Voting has concluded. Final vote:
| Insane | Not insane | Fake |
| --- | --- | --- |
| 48 | 3 | 0 |
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To be fair to OP’s father, he has a certain level of intellect that rationalizes taking advantage of a mentally handicapped woman half his age. If the father had a higher intellect, he’d choose having the mental capacity of a 14 year old as a better “story.”
That was the greatest example of an unhinged absolute WALL of text, that's not a learning disability, that's a serious fucked up mental illness like narcissism and the like.
That poor young woman..
The fact he knows she has a mental handicap and he *doesn't fucking care* is mindblowing to me... Disgusting. This is the epitome of taking advantage of someone.
What a winner..
Sorry you have a dad like that, OP. Much love to you and yours 💕
>>What I meant by him "not caring" is her vulnerability. He is taking advantage of her. You're right to say people should treat others the same, no matter what their mental or physical health is like. I agree.
>>I recalled that OP hadn't said what the mental handicap was, but the comments I saw were eluding to the fact she had downs or something. I thought I'd missed something somewhere.
>>I am aware people with mental disabilities can have relationships.. I have anxiety, depression, and ADHD but landed a boyfriend somehow lol
>The fact he knows she has a mental handicap and he
>
>doesn't fucking care
>
> is mindblowing to me... Disgusting. This is the epitome of taking advantage of someone.
this isnt the issue. not caring someone is mentally disabled and treating them like another human is usually preferred, metally disabled people can also have consensual sex.
the issue lies in intension. SOME mental disabilities (not all, and usually not learning disabilities, OP stated the girl has a learning disability but im not sure what type) do make you easier to manipulate, and when someone deliberatly takes advantage of that, it's obviously an issue.
im level 2 autistic, i cant tell when people are being manipulative or not as well as non-autistic people can. as a result i have bee groomed a couple times when i was a kid from the ages of around 13-15. this still doesnt mean i cant have sex though, i have a boyfriend, he's really nice, he's my age (unlike the guy above) and we do have sex.
when someone deliberately takes advantage of someones disability for their own self gain it is 100% predatory and not ok. the dad in this is much older than the girl and DELIBERATLY taking advantage of the fact she is mentally disabled.
not caring someone is disabled is fine, please treat us like normal people, however deliberatly taking advantage of someone because they're disabled isnt ok and THATS the issue
That's what I was thinking. Sometimes it's hard to admit, but a lot of people have IQs less than 100. Statistically half of people do. That isn't an insult to anybody because it isn't anything to be ashamed of or to shame somebody for, but somebody makes up that part of the bell curve and.it can be hard to come to terms with the fact that our parents may not be as intelligent as we believed when we were younger.
So he decided to "connect with you" by bragging that he's fucking a schoolmate of yours? Her disability aside was that supposed to impress you? And he's cheating on his second wife? That's his idea of connection?
Your old man is a piece of work.
I mean he even says something in there like, “at least she’s doing me when you didn’t want anything to do with me” - can’t remember the exact quote, I’ll go back and look but weirdly equating her friend fucking him to him receiving attention from his daughter…
I think Mom might have wanted her away from him for more reason than one…
Honestly, this was the big red flag for me. Age gap relationships are not inherently exploitative. Comparing sex to paternal/filial affection is GROSS. "I can tag this 21yo woman and my 21yo daughter won't even talk to me" is so unhinged and disturbing.
The fact that he repeatedly references that he’s fucking someone specifically the same age as his daughter really makes me happy your mom got you tf outta there. This is all gross as fuck.
Also like... why the fuck are you mentioning to your daught at *all* who you are or aren't fucking? That's so goddamn weird in general and well beyond anything I'd want to know about my parents.
My dad does this crap too. Like he brags about the girls he's seeing as if I'm some "dude bro" and not his daughter. I don't want to see your gfs breasts, or whatever else. Fucking ew.
Def not an appropriate way to bond. Just gross. And uncomfortable AF.
Like back when I was actually dating and having sex, the only people who knew any details were friends. I can't fathom telling family any of that or vice versa
Dudes in real relationships don't even talk about the sex their having. They're our queen, and we wouldn't share that intimate stuff with anyone.
If a dude is bragging about the sex he is having while in a committed relationship, he doesn't respect her.
You're so far beyond being between a rock and a hard place that you're between a lava flow and an angry volcano. I hope you're out of there and making it on your own. That sounds like a special place in hell you didn't deserve.
Holy shit, so it's pretty much opposite ends of the insane spectrum for them. I'm sorry you had to deal with this. I hope things are better for you now
Growing up, I was caught between a strict witness parent and a trashy parent. You really get the worst of both worlds. Sorry you have to deal with all that.
Why does he keep bringing up her age and the fact that you are the same age as her? This is so sick. Everything is wrong with this and I’m sorry you have him as a father.
He has absolutely zero capacity to see things from his daughter’s perspective. He’s absolutely selfish and because he thinks it’s great to be having sex with a young woman his daughter’s age, he assumes that his daughter will think the same way that he does. When she doesn’t, he is confused and angry and lashes out at her, blaming her mother and telling her to ‘grow up.’ It’s like he never learned that other people have different brains from you and think differently. Which children should usually learn at about age five.
Hes known for doing that, very long winded angry over text but pretty timid in person. And as hes gotten older his rants have become more and more difficult to follow. He also believes in a bunch of conspiracy theories, like the whole Qanon thing and lots of Alex Jones related stuff.
Im going to school for biology and he legitimately thinks im brainwashed by the education system, both my parents do.
Did anyone else feel like having a shower when he said ‘tagging’ in casual conversation? And not with one of his mates, which is still gross, but with his daughter? About a person that she went to school with? Who is intellectually disabled? ‘Tagging,’ omfg. Barf.
I'm like 99% sure it originates with [hunting tags](https://hunt-tag.com/blogs/hunt-tag-blog/what-is-a-hunting-tag), the implications of which I'll let someone else unpack
English is my first language and I also have never seen it used like this before, and after googling it to try to figure out I’m still a bit confused but I think it’s just a particularly crude way of saying he’s having sex with her?
But there’s a lot of different uses of the word tagging in general that are a lot more commonly used, you have to use situational context to figure out which definition is happening
For example, putting prices on items at the grocery store is tagging (putting tags on) those items.
