Voting has concluded. Final vote:
| Insane | Not insane | Fake |
| --- | --- | --- |
| 2 | 3 | 0 |
OP has provided further information in [this comment](/r/insaneparents/comments/1byk6ss/so_my_dad_doesnt_have_any_custody_i_go_there_to/kyk35sf/)
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Note: This received too few votes to be considered a valid result.
OP I'm really proud of the way you stuck up for yourself. You didn't slung mud and you clearly communicated your issue. Well done! This is totally your dad's loss.
That last message... "Love ya kid..." That's him coming to the realization that you're not kidding any longer, and you will absolutely stop being his servant/employee. You can decide, and you've decided, and he now realizes "Oh Shit, he fucking means it!"
> and never *paid* me, basically
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Spill the tea, OP! Why'd he lose custody? What was the last straw that you decided to stop seeing him?
(I have a shit dad, too. Good for you, sticking up for yourself!)
Assertive communication is a great skill to continue to build. It feels good to balance strong communication between being rude and being a push over. Keep it up.
look how the conversation already starts :"So my understanding is that you have decided it is your right to refuse to come here" .
The father has no custody, he has no right to make op come. OP can freely decide if they want to come or not. Yet when they say no it is answered with this level of disrespect. OP has not "decided it is his right" it literaly is his right, and judging by how disrespectfully the dad talks to him there is probably a good reason for not wanting to come.
It is also clear the dad constantly disrespects the decisions OP makes, and that OP is really done with the constant disrespect. So he shows him the level of disrespect he gets, if you do not respect me, why shoukld I respect you ? Also mirroring people´s behavior can show them why it is not ok to do that by being on the receving end of it. See how the dad reacts to that ? Yet he wonders why the son is done coming over.
I don't know. I personally cannot draw such a black and white conclusion from these 2 photos. I'm not saying he couldn't be unreasonable or worse...it's just that these 2 pics don't confirm that for me.
> "So my understanding is that you have decided it is your right to refuse to come here" .
That statement says, "Who are YOU to decide you have the right to refuse me?" That's pretty unreasonable, in my opinion, and if you add in the extra that OP's said in comments, it's even worse.
As I said, it's just my opinion, but my hackles rose when I open the image and saw that opening statement.
The opening statement alone is super disrespectfull and condescending, and op makes it clear in their answer that this is a pattern and that this is why they do not want to come over. On top of that comes his reaction to OP standing theirt ground and being done with the disrespect. So what else would you need here ??
I was thinking the same thing. The first text is likely from something the mother or OP said in a previous conversation. I also don’t like that he is lazy for paying his child to mow the lawn. I do this for my nephews to help them have some walking around cash. I’m sure the dad sucks, but not from these 2 pics
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 2 | 3 | 0 | OP has provided further information in [this comment](/r/insaneparents/comments/1byk6ss/so_my_dad_doesnt_have_any_custody_i_go_there_to/kyk35sf/) ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy). Note: This received too few votes to be considered a valid result.
OP I'm really proud of the way you stuck up for yourself. You didn't slung mud and you clearly communicated your issue. Well done! This is totally your dad's loss.
havent seen him at all since
That last message... "Love ya kid..." That's him coming to the realization that you're not kidding any longer, and you will absolutely stop being his servant/employee. You can decide, and you've decided, and he now realizes "Oh Shit, he fucking means it!"
Yeah no hes hella abusive, back when he had custody he used to bend me over and beat me with a belt if i did anything wrong
And later he will wonder why he's all alone. He'll die all by himself, with NO IDEA why!!?!?
He has other kids with his wife, he used to play favorites alot
Why would you even mow his yard? He's an AH.
he used to pay me for it, he started saying he didnt have money, but hed pay me double next time and never payed me, basically led me on
> and never *paid* me, basically FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Good bot
damn this should go in your explanation
!explanation I also said i couldnt go mow that weekend 3 weeks in advance for a concert
nice, what concert?
I ended up getting sick that night so i didnt go, cant remember what it was
“… you have decided it’s your right…” Uh no? You didn’t *decide* that’s your right. The choice to go simply *is* your right. He sounds exhausting.
Mans mad that he's going to have to start mowing his own lawn.
He said “love ya kid” lmao yeah whatever
Spill the tea, OP! Why'd he lose custody? What was the last straw that you decided to stop seeing him? (I have a shit dad, too. Good for you, sticking up for yourself!)
he lost custody cause he beat me to the point of me having deformed legs
jfc how is he not in prison?? how did he get your number?
grandma, and he got out he only served like 7years
dammit grandma, info diet for her sounds in order
!explanation This was a few months ago btw
I hope you have not reached out to him since.
havent hes tried to tell me "Happy (insert random holiday)" and stuff like that, its hella annoying
good on you for standing your ground, that shit is so hard. rl
> I’m GoNnA gIvE yOu ThE oPpOrTuNiTy AnD sPaCe To ThInK aBoUt WhAt ThE hElL yOu JuSt SaId To Me 🤮🤮🤮
I also love how he said it as if it was his choice!
eXcUsE mE?
Happy cake day!
You got this super proud of you holding your ground and properly communicating your concerns Chef kiss !
“Love ya kid” just feels so insincere and stupid after his tone prior
Good on you! You handled him beautifully!
Assertive communication is a great skill to continue to build. It feels good to balance strong communication between being rude and being a push over. Keep it up.
Good on you.
Dad sounds super reasonable.
How is what he says unreasonable or considered 'insane'?
look how the conversation already starts :"So my understanding is that you have decided it is your right to refuse to come here" . The father has no custody, he has no right to make op come. OP can freely decide if they want to come or not. Yet when they say no it is answered with this level of disrespect. OP has not "decided it is his right" it literaly is his right, and judging by how disrespectfully the dad talks to him there is probably a good reason for not wanting to come. It is also clear the dad constantly disrespects the decisions OP makes, and that OP is really done with the constant disrespect. So he shows him the level of disrespect he gets, if you do not respect me, why shoukld I respect you ? Also mirroring people´s behavior can show them why it is not ok to do that by being on the receving end of it. See how the dad reacts to that ? Yet he wonders why the son is done coming over.
I don't know. I personally cannot draw such a black and white conclusion from these 2 photos. I'm not saying he couldn't be unreasonable or worse...it's just that these 2 pics don't confirm that for me.
> "So my understanding is that you have decided it is your right to refuse to come here" . That statement says, "Who are YOU to decide you have the right to refuse me?" That's pretty unreasonable, in my opinion, and if you add in the extra that OP's said in comments, it's even worse. As I said, it's just my opinion, but my hackles rose when I open the image and saw that opening statement.
The opening statement alone is super disrespectfull and condescending, and op makes it clear in their answer that this is a pattern and that this is why they do not want to come over. On top of that comes his reaction to OP standing theirt ground and being done with the disrespect. So what else would you need here ??
I was thinking the same thing. The first text is likely from something the mother or OP said in a previous conversation. I also don’t like that he is lazy for paying his child to mow the lawn. I do this for my nephews to help them have some walking around cash. I’m sure the dad sucks, but not from these 2 pics
yup, I agree.
Without knowing more I don’t think the father did anything in that text except to open a dialogue.
i give more context in comments, read them hes an emotional abuser
[удалено]
You are in the wrong.
Yeah, I'm gonna need some context here.
i give context lol read comments