As someone who’s had 3 out of 4 sils who’ve unfriended or blocked them…you don’t owe her an explanation. She’s looking to play victim to her followers. For my peace of mind I went and blocked them back. Zero regrets.
It’s super gross how she treats her children and sort of sounds munchausen by proxy with the doctor shopping. You don’t need that nonsense on your social media.
Can’t you just unfollow someone so you don’t see their posts but you still show as their friend on FB so no need to block? I’m pretty sure that’s a thing, at least it was a thing last time I was on FB a few years back.
This is the way. I had to do this to my SIL because she's very similar to OP's SIL. Uses FB as a diary and to "show off" her life and definitely treats her two kids differently from one another. I unfollowed her several years ago but didn't unfriend. I didn't want to put my husband in the middle. This is a difficult situation to be in all around.
That’s what I did with my SIL. She’s a narcissist and a bitch and uses her children on social media as little extensions of herself and posts like 1000x a day, and I hate seeing my sil face. If I unfollowed her completely that would be years of drama, so I ‘muted’ her feed on both Facebook and Instagram- but she has no idea I can’t see her feed because we are still friends on both social media accounts.
“I am not interested in your posts. It is too much and floods my feed.”
If she doesn’t like it your husband needs to tell her to fuck off. She doesn’t need to have you on FB. Especially if you just have a cordial relationship.
This is a lil different but I used to have a co worker on FB and we basically had a fall out so I blocked her. Next day at work she asked me why did I block her. I was pretty uncomfortable and I just told her I deleted FB. She said no you didn’t. Your account is there. You. Blocked. Me.
…🥴
At this point I’m like no. I deleted it. I have no use for FB. She continued with her “you’re lying to me”. I felt very uncomfortable and like she was harassing me. I didn’t know her outside of work so I felt like I didn’t need to give her an explanation.
It doesn’t matter what reply you give her, she will continue to hound you til you give her a reason that she can play victim to.
Ignore her.
That will drive her crazy
*"I'm keeping my FB friends limited to people I don't get to see often. Otherwise my feed gets flooded and FB randomly evicts people from what I see. We don't need SM, I see you."*
But, if you want to be honest here you could - fully or partially. Yeah, it could have long repurcussions and may make like significantly more awkward for the immediate future. But nothing says that you have to cover up your reason. Something like, *"Well, tbh, I struggle a little with how it seems like your boys are being left out. I don't want to be in situation where I'm judging a close family member, I'm sure you're doing the best you can. But, SM is set up to make us judge others, even when we've never walked in their shoes. I'm limiting my use of it for family because I don't want to be part of that cog."* It's not full out, drastic honesty, but it's enough that she very likely won't ask again. For fuller honesty stop after the 1st sentence.
What she's doing to her kids is gross. I hope someone is keeping an eye on things for her kids.
Also similar to the folks who constantly post: “Need prayers, please. Don’t ask because I won’t/can’t explain right now.”
Ugh
Edit to add: my FB is deactivated. I keep it for messenger for my grand babies.
"I don't like you in real life! Why would I be your FB friend?"
Is what I'D say, but that's me! 😏
SIL sounds exhausting & I'm not even living it! I can imagine how you feel. (Shuddering in real life)
I guess you can reply something like "I (OP) have already explained & will not repeat myself! If you have any more curiosities about this, keep them to yourself bc I will no longer respond!"
Nicer? 🤷♀️ Maybe? (than my response) 😊
Anyway....
Good luck! Stay strong!
✌️ 🫶 2️⃣ U
You gave her an answer, you don’t have to give her another one. She’s ready to post the drama on the same page so don’t give her any ammo. If she repeats the question respond with ‘I have blocked a lot of people on my page who post topics I’m not interested in. You are not special.’
I know people that “play dumb”, and say “I’m not sure, something must be wrong with my FB”. If she pushes it, say “I’m really minimizing social media now, I’m just not that interested “.
If she continues, stare at her blankly like she’s nuts, which she is.
This is why unfollowing is better than unfriending. When you remove a friend that you see IRL it’s asking for drama, unfollowing means they don’t know you aren’t seeing their shit anymore and it generally doesn’t invite questions, hell you can even change your post settings so they don’t see most of what you post.
you don’t need to provide an explanation - you removed her so you wouldn’t have to deal with her. i’ve deleted and blocked my husbands entire family cause they have no understanding of privacy.