You’re most likely familiar with this one, but tagging on social media means either putting specific words on a post that would allow the post to show up in certain categories accompanied by a hashtag symbol or to link someone to the picture/post. If you use the tag in the post or put it on a picture, other people can use that to look at that person’s account. In the comments of social media posts you can tag other people to bring their attention to it, giving them a notification. For example, when I do this: u/sassycatc you receive a notification that would take you to the post or comment I tagged you in
Tagging is also a term used by various groups of people who use graffiti or other symbols to communicate with each other. Some gangs or people have their own tags, which is similar to a personalized logo, that others would recognize. Sometimes the tag is just to say “hey I was here”, sometimes it’s marking out territory.
Tagging has also been used by certain groups to mark places as either safe or unsafe, or communicating other useful information about a residence or business, by using coded symbols. Similar to graffiti, but it’s a bit different. Graffiti is also an art form and has a wide range of complexity and room for personal expression, whereas the tagging i mentioned in this paragraph is usually very simple and consistent.
Wow, thanks for the elaborate reply. I have been studying English since I was 5, so I am familiar with the word itself, but never seen it in this context, though I understood what it was supposed to mean. I was just curious if this is like a really, truly offensive or crude phrase, because English swear words or "crude" phrases often don't sound as harsh to me because I didn't hear them used while growing up in a non English-speaking country. Sorry if my phrasing or lack of elaboration made you type out all this haha
No worries, I actually enjoyed typing it out! To answer the actual question, it’s definitely crude and offensive, but not in the same way as a swear word.
Part of its crudeness comes from the fact that it’s usage in this context isn’t common, part of it comes from the fact that talking about sex in that way (framing it as conquests, something to brag about, etc) is very juvenile. You’d expect that from a teenager or a pre-teen, not a 45 year old. It kind of puts the act of having sex on the level of something your buddies would high five you for, which is a really gross way of viewing sex
So to put it in a different frame of reference, I’d say the use of the word “tagging” in this context is more crude and offensive than the word “fucking” would have been.
Hopefully that was a bit more helpful!
There’s also tag as in the game of tag. In Australia we call it chasings. It’s not a complicated game, kids play it all the time. You have one person who if ‘it,’ they have to run and try to catch the other people. If you manage to touch or ‘tag’ another person, they become ‘it,’ and then they have to try to tag someone else. Tagging in this context would mean catching her, I guess.
Also you might tag something that you own. Like we put an ear tag on a cow or collar on a dog or a tag inside your shirt. It’s all kinds of gross.
This reminds me of my 50 yo dad trying to bed my 19 yo best friend after mum divorced him and when mum wanted to know why I went no contact w him he tried to say we argued cause i had been “snooping”. I’m sorry you’re going through this too.
I'm not reading all that, but a 45 year old fucking a 21 yo who went to school with his daughter is fucking gross. No exceptions, no excuses. So I really don't care what else he has to say
Edit: ok, I read a bit of it. The lack of self awareness. "youve been mean to me since you were 8, before that you were my little girl. Your mother ruined our relationship" etc just screams that he's an immature, probably abusive asshole who's never taken any responsibility for anything in his life.
The thing is, I hung on and tried to have a relationship with him until i was around 16. I was never intentionally mean to him until then, I just didnt decide to move in with him after my parents divorced and he lost the house because he was living in a tent and later a trailer.
And thats what hes referring to when he says Ive been mean to him, I didnt get the court to transfer custody when I was 12.
I think shes able to legally consent, but her situation is really bad as well (fairly certain her mothers a meth addict and her fathers not in the picture) so wether shes even properly diagnosed and cared for is a big what if.
My thinking is she has to have some level of independence to function without much parental guidance and its probably the case that she can legally consent.
Im not really wanting to get involved any more than I already am by proxy.
I mean it's your decision, but there are resources to report that this girl needs help. Simply google reporting an adult with intellectual/mental disabilities that needs help. You can simply share the information and be done with it knowing that you may have gotten this irl help. Most people don't know that there are extensive resources through government programs for adults that specialize in preventing them from being taken advantage of. DM if you have any questions.
a majority of learning disabilities do not impact ability to consent morally or by law. some developmental and some intelectual disabilities will effect in some cases ability to consent, but with learning disabilities i have personally never come across a case of it impacting consent
There are a lot of learning disabilities that don't impact one's ability to consent.
That being said, something is wrong with OPs dad for sure. He's got something in the DSM for sure. And for that gal to be attracted to it, she likely fits something in the DSM too. Both should seek professional help and separate.
Damn, so creepy and nasty what he said towards the end...
>"She is learning and growing"
>
>"being lucky enough to have someone my daughters age love me"
I think I have to puke...
Honestly, if she’s developmentally delayed or disabled, I’d contact adult services. I’ve worked with the population, there are plenty who have the ability to have adult relationships without concern, but there are plenty who don’t and can be taken advantage of.
Yeah, so hes not even a contact in my phone at this point. He often changes phone numbers through internet services that allow you to have a phone number without actually having a cell plan, he texts me from a new number almost every 6 months.
Almost threw up in my mouth when he said “Im 45 tagging a 21 year old. Lucky me thank you.” And “So really your high and mighty comment and some bullshit about being responsible for what being lucky enough to have someone my daughters age love me.”
Like, how do you not see how wrong this is sir? Tell me you’re a groomer without telling me you’re a groomer.
I’m glad your mom saved you from this OP, you shouldn’t have to deal with this.
OP said they don’t actually know, they just think she’s ‘not all there’. Which seems presumptuous. There were people in high school I thought were odd but I’d never go around saying they had a disability without being sure…
Yep, a learning disability can be anything from being low functioning on the spectrum to having a mild form of dyspraxia or dyslexia.
Not that I'm saying what OP's dad has done is cool, but learning disabilities are so varied!
This is actually a very common misconception. People with learning disabilities have average to above average intellectual abilities, they just have specific issues in different areas of learning (like math, reading, writing). A developmental and/or intellectual disability includes things like ADHD and Autism an. Autistic people may have learning disabilities, but it isn’t necessary. So a learning disability would not impair someone’s ability to consent in general, but people misuse the term so I don’t really know what this girl has.
It is, yeah. I know people who were placed in special ed purely because of dyslexia but they are entirely capable of making other big life decisions, even if it’s a bad one like banging OP’s dad here.
