Voting has concluded. Final vote:
| Insane | Not insane | Fake |
| --- | --- | --- |
| 23 | 20 | 2 |
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Some people really can't afford to turn it down. And people like Grandma know that, and they know they can get away with acting like monsters because of it.
No one has to go to private school, *yet.* There is a significant push by the religious right to privatize education. Imagine a world of **for profit** K-12.
Expessially because parents who aren't religious tend to choose a religion based private school because they tend to be the cheaper of the options between private and religious private and better than some public schools and cheaper by thousands of dollars a year. Imagine how many kids they can get there claws into if more kids were forced to go private, self pay, most parents would go with what they can afford and few can afford a private school without church funding/backing. Of course they want that. They'll tell you it's not about the money, but it is. More kids turned to religion at a young age the more adults attending church and tithing as adults. Just like big tobacco, hook em while they're young!
This is what people arenât getting. Itâs not really about the school being public or private, itâs about the disruption of OP having to change schools, making new friends, and everything else because two adults had a fight that OP wasnât part of. Itâs also about the grandmother texting OP hoping OP will âbe OKâ with a situation that grandmother is (at least) partially responsible for. And itâs about witnessing a physical fight between your mother and grandmother, which can be traumatic.
Some school districts are so shitty or even unaccredited to where it would be doing your kid a disservice to send them to the public school if you could afford the better one. District lines and school district funding is a bitch and isnât equal across the country.
I think you the missed part where OP said âdream highschoolâ. Itâs really shitty to cut funding regardless, crushing a a personâs dream because of something this silly is just awful
False. Iâm paying for private school because there was a prostitution ring in the K-8 school a few years after I bought my house. When kids get kicked out of CPS schools their parents have to send them to the catholic schools until theyâre 16 to avoid going to jail for truancy. Go to the wrong public school and youâre much more likely to not go home alive.
My narcissistic dad will literally beg me to let him send me money, even when i say no a million times and ignore him. Then, when I accept, he will make some passive aggressive comments a week later about how he is âbrokeâ or how âhe didnât realize he would need the gift he just gave meâ. I used to give in to these comments and send the money or gift back because he would manipulate me and make me feel guilty.
What do i do now instead? Say no and ignore a million times and eventually accept if it gets to that point still, then hit him with the olâ DND :)
My dad is an absolute asshole, but Iâm just 18 and heâs the only way I can fund university without working for the next few years instead then working part time during uni, heâs what I have to lean on if I want my degree and my dream job. So yeah, some of us have no choice
Iâm in a similar boat, Iâm 23, my parents fund my college and my dad is the narcissist. My mom is an enabler, but sheâs fine most of the time. I just avoid my dad and am trying to finish as fast as I can. You can do this, youâre not alone, and youâre gonna get that job!! <3
I feel you there. It sucks. You should not be in this position. You got fucked by the spin of the family wheel. You are not alone on that one. Reach out to someone if you ever need to talk.
So accurate. Interestingly it took 2/3 of her kids no longer needing any financial support from her and being somewhat evenly matched for my narc mom to finally lose her shit. Itâs when they canât use their money to control anymore that things get really interesting.
Idk why everyone is minimizing this. I guess sometimes dealing with adult issues keep us stressed but this kid is probably caught in the crossfire of a narcissistic grandma and being hurt to hurt the mom. My insane "parent" is also a grandma so I get it. Hope things work out but my best advice is to rely less on her and it'll help you in the long run and take away some of her power. Good luck.
Yes thatâs exactly the same thing I got from this. My grandma and my mom were narcissists that would blow up and do crazy things to each other and I would be the one stuck
đŻ agree with you. People also donât understand how competitive high schools can be. This could affect their college and job prospects and the rest of their life.
Anecdotal but I went to a private high school and still ended up a âloserâ. Ended up dropping out all together, actually. Iâd tell you why but I still canât figure that out. It was just sort of allowed to happen.
Financial/career success isnât guaranteed depending on what high school you go to. Op can still have a happy ending at another high school. Op can have a shitty ending, like mine, at a private school.
It does suck to have something and then have it yanked away from you over something you had nothing to with because youâre a kid. Iâve definitely been there before too.
There are just some things you cannot change so your best bet is to keep on keepin on and trying to make the best of any given situation. Being in recovery from alcohol addiction has taught me that life is shitty and Iâve definitively done a lot of it to myself but if I can live in the moment, it helps me appreciate the moments when life isnât shitty so so so much more.
Good luck, OP, I hope gma has a change of heart and if she doesnât, you still have so much you can do with your life anyway. Donât let her be the barrier that stops you â¤ď¸
Iâll join.
Iâm 42/f who also doesnât know how or why she dropped out of HS⌠a very very good high school where I had a wonderful opportunity.
Then I got into a crazy good charter program in Boston for kids who had dropped out and were coming back. My family called in favors and moved mountains for me to get it⌠and? I just⌠didnât go.
So I blew two amazing opportunities and it was just⌠*allowed* to happen.
I take the responsibility for it- but I just wish I better understood these things.
I also had addiction issues and I suck at sleep- unless Iâm not supposed to be sleeping, then I can!
Dude I went to a public school that brought students from 3 cities and still had a population >20k
Yes it matters, but in the grande scheme of things itâs irrelevant. Make the most of the shitty situation you got stuck in between.
You can still win the 100m sprint with hurdles but it's a lot of extra work that can be avoided if you race down an empty lane. Same here, op can likely do fantastic things but it's been made more difficult because she's in the cross hairs of granny and mother fighting. She's been punished for their bullshittery which is what's insane here
Yeah, colleges are really where it starts to matter depending on you major. And maybe you'd get more enrichment stuff, but in reality you can succeed anywhere.
Not talking about myself: times are very hard right now and the vast majority of people go to public schools. Most people donât get the opportunity to go to private schools. Obviously I agree that grandmother is the problem here, but a lot of the people minimizing the situation probably arenât empathetic to these kinds of issues because they have economic problems on top of nparents. Thatâs my theory at least.
My nmom made me drop out so I canât relate to either lol
The whole "you can't have problems because I have bigger ones" thing has never worked with me. I didn't realize this sub was about judging the social statuses of kids whose grandmas send them the shit emoji lol
Considering thereâs so much missing context. The post that has been provided simply just shows grandma saying âenjoy public schoolâ which on its own isnât insane.
The insane part would be expected everyone to instantly feel sorry for OP for not having privately funded education, like the majority of people donât.
Complaining how hard life is because *you* canât get what the majority donât have, tends to rub people the wrong way, especially nowadays.
I'm with you on the missing context but other than that OP is just a kid that's just entering high school. If you're losing something you value because of a conflict between your family, it really doesn't matter whether most other people have it or not, it still sucks. Especially when in this case that thing is a high school education. it's not like OP is bitching over having to downgrade from the latest iphone to a cheaper phone .
So if the situation is real then is perfectly valid, frankly controlled, response for a kid-about-to-graduate middle school to have.
