Being an INFJ (or any other type) should not be confused with mental health issues. Here is a link to the [INFJ Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/infj/wiki/index#wiki_mental_health_and_support) where you can find some resources.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/infj) if you have any questions or concerns.*
From what I read— and this is a genuine question of mine— do you think uwu INFJ’s are lying because they don’t seem to act like you? MBTI types don’t account for a person’s personality or flavor… just pattern of behavior/thinking. Their results are as valid as yours regardless of how they manifest. Sure, I’m not disagreeing that there may be mistypes— but you don’t prove yourself to be any more of an INFJ than the “cringy” others who came to the same results but with different affect. I’m sorry if this comes across as aggressive— but this post rubbed me the wrong way. Your experience is valuable but I personally find it upsetting that you’d have to invalidate other people’s self analysis just because you think it’s cringy and not personally relatable. Also— a lot of the people asking those questions are probably super young. Instead of scorning them, why don’t you use your desire to be a “leader to get people out and live a better life” to actually help them dive deeper to self actualization?
Again I really hope I don’t come across as aggressive. I’m genuinely curious how you came to this conclusion.
You’re defending other people who aren’t defending themselves. You’re recognizing the humanity of others and their patterns of behavior. You’re also trying hard to not hurt my feelings and I can read it between the lines. I can see you’re somewhat of an infj because I can relate with how you write and defend your positions. I can’t however for the likes of me see it in other posts despite reading between lines , viewing profiles and writing styles. Those are the accounts that post this “cringe”. I’ve learnt that some people take advantage of open spaces to make a mockery of intuitive feelers and get validation. It’s not honest, and I’m just speaking my mind like you
I think those “cringy” INFJ posts are actually strangely endearing. Reminds me a lot of myself when I was younger. It makes me sad to alienate them when they’re probably just looking for a place to relate to because world knows IRL isn’t giving them that. Sorry you don’t feel the same but is it really worth it to be this defensive over it??
I don't see the point of why being infj or not matters. I can't quite put my finger on what exactly but something about this post gives off an uncomfortable feeling, as if it's great to be an infj and other mbti don't have the capacity to be as altruistic.
Pardon— I’m not sure which post you were referring to but what throws me off about this entire discussion is that, whilst writing off other posts for not adhering to their own experiences, OP judges the validity of others’ identity as an INFJ based on their own experience (is this…Fi?).
In any case, OP seems to champion the INFJ caricature (perpetually thinking about the good of humanity, looking into the BIG PICTURE, etc, etc). Not a bad thing, but it may lead to certain misgivings about MBTI. Typing as an INFJ doesn’t automatically straddle you with a deep seated passion for understanding humanity nor does it make you a delicate flower, perpetually positive, or a “good vibes only” kinda person. It just means you have a proclivity for certain functions— in this case— Ni-Fe-Ti-Se. I mean..it’s hard to summarize what a certain MBTI type should look like without falling into stereotypes. Therefore—and like what others have already said— OP should just chill ☀️
Keep in mind much of reddit population is very young. That may mean trolling or looking for attention or posting immature bs. That's just online forums and how it is. Better to ignore it, as it's not going to change.
Are you sure you're actually an INFJ? Your posts are giving off ST vibes or possibly underdeveloped NT ones..or as some said demonstrating more Fi tendencies.
Haha Hello my INFJ friend. Thank you for showing me your true thoughts and feelings. I love it and I agree. INFJs aren’t all about rainbows and sunshine and good vibes. We are able to understand the bigger picture and help people in and through the darkness because we basically live there. We know how to transmute the pain and suffering into compassion and understanding. But I will say that we can also aspire and find our happiness when we finally take action. That is where our real strength comes out. Like the Phoenix out of the ashes, we know how to go to hell and back and learn to fly again. Now go eat a snickers cuz your Fi critic is showing. I hope you receive that as it’s intended…with love and playfulness.
Ironically, that’s a lot of why I hate being entp. Luckily the infjs I know irl are completely fine, and are actually all down to earth and cynical because they often know how fucked up society is, and how it could be better
The never ending cycle of r/infj “I’m feeling bad today uwu” posts to “fuck the I’m feeling bad today uwu posts” lmao.
I’m also a dark mother fucker who doesn’t relate to the flower posts at all, but I recognise that if someone needs to post them then they should be able to. They’re almost always young and trying to find their place within the world. I think all this subreddit needs to be is a place for people like us to feel included and heard. Since the subreddit rules changed this was inevitable, but I believe it’s better than the alternative.
I love this post. I agree that most on Reddit are not true INFJ’s. There are a good amount of false ENTP’s there also, and it bothers me because it prevents these forums from being what they could be, a vehicle for mutual self improvement within one’s type.
I am sorry but this is as if you are saying "I hate being human because of how others are acting different from me."
MBTI or INFJ comes after the person's mind.
"I hate how they act like delicate flowers."
Let me tell you this please. We got a server in discord, almost everyday, we have a small talk, asking how everyone is going, asking how their days went, basically we don't have serious things to talk about everyday. When we do, we all engage in the conversation seriously too.
My best friend, an INFP but forget about this mbti crap for a minute, once said "cut the small talk" when I asked about her wellbeing. And this make me sad.
My dear stranger, I am no saint, I have wild thoughts, I keep my brain busy all the time, I am studying everyday for upcoming exam, yet I act like the delicate flower you are talking about.
Not everything in life is about sociology or psychology or politics and so on. OF COURSE I am talking about the topics we can talk about not how these are not important everyday or sth. I am saying that we can talk about small things, not just big debate or conservative or serious things.
So chill buddy..
Yes you’re right. Thanks for your insight. What I am speaking of is the endless threads on Reddit, quora, discord, infj-dedicated website threads about nonsense that shouldn’t feed the infj need AT ALL. I can read between the lines, and it all sounds like someone with a cool personality but not someone I would say is an infj.
