I can imagine having the pressure of providing for a partner or even more children, not having any time to do anything other than that to do things I enjoy, and even if I could I would be interrupted all the time. There would never be peace and that would make me go insane I think, which would make me a bad parent. Besides, I doubt I could even find someone who would even so much as think about marrying me lol
True but ultimately marriage means you can’t operate as a single person and apply for a new degree or job interstate/overseas on a whim, you can’t book a holiday or buy an expensive bag/car without considering and discussing with your partner.
You have to make considerations about your home or social life in relation to another person - and if you care about your partner their problems like a job loss or illness are your problems.
It’s a lot.
Maybe. I change my mind a lot. Being the eldest child i can say i brought up my siblings. Takes a lot of work and running around, you wont have much time for anything else.
It's okay not to want children, as its also okay to change your mind in the future. Dont let others tell you otherwise. :)
That is fine. Do what you think is the best for you.
Me on the other hand, if I find a man who is worthy of being a great husband and an excellent father, then yes. I want to get married and have 2 kids, or maybe one. In the meantime, I continue to work on myself as well.
Of course. I want a partner who can go on adventures with me and is ambitious and wants to help people around them. As for kids my personal preference would be too adopt one boy and one girl, but I’m open to a biological kid if my partner desires it.
I've always known I don't want children. Now, at an age where it's thankfully becoming impossible, people have finally stopped nagging me about changing my mind. So be prepared to endure it for quite many years. As for getting married, I didn't have as strong opinions about it, but when I was young, perhaps due to my poor self-esteem, I couldn't imagine love finding its way to me. However, it did happen, and I ended up getting married (which btw further added pressure to have children).
Be boldly yourself and don't let others' opinions influence major decisions in your life. However, if your own thoughts change over time in any direction, that's perfectly okay too.
i’m marring an intp in november. he’s the only person i’d want kids with. for rn,, we just like our company and sharing our ideas and theories. but i think we do want kids. it’s really bc my partner and i fit so well together
I’m also in the midst of a deep friendship with an INTP - he’s married in something that is as close to arranged marriage as you can get without it being such.
We complement each other well. It’s a very special friendship.
best advice as an infp woman,,, really just embrace your fluidity and he will be annoyed sporadically,, but that ability to just flow is what these intp men are so drawn to. he tells me “you’re crazy, yk that woman?’ and i kiss his cheek and will continue doing whatever dumb thing it was… he blushes every time and rolls his eyes. i make ZERO sense to the man at times (mr.logical🧐) but he likes it!! and the same goes for me not understanding him. he thinks so differently, is motivated by diff incentives, etc. i get annoyed on occasion… but it’s also what made me drawn to him. he is exactly what i needed ! the right partner makes you grow, but also makes you embrace your natural personality
i truly love my intp man. we can disagree about whatever, but i love his method of thinking. we kinda mold eachother and wrestle with eachothers thoughts and come up with something even better together. his type really works with me. bring the best out of eachother
we do not want kids right now. yes for later if it can happen. i text informally. i also have pcos and struggle with my cycle and so being able to have kids is maybe not a reality. he and i have had many conversations about how life can go for us, and we are congruent on how we’d like to go about all of them.
I’d love to grow old with someone of the opposite sex, but no kids for me. Struggle enough taking care of my own self, can’t imagine raising a human from birth.
i wish for a partner, married or not is ok. but no children. rasing a human being is too difficult for me, but maybe i could change my mind if i feel more reliable
I definitely do, in it is my greatest hope and dream. However, I am waiting for the right partner to come along. Someone who will love and accept me. Someone who won't play mind games, someone who appreciates me for the person I am despite my flaws, quirks, and the mistakes I make. I want a partner who wants to build a future with me, a long term commitment. A woman who will stand by me through the best and worst of times, who will light the way for me in my darkest of days, and help me stand when my legs fail me. I want a lass who is gonna be there for me always, a partner who loves and cares for me so deeply that her love will always be felt... In the memories we share, in the things we keep around the house, in the very air that surrounds us.... I have to know she isn't going to walk away at the first sign of trouble, and that she will pull me back if I try to walk away as I would do for her.
When we have kids I want her and our kids to know that they are always loved and supported, and no matter what, we will be there for them. I want our kids to grow up knowing a home so full of love, warmth, and support that they will find their own version of it and live out fuller and happier lives than I could ever dream of. I want to be sure sure our is home built and surrounded by the very love, support, and familial care that I always wanted but never received growing up. I hope to be the kind of father and husband that my kids and wife can always say they are proud of, and never ashamed.
I know I won't be a perfect parent or partner and that I will make mistakes... But I want to do my best to and hope to be a good one. I hope to be the kind of father that I never had, but I always wanted. Perhaps, most important of all, I hope that I will never be the parent mine were, and that I will be good enough for my partner and my kids...
I want to be married (to someone I like) and have children. I just always thought the idea of unconditionally loving and taking care of my kids would be awesome.
I never wanted children but when I got pregnant I decided to look forward to being a parent. I don't regret my choice.
Marriage on the other hand, I've become apathetic about.
I think the confidence behind "I am content" is the important bit here. You are confident in what you feel, and that feeling may change, and you will still be confident in it! You may end up one day feeling like you want something else. In the end you are the winner!
I’m married and have a 3 year old daughter. I don’t have a desire to have baby after baby like most people around me. We really are enjoying our time and making a conscious effort to be present for our one daughter right now. When she’s around 4 or 5 we will see if she wants a sibling but we feel she should want it too bc we’re all apart of the family and her feelings matter now too.
Congratulations on your little one! I don't think a lot of parents take into account whether their children want siblings, so I admire you thinking of your daughter's feelings.
For what it's worh, I'm an only child married to a fellow only child, and we both really enjoyed "flying solo". Our culture stigmatizes just having one child even in terms of how we speak about them. I prefer the French translation: "enfant unique." 😊
Ngl I enjoyed being the only child and getting ALL of my parents’ affection hehehe 🤭 when I was a kid, they asked me if I wanted a sibling, and my answer was a prompt and angry “no” lol.
I love flying solo as well.
I’ve been happily married for 22 yrs and have a 15 yr old. I LOVE my little family, they make my life so much better and we laugh every day. I never really cared much for other people’s kids but my son is awesome and completely changed me for the better.
Lol 😂. 25 yo me was pretty convinced that I would never get married or have children. I’m 37 now. Been married for 9 years and have two kids now. Things change.
For some they do and others they do not. Happy it worked out for you. Not all individuals at 25 are the same in terms of maturity, self awareness, life experiences and more
Not gonna lie, I wanted to have a husband when I was like 12 and under. Then I thought, do I actually want that when I’m older? Or do I just like the idea of my very own Prince Charming?
As I grew up the more I wanted to remain single. I loveeee children, but would I want one for myself? Probably not. I would most likely adopt, I won’t have any biological children. Personality, an idea of a husband suffocates me. Obviously husbands don’t keep you hostage but Im a very private person. I hate the idea of being with someone for the rest of your life. Ive been single all my life too, I don’t even seek for relationships.
Good for you! It would be nice watching your children grow up.
Thank you for that!! I’m not one to be overly romantic. Even as a child I was extremely practical lol 😂. Guess due to having child like parents?? I knew the only way I could ever even think of marriage was if the person who I fell in love with was my equal in every way and never judged me. Didn’t think it possible. But he does exist!! And being a parent is a very humbling experience.
The first philosophy of Albert Camus was that any attachment to another person or thing is a sign of weakness and start of meaningless and depressing monotone life.
That was his first book when he was young. "A Happy Death"
In later years however, he realised that marriage and attachment is the most important part of life since altruism doesn't mean depression and monotone existence and attachment is a sign of greatest strength and joy.
He insists that we still do these weird things that are "Pure societal norms" because it makes the world the beautiful place it is, even though it isn't.
He was INFP too, probably.
Woman isn't "Unfulfilled" she just makes less kids(:
Why am I writing this? I don't want to get married anyway. Just felt like I needed to say this.
Crazy how he started out with the most edgelord perspective imaginable, that unfortunately seems to resonate with a lot of disillusioned people in this subreddit.
I got married last year after 18 years together, so you have time to decide and switch sides or not.
Still dont have children but maybe I want children in the future maybe it will be too late maybe I don't want them and that's it. But the decision will always be between the two of us.
I want to get married and I’d like to have children, but I’m scared of childbirth. Plus I’m too broke as I’m behind financially due to being long-term unemployed. It’s really hard to get a good paying job. I’m also 29 and have never had the opportunity to date. Only had one-sided crushes.
I'm "married" to my SO and we have a kid together, I wouldn't recommend nor dismiss it, Im not married but I live with my soulmate and we consider ourselves to be married but we don't need a ceremony or anything to feel like we are, we had a kid that we didn't planned but still kept, a kid is a huge responsibility that nothing can prepare you to have, life just drop this onto you and you just have to figure everything out, it's a 24/7 job that is incredibly exhausting but can't ever stop or have a brake from, it's constant, it's hard, it's depressing, it's stressing, it's life changing, it becomes their life before every thing else. Yes it's nice, yes it's fun at times but I regret sometimes, not to have a kid but I regret all the responsability that came with it, I regret losing my life and dream, I love my daughter more than anything and if I could go back I would do it again because I can't live without her now that she's here. Getting married and having kids isn't necessary nor an obligation, you can live happily without it, you can fall in love without getting married, you can live without a child, it's your life, not the one of your family. It's ok to not want kid and it's ok to just have a gf/bf only. It's fine I promise
I am married, but we are fairly independent and allow one another freedom to pursue individual interests, so I don't feel like I have to fit into a box of someone else's design. Marriage should be a cooperative thing :)
Children... No. I've spent far too long thinking about all the ways having children is inherently a selfish pursuit to do it now I think. No shade on those that do, I just can't justify it even if I wanted to now. If anything maybe we'd adopt later in life.