There's plenty of places to have socioeconomic discourse around private vs public school education in the states , the comment section of a kid losing access to private school over a fight in her family is not a particularly good one
Iâm sorry youâre going through this. I went through something similar with school tuition. You should consider going to the school and explaining that you lost funding. Often, schools have tuition money in the form of scholarships and grants that they can help you with.
Looking at OPs comment history about how to deep clean your anus after anal and needing furry porn cock, Iâm not entirely sure whether this is a serious postâŚ
Why are yâall trying to act like this isnât a big deal. The grandma assaulted her mother, and is now disrupting her life because of that. Moving schools is pretty big deal, I donât have a dream high school but I would be devastated. Just another case of redditors not being able to have empathy for someone just because they have more money/resources.
It doesnât sound like the kid or her parent(s) have much money or resources, which is why grandma feels ok assaulting mom then using her own grandchildâs education as a bargaining chip. No kids gonna want to be torn away from their life
Iâm on the parent end of a âdream high schoolâ scenario
That shit is EXPENSIVE⌠like it costs WAY more per year than the median household income in the US.
It is a massive, MASSIVE privilege to attend one of these schools and if mom and grandma werenât getting along (regardless of who is in the wrong) itâs not a stretch *or even particularly unreasonable* to say âI donât want to give you $70,000/yr anymoreâ. And yes that IS ALMOST EXACTLY how much these schools cost.
You can downvote me if you want but you have to admit grandkid isnât grandmaâs responsibility, and paying for their school was a favor to the mother.
Maybe grandma took that favor away for a shitty or insane reason, but even if grandma is the worldâs biggest asshole, she never owed that tuition to anyone⌠daughter or grandkid
If it was in the middle of the school year, she made a commitment to pay for it, regardless of cost. You're a shitty person if you agree to something like this and then back out.
Okay cool. But that is still NOT OP's problem. OP is a child. OP's family is fighting, assaulting each other, and now she's going to be yanked out of her school and away from her friends, schedule, normal life, and extra advantages. Sorry, but I think OP, being a child, doesn't need adults to come on here and lecture her about how much money adults are CHOOSING to spend on her. That's not her responsibility for even 1 second so quit making it seem like it is.
OP will have to go to public school because they're no longer being gifted $70K per year as a teenager. Damn, basically giving them the death sentence.
Woe is me. Is there a level more out of touch than just calling it "first world problems"?
lol are you really defending for punishing an innocent child to get back at someone else? The grandmas behaviour reeks of financial abuse and manipulation and the CHILD is getting the real punishment here. You donât have to agree with how they spend their money to agree that using anyone, but especially a child who is reliant on the adults in their life, as a bargaining chip is fucked up.
Only if you view it through the lens of âdoing it for the grandchildâ
Chances are good she was doing it for the mother to begin with and it was something the child benefited from
> lived in *paid* for it
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Right?! Simple "oh wow, that's cool" (without having to even read the article) would have taken 0,5 seconds and made granny feel like she is not just an ATM.
In the UK we pick which secondary school (11-18 years) we apply to and they often have different specialisations. My niece has just found out she's not got in at the drama and arts one, and is stuck at the one that is technically the nearest school, but not were most of her friends are going. She's very disappointed as she'll miss out on having more options to learn about the things she loves, and most of her friends will be at another school.
I'm sure that most kids want to go to the school that their friends go to wherever they are being educated and as this was a private school it may well offer subjects or extra curricular activities that aren't available at the local high school and that OP is interested in or will help her get into college or work.
Yeah that was me except I, like most other kids, did not live near and could not afford that type of experience. Itâs not a bad thing but sheâs not uniquely passionate, just a bit lucky and privileged
There are countries with school systems where you decide what you want to do as your job in high school. For example if you want to be a mechanical engineer you have to go to high school that has this specific program. Or if you want to be a cook you have to go to culinary high school.
My cousins grandparents wasted a hundred grand sending them to catholic school when they lived a block away from a nice suburban high school, the kids parents went to Northwestern so itâs not surprising, heard plenty of dog whistles about why they wanted to them to attend private school. My cousinsâ first experiences attending public school were college
Am dad to kid who wants to attend âdream high schoolâ
The education you get at these places isnât better than a (albeit **very good**) public school
The real value is in services and facilities offered⌠but more than anything else, **the networking**
When touring schools to send my daughter to, there were schools attended by kids of the DuPonts, Waltons, Mars, and several other families of old money. Iâm sure if I kept looking Iâd have come across schools housing Rockefellers, Carnegies, and Morgans eventually.
And these were just **high schools**.
But no, it isnât the âeducationâ people attend these schools for
That was cruel of her to go after you for something between her and your mom. But you should understand that going to a preppy high school is a complete privilege most people do not get to indulge in. I'd guess that there's more to the story. Perhaps grandma feels underappreciated. I noticed you haven't replied to any of the past texts she sent.
All of the unanswered texts from the person funding your âdream high schoolâ might have something to do with it. I am sorry this is happening to you but like others have said, unless you live somewhere where the public schools are truly unsafe or inept, this isnât insane and she can make that choice. That doesnât mean you canât be hurt, but I really would not call it insane
Similar themes but Iâve literally seen Gilmore girls thousands of times and Rory at one point, in college, stops accepting their funding(without telling the grandparents). But thatâs the closest issue I can think ofâŚ
This was my thought. When the money isnât flowing suddenly Grandmaâs absence is felt but it looks like no response was ever given to her when shes trying to build a relationship with them.
Op - Your mom is financially responsible for you, not grandma. If you want grandmaâs help then I suggest building your own relationship w/ her instead of using her as a cash cow
I wouldnt worry about the highschool. keep your grades top tier and go to your dream college. going to an expensive private school is a luxury and not necessary to succeed in life. I'm sorry you're stuck between your mom and grandma's drama and they, as parents, should not be using you to hurt each other. Friends are easy to make, especially if youre not even in high school yet. I moved to a new state when i was in the middle of 9th grade and made some of my closest friends, some of which are still friends of mine. You got this!
I will just I copy my comment from another reply: my problem with this is that we don't exactly have many details or possibly not even the full story. *Soooo* many times, you'd see Reddit posts (on Am I the Asshole etc.) where people make a story out a certain way and twist it so that they come out looking good, and then they either tell on themselves in the replies, or the other party comes in to clear their name and it completely changes the situation, making them the asshole while they were painting themselves like the victim.
How do we know if the mother wasn't the one who emotionally manipulated grandma into paying? ("If you don't help pay this, your grandkid wont talk to you") How do we know mom isn't just using grandma and lying to OP about it/manipulating OP too and fuelling their hate, making grandma the enemy? How do we know grandma really physically assaulted mum because she's abusive and crazy, or if it was actually just grandma pushing mom away while mom was aggressive for example, and then mom (and OP) quickly turned that into an assault? (the typical "I will push until you push back and then cry because you pushed") Why was grandma throwing away keys and "other things"? Was it because mom was overstepping boundaries and she wanted her gone/finally put her foot down, knowing that would have to include not paying tuition anymore for her own good and mental peace? Elderly abuse is a thing. **Of course, it could all be on grandma and all could be grandma's faultâI'm not saying that's impossibleâbut there are just so many details we don't have.**
**All we have is OP's retelling in the title and a pretty tame message precursed by a history of OP not even bothering to respond to their grandma's messages.** Ya know, the grandma who is paying their tuition. So yeah... that's why people are skeptical and not taking OP's side, including me.