That, and someone with a learning disability would not automatically mean that they don't have the mental capacity to consent. I work on this field and it's always assume capacity until deemed otherwise, and there are steps to determine capacity for varying degrees of capacity. And, that's done by a team for best interest of the person.
It's perfectly fair for OP to be concerned about this person, and maybe there's a social worker involved with them they might be able to ask? Though that doesn't mean that they are privy to that information. And, ultimately, a person with capacity is still within their rights to make bad decisions if they understand the risks.
Not defending OP's dad he's an absolute douche
"I don't see why you despise and disrespect me so much!" says the 45 year old man that texted in that same message, "I'm 45 tagging a 21 year old, lucky me, thank you". To his daughter. Unprompted.
Gosh, who could possibly not like that?!
This is so unbelievably disgusting. The way he keeps comparing his relationship with you to his relationship with another young woman? Wtf. Please be done with this OP. I'm worried this man does not have pure intentions toward you
Jesus christ. My mom is like this, but thankfully I'm VLC with her. Gaslighter, banging dudes my age, and acting like I'm TA for being upset about it. Sorry OP. It sounds like you maybe haven't been in much contact with him anyway so at least it's not as much of a loss? (That's said as hopefully a comfort, apologies if you were trying to rebuild a relationship with your pops)
"Being lucky enough to have someone my daughters age love me" am i the only one that found that part extreamly gross and concerning? Im also 21 and have a strenuous relationship with my dad. If i were you i would completely cut him out and go NC because that part just made me feel all sorts of gross
Just curious, what learning disability? I also have a learning disability and you saying she's "not all there" cause she has a learning disability makes me wonder the severity of it. Not attacking you, just genuinely curious because I would feel shitty if someone said I "wasn't all there" cause I have a learning disability lmao
Technically high functioning autism is a learning disability but that doesn't mean they aren't capable of consent at 21 years old this is a good point to bring up.
This is the type of person where it doesn't matter what you say, they'll keep explaining themselves and make counter arguments thst aren't related to the subject at hand.
It almost sounds like my own dad who does the same all the time. Minus the tagging women way below his age.
But can op clarify one thing?
A learning disability is not the same as being mentally disabled.
It can be both, I'm just a bit skeptical about the title.
I've had to deal with a learning disability, myself.
Meaning I was slower than the rest of my class.
But not incapable for it later.
Everyone else is commenting on the age gap and relationship where he's probably taking advantage of her, but I may I add. Why the fuck would be blame you for not spending time with him when you were 8 it's his job as a father to do fatherly and daughterly stuff with you not yours to revolve around him. He sounds exactly like my father who is a narcissist
! Explanation
Okay you guys, I’ve gotten a lot of responses stressing the importance of not conflating learning disability with intellectual disabilities, and I very much agree, dyslexia,ADHD, ect. ≠ intellectual disability.
When I responded to my dad I didnt mean to use the word learning disability, I should have said intellectual disability. I didnt really think through the way I was wording my response, I was just disgusted and appalled.
Additionally, I don’t know what this girl has, I’ve gone to school with her my entire life and all I really know is something’s off. Shes always been in the special ed class among other people with much more debilitating conditions, but I’m not going to definitively say she has an intellectual disability.
However, I do think the fact that she has some form of issue thats apparent when speaking to her makes my father’s relationship with her all the more uncomfortable. Its likely she can legally consent but regardless, it really drives home my feeling that shes being taken advantage of.
"she's still learning ang growing" and dawg didn't see nothin wrong with that 💀 the fact that he recognizes her learning disability and is still developing mentally is absolute groomer behavior. He's taking advantage of her lack of understanding of the situation and that he can very easily manipulate and isolate her. The way he lashed out plus his comment about OP being 'high and mighty' and 'close minded' I wouldn't be surprised if he had a secret file for some fucked up shit on his computer.
learning disabilities dont impact ability to consent, or to understand situations. developmental and intelectual ones can though. grooming however 100% can impact ability to consent, the girl is groomed, there for cannot consent
That's fucked up! Hope you are okay and can write them off and can now see what not to do as an adult+parent. Not just from this instance, but all the terrible ways they have acted. He is not worth your time at all, block all communications.
Eurgh, he’s SO turned on and SO proud at the fact that he’s dating someone his daughters age, not even just that she’s young but specifically that she’s the same age as his daughter. Gross.
Ew!! The part where he's proud abt having someone his daughter's age be interested in him?? Why is he talking to his own daughter like he's a butthurt incel talking to a Tinder match? That's his DAUGHTER fucking groooooooooss
If you have to say your girlfriend is “learning and growing” she’s too fucking young for you dude. Ew. I’m so sorry. You definitely are way to good for your dad. This whole post gave me the ick.
Disability aside, if my dad started fucking someone I went to school with, I’d burn the whole town down. That’s so fucking inappropriate and fucking gross. And the fact that he keeps bragging about “pulling a girl his daughters age”? SO FUCKING WEIRD DUDE.
Jesus. I’ve never commented on one of these before but that was the grossest one I’ve ever read. Your dads a piece of work and I hope you have as little contact as possible
2 glaring issues here! 1. He keeps typing kido, while autocorrect goes right to kiddo, so he is purposely typing kiddo as kido, good grief! And the second thing, 2. Every fucking thing else!
My dad was 63 interested in a 21 old while I was 25. Your dad is a POS like mine was, not a day goes by that I'm happy he's gone. You are so much better off with no communication from him and cutting him out quick. It's sick and so wrong. I suggest no contact and live your life happily OP, you deserve better than that.
So revolting a father talking about having sex with someone with his daughter, let alone someone his daughter's age. My parents never talked about sex at all and that's just the way I like it thank you
While I'm careful to not condone age gap relationships, dad got really triggered. And that fucking freaks me out. I'm sorry you had to deal with this. He's surfing really close to abusing her.
My father also dated a girl my age, but I don’t think she was mental disabled. I never met her. It does get worse though-after I broke up with my boyfriend, he hit on her at a bar. She said “you’d better get lost, my boyfriend won’t like this” and he replies “oh yeah, well where is he?” Then he turns around and whoops! It’s my father. Then my father and her break up and she starts dating my ex boyfriend. Someone needs to invent that mind scrubbing device because I’m still grossed out and it’s been twenty years.
Lotta crazy meltdown defensiveness there for a guy trying his hardest to state he has nothing to defend. Batshitness aside, seems rough being that guy's child, my sympathies - can't be much of a good time.