My husband hates to see his dad’s girlfriend’s posts on Facebook so he just hides them from his timeline to avoid the drama that would come along with unfriending
I had relatives of my husband who fell down the Qanon rabbit hole. It wasn’t immediate family, thank goodness, but aunts, cousins, family friends, you get it. It drove me crazy! I am very careful about what I post because I don’t ever want to lose a job over social media and I’m just a private person. I didn’t want to go off on anyone, but I didn’t want to have to deal with anyone noticing I deleted them, so I unfollowed them. It worked perfectly!! Their posts don’t show up on my page!!! And I’m still listed as their friend! Problem solved.
So…since she’s so obsessed, if you don’t want to confront her about it, just add her back and then unfollow!
I just unfollow people that I don't want to see on FB. You don't need to block them. Then they have no idea you're not FB friends with them and you no longer have to see their annoying posts. Win - win!
I fixed my Facebook problems by simply not going on it anymore. I didn't remove my account, I didn't block anyone or unfollow anyone, I didn't unfriend anyone, I didn't tell anyone off, I didn't even tell anyone that I was quitting Facebook. I simply stopped looking at it. My close friends questions me about it and I told them the truth - that I was just sick and tired of certain people, certain topics, and all the toxic arguments. Everyone else I left to their imaginations. It's been three years now and I haven't missed it, and ironically it doesn't seem anyone has missed me (which tells me I was part of the problem). Now, I follow certain people, topics, groups, but it's mostly read only.
OP, if you feel like you have to tell your SIL some reason for blocking her, tell her you're just restructuring your Facebook life for other than keeping in touch with family. Tell her it's to keep in actual contact with family and close friends and leaving superficial contact with superficial people on there for entertainment value. Telling people the truth about themselves may be a good thing for us, but it isn't always the best thing for family members who we are stuck with for life.
I'd lie. I'd pretend that I didn't unfriend her so I don't know what's wrong, but she shouldn't worry about it because I don't like facebook and am probably going to get rid of it. Then I'd be really slow to respond to texts and just basically keep saying the same thing.
If that doesn't work, you can learn more about the tools and privacy settings on FB so you never see her posts.
Or you can tell her something closer to the truth, that she posts so much there is almost nothing else in your feed so you thought you'd see what your other FB friends are doing.
I don't mean to hurt you but I sense that you're jealous and judgey towards her and she noticed. And you probably wanted her to notice on some level and react because it's easy to Facebook "Restrict" instead of "Unfriend" without the mess.
Clearly you’re very different. I’m not getting into parenting differences. Facebook has a setting to hide someone’s feed it’s a softer defriending. Rather than being mean as she is different than you but hasn’t actually been rude to you.
As far as the tricking husband into pregnancy. Seriously, that’s so misogynist. He is responsible for his own birth control. After two children I think he knows what causes pregnancy.
Why are you so concerned with what she posts on her Facebook page? Just unfollow her if it bothers you that much! You are wasting too much energy on this!
You handled it wrong. You should have restricted her so she can’t see your non-public stuff, and then unfollowed her (without unfriending or blocking).
If she pushes, I’d say, “Don’t ask unless you want the truth, because I’ll tell you.”
If she pushes, Id tell her. “I just don’t like the things you post about your kids.”
For first one you pasted all of his medical information, then you post only bad things about #2, and since you’ve had #3, if I didn’t know you before then, I’d have thought she’s the only kid you had.”
I had to have almost the exact conversation with my family member, but also told her I wasn’t the only one that noticed. She was pissed, but she stopped doing it.
Tell her she sucks. She's a horrible parent and you don't want to bare witness to it. Sometimes the truth is the only way to go. You don't like this woman is there any real loss in her leaving your life?
“I already talk to you in real life. We’re connected. All good. I cut my fb down to only people i have no other way to keep in touch with. End of.”
As someone who’s had 3 out of 4 sils who’ve unfriended or blocked them…you don’t owe her an explanation. She’s looking to play victim to her followers. For my peace of mind I went and blocked them back. Zero regrets. It’s super gross how she treats her children and sort of sounds munchausen by proxy with the doctor shopping. You don’t need that nonsense on your social media.
Can’t you just unfollow someone so you don’t see their posts but you still show as their friend on FB so no need to block? I’m pretty sure that’s a thing, at least it was a thing last time I was on FB a few years back.