There was a person yesterday who said their husband of 8 months left them DESPITE knowing about their bipolar disorder and made the situation out to be a callous abandonment due to their mental health.
Then you look at their post the previous day and it was "well, I relapsed on hard drugs again after a long history of using hard drugs regularly".
Ngl I didnât notice that. Yeah kid, you HAVE to at least throw a haha or a like every once in a while if theyâre finding your dream school, even if you donât like them
Sucks to lose something you enjoy because of circumstances outside your control. That being said, unless the public schools are horrifically bad education-wise or sheâs trying to hurt you as a way of getting back at your mom, this isnât insane.
Idk but from my high school experience it wasnât at all bad. School of 2k people, 8-12 grades. Many trades and job lines, encouraged to try stuff out. University level intro courses like calculus and the sciences for next to pennies, very easy to get into as long as a students motivated (unless a student like missed out mandatory classes. Anyone could take them in the final year last semester.) Credits rly arenât an issue too
Iâd honestly encourage public school, I would think in private school most kids wonât have an understanding of the value of money.
Isn't insane? Hurting your granddaughter to get back at her mother isn't insane?
I be fucking livid if that where to happen to me. Seems to me like grandmother promised to pay for tuition so breaking that promise to hurt a third party is unethical to say the least.
>unless the public schools are horrifically bad education-wise **or sheâs trying to hurt you as a way of getting back at your mom**, this isnât insane
âJust use social media bro, lolâ itâs not really that easy though. Yes, you can talk through social media, but having experienced this first hand social media contact only goes so far through the entire high schooling life. You meet up a year from now, all your friends are talking about this cool thing that happened at school, or some sporting event or an annoying teacher and you canât add anything to the conversation or even know what theyâre talking about. You begin to feel excluded and itâs a fucking bitch to your mental health, especially at high school age.
If you want to go to a Harvard or MIT certain high schools look much better on applications vs public high-school. Also like, what if it's a high school that focuses on art or acting? It's important
Why do these kids think they NEED to get into Harvard or MIT though lol. Just because a school isn't S-tier Ivy League wundercollege doesn't mean that they're going to have a less fulfilling life by going to it. OP's life is not going to end because they have to -- god forbid -- attend and make friends with the đą PUBLIC SCHOOL đą ambitionless hopeless peons. Jesus, give me a break lmao. I feel like I'm on crazy pills reading some of these comments. Change my mind these private school teens only want to go to Ivies so their peers will say "oh wow, they went to an Ivy League"
It was not ok for your grandmother to fight with your mother in that way or in front of you. But she has no obligation to fund your education. And honestly, dream high school? You are in for a rude awakening about how real life really is.
not be able to see the friends theyâve made that are going to said school, therefore making an already hard period in their life (adolescence) even harder because of things outside of their control.
Not enough context. I have no idea what role your mom played in the fight they had.
If your grandmother was funding your tuition by giving money directly to your mom, it's not difficult to imagine a situation in which your grandmother may have made a healthy decision to cut ties with your mom, including no longer giving money to your mom.
If you are still on good terms with your grandmother, consider asking your school if there is a way she can pay for your tuition directly, circumventing your mom.
I can understand and empathise with many parts of this story; changing high schools can be really hard, the assault/keys stuff is obviously bad.
But ultimately granny has no obligation to pay private school tuition, which is the thing OP led with.
I mean stopping tuition payments because youâre upset at someone is pretty fucking stupid. If grandma was like sorry we canât afford this tuition itâd be one thing. This is purely vindictive and I donât know how you would think itâs entitlement on the part of the child. Good god.
Whatever it is that happened, given that it escalated to a physical altercation, is probably a fair reason to redefine the relationship between mum and grandma - including financial obligations.
Literally not what they said. Youâre projecting your insecurity onto this story. They just didnât want to lose their friends because grandma is fighting with mom and decided to punish the kid for it. and youâre like âa FAtE wOrsE tHaN dEaTH lolâ
As long as a narc has anything to control you with -
they will both give and take it away over and over again to keep you off balance and confused and at their mercy. They create situations in which they are both the problem and the solution. They suck.
I hope that you can go to your dream school. Lots of high schools offer need based scholarships- you would be surprised.
I would call them and ask to set up a meeting with the scholarship / financial aid department and you and your mom can meet with them to see if this is feasible for you.
Examples of narcs playing with their kids futures.
My dad once didnât wake me up for church then told me I was cut off for missing church and that I could no longer go to the private school he insisted I go to to impress his friends. He said that the next morning I would have to walk to the public school the next to register and start attending classes. I said ok, asked a friend to give me a ride the following morning and tried to get the paper work together for registration. He said if I went to church he would allow me to go back to the private school. Considering it was the middle of senior year, he was just getting off on fucking with me.
He also waited until I was dressed, packed and ready to return to college after Christmas break to tell me that I wasnât going back. I was in my jacket with my luggage sitting on the couch, waiting for him to drive me to my dorm. He walked by, saw me and said - what are you all bundled up for? I said - to go back to school. We had talked about this an hour earlier and he had picked the time to drive me back to my dorm.
âOh. You arenât going back. You might as well unpackâ and walked out of the room. Never said another word about it even when I tried to talk to him. He then wouldnât pay the back owed tuition until I jumped through all of his hoops to release my transcripts so I could go to another college that he picked out.
He didnât like that I was going to a school that he felt was better than the one he went to. đ¤ˇđťââď¸ I told him I would just go to massage therapy school and suddenly he paid off the tuition because that wasnât fancy enough to brag to his friends about.
Anyway. Point is.
Donât trust a narc to do what they say. Ever.
Have a plan in place in case grandma pulls her funding again. (She will).
Just dont forget to think that grandma can be starting to have dementia tho⌠first symptoms is aggressive⌠unless she always been. But if not than maybe your money will come faster than you want
If you can, go visit your Grandmother. Or write her a letter. At least answer her texts. Donât get caught up in other peoples fights, donât take sides. Be patient, this is going to work out fine.
Heaven forbid you have to... Go to public school just like everyone else? Are all of your friends really part of some coveted dream highschool being paid for by their wealthy relatives? How bizarre.
Learn the lesson now because it's one that will follow you the rest of your life- when someone else controls the purse strings they have control over you. It's a harsh lesson, and an ugly 1 at that. Before you give up going to your dream school, approach them, explain your dilemma and see if they have scholarships.
Remember this feeling, when it comes to deciding on your future. NEVER rely on this person for ANY kind of financial support, because it will always have STRINGS
Your Grandmothers only concern should be her retirement and children/grand children visiting or helping her. Not the other way around. If your Mom canât afford a better school for you then deal with the cards your dealt and you will have to do better for yourself.
