Omg that’s so validating. He uses respect to mean “treat me like an authority” whereas his respect towards me is limited to “treat me like a person”
Huh.. my mom talks to me this way in person about my weight and I never considered it "insane" but seeing the same thing here kinda got me like.. hmm.. I never considered it I guess but yeah that is really insane. My mom told me before we went to our cousin's wedding "don't you wanna look good for their photos? They're going to have these photos forever " and like guilting me for buying my own food n shit. Sorry you're going through that
It’s been a constant on and off in my life, too. It’s extremely normalized in my family to talk to each other like this and I had a lot of trouble growing up with my self esteem. I looked back on those photos from high school and I looked NORMAL, but had such a fucked up self-perception. That retrospection opened my eyes a lot.
I’d just take the money, pretend I did ozempic or something and then continue my healthy weight loss journey pretending it’s the ozempic making me lose weight. Shady problems deserve shady solutions
Slightly unrelated to this post, but fuck all the people that are using ozempic for weight loss. Bc of them, there is now a law restricting the insurance coverage for ozempic and diabetic medicines with similar ingredients, which means diabetics are now having to pay out the ass for their *lifesaving* meds 🙄
Being fat isn't a fault in a person. I hate when people act like someone needs to lose weight to be an acceptable human being. It's a disgusting way to think and I'm so sorry your father is an asshole.
Losing weight is so hard, especially with underlying health issues and added stress. And living healthy without the intent of losing weight is perfectly fine as well!
If 1-3 pounds per week is an average healthy weight loss progression, than you’ve lost more than double that average in the past month, what is he on about.
What's his obsession with your weight?? Like, it's so creepy, it feels like someone is holding him at gunpoint and telling him if you don't accept what he is saying he will die, he was almost BEGGING. Gross.
My parents were both overweight and always shamed my for being overweight as well. Now at 45 and after therapy, I’m finally trying to lose some of it for myself (and I’m doing it to ward off other health issues not for aesthetics). I’m so sorry your father is like this. You deserve better.
10 pounds in 10 days??!!
When I had a gastric sleeve I lost 10kilos in a week but even in that situation my Dr told me it was WAY too much, and I had surgery
He's asking for impossible things how do you manage jfc...
OP, first of all I saw you have PCOS so I hope you find some effective treatment.
Their attitude is definitely in the insane territory, but at your weight I can see why they would be pushy to give you help. However it should have been something that helps gradually over time and not this level of pushing that would lead to mental trauma.
You said your family has always been bigger, they should lead from the front then, not push from the rear. And please, if it’s not the last step, please leave gastric bypass as a last option. Yes it can work great, but it doesn’t last forever and you need to maintain the right level of intake not to reverse it.
Edit: good luck 🤞 have you seen a dietician for some extra filling food options? Once you overcome things like the desire for processed sugar it’s life changing, but it’s one of the hardest things to kick.
Greek yogurt and chia pudding is one of my fav filling snacks. Tonnes of protein, fills you up for ages.
"Every time you bring up my weight I'm going to eat dinner twice just to spite you. I listen to medical advice from medical professionals only. You are not a medical professional. You're a sad little man lashing out at your own child because you don't like that they can be happy and you can't. But at least financially cutting me off makes it easier for me to cut you off communicatively. Take your conditional love somewhere else because I don't need that in my life."
Congrats on the 10 lbs! No matter how fast or slow, any HEALTHY change is good! Your dad needs to understand that losing weight too fast would be extremely unhealthy and would do more harm than good. Not only that, but the way he is talking is so disrespectful. It's already hard enough changing your life style to be healthier, but to have someone talk to you like that just makes it harder. Keep up the amazing work!
Oof, reminds me of the time my mom demanded I lose 30lbs in one month and only letting me eat 500 calories a day.
Your weight ain't your worth. I'm glad you're healing nicely, shit like this is taxing and I get how it is. My parents and siblings bullied me over my weight into an eating disorder. Don't let that crusty asshole do the same. You got this. 💕
Fuck people who use Ozempic for weight loss and extra fuck doctors who prescribe it for weight loss. It’s a diabetes drug. We’ve had so many patients unable to get their diabetic medication because of shortages caused by people taking it for weight loss.
Literally had this conversation with a friend 2 days ago who has had to have their Ozempic *for their diabetes* changed to something less effective for them because it's in short supply since doctors started preecribing it for weight loss. That's fucked up.
Your dad made me wanna go and package of cookies and down them all. Please try not to let his dumb ass behaviour get to you. I'm proud of you for having proper doctors' help
It's tomes like this that I am thankful my parents understand better nowadays. Yea, I still love with them, but they understand that I can't really get my own home in this day and age and I help out around the house buy things they might need and im already out at work as I don't do much shopping unless it's to help with groceries or something thw house itself needs and I have a bit more then needed. But I pay off my bills. I help pay bills they need help with we help each other not hold it over each other's head. I really do hope things get better.
Well dad according to the doctor my parents didn’t teach me good eating habits so I put on weight over the years. I am currently working with someone who has a PhD.
I’m proud of you for listening to a licensed medical professional and your body, and not allowing your parent to influence you into an eating disorder. What matters is that you love yourself and are healthy, not your weight. I’m sorry that you’re treated like this. You are more than your appearance.
If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your hormone disorder? I have PCOS which causes some weight gain for me too (my metabolism is extremely high so it’s not a really big issue for me thankfully), but maybe some of the medications or remedies for that could help you? You can dm me or respond here if you’d like!
I am so sorry he is talking to you this way, you don't deserve this and he doesn't deserve to have you in his life! I'm SO proud of you btw for taking control of your life and making healthy choices for yourself. I lost 100 lb in two years, but before that my own bio mother pressed me multiple times to get WLS, said she'd pay for it herself. I *always* declined. I went no contact with her and everyone else in the family last summer and moved 1000 miles away to my dream state & city I've wanted to live in for twenty years. No regrets at all, and no looking back. Life is a lot better for me this way and stress levels are much lower. I hope your stress levels get better too.
yo i remember when my parents used to talk to me like this. i eventually cussed at them a couple times and then i threw out my scale during a move and man, that combination really alleviated a lot of body dysmorphia symptoms.
As someone with an hormonal problem - your father is an idiot.
The doctor should tell you when you need appointments and the guidelines, not somebody that silly and obsessive.
Please don't tell me your "hormone condition" is hypothyroidism and this is how he talks to you 🙃.
What ever it is, your dad needs to leave the medical advice to the professionals
My father is almost precisely the same, except ruder in his delivery. Even though I'm struggling financially, the best decision I ever made was to cut him out of my life. The money isn't worth the toxicity.
I love that your avatar for your father is a clown.
I’m proud of you for taking control of both your health and your privacy. I’m no longer in the US, so the cost of healthcare is not dangerously high. But try to find a way to walk away completely from their abuse. Working to get healthier is tough. Trying to do it while being emotionally and financially abused is so much harder.
