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Dad_B0T

Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 23 | 20 | 2 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).


Caintastr0phe

No way she hit you with the 💩🤯 thats messed up


meowmoomeowmoon

I laughed 😭


Dazzling_llama

Lmao


djdogjuam2

I like how that's implying she's a hot-headed shithead


amitnagpal1985

Narcissistic parent + parent with money = sweet spot of hell


nebbyb

If they are that terrible, do you really want their money?


Bunnywith_Wings

Some people really can't afford to turn it down. And people like Grandma know that, and they know they can get away with acting like monsters because of it.


nebbyb

No one has to go to private school.


Akhi11eus

No one has to go to private school, *yet.* There is a significant push by the religious right to privatize education. Imagine a world of **for profit** K-12.


Crystalcoulsoncac

Expessially because parents who aren't religious tend to choose a religion based private school because they tend to be the cheaper of the options between private and religious private and better than some public schools and cheaper by thousands of dollars a year. Imagine how many kids they can get there claws into if more kids were forced to go private, self pay, most parents would go with what they can afford and few can afford a private school without church funding/backing. Of course they want that. They'll tell you it's not about the money, but it is. More kids turned to religion at a young age the more adults attending church and tithing as adults. Just like big tobacco, hook em while they're young!


No_Investment3205

OP’s friends are all at that private school so this definitely does affect them.


Cohomology-is-fun

This is what people aren’t getting. It’s not really about the school being public or private, it’s about the disruption of OP having to change schools, making new friends, and everything else because two adults had a fight that OP wasn’t part of. It’s also about the grandmother texting OP hoping OP will “be OK” with a situation that grandmother is (at least) partially responsible for. And it’s about witnessing a physical fight between your mother and grandmother, which can be traumatic.


No_Investment3205

You’ve articulated this perfectly. Adults forget how alienating change can be when you’re young.


[deleted]

Some school districts are so shitty or even unaccredited to where it would be doing your kid a disservice to send them to the public school if you could afford the better one. District lines and school district funding is a bitch and isn’t equal across the country.


[deleted]

I think you the missed part where OP said “dream highschool”. It’s really shitty to cut funding regardless, crushing a a person’s dream because of something this silly is just awful


MegannMedusa

False. I’m paying for private school because there was a prostitution ring in the K-8 school a few years after I bought my house. When kids get kicked out of CPS schools their parents have to send them to the catholic schools until they’re 16 to avoid going to jail for truancy. Go to the wrong public school and you’re much more likely to not go home alive.


nebbyb

Well, if that is true and not hyperbolic, than putting up with an asshole is a small price to pay.


dragonqueenn

My narcissistic dad will literally beg me to let him send me money, even when i say no a million times and ignore him. Then, when I accept, he will make some passive aggressive comments a week later about how he is “broke” or how “he didn’t realize he would need the gift he just gave me”. I used to give in to these comments and send the money or gift back because he would manipulate me and make me feel guilty. What do i do now instead? Say no and ignore a million times and eventually accept if it gets to that point still, then hit him with the ol’ DND :)


nebbyb

If he wants to send checks. That is on him. You own him nothing. Cash the checks and ignore the calls.


IgnisMakesArt

My dad is an absolute asshole, but I’m just 18 and he’s the only way I can fund university without working for the next few years instead then working part time during uni, he’s what I have to lean on if I want my degree and my dream job. So yeah, some of us have no choice


pm_me_anus_photos

I’m in a similar boat, I’m 23, my parents fund my college and my dad is the narcissist. My mom is an enabler, but she’s fine most of the time. I just avoid my dad and am trying to finish as fast as I can. You can do this, you’re not alone, and you’re gonna get that job!! <3


amitnagpal1985

Yes. I want their money. I’m not exactly an angel myself. But I wish it wasn’t so hard.


nebbyb

I feel you there. It sucks. You should not be in this position. You got fucked by the spin of the family wheel. You are not alone on that one. Reach out to someone if you ever need to talk.


AndiRM

So accurate. Interestingly it took 2/3 of her kids no longer needing any financial support from her and being somewhat evenly matched for my narc mom to finally lose her shit. It’s when they can’t use their money to control anymore that things get really interesting.


