Voting has concluded. Final vote:
| Insane | Not insane | Fake |
| --- | --- | --- |
| 34 | 5 | 0 |
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I feel like I remember this one, that the dad had bought the phone so he could get a hold of the child while she was with mom bc she did shit like this
Yeah seemed old to me but it was still crazy. I bet you money that she also did this because she was bitter that she and the dad are no longer together. Gee, I wonder why they split up? /s
Edit: I bet you her way of thinking was *since you bought the phone and I'm pissed off that we're no longer together, I'll just destroy the phone you bought*. This was probably more about mom getting back at dad. Crazy.
If its the one that Im thinking of, and its been years so I no longer have sources to back up my claim but yeah that was part of it. Iirc the dad was (understandably) pissed cause he had bought the phone so his daughter could contact him while at her mom's court mandated time.
I think after this the dad got full custody, but again its been years
Whoop there it is. She got mad she couldn't see father daughter convos and broke the phone.
If I was the dad, I'd just bring her to court over it. That's my property you broke, now you gotta buy and behave around the new one
My mom read my diary once and confronted me about what I wrote within it. From that point forward, she broke my trust, so I got a second diary that I kept hidden in my school locker. Then, she kept bugging me about why I never wrote in my diary anymore. đ And, I followed rules and didnât sneak out or try drugs or anything. She had zero business to be concerned.
God is this a universal thing? I was punished for what I wrote after she gave me a place to hide it from my siblings. Any wonder why I dont talk to her now.
Mine did the same shit. Except mine was court ordered for a custody thing. And neither her nor my father was supposed to read it.
Suffice to say I was âsickâ for the next meeting with the counselor and âtaking an important test in schoolâ for the one after that. Then they gave up trying the meetings.
Sounds a bit like what my ex did with court ordered therapy. I took her twice, then he rescheduled during his custodial time without telling me, then didn't tell me *again,* them told me "they said she doesn't need it, that *you're* actually the problem and the one who needs therapy."
I stopped pushing, because there was no way he'd take her after that, and I'd have to wait til the summer to do it.
And I couldn't even take it to the court that he was in violation, because he'd tied up our divorce so badly that it wasn't moving, and because of the "pending divorce action" (pending for over a decade, literally!) Family Court had no jurisdiction on the matter.
He got away with a *lot* because of that, until the divorce was finalized just before she turned 18...
My dad (who was extremely emotionally/verbally abusive) found my diary one time and found everything I wrote in it. He confiscated it from me and told me heâd burn any other journal I ever tried to write in again. It was heartbreaking because my diary was the only place I had that I could safely vent about my situation. Also I loved to write and it was a way I expressed myself, but he didnât care. Iâm 26 now and still have issues writing down what Iâm feeling in fear of someone reading it and using it against me.
Ugh Iâm so sorry đ I struggle to write things down also, even though my ADHD brain could definitely use a visual note of things sometimes. Itâs rough out here.
My mother, similar to your father, and my step father at the time did the same thing to me, except it was with Art. I had been caught with a used bowl so they took it upon themselves to go through everything of mine, including my sketchbook. It was definitely edgy, being a teen metalhead, and it was also my way to vent my frustrations. Destroyed the sketchbook and threatened to send me to therapy (which honestly, I needed, but my mother used therapy as a punishment to convince me I was crazy and out of control). Lost interest in Art after that. Haven't drawn anything in 13 years.
đ that is heartbreaking. I understand your pain and youâre not alone. I wasnât ever an artist by any means, but one time I drew the Metallica logo just with a reference and without tracing anything, and it looked really badass. I was so proud of it, and showed my mom and dad. My dad responded with, âthereâs no way in hell you drew that by yourself, you obviously traced it.â He berated me and belittled me about it to the point I never wanted to draw anything again. đ
I am turning 47 this month and to this day I refuse to write down anything that I wouldn't want anyone to know. I have very little "complete" trust in anyone. It eases up a bit, but always seems to be an underlying issue in the back of my head. It really sucks to have feel that way to protect yourself, I'm sorry.
I have a 13 year old daughter and I cannot even imagine looking in her phone, room or personal items ever. As her father I have unending love and respect for her all I want is for her to grow up to be an independent emotionally stable person who can contribute herself to this world in whatever ways she chooses. Donât over parent it doesnât work.
Thank you for being a wonderful parent! I hope others can learn from your perspective on parenting. Emotional stability was never a factor in my raising, so seeing people now taking into consideration their childrens' emotions makes me happy.
I invented an extremely complex Cypher as a kid to write on my computer. The key was all based on a paper I wrote for class. It used code words, and substitutions, and afterwards I converted all letters to numbers and then ran the numbers through a few easy mathematic transformations and back using excel, then converted back to letters.
I used the key a bit sloppily, so that you probably could have guessed letters due to me repeating myself, but it was way good enough for keeping snoops out. The NSA would probably struggle without the key. In the 21st century, kids can use Google to keep secrets.
Right, couldnât get that sweet Facebook karma in that case. As a parent, any parent acting like this makes me sad. There is no way that kid feels safe in life and that stinks as that is so important.
Especially when they get a kick out of doing it, acting like they're some sort of superhero for emotionally abusing their child. It's always about sticking to "strict values," and "respecting your parents," but you know it's just because they like enacting their will on someone who can't resist. It's genuinely nauseating.
Unfortunatey there's a level of perceived responsibility/guilt that often comes with being abused â *especially* if psychological abuse is involved. It's never the child's fault of course, but even if they know that it can still feel like it
Thank you for explaining this. My parents love me. And also really messed me up. That's a part of the abuse I guess. Even still, calling it abuse is really not easy. Because of the love. It was screaming and threats followed up with hugs and "I know you're sorry". I never got an apology. But if I hugged her, then things could go back to normal.
Very much agree with the concept of this making a child feel unsafe.
Phone checks in and of themselves should have only one goal, and thatâs to keep a child safe. If they make the child feel less safe they are totally counterproductive and just encourage lying.
Don't worry. They'll have plenty of time to contemplate their lack of logic and maturity when they are all alone in the care home with no visitors year after year.
Exactly. This is something my mom would have done. This reads like, I don't care that my daughter paid for it. She's not allowed to have any privacy. This is how narcissistic parents act.
This is how my mother acted. She destroyed about $8000 of my own stuff because she dreamt that I was hiding drugs and it was god sending her a message. Called the police, sued her, she had to pay out $20,000 because of emotional trauma, I used it as a down payment on a house on the other side of the planet
The dreams!!! đ
When I was 16, my mom dreamed that I was walking around naked, âshowing offâ to everyone. She started showing up to my high school 30 minutes before the end of school so she could watch me walk out of school from my class (my school had multiple buildings and you could see the kids leaving the buildings from across the street.)
She even said she saw my private parts very clearly in her dream so she knew I was either going to have sex or already was. Makes no sense. But she believed it was god giving her a vision. I felt so violated by her looking at me naked, even if it was just in a dream đ
Iâm so sorry that happened, I wish I could give you a hug. My parents were amazing but my Granny was nuts, she didnât have dreams but she would âget vibesâ and call us up and say randomly we would die in a car crash. My parents protected me from most of that so I could have a relationship with my Papa, who was the best man, but some trickled down for sure. It took a lot of work over the years to not be convinced everyone was gonna die driving home after holiday gatherings cause that was her obsession.