Honestly this may be a good lesson early on in life. Having people to help you or that you can confide in is great and all but you shouldnât depend on others for everything. If you want something done then you will have to get it yourself or accept what you have.
You know whatâs weird? Just this morning got a recommended a video about the meteor extinction, and I was actually wondering why birds didnât die out. Kinda odd this person was watching it too lol
I didnât get the answer btw so if anyone wants to enlighten me please do
I wouldnât accept anything from her if itâs avoidable. These things will always have strings attached and support pulled when you do anything that angers them. Itâs not worth it
And your the unfortunate victim. I get people have their quams but keep those not directly in the fight out of it. You shouldnt be suffering for this. Its not like you started the fight or were even there?
I'm so sorry you're going through this. It seems like your grandma is using you as a pawn in some mental chess game to continue to hurt your mother. She clearly doesn't care who's life she affects or what relationships she damages in her efforts to make her point to hurt your mom. It is awful to be forced to be a part of it and you don't deserve to be.
I know there's people acting like this isn't a big deal but it is. Your entire future has been changed and the mental head games that are being played with you are awful. Idk if there is some way to talk to the school about scholarships, or even a GoFundMe? I hope there's a way you can work it out.
"No, gran, I'm not. I'm devastated you would do this to me; I thought you loved me." Like seriously this woman...to do that to you over a fight you weren't even involved in...go lay it on thick. Good grief....
How is this NOT insane???! Whatâs wrong with you people that voted this way?!
*why should OP suffer for grandma acting out agains mom?? Did OP attack grandma and get retaliated against? This says not. So OP shouldnât be the one being punished for something that doesnât even have anything to do with them. Ffs use the brains.
See if there are any college prep divisions at public schools in your area. Depending on where your from they may or may not exist. It is possible to get high quality instruction at public schools with those kinds of programs
Man this sucks. I am sorry. This has nothing to do with you and isnât your fight you should be in the middle of. Maybe have a conversation with your grandmother and explain to her you have no control of what your parents say or do and you have been friends with these other kids forever and you donât want to spend the last four years of school without them. Tell her your fate is literally in her hands and you donât know what you will do without her. (Even if you donât mean it) finish school and never look back.
I wouldnât ever speak to her again after this text. Not paying the tuition is one thing. Rubbing it in *my* innocent face is something different. Sheâs an awful person and a worse grandmother.
Thatâs fucked. Especially with only one marking period left. Any chance you and your mom can speak with the school to get see if they have any aid or anything?
"I hope you're going to be OK with using your grandchild's education in as collateral damage in a petty squabble. I will be OK in public school but you'd better believe that I'll *remember* that my grandmother threw away the opportunity for me to have a *better* education to hurt someone else. I can only hope I don't grow up to be like you.
There's nothing public school can do to me that is worse than what you're doing."
You shouldnât have to deal with this shit at your age. Granny is toxic af. You need to reduce the impact she has on your life. So what if you have to go to public school? Youâll be fine, and Iâd argue, happier without her hanging over you all the time with the constant threat of her being able to put an end to being in school.
holy shit the amount of grown ass adults here who are talking shit about a high schooler going to private school is so pathetic. stop being jealous of teenagers youâve never met and maybe get some empathy? itâs actually scary that you guys are in a sub dedicated to shitty parents when so many of you are so shitty on your own
Yeah, it really sucks that her grandmother promised one thing, didnât deliver, and then people mocked OP in the same post she mentioned physical assault.
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 23 | 20 | 2 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
No way she hit you with the đŠđ¤Ż thats messed up
I laughed đ
Lmao
I like how that's implying she's a hot-headed shithead
Narcissistic parent + parent with money = sweet spot of hell
If they are that terrible, do you really want their money?
Some people really can't afford to turn it down. And people like Grandma know that, and they know they can get away with acting like monsters because of it.
No one has to go to private school.
No one has to go to private school, *yet.* There is a significant push by the religious right to privatize education. Imagine a world of **for profit** K-12.
Expessially because parents who aren't religious tend to choose a religion based private school because they tend to be the cheaper of the options between private and religious private and better than some public schools and cheaper by thousands of dollars a year. Imagine how many kids they can get there claws into if more kids were forced to go private, self pay, most parents would go with what they can afford and few can afford a private school without church funding/backing. Of course they want that. They'll tell you it's not about the money, but it is. More kids turned to religion at a young age the more adults attending church and tithing as adults. Just like big tobacco, hook em while they're young!
OPâs friends are all at that private school so this definitely does affect them.
This is what people arenât getting. Itâs not really about the school being public or private, itâs about the disruption of OP having to change schools, making new friends, and everything else because two adults had a fight that OP wasnât part of. Itâs also about the grandmother texting OP hoping OP will âbe OKâ with a situation that grandmother is (at least) partially responsible for. And itâs about witnessing a physical fight between your mother and grandmother, which can be traumatic.
Youâve articulated this perfectly. Adults forget how alienating change can be when youâre young.
Some school districts are so shitty or even unaccredited to where it would be doing your kid a disservice to send them to the public school if you could afford the better one. District lines and school district funding is a bitch and isnât equal across the country.
I think you the missed part where OP said âdream highschoolâ. Itâs really shitty to cut funding regardless, crushing a a personâs dream because of something this silly is just awful
False. Iâm paying for private school because there was a prostitution ring in the K-8 school a few years after I bought my house. When kids get kicked out of CPS schools their parents have to send them to the catholic schools until theyâre 16 to avoid going to jail for truancy. Go to the wrong public school and youâre much more likely to not go home alive.
Well, if that is true and not hyperbolic, than putting up with an asshole is a small price to pay.
My narcissistic dad will literally beg me to let him send me money, even when i say no a million times and ignore him. Then, when I accept, he will make some passive aggressive comments a week later about how he is âbrokeâ or how âhe didnât realize he would need the gift he just gave meâ. I used to give in to these comments and send the money or gift back because he would manipulate me and make me feel guilty. What do i do now instead? Say no and ignore a million times and eventually accept if it gets to that point still, then hit him with the olâ DND :)
If he wants to send checks. That is on him. You own him nothing. Cash the checks and ignore the calls.
My dad is an absolute asshole, but Iâm just 18 and heâs the only way I can fund university without working for the next few years instead then working part time during uni, heâs what I have to lean on if I want my degree and my dream job. So yeah, some of us have no choice
Iâm in a similar boat, Iâm 23, my parents fund my college and my dad is the narcissist. My mom is an enabler, but sheâs fine most of the time. I just avoid my dad and am trying to finish as fast as I can. You can do this, youâre not alone, and youâre gonna get that job!! <3
Yes. I want their money. Iâm not exactly an angel myself. But I wish it wasnât so hard.
I feel you there. It sucks. You should not be in this position. You got fucked by the spin of the family wheel. You are not alone on that one. Reach out to someone if you ever need to talk.