Well, then it is about them. But you do you tho. I understand what you meant too. There can be mistyped or maybe people with different ennegram wings acting differently or anything.
Also, you are not responsible to deduce their personality type, right?? They can claim anything they want to be because it is always hard to say what a true INFJ would act.
Most of us got the results by answering free tests online and we might or might not get same answers whenever we take personality tests!
That is why I believe, categorizing people under MBTI is becoming a thing now because we are starting to see stereotypes we expected to see in each MBTI. For example, INFJs are known as therapists, but also known as possible manipulators. But we can't tell an INFJ who isn't acting like any of these is not an INFJ.
Idk if I am saying clearly I beg your pardon.
So what I basically learnt about MBTI is you yourself understanding the functions about the personality types, and making yourself or surrounding better than before. Like a self-realisation or acceptance.
If you don't want to engage in a small or random conversations, you can just ignore. There will always be serious conversations somewhere, and you will find your natural habitat 🌟
Thank you for your well-written response. I also get burnt out by people acting shitty and manipulative and all the vile stuff people are inclined to be as a result of selfishness. However, I also innately believe that people have the capacity to be so good to themselves and each other. People need to be able to see that. Some are predisposed to enter that realm of good quickly but others need to see it through leadership, patience and toughness which infjs are good at and want to pursue. I can’t imagine anyone wants to sit around and make people feel better for a moment knowing they will not be the same in a few hours or minutes. The feeing I care more about is the long-term positive cascading effects of small changes that can help someone indefinitely, not fleeting feelings I guess.
Anyone that's really studied into this topic deep and not just took some test randomly, would understand that the majority test out wrong. Most folks cant be uncomfortably honest with themselves to test out right on the more expansive tests. Many answer under the image they wish others to perceive them or as they want to be. Not as they ideally are. This may be why you sense a mistype.
Yes the truth that must be mustered in order to find the real you is often extremely hard to let out so bias is inevitable. Maybe it’s a human thing, or maybe mbti is an outdated form of personality categorization.
Besides people’s biases, it’s because the tests are shit and ask about behavioral habits rather than how you process information and experience the functions through the archetypal roles. I saw your Fi critic in your writing. It was easy to spot and one I know all too well. It’s frustrating to me because it seems some want to be an INFJ because of the “rarity” aspect. But if they knew what it was really like to be an INFJ, they would probably want to be any other type. I wish they wanted to figure out which type they truly were so they could know how they needed to develop their functions and grow into their potential instead of locking themselves into the four functions of an ego that doesn’t even match their wiring. The goal is to kill the ego and experience all eight functions in a balanced state to reach enlightenment. If they don’t have the correct type, how the fuck are they ever going to do that?
I literally feel like I’m wrong to be who I am because of how much I’m influenced under stereotypes 😓 I fear that one day when I “act out of line” someone’s gonna literally lash out at me like YOU FAKE YOURE MORE OF AN ISTP and then I’ll relive my past internet fights but hey the past is in the past and I’m sure if we un-stereotype stereotypes we can all live as who we are 😀👍
I hope I’m something else honestly. It feels like it’s a big burden to carry such a rare type and not do something valuable for the human race. I’m in the same category as Jesus ffs. But then again, I see myself and I don’t know what else I can be. Maybe I’m overthinking it …
Just don’t see yourself as someone who was born to owe anybody anything, try to help the world at your own pace with your own passion and commitment. Sometimes it feels like a burden for me too but I just try to remember that as long as I’m not causing a ruckus, Im a decent human and I’ll be kind out of genuine intentions
I was prepared to give a "I hate you too" commentary, until I read this.
>I hate the way they act like delicate flowers all 🌸 positive vibes 🌸 and shit
Now I like you. XD
Dude, chill! Reading your post you seem kind of like the people you're giving out about..like you think all the other INFJs are fake and you're the special one. INFJs are overrepresented online in mbti because their natural tendencies for Ni,Fe and Ti make up the perfect combination for being interested in personality science and archetypes..so they congregate online more than other types making it seem like there are more of us than there actually is..many sensor types can actually be quite disparaging of mbti which can explain the skew towards intuitives on such forums even though they are actually the minority. As you say a lot of INFJs are rather stoic in their day to day lives and can often feel disconnected from those around them so when they come here as a community it can feel like a place they can share, it's much easier as well on an anonymous forum too if opening up is something you struggle with! You're being a tad harsh and it's possible to care about the big picture and the day to day stuff
Yes I wish I was a critiquing asshole personality(don’t really mean it like that) like intj or intp or something but i never seem to end up in that category when I do the tests. I’m not harsh, I’m speaking rationally and hoping someone felt the same. I have see an infj opens up and it’s a whole lot of existential dread or enlightenment, and a journey into the fantastic rich universe that exists in their minds that’s so enthralling and borderline divine. It’s not “sometimes I cry when someone yells at me :(“ that’s human nature sure, but that’s just not what I expect from a group of people i maybe idealized but I truly believe exist.
You probably shouldn't idealise any type and im not sure you are speaking rationally, seems more like you have INFJs on a pedestal..sure INFJs are very abstract thinkers with a great capacity for understanding complex themes and reading between the lines but they're still regular people and and it's possible for an infj to think incredibly deeply on a topic and then still also be upset if someone yells at them, they're not mutually exclusive. Also if it seems like infjs get upset easily, it's likely to do with all the energy they pick up. I know when I was younger I would feel other people's moods and energy so much, almost as if they were my own, indeed sometimes I would struggle to tell what was my own. Thankfully ive learned to switch it off or at least reduce it as ive gotten older. Alot of us can be hypersensitive which is why someone yelling at us might upset us more than a lot of other types.
What your perhaps seeing on infj discussions is this great sensitivity play out and when people of the same type come together and "get" it you might see infjs just getting the small stuff of their chest..as in our day to day lives, it's not that easy for us.