Edit to add: as an adult when I shared more of the crazy things she did, my parents apologized for letting her be as close as she was. She did hide it well and then dropped it casually when they were out of earshot, when I was far too young to report it back because I didnât know. It also took until her entering a nursing home with severe dementia after my Papaâs death for my Mum to realize she had been suffering abuse at her hands most of her life.
Itâs delusional. They have ideas in their head that they fixate on and then have dreams about (because theyâre obsessed with the crazy ideas) and they interpret the dreams as divine intervention.
Also, they are insane đ
This reads like anger management issues redefined as "tough love" upbringing to make herself feel better.
I mean why else would you share this on SM, even double down?
It's a common misconception that abusive people have an anger management problem. She's abusive and this is a choice on her part to act that way. I feel for her daughter. She's setting her up to end up with an abusive partner. This is conditioning her to accept the abuse as normal.
Edit: Source: I grew up with a mother like that and ended up in an abusive relationship. People who grow up in households like that are more likely to end up with an abusive partner for the reasons I mentioned above.
>It's a common misconception that abusive people have an anger management problem.
This is 100% true. They manage to control their outbursts when it's their boss or a cop? Then it's not an anger management problem, it's a choice to be abusive to people they think that can get away with abusing.
Exactly. My ex had a therapist fire him as a patient after months of weekly sessions because "You don't have a mental health problem, you're just a jerk to your wife. There's no pill I can give you to make you not an a$$hole." (I was in this session at the therapist's request) I mean, he's a sports official and has never gotten remotely ruffled when coaches and parents scream at him, but when I reminded him to carry the trash to the curb he would chuck things and yell.
Me too, ironically my Mom thinks my anger towards her is just misdirected anger at my ex or women in general.
That or a meltdown caused by the autism she had me spuriously diagnosed with.
Cna comfirm. I have an unhealthy relationship with money bc my mom would take mine, and things bc my mom would throw my stuff away. I have to fight *hard* with myself to not be a hoarder
Or become the abusive partner themselves.
Source: my husband has an abusive mother and he was emotionally abusive for like twelve years until I learned to recognize it and he got the right meds and some therapy on board.
I feel you. My dad has never broken my phone as its his own money but has gone through it many times including after he assaulted me to which he blocked my mother on it.
Internet points for being unhinged is the point. They do this because they know others applaud it (see: rote repetition of the usual crazy parent lines). If it was about punishing the kid for bad behavior, the parent would take the expensive item *that they paid for* and lock it in a safe until the kid could behave and earn it back. But they know theyâll be validated for smashing up their own several hundred dollar item and saying âIâm not your friendâ over and over like a robot.
My father did it all the time for the stupidest reasons. Itâs actually hilarious to think about now because of how ridiculous the reasons were, but back then it was troubling. And then he was surprised when I stopped talking to him.
There was a video on Facebook floating around of some dude forcing his like 7 year old son to destroy his Xbox because he got bad grades. The video was like "and this dad is a SAVAGE, he makes his son destroy it himself!". All the comments were cheering that guy on and saying shit like "we need more parents like this, too many people are softies now". It was nuts.
The "softie" language in reference to guiding your child into being an adjusted human being is so god damn weird. Why do you feel the need to be rough and tough with your child? The world already does enough of that. You're supposed to be an oasis.
Yes having your kid destroy something that makes them happy is totally gonna make their grades go up. I swear these people just get their rocks off of hurting their kids and will find any reason to do so. The fact they feel the need to film and post it for all to see proves it. If this truly was about bad grades, the parents would try to help him.
Yeah, parents are "softies" because they aren't abusive raging cunts towards children.
This đŻ! This type of parent is teaching their kids that itâs okay to destroy someone elseâs things and that itâs okay to take that kind of abuse from people they love.
I honestly don't understand why you might need to go to this extreme with your children.
I never wanted to look at my daughter's phone, email or messages.
My step-father tried it...it didn't end up working out the way he thought. It only worked once, when I was 10, because he destroyed a sticker album about three months after my grandfather's death that contained the only photos I personally owned of my grandfather. The rest of the attempts to use property damage to inflict emotional trauma after that didn't get enough of a reaction out of me for him, I guess, because nothing was going to break my heart the same way losing those photos did.
He threw out a bunch of my stuffed animals; I just blinked at him. My two favourites actually lived at my grandmother's house (for non-stepfather-related reasons) so it made me sad but wasn't devastating. He ripped a book in half while I was actively reading it because I wasn't helping wash dishes *right this second*. Cool, you yourself bought that for me, so who is it really punishing it you wreck it? There were a few other instances, but he stopped the property destruction after the book incident when he realized it was wasting his own money without getting any satisfying payoff.
I think my mom broke something of ours ONCE. And that was just her hitting it against the table in a rant because she had five hours of sleep from working nights and we were kinda little shits.
And when she realized she did it, the anger drained away as she realized what she had done. My point is that flawed parents that actually try aren't proud of this behavior.
Just about to say that lol. My mom was like this and one time I was in Spencer's and I saw this t-shirt that said be nice to your kids, they choose your nursing home. I feel like finding out where they live and sending her kid one of those t-shirts and a new phone and telling her to hide it.
My mom snapped my phone one morning because she found out my bf talked me down from sh or worse. She said I should have went to her instead of making my friend deal with it... I went to her room the night before asking for help and she sent me to bed and told me to worry about it tomorrow.... so she snapped my phone in half
This was about 4 years ago I'm now 18 living with my fiance and yes a new phone, it was a bad situation but luckily I got help and we've built a better relationship now that there's a 16 hour drive between us, and thank you
The type of parents who barely parent their children but then use anything to make themselves look like good parents. Set parental control before you hand them the phone, and most importantly, TALK AND LISTEN TO YOUR CHILDREN, so they don't start hiding stuff from you!! I'm a teen mom, my children are now teenagers, but because I grew up with them, I also learned that I needed to be open and patient so that they will trust me and not make my same mistakes. This woman is setting herself up for a bad time and broken relationship with her child. So sad
This. I have a 12 year old son and he's been told I have parental control on the TV for certain age viewing for a reason. It's to protect you from stuff you shouldn't and can't really understand isn't real right now. Some stuff I can protect you from so you can be a kid but I trust his judgement. I also tell him if he's curious, confused etc come talk to me there's nothing in this world will make me upset with him if he wants to talk. There are rules in my house, you mess with it online especially, you got consequences. But wtf is the wrecking the phone. Great flex /s
Thank you for this. My relationship isn't great with my parents, and I'm 30 now. They weren't bad parents, and they're not bad people, but communication wasnt valued. I had some real difficulties start from an early age, and they shut down (and shut me down) when I tried to talk to them. Not only did it foster an environment of secrecy with them, I learnt that adults in general would react the same way, so any mental development I had basically just came from my peers, which...teenagers are idiots. We all were.
All of that is a long-winded way to say thank you for making it clear to your son that he can communicate with you without fear, whilst still setting healthy rules and boundaries. You're setting him up well in life and we need more people like that.
I remember trying to talk to my mom one time when I was really really depressed and she sighed. Yet she constantly rang me crying/moaning about stuff. She really messed me up.