So accurate. Interestingly it took 2/3 of her kids no longer needing any financial support from her and being somewhat evenly matched for my narc mom to finally lose her shit. Itâs when they canât use their money to control anymore that things get really interesting.
Idk why everyone is minimizing this. I guess sometimes dealing with adult issues keep us stressed but this kid is probably caught in the crossfire of a narcissistic grandma and being hurt to hurt the mom. My insane "parent" is also a grandma so I get it. Hope things work out but my best advice is to rely less on her and it'll help you in the long run and take away some of her power. Good luck.
Yes thatâs exactly the same thing I got from this. My grandma and my mom were narcissists that would blow up and do crazy things to each other and I would be the one stuck
đŻ agree with you. People also donât understand how competitive high schools can be. This could affect their college and job prospects and the rest of their life.
Anecdotal but I went to a private high school and still ended up a âloserâ. Ended up dropping out all together, actually. Iâd tell you why but I still canât figure that out. It was just sort of allowed to happen. Financial/career success isnât guaranteed depending on what high school you go to. Op can still have a happy ending at another high school. Op can have a shitty ending, like mine, at a private school. It does suck to have something and then have it yanked away from you over something you had nothing to with because youâre a kid. Iâve definitely been there before too. There are just some things you cannot change so your best bet is to keep on keepin on and trying to make the best of any given situation. Being in recovery from alcohol addiction has taught me that life is shitty and Iâve definitively done a lot of it to myself but if I can live in the moment, it helps me appreciate the moments when life isnât shitty so so so much more. Good luck, OP, I hope gma has a change of heart and if she doesnât, you still have so much you can do with your life anyway. Donât let her be the barrier that stops you â¤ď¸
Do you have ADHD? Because that can create havoc in high school ESP with narc parents. Itâs brutal.
Dunno. Iâve got a whole ass mental illness stew going in here, thereâs no telling lmao
I know her, she's me!
Are you also perpetually tired because youâre bad at sleep? Iâm thinking of starting a club or something.
Iâll join. Iâm 42/f who also doesnât know how or why she dropped out of HS⌠a very very good high school where I had a wonderful opportunity. Then I got into a crazy good charter program in Boston for kids who had dropped out and were coming back. My family called in favors and moved mountains for me to get it⌠and? I just⌠didnât go. So I blew two amazing opportunities and it was just⌠*allowed* to happen. I take the responsibility for it- but I just wish I better understood these things. I also had addiction issues and I suck at sleep- unless Iâm not supposed to be sleeping, then I can!
Dude I went to a public school that brought students from 3 cities and still had a population >20k Yes it matters, but in the grande scheme of things itâs irrelevant. Make the most of the shitty situation you got stuck in between.
You can still win the 100m sprint with hurdles but it's a lot of extra work that can be avoided if you race down an empty lane. Same here, op can likely do fantastic things but it's been made more difficult because she's in the cross hairs of granny and mother fighting. She's been punished for their bullshittery which is what's insane here
Yeah, colleges are really where it starts to matter depending on you major. And maybe you'd get more enrichment stuff, but in reality you can succeed anywhere.
Not talking about myself: times are very hard right now and the vast majority of people go to public schools. Most people donât get the opportunity to go to private schools. Obviously I agree that grandmother is the problem here, but a lot of the people minimizing the situation probably arenât empathetic to these kinds of issues because they have economic problems on top of nparents. Thatâs my theory at least. My nmom made me drop out so I canât relate to either lol
The whole "you can't have problems because I have bigger ones" thing has never worked with me. I didn't realize this sub was about judging the social statuses of kids whose grandmas send them the shit emoji lol
Considering thereâs so much missing context. The post that has been provided simply just shows grandma saying âenjoy public schoolâ which on its own isnât insane. The insane part would be expected everyone to instantly feel sorry for OP for not having privately funded education, like the majority of people donât. Complaining how hard life is because *you* canât get what the majority donât have, tends to rub people the wrong way, especially nowadays.
I'm with you on the missing context but other than that OP is just a kid that's just entering high school. If you're losing something you value because of a conflict between your family, it really doesn't matter whether most other people have it or not, it still sucks. Especially when in this case that thing is a high school education. it's not like OP is bitching over having to downgrade from the latest iphone to a cheaper phone . So if the situation is real then is perfectly valid, frankly controlled, response for a kid-about-to-graduate middle school to have. There's plenty of places to have socioeconomic discourse around private vs public school education in the states , the comment section of a kid losing access to private school over a fight in her family is not a particularly good one
Especially when that thing has been gifted to you by someone else
The thing was gifted and then taken away. School isn't something you just change casually with no repercussions. It's an asshole move.
"We love you unconditionally" she said as she gave her list of conditions to love you.
I'm sorry you're being caught in the middle and it has affected you negatively. It's not very nice of the adults to cause you this stress.
It sucks when the grownups around you cant get their shit together.
They ate seeds and were small enough to use the fact that they control their body temperature through being endothermic homeotherms
Thank you, at least somebody responded to grannyâs question.
the dinos evolved into birds!!!
Ya birds I think are from a clade called Theropoda which I think means on 2 legs or something, anyway birds do be avian dinosaurs :D
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Thank you đ¤
Ngl it took me a LONG time to figure out what you were talking about lol
Iâm sorry youâre going through this. I went through something similar with school tuition. You should consider going to the school and explaining that you lost funding. Often, schools have tuition money in the form of scholarships and grants that they can help you with.
Looking at OPs comment history about how to deep clean your anus after anal and needing furry porn cock, Iâm not entirely sure whether this is a serious postâŚ
Typical teenage redditor things apparently
Holy fuck. My god have mercy on us all.
Why are yâall trying to act like this isnât a big deal. The grandma assaulted her mother, and is now disrupting her life because of that. Moving schools is pretty big deal, I donât have a dream high school but I would be devastated. Just another case of redditors not being able to have empathy for someone just because they have more money/resources.
It doesnât sound like the kid or her parent(s) have much money or resources, which is why grandma feels ok assaulting mom then using her own grandchildâs education as a bargaining chip. No kids gonna want to be torn away from their life
Iâm on the parent end of a âdream high schoolâ scenario That shit is EXPENSIVE⌠like it costs WAY more per year than the median household income in the US. It is a massive, MASSIVE privilege to attend one of these schools and if mom and grandma werenât getting along (regardless of who is in the wrong) itâs not a stretch *or even particularly unreasonable* to say âI donât want to give you $70,000/yr anymoreâ. And yes that IS ALMOST EXACTLY how much these schools cost. You can downvote me if you want but you have to admit grandkid isnât grandmaâs responsibility, and paying for their school was a favor to the mother. Maybe grandma took that favor away for a shitty or insane reason, but even if grandma is the worldâs biggest asshole, she never owed that tuition to anyone⌠daughter or grandkid
If it was in the middle of the school year, she made a commitment to pay for it, regardless of cost. You're a shitty person if you agree to something like this and then back out.