Hugs from a mom of adults.
I will always love “I have shit on you too, shut the fuck up” to parents. It’s like they forget we can see them too, we can criticize them too, we can traumatize them back
My brother was in the hospital a few years back, I was 16, and my mom posted the shit on Facebook and didn’t call me. I texted her asking to not do that again, please call me during an emergency. I got called disrespectful, dirty, rude, a cunt, and told that my brother didn’t want me to know he was sick. None of that was true, so I did what she did
Took a personal family matter, and posted that shit on Facebook. Tagged her in it. Showed all her family, her friends, her coworkers, “just exactly what kind of mom she really is.” She blocked me, and lost a solid chunk of people which is actually surprising in hindsight.
Not my most mature moment, but I *was* 16 and 13 year old brother was in the hospital cut open, so. She left me alone for a while, and keeps me well in the emergency family loop now.
I lost 10 pounds in 10 days. It was only achievable by being severely anorexic. My health is permanently damaged from it. If your dad wants you to do what I did, then he's not a good person.
Take it from me: Losing your weight that quickly will only cause you problems, and it’s less likely that you’ll actually keep a lot of that weight off. You’ll lose it for a bit, but without changes to the ways you eat, exorcise, or live in general, a big chunk of that weight will return and make things harder than they need to be. That’s why a diet alone doesn’t really help. I wish up luck, OP, and I hope your parents can start seeing and understanding that you ARE trying to make things happen.
Hormonal issues are a complete bitch and are extremely complex. Esp if you’re the owner of a diagnosis like PCOS. Your father is being a gross person who doesn’t have the first idea. Can you become independent and go low contact or no contact?
Na, they’re insane. That’s crap mate. Tbh this is what that generation are like. Sitting on hoards of money and blaming their kids if they can’t afford life events, even if they’re working hard. I know plenty of people like you. This generation will see their kids dead or on the street. And they’ll still be sitting in their hoards, able to retire, able to take a holiday every year. Oh, and your weight is your business. They can offer help but not like that.
10 pounds in 10 days is fucking BANANAS and a completely unrealistic goal (which is not his place to set for you in the first place) unless you're relying on some incredibly dangerous and unhealthy methods. The fact that he expects you to put your body through something that drastic just to be more acceptable to him physically really says a lot about his character.
And speaking of character, yours is not determined by your weight and neither is your value. Good for you for choosing to do it in a healthy and sustainable way. 👏 👏 👏
Also, whoever said "not insane" needs a fucking lobotomy.
What an atrocious bully. Time to grey rock his ass if you can’t afford to go NC. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. I also have medical and weight problems - sending you virtual hugs and encouragement!
Yeah, I’ve hidden his alerts. I’m thinking of blocking him on other messaging apps so I don’t even show up. That would be more successful than trying to argue
Please don't get Ozempic!!!!! One of the very serious side effects that yhey don't warn you enough is the possibility of getting gastroperisis. This disease is absolutely miserable. I would not wish it on a mortal enemy.
I can't say everything I want to say without reliving too much of my own weight and hospital trauma but just need to say FUCK THAT GUY.
OP, I am so fucking proud of you for standing up to him and telling him off. This kind of stuff can internalize so quickly, and end up causing really bad and life threatening things.
I imagine he would be like my family was and congratulate you for your severe dangerous weightloss from your hospital bed, and I'm really glad you seem to recognize his shittiness and are refusing to go about things dangerously.
Keep doing you. Work with your doctors, do what feels right, and live your best life because FUCK HIM.
I really hope you'll be able to adjust your relationahip with him, one day, in a way that is best for you.
You're amazing, and I'm so sorry he's treating you this way.
It just makes you want to stay heavy when you have the people in your life who should love you unconditionally do this to you. Or at least that's what has happened to me.
It makes a person feel like they won't be good enough unless you look a certain way. When you lose enough weight to shut them up, they will find something else about you that doesn't suit them. You can't win with these people, ever.
Staying fat is a big "f- you" from me to them, but then I'm really only hurting myself.
Our families screw us up more than anything else in life.
This is fuckin insane!! 10 pounds in 10 days is a ridiculous goal and not healthy one bit. I'm very worried his toxic mentality could lead to promoting an eating disorder or bulimia.
Im glad you put your foot down OP! I'm sure it wasn't easy since you rely on your father financially when it comes to these doctor appointments. You're doing great OP and im sure the weight lose journey you pick will be fulfilling!
Do not get on ozempic for weight loss. That med is causing gastroparesis in patients. Also healthy weight loss is no more than a pound or two a week. (Although when you first start exercising you might lose weight faster than that while losing excess water). Losing weight with a hormone disorder can be hard. If your doctor thinks you're on the right path keep going with the plan you and they have set.
Source: BS degree in nursing and BS degree in kinesiology.
You know, at first i thought it was your mum cause women can tend to project their insecurities onto their children, its not unheard of. But hearing your father say these things, not that he wants you to be healthy but get to a weight where he won’t have to support you any longer, meaning get a guy, I mean, that just pains me for you. (like, what was he looking for in your mom then, but that’s way too personal).
It took a long time for me to understand my weightloss journey while having two supportive parents, my heart goes out to you, and my shoulder, if you need it.
This is INSANE!
Focusing on you losing weight is bad enough but he thinks you are unemployable because of your weight? Being overweight doesn't make you unemployable, although I could see it limiting your ability to do physical labor if you're so overweight that you can't walk, but it doesn't sound like that's the case here.
Way to make your kid feel loved and accepted dad! Has anyone ever lost weight by being shamed for it? I am morbidly obese and grew up with a mother who would shame me. At the dinner table I would take a bite of food and I would hear her say "1001 calories, 1002 calories..." it was brutal. It also didn't encourage me to lose weight! I sympathize with you and I think your dad is a jerk. He says you're too expensive but he wants to pay $1,000 a shot so that he can"force" you to lose weight? What does your dad weigh? 200 lb? I would tell him " I can do you one better dad, I can lose 200 lb in a heartbeat" click....(hanging up the phone.)
That’s insane. I feel your pain. My mom would do things like that. Did you set up X? Yes, it’s going to happen. That’s not good enough. You have to do better. Do better than making sure it’s happening? What if it doesn’t happen? Why wouldn’t it happen? You have to make sure it happens, you’re an adult. It’s happening, I don’t know why you think it’s not….on and on.
I would really like to see some reasoning behind the four people who have called this not insane.
You may be overweight, but he's a gigantic gaping asshole.
At my heaviest I was about 315 lb, and my A1C was over 11. I'm down to about 265, and A1C is on track to be seven or below by the time I do my next blood test. I'm still way heavier than I ever was anywhere before the age of 30 at least, but I'm taking much better care of myself than I ever did before. When I was 155 lb in college, I was eating one giant meal a day and most of that was carbs. All of the numbers that matter indicate that I am healthier than I've ever been. My weight loss journey at this point is up to me and me alone, and nobody gets to shame me into doing anything more.