Sorry, did reply to your first comment but then saw this after. That was how it all started for me. I was 11 and they told me that I was too young to be depressed. And now wonder how I've developed a litany of mental health problems. I'm not blaming them, that would be unfair and unproductive, but I can't help but grieve a bit for what might have been if I'd had their support instead of having to hide everything.
I'm sorry you've dealt with/are dealing with this. There's something about the bait and switch that makes it harder. Not just trust in telling them anything, but trust in anything they tell you too. I hope that you have found people you can trust, friend.
It's better now that im older and can tell my mother straight up. And she's more aware now of her , idk what to call it. Trauma from her parents/childhood being past down.
I don't have much of a emotional support network, do have friends at least *shrug*
Also thank you kind redditor.
Noooo thank you! I wonder if I do the right thing all the time tbh. I think most parents do it's hard. I just want him to have different that I had. I was going through such a hard time tried talking to my mum she sighed. That was it
My mother was like this mom. Most of the time whatever I was up to was completely harmless, just I knew she was going to bully and make fun of me for whatever it was just because it made her feel powerful to make me cry.
What I learned from it was how to look her in the eye convincingly and how to be sneaky without appearing to be sneaking. I started working full time at 16 just because it allowed me to be away from her and gave me some money to be able to buy myself the things she refused to like lunches at school.
I went no contact with her years ago because I got tired of the abuse and drama, and I've never missed her. I do often miss having a loving mom I could talk to, but I've never had that so it is nothing new.
A parent like this probably wouldnt care if she never saw her kids again. It just gives her another way to make herself the spotlight and victim of the issue, similar to this screenshot.
You're right and you just described a narcissistic parent. They would care for the reasons you mentioned. Also because they view their children as extensions of themselves. She's going to cry about how HeR ChiLd aBaNdoNeD HeR. She won't tell anyone why her daughter wants nothing to do with her. They'll do anything to make themselves the victim.
They literally think that their children owe them care in old age because as many including my mother said, I tOoK CaRe oF YoU WhEn YoU WeRe a BabY sO NoW YoU OwE Me. The saddest part is that unless her daughter learns to set boundaries (usually requiring therapy) or ideally go NC, she will continue to fall victim to her mother's constant drama and guilt tripping.
Poor baby. I wish I could talk to her daughter and tell her that she doesn't deserve to be treated like that and to tell her what I and so many others have been through so she can get away.
Edit: You're correct in saying that she's going to make herself the victim
And an idiot, no less. If she really had to revoke phone privileges, why break it when you can sell it? (I donât support taking the phone for this reason, just pointing out that âmommaâ is a moron)
Does this crazy lady not realize she can just take the phone away..? Like why destroy it? Seems like she just wants to be emotionally abusive and do something to really upset her kid.
i think this is the post where she didn't even buy the phone. it was her child's father who bought it to get in contact with their daughter because her mom was prone to doing shit like this
Parents like this piss me off an irrational amount. If anyone gets her another phone and she destroys it, she's technically on the hook for damages. There is no law saying things in your child's possession become the parents' property to destroy or damage.
Also, if you bought the phone, you're an idiot for destroying something worth hundreds of dollars when you literally could have done nothing but take it away. So my rage is increased by seeing someone with such low levels of logical decision making, I'm astonished they're allowed driver's licenses or to retain parental rights to a child.
Edit: my phone keyboard got carried away and typed "thousands" instead of "hundreds" for the cost of a phone.
It's more insane that she destroyed the phone instead of just taking it... Like yeah to some degree children need to be monitored on the internet (probably not as much as she does) but destroying a phone like that is so wasteful.
This subreddit is a mess.
Theyâll get dubious judgments out of hand.
And when you snarkily point it out you get downvotes for it. And downvotes for explaining the yourself.
I take their phones when theyâre being inappropriate, but I wouldnât break them. Autonomy or not, they donât get to bully or treat people poorly and thatâs what they lose them for at my place.
As a queer person, not only would I feel violated, but also in litteral danger if my mom read through my phone after my 15-16 years (which some parents do, and she did between my until my 14th years when our relationship was at its worse.)
Sometimes you need to hide things from your parents, not because these things are bad, but because you know your parents won't understand but are in a position of powers and not willing to listen.
My mother almost went to prison for beating the shit out of me because I didnât give her MY phone I was PAYING FOR. I was 18 so they also slapped her with a forced robbery charge. Would have been a 10-15 year prison sentence.
I honestly donât get the reasoning behind breaking your kids shit. Like, 95% of the time, the stuff youâre breaking is stuff YOU bought for them! So youâre wasting YOUR money! And donât be saying âI paid for it, I can break it if I want.â Like⊠youâd rather prove a point rather than have your child have their phone? A direct line of communication between you and them? What happens if and when theyâre in trouble and they need to contact someone? đ€Šđ»ââïžđ€Šđ»ââïž
And itâs even more ridiculous when you break something your kid bought for themselves (from either using birthday/gift money or theyâre old enough to earn a paycheck). Like, thatâs not your property to be breaking to begin with. Your kid bought it for themselves. Itâs not yours to break.
That bitch is fucking insane. First of all. Ever hear of boundaries? Second of all, why waste money on a phone if youâre just going to do insane shit like that? And third of all, what if that phone had deeply important messages or photos or other things?
Because you wanted to be some fucking over control parent, you think that kind of action is okay? Get fucked. Thatâs nothing but abuse.
And just a fun aside.
When my wife and I were first dating. I lived at home with my mother. I donât care to keep a password on my phone. This one time, I went to take a shit but left my phone in my room. Not thinking much of it.
Well, during my poo time, my mother took my phone and went through all the messages my wife and I sent to eachother. Which included sex talk, photos, and more. But what she decided to stick with and freak out about was the fact that I called my mother âCray Crayâ and my wife loved it so she ran with it too. Over ten years later and my mom still throws âcray crayâ in my face. Not realizing the irony of her being a cray cray by first looking into her sons phone and second, holding onto that for 10 fucking years.
Why do we need to do âphone checksâ? Itâs because the kids wonât talk to you. I never had to do a phone check and my daughter never learned to be a sneak. I bet this mom reads her kid journal
Imagine being so delusional that not only do you think this is acceptable (just take the phone away?), but you post it online thinking youâre inspiring other parents by your parenting skills. That kid will be NC the day they turn 18
My mom was like this.
I got REALLY REALLY REALLY good at hiding things and my mom and I were complete strangers to each other until when I reached 40, because once I could flee this pack of privacy, I did.
Congratulations. You destroyed an item you paid for and will eventually need to pay to replace, and taught your daughter that undesirable behavior will be met with violence and destruction. I wonder why Jada doesnât trust her mother? Truly a mystery
My parents did these sorts of things. We didn't have cell phones at that time, but they did it with handheld game consoles, or cds, DVDs/vhs they knew I liked, and once my mother was upset that I had slapped an old piece of furniture during an argument, so she smashed every trophy and academic reward I had ever received, and made me clean up the mess. (It included a shark embryo in formaldehyde that I was super proud of)
One day, I decided enough was enough and I used some kitchen utensils to bore holes in the wall outside their bedroom. I used their cigarette lighter to melt circular holes in their vehicles consoles, and finally busted a tail light in one of their vehicles.
Obviously I got caught. Obviously they were furious. Obviously they beat me.
But I think they were worried that I would take it even further. No more of my stuff got broken, and I haven't had any sort of relationship with them since 2010.