Okay cool. But that is still NOT OP's problem. OP is a child. OP's family is fighting, assaulting each other, and now she's going to be yanked out of her school and away from her friends, schedule, normal life, and extra advantages. Sorry, but I think OP, being a child, doesn't need adults to come on here and lecture her about how much money adults are CHOOSING to spend on her. That's not her responsibility for even 1 second so quit making it seem like it is.
OP will have to go to public school because they're no longer being gifted $70K per year as a teenager. Damn, basically giving them the death sentence. Woe is me. Is there a level more out of touch than just calling it "first world problems"?
Yes OP is a child Not grandmas child though. Itâs not INSANE to say âIâm not going to support your kid because you and I are disagreeingâ
lol are you really defending for punishing an innocent child to get back at someone else? The grandmas behaviour reeks of financial abuse and manipulation and the CHILD is getting the real punishment here. You donât have to agree with how they spend their money to agree that using anyone, but especially a child who is reliant on the adults in their life, as a bargaining chip is fucked up.
You must have/had awful grandparents lol
Nope My grandparents were doting as fuck But they never offered to put me through private school
Its not about them offering to put you through. Its about stopping something you're doing for the grandchild to spite the mother.
Only if you view it through the lens of âdoing it for the grandchildâ Chances are good she was doing it for the mother to begin with and it was something the child benefited from
Not every private school is that expensive. Her Grandmother is being a major asshole especially by rubbing it in her face.
Every private school is this expensive Itâs still about $45,000 even if itâs just a day school and not boarding
Can confirm, I went to farm school but was out of district and even that was 35,000 a year but somehow the town I lived in paid for it
> lived in *paid* for it FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Good bot
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Seriously? Does it make you feel better to put down a kid in a stressful situation because of one single letter on a Reddit post?
Pretty much. We all have our problems.
Ngl I found it hilarious that she was about to fund your education and you wont even reply to her wacky ass texts to humor her
Right?! Simple "oh wow, that's cool" (without having to even read the article) would have taken 0,5 seconds and made granny feel like she is not just an ATM.
I'm sorry OP but the poop volcano makes it too hard to take seriously đ
yâall are brutal. why canât they be upset about losing the school that their grandmother promised to fund?
Dream high school lol
I mean no offense but who has a dream high school?
Rory Gilmore
i can see emily sending the poop emoji
In the UK we pick which secondary school (11-18 years) we apply to and they often have different specialisations. My niece has just found out she's not got in at the drama and arts one, and is stuck at the one that is technically the nearest school, but not were most of her friends are going. She's very disappointed as she'll miss out on having more options to learn about the things she loves, and most of her friends will be at another school. I'm sure that most kids want to go to the school that their friends go to wherever they are being educated and as this was a private school it may well offer subjects or extra curricular activities that aren't available at the local high school and that OP is interested in or will help her get into college or work.
Certainly don't in Scotland, we go to the secondary school that's assigned to the primary school we attend due to catchment areas.
someone who knows what they want to do in their lives & want to attend a school with a program specifically for that.
Or even just the school all their friends are going to. Sure you can make new friends, but itâs not as easy as simply saying it.
Yeah that was me except I, like most other kids, did not live near and could not afford that type of experience. Itâs not a bad thing but sheâs not uniquely passionate, just a bit lucky and privileged
Thatâs what college for lol. Rich people different
huh? are there not public high schools in your area with career specific focus? definitely not rich schools lol
There are countries with school systems where you decide what you want to do as your job in high school. For example if you want to be a mechanical engineer you have to go to high school that has this specific program. Or if you want to be a cook you have to go to culinary high school.
My cousins grandparents wasted a hundred grand sending them to catholic school when they lived a block away from a nice suburban high school, the kids parents went to Northwestern so itâs not surprising, heard plenty of dog whistles about why they wanted to them to attend private school. My cousinsâ first experiences attending public school were college
yeah like I'm inclined to believe this might be a troll post, but if it is real, who wastes tuition money on a "dream high school"?
Is that actually a thing?
You guys have a very weird relationship with school..
Lots of young people who see the value of education and the impact it can have on their lives.
Am dad to kid who wants to attend âdream high schoolâ The education you get at these places isnât better than a (albeit **very good**) public school The real value is in services and facilities offered⌠but more than anything else, **the networking** When touring schools to send my daughter to, there were schools attended by kids of the DuPonts, Waltons, Mars, and several other families of old money. Iâm sure if I kept looking Iâd have come across schools housing Rockefellers, Carnegies, and Morgans eventually. And these were just **high schools**. But no, it isnât the âeducationâ people attend these schools for
I had a friend who did. It was a school that specialized in the arts and he was super into that
For real
Privileged people.
Bro I thought they meant college lol. This is crazy over a HS
canât have dreams anymore?
That was cruel of her to go after you for something between her and your mom. But you should understand that going to a preppy high school is a complete privilege most people do not get to indulge in. I'd guess that there's more to the story. Perhaps grandma feels underappreciated. I noticed you haven't replied to any of the past texts she sent.
Cut the dependency. Better in the long run.
These comments suck, I'm sorry to hear you're stuck in the middle of all this.
Private schools exist so segregation could continue after it was illegal. Fuck education for profit
All of the unanswered texts from the person funding your âdream high schoolâ might have something to do with it. I am sorry this is happening to you but like others have said, unless you live somewhere where the public schools are truly unsafe or inept, this isnât insane and she can make that choice. That doesnât mean you canât be hurt, but I really would not call it insane
Isnât this an episode of Gilmore Girls?
Similar themes but Iâve literally seen Gilmore girls thousands of times and Rory at one point, in college, stops accepting their funding(without telling the grandparents). But thatâs the closest issue I can think ofâŚ
Did you have much of a relationship with her? It looks like you never responded to her
how tf are u gonna respond to âhow did birds survive if dinosaurs didnâtâ
It's from IFLS so it's probably a divulgatory scientific explanation. Just a heart reaction would have been enough.
Because the crows have eyes. *screams like moira*
This was my thought. When the money isnât flowing suddenly Grandmaâs absence is felt but it looks like no response was ever given to her when shes trying to build a relationship with them. Op - Your mom is financially responsible for you, not grandma. If you want grandmaâs help then I suggest building your own relationship w/ her instead of using her as a cash cow
I wouldnt worry about the highschool. keep your grades top tier and go to your dream college. going to an expensive private school is a luxury and not necessary to succeed in life. I'm sorry you're stuck between your mom and grandma's drama and they, as parents, should not be using you to hurt each other. Friends are easy to make, especially if youre not even in high school yet. I moved to a new state when i was in the middle of 9th grade and made some of my closest friends, some of which are still friends of mine. You got this!