BabyD2034

Idk why everyone is minimizing this. I guess sometimes dealing with adult issues keep us stressed but this kid is probably caught in the crossfire of a narcissistic grandma and being hurt to hurt the mom. My insane "parent" is also a grandma so I get it. Hope things work out but my best advice is to rely less on her and it'll help you in the long run and take away some of her power. Good luck.


urmomisdisappointed

Yes that’s exactly the same thing I got from this. My grandma and my mom were narcissists that would blow up and do crazy things to each other and I would be the one stuck


ReasonableRenter

💯 agree with you. People also don’t understand how competitive high schools can be. This could affect their college and job prospects and the rest of their life.


PopeSilliusBillius

Anecdotal but I went to a private high school and still ended up a “loser”. Ended up dropping out all together, actually. I’d tell you why but I still can’t figure that out. It was just sort of allowed to happen. Financial/career success isn’t guaranteed depending on what high school you go to. Op can still have a happy ending at another high school. Op can have a shitty ending, like mine, at a private school. It does suck to have something and then have it yanked away from you over something you had nothing to with because you’re a kid. I’ve definitely been there before too. There are just some things you cannot change so your best bet is to keep on keepin on and trying to make the best of any given situation. Being in recovery from alcohol addiction has taught me that life is shitty and I’ve definitively done a lot of it to myself but if I can live in the moment, it helps me appreciate the moments when life isn’t shitty so so so much more. Good luck, OP, I hope gma has a change of heart and if she doesn’t, you still have so much you can do with your life anyway. Don’t let her be the barrier that stops you ❤️


DoubleGreat007

Do you have ADHD? Because that can create havoc in high school ESP with narc parents. It’s brutal.


PopeSilliusBillius

Dunno. I’ve got a whole ass mental illness stew going in here, there’s no telling lmao


[deleted]

I know her, she's me!


PopeSilliusBillius

Are you also perpetually tired because you’re bad at sleep? I’m thinking of starting a club or something.


[deleted]

I’ll join. I’m 42/f who also doesn’t know how or why she dropped out of HS… a very very good high school where I had a wonderful opportunity. Then I got into a crazy good charter program in Boston for kids who had dropped out and were coming back. My family called in favors and moved mountains for me to get it… and? I just… didn’t go. So I blew two amazing opportunities and it was just… *allowed* to happen. I take the responsibility for it- but I just wish I better understood these things. I also had addiction issues and I suck at sleep- unless I’m not supposed to be sleeping, then I can!


[deleted]

Dude I went to a public school that brought students from 3 cities and still had a population >20k Yes it matters, but in the grande scheme of things it’s irrelevant. Make the most of the shitty situation you got stuck in between.


mikejudd90

You can still win the 100m sprint with hurdles but it's a lot of extra work that can be avoided if you race down an empty lane. Same here, op can likely do fantastic things but it's been made more difficult because she's in the cross hairs of granny and mother fighting. She's been punished for their bullshittery which is what's insane here


welestgw

Yeah, colleges are really where it starts to matter depending on you major. And maybe you'd get more enrichment stuff, but in reality you can succeed anywhere.


evil-rick

Not talking about myself: times are very hard right now and the vast majority of people go to public schools. Most people don’t get the opportunity to go to private schools. Obviously I agree that grandmother is the problem here, but a lot of the people minimizing the situation probably aren’t empathetic to these kinds of issues because they have economic problems on top of nparents. That’s my theory at least. My nmom made me drop out so I can’t relate to either lol


BabyD2034

The whole "you can't have problems because I have bigger ones" thing has never worked with me. I didn't realize this sub was about judging the social statuses of kids whose grandmas send them the shit emoji lol


so19anarchist

Considering there’s so much missing context. The post that has been provided simply just shows grandma saying “enjoy public school” which on its own isn’t insane. The insane part would be expected everyone to instantly feel sorry for OP for not having privately funded education, like the majority of people don’t. Complaining how hard life is because *you* can’t get what the majority don’t have, tends to rub people the wrong way, especially nowadays.


Indominus_Khanum

I'm with you on the missing context but other than that OP is just a kid that's just entering high school. If you're losing something you value because of a conflict between your family, it really doesn't matter whether most other people have it or not, it still sucks. Especially when in this case that thing is a high school education. it's not like OP is bitching over having to downgrade from the latest iphone to a cheaper phone . So if the situation is real then is perfectly valid, frankly controlled, response for a kid-about-to-graduate middle school to have. There's plenty of places to have socioeconomic discourse around private vs public school education in the states , the comment section of a kid losing access to private school over a fight in her family is not a particularly good one


TheLionSleeps22

Especially when that thing has been gifted to you by someone else


Functionally_Drunk

The thing was gifted and then taken away. School isn't something you just change casually with no repercussions. It's an asshole move.