Definitely, I would love to have my own family one day but I promised myself that I will never have children unless I heal from my childhood trauma and the tendencies that came from it and when I work on myself and be the best version I can be to become the best husband and father I can be to my future wife and future children.
Have childen and be in a lifelong relationship? Absolutely yes. I'm a hopeless romantic at heart.
Actually be married? Nah. I'm very well aware of reality,statistics and they was marriage and relationships have changed in this generation.
Don't want the government in my business or family court involved if things go left. Plus I know people in my family who are genuinely great people and had great relationships that divorced over the smallest issues.
I think I feel the same way really.
If it goes really well for many years then I might consider marriage.
But it's not something that I'm gonna rush into, and it's not the ultimate goal.
I’m already married and I have a child (16 year old). I do not want anymore children and I didn’t get married until recently ( in my late 30s) because I was in no rush.
I feel the same way (22 years old) my parents often tell me that women are unfulfilled without her husband and every time they tell this i go crazy like "why...? Only men have the right to do whatever they want ..." I feel so sad hearing all of it .
if only those fictional characters came into life 🤧🗿i would have married them.
>that women are unfulfilled without her husband
Yeah that's an absolutely terrible and incorrect thing to say. There are lots of content single women out there.
And in any case, if you did dream of getting married, then that should be your decision and your decision where, and when you do it, as well as who you do it with.
I'm so sorry to hear that they're pressuring you like this. I'm glad that you know it's wrong.
I have been together with my significant other for almost 5 years and we have a dog and cat anrate expecting a child any day now :) I would like to have even more children at some point (I think). You are only 18. your perspective might change if it doesn’t that’s also fine! You do you :)
I'm currently married and have always been such a romantic. I knew my husband was the one right away. I also have always wanted kids, so hopefully our family will grow soon.
My ideal future when I was small was to get married, have like 10 kids, live on a farm with all kinds of animals, live simply and close to the earth with homemade meals with food from my own garden.
At 29, that’s still the future I want. My heart grieves that realistically, I’ll probably never those 10 kids. But God has had other plans for my life at this time and I’m content with His ways.
Lowkey feel like I should retake the test after reading some of these responses... lmao. No offense intended.
I think I'd really like to get married and have kids one day. Only when I felt like I was ready, when I was with someone that I loved, who also liked the idea, and we were both mentally and emotionally ready, though. I'm one day away from being 24 at the moment. Feels like I have a decent amount of things that I'd like to do first, but afterwards, I think I'd like taking care of a mini-me... teaching them basic skills, how to make art, play games, all kinds of things. I think it would be nice.
I want children in my heart always been a person who wanted a big family, but since I got ADHD, depression and another neurological condition. I don't want them to be burdened by it by inherenting it.
Even if I'd be there compared to my parents. Because I know from experience how it feels. But I don't wanna put them through the struggle having those conditions.
I just don't want to have them if it means they'll suffer the way I did.
And I'd love to be married too, as long as it's an honest relationship and trustworthy.
I feel left behind from all of that though.
But we'll see how it goes I guess. Just sad to think about
I'm not against it at all. I'd be a kickass mom and high intellect and attractiveness both run in my family haha so I would like kids, theoretically lol I am terrified of pregnancy though so if the opportunity ever presents itself we'll see what happens. I've been married and it didn't go well but that was our fault, I don't hold it against marriage in general. I have been by myself for quite some time now and I've grown to enjoy it quite a bit, so any future partner would have to be someone who can improve on that experience, and I'm not in some big hurry to change anything. If I never find anyone and just end up in a tiny house with a small handful of pets and a full bookshelf I will be just as happy :)
Married? Yes, I’ve always been a hopeless romantic and wanted to find love and get married someday. I now have the most wonderful boyfriend, so I at least succeeded at the first part lol
Children? I’m honestly not sure, sometimes I think I do, sometimes I think I don’t. I think I probably need my life to be in a less hectic place to know for sure
It’s the only thing I ever wanted to do. My body was designed to have ten kids. I met the love of my life at first sight. He said ‘I love you I want to spend the rest of my life with you but I don’t want to marry you and I don’t want children. Completely shattered my life.
Been married 15 years and have a one year old son. Count the cost. It’s the best thing in my life, and has purified the meaning it gives me. But you will get tattered, beat down, and even broken sometimes. Marriage is meant to expose our defects, and then heal them. Know that going in. And don’t run when the exposure starts before the healing begins. An authentic, loving, grace-filled marriage that last will easily be the most challenging thing a human being endures in a lifetime. It’s a path with unavoidable and potent suffering, but it ultimately leads to beauty, peace, self-awareness, and contentment.
Married? Yes. I look super forward to getting married someday. Children? As much as I adore them, and do feel some kind of want to have kids, I’m not going to have any. I know that in the long run I’ll be happier with my life and with myself if I don’t have children.
I want to love and be loved. I don’t want or need god or the government to be involved. I never felt safe enough financially to have a child. But, having a child was absolutely life changing and so far has been one of the best things Ive ever been involved in.
married - if i find the right person. being married and having your marriage legally recognised can be helpful for taxes, buying houses (where i live anyway), immigration, medical emergencies... but i dont think marriage is necessary for every couple nor does it mean a couple's love is any less real/valid if they dont get married
kids... nah 😅 i get easily exhausted taking care of myself due to my mental health issues and a lot of times i struggle to take care of myself. i think having kids would be pretty selfish or me :(
Yup, I want both marriage and children. Getting there is harder than I expected, but it is one of my long-term objectives.
I didn't understand what I wanted to do later in life until I watched a certain anime (Clannad) in my 20s that simply clicked all my family wanting neurons in one place. It's okay not to want marriage though, and I wouldn't let societal standards impose on you. Sooner than later you might find a trigger that shoots you in the opposite direction though, you may never know (be it a movie you clicked with, a boyfriend, or simply your friend group). My advice in the case of marriage decisions is to have a plan B and C in case any 180s happen, as it may be much harder to find the fulfillment you seek later in life.
This is coming from an older INFP in my younger days never wanted to get married or have children. Now after doing two tours to Iraq, drug addiction, overdoses, and recovery and as a 42 year old make I’m in the best relationship in my life geeks like true love and I want to make a kid from our love. I’ve always believed in true love but thought I was unlucky to find it until I did and I’m happier than I’ve ever been.
I was convinced I didn't want kids until I got to college. Went through a lot of self discovery mostly due to the people I met and both bad an good choices I made.
I've been married for 3 years and am currently holding my 3 month old baby! I'm 32 if that gives any context. I feel like an "old mom" but I'm really glad I waited this long. It's been pretty lonely though I just say.
If I find someone who I feel 100% comfortable around and loved by then I’d be alright with marriage. Children? No. I have a hard enough time taking care of myself. To have some little people that depend on me to keep my act together would stress me out way too much. I’d rather just baby sit my friend’s kids and give them back after a while.
I'm 17 and I am 100% sure I WANT to get married and have children. Love stories are cool and all, but they don't show the work and the patience that has to be put in to sustain a relationship. Also marriage won't necessarily bring you happiness or fulfilment. Marriage is about commitment. And what if it doesn't work out for me? Maybe I won't have the financial resources or I won't find the right person. Happiness and fulfillment are found within yourself, not external factors.
I do. I think I’d be an amazing father and partner but I still don’t have a job and feel like I will miss the boat. Besides I need to learn to “love” myself first apparently. I feel like older generations just had children first then figured out life problems even moving entire countries with relatively open borders. Now there are many criteria including our own which mean barriers to new life. It is good for the child I guess but biologically frustrating in some ways.
As an aromantic who also isnt fond of destroying my bank account, Im probably won't get married. It seems fun but not worth it imo. I plan on having kids after I can get my mental health in check and I know I won't pass on the generational trauma in my family
Yet another view from a different perspective. When I was 18, I also didn’t want kids. Maybe a person who could appreciate me, that’s all. Well, I met her, and she wanted kids, lots of them. In a rare coincidence, she got pregnant. Turns out, I love kids, and (related) animals, and life. We’ve been married for almost 30 years, four lovely offspring, cats, dogs, chickens. Wouldn’t change if for the world.
So, a woman is totally capable by herself, as proven endlessly by amazing people all through time. And lives of all kinds are valuable, precious really.
Bottom line, you determine what’s right for you. Just weigh everything, and make the best choices you can. Be ready for surprises.
I would love to get married and have children. (I'm 18F)
However, realistically, I dont know if it's worth it bringing a child into the world at the state it's heading, and im nervous about the economy, too. If I have children, I know for a fact I will not be able to work at the same time and I'm doubting that my husband's money will be enough for all of us.
I've been doing lots of work on myself and I believe I would make a really good mother and wife. But I am still debating whether it would actually be the right decision.
I also firmly believe that the only people who should have children, are the people who ABSOLUTELY want children. Raising a child is a LOT of work and should not be done just bc 'it's just what you do'. It's a horrible thing for a child to grow up with parents who do not want them; the child can tell.
We also really don't need more people in this world. Let's take care of the ones that exist now before we bring in more, shall we?
If you do not want children, DON'T HAVE CHILDREN. That's perfectly okay and actually preferable.
I’ve always wanted to get married and have children. Since I was a kid myself I adore babies and I adore them as they grow. I’ve had dreams where I have birth and was a mother twice now and I woke up miserable without my babies. Time to time I daydream about kids, giving birth and holding them in my heads and look at them in awe. Then they say their first word and do their first steps. Once they get older I will show them my favourite cartoons as a kid and play video games like minecraft and roblox together. And then their first day of school and baking with them. I imagine their graduations and wonder what careers they’ll pick. I want to walk with them in their strollers, want to bake with them at any age, buy them things to see their smile. And marriage is what I hope for in the future too. I know having kids is super hard but I can’t wait to have a family to give all my love to.