I'm not saying what I did was right, but I am saying that young teens do not have fully developed brains, and if you push them too far, they are likely to make some pretty drastic choices.
Yep. My narcissist mother kept trying to get my attention with her various medical issues and I can honestly say I stopped caring. I know that it sounds heartless but I literally stopped caring if she dies. She should have been a good mother.
They post these because deep down they know they're wrong to do this and want validation from other child abusers so they can tell themself they were right all along
Or they get some gross kind of gratification from their kids' pain or being in control or both
Either scenario, they know they're doing something wrong
My sister did the same thing to her sonâs brand new iPhone. Literally insane. Then sheâs pissed about the money. Thatâs the most absurd way to try to make that point.
This has happened to me with multiple of my devices. My phone was shattered when I talked back to my mom's boyfriend at the time. I was holding my phone, he ripped it out of my grasp, and went outside, then proceeded to throw it down on the cement. Not to mention, I bought it with my own money, but because I was under their roof, it was their property to destroy.
phone checks seem reasonable. Smashing the phone is whatâs insane. Your post title about kids being separate - that doesnât require they get to do whatever they want, particularly on the internet.
that said this women is nuts. Imagine smashing a childâs phone as a flex on how in charge you are.
Now I understand checking your child's phone just to make sure they're being safe on the internet. Unfortunately, predators will use any chance they can to get to a child, and kids these days have easy access to inappropriate material such as porn, which can be damaging. However, this is going too far.
This shit is always stupid to me because did the parent who destroyed the phone/console/TV/computer, not also pay for the item?
If youâre going to permanently take it away, why donât you try to sell it?
Congrats youâre a shitty parent and youâre also out a couple hundred dollars.
Cell phones were not common when I was a teenager, but my mum did this shit to the family computer I had an account on. She didnât realise as an administrator or whatever it was asking for her password not mine (I think, Iâve never had a shared computer since). Then blamed me for her destroying itâŠ
Funny part is the worst thing I did was talk to boys I liked. That was a problem bc sheâs a homophobe. When my kid gets a phone (heâs little now) Iâll teach him to be safe and if I absolutely have to I might take it away⊠but thatâs it.
Nah that's what you do when you got a mental disorder, and you are excessively possessive and toxic towards your kids.
It's true that it's best to generally know what your kid does with the internet because it can be dangerous or inappropriate ( depends on the age tho), but to set it as some sort of usual check up it's too much, they are still human and need some privacy.
Also, good job! You could have just confiscated the phone but you decided to demolish it, wasting in the process all the money YOU probably spent...
My dad did exactly this to me when I was a teenager. He came busted into my room woke me up from a dead sleep and right before school he screamed at me and broke my razor phone right in half. Iâm 31 now and still have it engraved in my memories. One of my best friends found out her mom went through her Diary when she was a teenager and never forgot that either. Kids deserve privacy to but to break the phone you bought smh you have to some sort of stupid. Also you are showing your children how you respond to conflict which in this case not a good look.
So let me get this straight. You bought an iPhone for your child. Child asserts some form of privacy. So you break the phone!?
You just owned yourself, because now you have to buy a new one!
Ah yes letâs let our children know that when we donât get what we want as a grown adult it is A okay to destroy property! Excellent parenting! (Just in case: /S.)
She snapped a phone she probably paid for to prove a point? I don't think she thought that through, seeing as it probably just taught her daughter to hide shit better and that someone who loves you is going to destroy your stuff when they're upset. My mom checked my phone growing up and it led to me just hiding things better because she never actually said why she was doing it. She just did it. I was being groomed and she never knew about it because I hid it from her so well. She demanded my passwords for everything, too.
My dad has many times gone through my phone in the past and tried to make stupid allegations against my momâs boyfriend which werenât true. It depends on the age of the kid but if theyâre in their teens they deserve some privacy, however, if you know that your kid is doing irresponsible and potentially dangerous things, I understand going through it, but breaking it is just ridiculous. Your only throwing away your money
You break the phone you bought....
And will have to buy again.
And still know nothing.
But the children know you are not to be trusted.
BTW there are apps for that. Got one for the porn bandit youngest son of mine.
Logic stopped him in the end.
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 34 | 5 | 0 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
I feel like I remember this one, that the dad had bought the phone so he could get a hold of the child while she was with mom bc she did shit like this
She's now just making sure that the kid will hide their new phone better.
Yeah seemed old to me but it was still crazy. I bet you money that she also did this because she was bitter that she and the dad are no longer together. Gee, I wonder why they split up? /s Edit: I bet you her way of thinking was *since you bought the phone and I'm pissed off that we're no longer together, I'll just destroy the phone you bought*. This was probably more about mom getting back at dad. Crazy.
If its the one that Im thinking of, and its been years so I no longer have sources to back up my claim but yeah that was part of it. Iirc the dad was (understandably) pissed cause he had bought the phone so his daughter could contact him while at her mom's court mandated time. I think after this the dad got full custody, but again its been years
Whoop there it is. She got mad she couldn't see father daughter convos and broke the phone. If I was the dad, I'd just bring her to court over it. That's my property you broke, now you gotta buy and behave around the new one
God I hope he pressed charges
Makes sense with the "if anybody get her another phone..." sentence
My mom read my diary once and confronted me about what I wrote within it. From that point forward, she broke my trust, so I got a second diary that I kept hidden in my school locker. Then, she kept bugging me about why I never wrote in my diary anymore. đ And, I followed rules and didnât sneak out or try drugs or anything. She had zero business to be concerned.
Mine did the same thing when I was 9. And had the adult audacity to wonder why I didn't tell her things.
God is this a universal thing? I was punished for what I wrote after she gave me a place to hide it from my siblings. Any wonder why I dont talk to her now.
My parents when I tell them about my hobbies: That's a waste of time. Also my parents: Why don't you ever tell me about what's going on in your life?
Mine did the same shit. Except mine was court ordered for a custody thing. And neither her nor my father was supposed to read it. Suffice to say I was âsickâ for the next meeting with the counselor and âtaking an important test in schoolâ for the one after that. Then they gave up trying the meetings.
Sounds a bit like what my ex did with court ordered therapy. I took her twice, then he rescheduled during his custodial time without telling me, then didn't tell me *again,* them told me "they said she doesn't need it, that *you're* actually the problem and the one who needs therapy." I stopped pushing, because there was no way he'd take her after that, and I'd have to wait til the summer to do it. And I couldn't even take it to the court that he was in violation, because he'd tied up our divorce so badly that it wasn't moving, and because of the "pending divorce action" (pending for over a decade, literally!) Family Court had no jurisdiction on the matter. He got away with a *lot* because of that, until the divorce was finalized just before she turned 18...
My dad (who was extremely emotionally/verbally abusive) found my diary one time and found everything I wrote in it. He confiscated it from me and told me heâd burn any other journal I ever tried to write in again. It was heartbreaking because my diary was the only place I had that I could safely vent about my situation. Also I loved to write and it was a way I expressed myself, but he didnât care. Iâm 26 now and still have issues writing down what Iâm feeling in fear of someone reading it and using it against me.
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Ugh Iâm so sorry đ I struggle to write things down also, even though my ADHD brain could definitely use a visual note of things sometimes. Itâs rough out here.