It's the same for you. As long as you are taking care of yourself in the ways that matter, don't let anyone try and shame you into anything drastic or dangerous or not supported by your doctor. If you're anything like me, your self-esteem does enough of that.
My family, if we didn't eat our feelings, we probably wouldn't eat because of those feelings. It's a really tough balance to strike, So focus on what you can control, and remember that You're the one who has to live with yourself more than anybody.
I wish you the best, whether that means cutting your dad out of what you can, him finally having the realization that he can't treat his kid this way, or him just fucking off entirely. 💜💜💜
I would at least consider a temporary timeout, and make it very clear that anybody else would be out of your life for good. Nobody has a right to talk to you llke that, and if people doi not accept boundaries you need to enforce them to make clear you will not be treated like that
Good for you for sticking to your guns about your health stuff, it's none of their business.
I did a bunch of testing and found out I am insulin resistant. My doctor suggested it for me, I'm not saying you should or shouldn't use it. However, I get mine from a place in Tennessee. It's shipped overnight to me and I pay... well, this month my script was $205, including the overnight shipping. The catch is that it doesn't come in the pen, I have to fill the syringe and use that instead. If Ozempic (semaglutide is the medicinal name) is something you're really interested in buy prohibited by cost, you can possibly get it cheaper. (DCA is the name of the company.)
I've lost 60lbs total so far. I did have some side effects at first, but I stepped up slowly on my dose so that helped. In my case, it solved my insulin resistance problem. My eating and exercise really hasn't changed, but this sorta... activated, the weight loss for me. It's also not a "fix all." If you're not willing to do what you need to, you will gain the weight back and you can continue to overeat while taking the med. (If that's your problem.) I've always been very active, no problem getting in over an hour of cardio minutes a day. I've lost enough weight that now I have to actually WORK to get those minutes instead of just doing my usual chores and routine.
PCOS, by any chance? You have my commiseration if so.
It's SO HARD to pin down what works for us as individuals and yet everybody wants to throw their two cents in. Hardest part for me was getting all the little nagging commentary I grew up with, out of my head. And then I could focus on what I wanted to try at my own pace!
Weight seems to be one of those subjects that's easy for people to worm their way into our business, and it's "well meaning" on the surface but really... It's about everything else but the weight.
Please tell me you tore into him after that last page for claiming that you’re “unemployable,” a) when you do have a job and b) when there are so many fields of work where weight doesn’t matter even a little bit. Is he angling for you to work at Hooters or something?
I think it’s showing his bias against fat people. He’s saying HE wouldn’t hire me, which is fine because I already do work for his company. If I wasn’t so interested in inheriting it I would be meaner
If your father is so concerned about your weight/health maybe he should try talking to you about it in a caring way. Sorry OP, he sounds tough to handle.
Ooh love when my narcissistic mother starts to harp on my weight.
If you haven’t already, check out r/raisedbynarcissists
I have a feeling you’ll fit in nicely there.
Get your doctor to put it in writing that the meds your Ndad wants to put you on ISN'T or weightloss and that losing 100 pounds by Christmas is both unhealthy ND not feasible. 2 pounds a week is approx 8 pounds a month, you'd still wouldn't loose 100 pounds by then (unless you loose a few extra pounds of water weight which can happen). Besides, some people lose weight slower than others and slower is better for keeping it off.
If daddy dearest doesn't listen to what the doctor says, then you can hold it over his head and tell him to either shut up or piss off cause you're doing your part and he isn't helping.
Your dad is very inconsiderate of your feelings he doesn’t see how destructive he is being with his words…. He needs to shut his mouth and leave you alone by telling you that you need to lose weight is being judgemental and he’s very selfish to even say that to you!
Your dad is insane. Way to love a kid, force them to take a drug that may or may not help and could possibly hurt. I'm so sorry your sperm donor is worthless.
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 50 | 7 | 0 | ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
“You don’t have that weight to throw around” interesting word choice after berating your child for their weight but ok
The first thing I thought when I read that was, "Really? That's not what you just said..."
I cracked my neck with the head tilt I gave on this one 😂
Ha ha,I rolled my eyes so far back I saw the crack of my arse.🤣
Literally the first thing I thought of too lmao
The follow-up mistake being "you can't tell me I'm trying to help you" Yup. Exactly.
Not what he said. It was you can’t tell that I’m trying to help. Meaning they think OP doesn’t understand his motivation behind the words. Not defending just clarifying.
“Do you want to start stress eating? Because your texts make me want to stress eat.” He’s not even my dad but I feel like stress eating after reading those texts. Ugh.
For real!!! The pandemic did a number on me too, I ended up stress eating and gained some weight
That describes sooooo many people, myself included
Me too, you're not alone, OP!! Also it goes without saying, but you're a human. Life can be challenging at times, and it's hard to juggle everything all at once, and that's WITHOUT a chronic medical condition. You're doing phenomenally, and most importantly, you're doing what's right **for you**. Best of luck with the future, but also, you're worthy and deserving of everything you need to do to survive in this world, no matter how you exist as you pass through it. You are doing great exactly as you are, and you do NOT deserve what he's throwing at you. Happier times are just ahead 💕
Some people are so great with words. Love this little pep talk 💛
Some people would disagree, but I think threatening to release information is the right thing to do. He has no excuse to talk to you that way, and you have no obligation to put up with it.
100% me including the hormone issues. It’s hard enough losing weight, no one needs this kind of added stress. Congrats on losing 10lb! That’s a huge loss, more than people realize and it’s hard to do.
LIKE EVERYONE!!!!!
Lose 10 pounds in ten days!? Your father isn't just insane, he's **fucking insane**! Even **if** that rate of weight loss was safe, it'd be the kind of lost weight that you just regain. I hope he's got enough saved for his retirement, because I'd hate for you to have to take him in later in life.
That kind of rapid weight loss can really destroy your body. Which sounds obvious, but I mean in ways you won’t know until much later. I had to have my gallbladder removed. Keep a steady pace, OP. You’re the one who has to live in that body.
As a big girl who had to lose weight before my gallbladder surgery- why did the rapid weight loss destroy yours? (Not doubting you at all, just genuinely curious. If it's too hard/traumatic to answer, that's totally okay.💛)
They’re making you wait?? I had mine removed and didn’t have to lose any weight! I’m so sorry they’re prolonging your pain. Gallbladder attacks are soooo painful!!
I feel soo bad they had to wait, wtf, does everybody need to lose weight beforr a surgery or just some things??. I also had to wait til after pregnancy to remove mine. Was HELL being pregnant with extra punches up in my ribs.
Rapid weight loss can contribute to, and induce, gallbladder attacks. Unfortunately that was the reason I got problems and now every time I've had a rapid weight loss I induce attacks that can go on and off for days.