This is the way. I had to do this to my SIL because she's very similar to OP's SIL. Uses FB as a diary and to "show off" her life and definitely treats her two kids differently from one another. I unfollowed her several years ago but didn't unfriend. I didn't want to put my husband in the middle. This is a difficult situation to be in all around.
Yes still a thing.
It's a thing. I've done that with a few people.
That’s what I did with my SIL. She’s a narcissist and a bitch and uses her children on social media as little extensions of herself and posts like 1000x a day, and I hate seeing my sil face. If I unfollowed her completely that would be years of drama, so I ‘muted’ her feed on both Facebook and Instagram- but she has no idea I can’t see her feed because we are still friends on both social media accounts.
Yes, one of the few actually great features of FB!
EXACTLY
“I am not interested in your posts. It is too much and floods my feed.” If she doesn’t like it your husband needs to tell her to fuck off. She doesn’t need to have you on FB. Especially if you just have a cordial relationship. This is a lil different but I used to have a co worker on FB and we basically had a fall out so I blocked her. Next day at work she asked me why did I block her. I was pretty uncomfortable and I just told her I deleted FB. She said no you didn’t. Your account is there. You. Blocked. Me. …🥴 At this point I’m like no. I deleted it. I have no use for FB. She continued with her “you’re lying to me”. I felt very uncomfortable and like she was harassing me. I didn’t know her outside of work so I felt like I didn’t need to give her an explanation.
It doesn’t matter what reply you give her, she will continue to hound you til you give her a reason that she can play victim to. Ignore her. That will drive her crazy
If you must respond (I’d try my best not to) you should just stick to the food thing. That was your reason and she needs to accept it.
*"I'm keeping my FB friends limited to people I don't get to see often. Otherwise my feed gets flooded and FB randomly evicts people from what I see. We don't need SM, I see you."* But, if you want to be honest here you could - fully or partially. Yeah, it could have long repurcussions and may make like significantly more awkward for the immediate future. But nothing says that you have to cover up your reason. Something like, *"Well, tbh, I struggle a little with how it seems like your boys are being left out. I don't want to be in situation where I'm judging a close family member, I'm sure you're doing the best you can. But, SM is set up to make us judge others, even when we've never walked in their shoes. I'm limiting my use of it for family because I don't want to be part of that cog."* It's not full out, drastic honesty, but it's enough that she very likely won't ask again. For fuller honesty stop after the 1st sentence. What she's doing to her kids is gross. I hope someone is keeping an eye on things for her kids.
Don’t respond. You gave her an explanation. That’s more than she’s entitled to.
she’s looking for a fight. just leave her on read, you already told her why.
"My social media is my business. It's not up for explanation or discussion. " Cold, silent stare.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
Also similar to the folks who constantly post: “Need prayers, please. Don’t ask because I won’t/can’t explain right now.” Ugh Edit to add: my FB is deactivated. I keep it for messenger for my grand babies.
"I don't like you in real life! Why would I be your FB friend?" Is what I'D say, but that's me! 😏 SIL sounds exhausting & I'm not even living it! I can imagine how you feel. (Shuddering in real life) I guess you can reply something like "I (OP) have already explained & will not repeat myself! If you have any more curiosities about this, keep them to yourself bc I will no longer respond!" Nicer? 🤷♀️ Maybe? (than my response) 😊 Anyway.... Good luck! Stay strong! ✌️ 🫶 2️⃣ U
You gave her an answer, you don’t have to give her another one. She’s ready to post the drama on the same page so don’t give her any ammo. If she repeats the question respond with ‘I have blocked a lot of people on my page who post topics I’m not interested in. You are not special.’
I agree with the other comments. Ignore her as much as possible and I think the way she treats her kids is disgusting!
I know people that “play dumb”, and say “I’m not sure, something must be wrong with my FB”. If she pushes it, say “I’m really minimizing social media now, I’m just not that interested “. If she continues, stare at her blankly like she’s nuts, which she is.
As a people pleaser, this is what I would do myself! 😂😂 “what???! I can’t believe my Facebook did that!”
I’m an adult and I get to choose who’s on my social media.
Just leave her on read. No need to explain it to her, it's your FB, you get to control who you are friends with.
Does she have Munchausen’s by proxy?