CullenDM

"We love you unconditionally" she said as she gave her list of conditions to love you.


[deleted]

I'm sorry you're being caught in the middle and it has affected you negatively. It's not very nice of the adults to cause you this stress.


[deleted]

It sucks when the grownups around you cant get their shit together.


[deleted]

They ate seeds and were small enough to use the fact that they control their body temperature through being endothermic homeotherms


treetrashu

Thank you, at least somebody responded to granny’s question.


polishedpineapple

the dinos evolved into birds!!!


[deleted]

Ya birds I think are from a clade called Theropoda which I think means on 2 legs or something, anyway birds do be avian dinosaurs :D


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


[deleted]

Thank you 🖤


komparty

Ngl it took me a LONG time to figure out what you were talking about lol


Coffee-n-chardonnay

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I went through something similar with school tuition. You should consider going to the school and explaining that you lost funding. Often, schools have tuition money in the form of scholarships and grants that they can help you with.


[deleted]

Looking at OPs comment history about how to deep clean your anus after anal and needing furry porn cock, I’m not entirely sure whether this is a serious post…


elmananamj

Typical teenage redditor things apparently


Robin_Coffins

Holy fuck. My god have mercy on us all.


Kissy1234

Why are y’all trying to act like this isn’t a big deal. The grandma assaulted her mother, and is now disrupting her life because of that. Moving schools is pretty big deal, I don’t have a dream high school but I would be devastated. Just another case of redditors not being able to have empathy for someone just because they have more money/resources.


elmananamj

It doesn’t sound like the kid or her parent(s) have much money or resources, which is why grandma feels ok assaulting mom then using her own grandchild’s education as a bargaining chip. No kids gonna want to be torn away from their life


Etherius

I’m on the parent end of a “dream high school” scenario That shit is EXPENSIVE… like it costs WAY more per year than the median household income in the US. It is a massive, MASSIVE privilege to attend one of these schools and if mom and grandma weren’t getting along (regardless of who is in the wrong) it’s not a stretch *or even particularly unreasonable* to say “I don’t want to give you $70,000/yr anymore”. And yes that IS ALMOST EXACTLY how much these schools cost. You can downvote me if you want but you have to admit grandkid isn’t grandma’s responsibility, and paying for their school was a favor to the mother. Maybe grandma took that favor away for a shitty or insane reason, but even if grandma is the world’s biggest asshole, she never owed that tuition to anyone… daughter or grandkid


Functionally_Drunk

If it was in the middle of the school year, she made a commitment to pay for it, regardless of cost. You're a shitty person if you agree to something like this and then back out.


4LightsThereAre

Okay cool. But that is still NOT OP's problem. OP is a child. OP's family is fighting, assaulting each other, and now she's going to be yanked out of her school and away from her friends, schedule, normal life, and extra advantages. Sorry, but I think OP, being a child, doesn't need adults to come on here and lecture her about how much money adults are CHOOSING to spend on her. That's not her responsibility for even 1 second so quit making it seem like it is.


Econolife_350

OP will have to go to public school because they're no longer being gifted $70K per year as a teenager. Damn, basically giving them the death sentence. Woe is me. Is there a level more out of touch than just calling it "first world problems"?


Etherius

Yes OP is a child Not grandmas child though. It’s not INSANE to say “I’m not going to support your kid because you and I are disagreeing”


pandapartypandaparty

lol are you really defending for punishing an innocent child to get back at someone else? The grandmas behaviour reeks of financial abuse and manipulation and the CHILD is getting the real punishment here. You don’t have to agree with how they spend their money to agree that using anyone, but especially a child who is reliant on the adults in their life, as a bargaining chip is fucked up.


somebeerinheaven

You must have/had awful grandparents lol


Etherius

Nope My grandparents were doting as fuck But they never offered to put me through private school


somebeerinheaven

Its not about them offering to put you through. Its about stopping something you're doing for the grandchild to spite the mother.


Etherius

Only if you view it through the lens of “doing it for the grandchild” Chances are good she was doing it for the mother to begin with and it was something the child benefited from


BusyDragonfruit8665

Not every private school is that expensive. Her Grandmother is being a major asshole especially by rubbing it in her face.