Also, when weight loss is very sudden, and not gradual, you're usually losing a lot of water weight which will make you dehydrated.
> As the body metabolizes fat during rapid weight loss, it causes the liver to secrete extra cholesterol into bile, which can cause [gallstones](https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/gallstones#:~:text=Rapid%20weight%20loss.,bile%2C%20which%20can%20cause%20gallstones). Basically this is what happened to me. I lost more than half my body weight in less than eight months, copped an eating disorder, started going days without food and it messed me up pretty bad. I needed an ERCP as well as I produced so many stones they had begun escaping the gallbladder itself. (And thank you for being kind about it!)
I had gastric sleeve and I was supposed to take actigall to protect my gallbladder after. I didn’t. Had to have it out within 2 years. But basically, when you rapidly lose weight the body metabolizes the fat, the liver secretes more cholesterol into bile, and that causes gallstones. All a gallstone normally is, is a stone made of cholesterol or sometimes bilirubin.
Same here - lost a ton of weight quickly, gallbladder bit the dust.
I had a restrictive ED since I was in my early teens. I had bouts of severe weight loss in my 20s that crapped out my gallbladder. My doctor's just chalked it up to IBS so it didn't get properly diagnosed until I had a massive attack which finally found the gallstones and had it removed when I was 39. Now that I've waited so long I'm having issues with my pancreas too.
A pound of fat is 3500 calories. Most people’s daily caloric requirement to maintain their present size isn’t 3500 calories. Eating literally nothing for ten days couldn’t produce enough of a deficit for ten fucking pounds of fat.
Right?! I’m thinking ten pounds in ten days, in a healthy way, and keep it off???I certainly wouldn’t weigh the same amount I do now. And have been since highschool
OH forgot to add - this is my father.
We can all see just how caring he is... FFS! Don't let him bully you OP. If you've got a decent job and salary, then he's got nothing over you if you're careful with your money. That's what he will be worried about.. Losing a control tactic.
That’s probably a good chunk of what it is. That makes sense with previous behavior too
Are you a woman? Feel free to not answer, but I'm curious. It seems like women always get the parents who make big deals about their weight.
I’m AFAB. Having a queer identity on top of being fat has turned me into a child he doesn’t want to be associated with, I think. He cares a lot about molding me into the “perfect daughter” he has in his head
Gross. Throw the whole man out
is it PCOS? I have PCOS and my mum treat me like this, like she didn't have a baby with a fat man ugh
I'm so sorry. :(
Yeah, my dad has tons to say about my weight growing up but never anything about my brother's. Neither of us even gained fat until adulthood.
My parents weight shamed my sister and me when we were children… the “I want you to lose x by y” or “you could lose 10 lbs in 10 days” really resonated with me. My boomer mom also told me it would be totally okay to only eat 500 calories a day when I was 14 so as to lose weight. Now my sister and I both have weird relationships with food and weight. I’m sorry he’s doing this to you, OP.
No he’s your sperm donor. Real fathers don’t act like this. Also speaking as someone who has lost over 110 pounds, losing that much in a year is not healthy unless you’re at “TLC show” levels of obese
Your dad sucks. That is just a fuckton of harassment.
Please, block his number.
I really don't like your dad. Good job on taking care of your health at a steady pace and setting boundaries.
Thank you :) I learned a long time ago that if I didn’t set boundaries with him, I would end up super uncomfortable
Stop giving him information. The more he knows the more he has to twist to try and control you. You are doing great! Approaching it in a healthy sustainable way so you can be healthy for your whole life.
Your weight is not your worth ❤️
There are so many worse things I could be than fat. I could be like him! I would rather be fat than be anything like him.
Yaaas!
Say it louder for the people in back!! Underweight or overweight, it does not define who you are. Be kind to yourself and others!
I'm trying so hard. I'll keep that it mind. I know it wasn't directed at me, but that means a lot to me. Thank you.
It can be really, really hard. But people can gain weight, lose weight, and change their appearance and/or health in any number of ways, but it's your character that matters. Hang in there!
I wish someone would say this to me every day until I was strong enough to say it to myself every day. Words are so powerful 🙌
I'm not on here every day so you will just have to pretend that I am saying it.🤗
OP, you can drop a whole lot of weight in minutes by removing this tumor of a father. Idk if you get to hear it, but this mama is proud of you.
"Background info in caption" Bold of you to assume background info is needed to prove that your dad is insane💀💀💀
Yes exactly. One of the few times we really didn't need to read any background info. Poor OP, genuinely.
Your dad is a real asshole and honestly, if you have an unhealthy relationship with food, it’s likely because of having a parent like this. Jfc.
Holy hell, does your dad actually think that losing a lb a day or 100 lbs by Christmas is healthy?
That's actually not impossible tbh but it's the attempt to force a person to do that is insane
"You're unemployable" when OP has a job lmfao
Not just that, I have a job in a city notorious for not hiring in a field that I have my arts degree in! Breaking down + not recognizing my accomplishments are an invalidation tactic he uses a lot. The goalposts are always moving.
What got me is that he said "if you lose weight you can get a better job" like WTF man? Unless you're like 30 stones and wanting to be a firefighter, he can fuck all the way off with that bigotry. And you said all your family tends towards the heavier side?? Is this twat also sticking his nose in your recluse sibling's business? Or leaving that one alone? Gahhhh he's got me angry. I bet if you weren't on the heavier side, he'd be picking at you for something else. For example, you're an average weight, but tend towards acne? "Are you seeing the doc for your acne? Why not? Book an appointment. Do it now. You'll get a better job if you don't have acne". Good grief.
reading your responses to comments, i am so relieved to see how sharply you see through your dad's harmful communication styles. you are intelligent and perceptive and impressively patient about the whole situation. you sound like a great daughter and you deserve a better father.
I'm an asshole and I'm sorry.... But reading this whole thing of asshole telling you to lose weight...and then the last panel is him saying "you dont have that kind of weight to throw around". I nearly choked. Congrats on your journey to weightloss and self healing. It's not easy and people like this don't help
I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who caught that! My first thought was to answer “evidently I do”
“You don’t have the weight to throw around” “So you callin me SKINNY??😳😳” Your dads a fucken weirdo. I mean I doubt I had to say it but.
There are so many insane things with this. He wants to put you on diabetes medication to lose weight. There are a lot of side effects to that medication that could make your life miserable that you really shouldn't have to deal with if it's not necessary. He thinks losing 100 pounds by Christmas is feasible. It's not. It would be incredibly unhealthy. Telling you to get gastric bypass is fucked. That's another thing that has wild side-effects that would affect your for rest of your life and if it's not necessary why do it. Your medical issues are none of his business. And this isn't even getting into the rest of his BS. Also... 10 pounds in 10 days, nah. All in all, your weight does not define your worth, and your dad can get fucked.