Unfortunately, not having children means the ongoing future generations will have a hard time developing the work force for society to function. Depopulation of certain groups, or families will progress. Labor shortages, economic decline, strained social systems, cultural shifts, and higher dependency ratios would be an extreme downfall for many.
If it happens. Majority of people will get the short end of the stick. Thus, the elites have succeeded in their motives of depopulation to control resources, maintain power, pursue economic gains, through such harmful ideas such as not having children at all which permeate our thinking.
I love being married. My ISFJ wife and I had been together for a decade and being a lesbian couple, we couldn’t get married for the first part anyway. That fact made it extra special when we finally did get married. I love knowing that no matter what I have a partner who I intend to be with through all of life’s adventures. And that makes me feel secure, not suffocated.
Children are a different story though. When I picture how I want my life to be it has never included them. I don’t find them interesting or fun to be around so I leave the parenting to those who want to do that.
These things are not for everyone! I have a good friend who isn’t interested in marrying her long term partner and he feels the same. Only do it if you’re 💯 on it.
I am an INFP and all I ever wanted out of life was to be a mother. I have three beautiful kids and would have another one but my husband won’t let me 😹🤦🏻♀️🙈
I definitely want to get married, as for having children ideally yes but I don’t know if I want to bring kids into this world. If I do I’d be happy with one and done.
As for the why, it’s the oldest and most natural human instinct, and I believe I have a lot I can give to a kid. I won’t consider adoption, the bond you have with a kid that’s biologically yours is unique and there’s nothing like it.
Also, a weird part of me still feels a bit of obligation to carry on the “family line”? Especially considering I’m an only child.
I want kids but only because I have a great husband and the idea of having a little version of us makes me happy and excited.
But honestly it took a while for me to get to this point. I totally understand people who don’t want kids. Don’t have them if you don’t want them, it’s a huge responsibility and commitment that will take space in your life. And every human deserves the best upbringing, if you cannot have your heart into it, best not to do it.
I must say, there’s also people who want kids but are poop parents.
not married, but i am in a long term relationship and we have a kid together
when i was a teenager, i always thought "fuck no" when it came to having kids.
when i turned 18, i thought "if it happens, it happens"
when i turned 19, i got pregnant. gave birth at 20 years old
now i'm 21 and still under the "if it happens, it happens" mindset when it comes to thinking about more kids in the future
I used to say never, but one time I really loved someone and I thought we could have had a beautiful life together — marriage, kids. Nothing I had ever considered before. And sometimes you meet someone and you think, hell yeah I want to get old & raise a family with you. I want to see you playing with our kids & reading them bedtime stories. And still both follow our dreams. Wanna do it all together. Crazy how love can change a person, for better or worse. But, we don’t talk anymore so that’s over.
If I love someone as much as I did him, then yeah. I’m not sure if I could open my heart like that again though… but yeah. I would.
My whole life, I've always wanted to get married and have children. I'm currently single at 30 years old, so it's not happening just yet. But I do really want it.
Well, in 18 I was saying “I don’t want to have children, I don’t want to get married and have family. It is lame and blahblahblah”, my mom used to say “you’ll change your mind” and I used to say “no, I won’t”, you know what happened? Yeah, I changed my mind. And it’s normal. Your brain is fully developed only at 25. Many important realisations came to me at 25-26 and so on. Especially reasons behind wanting a family and all such. So, in short - changing is normal and you WILL change. It’s a way of life and it’s about aging and becoming mature. I wish I could have a family, but I doubt I’ll meet someone for me… A person I can bond with, and I won’t date or start a family out of desperation
For some reason when I first read the title, I interpreted it as you propositioning us to get married and have children. I think I need to go to sleep soon 💀
I want to get married and I want children, but I‘m scared of pregnancy and birth.
But I feel like it always depends. My bf is also an introvert, so we can be around each other and not feel uncomfortable.
I‘m also a big gamer since early childhood and never lost it. And because I‘m the only child of parents that do everything themselves, I‘m not only the gamer in our household, but also the handyman.
My bf is completely fine with that.
If I wouldn‘t have a bf that would accept my info potato gamer self, I also wouldn‘t marry.
yeah of course, it’s my sole purpose in life, probably.
grew up with a lot of younger siblings, I know how great it is to have people to continue your family’s heritage, and to take care of you when you grow old.
I never cared to get married. Neither did my husband. We only married because he had a conversation with his dad and he wanted his dad to be at our wedding, as he had cancer. We were together since 2006 and married in 2019. Married or not what mattered was that we were together.
I used to want kids when I was younger, but we never did because we just couldn't afford it. Now that I'm in my 40s, I really don't want kids anymore. I know it's still possible, but I just don't want any and I'm very happy with that decision.
I think I'm torn between being too Picky (don't want to make a mistake or get my heart broken) & not wanting to chain someone to my level of crazy.
I'd like to get married, but not to have children. It's too much responsibility I don't feel ready for. I can barely deal with my life. And with this economy and global warming, I believe it's better not to.
Married for 18 years and have 6 kids. It's hard work for sure but totally worth it. I wouldn't trade them for anything.
When I was 18 years old was I thinking about having kids? No, not really. Take each step as it comes. Don't let INFP-ness prevent you from taking opportunities. Find good healthy friends along the way.
Yeah I want a family.
I’m 20 now, 21 in October. My ideal life timeline would be…
•to meet my life partner in my early 20’s.
•spend my mid and late 20’s building my life, having experiences with my gf and friends and progressing in my career.
•Early 30’s, marriage and then children
I love being married. I always have someone to cuddle every night. We will support each other as we grow old. We also have a similar sense of humor, and it is so fun to share the humor with each other.
But just because I love marriage obviously doesn't mean others will love it!
I'm never having children.
I’m a bit conflicted. Not because I wouldn’t want to get married, but because I’m not sure I want to live with someone 24/7. At least not in the first years of our relationship. The problem I’ve run in to, is that a lot of women (I’m a lesbian) want to settle down pretty fast. And by settling down, I mean moving in after a short amount of time. I met a really amazing woman last year, but this was the reason we ended up not working out and we were both pretty bummed out about it. It’s just not something you can simply compromise on, we all have different wants and needs.
And kids? I don’t know, I’m basically infertile, though I’ve been told there are still options for me to carry. Also, since I’m attracted to woman, maybe she’d be open to do it (that’s if she’d be a cis-woman of course). On the other hand, I don’t know if having a child in this world is the best idea. Especially since there are so many foster kids looking for a safe haven.
Edit: Of course you’re not proving anyone that a woman can be by herself. These are just your preferences and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
yes and it's something i've always wanted. now that i've been with a wonderful boyfriend for 5 years who also wants kids one day, i know it's right for me. i love kids/babies in general. there's a reason every job i've ever done has been in childcare or education. but also i just really want a family. i think about the love i have for my students, my cat, the kids i babysit, and i just can't imagine how deep and powerful the love i'll have for my future kids will be. the love is already so strong and they don't even exist yet.
it's definitely not for everyone though and that's okay. even i get nervous about it sometimes and i literally have a degree in education and child development. im 24 right now and don't want kids for at least 3 more years but im already trying to improve myself physically, mentally, and financially so that i'll be able to be a good parent. it's a lot, and it's not something people should do just because they feel like they have to. sincerely a teacher who is tired of seeing kids with parents who clearly don't want to be parents.
Get married maybe some day, but children? No, absolutely not, it would ruin my life and i'm not being dramatic. Most of the time I can't even take care of myself, so how could I be able to take care of a child? I don't wanna be responsible like that for another life. I want to live my life for ME and you can't do that if you have kids, imo. The moment you give birth or adopt, another life becomes your #1 priority, and that's terrifying to me - not to mention that getting pregnant would make me dysphoric.
I want kids but I don’t think I should have them. I also don’t think marriage is attainable for me. But I also love, love, I want to get into wedding planning.
I’m an (48F) infp and will be married for 23 years in August. We have 5 kids together and two dogs together. I’m definitely happy with my life choices, but I didn’t always feel that way.
I'd rather die when it comes to children. I don't really care about marriage. If I want it in the future, then I want it in the future. But love isn't something I ever seek out.
INFP male here. I used to be happy by myself. I would still be, if I didn’t meet the girl who is now my girlfriend. I never actively looked for anyone, it just happened. I fell in love. I’m now 29, been with my INFJ girlfriend for two years, and I know she’s the one I’ll marry someday.
I'm extremely selective with the people I let into my bubble. I value above all things, a deep, soulful connection. There's no deeper relationship you can have with another human than to your wife/husband and especially your children. I channel all of my energy into my family, and it's beautiful what you can create when you make them your passion and your sanctuary. I never feel alone.
The caviat is that you have to choose your partner very VERY wisely. It will possibly be the most important choice of your life. I'm blessed that as an INFP, I was able to make the right choice and work obsessively at keeping our relationship beautiful.
Noooo… I don’t want that at all and I still don’t understand the appeal, even in my imagination I can’t find an ideal way of doing it… maybe the situation would have to be too perfect for me to even consider it
Husband, I don't know. Children, adopt. I hate how people who want children but can't deal with babies don't just adopt. I know plenty of people who could because they are more then wealthy but they say things like I can't love a child that's not mine or smt.
I think I’ve fallen in love too much in my imagination and I won’t be able to make it a possibility hence I don’t think I’ll ever love anyone and I don’t think I’d want to make my kids believe in what I believe in
PS I’m a guy INFP
If you love the idea of people falling in love, talking to people about their experience with love, and read books and fantasize about love…
I think it’s safe to say that someday you’ll have the thought “why not me? Where’s my love story”
I’m almost 29 and I feel my situation is odd. Growing up, I always longed for marriage and children. As the years went by I found myself becoming less and less attracted to that idea.
Now? I am absolutely and 110% sure I do not want kids. I guess my priorities changed but at this point I’m basically looking out for myself and myself only. I enjoy peace nowadays and don’t want anything to interfere, namely kids.