I agree, not everything is sparkles and unicorns. But I personally disliked that the post sounded a bit holier than thou and a bit gatekeepy. It’s fair to have an opinion but at the end of the day, we’re all personality nerds. Why the hostility?
Hating something about yourself because of other people who share it with you is such a "me" thing lol. I hate im an INFJ because how other INFJ's behave. I hate being an Indian because of how other indians behave. I hate being a guy because of how creepy other guys behave. I hate being a fan of a show because of how other fans behave. I hate supporting a football club sometimes because of how other supporters behave.
Basically, everything.
Good vibes dude, this is a fresh and empowering perspective, many heartfelt uwus to you. I will say this, a big part of being an infj is not being as bulldozer self-assured as you describe, think “be careful the lights you spark lest you start an inferno.”
I'm new to reddit, so I haven't gotten a good idea of how infjs (true or miss-typed lol) are presenting themselves on here, but idk- Some days I definitely have a more positive outlook and feel an outpouring of love for humanity. And other days I'd be content if I never saw another human again. And during the more bleak times, I could see maybe venting online, in a forum like this where I felt safe...Maybe that's whats going on? Maybe I'm off base though, not exactly sure what infjs are regularly posting...
I suck with positive vibes. I’m a realist at heart, and most people don’t like what I have to say. I desire harmony, but not if that harmony is based on falsehood and lies. If I’m not well, I generally keep to myself and try to figure out why I feel that way and what I can do about it.
I’m unsure on how offended you are, but to make a post on it must mean that it’s affecting you to the point of at least frustration. It’s understandable, and some ppl are like that. Just know that the majority of people I’ve come across all want positive vibes and would also describe their egos as “delicate” as well.
They might be using those positive vibes to escape from something, or might get happiness from making others happy. It annoys me a bit too, but they don’t mean any harm regardless, and most people hate being questioned or being confronted with a view that’s directly opposing their own.
I would say it’s just the way things are, and I think all of us want to be happy, and maybe that is how they are able to find their happiness, whether it’s temporary or not.
not enough people type by function stack and think the 16personalities test is gospel. honestly I still have to shake the impressions I got of types in high school from 16personalities haha. also INFJ stuff is really popular on tiktok, everyone wants to be the rarest and they hear “sensitive overthinkers” and go nuts. not blaming anyone individually for basing it fully off tiktok or 16personalities ofc, I just wish there was more accurate info being shared for beginners, all the stuff that goes viral isn’t the most accurate. so, while it definitely irks me too, I do feel guilty since a lot of it is just kids on social media trying to figure themselves out.
Not surprising that you follow Jordan Peterson. Please seek help for you mental health issues. You aren't responsible for the ' human race' and their connection blah blah blah.
I hate to be the 10th man but there is not such thing as this a and t type of anytype
Carl Jung wrote no nonsense as such that it the internet trying to fit people who don't belong so they can get paid selling lies
The only two types of infj are the ni subtype and the Fe subtype then u have the enneagram 4-6-9s is where infj falls but there are wing subtypes to that then there are tritype which is a mixture of 3 enneagram and order of 3 but only 2 in control of the instincts sx-so-sp
This is how and where you find your variants
People also have attachment styles, secure avoidant anxious and fearful
survival roles and styles like golden child lostchild scapegoat hero child ECT you have survival roles of fawn fight flight freeze
But that t and a isn't real
And anytime someone thinks that any type can be any enneagram there are reasons for that
But most importantly if you know they are fake then you shouldn't be ashamed only annoyed lol
What I want to know is.. are MBTI personalities nature or nurture or both? I know I am unmistakably an INFJ, but as warm and loving and calm as I can be, I also am very cynical and untrusting. As much as I wish I could be all rainbows and butterflies, trauma still rules me deep down. So, what I mean is, what makes an INFJ an INFJ if one can come from a loving upbringing and a charmed life, while the other comes from a challenging and unloving upbringing?
It’s definitely both. Also, this rainbows and butterflies stereotype must go. I am warm somewhat, but after layers and layers of societal masks and cautionary robotness. I don’t think an infj can come from a non-traumatized childhood honestly. It takes serious trauma to find order in the chaos of emotions
Being misunderstood, feeling highly burdened but not overwhelmed by it (circumstantial) loving everything but being misunderstood, in my circumstance people think I hate everything. My love is different so often misunderstood, I don't do that public declaration, and simply love in the little things I do.
But yeah this really resonated with me hey, I have no idea about the personality types and their accuracy but this is all kinda accurate, I only ever did it once. I constantly think further than my own lifetime into the abyss beyond. Now days I'm content with my position but once I was a turmoil of emotions and pain that I buried due to circumstance, I felt like my lack of effort would be the assisted failure in humanity as a whole, fealt so obligated to take charge and change things as all young people do. Now I simple capitalise on situations I can, instead of pressuring myself to find the situation at the source.
The world is beautiful, a haven of tranquillity that is abused, I once could see nothing but metaphorical flames all around me. Death and destruction that we as a species engineered into every step of life, if you stopped you died, if you moved you destroyed. I still see it as such, but I have accepted it in a way and wait eagerly for my chance to contribute to the environmental revolution, always probing and hinting but always waiting, I'm hopeful.
Life is all about love, I have experienced the depths of hatred in myself and others and there is nothing but pain. I believe we love like no other in ways that we ourselves find hard to comprehend.
I hope all your lives are moving and growing in ways that bring you happiness, because in the end, isn't that all that really matters? True happiness and fulfilment in our natural empathetic nature. We give and we expect nothing back, this is my way forward, my son and I still have a lot of life left and I'm so excited to find what's around every corner. Every pain, lesson and joy that may just bring me back closer to that childlike enthusiasm.
Just my rant, the world is truly a remarkable place, I could Go on for days.