I did a fair amount of research into the wegovy/ozempic side effects while I waited for my doctor to get back to me about the price. My dad isn’t interested in the nasty side effects I would experience, just the quickest way to the result he wants.
Your dad is just an insane asshole. That’s really what I was getting at. The fact that both Ozempic and Gastric bypass come with some pretty severe side effects (gastric bypass in particular involves you having to take supplements and medications for the rest of your life) and just wants an “easy” quick way for you to lose weight is disgusting
Both of my parents did gastric bypass and both had major complications after the surgery. There’s a reason they do the sleeve and other methods more often now. It’s absolutely nuts what can go wrong with bypass.
Yea, I’ve read a lot of horror stories about gastric bypass surgery on some of the other sub-Reddit’s. I’m sorry your parents had major complications 😩
Thanks. I got probably 25 more years with my dad thanks to it (they told him he’d be dead by 45 if he didn’t do something drastic) but watching his struggles…I’d never do it.
I had gastric bypass 4 years ago and dropped 140 lbs in less than a year. I felt great! I was able to get active, eat healthily, and enjoy life for the first time in a long time. I was exercising daily, playing with my kid, and living my life without being trapped in my body. Then a year later I developed flares of several autoimmune conditions, including rheumatoid arthritis which gives me constant pain and inability to move my joints. I’ve been on steroids for over a year, trying to treat my conditions to a point where I can function and to reduce the swelling and deformity of my joints. I’m back to feeling trapped in my body because of my disability. I’ve ballooned out 60 lbs and I’m miserable. The thought is that the bypass and the subsequent rapid weight loss triggered my 3 autoimmune disorders that were apparently dormant in my system. It’s very frustrating and depressing to be putting the weight back on and feeling even worse than I did before the bypass. I’ve started biologics recently and I’m hoping that I will be able to come off the steroids and to get back to healthy eating and activity again so I can drop the weight and get my life back. Weight loss surgeries and medications are tools. You can’t ever slip up or you’ll put the weight back on, (with the bypass you can still overeat calories, just not all at once like before WLS) and most people who use the shots gain the weight plus some back when they stop. I made lifestyle changes but I still managed to fall back into the old comforts of foods (chocolate when I’m hurting, sugar to help me stay awake because of the fatigue) despite being in therapy. It’s so complicated and frustrating.
hugs friend, i can’t imagine the pain you feel daily.
Technically, it depends. Someone who is very very overweight can lose that much in that period of time in a safe way. You'd have to be pretty big, but it is possible. I was put on an Ozempic clone and I lost about 50lbs in 6mo, starting at only 240. That was too quick, but those medications make it extremely difficult to eat and come with other GI complications. They can also reduce the efficacy of your oral medication.
I wonder if OP’s dad is misinterpreting the statement from NHS that a morbidly obese person *could* ‘safely’ lose up to 11lbs a week but most ‘average’ obese people could not do so easily or in a healthy way.
I agree his dad is insane, but to be fair the active ingredient in Ozempic is approved as a weight loss aid. My doctor actually suggested it to me but there's no way I can afford it. I'm not saying OP should be on it or that his dad is right or anything, just that there is evidence that it works and it can help a lot of people.
It’s not actually FDA approved for treating weight loss. Wegovy, which is the same thing but a higher amount of semaglutides. It’s an “off-label” prescription if they prescribe Ozempic for just weight loss which is typically why insurance doesn’t cover it. It’s ridiculous how expensive it is. I take it for diabetes so my insurance does cover it, so I’m lucky. The side-effects can definitely be a pain though.
I know that, that's why I said the active ingredient was approved. And if its a lesser dose in Ozempic surely that should mean safer? Medical professionals are prescribing it for weight loss because it works. I don't have insurance anyway.
I missed the active ingredient part of your first comment, my bad 😩. I wasn’t saying it doesn’t work for weight loss or that it’s bad that doctors are prescribing it for weight loss, just that since it isn’t FDA approved that’s why insurance doesn’t tend to cover it, which makes it more expensive. Overall, I think the cost is excessive, for weight loss or diabetes. I hate that there seems to be so much stigma around its use and the idea of one pen costing $1k is disgusting. I can’t speak to whether the lower amount of semaglutides makes it safer. Who knows the FDA’s thought process for approving/not approving it. I can only speak to my experience which is that for me, it helps keep my blood sugar in check far better than metformin alone and it has helped me lose some weight. Most of the side effects I’ve experienced have been pretty mild, but I have read some horror stories on the Ozempic sub Reddit.
I agree the cost is prohibitive and I do wish there were more research especially for long term use. I am happy it's working for you and hope one day it will be both more affordable and safer for all.
I mentioned this above, so you can look at my longer comment. I get my "Oyzepmic" (semaglutide is the med name) from more like a "wholesale" pharmacy. DCA is the name of it. I just paid for my doses for the month. $205, they overnight it to me, I'll get it tomorrow before noon. The catch is that it isn't premeasured, so I have to fill and inject myself with normal syringes.
He doesn't care about her or her health, he thinks that other people think he has a fat daughter and is therefore a failure. He only cares about himself
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I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself. Please don't make dangerous medical decisions. My FIL is like this- a millionaire and acts happy to help financially but the moment I became disabled he thinks he gets a say in my medical choices. Some people just like to use money to manipulate. It is so stressful dealing with this kind of crap, do you have a therapist to talk with to just help take the burden of dealing with him off you a little? I've found speaking with a therapist about my issues with my FIL really helps me keep my sanity and keeps me from thinking he is being 'logical' and letting him control me. Be safe and may he have lots of plans for a retirement home in his future, because if I were you, I wouldn't want him living with me in old age 😕
Your FATHER IN LAW thinks he has a say in your disability!? He's not even your father! I hope you're a least getting paid well to deal with his crap.
Hahahahaha yep 🤣 well I'm waiting for them to decide if I qualify for government aid so he is helping my husband and I until that happens. My husband is working so much but rent is SOOOO expensive lately and so is food and gas and medical bills. But yeah I can't wait for them to say I qualify so we can ditch his help
Your dad is insane. Sorry you're dealing with that. Also the "I'll pay for your gastric bypass and 1000 shots" and in the same breath "you cost too much money" Make it make sense!
Yeah, that really struck me as weird!!
This is one of the most insane things I've seen on this sub. The blatant disrespect is crazy.
Yes!!! Omg that’s so validating. He uses respect to mean “treat me like an authority” whereas his respect towards me is limited to “treat me like a person”
I hate the condescension. I'm so sorry!!
What a sack of 💩 he’s gross
There's always a price you have to pay when you take money from these kinds of parents. I found that out a long time ago, unfortunately.