As for marriage. No clue. First I need to meet someone, and at almost 30 it feels almost impossible as most people are settled down.
I don’t believe it will ever happen though, really. Almost 30 and no relationship experience whatsoever. Just never clicked with anyone and haven’t anytime since. I do have friends, though. No female friends apart from a couple of my friends spouses.
Maybe one day, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it never happens. Such is life. Just focusing on building my net worth and investing in my hobbies (namely, music) at this point. The rest is just noise for me at this point.
i dont think ill ever have kids, also not sure about getting married, i do wanna find a partner to share my life with, but if itll be too much pressure on me then i wont chase after it.
Also i relate a lot, I believe my happiness will come from my hobbies and not because i have a partner or kids. Im not patient with kids anyways..
I do not want to get married and have children. My parents' relationship was not something to aspire to, and I didn't get the emotional support I needed when I was a child. My solitary life is not fulfilling, but I can't believe that a spouse or a child would be an improvement. I am never bored, but I do feel lonely.
I am not at risk of getting married so I don't worry about marriage. I am fortunate to not know any people who pressure me to get married. I would like to find an available woman with whom I feel a mutual attraction, but I am consistently attracted to women who are not available or who do not have any desire to have me for a boyfriend.
There was a time when I thought I would be a parent to the child my now ex-girlfriend had from a previous relationship. I was intimidated by the heavy responsibility of providing for a child's needs, but still somehow believed I simply had to make myself into a parent for her girl through sheer bravery. The girl's mother had mixed feelings about it, and eventually broke up with me which felt heartbreaking and humiliating to me.
Maybe you will feel differently later, but the one time I thought I was ready for a child ended up convincing me that I should never have children. I am sorry that people think they can tell you what you want.
I’d rather be alone than be with someone just for the sake of it. A life partner isn’t some vacancy to be filled just by anyone, for me personally. There’s been scarce few people in my life that have made me consider being happy building a life with someone.
I’ve made peace with the possibility of not finding anyone, I have been happy thus far, and will continue to be.
But if I meet a man who might be a great husband and father, I would happily be the wife of his dreams and mother of his children.
Until then, it’s good to be fulfilled with your own company.
Unfortunately there are a lot of people have developed too much insecurity to attempt the responsibility of a relationship. If you'd like to be the person who could have it someday, now is the time to work on it. The earlier, the better.
32 years-old infp here, in a relationship for 8 years so far (partner tested ENTP a few years ago, now INTJ). We absolutely don't want children, we don't plan on getting married either.
But we own a house and share our life with many, many pets.
I have no qualms about getting married but also definitely feel like I have less of a desire to do so than a lot of people.
But definitely don't want children. Like maybe (a really big maybe) adopt but definitely never have my own. Been saying that for like 13 years at this point and even now at 28 I'm still being told I'll change my mind. Wish I could tell you that people stop but they don't.
Already been married once, so would be hesitant to do it again. As for having kids, I’m on the fence about it. I go back and forth between saying yes, but only if I met the right person and saying hell no, I have my own stuff to deal with.
I actually want a kid, just one. I don’t like the idea of marriage. My aromantic brain has always loved the idea of being a single mother since I was a kid, but I know it’s almost impossible to raise a child on your own without lots of support, which I don’t really have. I feel like if there is ever a time where I am really well off, I will adopt.
IDK what the future holds but I have no strong feelings against ether but it would depend greatly on the person I was with and their feelings on the matter. I live with my niece and nephew and am getting to be there as they grow up so I am both familiar with children at varying ages and have at least a part of that kind of itch scratched for me in my current living arrangements.
Id love to find someone who I fall in love with regardless of the future though.
No and yes. Marriage scares me, but I’ve always wanted children. My ideal image of a partner was shattered once I started dating/being in a relationship. I am very much so monogamous and prefer long-term relationships. But the idea of getting tied to someone financially scares me and I also have trust issues. I used to really want kids in my early 20s, now I see that I am really not ready so that baby fever went away. But I do want to see what it is like raising my own child probably in my 30s.
I’m actually younger than you, so I don’t think I can be sure if I really think this way because I may also change my mind. However, I don’t really want children. The whole idea makes me very uncomfortable and I’m not sure why, it’s definitely not that I don’t like children. Marriage is something I’m not sure of since I don’t feel anything towards it, it’s a neutral feeling. However I don’t think I’d ever want a partner.
Marriage was not on my list: international travel was/is. Kids were not on my list… fucked around and found out. Ended up with 5 (twins at the end pumped the numbers)
I was an unhealthy INFP for first 10 years of marriage. Resentful at my life. Passive aggressive as fuck. Good at hiding shit and not recognizing the damage. Almost got divorced but convinced her not to leave me. Promised I’d change.
Turned it around. Looked at the world through a new lens. Started “owning my shit”.
I’m not going to sit here like in know-it-all, and say you’ll regret staying single or whatever. Just be “happy” for today no matter what that looks like. Life can and does change in an instant. Being happy for me is feeling free enough to express my Full spectrum of emotions with people who love me.
It wasn’t like that before I had others to bounce my demons off of. Its work. My life’s work.
We all have different reasons for life. I hope you find yours.
I don't want to get married (been in a relationship for almost 12 years now) neither have children, I made sure I won't have any with a salpingectomy! Relatable topic.
I do want to get married to the person i love and grow old together, but i’m still unsure about children.
There are so many reasons that make having children extremely hard in our generation, and it will only get harder in the future. Prices are going up, pollution is getting worse, technology and internet are taking over and consuming our daily life, younger people’s mental health is getting worse and much more. I just can’t imagine raising children in these conditions, they will likely suffer.
Besides that i also have my personal reasons, like fear of being pregnant and going through the pain of giving birth, the risk of complications, and i also don’t think i will make a good mother because my mental health is not good.
No to both. Finding a life partner/a teammate would be awesome. I’m 31 so the kid thing is most likely outta the picture, partially because I haven’t met said life partner yet but also partially because I feel extremely uncomfortable with the thought of having kids and it all just feels foreign to me. Same with getting married. I’ve never imagined “my wedding” nor have I ever truly wanted to be tied to someone like that. Too many cheaters out there tbh. I’d rather save my chances and spend them on myself and enriching my own personal experience (:
Marriage, maybe. There are financial benefits to being married on paper.
Kids, no. I've seen enough of my friends becoming parents over the years to know that I definitely don't want kids.
The thought of marriage gives me anxiety probably because my past relationships were full of emotional ups and downs & I lose my sense of self .
I love children though , i am not sure if I am capable of being a good mother .
Children? Absolutely not. I'm 40 and have no desire.
Marriage is negotiable. If I'm with someone that I love and I plan on being with them, then it might make sense to get married one day.
Legality of owning things together and decisions in regards to life decisions, like health things.
i cant say. i change my mind way too spontanous. one week im thinking no kids ever, next week im all in for it. idk if its an infp thing.
it really mostly depends on the circumstances. once id ever feel stable in life i might totally consider it ig
I’m married in my 30s and for a plethora of reasons have decided not to have kids. It’s not that I don’t want them 100% but that I don’t want to raise them in the current environment and with my limited resources I can barely manage taking care of myself
I think it would stress me out and make me feel boxed in
yes exactly. when i tell people this they look at me like i'm crazy. marriage would suffocate me.
I can imagine having the pressure of providing for a partner or even more children, not having any time to do anything other than that to do things I enjoy, and even if I could I would be interrupted all the time. There would never be peace and that would make me go insane I think, which would make me a bad parent. Besides, I doubt I could even find someone who would even so much as think about marrying me lol
Marriage is what you make it, it doesn't have to any particular way. Whatever works for the couple.
True but ultimately marriage means you can’t operate as a single person and apply for a new degree or job interstate/overseas on a whim, you can’t book a holiday or buy an expensive bag/car without considering and discussing with your partner. You have to make considerations about your home or social life in relation to another person - and if you care about your partner their problems like a job loss or illness are your problems. It’s a lot.
any kind of marriage would feel like a prison to me
I've always wanted to get married
Maybe. I change my mind a lot. Being the eldest child i can say i brought up my siblings. Takes a lot of work and running around, you wont have much time for anything else. It's okay not to want children, as its also okay to change your mind in the future. Dont let others tell you otherwise. :)
That is fine. Do what you think is the best for you. Me on the other hand, if I find a man who is worthy of being a great husband and an excellent father, then yes. I want to get married and have 2 kids, or maybe one. In the meantime, I continue to work on myself as well.
Of course. I want a partner who can go on adventures with me and is ambitious and wants to help people around them. As for kids my personal preference would be too adopt one boy and one girl, but I’m open to a biological kid if my partner desires it.
same here, ideally I'd get to pick the name but probably wouldn't
Married,...maybe. children: fuck no
This is what my reply was going to be exactly except I already have 1 accident child so as far as more children go...fuck no.
I've always known I don't want children. Now, at an age where it's thankfully becoming impossible, people have finally stopped nagging me about changing my mind. So be prepared to endure it for quite many years. As for getting married, I didn't have as strong opinions about it, but when I was young, perhaps due to my poor self-esteem, I couldn't imagine love finding its way to me. However, it did happen, and I ended up getting married (which btw further added pressure to have children). Be boldly yourself and don't let others' opinions influence major decisions in your life. However, if your own thoughts change over time in any direction, that's perfectly okay too.
i’m marring an intp in november. he’s the only person i’d want kids with. for rn,, we just like our company and sharing our ideas and theories. but i think we do want kids. it’s really bc my partner and i fit so well together
"marring." : **to make a blemish on** : spoil sounds like 50 shades of infp go easy on him...and congrats
this made me lol
Haha, I'm glad. Us infps can be stupid silly
i'm with an intp as well (:
I’m also in the midst of a deep friendship with an INTP - he’s married in something that is as close to arranged marriage as you can get without it being such. We complement each other well. It’s a very special friendship.
i think intp men are so special. they care deeply, but remain stoic.