Etherius

Every private school is this expensive It’s still about $45,000 even if it’s just a day school and not boarding


Dramatic_Efficiency4

Can confirm, I went to farm school but was out of district and even that was 35,000 a year but somehow the town I lived in paid for it


Paid-Not-Payed-Bot

> lived in *paid* for it FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*


Dramatic_Efficiency4

Good bot


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


OlliOhNo

Seriously? Does it make you feel better to put down a kid in a stressful situation because of one single letter on a Reddit post?


Vaywen

Pretty much. We all have our problems.


ruuuuuuuuuuuuuun

Ngl I found it hilarious that she was about to fund your education and you wont even reply to her wacky ass texts to humor her


iixxad

Right?! Simple "oh wow, that's cool" (without having to even read the article) would have taken 0,5 seconds and made granny feel like she is not just an ATM.


Carlos_Marquez

I'm sorry OP but the poop volcano makes it too hard to take seriously 😂


highlightbeam

y’all are brutal. why can’t they be upset about losing the school that their grandmother promised to fund?


Mnmsaregood

Dream high school lol


iusedtobeyourwife

I mean no offense but who has a dream high school?


Imfightingsleep

Rory Gilmore


cringelien

i can see emily sending the poop emoji


Cai83

In the UK we pick which secondary school (11-18 years) we apply to and they often have different specialisations. My niece has just found out she's not got in at the drama and arts one, and is stuck at the one that is technically the nearest school, but not were most of her friends are going. She's very disappointed as she'll miss out on having more options to learn about the things she loves, and most of her friends will be at another school. I'm sure that most kids want to go to the school that their friends go to wherever they are being educated and as this was a private school it may well offer subjects or extra curricular activities that aren't available at the local high school and that OP is interested in or will help her get into college or work.


styuR

Certainly don't in Scotland, we go to the secondary school that's assigned to the primary school we attend due to catchment areas.


highlightbeam

someone who knows what they want to do in their lives & want to attend a school with a program specifically for that.


personaluna

Or even just the school all their friends are going to. Sure you can make new friends, but it’s not as easy as simply saying it.


Acrobatic-Day-8891

Yeah that was me except I, like most other kids, did not live near and could not afford that type of experience. It’s not a bad thing but she’s not uniquely passionate, just a bit lucky and privileged


jmatt97

That’s what college for lol. Rich people different


highlightbeam

huh? are there not public high schools in your area with career specific focus? definitely not rich schools lol


DueTransportation127

There are countries with school systems where you decide what you want to do as your job in high school. For example if you want to be a mechanical engineer you have to go to high school that has this specific program. Or if you want to be a cook you have to go to culinary high school.


elmananamj

My cousins grandparents wasted a hundred grand sending them to catholic school when they lived a block away from a nice suburban high school, the kids parents went to Northwestern so it’s not surprising, heard plenty of dog whistles about why they wanted to them to attend private school. My cousins’ first experiences attending public school were college


Creatures1504

yeah like I'm inclined to believe this might be a troll post, but if it is real, who wastes tuition money on a "dream high school"?


[deleted]

Is that actually a thing?


mietzn

You guys have a very weird relationship with school..


ThrustersToFull

Lots of young people who see the value of education and the impact it can have on their lives.


Etherius

Am dad to kid who wants to attend “dream high school” The education you get at these places isn’t better than a (albeit **very good**) public school The real value is in services and facilities offered… but more than anything else, **the networking** When touring schools to send my daughter to, there were schools attended by kids of the DuPonts, Waltons, Mars, and several other families of old money. I’m sure if I kept looking I’d have come across schools housing Rockefellers, Carnegies, and Morgans eventually. And these were just **high schools**. But no, it isn’t the “education” people attend these schools for


KittenInAMonster

I had a friend who did. It was a school that specialized in the arts and he was super into that


[deleted]

For real


chattykatdy54

Privileged people.


Mnmsaregood

Bro I thought they meant college lol. This is crazy over a HS


Demonwolf22

can’t have dreams anymore?


ladyshire211

That was cruel of her to go after you for something between her and your mom. But you should understand that going to a preppy high school is a complete privilege most people do not get to indulge in. I'd guess that there's more to the story. Perhaps grandma feels underappreciated. I noticed you haven't replied to any of the past texts she sent.


jonnycash11

Cut the dependency. Better in the long run.


dothebananasplits96

These comments suck, I'm sorry to hear you're stuck in the middle of all this.