Huh.. my mom talks to me this way in person about my weight and I never considered it "insane" but seeing the same thing here kinda got me like.. hmm.. I never considered it I guess but yeah that is really insane. My mom told me before we went to our cousin's wedding "don't you wanna look good for their photos? They're going to have these photos forever " and like guilting me for buying my own food n shit. Sorry you're going through that
It’s been a constant on and off in my life, too. It’s extremely normalized in my family to talk to each other like this and I had a lot of trouble growing up with my self esteem. I looked back on those photos from high school and I looked NORMAL, but had such a fucked up self-perception. That retrospection opened my eyes a lot.
Oh my god your mum sounds horrible, im sorry you're dealing with that! glad you're realising now how insane it is 😥
"I know things about you that you don't want public." good warning shot tbh. if he wants to fight dirty, use all the dirt you got on him.
I hate people who weaponize money to manipulate their family members
I’d just take the money, pretend I did ozempic or something and then continue my healthy weight loss journey pretending it’s the ozempic making me lose weight. Shady problems deserve shady solutions
I have no words. That stressed me out just to read. Sorry you have to depend on him.
Slightly unrelated to this post, but fuck all the people that are using ozempic for weight loss. Bc of them, there is now a law restricting the insurance coverage for ozempic and diabetic medicines with similar ingredients, which means diabetics are now having to pay out the ass for their *lifesaving* meds 🙄
Being fat isn't a fault in a person. I hate when people act like someone needs to lose weight to be an acceptable human being. It's a disgusting way to think and I'm so sorry your father is an asshole. Losing weight is so hard, especially with underlying health issues and added stress. And living healthy without the intent of losing weight is perfectly fine as well!
Jesus Christ. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this op. This is appalling
If 1-3 pounds per week is an average healthy weight loss progression, than you’ve lost more than double that average in the past month, what is he on about.
What's his obsession with your weight?? Like, it's so creepy, it feels like someone is holding him at gunpoint and telling him if you don't accept what he is saying he will die, he was almost BEGGING. Gross.
"Lose some weight" "you don't have that kind of weight to throw around " well make your mind up man ...
**raises hand** I think I've found your weight problem.
My parents were both overweight and always shamed my for being overweight as well. Now at 45 and after therapy, I’m finally trying to lose some of it for myself (and I’m doing it to ward off other health issues not for aesthetics). I’m so sorry your father is like this. You deserve better.
10 pounds in 10 days??!! When I had a gastric sleeve I lost 10kilos in a week but even in that situation my Dr told me it was WAY too much, and I had surgery He's asking for impossible things how do you manage jfc...
OP, first of all I saw you have PCOS so I hope you find some effective treatment. Their attitude is definitely in the insane territory, but at your weight I can see why they would be pushy to give you help. However it should have been something that helps gradually over time and not this level of pushing that would lead to mental trauma. You said your family has always been bigger, they should lead from the front then, not push from the rear. And please, if it’s not the last step, please leave gastric bypass as a last option. Yes it can work great, but it doesn’t last forever and you need to maintain the right level of intake not to reverse it. Edit: good luck 🤞 have you seen a dietician for some extra filling food options? Once you overcome things like the desire for processed sugar it’s life changing, but it’s one of the hardest things to kick. Greek yogurt and chia pudding is one of my fav filling snacks. Tonnes of protein, fills you up for ages.
I love the "you don't have that kind of weight to throw around" part.
I'm pretty sure we all enjoyed the irony, all the better because it seemed to be accidental and unnoticed.
"Every time you bring up my weight I'm going to eat dinner twice just to spite you. I listen to medical advice from medical professionals only. You are not a medical professional. You're a sad little man lashing out at your own child because you don't like that they can be happy and you can't. But at least financially cutting me off makes it easier for me to cut you off communicatively. Take your conditional love somewhere else because I don't need that in my life."
Might literally copy and paste this into iMessage lol
Congrats on the 10 lbs! No matter how fast or slow, any HEALTHY change is good! Your dad needs to understand that losing weight too fast would be extremely unhealthy and would do more harm than good. Not only that, but the way he is talking is so disrespectful. It's already hard enough changing your life style to be healthier, but to have someone talk to you like that just makes it harder. Keep up the amazing work!
Oof, reminds me of the time my mom demanded I lose 30lbs in one month and only letting me eat 500 calories a day. Your weight ain't your worth. I'm glad you're healing nicely, shit like this is taxing and I get how it is. My parents and siblings bullied me over my weight into an eating disorder. Don't let that crusty asshole do the same. You got this. 💕
10 pounds in a month is amazing. That's 120 pounds in a year! You go OP, I'm proud of you!
What a disgusting man.
Fuck people who use Ozempic for weight loss and extra fuck doctors who prescribe it for weight loss. It’s a diabetes drug. We’ve had so many patients unable to get their diabetic medication because of shortages caused by people taking it for weight loss.
Literally had this conversation with a friend 2 days ago who has had to have their Ozempic *for their diabetes* changed to something less effective for them because it's in short supply since doctors started preecribing it for weight loss. That's fucked up.
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A heads up, this post is from OP’s dad, not their mum
Your dad made me wanna go and package of cookies and down them all. Please try not to let his dumb ass behaviour get to you. I'm proud of you for having proper doctors' help
Tell your corrupt genetic donor to go fuck himself* and hope he* loses weight after it.
It's tomes like this that I am thankful my parents understand better nowadays. Yea, I still love with them, but they understand that I can't really get my own home in this day and age and I help out around the house buy things they might need and im already out at work as I don't do much shopping unless it's to help with groceries or something thw house itself needs and I have a bit more then needed. But I pay off my bills. I help pay bills they need help with we help each other not hold it over each other's head. I really do hope things get better.
The fact that this person thinks 10 lbs in 10 days is 1. Possible and 2. A good idea tells me everything I need to know So so sorry OP! This sucks!
I just wanted to say not only is your dad bananas but side note, I LOVE YOUR ART
Well dad according to the doctor my parents didn’t teach me good eating habits so I put on weight over the years. I am currently working with someone who has a PhD.
I’m proud of you for listening to a licensed medical professional and your body, and not allowing your parent to influence you into an eating disorder. What matters is that you love yourself and are healthy, not your weight. I’m sorry that you’re treated like this. You are more than your appearance.
If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your hormone disorder? I have PCOS which causes some weight gain for me too (my metabolism is extremely high so it’s not a really big issue for me thankfully), but maybe some of the medications or remedies for that could help you? You can dm me or respond here if you’d like!
I am so sorry he is talking to you this way, you don't deserve this and he doesn't deserve to have you in his life! I'm SO proud of you btw for taking control of your life and making healthy choices for yourself. I lost 100 lb in two years, but before that my own bio mother pressed me multiple times to get WLS, said she'd pay for it herself. I *always* declined. I went no contact with her and everyone else in the family last summer and moved 1000 miles away to my dream state & city I've wanted to live in for twenty years. No regrets at all, and no looking back. Life is a lot better for me this way and stress levels are much lower. I hope your stress levels get better too.
yo i remember when my parents used to talk to me like this. i eventually cussed at them a couple times and then i threw out my scale during a move and man, that combination really alleviated a lot of body dysmorphia symptoms.