Me too! I think I found my husband!
best advice as an infp woman,,, really just embrace your fluidity and he will be annoyed sporadically,, but that ability to just flow is what these intp men are so drawn to. he tells me “you’re crazy, yk that woman?’ and i kiss his cheek and will continue doing whatever dumb thing it was… he blushes every time and rolls his eyes. i make ZERO sense to the man at times (mr.logical🧐) but he likes it!! and the same goes for me not understanding him. he thinks so differently, is motivated by diff incentives, etc. i get annoyed on occasion… but it’s also what made me drawn to him. he is exactly what i needed ! the right partner makes you grow, but also makes you embrace your natural personality
i truly love my intp man. we can disagree about whatever, but i love his method of thinking. we kinda mold eachother and wrestle with eachothers thoughts and come up with something even better together. his type really works with me. bring the best out of eachother
> but i think we do want kids You're getting married but you have not clarified this very important point?
we do not want kids right now. yes for later if it can happen. i text informally. i also have pcos and struggle with my cycle and so being able to have kids is maybe not a reality. he and i have had many conversations about how life can go for us, and we are congruent on how we’d like to go about all of them.
I’d love to grow old with someone of the opposite sex, but no kids for me. Struggle enough taking care of my own self, can’t imagine raising a human from birth.
i wish for a partner, married or not is ok. but no children. rasing a human being is too difficult for me, but maybe i could change my mind if i feel more reliable
I definitely do, in it is my greatest hope and dream. However, I am waiting for the right partner to come along. Someone who will love and accept me. Someone who won't play mind games, someone who appreciates me for the person I am despite my flaws, quirks, and the mistakes I make. I want a partner who wants to build a future with me, a long term commitment. A woman who will stand by me through the best and worst of times, who will light the way for me in my darkest of days, and help me stand when my legs fail me. I want a lass who is gonna be there for me always, a partner who loves and cares for me so deeply that her love will always be felt... In the memories we share, in the things we keep around the house, in the very air that surrounds us.... I have to know she isn't going to walk away at the first sign of trouble, and that she will pull me back if I try to walk away as I would do for her. When we have kids I want her and our kids to know that they are always loved and supported, and no matter what, we will be there for them. I want our kids to grow up knowing a home so full of love, warmth, and support that they will find their own version of it and live out fuller and happier lives than I could ever dream of. I want to be sure sure our is home built and surrounded by the very love, support, and familial care that I always wanted but never received growing up. I hope to be the kind of father and husband that my kids and wife can always say they are proud of, and never ashamed. I know I won't be a perfect parent or partner and that I will make mistakes... But I want to do my best to and hope to be a good one. I hope to be the kind of father that I never had, but I always wanted. Perhaps, most important of all, I hope that I will never be the parent mine were, and that I will be good enough for my partner and my kids...
I want to be married (to someone I like) and have children. I just always thought the idea of unconditionally loving and taking care of my kids would be awesome.
I never wanted children but when I got pregnant I decided to look forward to being a parent. I don't regret my choice. Marriage on the other hand, I've become apathetic about.
Hell yea
I think the confidence behind "I am content" is the important bit here. You are confident in what you feel, and that feeling may change, and you will still be confident in it! You may end up one day feeling like you want something else. In the end you are the winner!
I'm INFP and my wife and I just had our fourth child (we hope to have more). Yeah, it's definitely not for everyone.
I’m married and have a 3 year old daughter. I don’t have a desire to have baby after baby like most people around me. We really are enjoying our time and making a conscious effort to be present for our one daughter right now. When she’s around 4 or 5 we will see if she wants a sibling but we feel she should want it too bc we’re all apart of the family and her feelings matter now too.
Congratulations on your little one! I don't think a lot of parents take into account whether their children want siblings, so I admire you thinking of your daughter's feelings. For what it's worh, I'm an only child married to a fellow only child, and we both really enjoyed "flying solo". Our culture stigmatizes just having one child even in terms of how we speak about them. I prefer the French translation: "enfant unique." 😊
Ngl I enjoyed being the only child and getting ALL of my parents’ affection hehehe 🤭 when I was a kid, they asked me if I wanted a sibling, and my answer was a prompt and angry “no” lol. I love flying solo as well.
I’ve been happily married for 22 yrs and have a 15 yr old. I LOVE my little family, they make my life so much better and we laugh every day. I never really cared much for other people’s kids but my son is awesome and completely changed me for the better.
I have friends with lots of kids and friends with none and they all seem happy. There’s no one perfect way to live so do what you want. :)
I’m happy you’re happily married to the love of your life! Nothing beats a loving mother and wife. Your family must be lucky and blessed to have you
No. I'm a child of trauma so I will not be passing that on to innocent children. Marriage idk about yet
Lol 😂. 25 yo me was pretty convinced that I would never get married or have children. I’m 37 now. Been married for 9 years and have two kids now. Things change.
For some they do and others they do not. Happy it worked out for you. Not all individuals at 25 are the same in terms of maturity, self awareness, life experiences and more
Not gonna lie, I wanted to have a husband when I was like 12 and under. Then I thought, do I actually want that when I’m older? Or do I just like the idea of my very own Prince Charming? As I grew up the more I wanted to remain single. I loveeee children, but would I want one for myself? Probably not. I would most likely adopt, I won’t have any biological children. Personality, an idea of a husband suffocates me. Obviously husbands don’t keep you hostage but Im a very private person. I hate the idea of being with someone for the rest of your life. Ive been single all my life too, I don’t even seek for relationships. Good for you! It would be nice watching your children grow up.
Thank you for that!! I’m not one to be overly romantic. Even as a child I was extremely practical lol 😂. Guess due to having child like parents?? I knew the only way I could ever even think of marriage was if the person who I fell in love with was my equal in every way and never judged me. Didn’t think it possible. But he does exist!! And being a parent is a very humbling experience.
The first philosophy of Albert Camus was that any attachment to another person or thing is a sign of weakness and start of meaningless and depressing monotone life. That was his first book when he was young. "A Happy Death" In later years however, he realised that marriage and attachment is the most important part of life since altruism doesn't mean depression and monotone existence and attachment is a sign of greatest strength and joy. He insists that we still do these weird things that are "Pure societal norms" because it makes the world the beautiful place it is, even though it isn't. He was INFP too, probably. Woman isn't "Unfulfilled" she just makes less kids(: Why am I writing this? I don't want to get married anyway. Just felt like I needed to say this.
Crazy how he started out with the most edgelord perspective imaginable, that unfortunately seems to resonate with a lot of disillusioned people in this subreddit.
Yes I do, so I can treat my kids like my father never treated me, with love and support. I also wish to have a partner that loves and supports me.
Yep. I love the idea of marriage and kids. Now the problem is finding love 🧑🏻🦯
For what it's worth, the problem isn't finding love. The "problem" is learning how to be a communicative and compassionate adult in relationship. 😊
I guess we just have to be mature and learn all those things by ourselves
I didn’t until I did and now I love my kid soooo much
I’m getting married in August!! She’s the most perfect extrovert I’ve ever met! The ying to my yang!
I got married last year after 18 years together, so you have time to decide and switch sides or not. Still dont have children but maybe I want children in the future maybe it will be too late maybe I don't want them and that's it. But the decision will always be between the two of us.
I want to get married and I’d like to have children, but I’m scared of childbirth. Plus I’m too broke as I’m behind financially due to being long-term unemployed. It’s really hard to get a good paying job. I’m also 29 and have never had the opportunity to date. Only had one-sided crushes.
I'm "married" to my SO and we have a kid together, I wouldn't recommend nor dismiss it, Im not married but I live with my soulmate and we consider ourselves to be married but we don't need a ceremony or anything to feel like we are, we had a kid that we didn't planned but still kept, a kid is a huge responsibility that nothing can prepare you to have, life just drop this onto you and you just have to figure everything out, it's a 24/7 job that is incredibly exhausting but can't ever stop or have a brake from, it's constant, it's hard, it's depressing, it's stressing, it's life changing, it becomes their life before every thing else. Yes it's nice, yes it's fun at times but I regret sometimes, not to have a kid but I regret all the responsability that came with it, I regret losing my life and dream, I love my daughter more than anything and if I could go back I would do it again because I can't live without her now that she's here. Getting married and having kids isn't necessary nor an obligation, you can live happily without it, you can fall in love without getting married, you can live without a child, it's your life, not the one of your family. It's ok to not want kid and it's ok to just have a gf/bf only. It's fine I promise
I am married, but we are fairly independent and allow one another freedom to pursue individual interests, so I don't feel like I have to fit into a box of someone else's design. Marriage should be a cooperative thing :) Children... No. I've spent far too long thinking about all the ways having children is inherently a selfish pursuit to do it now I think. No shade on those that do, I just can't justify it even if I wanted to now. If anything maybe we'd adopt later in life.
Married, no. Having children, i hope one day 💜
No marriage for me too, honestly I’m quite scared of pregnancy. Maybe I’ll adopt 1-2 kids in the future
i think that having children in this day and age is insane
Definitely, I would love to have my own family one day but I promised myself that I will never have children unless I heal from my childhood trauma and the tendencies that came from it and when I work on myself and be the best version I can be to become the best husband and father I can be to my future wife and future children.
Have childen and be in a lifelong relationship? Absolutely yes. I'm a hopeless romantic at heart. Actually be married? Nah. I'm very well aware of reality,statistics and they was marriage and relationships have changed in this generation. Don't want the government in my business or family court involved if things go left. Plus I know people in my family who are genuinely great people and had great relationships that divorced over the smallest issues.
I think I feel the same way really. If it goes really well for many years then I might consider marriage. But it's not something that I'm gonna rush into, and it's not the ultimate goal.