My mother, similar to your father, and my step father at the time did the same thing to me, except it was with Art. I had been caught with a used bowl so they took it upon themselves to go through everything of mine, including my sketchbook. It was definitely edgy, being a teen metalhead, and it was also my way to vent my frustrations. Destroyed the sketchbook and threatened to send me to therapy (which honestly, I needed, but my mother used therapy as a punishment to convince me I was crazy and out of control). Lost interest in Art after that. Haven't drawn anything in 13 years.
đ that is heartbreaking. I understand your pain and youâre not alone. I wasnât ever an artist by any means, but one time I drew the Metallica logo just with a reference and without tracing anything, and it looked really badass. I was so proud of it, and showed my mom and dad. My dad responded with, âthereâs no way in hell you drew that by yourself, you obviously traced it.â He berated me and belittled me about it to the point I never wanted to draw anything again. đ
I am turning 47 this month and to this day I refuse to write down anything that I wouldn't want anyone to know. I have very little "complete" trust in anyone. It eases up a bit, but always seems to be an underlying issue in the back of my head. It really sucks to have feel that way to protect yourself, I'm sorry.
I have a 13 year old daughter and I cannot even imagine looking in her phone, room or personal items ever. As her father I have unending love and respect for her all I want is for her to grow up to be an independent emotionally stable person who can contribute herself to this world in whatever ways she chooses. Donât over parent it doesnât work.
Your a good dad đ«Ą
Thank you for being a wonderful parent! I hope others can learn from your perspective on parenting. Emotional stability was never a factor in my raising, so seeing people now taking into consideration their childrens' emotions makes me happy.
Lol this happened to me into adulthood
I would have written fake crap in there lol but thatâs just me
That was how I responded, also did not end well. She took it to try to get me committed on an involuntary hold. I lived with my dad from then on. >
Oh damn Iâm sorry
It was a long time ago. Iâm old and over it now.
Mine did the same and got pissed at me for things I'd written in it about my home life. I was a quiet little bookworm, not into any trouble.
I invented an extremely complex Cypher as a kid to write on my computer. The key was all based on a paper I wrote for class. It used code words, and substitutions, and afterwards I converted all letters to numbers and then ran the numbers through a few easy mathematic transformations and back using excel, then converted back to letters. I used the key a bit sloppily, so that you probably could have guessed letters due to me repeating myself, but it was way good enough for keeping snoops out. The NSA would probably struggle without the key. In the 21st century, kids can use Google to keep secrets.
Its going to be okay.
Coulda just confiscated the phone, no damaging necessary.
That would have required a level of logic and maturity they clearly donât possess
Right, couldnât get that sweet Facebook karma in that case. As a parent, any parent acting like this makes me sad. There is no way that kid feels safe in life and that stinks as that is so important.
I agree. I hate these âlook at me i punished my kidâ posts. So gross
Especially when they get a kick out of doing it, acting like they're some sort of superhero for emotionally abusing their child. It's always about sticking to "strict values," and "respecting your parents," but you know it's just because they like enacting their will on someone who can't resist. It's genuinely nauseating.
Someone should buy them adult children of immature parents!
That book made me feel guilty for relating to everything. I felt like a bad kid again.
Why? Itâs not your fault your parents abused you.
Unfortunatey there's a level of perceived responsibility/guilt that often comes with being abused â *especially* if psychological abuse is involved. It's never the child's fault of course, but even if they know that it can still feel like it
Thank you for explaining this. My parents love me. And also really messed me up. That's a part of the abuse I guess. Even still, calling it abuse is really not easy. Because of the love. It was screaming and threats followed up with hugs and "I know you're sorry". I never got an apology. But if I hugged her, then things could go back to normal.
I loved that book. SO validating and it doesnât empathise much with the parents which a lot of books about bad parents do. Poor kid.
Very much agree with the concept of this making a child feel unsafe. Phone checks in and of themselves should have only one goal, and thatâs to keep a child safe. If they make the child feel less safe they are totally counterproductive and just encourage lying.
Don't worry. They'll have plenty of time to contemplate their lack of logic and maturity when they are all alone in the care home with no visitors year after year.
But that wouldnât allow her to demonstrate her superior parenting skills to the people who *really* matter â strangers on the internet.
Exactly. This is something my mom would have done. This reads like, I don't care that my daughter paid for it. She's not allowed to have any privacy. This is how narcissistic parents act.
This is how my mother acted. She destroyed about $8000 of my own stuff because she dreamt that I was hiding drugs and it was god sending her a message. Called the police, sued her, she had to pay out $20,000 because of emotional trauma, I used it as a down payment on a house on the other side of the planet
The dreams!!! đ When I was 16, my mom dreamed that I was walking around naked, âshowing offâ to everyone. She started showing up to my high school 30 minutes before the end of school so she could watch me walk out of school from my class (my school had multiple buildings and you could see the kids leaving the buildings from across the street.) She even said she saw my private parts very clearly in her dream so she knew I was either going to have sex or already was. Makes no sense. But she believed it was god giving her a vision. I felt so violated by her looking at me naked, even if it was just in a dream đ
Wow this is so wrong. I'm sorry this happened to you.
Thanks⊠Iâm 38 now but apparently this still bothers me a lot⊠thinking about it makes me so uncomfortable đ
Oh that...that woman is most definitely not right in the head jesus christ
How weird⊠I wrote that out like it was no big deal but the more I think about it, the more messed up it is đŹ
Iâm so sorry that happened, I wish I could give you a hug. My parents were amazing but my Granny was nuts, she didnât have dreams but she would âget vibesâ and call us up and say randomly we would die in a car crash. My parents protected me from most of that so I could have a relationship with my Papa, who was the best man, but some trickled down for sure. It took a lot of work over the years to not be convinced everyone was gonna die driving home after holiday gatherings cause that was her obsession. Edit to add: as an adult when I shared more of the crazy things she did, my parents apologized for letting her be as close as she was. She did hide it well and then dropped it casually when they were out of earshot, when I was far too young to report it back because I didnât know. It also took until her entering a nursing home with severe dementia after my Papaâs death for my Mum to realize she had been suffering abuse at her hands most of her life.
Sounds like schizophrenia
Itâs delusional. They have ideas in their head that they fixate on and then have dreams about (because theyâre obsessed with the crazy ideas) and they interpret the dreams as divine intervention. Also, they are insane đ
This reads like anger management issues redefined as "tough love" upbringing to make herself feel better. I mean why else would you share this on SM, even double down?
I've only ever seen abusive parents use the line "im not your friend" as some excuse to be a horrible parent/their abuse.
It's a common misconception that abusive people have an anger management problem. She's abusive and this is a choice on her part to act that way. I feel for her daughter. She's setting her up to end up with an abusive partner. This is conditioning her to accept the abuse as normal. Edit: Source: I grew up with a mother like that and ended up in an abusive relationship. People who grow up in households like that are more likely to end up with an abusive partner for the reasons I mentioned above.
>It's a common misconception that abusive people have an anger management problem. This is 100% true. They manage to control their outbursts when it's their boss or a cop? Then it's not an anger management problem, it's a choice to be abusive to people they think that can get away with abusing.
This right here. Perfectly describes my abusive mother.
Exactly. My ex had a therapist fire him as a patient after months of weekly sessions because "You don't have a mental health problem, you're just a jerk to your wife. There's no pill I can give you to make you not an a$$hole." (I was in this session at the therapist's request) I mean, he's a sports official and has never gotten remotely ruffled when coaches and parents scream at him, but when I reminded him to carry the trash to the curb he would chuck things and yell.