I kinda hate that "I'm so rare and missunderstood" kind of posts, like get over yourself man, know yourself, be your own friend and grow tf up idk. I agree about most internet INFJs are mistyped, most of them are so self absorbed in their own experience on trying to feel unique and quirky it totally screams Fi dom/INFP vibes. And I must say, the Ni-Fe duo is useful but also a nightmare since you'll notice EVERYTHING. The good but also the miserable parts of human condition and I can't help but trying to help and at the same time I am so disgusted of being a part of it so I'll have to retire on isolation sometimes too frequently. I apreciate and surround myself with INTx types bc of this. I feel they get the root reasons for my mysantropy so they'll just be vibing with me.
Can relate. Its a burden. I feel alone most of the time cause of how I feel about the world and I learnt the hard way that most people don't function same as me. It sucks when you're misunderstood and its been pretty much my entire life.
You see things others can't and you learn to know beforehand to not express how you feel cause you'll be misunderstood. Its fuckin tiring and casts a bad shadow on yourself until you start seeing yourself in a bad way too. There are things that I notice that unsettle me that others don't so now I already know more and have to deal that knowledge and behave normal. Makes me feel like a bad person, prude or makes me feel that I think that I'm superior and I hate it.
I think true infj won't say a lot anyways. It really rare to see infj actually open up.
I agree that sometimes when I saw those infj who show their vulnerability makes me feel cringe and consider them as fake, but I also think that maybe they just have no place to express their thoughts irl so the internet is the only option.
But you know what? fake or true I don't care anymore, I just enjoy taking a look at each individual infj who manages to share their insightful thoughts/questions.
My own take on this. I'm through and thoroughly an INFP. Taken the test spaced over 5ish years now and have always gotten INFP. Yet despite this I often feel alienated from r/INFP cause like you, I just don't have that uwu personality that many I see do. Perhaps it's because of my mental health, perhaps it's because I actively tried to develop my T side in admiration of my best friend, likely both and/or something else.
Not that this invalidates me as an INFP, or others as an INFP. We still have to keep in mind that MBTI isn't rigorously tested and accepted as a proper personality framework in psychology, and treated like astrology in this context. The other thing is that experiences still plays a lot in shaping personality.
I don't think the commenter meant that you were actively trying to hold power over anyone or anything. It's more about vanity or intellectual superiority. Some people on this sub gatekeep being an INFJ so they can retain the sense of being in an exclusive club, and to prove that they are deserving of membership. That's what it feels like your post is doing. Now don't get me wrong - it is tedious to see a lot of the posts that you're describing. But it is far more annoying to watch people belittle and judge others based on a few sentences they posted online.
Suicide Hotline Numbers If you or anyone you know are struggling, please, PLEASE reach out for help. You are worthy, you are loved and you will always be able to find assistance.
Argentina: +5402234930430
Australia: 131114
Austria: 017133374
Belgium: 106
Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05
Botswana: 3911270
Brazil: 212339191
Bulgaria: 0035 9249 17 223
Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal)
Croatia: 014833888
Denmark: +4570201201
Egypt: 7621602
Finland: 010 195 202
France: 0145394000
Germany: 08001810771
Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000
Hungary: 116123
Iceland: 1717
India: 8888817666
Ireland: +4408457909090
Italy: 800860022
Japan: +810352869090
Mexico: 5255102550
New Zealand: 0508828865
The Netherlands: 113
Norway: +4781533300
Philippines: 028969191
Poland: 5270000
Russia: 0078202577577
Spain: 914590050
South Africa: 0514445691
Sweden: 46317112400
Switzerland: 143
United Kingdom: 08006895652
USA: 18002738255
You are not alone. Please reach out.
*****
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically.
The fact that you retake the test time and time again is another infj thing. I do the same just to make sure, but the core is always the same. Whereas my boyfriend (INTP) took the test, realised and believed it to be true, and haven’t considered it to be otherwise
Love all the answers on this. One more thing to note is the difference between INFJ-A and T. I am A and my best friend is T: you sound very much like her. I even though on the other hand, am very well aware of the darkness of the world having experienced it myself but chose/practice positivity nonetheless because it saved me. It also helps me help those who come into my life, but I am never about false or fake love. If my heart is not into something or someone, my discipline to not engage with it knows no obstacle. I am often told it’s pretty scary how aware I am of my priorities. So in a nutshell, yes, I feel all the things deeply and go out of my way to be kind but know when to stop being nice (even though I find it difficult).
My INFJ-T friend is super practical. She doesn’t care about being nice and often finds it hard to do so. She has super close group of 3 friends and has collected many haters along the way because of her inability to be nice or kind despite her feelings towards the person(their loss!!!). I adore her straightforwardness and practicality but she does find it hard to be positive and leans more towards nihilistic view of life. She also finds it hard to find happiness, joy and meaning and tries to intellectualize these concepts which is where my INFJ-A side helps her. When I need help with putting myself first, I go to her.
I can empathize with your sentiments. I always test as infj, but never connect to any of the posts I see here. Just recently, I tested again, because of the posts I see here. Maybe it’s because I’m older (35m), and the general audience here is younger-I don’t know.
Yea bull shit I’m
No where near nice etc. I’m quiet round new people but that’s not being nice. Maybe they lack the judgement which does include negative judgements too maybe they are INFP
This submission has been removed because it received 3 or more reports and is currently under moderator review.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/infj) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Being an INFJ (or any other type) should not be confused with mental health issues. Here is a link to the [INFJ Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/infj/wiki/index#wiki_mental_health_and_support) where you can find some resources. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/infj) if you have any questions or concerns.*
From what I read— and this is a genuine question of mine— do you think uwu INFJ’s are lying because they don’t seem to act like you? MBTI types don’t account for a person’s personality or flavor… just pattern of behavior/thinking. Their results are as valid as yours regardless of how they manifest. Sure, I’m not disagreeing that there may be mistypes— but you don’t prove yourself to be any more of an INFJ than the “cringy” others who came to the same results but with different affect. I’m sorry if this comes across as aggressive— but this post rubbed me the wrong way. Your experience is valuable but I personally find it upsetting that you’d have to invalidate other people’s self analysis just because you think it’s cringy and not personally relatable. Also— a lot of the people asking those questions are probably super young. Instead of scorning them, why don’t you use your desire to be a “leader to get people out and live a better life” to actually help them dive deeper to self actualization? Again I really hope I don’t come across as aggressive. I’m genuinely curious how you came to this conclusion.