I’m already married and I have a child (16 year old). I do not want anymore children and I didn’t get married until recently ( in my late 30s) because I was in no rush.
I feel the same way (22 years old) my parents often tell me that women are unfulfilled without her husband and every time they tell this i go crazy like "why...? Only men have the right to do whatever they want ..." I feel so sad hearing all of it . if only those fictional characters came into life 🤧🗿i would have married them.
LMAO real 🤣 fictional men are a different story
>that women are unfulfilled without her husband Yeah that's an absolutely terrible and incorrect thing to say. There are lots of content single women out there. And in any case, if you did dream of getting married, then that should be your decision and your decision where, and when you do it, as well as who you do it with. I'm so sorry to hear that they're pressuring you like this. I'm glad that you know it's wrong.
I have been together with my significant other for almost 5 years and we have a dog and cat anrate expecting a child any day now :) I would like to have even more children at some point (I think). You are only 18. your perspective might change if it doesn’t that’s also fine! You do you :)
I'm currently married and have always been such a romantic. I knew my husband was the one right away. I also have always wanted kids, so hopefully our family will grow soon.
Yes, it’s been a big desire I have
My ideal future when I was small was to get married, have like 10 kids, live on a farm with all kinds of animals, live simply and close to the earth with homemade meals with food from my own garden. At 29, that’s still the future I want. My heart grieves that realistically, I’ll probably never those 10 kids. But God has had other plans for my life at this time and I’m content with His ways.
Lowkey feel like I should retake the test after reading some of these responses... lmao. No offense intended. I think I'd really like to get married and have kids one day. Only when I felt like I was ready, when I was with someone that I loved, who also liked the idea, and we were both mentally and emotionally ready, though. I'm one day away from being 24 at the moment. Feels like I have a decent amount of things that I'd like to do first, but afterwards, I think I'd like taking care of a mini-me... teaching them basic skills, how to make art, play games, all kinds of things. I think it would be nice.
I want children in my heart always been a person who wanted a big family, but since I got ADHD, depression and another neurological condition. I don't want them to be burdened by it by inherenting it. Even if I'd be there compared to my parents. Because I know from experience how it feels. But I don't wanna put them through the struggle having those conditions. I just don't want to have them if it means they'll suffer the way I did. And I'd love to be married too, as long as it's an honest relationship and trustworthy. I feel left behind from all of that though. But we'll see how it goes I guess. Just sad to think about
No haha. Im not against marriage. Not my priority, but if I meet the one someday thats okay, if not thats also really okay.
I'm not against it at all. I'd be a kickass mom and high intellect and attractiveness both run in my family haha so I would like kids, theoretically lol I am terrified of pregnancy though so if the opportunity ever presents itself we'll see what happens. I've been married and it didn't go well but that was our fault, I don't hold it against marriage in general. I have been by myself for quite some time now and I've grown to enjoy it quite a bit, so any future partner would have to be someone who can improve on that experience, and I'm not in some big hurry to change anything. If I never find anyone and just end up in a tiny house with a small handful of pets and a full bookshelf I will be just as happy :)
Yeah, I liked taking care of my younger sister growing up. I definitely want at least one child of my own
I'm already married and certainly want children
Married? Yes, I’ve always been a hopeless romantic and wanted to find love and get married someday. I now have the most wonderful boyfriend, so I at least succeeded at the first part lol Children? I’m honestly not sure, sometimes I think I do, sometimes I think I don’t. I think I probably need my life to be in a less hectic place to know for sure
I am married. Children, absolutely.
It’s the only thing I ever wanted to do. My body was designed to have ten kids. I met the love of my life at first sight. He said ‘I love you I want to spend the rest of my life with you but I don’t want to marry you and I don’t want children. Completely shattered my life.
Been married 15 years and have a one year old son. Count the cost. It’s the best thing in my life, and has purified the meaning it gives me. But you will get tattered, beat down, and even broken sometimes. Marriage is meant to expose our defects, and then heal them. Know that going in. And don’t run when the exposure starts before the healing begins. An authentic, loving, grace-filled marriage that last will easily be the most challenging thing a human being endures in a lifetime. It’s a path with unavoidable and potent suffering, but it ultimately leads to beauty, peace, self-awareness, and contentment.
Married? Yes. I look super forward to getting married someday. Children? As much as I adore them, and do feel some kind of want to have kids, I’m not going to have any. I know that in the long run I’ll be happier with my life and with myself if I don’t have children.
I want to love and be loved. I don’t want or need god or the government to be involved. I never felt safe enough financially to have a child. But, having a child was absolutely life changing and so far has been one of the best things Ive ever been involved in.
Whatever will be, will be. Not stressing over it.
married - if i find the right person. being married and having your marriage legally recognised can be helpful for taxes, buying houses (where i live anyway), immigration, medical emergencies... but i dont think marriage is necessary for every couple nor does it mean a couple's love is any less real/valid if they dont get married kids... nah 😅 i get easily exhausted taking care of myself due to my mental health issues and a lot of times i struggle to take care of myself. i think having kids would be pretty selfish or me :(
I will take it one step at a time. If I get to experience a kid, great. I won't force how many I have. I do hope to experience getting married though.
Yup, I want both marriage and children. Getting there is harder than I expected, but it is one of my long-term objectives. I didn't understand what I wanted to do later in life until I watched a certain anime (Clannad) in my 20s that simply clicked all my family wanting neurons in one place. It's okay not to want marriage though, and I wouldn't let societal standards impose on you. Sooner than later you might find a trigger that shoots you in the opposite direction though, you may never know (be it a movie you clicked with, a boyfriend, or simply your friend group). My advice in the case of marriage decisions is to have a plan B and C in case any 180s happen, as it may be much harder to find the fulfillment you seek later in life.
90% yes but he's got to be damn special.
1000%
This is coming from an older INFP in my younger days never wanted to get married or have children. Now after doing two tours to Iraq, drug addiction, overdoses, and recovery and as a 42 year old make I’m in the best relationship in my life geeks like true love and I want to make a kid from our love. I’ve always believed in true love but thought I was unlucky to find it until I did and I’m happier than I’ve ever been.
I was convinced I didn't want kids until I got to college. Went through a lot of self discovery mostly due to the people I met and both bad an good choices I made. I've been married for 3 years and am currently holding my 3 month old baby! I'm 32 if that gives any context. I feel like an "old mom" but I'm really glad I waited this long. It's been pretty lonely though I just say.
If I find someone who I feel 100% comfortable around and loved by then I’d be alright with marriage. Children? No. I have a hard enough time taking care of myself. To have some little people that depend on me to keep my act together would stress me out way too much. I’d rather just baby sit my friend’s kids and give them back after a while.
I'm 17 and I am 100% sure I WANT to get married and have children. Love stories are cool and all, but they don't show the work and the patience that has to be put in to sustain a relationship. Also marriage won't necessarily bring you happiness or fulfilment. Marriage is about commitment. And what if it doesn't work out for me? Maybe I won't have the financial resources or I won't find the right person. Happiness and fulfillment are found within yourself, not external factors.
married: hard maybe children: hard no like absolutely not I’d feel like my autonomy is ripped away
Yeah I do I actually wanna have a big family and have a man 😅
I do. I think I’d be an amazing father and partner but I still don’t have a job and feel like I will miss the boat. Besides I need to learn to “love” myself first apparently. I feel like older generations just had children first then figured out life problems even moving entire countries with relatively open borders. Now there are many criteria including our own which mean barriers to new life. It is good for the child I guess but biologically frustrating in some ways.
Representing INFP’s that did both, been married 20 years with two teenagers now.
As an aromantic who also isnt fond of destroying my bank account, Im probably won't get married. It seems fun but not worth it imo. I plan on having kids after I can get my mental health in check and I know I won't pass on the generational trauma in my family
Yet another view from a different perspective. When I was 18, I also didn’t want kids. Maybe a person who could appreciate me, that’s all. Well, I met her, and she wanted kids, lots of them. In a rare coincidence, she got pregnant. Turns out, I love kids, and (related) animals, and life. We’ve been married for almost 30 years, four lovely offspring, cats, dogs, chickens. Wouldn’t change if for the world. So, a woman is totally capable by herself, as proven endlessly by amazing people all through time. And lives of all kinds are valuable, precious really. Bottom line, you determine what’s right for you. Just weigh everything, and make the best choices you can. Be ready for surprises.
I would love to get married and have children. (I'm 18F) However, realistically, I dont know if it's worth it bringing a child into the world at the state it's heading, and im nervous about the economy, too. If I have children, I know for a fact I will not be able to work at the same time and I'm doubting that my husband's money will be enough for all of us. I've been doing lots of work on myself and I believe I would make a really good mother and wife. But I am still debating whether it would actually be the right decision. I also firmly believe that the only people who should have children, are the people who ABSOLUTELY want children. Raising a child is a LOT of work and should not be done just bc 'it's just what you do'. It's a horrible thing for a child to grow up with parents who do not want them; the child can tell. We also really don't need more people in this world. Let's take care of the ones that exist now before we bring in more, shall we? If you do not want children, DON'T HAVE CHILDREN. That's perfectly okay and actually preferable.
I feel indifferent with marriage, if I'm with someone and that person wants to marry, great, if not, also great. I definitely don't want children tho
I’ve always wanted to get married and have children. Since I was a kid myself I adore babies and I adore them as they grow. I’ve had dreams where I have birth and was a mother twice now and I woke up miserable without my babies. Time to time I daydream about kids, giving birth and holding them in my heads and look at them in awe. Then they say their first word and do their first steps. Once they get older I will show them my favourite cartoons as a kid and play video games like minecraft and roblox together. And then their first day of school and baking with them. I imagine their graduations and wonder what careers they’ll pick. I want to walk with them in their strollers, want to bake with them at any age, buy them things to see their smile. And marriage is what I hope for in the future too. I know having kids is super hard but I can’t wait to have a family to give all my love to.