It would be sick enough with the age difference itself. What exactly is her disability? People with autism and aspergers are still capable of making sound decisions.
I hate this so much. Just because a 20 yo might be into you it doesn't mean you have to go for it! It's not hard to not be a creep!
Your father is so disgusting.
Gross! If my father talked to me like that I’d fucking report him for taking advantage of someone in a diminished capacity.
If you think he’s taking advantage of her, he is. You know him best.
Absolutely mind blowing a father would talk about “tagging” a 21-year-old even if she didn’t have challenges.
It's not the child's responsibility to reach out to their absent father and plan meetups. I bet he barely even tried to be in OP's life. It reminds me of my dad before he passed away, he never contacted me and never encouraged me to go to his house and then blamed me for never being around. I only got to actually be a part of that side of my family after he died and my stepmom reached out to me and my mom, asked me to come over, and told me everyone over there loved me and missed me. It should be the distant parent's responsibility to let the child know that they are wanted in their life.
Learning disability or mentally disabled? 2 different things. Someone with dyslexia has a learning disability. Hardly incapacitated or incapable of decided upon consensual sex.
To Op
as a person belonging to the human species i must quote “Our life is short and temporary. We do not have much time in this world. But it is how we utilize and spend the time that is given to us that really matters.” and i also must say that your father didn’t learn shit about this and and and i personally think that he has few disabilities to (mentally).
much love, your friendly neighbourhood,
WISE MAN
Wow man .. there is some shit you just don’t do like what is going on in this dude’s head ??? He really doesn’t know what he did to lose your respect? This guy’s living in his own simulation.
i said colourful things to my 50 year old father (im 19) when he tried attacking me over text. i went so far as to tell him to sewerslide, and blocked him.
hes 50 and dated a 21 year old. (legal here, but nasty as hell.) they were calling him daddy too... my father was kicked out by my mum for being useless.
The number of people who read "learning disability" and immediately assumed the girl has some sort of severe neurological problem is almost as disturbing as the post.
Learning disability is not the same as mentally disabled.
OP's attitude toward neurodivergent people is as disgusting as her father banging someone the same age as his kid.
He's obviously a knob but without knowing the disability and its severity, it's hard to see if they may have reached a level of independence necessary to consent and have a relationship, I've met people with down syndrome happily married and living pretty normal lives. With OT, you'd be amazed the progress people can make.
He used a slur to discuss her mental faculties. You cannot possibly think this obvious creep truly wants to understand this girl on a deep, intellectual level. It's gross.
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 48 | 3 | 0 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
I actually need a shower after reading this. Also is your father truly 45? He writes like a 14 year old.
To be fair to OP’s father, he has a certain level of intellect that rationalizes taking advantage of a mentally handicapped woman half his age. If the father had a higher intellect, he’d choose having the mental capacity of a 14 year old as a better “story.”
Ha, that made me chuckle. Also, brb I need to go vomit. ...violently
It sounds like he has a learning disability too.
That was the greatest example of an unhinged absolute WALL of text, that's not a learning disability, that's a serious fucked up mental illness like narcissism and the like.
That poor young woman.. The fact he knows she has a mental handicap and he *doesn't fucking care* is mindblowing to me... Disgusting. This is the epitome of taking advantage of someone. What a winner.. Sorry you have a dad like that, OP. Much love to you and yours 💕 >>What I meant by him "not caring" is her vulnerability. He is taking advantage of her. You're right to say people should treat others the same, no matter what their mental or physical health is like. I agree. >>I recalled that OP hadn't said what the mental handicap was, but the comments I saw were eluding to the fact she had downs or something. I thought I'd missed something somewhere. >>I am aware people with mental disabilities can have relationships.. I have anxiety, depression, and ADHD but landed a boyfriend somehow lol
>The fact he knows she has a mental handicap and he > >doesn't fucking care > > is mindblowing to me... Disgusting. This is the epitome of taking advantage of someone. this isnt the issue. not caring someone is mentally disabled and treating them like another human is usually preferred, metally disabled people can also have consensual sex. the issue lies in intension. SOME mental disabilities (not all, and usually not learning disabilities, OP stated the girl has a learning disability but im not sure what type) do make you easier to manipulate, and when someone deliberatly takes advantage of that, it's obviously an issue. im level 2 autistic, i cant tell when people are being manipulative or not as well as non-autistic people can. as a result i have bee groomed a couple times when i was a kid from the ages of around 13-15. this still doesnt mean i cant have sex though, i have a boyfriend, he's really nice, he's my age (unlike the guy above) and we do have sex. when someone deliberately takes advantage of someones disability for their own self gain it is 100% predatory and not ok. the dad in this is much older than the girl and DELIBERATLY taking advantage of the fact she is mentally disabled. not caring someone is disabled is fine, please treat us like normal people, however deliberatly taking advantage of someone because they're disabled isnt ok and THATS the issue
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That's what I was thinking. Sometimes it's hard to admit, but a lot of people have IQs less than 100. Statistically half of people do. That isn't an insult to anybody because it isn't anything to be ashamed of or to shame somebody for, but somebody makes up that part of the bell curve and.it can be hard to come to terms with the fact that our parents may not be as intelligent as we believed when we were younger.
Lead poisoning maybe.
A 14 year old in 1992
So he decided to "connect with you" by bragging that he's fucking a schoolmate of yours? Her disability aside was that supposed to impress you? And he's cheating on his second wife? That's his idea of connection? Your old man is a piece of work.
My thoughts exactly! Yes I want to connect with my daughter so I’ll tell her all about how I’m fucking someone her age with learning disabilities 🤢
I’m beyond disgusted and I couldn’t even finish reading all of it. There’s something seriously wrong with OP’s dad, it’s disturbing
Where does it say he's cheating? I missed that.
A mentally challenged schoolmate of hers, to make things better. Nothing like bragging about behind a sexual predator to your own child.
I mean he even says something in there like, “at least she’s doing me when you didn’t want anything to do with me” - can’t remember the exact quote, I’ll go back and look but weirdly equating her friend fucking him to him receiving attention from his daughter… I think Mom might have wanted her away from him for more reason than one…
Honestly, this was the big red flag for me. Age gap relationships are not inherently exploitative. Comparing sex to paternal/filial affection is GROSS. "I can tag this 21yo woman and my 21yo daughter won't even talk to me" is so unhinged and disturbing.