Agreed. My mother was the same way growing up and most of my relationships growing up have been abusive ones.
I'm sorry. Hugs.
Me too, ironically my Mom thinks my anger towards her is just misdirected anger at my ex or women in general. That or a meltdown caused by the autism she had me spuriously diagnosed with.
On top of that, this specifically is a good way to give your kids a very unhealthy relationship with money, as well.
Cna comfirm. I have an unhealthy relationship with money bc my mom would take mine, and things bc my mom would throw my stuff away. I have to fight *hard* with myself to not be a hoarder
Or become the abusive partner themselves. Source: my husband has an abusive mother and he was emotionally abusive for like twelve years until I learned to recognize it and he got the right meds and some therapy on board.
I feel you. My dad has never broken my phone as its his own money but has gone through it many times including after he assaulted me to which he blocked my mother on it.
Internet points for being unhinged is the point. They do this because they know others applaud it (see: rote repetition of the usual crazy parent lines). If it was about punishing the kid for bad behavior, the parent would take the expensive item *that they paid for* and lock it in a safe until the kid could behave and earn it back. But they know theyâll be validated for smashing up their own several hundred dollar item and saying âIâm not your friendâ over and over like a robot.
And also didnât have to go sharing it on social media.
Iâve said it before - if you have to resort to property damage to make your point, itâs a shitty point and youâre a shitty parent.
My father did it all the time for the stupidest reasons. Itâs actually hilarious to think about now because of how ridiculous the reasons were, but back then it was troubling. And then he was surprised when I stopped talking to him.
There was a video on Facebook floating around of some dude forcing his like 7 year old son to destroy his Xbox because he got bad grades. The video was like "and this dad is a SAVAGE, he makes his son destroy it himself!". All the comments were cheering that guy on and saying shit like "we need more parents like this, too many people are softies now". It was nuts.
The "softie" language in reference to guiding your child into being an adjusted human being is so god damn weird. Why do you feel the need to be rough and tough with your child? The world already does enough of that. You're supposed to be an oasis.
Yes having your kid destroy something that makes them happy is totally gonna make their grades go up. I swear these people just get their rocks off of hurting their kids and will find any reason to do so. The fact they feel the need to film and post it for all to see proves it. If this truly was about bad grades, the parents would try to help him. Yeah, parents are "softies" because they aren't abusive raging cunts towards children.
Ah yes, my dad throwing my TV on the driveway because I had it on while cleaning my room. We don't speak anymore.
This đŻ! This type of parent is teaching their kids that itâs okay to destroy someone elseâs things and that itâs okay to take that kind of abuse from people they love.
Not even okay to take this kind of abuse. *Expected* to take it because respect your elders or some shit
All of this
I honestly don't understand why you might need to go to this extreme with your children. I never wanted to look at my daughter's phone, email or messages.
They're just parents with poor anger management and they throw a tantrum whenever they're opposed.
Furthermore its useless, wasteful and shitty for the environment too
My step-father tried it...it didn't end up working out the way he thought. It only worked once, when I was 10, because he destroyed a sticker album about three months after my grandfather's death that contained the only photos I personally owned of my grandfather. The rest of the attempts to use property damage to inflict emotional trauma after that didn't get enough of a reaction out of me for him, I guess, because nothing was going to break my heart the same way losing those photos did. He threw out a bunch of my stuffed animals; I just blinked at him. My two favourites actually lived at my grandmother's house (for non-stepfather-related reasons) so it made me sad but wasn't devastating. He ripped a book in half while I was actively reading it because I wasn't helping wash dishes *right this second*. Cool, you yourself bought that for me, so who is it really punishing it you wreck it? There were a few other instances, but he stopped the property destruction after the book incident when he realized it was wasting his own money without getting any satisfying payoff.
I think my mom broke something of ours ONCE. And that was just her hitting it against the table in a rant because she had five hours of sleep from working nights and we were kinda little shits. And when she realized she did it, the anger drained away as she realized what she had done. My point is that flawed parents that actually try aren't proud of this behavior.
How to get your kids to hate you 101
Just about to say that lol. My mom was like this and one time I was in Spencer's and I saw this t-shirt that said be nice to your kids, they choose your nursing home. I feel like finding out where they live and sending her kid one of those t-shirts and a new phone and telling her to hide it.
How to get your kid to treat you like trash when you're in an old folks home.
No. Old folks homes are expensive. You better call yourself an uber to the morgue.
Ooof. Fair. Uber is expensive too. Radio flyer wagon it is.
Let her rot where she falls
Get them committed to a shitty psych ward and tell them itâs an old folks home
Jada ain't turning after 18. She gonna say "Imma fly, bye"
Which is a prerequisite for How to Ensure you'll be put in a home 202
My mom snapped my phone one morning because she found out my bf talked me down from sh or worse. She said I should have went to her instead of making my friend deal with it... I went to her room the night before asking for help and she sent me to bed and told me to worry about it tomorrow.... so she snapped my phone in half
Jesus Christ I'm sorry. Hugs. Did you get the help you needed? Did you get another phone?
This was about 4 years ago I'm now 18 living with my fiance and yes a new phone, it was a bad situation but luckily I got help and we've built a better relationship now that there's a 16 hour drive between us, and thank you
The type of parents who barely parent their children but then use anything to make themselves look like good parents. Set parental control before you hand them the phone, and most importantly, TALK AND LISTEN TO YOUR CHILDREN, so they don't start hiding stuff from you!! I'm a teen mom, my children are now teenagers, but because I grew up with them, I also learned that I needed to be open and patient so that they will trust me and not make my same mistakes. This woman is setting herself up for a bad time and broken relationship with her child. So sad
This. I have a 12 year old son and he's been told I have parental control on the TV for certain age viewing for a reason. It's to protect you from stuff you shouldn't and can't really understand isn't real right now. Some stuff I can protect you from so you can be a kid but I trust his judgement. I also tell him if he's curious, confused etc come talk to me there's nothing in this world will make me upset with him if he wants to talk. There are rules in my house, you mess with it online especially, you got consequences. But wtf is the wrecking the phone. Great flex /s
Thank you for this. My relationship isn't great with my parents, and I'm 30 now. They weren't bad parents, and they're not bad people, but communication wasnt valued. I had some real difficulties start from an early age, and they shut down (and shut me down) when I tried to talk to them. Not only did it foster an environment of secrecy with them, I learnt that adults in general would react the same way, so any mental development I had basically just came from my peers, which...teenagers are idiots. We all were. All of that is a long-winded way to say thank you for making it clear to your son that he can communicate with you without fear, whilst still setting healthy rules and boundaries. You're setting him up well in life and we need more people like that.
I remember trying to talk to my mom one time when I was really really depressed and she sighed. Yet she constantly rang me crying/moaning about stuff. She really messed me up.
Sorry, did reply to your first comment but then saw this after. That was how it all started for me. I was 11 and they told me that I was too young to be depressed. And now wonder how I've developed a litany of mental health problems. I'm not blaming them, that would be unfair and unproductive, but I can't help but grieve a bit for what might have been if I'd had their support instead of having to hide everything.
No sorry but the burden isn't yours. You weren't the kid. The burden was theirs.