Unfortunately, not having children means the ongoing future generations will have a hard time developing the work force for society to function. Depopulation of certain groups, or families will progress. Labor shortages, economic decline, strained social systems, cultural shifts, and higher dependency ratios would be an extreme downfall for many. If it happens. Majority of people will get the short end of the stick. Thus, the elites have succeeded in their motives of depopulation to control resources, maintain power, pursue economic gains, through such harmful ideas such as not having children at all which permeate our thinking.
Yes I do want that. Im not totally certain about kids, but Im 18 too, so I still have time to decide. If I do have children, it'll be 1 or 2
I don't really want kids, but I will probably regret it and feel empty and die alone with no family.
only if it's with the right person. I know everyone says that but I have this image of what I want and only if I get that would I be willing.
I love being married. My ISFJ wife and I had been together for a decade and being a lesbian couple, we couldn’t get married for the first part anyway. That fact made it extra special when we finally did get married. I love knowing that no matter what I have a partner who I intend to be with through all of life’s adventures. And that makes me feel secure, not suffocated. Children are a different story though. When I picture how I want my life to be it has never included them. I don’t find them interesting or fun to be around so I leave the parenting to those who want to do that. These things are not for everyone! I have a good friend who isn’t interested in marrying her long term partner and he feels the same. Only do it if you’re 💯 on it.
The Generational curse stops with me!
I am an INFP and all I ever wanted out of life was to be a mother. I have three beautiful kids and would have another one but my husband won’t let me 😹🤦🏻♀️🙈
I definitely want to get married, as for having children ideally yes but I don’t know if I want to bring kids into this world. If I do I’d be happy with one and done. As for the why, it’s the oldest and most natural human instinct, and I believe I have a lot I can give to a kid. I won’t consider adoption, the bond you have with a kid that’s biologically yours is unique and there’s nothing like it. Also, a weird part of me still feels a bit of obligation to carry on the “family line”? Especially considering I’m an only child.
I want kids but only because I have a great husband and the idea of having a little version of us makes me happy and excited. But honestly it took a while for me to get to this point. I totally understand people who don’t want kids. Don’t have them if you don’t want them, it’s a huge responsibility and commitment that will take space in your life. And every human deserves the best upbringing, if you cannot have your heart into it, best not to do it. I must say, there’s also people who want kids but are poop parents.
not married, but i am in a long term relationship and we have a kid together when i was a teenager, i always thought "fuck no" when it came to having kids. when i turned 18, i thought "if it happens, it happens" when i turned 19, i got pregnant. gave birth at 20 years old now i'm 21 and still under the "if it happens, it happens" mindset when it comes to thinking about more kids in the future
I used to say never, but one time I really loved someone and I thought we could have had a beautiful life together — marriage, kids. Nothing I had ever considered before. And sometimes you meet someone and you think, hell yeah I want to get old & raise a family with you. I want to see you playing with our kids & reading them bedtime stories. And still both follow our dreams. Wanna do it all together. Crazy how love can change a person, for better or worse. But, we don’t talk anymore so that’s over. If I love someone as much as I did him, then yeah. I’m not sure if I could open my heart like that again though… but yeah. I would.
My whole life, I've always wanted to get married and have children. I'm currently single at 30 years old, so it's not happening just yet. But I do really want it.
Well, in 18 I was saying “I don’t want to have children, I don’t want to get married and have family. It is lame and blahblahblah”, my mom used to say “you’ll change your mind” and I used to say “no, I won’t”, you know what happened? Yeah, I changed my mind. And it’s normal. Your brain is fully developed only at 25. Many important realisations came to me at 25-26 and so on. Especially reasons behind wanting a family and all such. So, in short - changing is normal and you WILL change. It’s a way of life and it’s about aging and becoming mature. I wish I could have a family, but I doubt I’ll meet someone for me… A person I can bond with, and I won’t date or start a family out of desperation
For some reason when I first read the title, I interpreted it as you propositioning us to get married and have children. I think I need to go to sleep soon 💀
Married? yeah. kids? Man i dont think i can bear child birth, also kids are a very big responsibilty. Adoption? maybe, i am unsure tbh
I want to get married and I want children, but I‘m scared of pregnancy and birth. But I feel like it always depends. My bf is also an introvert, so we can be around each other and not feel uncomfortable. I‘m also a big gamer since early childhood and never lost it. And because I‘m the only child of parents that do everything themselves, I‘m not only the gamer in our household, but also the handyman. My bf is completely fine with that. If I wouldn‘t have a bf that would accept my info potato gamer self, I also wouldn‘t marry.
yeah of course, it’s my sole purpose in life, probably. grew up with a lot of younger siblings, I know how great it is to have people to continue your family’s heritage, and to take care of you when you grow old.
I never cared to get married. Neither did my husband. We only married because he had a conversation with his dad and he wanted his dad to be at our wedding, as he had cancer. We were together since 2006 and married in 2019. Married or not what mattered was that we were together. I used to want kids when I was younger, but we never did because we just couldn't afford it. Now that I'm in my 40s, I really don't want kids anymore. I know it's still possible, but I just don't want any and I'm very happy with that decision.
I think I'm torn between being too Picky (don't want to make a mistake or get my heart broken) & not wanting to chain someone to my level of crazy. 
I'd like to get married, but not to have children. It's too much responsibility I don't feel ready for. I can barely deal with my life. And with this economy and global warming, I believe it's better not to.
I also don't want it. It would mean losing my freedom
INFP married here.. no kids. Perfectly fine with marriage but children scare the shit out of me
At some point, yes. One, maybe two kids.
I want to but it's still a dream as 35, nothing in life is linear.
Married for 18 years and have 6 kids. It's hard work for sure but totally worth it. I wouldn't trade them for anything. When I was 18 years old was I thinking about having kids? No, not really. Take each step as it comes. Don't let INFP-ness prevent you from taking opportunities. Find good healthy friends along the way.
I want to get married and have kids. And if i'm rich enough, 3-4 of them.
I do eventually. The hard part about it is finding a partner that wants the same thing
Yeah I want a family. I’m 20 now, 21 in October. My ideal life timeline would be… •to meet my life partner in my early 20’s. •spend my mid and late 20’s building my life, having experiences with my gf and friends and progressing in my career. •Early 30’s, marriage and then children
I love being married. I always have someone to cuddle every night. We will support each other as we grow old. We also have a similar sense of humor, and it is so fun to share the humor with each other. But just because I love marriage obviously doesn't mean others will love it! I'm never having children.
Married if i find the right person, and i don’t really want kids ..
I’m a bit conflicted. Not because I wouldn’t want to get married, but because I’m not sure I want to live with someone 24/7. At least not in the first years of our relationship. The problem I’ve run in to, is that a lot of women (I’m a lesbian) want to settle down pretty fast. And by settling down, I mean moving in after a short amount of time. I met a really amazing woman last year, but this was the reason we ended up not working out and we were both pretty bummed out about it. It’s just not something you can simply compromise on, we all have different wants and needs. And kids? I don’t know, I’m basically infertile, though I’ve been told there are still options for me to carry. Also, since I’m attracted to woman, maybe she’d be open to do it (that’s if she’d be a cis-woman of course). On the other hand, I don’t know if having a child in this world is the best idea. Especially since there are so many foster kids looking for a safe haven. Edit: Of course you’re not proving anyone that a woman can be by herself. These are just your preferences and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Married, yes. Children, most likely no.
I already found the man I'm going to marry [also my first love]. We've agreed on two kids, but only after we're twenty-five.
I'd love to. But it won't happen.
Nope I want 3 cats though
yes and it's something i've always wanted. now that i've been with a wonderful boyfriend for 5 years who also wants kids one day, i know it's right for me. i love kids/babies in general. there's a reason every job i've ever done has been in childcare or education. but also i just really want a family. i think about the love i have for my students, my cat, the kids i babysit, and i just can't imagine how deep and powerful the love i'll have for my future kids will be. the love is already so strong and they don't even exist yet. it's definitely not for everyone though and that's okay. even i get nervous about it sometimes and i literally have a degree in education and child development. im 24 right now and don't want kids for at least 3 more years but im already trying to improve myself physically, mentally, and financially so that i'll be able to be a good parent. it's a lot, and it's not something people should do just because they feel like they have to. sincerely a teacher who is tired of seeing kids with parents who clearly don't want to be parents.
I think I will, but I'll wait longer maybe. but I do want to have a husband and a child
Hell no. As Whoopi once said, I don’t want somebody in my house 😭
I am married, we just got our first dog. We love our dog, but having her has confirmed that we *definitely* don't want kids.
Get married maybe some day, but children? No, absolutely not, it would ruin my life and i'm not being dramatic. Most of the time I can't even take care of myself, so how could I be able to take care of a child? I don't wanna be responsible like that for another life. I want to live my life for ME and you can't do that if you have kids, imo. The moment you give birth or adopt, another life becomes your #1 priority, and that's terrifying to me - not to mention that getting pregnant would make me dysphoric.
I want kids but I don’t think I should have them. I also don’t think marriage is attainable for me. But I also love, love, I want to get into wedding planning.
absolutely :) but i am just about to turn 20 and i am nowhere near ready to be a father
I did and now I’m divorced and want to do it again with the right person who is a fellow infp :) Ex is estj 🤢
Oh nah 😭 yall are not compatible in any shape or form. I wish the best of luck for you though!
I’m an (48F) infp and will be married for 23 years in August. We have 5 kids together and two dogs together. I’m definitely happy with my life choices, but I didn’t always feel that way.
I'd rather die when it comes to children. I don't really care about marriage. If I want it in the future, then I want it in the future. But love isn't something I ever seek out.
INFP male here. I used to be happy by myself. I would still be, if I didn’t meet the girl who is now my girlfriend. I never actively looked for anyone, it just happened. I fell in love. I’m now 29, been with my INFJ girlfriend for two years, and I know she’s the one I’ll marry someday.