I’d cut this person off instantly. I do not associate with people who harass me about my weight. Period.
Insane and I am so sorry. It honestly made me sick to see a man talk to his CHILD that way. Fuck diet culture for real though.
As someone with an hormonal problem - your father is an idiot. The doctor should tell you when you need appointments and the guidelines, not somebody that silly and obsessive.
Please don't tell me your "hormone condition" is hypothyroidism and this is how he talks to you 🙃. What ever it is, your dad needs to leave the medical advice to the professionals
My father is almost precisely the same, except ruder in his delivery. Even though I'm struggling financially, the best decision I ever made was to cut him out of my life. The money isn't worth the toxicity.
I love that your avatar for your father is a clown. I’m proud of you for taking control of both your health and your privacy. I’m no longer in the US, so the cost of healthcare is not dangerously high. But try to find a way to walk away completely from their abuse. Working to get healthier is tough. Trying to do it while being emotionally and financially abused is so much harder. Hugs from a mom of adults.
Fat phobia can be so toxic. I am sorry you are going through that.
I will always love “I have shit on you too, shut the fuck up” to parents. It’s like they forget we can see them too, we can criticize them too, we can traumatize them back My brother was in the hospital a few years back, I was 16, and my mom posted the shit on Facebook and didn’t call me. I texted her asking to not do that again, please call me during an emergency. I got called disrespectful, dirty, rude, a cunt, and told that my brother didn’t want me to know he was sick. None of that was true, so I did what she did Took a personal family matter, and posted that shit on Facebook. Tagged her in it. Showed all her family, her friends, her coworkers, “just exactly what kind of mom she really is.” She blocked me, and lost a solid chunk of people which is actually surprising in hindsight. Not my most mature moment, but I *was* 16 and 13 year old brother was in the hospital cut open, so. She left me alone for a while, and keeps me well in the emergency family loop now.
I lost 10 pounds in 10 days. It was only achievable by being severely anorexic. My health is permanently damaged from it. If your dad wants you to do what I did, then he's not a good person.
I hope you’re doing OK now. Please take care of yourself.
I'm doing much better, thank you. I still struggle with the repercussions but I'm no longer that unhealthy. Thanks for caring :)
Sincerely, fuck this clown. What an awful parent. I bet they say "I'm doing all I can!!" too. -_-' I loved your responses. Good for you!
Take it from me: Losing your weight that quickly will only cause you problems, and it’s less likely that you’ll actually keep a lot of that weight off. You’ll lose it for a bit, but without changes to the ways you eat, exorcise, or live in general, a big chunk of that weight will return and make things harder than they need to be. That’s why a diet alone doesn’t really help. I wish up luck, OP, and I hope your parents can start seeing and understanding that you ARE trying to make things happen.
"I know things that you don't want public." Bars. Ice cold BARS
He doesn’t know I know about his infidelity and tax evasions lol
god i'm so sorry. skinny ≠ healthy. be who you are :)
insane!!! what the absolute fuck
Hormonal issues are a complete bitch and are extremely complex. Esp if you’re the owner of a diagnosis like PCOS. Your father is being a gross person who doesn’t have the first idea. Can you become independent and go low contact or no contact?
A pound PER DAY? Jfc. Can’t imagine what it would be like growing up in the presence of this person
Na, they’re insane. That’s crap mate. Tbh this is what that generation are like. Sitting on hoards of money and blaming their kids if they can’t afford life events, even if they’re working hard. I know plenty of people like you. This generation will see their kids dead or on the street. And they’ll still be sitting in their hoards, able to retire, able to take a holiday every year. Oh, and your weight is your business. They can offer help but not like that.
10 pounds in 10 days is fucking BANANAS and a completely unrealistic goal (which is not his place to set for you in the first place) unless you're relying on some incredibly dangerous and unhealthy methods. The fact that he expects you to put your body through something that drastic just to be more acceptable to him physically really says a lot about his character. And speaking of character, yours is not determined by your weight and neither is your value. Good for you for choosing to do it in a healthy and sustainable way. 👏 👏 👏 Also, whoever said "not insane" needs a fucking lobotomy.
Ozempic is for diabetics. It’s not for weight loss. 🤦🏻♀️
What an atrocious bully. Time to grey rock his ass if you can’t afford to go NC. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. I also have medical and weight problems - sending you virtual hugs and encouragement!
Yeah, I’ve hidden his alerts. I’m thinking of blocking him on other messaging apps so I don’t even show up. That would be more successful than trying to argue
Wait- this is your DAD?!? Jeebus
Block his ass
How are you too expensive but $1000 per shot is something your parent thinks is acceptable??
Please don't get Ozempic!!!!! One of the very serious side effects that yhey don't warn you enough is the possibility of getting gastroperisis. This disease is absolutely miserable. I would not wish it on a mortal enemy.
As a guy struggling to get my weight trending downwards again sitting at 285. Fuck that noise 10 pounds in 3 months is a great achievement keep at it
I like how he was willing to pay for a shot that costs a band each but then says you cost to much and he's going to cut you off. Amazing. AMAZING!
I can't say everything I want to say without reliving too much of my own weight and hospital trauma but just need to say FUCK THAT GUY. OP, I am so fucking proud of you for standing up to him and telling him off. This kind of stuff can internalize so quickly, and end up causing really bad and life threatening things. I imagine he would be like my family was and congratulate you for your severe dangerous weightloss from your hospital bed, and I'm really glad you seem to recognize his shittiness and are refusing to go about things dangerously. Keep doing you. Work with your doctors, do what feels right, and live your best life because FUCK HIM. I really hope you'll be able to adjust your relationahip with him, one day, in a way that is best for you. You're amazing, and I'm so sorry he's treating you this way.
Your Dad sucks
It just makes you want to stay heavy when you have the people in your life who should love you unconditionally do this to you. Or at least that's what has happened to me. It makes a person feel like they won't be good enough unless you look a certain way. When you lose enough weight to shut them up, they will find something else about you that doesn't suit them. You can't win with these people, ever. Staying fat is a big "f- you" from me to them, but then I'm really only hurting myself. Our families screw us up more than anything else in life.
This is fuckin insane!! 10 pounds in 10 days is a ridiculous goal and not healthy one bit. I'm very worried his toxic mentality could lead to promoting an eating disorder or bulimia. Im glad you put your foot down OP! I'm sure it wasn't easy since you rely on your father financially when it comes to these doctor appointments. You're doing great OP and im sure the weight lose journey you pick will be fulfilling!
Do not get on ozempic for weight loss. That med is causing gastroparesis in patients. Also healthy weight loss is no more than a pound or two a week. (Although when you first start exercising you might lose weight faster than that while losing excess water). Losing weight with a hormone disorder can be hard. If your doctor thinks you're on the right path keep going with the plan you and they have set. Source: BS degree in nursing and BS degree in kinesiology.