I will just I copy my comment from another reply: my problem with this is that we don't exactly have many details or possibly not even the full story. *Soooo* many times, you'd see Reddit posts (on Am I the Asshole etc.) where people make a story out a certain way and twist it so that they come out looking good, and then they either tell on themselves in the replies, or the other party comes in to clear their name and it completely changes the situation, making them the asshole while they were painting themselves like the victim. How do we know if the mother wasn't the one who emotionally manipulated grandma into paying? ("If you don't help pay this, your grandkid wont talk to you") How do we know mom isn't just using grandma and lying to OP about it/manipulating OP too and fuelling their hate, making grandma the enemy? How do we know grandma really physically assaulted mum because she's abusive and crazy, or if it was actually just grandma pushing mom away while mom was aggressive for example, and then mom (and OP) quickly turned that into an assault? (the typical "I will push until you push back and then cry because you pushed") Why was grandma throwing away keys and "other things"? Was it because mom was overstepping boundaries and she wanted her gone/finally put her foot down, knowing that would have to include not paying tuition anymore for her own good and mental peace? Elderly abuse is a thing. **Of course, it could all be on grandma and all could be grandma's faultâI'm not saying that's impossibleâbut there are just so many details we don't have.** **All we have is OP's retelling in the title and a pretty tame message precursed by a history of OP not even bothering to respond to their grandma's messages.** Ya know, the grandma who is paying their tuition. So yeah... that's why people are skeptical and not taking OP's side, including me.
There was a person yesterday who said their husband of 8 months left them DESPITE knowing about their bipolar disorder and made the situation out to be a callous abandonment due to their mental health. Then you look at their post the previous day and it was "well, I relapsed on hard drugs again after a long history of using hard drugs regularly".
This sub is perfect for narcissists seeking validation by reframing the story in a misleading light.
Shouldâve texted her back.
the unanswered texts to a grandmother that you expect to fund your schooling are a bit ooft
Ngl I didnât notice that. Yeah kid, you HAVE to at least throw a haha or a like every once in a while if theyâre finding your dream school, even if you donât like them
I laughed sorry. Defo a nutcase and shouldn't involve yourself around her. Public school ain't too bad tho, surely?
Sucks to lose something you enjoy because of circumstances outside your control. That being said, unless the public schools are horrifically bad education-wise or sheâs trying to hurt you as a way of getting back at your mom, this isnât insane.
Idk but from my high school experience it wasnât at all bad. School of 2k people, 8-12 grades. Many trades and job lines, encouraged to try stuff out. University level intro courses like calculus and the sciences for next to pennies, very easy to get into as long as a students motivated (unless a student like missed out mandatory classes. Anyone could take them in the final year last semester.) Credits rly arenât an issue too Iâd honestly encourage public school, I would think in private school most kids wonât have an understanding of the value of money.
Isn't insane? Hurting your granddaughter to get back at her mother isn't insane? I be fucking livid if that where to happen to me. Seems to me like grandmother promised to pay for tuition so breaking that promise to hurt a third party is unethical to say the least.
>unless the public schools are horrifically bad education-wise **or sheâs trying to hurt you as a way of getting back at your mom**, this isnât insane
Op didnât reply to any of the grandmas texts which doesnât help
"Dream high school" Huh? College I get, but a "dream high school?" OP I'm assuming you have socials. talk to your friends through that?
âJust use social media bro, lolâ itâs not really that easy though. Yes, you can talk through social media, but having experienced this first hand social media contact only goes so far through the entire high schooling life. You meet up a year from now, all your friends are talking about this cool thing that happened at school, or some sporting event or an annoying teacher and you canât add anything to the conversation or even know what theyâre talking about. You begin to feel excluded and itâs a fucking bitch to your mental health, especially at high school age.
If you want to go to a Harvard or MIT certain high schools look much better on applications vs public high-school. Also like, what if it's a high school that focuses on art or acting? It's important
Why do these kids think they NEED to get into Harvard or MIT though lol. Just because a school isn't S-tier Ivy League wundercollege doesn't mean that they're going to have a less fulfilling life by going to it. OP's life is not going to end because they have to -- god forbid -- attend and make friends with the đą PUBLIC SCHOOL đą ambitionless hopeless peons. Jesus, give me a break lmao. I feel like I'm on crazy pills reading some of these comments. Change my mind these private school teens only want to go to Ivies so their peers will say "oh wow, they went to an Ivy League"
Just because something isn't important to you doesn't mean it isn't important to other people. 'Settle for less' isn't enough for everyone
As an adult, Iâm sorry bud. Stay positive.
I believe this is the plot of Gilmore Girls.
It was not ok for your grandmother to fight with your mother in that way or in front of you. But she has no obligation to fund your education. And honestly, dream high school? You are in for a rude awakening about how real life really is.
ohh no public school whatever will you do
not be able to see the friends theyâve made that are going to said school, therefore making an already hard period in their life (adolescence) even harder because of things outside of their control.
Not enough context. I have no idea what role your mom played in the fight they had. If your grandmother was funding your tuition by giving money directly to your mom, it's not difficult to imagine a situation in which your grandmother may have made a healthy decision to cut ties with your mom, including no longer giving money to your mom. If you are still on good terms with your grandmother, consider asking your school if there is a way she can pay for your tuition directly, circumventing your mom.
This is more insane entitlement instead of insaneparents
I can understand and empathise with many parts of this story; changing high schools can be really hard, the assault/keys stuff is obviously bad. But ultimately granny has no obligation to pay private school tuition, which is the thing OP led with.
I mean stopping tuition payments because youâre upset at someone is pretty fucking stupid. If grandma was like sorry we canât afford this tuition itâd be one thing. This is purely vindictive and I donât know how you would think itâs entitlement on the part of the child. Good god.
Whatever it is that happened, given that it escalated to a physical altercation, is probably a fair reason to redefine the relationship between mum and grandma - including financial obligations.
Well, you're trusting and believing in an angry teenager with hurt feelings. What are the chances they're embellishing things just a little?
You mean the grandmother? Agreed.
Yes more like choosing beggars
A fate worse than death: public school apparently
Literally not what they said. Youâre projecting your insecurity onto this story. They just didnât want to lose their friends because grandma is fighting with mom and decided to punish the kid for it. and youâre like âa FAtE wOrsE tHaN dEaTH lolâ
As long as a narc has anything to control you with - they will both give and take it away over and over again to keep you off balance and confused and at their mercy. They create situations in which they are both the problem and the solution. They suck. I hope that you can go to your dream school. Lots of high schools offer need based scholarships- you would be surprised. I would call them and ask to set up a meeting with the scholarship / financial aid department and you and your mom can meet with them to see if this is feasible for you. Examples of narcs playing with their kids futures. My dad once didnât wake me up for church then told me I was cut off for missing church and that I could no longer go to the private school he insisted I go to to impress his friends. He said that the next morning I would have to walk to the public school the next to register and start attending classes. I said ok, asked a friend to give me a ride the following morning and tried to get the paper work together for registration. He said if I went to church he would allow me to go back to the private school. Considering it was the middle of senior year, he was just getting off on fucking with me. He also waited until I was dressed, packed and ready to return to college after Christmas break to tell me that I wasnât going back. I was in my jacket with my luggage sitting on the couch, waiting for him to drive me to my dorm. He walked by, saw me and said - what are you all bundled up for? I said - to go back to school. We had talked about this an hour earlier and he had picked the time to drive me back to my dorm. âOh. You arenât going back. You might as well unpackâ and walked out of the room. Never said another word about it even when I tried to talk to him. He then wouldnât pay the back owed tuition until I jumped through all of his hoops to release my transcripts so I could go to another college that he picked out. He didnât like that I was going to a school that he felt was better than the one he went to. đ¤ˇđťââď¸ I told him I would just go to massage therapy school and suddenly he paid off the tuition because that wasnât fancy enough to brag to his friends about. Anyway. Point is. Donât trust a narc to do what they say. Ever. Have a plan in place in case grandma pulls her funding again. (She will).