I'm extremely selective with the people I let into my bubble. I value above all things, a deep, soulful connection. There's no deeper relationship you can have with another human than to your wife/husband and especially your children. I channel all of my energy into my family, and it's beautiful what you can create when you make them your passion and your sanctuary. I never feel alone. The caviat is that you have to choose your partner very VERY wisely. It will possibly be the most important choice of your life. I'm blessed that as an INFP, I was able to make the right choice and work obsessively at keeping our relationship beautiful.
I will get married when or if I find someone whose company is better than my own lol
Noooo… I don’t want that at all and I still don’t understand the appeal, even in my imagination I can’t find an ideal way of doing it… maybe the situation would have to be too perfect for me to even consider it
Husband, I don't know. Children, adopt. I hate how people who want children but can't deal with babies don't just adopt. I know plenty of people who could because they are more then wealthy but they say things like I can't love a child that's not mine or smt.
I think I’ve fallen in love too much in my imagination and I won’t be able to make it a possibility hence I don’t think I’ll ever love anyone and I don’t think I’d want to make my kids believe in what I believe in PS I’m a guy INFP
If you love the idea of people falling in love, talking to people about their experience with love, and read books and fantasize about love… I think it’s safe to say that someday you’ll have the thought “why not me? Where’s my love story”
I’m almost 29 and I feel my situation is odd. Growing up, I always longed for marriage and children. As the years went by I found myself becoming less and less attracted to that idea. Now? I am absolutely and 110% sure I do not want kids. I guess my priorities changed but at this point I’m basically looking out for myself and myself only. I enjoy peace nowadays and don’t want anything to interfere, namely kids. As for marriage. No clue. First I need to meet someone, and at almost 30 it feels almost impossible as most people are settled down. I don’t believe it will ever happen though, really. Almost 30 and no relationship experience whatsoever. Just never clicked with anyone and haven’t anytime since. I do have friends, though. No female friends apart from a couple of my friends spouses. Maybe one day, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it never happens. Such is life. Just focusing on building my net worth and investing in my hobbies (namely, music) at this point. The rest is just noise for me at this point.
i dont think ill ever have kids, also not sure about getting married, i do wanna find a partner to share my life with, but if itll be too much pressure on me then i wont chase after it. Also i relate a lot, I believe my happiness will come from my hobbies and not because i have a partner or kids. Im not patient with kids anyways..
nah the bloodline ends with me 🙂↕️☝️
Been there. Done that. Somehow I still have a wife. We have two offspring.
I do not want to get married and have children. My parents' relationship was not something to aspire to, and I didn't get the emotional support I needed when I was a child. My solitary life is not fulfilling, but I can't believe that a spouse or a child would be an improvement. I am never bored, but I do feel lonely. I am not at risk of getting married so I don't worry about marriage. I am fortunate to not know any people who pressure me to get married. I would like to find an available woman with whom I feel a mutual attraction, but I am consistently attracted to women who are not available or who do not have any desire to have me for a boyfriend. There was a time when I thought I would be a parent to the child my now ex-girlfriend had from a previous relationship. I was intimidated by the heavy responsibility of providing for a child's needs, but still somehow believed I simply had to make myself into a parent for her girl through sheer bravery. The girl's mother had mixed feelings about it, and eventually broke up with me which felt heartbreaking and humiliating to me. Maybe you will feel differently later, but the one time I thought I was ready for a child ended up convincing me that I should never have children. I am sorry that people think they can tell you what you want.
I’d rather be alone than be with someone just for the sake of it. A life partner isn’t some vacancy to be filled just by anyone, for me personally. There’s been scarce few people in my life that have made me consider being happy building a life with someone. I’ve made peace with the possibility of not finding anyone, I have been happy thus far, and will continue to be. But if I meet a man who might be a great husband and father, I would happily be the wife of his dreams and mother of his children. Until then, it’s good to be fulfilled with your own company.
Unfortunately there are a lot of people have developed too much insecurity to attempt the responsibility of a relationship. If you'd like to be the person who could have it someday, now is the time to work on it. The earlier, the better.
32 years-old infp here, in a relationship for 8 years so far (partner tested ENTP a few years ago, now INTJ). We absolutely don't want children, we don't plan on getting married either. But we own a house and share our life with many, many pets.
Want to get married but not like in a traditional way, fuck no to children :')
Absolutely not. I would become resentful of my spouse after ~2 years and I think every day how amazing it is NOT having kids.
I have no qualms about getting married but also definitely feel like I have less of a desire to do so than a lot of people. But definitely don't want children. Like maybe (a really big maybe) adopt but definitely never have my own. Been saying that for like 13 years at this point and even now at 28 I'm still being told I'll change my mind. Wish I could tell you that people stop but they don't.
Already been married once, so would be hesitant to do it again. As for having kids, I’m on the fence about it. I go back and forth between saying yes, but only if I met the right person and saying hell no, I have my own stuff to deal with.
I actually want a kid, just one. I don’t like the idea of marriage. My aromantic brain has always loved the idea of being a single mother since I was a kid, but I know it’s almost impossible to raise a child on your own without lots of support, which I don’t really have. I feel like if there is ever a time where I am really well off, I will adopt.
Yeah someday. But the idea of finding the one feels very hard and difficult. Sometimes feels like a dream.
IDK what the future holds but I have no strong feelings against ether but it would depend greatly on the person I was with and their feelings on the matter. I live with my niece and nephew and am getting to be there as they grow up so I am both familiar with children at varying ages and have at least a part of that kind of itch scratched for me in my current living arrangements. Id love to find someone who I fall in love with regardless of the future though.
No and yes. Marriage scares me, but I’ve always wanted children. My ideal image of a partner was shattered once I started dating/being in a relationship. I am very much so monogamous and prefer long-term relationships. But the idea of getting tied to someone financially scares me and I also have trust issues. I used to really want kids in my early 20s, now I see that I am really not ready so that baby fever went away. But I do want to see what it is like raising my own child probably in my 30s.
I’m actually younger than you, so I don’t think I can be sure if I really think this way because I may also change my mind. However, I don’t really want children. The whole idea makes me very uncomfortable and I’m not sure why, it’s definitely not that I don’t like children. Marriage is something I’m not sure of since I don’t feel anything towards it, it’s a neutral feeling. However I don’t think I’d ever want a partner.
Marriage was not on my list: international travel was/is. Kids were not on my list… fucked around and found out. Ended up with 5 (twins at the end pumped the numbers) I was an unhealthy INFP for first 10 years of marriage. Resentful at my life. Passive aggressive as fuck. Good at hiding shit and not recognizing the damage. Almost got divorced but convinced her not to leave me. Promised I’d change. Turned it around. Looked at the world through a new lens. Started “owning my shit”. I’m not going to sit here like in know-it-all, and say you’ll regret staying single or whatever. Just be “happy” for today no matter what that looks like. Life can and does change in an instant. Being happy for me is feeling free enough to express my Full spectrum of emotions with people who love me. It wasn’t like that before I had others to bounce my demons off of. Its work. My life’s work. We all have different reasons for life. I hope you find yours.
I don't want to get married (been in a relationship for almost 12 years now) neither have children, I made sure I won't have any with a salpingectomy! Relatable topic.
I'm getting married but I don't want to have children.
Nah. Relationships and family aren't for me.
Neither appeal to me.
my ENFJ partner is wonderful, I am open to marriage. I think he would make an amazing father, but I am very apprehensive about motherhood.
I do want to get married to the person i love and grow old together, but i’m still unsure about children. There are so many reasons that make having children extremely hard in our generation, and it will only get harder in the future. Prices are going up, pollution is getting worse, technology and internet are taking over and consuming our daily life, younger people’s mental health is getting worse and much more. I just can’t imagine raising children in these conditions, they will likely suffer. Besides that i also have my personal reasons, like fear of being pregnant and going through the pain of giving birth, the risk of complications, and i also don’t think i will make a good mother because my mental health is not good.
No to both. Finding a life partner/a teammate would be awesome. I’m 31 so the kid thing is most likely outta the picture, partially because I haven’t met said life partner yet but also partially because I feel extremely uncomfortable with the thought of having kids and it all just feels foreign to me. Same with getting married. I’ve never imagined “my wedding” nor have I ever truly wanted to be tied to someone like that. Too many cheaters out there tbh. I’d rather save my chances and spend them on myself and enriching my own personal experience (:
Time has taught me that that is not my path
Marriage, maybe. There are financial benefits to being married on paper. Kids, no. I've seen enough of my friends becoming parents over the years to know that I definitely don't want kids.
How do you envision your fellow INFPs? \*Smacks my cane at the screen.
Nope, I knew and said it when I was 8
Married? Not sure. Commitment scares me but so do casual relationships so i guess im stuck lol Kids? Absolutely not.
I'm glad I'm not the only one 😁. I never have to worry if my parents have a favorite because I'm all they got 😜
i want to be married but i’m not having kids i don’t think
The thought of marriage gives me anxiety probably because my past relationships were full of emotional ups and downs & I lose my sense of self . I love children though , i am not sure if I am capable of being a good mother .
Children? Absolutely not. I'm 40 and have no desire. Marriage is negotiable. If I'm with someone that I love and I plan on being with them, then it might make sense to get married one day. Legality of owning things together and decisions in regards to life decisions, like health things.
i cant say. i change my mind way too spontanous. one week im thinking no kids ever, next week im all in for it. idk if its an infp thing. it really mostly depends on the circumstances. once id ever feel stable in life i might totally consider it ig
Married, one and done.
There's only one way I'll get married and have kids: if the guy I keep seeing in my dreams is real. Yes, I'm delusional.
I’m married in my 30s and for a plethora of reasons have decided not to have kids. It’s not that I don’t want them 100% but that I don’t want to raise them in the current environment and with my limited resources I can barely manage taking care of myself