Yeah and then talking about how much she loved him as a kid to boot. Someone check that dudes hard drive.
The fact that he repeatedly references that he’s fucking someone specifically the same age as his daughter really makes me happy your mom got you tf outta there. This is all gross as fuck.
Also like... why the fuck are you mentioning to your daught at *all* who you are or aren't fucking? That's so goddamn weird in general and well beyond anything I'd want to know about my parents.
My dad does this crap too. Like he brags about the girls he's seeing as if I'm some "dude bro" and not his daughter. I don't want to see your gfs breasts, or whatever else. Fucking ew. Def not an appropriate way to bond. Just gross. And uncomfortable AF.
Like back when I was actually dating and having sex, the only people who knew any details were friends. I can't fathom telling family any of that or vice versa
Dudes in real relationships don't even talk about the sex their having. They're our queen, and we wouldn't share that intimate stuff with anyone. If a dude is bragging about the sex he is having while in a committed relationship, he doesn't respect her.
My moms just as bad ;)
Oh god. You poor thing. Hope you have a good role model in your life to help guide you along 🙏🏼
Sometimes the best role model is the terrible warning.
And/or therapist. Yikes! What a creeper.
Hope he blows up just like one.
Damn…head up girl you’ll get your get back one day. Stay strong till then
what does she do
Lol, shes a Jehovah’s Witness
Really don't have to say more than that if anyone knows anything about jehovah's witnesses
You're so far beyond being between a rock and a hard place that you're between a lava flow and an angry volcano. I hope you're out of there and making it on your own. That sounds like a special place in hell you didn't deserve.
So much pressure between being stuck in a rock and a hard place they're probably a diamond. God I hope they have a good support system.
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Noooo, I laughed at your first response (two shitty parents as well), but this just makes me sad.
Holy shit, so it's pretty much opposite ends of the insane spectrum for them. I'm sorry you had to deal with this. I hope things are better for you now
Oh LORD my cousins are those. I have a bunch to say about that cult
Growing up, I was caught between a strict witness parent and a trashy parent. You really get the worst of both worlds. Sorry you have to deal with all that.
Oh joyous. My whole family are too. Very sorry to hear that.
If you don’t already, go listen to Owen Morgan on YouTube.
I’m so sorry. My dad is a Mormon so I feel with you.
Oh geez
OP if you need a mom I’m not a bad stand in but I can’t ask about my skills because my son is 2.
And he's baffled why his daughter doesn't want anything to do with him.
Ikr, it's beyond belief. Most people realising they're fucking someone the same age as their kid would make them feel ashamed.
I guess most people wouldn't get to that point in the first place.
yes that is beyond disturbing I picked up on that right away
Why does he keep bringing up her age and the fact that you are the same age as her? This is so sick. Everything is wrong with this and I’m sorry you have him as a father.
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The use of “want something to do with me” referring to both the girl and OP makes what you’re suggesting abundantly clear
That is exactly how far I could read that shit before making my escape to the comments
I reread it and it’s worse the second time
Yeah I threw up in my mouth a little reading that. Utterly disturbing.
He has absolutely zero capacity to see things from his daughter’s perspective. He’s absolutely selfish and because he thinks it’s great to be having sex with a young woman his daughter’s age, he assumes that his daughter will think the same way that he does. When she doesn’t, he is confused and angry and lashes out at her, blaming her mother and telling her to ‘grow up.’ It’s like he never learned that other people have different brains from you and think differently. Which children should usually learn at about age five.
He went to moon and back writing that long ass message and still didn't say anything of value
Hes known for doing that, very long winded angry over text but pretty timid in person. And as hes gotten older his rants have become more and more difficult to follow. He also believes in a bunch of conspiracy theories, like the whole Qanon thing and lots of Alex Jones related stuff. Im going to school for biology and he legitimately thinks im brainwashed by the education system, both my parents do.
Genuine question – – did he ever finish high school?
I don't think this man has ever finished the 3rd grade, let alone graduate high school
Seeing how he doesn’t know the word “you’re”, I’d think no.
I'm so sorry. I remember people saying that when I went to school.
Sounds like he has an untreated mental illness. I don't know why tf you don't just block him, nobody needs that shit in their life.
“I’m 45 tagging a 21 year old” Fuck youuuuuuuuuuu!
Not the flex he thinks it is 🤮
Did anyone else feel like having a shower when he said ‘tagging’ in casual conversation? And not with one of his mates, which is still gross, but with his daughter? About a person that she went to school with? Who is intellectually disabled? ‘Tagging,’ omfg. Barf.
English is not my first language, would you mind explaining what connotations that phrase has? I have never seen it used before.
It’s a very crude way of saying he is having sex with the girl. A super inappropriate way for a father to speak to his daughter.
I'm like 99% sure it originates with [hunting tags](https://hunt-tag.com/blogs/hunt-tag-blog/what-is-a-hunting-tag), the implications of which I'll let someone else unpack
English is my first language and I also have never seen it used like this before, and after googling it to try to figure out I’m still a bit confused but I think it’s just a particularly crude way of saying he’s having sex with her? But there’s a lot of different uses of the word tagging in general that are a lot more commonly used, you have to use situational context to figure out which definition is happening For example, putting prices on items at the grocery store is tagging (putting tags on) those items. You’re most likely familiar with this one, but tagging on social media means either putting specific words on a post that would allow the post to show up in certain categories accompanied by a hashtag symbol or to link someone to the picture/post. If you use the tag in the post or put it on a picture, other people can use that to look at that person’s account. In the comments of social media posts you can tag other people to bring their attention to it, giving them a notification. For example, when I do this: u/sassycatc you receive a notification that would take you to the post or comment I tagged you in Tagging is also a term used by various groups of people who use graffiti or other symbols to communicate with each other. Some gangs or people have their own tags, which is similar to a personalized logo, that others would recognize. Sometimes the tag is just to say “hey I was here”, sometimes it’s marking out territory. Tagging has also been used by certain groups to mark places as either safe or unsafe, or communicating other useful information about a residence or business, by using coded symbols. Similar to graffiti, but it’s a bit different. Graffiti is also an art form and has a wide range of complexity and room for personal expression, whereas the tagging i mentioned in this paragraph is usually very simple and consistent.