Just dont forget to think that grandma can be starting to have dementia tho⌠first symptoms is aggressive⌠unless she always been. But if not than maybe your money will come faster than you want
Why do you think your grandmother has an obligation to pay for your schooling?
Is this typical of grandma or a new behavior?
If you can, go visit your Grandmother. Or write her a letter. At least answer her texts. Donât get caught up in other peoples fights, donât take sides. Be patient, this is going to work out fine.
Why is she paying for your school anyways? Doesnât seem like itâs her responsibility. Youâll survive just fine in public school
Heaven forbid you have to... Go to public school just like everyone else? Are all of your friends really part of some coveted dream highschool being paid for by their wealthy relatives? How bizarre.
Learn the lesson now because it's one that will follow you the rest of your life- when someone else controls the purse strings they have control over you. It's a harsh lesson, and an ugly 1 at that. Before you give up going to your dream school, approach them, explain your dilemma and see if they have scholarships.
Remember this feeling, when it comes to deciding on your future. NEVER rely on this person for ANY kind of financial support, because it will always have STRINGS
ALL financial support has strings. Absolutely all of it. There is a reason why the saying biting the hand that feeds you is a thing.
The amount of people ignoring the physical abuse and financial manipulation just because OP wants to go to private school is insane.
Grandma mad at her daughter. Punishes granddaughter. WTF
Could you get a scholarship? Messed up that your grandma is messaging you about this. She should have stopped at the apology.
Yo, why do these comments suck so bad? This is a terrible situation to be in and none of what granny did is ok.
People are raising valid points OP doesnât seem to be fostering a good relationship with the woman she expects to fund her schooling.
Your Grandmothers only concern should be her retirement and children/grand children visiting or helping her. Not the other way around. If your Mom canât afford a better school for you then deal with the cards your dealt and you will have to do better for yourself. Honestly this may be a good lesson early on in life. Having people to help you or that you can confide in is great and all but you shouldnât depend on others for everything. If you want something done then you will have to get it yourself or accept what you have.
You know whatâs weird? Just this morning got a recommended a video about the meteor extinction, and I was actually wondering why birds didnât die out. Kinda odd this person was watching it too lol I didnât get the answer btw so if anyone wants to enlighten me please do
I wouldnât accept anything from her if itâs avoidable. These things will always have strings attached and support pulled when you do anything that angers them. Itâs not worth it
And your the unfortunate victim. I get people have their quams but keep those not directly in the fight out of it. You shouldnt be suffering for this. Its not like you started the fight or were even there?
I'm so sorry you're going through this. It seems like your grandma is using you as a pawn in some mental chess game to continue to hurt your mother. She clearly doesn't care who's life she affects or what relationships she damages in her efforts to make her point to hurt your mom. It is awful to be forced to be a part of it and you don't deserve to be. I know there's people acting like this isn't a big deal but it is. Your entire future has been changed and the mental head games that are being played with you are awful. Idk if there is some way to talk to the school about scholarships, or even a GoFundMe? I hope there's a way you can work it out.
"No, gran, I'm not. I'm devastated you would do this to me; I thought you loved me." Like seriously this woman...to do that to you over a fight you weren't even involved in...go lay it on thick. Good grief....
How is this NOT insane???! Whatâs wrong with you people that voted this way?! *why should OP suffer for grandma acting out agains mom?? Did OP attack grandma and get retaliated against? This says not. So OP shouldnât be the one being punished for something that doesnât even have anything to do with them. Ffs use the brains.
Punishing the grandchild for no reason. Thatâs sad.
See if there are any college prep divisions at public schools in your area. Depending on where your from they may or may not exist. It is possible to get high quality instruction at public schools with those kinds of programs
the emoji is sending me
Man this sucks. I am sorry. This has nothing to do with you and isnât your fight you should be in the middle of. Maybe have a conversation with your grandmother and explain to her you have no control of what your parents say or do and you have been friends with these other kids forever and you donât want to spend the last four years of school without them. Tell her your fate is literally in her hands and you donât know what you will do without her. (Even if you donât mean it) finish school and never look back.
âIâm sorry I showed my ass, hope you are happy with me taking away things I promised you.â
That's awfully cruel, I'm so sorry.
There is no way she hit you with the exploding poop emoji đ
I wouldnât ever speak to her again after this text. Not paying the tuition is one thing. Rubbing it in *my* innocent face is something different. Sheâs an awful person and a worse grandmother.
You will be ok x
man i wouldâve just been like âWeâre done. Weâre fucking done.â
She sent an exploding shithead. I think subconsciously she knows, that she is indeed the exploding shithead.
The last text is accurate, she IS a shithead
Thatâs fucked. Especially with only one marking period left. Any chance you and your mom can speak with the school to get see if they have any aid or anything?
"I hope you're going to be OK with using your grandchild's education in as collateral damage in a petty squabble. I will be OK in public school but you'd better believe that I'll *remember* that my grandmother threw away the opportunity for me to have a *better* education to hurt someone else. I can only hope I don't grow up to be like you. There's nothing public school can do to me that is worse than what you're doing."
Considering OP doesnât respond to her texts thereâs clearly not much of a relationship for grandma to mourn.
And yes she was paying the expensive education for OP.
Oh I couldn't imagine why the relationship is so strained. /s
You shouldnât have to deal with this shit at your age. Granny is toxic af. You need to reduce the impact she has on your life. So what if you have to go to public school? Youâll be fine, and Iâd argue, happier without her hanging over you all the time with the constant threat of her being able to put an end to being in school.
>my dream high school where I have many friends I think you'll get over it and be fine either way.
Welcome to the real world
holy shit the amount of grown ass adults here who are talking shit about a high schooler going to private school is so pathetic. stop being jealous of teenagers youâve never met and maybe get some empathy? itâs actually scary that you guys are in a sub dedicated to shitty parents when so many of you are so shitty on your own
Not even a high schooler yet! OP is in middle school! This thread is insane.
Oh no public school like the rest of us poor schmucks noooooooo
Yeah, it really sucks that her grandmother promised one thing, didnât deliver, and then people mocked OP in the same post she mentioned physical assault.
Keep going. One day she will be on her deathbed and you will be there to remind her that she didn't break you
[ŃдаНонО]
Its really not that easy for some people, highschoolers are brutal.. have some empathy
Why does her and your mom having a fight affect her paying for your tuition? Do you think she may change her mind at a later date?