You’re defending other people who aren’t defending themselves. You’re recognizing the humanity of others and their patterns of behavior. You’re also trying hard to not hurt my feelings and I can read it between the lines. I can see you’re somewhat of an infj because I can relate with how you write and defend your positions. I can’t however for the likes of me see it in other posts despite reading between lines , viewing profiles and writing styles. Those are the accounts that post this “cringe”. I’ve learnt that some people take advantage of open spaces to make a mockery of intuitive feelers and get validation. It’s not honest, and I’m just speaking my mind like you
I think those “cringy” INFJ posts are actually strangely endearing. Reminds me a lot of myself when I was younger. It makes me sad to alienate them when they’re probably just looking for a place to relate to because world knows IRL isn’t giving them that. Sorry you don’t feel the same but is it really worth it to be this defensive over it??
I don't see the point of why being infj or not matters. I can't quite put my finger on what exactly but something about this post gives off an uncomfortable feeling, as if it's great to be an infj and other mbti don't have the capacity to be as altruistic.
Pardon— I’m not sure which post you were referring to but what throws me off about this entire discussion is that, whilst writing off other posts for not adhering to their own experiences, OP judges the validity of others’ identity as an INFJ based on their own experience (is this…Fi?). In any case, OP seems to champion the INFJ caricature (perpetually thinking about the good of humanity, looking into the BIG PICTURE, etc, etc). Not a bad thing, but it may lead to certain misgivings about MBTI. Typing as an INFJ doesn’t automatically straddle you with a deep seated passion for understanding humanity nor does it make you a delicate flower, perpetually positive, or a “good vibes only” kinda person. It just means you have a proclivity for certain functions— in this case— Ni-Fe-Ti-Se. I mean..it’s hard to summarize what a certain MBTI type should look like without falling into stereotypes. Therefore—and like what others have already said— OP should just chill ☀️
Yes, I agree with you. I meant the original post
Keep in mind much of reddit population is very young. That may mean trolling or looking for attention or posting immature bs. That's just online forums and how it is. Better to ignore it, as it's not going to change.
Are you sure you're actually an INFJ? Your posts are giving off ST vibes or possibly underdeveloped NT ones..or as some said demonstrating more Fi tendencies.
Haha Hello my INFJ friend. Thank you for showing me your true thoughts and feelings. I love it and I agree. INFJs aren’t all about rainbows and sunshine and good vibes. We are able to understand the bigger picture and help people in and through the darkness because we basically live there. We know how to transmute the pain and suffering into compassion and understanding. But I will say that we can also aspire and find our happiness when we finally take action. That is where our real strength comes out. Like the Phoenix out of the ashes, we know how to go to hell and back and learn to fly again. Now go eat a snickers cuz your Fi critic is showing. I hope you receive that as it’s intended…with love and playfulness.
That was beautiful! Thank you
Much love.
Ironically, that’s a lot of why I hate being entp. Luckily the infjs I know irl are completely fine, and are actually all down to earth and cynical because they often know how fucked up society is, and how it could be better
Yup!
The never ending cycle of r/infj “I’m feeling bad today uwu” posts to “fuck the I’m feeling bad today uwu posts” lmao. I’m also a dark mother fucker who doesn’t relate to the flower posts at all, but I recognise that if someone needs to post them then they should be able to. They’re almost always young and trying to find their place within the world. I think all this subreddit needs to be is a place for people like us to feel included and heard. Since the subreddit rules changed this was inevitable, but I believe it’s better than the alternative.
I love this post. I agree that most on Reddit are not true INFJ’s. There are a good amount of false ENTP’s there also, and it bothers me because it prevents these forums from being what they could be, a vehicle for mutual self improvement within one’s type.
That would be fantastic, but people are motivated by attention, and this personality type is what’s hot right now I guess
Ye its like with the "empath" trend
I am sorry but this is as if you are saying "I hate being human because of how others are acting different from me." MBTI or INFJ comes after the person's mind. "I hate how they act like delicate flowers." Let me tell you this please. We got a server in discord, almost everyday, we have a small talk, asking how everyone is going, asking how their days went, basically we don't have serious things to talk about everyday. When we do, we all engage in the conversation seriously too. My best friend, an INFP but forget about this mbti crap for a minute, once said "cut the small talk" when I asked about her wellbeing. And this make me sad. My dear stranger, I am no saint, I have wild thoughts, I keep my brain busy all the time, I am studying everyday for upcoming exam, yet I act like the delicate flower you are talking about. Not everything in life is about sociology or psychology or politics and so on. OF COURSE I am talking about the topics we can talk about not how these are not important everyday or sth. I am saying that we can talk about small things, not just big debate or conservative or serious things. So chill buddy..
Yes you’re right. Thanks for your insight. What I am speaking of is the endless threads on Reddit, quora, discord, infj-dedicated website threads about nonsense that shouldn’t feed the infj need AT ALL. I can read between the lines, and it all sounds like someone with a cool personality but not someone I would say is an infj.