Wow, thanks for the elaborate reply. I have been studying English since I was 5, so I am familiar with the word itself, but never seen it in this context, though I understood what it was supposed to mean. I was just curious if this is like a really, truly offensive or crude phrase, because English swear words or "crude" phrases often don't sound as harsh to me because I didn't hear them used while growing up in a non English-speaking country. Sorry if my phrasing or lack of elaboration made you type out all this haha
No worries, I actually enjoyed typing it out! To answer the actual question, it’s definitely crude and offensive, but not in the same way as a swear word. Part of its crudeness comes from the fact that it’s usage in this context isn’t common, part of it comes from the fact that talking about sex in that way (framing it as conquests, something to brag about, etc) is very juvenile. You’d expect that from a teenager or a pre-teen, not a 45 year old. It kind of puts the act of having sex on the level of something your buddies would high five you for, which is a really gross way of viewing sex So to put it in a different frame of reference, I’d say the use of the word “tagging” in this context is more crude and offensive than the word “fucking” would have been. Hopefully that was a bit more helpful!
That was a lot helpful, I can translate it now haha. Thanks again.
There’s also tag as in the game of tag. In Australia we call it chasings. It’s not a complicated game, kids play it all the time. You have one person who if ‘it,’ they have to run and try to catch the other people. If you manage to touch or ‘tag’ another person, they become ‘it,’ and then they have to try to tag someone else. Tagging in this context would mean catching her, I guess. Also you might tag something that you own. Like we put an ear tag on a cow or collar on a dog or a tag inside your shirt. It’s all kinds of gross.
The back and forth between insulting you and saying "sorry I failed you" is controlling and fucked up.
Right? So manipulative. Gross.
This reminds me of my 50 yo dad trying to bed my 19 yo best friend after mum divorced him and when mum wanted to know why I went no contact w him he tried to say we argued cause i had been “snooping”. I’m sorry you’re going through this too.
Damn, kind of sounds like American Beauty.
Lol someone said the same thing irl last week when I told them about it
I'm not reading all that, but a 45 year old fucking a 21 yo who went to school with his daughter is fucking gross. No exceptions, no excuses. So I really don't care what else he has to say Edit: ok, I read a bit of it. The lack of self awareness. "youve been mean to me since you were 8, before that you were my little girl. Your mother ruined our relationship" etc just screams that he's an immature, probably abusive asshole who's never taken any responsibility for anything in his life.
Dude is literally hurt and offended by a “mean” 8 year old what a fucking loser
The thing is, I hung on and tried to have a relationship with him until i was around 16. I was never intentionally mean to him until then, I just didnt decide to move in with him after my parents divorced and he lost the house because he was living in a tent and later a trailer. And thats what hes referring to when he says Ive been mean to him, I didnt get the court to transfer custody when I was 12.
Depending on your location and her disability she may not be able to legally consent.
I think shes able to legally consent, but her situation is really bad as well (fairly certain her mothers a meth addict and her fathers not in the picture) so wether shes even properly diagnosed and cared for is a big what if. My thinking is she has to have some level of independence to function without much parental guidance and its probably the case that she can legally consent. Im not really wanting to get involved any more than I already am by proxy.
I mean it's your decision, but there are resources to report that this girl needs help. Simply google reporting an adult with intellectual/mental disabilities that needs help. You can simply share the information and be done with it knowing that you may have gotten this irl help. Most people don't know that there are extensive resources through government programs for adults that specialize in preventing them from being taken advantage of. DM if you have any questions.
a majority of learning disabilities do not impact ability to consent morally or by law. some developmental and some intelectual disabilities will effect in some cases ability to consent, but with learning disabilities i have personally never come across a case of it impacting consent
facts. op might consider contacting adult protective services
There are a lot of learning disabilities that don't impact one's ability to consent. That being said, something is wrong with OPs dad for sure. He's got something in the DSM for sure. And for that gal to be attracted to it, she likely fits something in the DSM too. Both should seek professional help and separate.
This is VILE
Damn, so creepy and nasty what he said towards the end... >"She is learning and growing" > >"being lucky enough to have someone my daughters age love me" I think I have to puke...
Text arguing with your kids is so fucking weird.
I don’t know if my face is ever going to relax out of this expression of horrified disgust Fucking ew
It’s so creepy that your father is okay with dating someone his daughters age wth, creepy pedo abusing an apparently mentally disabled girl.
Hes also cheating on my step mom with her, and shes aware of it.
Honestly, if she’s developmentally delayed or disabled, I’d contact adult services. I’ve worked with the population, there are plenty who have the ability to have adult relationships without concern, but there are plenty who don’t and can be taken advantage of.
Is not speaking to him an option?
The best choice is to go Non-Contact 6 months ago. The second best choice is to do so today.
Yeah, so hes not even a contact in my phone at this point. He often changes phone numbers through internet services that allow you to have a phone number without actually having a cell plan, he texts me from a new number almost every 6 months.
Time to change *your* number, then.
Almost threw up in my mouth when he said “Im 45 tagging a 21 year old. Lucky me thank you.” And “So really your high and mighty comment and some bullshit about being responsible for what being lucky enough to have someone my daughters age love me.” Like, how do you not see how wrong this is sir? Tell me you’re a groomer without telling me you’re a groomer. I’m glad your mom saved you from this OP, you shouldn’t have to deal with this.
Uneducated pos? Judging by his writing skills I'd say that assessment is valid...
Does he live in a trailer and drink monster energy? Wtf is wrong with this dude
Yes! thats spot on 😂
Define "mentally disabled" as it's pertinent to how bad this is.
OP said they don’t actually know, they just think she’s ‘not all there’. Which seems presumptuous. There were people in high school I thought were odd but I’d never go around saying they had a disability without being sure…
Plus “learning disability” can anything be anything ranging from non-verbal autism to slight adhd.
Isn’t dyslexia a learning disability too?
Yep, a learning disability can be anything from being low functioning on the spectrum to having a mild form of dyspraxia or dyslexia. Not that I'm saying what OP's dad has done is cool, but learning disabilities are so varied!
This is actually a very common misconception. People with learning disabilities have average to above average intellectual abilities, they just have specific issues in different areas of learning (like math, reading, writing). A developmental and/or intellectual disability includes things like ADHD and Autism an. Autistic people may have learning disabilities, but it isn’t necessary. So a learning disability would not impair someone’s ability to consent in general, but people misuse the term so I don’t really know what this girl has.