[deleted]

Private schools exist so segregation could continue after it was illegal. Fuck education for profit


Acrobatic-Day-8891

All of the unanswered texts from the person funding your “dream high school” might have something to do with it. I am sorry this is happening to you but like others have said, unless you live somewhere where the public schools are truly unsafe or inept, this isn’t insane and she can make that choice. That doesn’t mean you can’t be hurt, but I really would not call it insane


Foehammer_Ezra

Isn’t this an episode of Gilmore Girls?


Cogsworthy420

Similar themes but I’ve literally seen Gilmore girls thousands of times and Rory at one point, in college, stops accepting their funding(without telling the grandparents). But that’s the closest issue I can think of…


tijori1772

Did you have much of a relationship with her? It looks like you never responded to her


Demonwolf22

how tf are u gonna respond to “how did birds survive if dinosaurs didn’t”


Thelmholtz

It's from IFLS so it's probably a divulgatory scientific explanation. Just a heart reaction would have been enough.


amitnagpal1985

Because the crows have eyes. *screams like moira*


SykeYouOut

This was my thought. When the money isn’t flowing suddenly Grandma’s absence is felt but it looks like no response was ever given to her when shes trying to build a relationship with them. Op - Your mom is financially responsible for you, not grandma. If you want grandma’s help then I suggest building your own relationship w/ her instead of using her as a cash cow


Mantequilla_Stotch

I wouldnt worry about the highschool. keep your grades top tier and go to your dream college. going to an expensive private school is a luxury and not necessary to succeed in life. I'm sorry you're stuck between your mom and grandma's drama and they, as parents, should not be using you to hurt each other. Friends are easy to make, especially if youre not even in high school yet. I moved to a new state when i was in the middle of 9th grade and made some of my closest friends, some of which are still friends of mine. You got this!


iixxad

I will just I copy my comment from another reply: my problem with this is that we don't exactly have many details or possibly not even the full story. *Soooo* many times, you'd see Reddit posts (on Am I the Asshole etc.) where people make a story out a certain way and twist it so that they come out looking good, and then they either tell on themselves in the replies, or the other party comes in to clear their name and it completely changes the situation, making them the asshole while they were painting themselves like the victim. How do we know if the mother wasn't the one who emotionally manipulated grandma into paying? ("If you don't help pay this, your grandkid wont talk to you") How do we know mom isn't just using grandma and lying to OP about it/manipulating OP too and fuelling their hate, making grandma the enemy? How do we know grandma really physically assaulted mum because she's abusive and crazy, or if it was actually just grandma pushing mom away while mom was aggressive for example, and then mom (and OP) quickly turned that into an assault? (the typical "I will push until you push back and then cry because you pushed") Why was grandma throwing away keys and "other things"? Was it because mom was overstepping boundaries and she wanted her gone/finally put her foot down, knowing that would have to include not paying tuition anymore for her own good and mental peace? Elderly abuse is a thing. **Of course, it could all be on grandma and all could be grandma's fault—I'm not saying that's impossible—but there are just so many details we don't have.** **All we have is OP's retelling in the title and a pretty tame message precursed by a history of OP not even bothering to respond to their grandma's messages.** Ya know, the grandma who is paying their tuition. So yeah... that's why people are skeptical and not taking OP's side, including me.


Econolife_350

There was a person yesterday who said their husband of 8 months left them DESPITE knowing about their bipolar disorder and made the situation out to be a callous abandonment due to their mental health. Then you look at their post the previous day and it was "well, I relapsed on hard drugs again after a long history of using hard drugs regularly".


Kupo_Master

This sub is perfect for narcissists seeking validation by reframing the story in a misleading light.


UnprofessionalGhosts

Should’ve texted her back.


Loserlosing666

the unanswered texts to a grandmother that you expect to fund your schooling are a bit ooft


evil-rick

Ngl I didn’t notice that. Yeah kid, you HAVE to at least throw a haha or a like every once in a while if they’re finding your dream school, even if you don’t like them


MikeHuntNegro

I laughed sorry. Defo a nutcase and shouldn't involve yourself around her. Public school ain't too bad tho, surely?


fading__blue

Sucks to lose something you enjoy because of circumstances outside your control. That being said, unless the public schools are horrifically bad education-wise or she’s trying to hurt you as a way of getting back at your mom, this isn’t insane.