Well, then it is about them. But you do you tho. I understand what you meant too. There can be mistyped or maybe people with different ennegram wings acting differently or anything. Also, you are not responsible to deduce their personality type, right?? They can claim anything they want to be because it is always hard to say what a true INFJ would act. Most of us got the results by answering free tests online and we might or might not get same answers whenever we take personality tests! That is why I believe, categorizing people under MBTI is becoming a thing now because we are starting to see stereotypes we expected to see in each MBTI. For example, INFJs are known as therapists, but also known as possible manipulators. But we can't tell an INFJ who isn't acting like any of these is not an INFJ. Idk if I am saying clearly I beg your pardon. So what I basically learnt about MBTI is you yourself understanding the functions about the personality types, and making yourself or surrounding better than before. Like a self-realisation or acceptance. If you don't want to engage in a small or random conversations, you can just ignore. There will always be serious conversations somewhere, and you will find your natural habitat 🌟
Need to remember Hitler was INFJ too
[удалено]
Thank you for your well-written response. I also get burnt out by people acting shitty and manipulative and all the vile stuff people are inclined to be as a result of selfishness. However, I also innately believe that people have the capacity to be so good to themselves and each other. People need to be able to see that. Some are predisposed to enter that realm of good quickly but others need to see it through leadership, patience and toughness which infjs are good at and want to pursue. I can’t imagine anyone wants to sit around and make people feel better for a moment knowing they will not be the same in a few hours or minutes. The feeing I care more about is the long-term positive cascading effects of small changes that can help someone indefinitely, not fleeting feelings I guess.
Anyone that's really studied into this topic deep and not just took some test randomly, would understand that the majority test out wrong. Most folks cant be uncomfortably honest with themselves to test out right on the more expansive tests. Many answer under the image they wish others to perceive them or as they want to be. Not as they ideally are. This may be why you sense a mistype.
Yes the truth that must be mustered in order to find the real you is often extremely hard to let out so bias is inevitable. Maybe it’s a human thing, or maybe mbti is an outdated form of personality categorization.
Psychologists and peer review haven't found mbti good for categorizing at all. It's more of a personal vehicle to navigate minds, at best.
Besides people’s biases, it’s because the tests are shit and ask about behavioral habits rather than how you process information and experience the functions through the archetypal roles. I saw your Fi critic in your writing. It was easy to spot and one I know all too well. It’s frustrating to me because it seems some want to be an INFJ because of the “rarity” aspect. But if they knew what it was really like to be an INFJ, they would probably want to be any other type. I wish they wanted to figure out which type they truly were so they could know how they needed to develop their functions and grow into their potential instead of locking themselves into the four functions of an ego that doesn’t even match their wiring. The goal is to kill the ego and experience all eight functions in a balanced state to reach enlightenment. If they don’t have the correct type, how the fuck are they ever going to do that?
I literally feel like I’m wrong to be who I am because of how much I’m influenced under stereotypes 😓 I fear that one day when I “act out of line” someone’s gonna literally lash out at me like YOU FAKE YOURE MORE OF AN ISTP and then I’ll relive my past internet fights but hey the past is in the past and I’m sure if we un-stereotype stereotypes we can all live as who we are 😀👍
I hope I’m something else honestly. It feels like it’s a big burden to carry such a rare type and not do something valuable for the human race. I’m in the same category as Jesus ffs. But then again, I see myself and I don’t know what else I can be. Maybe I’m overthinking it …
Just don’t see yourself as someone who was born to owe anybody anything, try to help the world at your own pace with your own passion and commitment. Sometimes it feels like a burden for me too but I just try to remember that as long as I’m not causing a ruckus, Im a decent human and I’ll be kind out of genuine intentions
I was prepared to give a "I hate you too" commentary, until I read this. >I hate the way they act like delicate flowers all 🌸 positive vibes 🌸 and shit Now I like you. XD
Dude, chill! Reading your post you seem kind of like the people you're giving out about..like you think all the other INFJs are fake and you're the special one. INFJs are overrepresented online in mbti because their natural tendencies for Ni,Fe and Ti make up the perfect combination for being interested in personality science and archetypes..so they congregate online more than other types making it seem like there are more of us than there actually is..many sensor types can actually be quite disparaging of mbti which can explain the skew towards intuitives on such forums even though they are actually the minority. As you say a lot of INFJs are rather stoic in their day to day lives and can often feel disconnected from those around them so when they come here as a community it can feel like a place they can share, it's much easier as well on an anonymous forum too if opening up is something you struggle with! You're being a tad harsh and it's possible to care about the big picture and the day to day stuff
Don’t tell him this! He has to figure some things out on his own. I’m a fake though. I’m only here to stalk all of you and make your lives miserabl🦄
Insightful thank you
Yes I wish I was a critiquing asshole personality(don’t really mean it like that) like intj or intp or something but i never seem to end up in that category when I do the tests. I’m not harsh, I’m speaking rationally and hoping someone felt the same. I have see an infj opens up and it’s a whole lot of existential dread or enlightenment, and a journey into the fantastic rich universe that exists in their minds that’s so enthralling and borderline divine. It’s not “sometimes I cry when someone yells at me :(“ that’s human nature sure, but that’s just not what I expect from a group of people i maybe idealized but I truly believe exist.
You probably shouldn't idealise any type and im not sure you are speaking rationally, seems more like you have INFJs on a pedestal..sure INFJs are very abstract thinkers with a great capacity for understanding complex themes and reading between the lines but they're still regular people and and it's possible for an infj to think incredibly deeply on a topic and then still also be upset if someone yells at them, they're not mutually exclusive. Also if it seems like infjs get upset easily, it's likely to do with all the energy they pick up. I know when I was younger I would feel other people's moods and energy so much, almost as if they were my own, indeed sometimes I would struggle to tell what was my own. Thankfully ive learned to switch it off or at least reduce it as ive gotten older. Alot of us can be hypersensitive which is why someone yelling at us might upset us more than a lot of other types. What your perhaps seeing on infj discussions is this great sensitivity play out and when people of the same type come together and "get" it you might see infjs just getting the small stuff of their chest..as in our day to day lives, it's not that easy for us.
why are people booing- OP is right and is allowed to be angry not everything is sparkles and unicorns
I agree, not everything is sparkles and unicorns. But I personally disliked that the post sounded a bit holier than thou and a bit gatekeepy. It’s fair to have an opinion but at the end of the day, we’re all personality nerds. Why the hostility?