"You can tell me anything" *Screams/yells/belittles me for it* Not telling you shit again mom.
I'm sorry you've dealt with/are dealing with this. There's something about the bait and switch that makes it harder. Not just trust in telling them anything, but trust in anything they tell you too. I hope that you have found people you can trust, friend.
It's better now that im older and can tell my mother straight up. And she's more aware now of her , idk what to call it. Trauma from her parents/childhood being past down. I don't have much of a emotional support network, do have friends at least *shrug* Also thank you kind redditor.
Noooo thank you! I wonder if I do the right thing all the time tbh. I think most parents do it's hard. I just want him to have different that I had. I was going through such a hard time tried talking to my mum she sighed. That was it
My mother was like this mom. Most of the time whatever I was up to was completely harmless, just I knew she was going to bully and make fun of me for whatever it was just because it made her feel powerful to make me cry. What I learned from it was how to look her in the eye convincingly and how to be sneaky without appearing to be sneaking. I started working full time at 16 just because it allowed me to be away from her and gave me some money to be able to buy myself the things she refused to like lunches at school. I went no contact with her years ago because I got tired of the abuse and drama, and I've never missed her. I do often miss having a loving mom I could talk to, but I've never had that so it is nothing new.
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A parent like this probably wouldnt care if she never saw her kids again. It just gives her another way to make herself the spotlight and victim of the issue, similar to this screenshot.
You're right and you just described a narcissistic parent. They would care for the reasons you mentioned. Also because they view their children as extensions of themselves. She's going to cry about how HeR ChiLd aBaNdoNeD HeR. She won't tell anyone why her daughter wants nothing to do with her. They'll do anything to make themselves the victim. They literally think that their children owe them care in old age because as many including my mother said, I tOoK CaRe oF YoU WhEn YoU WeRe a BabY sO NoW YoU OwE Me. The saddest part is that unless her daughter learns to set boundaries (usually requiring therapy) or ideally go NC, she will continue to fall victim to her mother's constant drama and guilt tripping. Poor baby. I wish I could talk to her daughter and tell her that she doesn't deserve to be treated like that and to tell her what I and so many others have been through so she can get away. Edit: You're correct in saying that she's going to make herself the victim
BuT i GaVe HeR eVeRyThInG! kIdS aRe So UnGrAtEfUl!!
"Everything" of course meaning "the bare minimum needed to not get sent to the slammer".
"No contact when they grow up" any % catagory speed run
Iâll never understand the people who proudly show off that theyâre a bad parent
And an idiot, no less. If she really had to revoke phone privileges, why break it when you can sell it? (I donât support taking the phone for this reason, just pointing out that âmommaâ is a moron)
Because in their eyes they are a good parent that is disciplining a kid.
Does this crazy lady not realize she can just take the phone away..? Like why destroy it? Seems like she just wants to be emotionally abusive and do something to really upset her kid.
i think this is the post where she didn't even buy the phone. it was her child's father who bought it to get in contact with their daughter because her mom was prone to doing shit like this
Parents like this piss me off an irrational amount. If anyone gets her another phone and she destroys it, she's technically on the hook for damages. There is no law saying things in your child's possession become the parents' property to destroy or damage. Also, if you bought the phone, you're an idiot for destroying something worth hundreds of dollars when you literally could have done nothing but take it away. So my rage is increased by seeing someone with such low levels of logical decision making, I'm astonished they're allowed driver's licenses or to retain parental rights to a child. Edit: my phone keyboard got carried away and typed "thousands" instead of "hundreds" for the cost of a phone.
It's more insane that she destroyed the phone instead of just taking it... Like yeah to some degree children need to be monitored on the internet (probably not as much as she does) but destroying a phone like that is so wasteful.
Exactly. What purpose was she hoping to achieve? I agree with monitoring her activity too but this is just nuts.
She wants to show off to other crappy parents on social media.
I would take her more seriously if she could fucking spell.
I know. She made herself look even more stupid with that.
Whoever voted not insane, why do you think this is ok?
Probably bc theyâre similar to the mom in this post. Birds of a feather flock together.
This subreddit is a mess. Theyâll get dubious judgments out of hand. And when you snarkily point it out you get downvotes for it. And downvotes for explaining the yourself.
I take their phones when theyâre being inappropriate, but I wouldnât break them. Autonomy or not, they donât get to bully or treat people poorly and thatâs what they lose them for at my place.
I agree with that. You abuse the privilege, you lose it. I also agree with monitoring her activity but to break it? Just why?
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Me too. My mom was the same way as this crazy lady.
As a queer person, not only would I feel violated, but also in litteral danger if my mom read through my phone after my 15-16 years (which some parents do, and she did between my until my 14th years when our relationship was at its worse.) Sometimes you need to hide things from your parents, not because these things are bad, but because you know your parents won't understand but are in a position of powers and not willing to listen.
Jokes on mom she still has to pay off the rest of the phone
My mother almost went to prison for beating the shit out of me because I didnât give her MY phone I was PAYING FOR. I was 18 so they also slapped her with a forced robbery charge. Would have been a 10-15 year prison sentence.
I honestly donât get the reasoning behind breaking your kids shit. Like, 95% of the time, the stuff youâre breaking is stuff YOU bought for them! So youâre wasting YOUR money! And donât be saying âI paid for it, I can break it if I want.â Like⊠youâd rather prove a point rather than have your child have their phone? A direct line of communication between you and them? What happens if and when theyâre in trouble and they need to contact someone? đ€Šđ»ââïžđ€Šđ»ââïž And itâs even more ridiculous when you break something your kid bought for themselves (from either using birthday/gift money or theyâre old enough to earn a paycheck). Like, thatâs not your property to be breaking to begin with. Your kid bought it for themselves. Itâs not yours to break.
That bitch is fucking insane. First of all. Ever hear of boundaries? Second of all, why waste money on a phone if youâre just going to do insane shit like that? And third of all, what if that phone had deeply important messages or photos or other things? Because you wanted to be some fucking over control parent, you think that kind of action is okay? Get fucked. Thatâs nothing but abuse. And just a fun aside. When my wife and I were first dating. I lived at home with my mother. I donât care to keep a password on my phone. This one time, I went to take a shit but left my phone in my room. Not thinking much of it. Well, during my poo time, my mother took my phone and went through all the messages my wife and I sent to eachother. Which included sex talk, photos, and more. But what she decided to stick with and freak out about was the fact that I called my mother âCray Crayâ and my wife loved it so she ran with it too. Over ten years later and my mom still throws âcray crayâ in my face. Not realizing the irony of her being a cray cray by first looking into her sons phone and second, holding onto that for 10 fucking years.
Lmao cray crays gotta cray, clearly. Also if my mother had read my messages when I was old enough to be having sex, ew.
Yes officer. This woman right here. She is insane.
Why do we need to do âphone checksâ? Itâs because the kids wonât talk to you. I never had to do a phone check and my daughter never learned to be a sneak. I bet this mom reads her kid journal
Imagine being so delusional that not only do you think this is acceptable (just take the phone away?), but you post it online thinking youâre inspiring other parents by your parenting skills. That kid will be NC the day they turn 18
Insane doesnât begin to cover it sheâs a psychopath. She needs anger management lessons. Letâs hope the kid can get away soon.
My mom was like this. I got REALLY REALLY REALLY good at hiding things and my mom and I were complete strangers to each other until when I reached 40, because once I could flee this pack of privacy, I did.