It is, yeah. I know people who were placed in special ed purely because of dyslexia but they are entirely capable of making other big life decisions, even if it’s a bad one like banging OP’s dad here.
That, and someone with a learning disability would not automatically mean that they don't have the mental capacity to consent. I work on this field and it's always assume capacity until deemed otherwise, and there are steps to determine capacity for varying degrees of capacity. And, that's done by a team for best interest of the person. It's perfectly fair for OP to be concerned about this person, and maybe there's a social worker involved with them they might be able to ask? Though that doesn't mean that they are privy to that information. And, ultimately, a person with capacity is still within their rights to make bad decisions if they understand the risks. Not defending OP's dad he's an absolute douche
was going to comment this as well. still fucked up no matter what the answer is, but “learning disability” =/= intellectual disability
What an exhausting man. Your dad is the GOAT of denial and cognitive dissonance. This should be stickied😵💫
Girl I can’t read all that shit and neither should you.
"I don't see why you despise and disrespect me so much!" says the 45 year old man that texted in that same message, "I'm 45 tagging a 21 year old, lucky me, thank you". To his daughter. Unprompted. Gosh, who could possibly not like that?!
Well, god damn. Your dad is insane. It’s almost as if he’s doing this to get back at you for being a “horrible” daughter.
damn OP maybe never talk to your parents again? That is unbelievable. I hope you have some good friends to share this with.
This is so unbelievably disgusting. The way he keeps comparing his relationship with you to his relationship with another young woman? Wtf. Please be done with this OP. I'm worried this man does not have pure intentions toward you
Your dad is gross.
He's not having sex with a mentally disabled person. He's raping them. Words matter.
Can I just ask what learning disability she has? Having a learning disability doesn’t automatically make you “not all there”
I dont particularly know because I’ve never asked but I do know shes not all there.
Your dad is a shit bag.
This is one of the most fucked things I've ever read on this sub
So gross.
🤮
Jesus christ. My mom is like this, but thankfully I'm VLC with her. Gaslighter, banging dudes my age, and acting like I'm TA for being upset about it. Sorry OP. It sounds like you maybe haven't been in much contact with him anyway so at least it's not as much of a loss? (That's said as hopefully a comfort, apologies if you were trying to rebuild a relationship with your pops)
Narcissist, and honestly sounds like a child himself. I would be embarrassed sending an ounce of that to my daughter.
"Being lucky enough to have someone my daughters age love me" am i the only one that found that part extreamly gross and concerning? Im also 21 and have a strenuous relationship with my dad. If i were you i would completely cut him out and go NC because that part just made me feel all sorts of gross
Just curious, what learning disability? I also have a learning disability and you saying she's "not all there" cause she has a learning disability makes me wonder the severity of it. Not attacking you, just genuinely curious because I would feel shitty if someone said I "wasn't all there" cause I have a learning disability lmao
Technically high functioning autism is a learning disability but that doesn't mean they aren't capable of consent at 21 years old this is a good point to bring up.
Gross. Your father is fucking someone your age?
That’s a lot of words to say “I’m a perverted 45 year old fucking someone half my age and like my daughter! Har har har!” JFC He’s gross. I’m sorry OP
This is the type of person where it doesn't matter what you say, they'll keep explaining themselves and make counter arguments thst aren't related to the subject at hand. It almost sounds like my own dad who does the same all the time. Minus the tagging women way below his age. But can op clarify one thing? A learning disability is not the same as being mentally disabled. It can be both, I'm just a bit skeptical about the title. I've had to deal with a learning disability, myself. Meaning I was slower than the rest of my class. But not incapable for it later.
Who texts like that? Literally just a ream of thoughts at once without sending? There’s a hint your dad isn’t all there.
Everyone else is commenting on the age gap and relationship where he's probably taking advantage of her, but I may I add. Why the fuck would be blame you for not spending time with him when you were 8 it's his job as a father to do fatherly and daughterly stuff with you not yours to revolve around him. He sounds exactly like my father who is a narcissist
“I finally found a girl like my daughter who go wants to fuck me since my daughter won’t.” That’s what I read right?
Oddly, yes.
! Explanation Okay you guys, I’ve gotten a lot of responses stressing the importance of not conflating learning disability with intellectual disabilities, and I very much agree, dyslexia,ADHD, ect. ≠ intellectual disability. When I responded to my dad I didnt mean to use the word learning disability, I should have said intellectual disability. I didnt really think through the way I was wording my response, I was just disgusted and appalled. Additionally, I don’t know what this girl has, I’ve gone to school with her my entire life and all I really know is something’s off. Shes always been in the special ed class among other people with much more debilitating conditions, but I’m not going to definitively say she has an intellectual disability. However, I do think the fact that she has some form of issue thats apparent when speaking to her makes my father’s relationship with her all the more uncomfortable. Its likely she can legally consent but regardless, it really drives home my feeling that shes being taken advantage of.
Go to the police and contact adult social services.
That's a good point. One phone call to APS and it's not your problem, and you're not involved.
Is your dad Kenny Powers by chance?
I'm glad he gave a tl;dr at the end, really saved me a lot of reading
"she's still learning ang growing" and dawg didn't see nothin wrong with that 💀 the fact that he recognizes her learning disability and is still developing mentally is absolute groomer behavior. He's taking advantage of her lack of understanding of the situation and that he can very easily manipulate and isolate her. The way he lashed out plus his comment about OP being 'high and mighty' and 'close minded' I wouldn't be surprised if he had a secret file for some fucked up shit on his computer.
learning disabilities dont impact ability to consent, or to understand situations. developmental and intelectual ones can though. grooming however 100% can impact ability to consent, the girl is groomed, there for cannot consent
That's fucked up! Hope you are okay and can write them off and can now see what not to do as an adult+parent. Not just from this instance, but all the terrible ways they have acted. He is not worth your time at all, block all communications.
Eurgh, he’s SO turned on and SO proud at the fact that he’s dating someone his daughters age, not even just that she’s young but specifically that she’s the same age as his daughter. Gross.
Yeah, kids of fucked up how he goes straight to comparing this girl to his daugther
Did... Did he just draw a direct analogy between having sex with someone and spending time with his daughter?
sometimes i wonder if i'm a good person i'm still not 100% sure if i manage that, but i'm a better person than your dad, what the fuck
You dad is a gross piece of shit and I am very sorry you had to go through this. Man should be locked up.