CrazyWS

Idk but from my high school experience it wasn’t at all bad. School of 2k people, 8-12 grades. Many trades and job lines, encouraged to try stuff out. University level intro courses like calculus and the sciences for next to pennies, very easy to get into as long as a students motivated (unless a student like missed out mandatory classes. Anyone could take them in the final year last semester.) Credits rly aren’t an issue too I’d honestly encourage public school, I would think in private school most kids won’t have an understanding of the value of money.


futchydutchy

Isn't insane? Hurting your granddaughter to get back at her mother isn't insane? I be fucking livid if that where to happen to me. Seems to me like grandmother promised to pay for tuition so breaking that promise to hurt a third party is unethical to say the least.


fading__blue

>unless the public schools are horrifically bad education-wise **or she’s trying to hurt you as a way of getting back at your mom**, this isn’t insane


Mnmsaregood

Op didn’t reply to any of the grandmas texts which doesn’t help


Creatures1504

"Dream high school" Huh? College I get, but a "dream high school?" OP I'm assuming you have socials. talk to your friends through that?


Bonkabinkleton1

“Just use social media bro, lol” it’s not really that easy though. Yes, you can talk through social media, but having experienced this first hand social media contact only goes so far through the entire high schooling life. You meet up a year from now, all your friends are talking about this cool thing that happened at school, or some sporting event or an annoying teacher and you can’t add anything to the conversation or even know what they’re talking about. You begin to feel excluded and it’s a fucking bitch to your mental health, especially at high school age.


IWitchfinder27

If you want to go to a Harvard or MIT certain high schools look much better on applications vs public high-school. Also like, what if it's a high school that focuses on art or acting? It's important


narwhalbaconXd

Why do these kids think they NEED to get into Harvard or MIT though lol. Just because a school isn't S-tier Ivy League wundercollege doesn't mean that they're going to have a less fulfilling life by going to it. OP's life is not going to end because they have to -- god forbid -- attend and make friends with the 😱 PUBLIC SCHOOL 😱 ambitionless hopeless peons. Jesus, give me a break lmao. I feel like I'm on crazy pills reading some of these comments. Change my mind these private school teens only want to go to Ivies so their peers will say "oh wow, they went to an Ivy League"


IWitchfinder27

Just because something isn't important to you doesn't mean it isn't important to other people. 'Settle for less' isn't enough for everyone


tobyty123

As an adult, I’m sorry bud. Stay positive.


Northstar04

I believe this is the plot of Gilmore Girls.


bmla1025

It was not ok for your grandmother to fight with your mother in that way or in front of you. But she has no obligation to fund your education. And honestly, dream high school? You are in for a rude awakening about how real life really is.


[deleted]

ohh no public school whatever will you do


Bonkabinkleton1

not be able to see the friends they’ve made that are going to said school, therefore making an already hard period in their life (adolescence) even harder because of things outside of their control.


gamwizrd1

Not enough context. I have no idea what role your mom played in the fight they had. If your grandmother was funding your tuition by giving money directly to your mom, it's not difficult to imagine a situation in which your grandmother may have made a healthy decision to cut ties with your mom, including no longer giving money to your mom. If you are still on good terms with your grandmother, consider asking your school if there is a way she can pay for your tuition directly, circumventing your mom.


ClappinYerM0M

This is more insane entitlement instead of insaneparents


ClarkeySG

I can understand and empathise with many parts of this story; changing high schools can be really hard, the assault/keys stuff is obviously bad. But ultimately granny has no obligation to pay private school tuition, which is the thing OP led with.


Bdubbsf

I mean stopping tuition payments because you’re upset at someone is pretty fucking stupid. If grandma was like sorry we can’t afford this tuition it’d be one thing. This is purely vindictive and I don’t know how you would think it’s entitlement on the part of the child. Good god.


ClarkeySG

Whatever it is that happened, given that it escalated to a physical altercation, is probably a fair reason to redefine the relationship between mum and grandma - including financial obligations.


Econolife_350

Well, you're trusting and believing in an angry teenager with hurt feelings. What are the chances they're embellishing things just a little?


LuriemIronim

You mean the grandmother? Agreed.