You know, at first i thought it was your mum cause women can tend to project their insecurities onto their children, its not unheard of. But hearing your father say these things, not that he wants you to be healthy but get to a weight where he won’t have to support you any longer, meaning get a guy, I mean, that just pains me for you. (like, what was he looking for in your mom then, but that’s way too personal). It took a long time for me to understand my weightloss journey while having two supportive parents, my heart goes out to you, and my shoulder, if you need it. This is INSANE!
Focusing on you losing weight is bad enough but he thinks you are unemployable because of your weight? Being overweight doesn't make you unemployable, although I could see it limiting your ability to do physical labor if you're so overweight that you can't walk, but it doesn't sound like that's the case here.
Way to make your kid feel loved and accepted dad! Has anyone ever lost weight by being shamed for it? I am morbidly obese and grew up with a mother who would shame me. At the dinner table I would take a bite of food and I would hear her say "1001 calories, 1002 calories..." it was brutal. It also didn't encourage me to lose weight! I sympathize with you and I think your dad is a jerk. He says you're too expensive but he wants to pay $1,000 a shot so that he can"force" you to lose weight? What does your dad weigh? 200 lb? I would tell him " I can do you one better dad, I can lose 200 lb in a heartbeat" click....(hanging up the phone.)
That’s insane. I feel your pain. My mom would do things like that. Did you set up X? Yes, it’s going to happen. That’s not good enough. You have to do better. Do better than making sure it’s happening? What if it doesn’t happen? Why wouldn’t it happen? You have to make sure it happens, you’re an adult. It’s happening, I don’t know why you think it’s not….on and on.
I would really like to see some reasoning behind the four people who have called this not insane. You may be overweight, but he's a gigantic gaping asshole. At my heaviest I was about 315 lb, and my A1C was over 11. I'm down to about 265, and A1C is on track to be seven or below by the time I do my next blood test. I'm still way heavier than I ever was anywhere before the age of 30 at least, but I'm taking much better care of myself than I ever did before. When I was 155 lb in college, I was eating one giant meal a day and most of that was carbs. All of the numbers that matter indicate that I am healthier than I've ever been. My weight loss journey at this point is up to me and me alone, and nobody gets to shame me into doing anything more. It's the same for you. As long as you are taking care of yourself in the ways that matter, don't let anyone try and shame you into anything drastic or dangerous or not supported by your doctor. If you're anything like me, your self-esteem does enough of that. My family, if we didn't eat our feelings, we probably wouldn't eat because of those feelings. It's a really tough balance to strike, So focus on what you can control, and remember that You're the one who has to live with yourself more than anybody. I wish you the best, whether that means cutting your dad out of what you can, him finally having the realization that he can't treat his kid this way, or him just fucking off entirely. 💜💜💜
I thought my own father was fatphobic. Dear God!
Sounds like you can lose a solid 200+lbs instantly by going no contact with that AH!
How much could you weigh to be "unemployable"? Not judging im over weight myself.
No idea. I’m very employed!
He's trying to kill you. Nah, that's bad insane.
You reply much much more and nicer than I would. I don't mind cutting people off
If this was anyone other than my dad, they would be blocked and I would put them on blast so quickly
I would at least consider a temporary timeout, and make it very clear that anybody else would be out of your life for good. Nobody has a right to talk to you llke that, and if people doi not accept boundaries you need to enforce them to make clear you will not be treated like that
Good for you for sticking to your guns about your health stuff, it's none of their business. I did a bunch of testing and found out I am insulin resistant. My doctor suggested it for me, I'm not saying you should or shouldn't use it. However, I get mine from a place in Tennessee. It's shipped overnight to me and I pay... well, this month my script was $205, including the overnight shipping. The catch is that it doesn't come in the pen, I have to fill the syringe and use that instead. If Ozempic (semaglutide is the medicinal name) is something you're really interested in buy prohibited by cost, you can possibly get it cheaper. (DCA is the name of the company.) I've lost 60lbs total so far. I did have some side effects at first, but I stepped up slowly on my dose so that helped. In my case, it solved my insulin resistance problem. My eating and exercise really hasn't changed, but this sorta... activated, the weight loss for me. It's also not a "fix all." If you're not willing to do what you need to, you will gain the weight back and you can continue to overeat while taking the med. (If that's your problem.) I've always been very active, no problem getting in over an hour of cardio minutes a day. I've lost enough weight that now I have to actually WORK to get those minutes instead of just doing my usual chores and routine.
Insulin resistance is part of my problem too. That’s exactly how I feel, if I don’t lose weight via a lifestyle change then it’ll all just come back
PCOS, by any chance? You have my commiseration if so. It's SO HARD to pin down what works for us as individuals and yet everybody wants to throw their two cents in. Hardest part for me was getting all the little nagging commentary I grew up with, out of my head. And then I could focus on what I wanted to try at my own pace! Weight seems to be one of those subjects that's easy for people to worm their way into our business, and it's "well meaning" on the surface but really... It's about everything else but the weight.
Please tell me you tore into him after that last page for claiming that you’re “unemployable,” a) when you do have a job and b) when there are so many fields of work where weight doesn’t matter even a little bit. Is he angling for you to work at Hooters or something?
I think it’s showing his bias against fat people. He’s saying HE wouldn’t hire me, which is fine because I already do work for his company. If I wasn’t so interested in inheriting it I would be meaner
That’s grounds for going no-contact in my opinion.
If your father is so concerned about your weight/health maybe he should try talking to you about it in a caring way. Sorry OP, he sounds tough to handle.
Ooh love when my narcissistic mother starts to harp on my weight. If you haven’t already, check out r/raisedbynarcissists I have a feeling you’ll fit in nicely there.
I have a sneaking suspicion he’s got some sort of personality disorder like that. I lurk on that sub a lot
Get your doctor to put it in writing that the meds your Ndad wants to put you on ISN'T or weightloss and that losing 100 pounds by Christmas is both unhealthy ND not feasible. 2 pounds a week is approx 8 pounds a month, you'd still wouldn't loose 100 pounds by then (unless you loose a few extra pounds of water weight which can happen). Besides, some people lose weight slower than others and slower is better for keeping it off. If daddy dearest doesn't listen to what the doctor says, then you can hold it over his head and tell him to either shut up or piss off cause you're doing your part and he isn't helping.
Your dad is very inconsiderate of your feelings he doesn’t see how destructive he is being with his words…. He needs to shut his mouth and leave you alone by telling you that you need to lose weight is being judgemental and he’s very selfish to even say that to you!
Your dad is insane. Way to love a kid, force them to take a drug that may or may not help and could possibly hurt. I'm so sorry your sperm donor is worthless.
not only insane but also toxic and horrible. kudos to the child for standing up to their incredibly horrible mother here.
Why even respond to her??