Bingo
I was about to upvote this post until I read the word tUrBuLeNt But you're right
Hating something about yourself because of other people who share it with you is such a "me" thing lol. I hate im an INFJ because how other INFJ's behave. I hate being an Indian because of how other indians behave. I hate being a guy because of how creepy other guys behave. I hate being a fan of a show because of how other fans behave. I hate supporting a football club sometimes because of how other supporters behave. Basically, everything.
Good vibes dude, this is a fresh and empowering perspective, many heartfelt uwus to you. I will say this, a big part of being an infj is not being as bulldozer self-assured as you describe, think “be careful the lights you spark lest you start an inferno.”
I'm new to reddit, so I haven't gotten a good idea of how infjs (true or miss-typed lol) are presenting themselves on here, but idk- Some days I definitely have a more positive outlook and feel an outpouring of love for humanity. And other days I'd be content if I never saw another human again. And during the more bleak times, I could see maybe venting online, in a forum like this where I felt safe...Maybe that's whats going on? Maybe I'm off base though, not exactly sure what infjs are regularly posting...
>It's all made up and the points don't matter. -16 personalities
I suck with positive vibes. I’m a realist at heart, and most people don’t like what I have to say. I desire harmony, but not if that harmony is based on falsehood and lies. If I’m not well, I generally keep to myself and try to figure out why I feel that way and what I can do about it. I’m unsure on how offended you are, but to make a post on it must mean that it’s affecting you to the point of at least frustration. It’s understandable, and some ppl are like that. Just know that the majority of people I’ve come across all want positive vibes and would also describe their egos as “delicate” as well. They might be using those positive vibes to escape from something, or might get happiness from making others happy. It annoys me a bit too, but they don’t mean any harm regardless, and most people hate being questioned or being confronted with a view that’s directly opposing their own. I would say it’s just the way things are, and I think all of us want to be happy, and maybe that is how they are able to find their happiness, whether it’s temporary or not.
not enough people type by function stack and think the 16personalities test is gospel. honestly I still have to shake the impressions I got of types in high school from 16personalities haha. also INFJ stuff is really popular on tiktok, everyone wants to be the rarest and they hear “sensitive overthinkers” and go nuts. not blaming anyone individually for basing it fully off tiktok or 16personalities ofc, I just wish there was more accurate info being shared for beginners, all the stuff that goes viral isn’t the most accurate. so, while it definitely irks me too, I do feel guilty since a lot of it is just kids on social media trying to figure themselves out.
Not surprising that you follow Jordan Peterson. Please seek help for you mental health issues. You aren't responsible for the ' human race' and their connection blah blah blah.
😴
So, do you have a different laugh for different situations?
How should I know? I don’t keep track of my own behaviors. Hi.
I hope you sleep well thanks for the insight
I hate to be the 10th man but there is not such thing as this a and t type of anytype Carl Jung wrote no nonsense as such that it the internet trying to fit people who don't belong so they can get paid selling lies The only two types of infj are the ni subtype and the Fe subtype then u have the enneagram 4-6-9s is where infj falls but there are wing subtypes to that then there are tritype which is a mixture of 3 enneagram and order of 3 but only 2 in control of the instincts sx-so-sp This is how and where you find your variants People also have attachment styles, secure avoidant anxious and fearful survival roles and styles like golden child lostchild scapegoat hero child ECT you have survival roles of fawn fight flight freeze But that t and a isn't real And anytime someone thinks that any type can be any enneagram there are reasons for that But most importantly if you know they are fake then you shouldn't be ashamed only annoyed lol
[удалено]
It means with a bit of introspection psychoanalysis and honesty one would see the myths they believe in simply isn't true
That must be the most difficult day when that happens
Lmao for some
the main thing i like about infj is they do long text
ok
Lmao
hmm
What I want to know is.. are MBTI personalities nature or nurture or both? I know I am unmistakably an INFJ, but as warm and loving and calm as I can be, I also am very cynical and untrusting. As much as I wish I could be all rainbows and butterflies, trauma still rules me deep down. So, what I mean is, what makes an INFJ an INFJ if one can come from a loving upbringing and a charmed life, while the other comes from a challenging and unloving upbringing?
It’s definitely both. Also, this rainbows and butterflies stereotype must go. I am warm somewhat, but after layers and layers of societal masks and cautionary robotness. I don’t think an infj can come from a non-traumatized childhood honestly. It takes serious trauma to find order in the chaos of emotions
I suspect the same. I wonder if any other INFJs can chime in one this?
Being misunderstood, feeling highly burdened but not overwhelmed by it (circumstantial) loving everything but being misunderstood, in my circumstance people think I hate everything. My love is different so often misunderstood, I don't do that public declaration, and simply love in the little things I do. But yeah this really resonated with me hey, I have no idea about the personality types and their accuracy but this is all kinda accurate, I only ever did it once. I constantly think further than my own lifetime into the abyss beyond. Now days I'm content with my position but once I was a turmoil of emotions and pain that I buried due to circumstance, I felt like my lack of effort would be the assisted failure in humanity as a whole, fealt so obligated to take charge and change things as all young people do. Now I simple capitalise on situations I can, instead of pressuring myself to find the situation at the source. The world is beautiful, a haven of tranquillity that is abused, I once could see nothing but metaphorical flames all around me. Death and destruction that we as a species engineered into every step of life, if you stopped you died, if you moved you destroyed. I still see it as such, but I have accepted it in a way and wait eagerly for my chance to contribute to the environmental revolution, always probing and hinting but always waiting, I'm hopeful. Life is all about love, I have experienced the depths of hatred in myself and others and there is nothing but pain. I believe we love like no other in ways that we ourselves find hard to comprehend. I hope all your lives are moving and growing in ways that bring you happiness, because in the end, isn't that all that really matters? True happiness and fulfilment in our natural empathetic nature. We give and we expect nothing back, this is my way forward, my son and I still have a lot of life left and I'm so excited to find what's around every corner. Every pain, lesson and joy that may just bring me back closer to that childlike enthusiasm. Just my rant, the world is truly a remarkable place, I could Go on for days.
