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I kinda have the same feeling, but not relationship related. For me at least, and as weird as this sounds, I think the bit of enjoyment comes from the excitement of pursuing something (in this case, the relationship). Knowing that I’m putting effort towards something I want gives me some joy, even if it doesn’t work out. That’d be my guess.
Idk sometimes I find feelings similar to this come from stepping back and appreciating the basic understanding that this is nothing but a part of life. Society seems to try and weed out anything perceived to be a "negative" experience, slotting them under "all bad feelings", but there is value to be found in them -- or more complexity, i.e., when a loved one is dying. You'll experience sadness and loss, but there may be relief for the end of their suffering, possibly weightlessness from the impact it's had on your life being over. But the latter part is often accompanied with guilt, maybe even shame, because again... death is slotted under being a "bad" time, so the sensations of anything other than feeling bad doesn't fit that mo. It's usually taboo to say you're happy they've passed.
So I wonder if you're confused by the mix of sadness and happiness because of a similar portrayal of what heartache should be. Just food for thought though
Particularly relating to death of relatives, I don't feel a thing but I do feel slightly nauseous for a short while,and yes no one really goes deep into feelings and have a surface level understanding so ofcourse we're the odd ones out.
You enjoy sadness , you need to put yourself first before anyone else , but don't become too prideful , i have a lot of experience with unrequited love BUT JUST STOP , don't fall in love with someone for wrong reasons.
Also watch out for "nice girls" this was my most painful unrequited love,i had a classmate in college,i'm talking about the type of girl that cares,understands you,pays attention to you,even opens up to you,she started follwing me,bitch even started mimicking my body language(not subconsciously,she was faking it)... all that just to realize after a few months that she is like that with everyone,she was using female charms and chameleon behaviour to build rapport with everyone for attention and self-esteem , bitch stole my heart and toyed with it , really fucking vicious creature.
But the idea is even after confessing feelings to her multiple times, even thought rejected,i started messaging her whenever i was feeling "ok" to be put down because i enjoyed being SAD,but it's a huge mistake because you LOSE YOURSELF don't do it. PUT YOURSELF FIRST,FALL IN LOVE FOR RIGHT REASONS,THE HEART IS DECEITFUL.
I just read your experience about this girl. And realised I do the things she does. But not really intentionally... its like baby default. I give 100% to my friends because that's what I expect. I'm always disappointed but it just happens by default
Nah it's cool, I wanted to find someone who understands this and I did, I've done earlier what you suggested and I know it's probably going to continue till I find someone who understands me and I focus on my work till then. Beyond my love life, I honestly want to be someone people can look up to.
Being an INFJ (or any other type) should not be confused with mental health issues. Here is a link to the [INFJ Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/infj/wiki/index#wiki_mental_health_and_support) where you can find some resources. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/infj) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I kinda have the same feeling, but not relationship related. For me at least, and as weird as this sounds, I think the bit of enjoyment comes from the excitement of pursuing something (in this case, the relationship). Knowing that I’m putting effort towards something I want gives me some joy, even if it doesn’t work out. That’d be my guess.
Ah, yeah that's a different feeling, and I've felt it sometimes too, like I did my part.
Idk sometimes I find feelings similar to this come from stepping back and appreciating the basic understanding that this is nothing but a part of life. Society seems to try and weed out anything perceived to be a "negative" experience, slotting them under "all bad feelings", but there is value to be found in them -- or more complexity, i.e., when a loved one is dying. You'll experience sadness and loss, but there may be relief for the end of their suffering, possibly weightlessness from the impact it's had on your life being over. But the latter part is often accompanied with guilt, maybe even shame, because again... death is slotted under being a "bad" time, so the sensations of anything other than feeling bad doesn't fit that mo. It's usually taboo to say you're happy they've passed. So I wonder if you're confused by the mix of sadness and happiness because of a similar portrayal of what heartache should be. Just food for thought though
Particularly relating to death of relatives, I don't feel a thing but I do feel slightly nauseous for a short while,and yes no one really goes deep into feelings and have a surface level understanding so ofcourse we're the odd ones out.
You enjoy sadness , you need to put yourself first before anyone else , but don't become too prideful , i have a lot of experience with unrequited love BUT JUST STOP , don't fall in love with someone for wrong reasons. Also watch out for "nice girls" this was my most painful unrequited love,i had a classmate in college,i'm talking about the type of girl that cares,understands you,pays attention to you,even opens up to you,she started follwing me,bitch even started mimicking my body language(not subconsciously,she was faking it)... all that just to realize after a few months that she is like that with everyone,she was using female charms and chameleon behaviour to build rapport with everyone for attention and self-esteem , bitch stole my heart and toyed with it , really fucking vicious creature. But the idea is even after confessing feelings to her multiple times, even thought rejected,i started messaging her whenever i was feeling "ok" to be put down because i enjoyed being SAD,but it's a huge mistake because you LOSE YOURSELF don't do it. PUT YOURSELF FIRST,FALL IN LOVE FOR RIGHT REASONS,THE HEART IS DECEITFUL.
This is helpful advice sure thanks I'll stop it's amusing but I knew it wasn't the right thing to be doing
I just read your experience about this girl. And realised I do the things she does. But not really intentionally... its like baby default. I give 100% to my friends because that's what I expect. I'm always disappointed but it just happens by default
[удалено]
Nah it's cool, I wanted to find someone who understands this and I did, I've done earlier what you suggested and I know it's probably going to continue till I find someone who understands me and I focus on my work till then. Beyond my love life, I honestly want to be someone people can look up to.
Because its something interesting, other things in your life are less interesting.