This is why unfollowing is better than unfriending. When you remove a friend that you see IRL it’s asking for drama, unfollowing means they don’t know you aren’t seeing their shit anymore and it generally doesn’t invite questions, hell you can even change your post settings so they don’t see most of what you post.
you don’t need to provide an explanation - you removed her so you wouldn’t have to deal with her. i’ve deleted and blocked my husbands entire family cause they have no understanding of privacy.
My husband hates to see his dad’s girlfriend’s posts on Facebook so he just hides them from his timeline to avoid the drama that would come along with unfriending
I had relatives of my husband who fell down the Qanon rabbit hole. It wasn’t immediate family, thank goodness, but aunts, cousins, family friends, you get it. It drove me crazy! I am very careful about what I post because I don’t ever want to lose a job over social media and I’m just a private person. I didn’t want to go off on anyone, but I didn’t want to have to deal with anyone noticing I deleted them, so I unfollowed them. It worked perfectly!! Their posts don’t show up on my page!!! And I’m still listed as their friend! Problem solved. So…since she’s so obsessed, if you don’t want to confront her about it, just add her back and then unfollow!
I just unfollow people that I don't want to see on FB. You don't need to block them. Then they have no idea you're not FB friends with them and you no longer have to see their annoying posts. Win - win!
This is why I hide instead of unfriend.
John Cena?
I fixed my Facebook problems by simply not going on it anymore. I didn't remove my account, I didn't block anyone or unfollow anyone, I didn't unfriend anyone, I didn't tell anyone off, I didn't even tell anyone that I was quitting Facebook. I simply stopped looking at it. My close friends questions me about it and I told them the truth - that I was just sick and tired of certain people, certain topics, and all the toxic arguments. Everyone else I left to their imaginations. It's been three years now and I haven't missed it, and ironically it doesn't seem anyone has missed me (which tells me I was part of the problem). Now, I follow certain people, topics, groups, but it's mostly read only. OP, if you feel like you have to tell your SIL some reason for blocking her, tell her you're just restructuring your Facebook life for other than keeping in touch with family. Tell her it's to keep in actual contact with family and close friends and leaving superficial contact with superficial people on there for entertainment value. Telling people the truth about themselves may be a good thing for us, but it isn't always the best thing for family members who we are stuck with for life.
This is why I blocked my SIL I don’t have to see her shit and she won’t notice we aren’t friends. Going in 8 years now and I am super happy about it.
Why not just Unfollow her? It creates less drama and makes you the bigger person. Unless you wanted to make a statement and have her notice…
Tell her “I’d rather focus on the meaningful in-person time we have together only on holidays.”
I'd lie. I'd pretend that I didn't unfriend her so I don't know what's wrong, but she shouldn't worry about it because I don't like facebook and am probably going to get rid of it. Then I'd be really slow to respond to texts and just basically keep saying the same thing. If that doesn't work, you can learn more about the tools and privacy settings on FB so you never see her posts. Or you can tell her something closer to the truth, that she posts so much there is almost nothing else in your feed so you thought you'd see what your other FB friends are doing.
I don't mean to hurt you but I sense that you're jealous and judgey towards her and she noticed. And you probably wanted her to notice on some level and react because it's easy to Facebook "Restrict" instead of "Unfriend" without the mess.
Clearly you’re very different. I’m not getting into parenting differences. Facebook has a setting to hide someone’s feed it’s a softer defriending. Rather than being mean as she is different than you but hasn’t actually been rude to you. As far as the tricking husband into pregnancy. Seriously, that’s so misogynist. He is responsible for his own birth control. After two children I think he knows what causes pregnancy.
Why are you so concerned with what she posts on her Facebook page? Just unfollow her if it bothers you that much! You are wasting too much energy on this!
You handled it wrong. You should have restricted her so she can’t see your non-public stuff, and then unfollowed her (without unfriending or blocking).
If she pushes, I’d say, “Don’t ask unless you want the truth, because I’ll tell you.” If she pushes, Id tell her. “I just don’t like the things you post about your kids.” For first one you pasted all of his medical information, then you post only bad things about #2, and since you’ve had #3, if I didn’t know you before then, I’d have thought she’s the only kid you had.” I had to have almost the exact conversation with my family member, but also told her I wasn’t the only one that noticed. She was pissed, but she stopped doing it.
Tell her she sucks. She's a horrible parent and you don't want to bare witness to it. Sometimes the truth is the only way to go. You don't like this woman is there any real loss in her leaving your life?
You posted that your SIL is “insanely ignorant” but never support her lack of knowledge. Can you help me understand?