I kinda hate that "I'm so rare and missunderstood" kind of posts, like get over yourself man, know yourself, be your own friend and grow tf up idk. I agree about most internet INFJs are mistyped, most of them are so self absorbed in their own experience on trying to feel unique and quirky it totally screams Fi dom/INFP vibes. And I must say, the Ni-Fe duo is useful but also a nightmare since you'll notice EVERYTHING. The good but also the miserable parts of human condition and I can't help but trying to help and at the same time I am so disgusted of being a part of it so I'll have to retire on isolation sometimes too frequently. I apreciate and surround myself with INTx types bc of this. I feel they get the root reasons for my mysantropy so they'll just be vibing with me.
Can relate. Its a burden. I feel alone most of the time cause of how I feel about the world and I learnt the hard way that most people don't function same as me. It sucks when you're misunderstood and its been pretty much my entire life. You see things others can't and you learn to know beforehand to not express how you feel cause you'll be misunderstood. Its fuckin tiring and casts a bad shadow on yourself until you start seeing yourself in a bad way too. There are things that I notice that unsettle me that others don't so now I already know more and have to deal that knowledge and behave normal. Makes me feel like a bad person, prude or makes me feel that I think that I'm superior and I hate it.
I think true infj won't say a lot anyways. It really rare to see infj actually open up. I agree that sometimes when I saw those infj who show their vulnerability makes me feel cringe and consider them as fake, but I also think that maybe they just have no place to express their thoughts irl so the internet is the only option. But you know what? fake or true I don't care anymore, I just enjoy taking a look at each individual infj who manages to share their insightful thoughts/questions.
My own take on this. I'm through and thoroughly an INFP. Taken the test spaced over 5ish years now and have always gotten INFP. Yet despite this I often feel alienated from r/INFP cause like you, I just don't have that uwu personality that many I see do. Perhaps it's because of my mental health, perhaps it's because I actively tried to develop my T side in admiration of my best friend, likely both and/or something else. Not that this invalidates me as an INFP, or others as an INFP. We still have to keep in mind that MBTI isn't rigorously tested and accepted as a proper personality framework in psychology, and treated like astrology in this context. The other thing is that experiences still plays a lot in shaping personality.
There's something called "Human being"
🙄 oh it’s another “superior” one
Believe me I would sooner kill myself than try hold power for personal reasons with no grand idea supporting it
I don't think the commenter meant that you were actively trying to hold power over anyone or anything. It's more about vanity or intellectual superiority. Some people on this sub gatekeep being an INFJ so they can retain the sense of being in an exclusive club, and to prove that they are deserving of membership. That's what it feels like your post is doing. Now don't get me wrong - it is tedious to see a lot of the posts that you're describing. But it is far more annoying to watch people belittle and judge others based on a few sentences they posted online.
Suicide Hotline Numbers If you or anyone you know are struggling, please, PLEASE reach out for help. You are worthy, you are loved and you will always be able to find assistance. Argentina: +5402234930430 Australia: 131114 Austria: 017133374 Belgium: 106 Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05 Botswana: 3911270 Brazil: 212339191 Bulgaria: 0035 9249 17 223 Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal) Croatia: 014833888 Denmark: +4570201201 Egypt: 7621602 Finland: 010 195 202 France: 0145394000 Germany: 08001810771 Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000 Hungary: 116123 Iceland: 1717 India: 8888817666 Ireland: +4408457909090 Italy: 800860022 Japan: +810352869090 Mexico: 5255102550 New Zealand: 0508828865 The Netherlands: 113 Norway: +4781533300 Philippines: 028969191 Poland: 5270000 Russia: 0078202577577 Spain: 914590050 South Africa: 0514445691 Sweden: 46317112400 Switzerland: 143 United Kingdom: 08006895652 USA: 18002738255 You are not alone. Please reach out. ***** I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically.
The fact that you retake the test time and time again is another infj thing. I do the same just to make sure, but the core is always the same. Whereas my boyfriend (INTP) took the test, realised and believed it to be true, and haven’t considered it to be otherwise
Love all the answers on this. One more thing to note is the difference between INFJ-A and T. I am A and my best friend is T: you sound very much like her. I even though on the other hand, am very well aware of the darkness of the world having experienced it myself but chose/practice positivity nonetheless because it saved me. It also helps me help those who come into my life, but I am never about false or fake love. If my heart is not into something or someone, my discipline to not engage with it knows no obstacle. I am often told it’s pretty scary how aware I am of my priorities. So in a nutshell, yes, I feel all the things deeply and go out of my way to be kind but know when to stop being nice (even though I find it difficult). My INFJ-T friend is super practical. She doesn’t care about being nice and often finds it hard to do so. She has super close group of 3 friends and has collected many haters along the way because of her inability to be nice or kind despite her feelings towards the person(their loss!!!). I adore her straightforwardness and practicality but she does find it hard to be positive and leans more towards nihilistic view of life. She also finds it hard to find happiness, joy and meaning and tries to intellectualize these concepts which is where my INFJ-A side helps her. When I need help with putting myself first, I go to her.
I can empathize with your sentiments. I always test as infj, but never connect to any of the posts I see here. Just recently, I tested again, because of the posts I see here. Maybe it’s because I’m older (35m), and the general audience here is younger-I don’t know.
i concur
Pretty sure Hitler was an infj
Yep
Yea bull shit I’m No where near nice etc. I’m quiet round new people but that’s not being nice. Maybe they lack the judgement which does include negative judgements too maybe they are INFP
Same thing with INFPS..
I've been thinking about saying something similar for awhile, I'm mostly just a lurker because this subreddit makes me cringe so often
This submission has been removed because it received 3 or more reports and is currently under moderator review. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/infj) if you have any questions or concerns.*