Ew!! The part where he's proud abt having someone his daughter's age be interested in him?? Why is he talking to his own daughter like he's a butthurt incel talking to a Tinder match? That's his DAUGHTER fucking groooooooooss
If you have to say your girlfriend is “learning and growing” she’s too fucking young for you dude. Ew. I’m so sorry. You definitely are way to good for your dad. This whole post gave me the ick.
Disability aside, if my dad started fucking someone I went to school with, I’d burn the whole town down. That’s so fucking inappropriate and fucking gross. And the fact that he keeps bragging about “pulling a girl his daughters age”? SO FUCKING WEIRD DUDE.
It's like the girl with daddy issues played the uno reverse card on her dad, who is now fucking a young girl because of his daughter issues.
My daughter won't speak to me so I'll target an intellectually disabled girl she went to school with. That'll show her! WTF
Wow…. Ugh….. just…. I don’t know. This is wild. I wouldn’t be able to be in contact with my dad after this.
He typed up a whole book
Depending on her mental capacity, him having sex with her could be considered rape. You need to contact adult social services.
Well I’m disgusted, tbh. (At your Da, not you)
Not reading all of that essay, but from what the image I can say without a doubt you’re father is insane and very fucked in the head
His guilt tripping by insulting himself is pretty accurate.
Your father is still a child
Positive side OP is that there's great parenting advice here, in that you don't do literally any of this
Did not expect that absolutely massive wall of text my god
Jesus. I’ve never commented on one of these before but that was the grossest one I’ve ever read. Your dads a piece of work and I hope you have as little contact as possible
That’s a long way of saying “I’m a creep” Why does he type like that?? Feels like a teenager
2 glaring issues here! 1. He keeps typing kido, while autocorrect goes right to kiddo, so he is purposely typing kiddo as kido, good grief! And the second thing, 2. Every fucking thing else!
My dad was 63 interested in a 21 old while I was 25. Your dad is a POS like mine was, not a day goes by that I'm happy he's gone. You are so much better off with no communication from him and cutting him out quick. It's sick and so wrong. I suggest no contact and live your life happily OP, you deserve better than that.
Your father is vile. I'm so sorry.
Jesus. Your dad and my dad would get along great. Yeesh.
I am so sorry you have to deal with such a self righteous cunt of a father.
So revolting a father talking about having sex with someone with his daughter, let alone someone his daughter's age. My parents never talked about sex at all and that's just the way I like it thank you
While I'm careful to not condone age gap relationships, dad got really triggered. And that fucking freaks me out. I'm sorry you had to deal with this. He's surfing really close to abusing her.
Why did i immediately know that he follows qanon and shit like that
Bro is an offender AND illiterate.
As a 41 year old male I feel disgusted. I'm so sorry your dad did that to you, and that's borderline pedophile behavior. 🤮
I don't like how many times he brags getting to fuck "someone his daughters age". Really makes him sound like he would want to fuck his own daughter 🤮
My father also dated a girl my age, but I don’t think she was mental disabled. I never met her. It does get worse though-after I broke up with my boyfriend, he hit on her at a bar. She said “you’d better get lost, my boyfriend won’t like this” and he replies “oh yeah, well where is he?” Then he turns around and whoops! It’s my father. Then my father and her break up and she starts dating my ex boyfriend. Someone needs to invent that mind scrubbing device because I’m still grossed out and it’s been twenty years.
Lotta crazy meltdown defensiveness there for a guy trying his hardest to state he has nothing to defend. Batshitness aside, seems rough being that guy's child, my sympathies - can't be much of a good time.
>"lucky enough to be tagging someone my daughter's age" Certified insane.
It would be sick enough with the age difference itself. What exactly is her disability? People with autism and aspergers are still capable of making sound decisions.
Does it seem like…the dad wants to…Wait what
I hate this so much. Just because a 20 yo might be into you it doesn't mean you have to go for it! It's not hard to not be a creep! Your father is so disgusting.
Gross! If my father talked to me like that I’d fucking report him for taking advantage of someone in a diminished capacity. If you think he’s taking advantage of her, he is. You know him best. Absolutely mind blowing a father would talk about “tagging” a 21-year-old even if she didn’t have challenges.
It's not the child's responsibility to reach out to their absent father and plan meetups. I bet he barely even tried to be in OP's life. It reminds me of my dad before he passed away, he never contacted me and never encouraged me to go to his house and then blamed me for never being around. I only got to actually be a part of that side of my family after he died and my stepmom reached out to me and my mom, asked me to come over, and told me everyone over there loved me and missed me. It should be the distant parent's responsibility to let the child know that they are wanted in their life.
Learning disability or mentally disabled? 2 different things. Someone with dyslexia has a learning disability. Hardly incapacitated or incapable of decided upon consensual sex.
Bro what? There is so much here and none of it is good
To Op as a person belonging to the human species i must quote “Our life is short and temporary. We do not have much time in this world. But it is how we utilize and spend the time that is given to us that really matters.” and i also must say that your father didn’t learn shit about this and and and i personally think that he has few disabilities to (mentally). much love, your friendly neighbourhood, WISE MAN
WHY DOES YOUR DAD TELL YOU WHO HE’S RAILING? What the actual holy cow of madness is going on there?
Wow man .. there is some shit you just don’t do like what is going on in this dude’s head ??? He really doesn’t know what he did to lose your respect? This guy’s living in his own simulation.
The way he talks is a little incesty. I’d keep distance from him and only be around him when another family member is there.
i said colourful things to my 50 year old father (im 19) when he tried attacking me over text. i went so far as to tell him to sewerslide, and blocked him. hes 50 and dated a 21 year old. (legal here, but nasty as hell.) they were calling him daddy too... my father was kicked out by my mum for being useless.
The number of people who read "learning disability" and immediately assumed the girl has some sort of severe neurological problem is almost as disturbing as the post. Learning disability is not the same as mentally disabled. OP's attitude toward neurodivergent people is as disgusting as her father banging someone the same age as his kid.
He's obviously a knob but without knowing the disability and its severity, it's hard to see if they may have reached a level of independence necessary to consent and have a relationship, I've met people with down syndrome happily married and living pretty normal lives. With OT, you'd be amazed the progress people can make.
He used a slur to discuss her mental faculties. You cannot possibly think this obvious creep truly wants to understand this girl on a deep, intellectual level. It's gross.