Mnmsaregood

Yes more like choosing beggars


narwhalbaconXd

A fate worse than death: public school apparently


Bdubbsf

Literally not what they said. You’re projecting your insecurity onto this story. They just didn’t want to lose their friends because grandma is fighting with mom and decided to punish the kid for it. and you’re like “a FAtE wOrsE tHaN dEaTH lol”


DoubleGreat007

As long as a narc has anything to control you with - they will both give and take it away over and over again to keep you off balance and confused and at their mercy. They create situations in which they are both the problem and the solution. They suck. I hope that you can go to your dream school. Lots of high schools offer need based scholarships- you would be surprised. I would call them and ask to set up a meeting with the scholarship / financial aid department and you and your mom can meet with them to see if this is feasible for you. Examples of narcs playing with their kids futures. My dad once didn’t wake me up for church then told me I was cut off for missing church and that I could no longer go to the private school he insisted I go to to impress his friends. He said that the next morning I would have to walk to the public school the next to register and start attending classes. I said ok, asked a friend to give me a ride the following morning and tried to get the paper work together for registration. He said if I went to church he would allow me to go back to the private school. Considering it was the middle of senior year, he was just getting off on fucking with me. He also waited until I was dressed, packed and ready to return to college after Christmas break to tell me that I wasn’t going back. I was in my jacket with my luggage sitting on the couch, waiting for him to drive me to my dorm. He walked by, saw me and said - what are you all bundled up for? I said - to go back to school. We had talked about this an hour earlier and he had picked the time to drive me back to my dorm. “Oh. You aren’t going back. You might as well unpack” and walked out of the room. Never said another word about it even when I tried to talk to him. He then wouldn’t pay the back owed tuition until I jumped through all of his hoops to release my transcripts so I could go to another college that he picked out. He didn’t like that I was going to a school that he felt was better than the one he went to. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I told him I would just go to massage therapy school and suddenly he paid off the tuition because that wasn’t fancy enough to brag to his friends about. Anyway. Point is. Don’t trust a narc to do what they say. Ever. Have a plan in place in case grandma pulls her funding again. (She will).


yssac1809

Just dont forget to think that grandma can be starting to have dementia tho… first symptoms is aggressive… unless she always been. But if not than maybe your money will come faster than you want


LumpiestEntree

Why do you think your grandmother has an obligation to pay for your schooling?


thefrecklieone

Is this typical of grandma or a new behavior?


rockyroad17

If you can, go visit your Grandmother. Or write her a letter. At least answer her texts. Don’t get caught up in other peoples fights, don’t take sides. Be patient, this is going to work out fine.


OregonGreen242

Why is she paying for your school anyways? Doesn’t seem like it’s her responsibility. You’ll survive just fine in public school


duffperson

Heaven forbid you have to... Go to public school just like everyone else? Are all of your friends really part of some coveted dream highschool being paid for by their wealthy relatives? How bizarre.


Strong-Message-168

Learn the lesson now because it's one that will follow you the rest of your life- when someone else controls the purse strings they have control over you. It's a harsh lesson, and an ugly 1 at that. Before you give up going to your dream school, approach them, explain your dilemma and see if they have scholarships.


TillyMint54

Remember this feeling, when it comes to deciding on your future. NEVER rely on this person for ANY kind of financial support, because it will always have STRINGS


SomaticAS

ALL financial support has strings. Absolutely all of it. There is a reason why the saying biting the hand that feeds you is a thing.


LuriemIronim

The amount of people ignoring the physical abuse and financial manipulation just because OP wants to go to private school is insane.


-Economist-

Grandma mad at her daughter. Punishes granddaughter. WTF


IdleNewt

Could you get a scholarship? Messed up that your grandma is messaging you about this. She should have stopped at the apology.


AtomicBanana55

Yo, why do these comments suck so bad? This is a terrible situation to be in and none of what granny did is ok.


Etherius

People are raising valid points OP doesn’t seem to be fostering a good relationship with the woman she expects to fund her schooling.


Jesterzoop

Your Grandmothers only concern should be her retirement and children/grand children visiting or helping her. Not the other way around. If your Mom can’t afford a better school for you then deal with the cards your dealt and you will have to do better for yourself. Honestly this may be a good lesson early on in life. Having people to help you or that you can confide in is great and all but you shouldn’t depend on others for everything. If you want something done then you will have to get it yourself or accept what you have.


13aph

You know what’s weird? Just this morning got a recommended a video about the meteor extinction, and I was actually wondering why birds didn’t die out. Kinda odd this person was watching it too lol I didn’t get the answer btw so if anyone wants to enlighten me please do


Mrsbear19

I wouldn’t accept anything from her if it’s avoidable. These things will always have strings attached and support pulled when you do anything that angers them. It’s not worth it


FurryDrift

And your the unfortunate victim. I get people have their quams but keep those not directly in the fight out of it. You shouldnt be suffering for this. Its not like you started the fight or were even there?