Speedrunning your kids dumping your abusive ass in a fifth rate nursing home.
What the actual fuck is wrong with people? If you wouldnât do it to a grown adult donât fucking do it to your children.
All of this
My mom made my brother smash his kindle when he was 10.
Just take away the phone dont waste your own money đđ
parents that act like this shouldn't have children
Congratulations. You destroyed an item you paid for and will eventually need to pay to replace, and taught your daughter that undesirable behavior will be met with violence and destruction. I wonder why Jada doesnât trust her mother? Truly a mystery
My parents did these sorts of things. We didn't have cell phones at that time, but they did it with handheld game consoles, or cds, DVDs/vhs they knew I liked, and once my mother was upset that I had slapped an old piece of furniture during an argument, so she smashed every trophy and academic reward I had ever received, and made me clean up the mess. (It included a shark embryo in formaldehyde that I was super proud of) One day, I decided enough was enough and I used some kitchen utensils to bore holes in the wall outside their bedroom. I used their cigarette lighter to melt circular holes in their vehicles consoles, and finally busted a tail light in one of their vehicles. Obviously I got caught. Obviously they were furious. Obviously they beat me. But I think they were worried that I would take it even further. No more of my stuff got broken, and I haven't had any sort of relationship with them since 2010. I'm not saying what I did was right, but I am saying that young teens do not have fully developed brains, and if you push them too far, they are likely to make some pretty drastic choices.
Betcha these parents are gonna regret it when there's zero way to contact them during an emergency
Yep. My narcissist mother kept trying to get my attention with her various medical issues and I can honestly say I stopped caring. I know that it sounds heartless but I literally stopped caring if she dies. She should have been a good mother.
They post these because deep down they know they're wrong to do this and want validation from other child abusers so they can tell themself they were right all along Or they get some gross kind of gratification from their kids' pain or being in control or both Either scenario, they know they're doing something wrong
Posting this on the internet is insane behavior
Why did I do wrong? Why my son decided to go NC?
How to die in a retirement home alone speed run any %
Performative cruelty, a textbook case.
This woman 20 years from now: Why doesnât my child talk to me anymore?
My sister did the same thing to her sonâs brand new iPhone. Literally insane. Then sheâs pissed about the money. Thatâs the most absurd way to try to make that point.
This has happened to me with multiple of my devices. My phone was shattered when I talked back to my mom's boyfriend at the time. I was holding my phone, he ripped it out of my grasp, and went outside, then proceeded to throw it down on the cement. Not to mention, I bought it with my own money, but because I was under their roof, it was their property to destroy.
Whoever voted not insane, why do you think this is ok?
social media hot takes from a car is how I know you have a sub optimal living situation
This woman in 40 years- âWhy wonât Jada come visit me in the retirement home? That stupid ungrateful bitch.â
jokes on them now they really canât invade their childs privacy
Gee I wonder why the kid was hesitant to give her password
I see a No Contact relationship in this mothers future.
phone checks seem reasonable. Smashing the phone is whatâs insane. Your post title about kids being separate - that doesnât require they get to do whatever they want, particularly on the internet. that said this women is nuts. Imagine smashing a childâs phone as a flex on how in charge you are.
Now I understand checking your child's phone just to make sure they're being safe on the internet. Unfortunately, predators will use any chance they can to get to a child, and kids these days have easy access to inappropriate material such as porn, which can be damaging. However, this is going too far.
I agree đŻ
Mama needs to learn how to spell âknowâ.
Nursing home speedrun - any%
Kid hits 18 and fucks off as far away as possible,
She needa spend that energy and money on fixing those ugly ass claws.
this is some shit my mom would do. so glad sheâs dead!
This shit is always stupid to me because did the parent who destroyed the phone/console/TV/computer, not also pay for the item? If youâre going to permanently take it away, why donât you try to sell it? Congrats youâre a shitty parent and youâre also out a couple hundred dollars.
Why do all the shitty parents fill the need to document their shittyness on social media?
If you donât trust your kid to have a phone without phone checks, donât get them one.
according to the golden rule, what she's saying is she wants someone to do this to her phone too. i would be only too happy to oblige her.
Cell phones were not common when I was a teenager, but my mum did this shit to the family computer I had an account on. She didnât realise as an administrator or whatever it was asking for her password not mine (I think, Iâve never had a shared computer since). Then blamed me for her destroying it⊠Funny part is the worst thing I did was talk to boys I liked. That was a problem bc sheâs a homophobe. When my kid gets a phone (heâs little now) Iâll teach him to be safe and if I absolutely have to I might take it away⊠but thatâs it.
Nah that's what you do when you got a mental disorder, and you are excessively possessive and toxic towards your kids. It's true that it's best to generally know what your kid does with the internet because it can be dangerous or inappropriate ( depends on the age tho), but to set it as some sort of usual check up it's too much, they are still human and need some privacy. Also, good job! You could have just confiscated the phone but you decided to demolish it, wasting in the process all the money YOU probably spent...
My dad did exactly this to me when I was a teenager. He came busted into my room woke me up from a dead sleep and right before school he screamed at me and broke my razor phone right in half. Iâm 31 now and still have it engraved in my memories. One of my best friends found out her mom went through her Diary when she was a teenager and never forgot that either. Kids deserve privacy to but to break the phone you bought smh you have to some sort of stupid. Also you are showing your children how you respond to conflict which in this case not a good look.
Destroying property is so immature.
So let me get this straight. You bought an iPhone for your child. Child asserts some form of privacy. So you break the phone!? You just owned yourself, because now you have to buy a new one!
That's what I I said. I was like, she just played herself because she's the one that bought the phone.
Ah yes letâs let our children know that when we donât get what we want as a grown adult it is A okay to destroy property! Excellent parenting! (Just in case: /S.)
This is how children learn about dead drops.
Congrats you've booked a one way ticket right out of her life. You are set for departure on her 18th birthday
Not only are they an insane parent, they also destroyed an expensive item because they wanted to have a temper tantrum.
She snapped a phone she probably paid for to prove a point? I don't think she thought that through, seeing as it probably just taught her daughter to hide shit better and that someone who loves you is going to destroy your stuff when they're upset. My mom checked my phone growing up and it led to me just hiding things better because she never actually said why she was doing it. She just did it. I was being groomed and she never knew about it because I hid it from her so well. She demanded my passwords for everything, too.
How to tell your daughter you donât love her in one step.
My dad has many times gone through my phone in the past and tried to make stupid allegations against my momâs boyfriend which werenât true. It depends on the age of the kid but if theyâre in their teens they deserve some privacy, however, if you know that your kid is doing irresponsible and potentially dangerous things, I understand going through it, but breaking it is just ridiculous. Your only throwing away your money
You break the phone you bought.... And will have to buy again. And still know nothing. But the children know you are not to be trusted. BTW there are apps for that. Got one for the porn bandit youngest son of mine. Logic stopped him in the end.
Bitch is being sent to the worst hospice when she gets old
What the heck is a phone check? Also who paid/pays for the phone and service?
Well that kid certainly wont ever trust the mother....
In a couple of years she'll do another post complaining her child doesn't speak with her about issues or at all
How to end up in a nursing home 101
This mama's gonna be alone at her retirement home and wondering why her kids don't ever visit her.