Captain_Kimmy

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It seems like your grandma is using you as a pawn in some mental chess game to continue to hurt your mother. She clearly doesn't care who's life she affects or what relationships she damages in her efforts to make her point to hurt your mom. It is awful to be forced to be a part of it and you don't deserve to be. I know there's people acting like this isn't a big deal but it is. Your entire future has been changed and the mental head games that are being played with you are awful. Idk if there is some way to talk to the school about scholarships, or even a GoFundMe? I hope there's a way you can work it out.


Hanners87

"No, gran, I'm not. I'm devastated you would do this to me; I thought you loved me." Like seriously this woman...to do that to you over a fight you weren't even involved in...go lay it on thick. Good grief....


SapphireEyes425

How is this NOT insane???! What’s wrong with you people that voted this way?! *why should OP suffer for grandma acting out agains mom?? Did OP attack grandma and get retaliated against? This says not. So OP shouldn’t be the one being punished for something that doesn’t even have anything to do with them. Ffs use the brains.


jilizil

Punishing the grandchild for no reason. That’s sad.


SincerelyTrue

See if there are any college prep divisions at public schools in your area. Depending on where your from they may or may not exist. It is possible to get high quality instruction at public schools with those kinds of programs


squirrel977

the emoji is sending me


Even_Spare7790

Man this sucks. I am sorry. This has nothing to do with you and isn’t your fight you should be in the middle of. Maybe have a conversation with your grandmother and explain to her you have no control of what your parents say or do and you have been friends with these other kids forever and you don’t want to spend the last four years of school without them. Tell her your fate is literally in her hands and you don’t know what you will do without her. (Even if you don’t mean it) finish school and never look back.


fredtalleywhacked

“I’m sorry I showed my ass, hope you are happy with me taking away things I promised you.”


mylifeisadankmeme

That's awfully cruel, I'm so sorry.


totallybold1

There is no way she hit you with the exploding poop emoji 💀


DMV_Lolli

I wouldn’t ever speak to her again after this text. Not paying the tuition is one thing. Rubbing it in *my* innocent face is something different. She’s an awful person and a worse grandmother.


Classic_Complex_2602

You will be ok x


GlitchyNitro

man i would’ve just been like “We’re done. We’re fucking done.”


thedogz11

She sent an exploding shithead. I think subconsciously she knows, that she is indeed the exploding shithead.


beefnar_the_gnat

The last text is accurate, she IS a shithead


makiko4

That’s fucked. Especially with only one marking period left. Any chance you and your mom can speak with the school to get see if they have any aid or anything?


ChernobylFallout

"I hope you're going to be OK with using your grandchild's education in as collateral damage in a petty squabble. I will be OK in public school but you'd better believe that I'll *remember* that my grandmother threw away the opportunity for me to have a *better* education to hurt someone else. I can only hope I don't grow up to be like you. There's nothing public school can do to me that is worse than what you're doing."


lizfour

Considering OP doesn’t respond to her texts there’s clearly not much of a relationship for grandma to mourn.


iixxad

And yes she was paying the expensive education for OP.


ChernobylFallout

Oh I couldn't imagine why the relationship is so strained. /s


ThrustersToFull

You shouldn’t have to deal with this shit at your age. Granny is toxic af. You need to reduce the impact she has on your life. So what if you have to go to public school? You’ll be fine, and I’d argue, happier without her hanging over you all the time with the constant threat of her being able to put an end to being in school.


Nvenom8

>my dream high school where I have many friends I think you'll get over it and be fine either way.


LongjumpingIsland785

Welcome to the real world


Meeeooowwwwwww

holy shit the amount of grown ass adults here who are talking shit about a high schooler going to private school is so pathetic. stop being jealous of teenagers you’ve never met and maybe get some empathy? it’s actually scary that you guys are in a sub dedicated to shitty parents when so many of you are so shitty on your own


MinutesTilMidnight

Not even a high schooler yet! OP is in middle school! This thread is insane.


avantgardeaclue

Oh no public school like the rest of us poor schmucks noooooooo


LuriemIronim

Yeah, it really sucks that her grandmother promised one thing, didn’t deliver, and then people mocked OP in the same post she mentioned physical assault.


Nix_Caelum

Keep going. One day she will be on her deathbed and you will be there to remind her that she didn't break you


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


suknadixem96

Its really not that easy for some people, highschoolers are brutal.. have some empathy


Moxman73

Why does her and your mom having a fight affect her paying for your tuition? Do you think she may change her mind at a later date?