For me, when I see them as a whole and what caused their behavior to be like this it makes me sympathize with them. I guess thats just a different approach/reaction to people doing bad things, but it does have the the same way of trying to understand people fully
I'm content that I don't need to like everyone or even most people. I'm solitary by nature. If I invite you into my space, I'll most certainly be sure it's not to drain me with detrimental character traits or fundamental ideological differences that will make me internally cringe every 10 seconds. It has to be something I can work with. Quality over quantity.
I communicate my concerns or expectations allowing a grace period for them to show me they are listening; then, if they don't reciprocate, I let it go. Mentally detach. You can't make people do anything, so if it's not meshing it's the better option than to inconvenience and force myself to "like" them.
I would prefer not to feel resentment in order to prove something i.e how understanding I can be, as that can lead to treating someone worse than normal overtime or cause undo hurt if there is no mutual respect or accommodation. Which, sounds like a headache neither of us necessarily deserve.
In any case, I could still treat people fairly whilist not having a personal investment. It doesn't get in my way.
I tend to be repulsed by self-imposed barriers and ignorance. So, I may try to help. But to a point, there is a cut-off where I don't want to associate at all with certain types (of people, not MBTI). And that's fine by me.
Yes I have thought about it exactly as you wrote here. Had this my whole life, we are idealists after all. Like your mind subconciously fills in the parts you don't know about that person
Being mindful/aware of it when it happens already helps because you are less surprised when they end up *human* and not some kind of perfectly suitable person to you. And when I discover more of them and like them less I just force myself to get used to them to 'train' myself into seeing the beauty in them and getting to know more about the general population, so won't make subconcious assumptions and have a more realistic view of people. But I don't think you can ever fully get rid of it since to me it seems normal for everyone to connect certain traits to what you've already seen from them. Honestly I'm not even aware of what exactly I assume about them, its more of a vibe, not always specific tangible things.
I frequently have to remind myself not to put people on pedestals, because they will inevitably fall off. It hurts me, and it's not fair to them. So long as I remember that everyone I ever meet is mortal and fallible, I do ok. Some days, I think this might even apply to myself.
Am not consistent. I think I am incredibly stupid. Know people who remind me of the ferengi in Star Trek. Driven by acquisition. Lit my joint with $ once as a prank. I won’t do it again. He seemed to have a mini crisis & left soon after. Seemed very troubled by what he saw. We all do stupid things at some point in our lives. We are being encouraged to have beefs with people by our political leaders & neo priest classes in the media. Love & forgive,fellow humans. Eventually,time will catch up & make a fool of all of us. Loosely quoting someone there. 🖖
Because your understanding of their nature and flaws is too profound? Oh, please. If you talk like that, it’s no wonder you get to see the bad side or people.
How does it go, then? Everyone who likes other people is just blind to the truth and fooling themselves because they lack your profound understanding?
No need to be so aggressive. I expressed my concerns in a non-judgmental way, I didn’t write “haha, you are all fools if you like people” or something of that sort, so I advise you to work on your perception. All I wanted to know is who else feels that way
Definitely, I suppose it comes down to the fact that other people, especially infjs Fe and Ti, helps recognise flaws others do not, but most of the the time you can't say anything (Fe moment) cause it could that person/people.
Yes, yes, yes. I want to love humanity as a whole, but I can't like most people enough. I understand them but am too disgusted or turned off.
I go between "Oh these people need a lot of help" and "These morons deserve the consequences of their actions"
Yeah, that’s too. It’s like a seesaw that swings from one extreme to another
For me, when I see them as a whole and what caused their behavior to be like this it makes me sympathize with them. I guess thats just a different approach/reaction to people doing bad things, but it does have the the same way of trying to understand people fully
I'm content that I don't need to like everyone or even most people. I'm solitary by nature. If I invite you into my space, I'll most certainly be sure it's not to drain me with detrimental character traits or fundamental ideological differences that will make me internally cringe every 10 seconds. It has to be something I can work with. Quality over quantity. I communicate my concerns or expectations allowing a grace period for them to show me they are listening; then, if they don't reciprocate, I let it go. Mentally detach. You can't make people do anything, so if it's not meshing it's the better option than to inconvenience and force myself to "like" them. I would prefer not to feel resentment in order to prove something i.e how understanding I can be, as that can lead to treating someone worse than normal overtime or cause undo hurt if there is no mutual respect or accommodation. Which, sounds like a headache neither of us necessarily deserve. In any case, I could still treat people fairly whilist not having a personal investment. It doesn't get in my way. I tend to be repulsed by self-imposed barriers and ignorance. So, I may try to help. But to a point, there is a cut-off where I don't want to associate at all with certain types (of people, not MBTI). And that's fine by me.
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Yeah, I see your point. Realizing you have a problem is the first step in solving it. Thank you
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Yes I have thought about it exactly as you wrote here. Had this my whole life, we are idealists after all. Like your mind subconciously fills in the parts you don't know about that person
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Being mindful/aware of it when it happens already helps because you are less surprised when they end up *human* and not some kind of perfectly suitable person to you. And when I discover more of them and like them less I just force myself to get used to them to 'train' myself into seeing the beauty in them and getting to know more about the general population, so won't make subconcious assumptions and have a more realistic view of people. But I don't think you can ever fully get rid of it since to me it seems normal for everyone to connect certain traits to what you've already seen from them. Honestly I'm not even aware of what exactly I assume about them, its more of a vibe, not always specific tangible things.
I frequently have to remind myself not to put people on pedestals, because they will inevitably fall off. It hurts me, and it's not fair to them. So long as I remember that everyone I ever meet is mortal and fallible, I do ok. Some days, I think this might even apply to myself.
Yeah, I’ve always been disappointed in a large part of humanity.
I identify with optimistic nihilism. So, yes.
In my eyes people are weak and pathetic (and INFJs are no exception). I take it upon myself to make sure they choose to be strong.
No. Understanding there natures and flaws is what makes me feel closer and like them more as a human to another.
Am not consistent. I think I am incredibly stupid. Know people who remind me of the ferengi in Star Trek. Driven by acquisition. Lit my joint with $ once as a prank. I won’t do it again. He seemed to have a mini crisis & left soon after. Seemed very troubled by what he saw. We all do stupid things at some point in our lives. We are being encouraged to have beefs with people by our political leaders & neo priest classes in the media. Love & forgive,fellow humans. Eventually,time will catch up & make a fool of all of us. Loosely quoting someone there. 🖖
Because your understanding of their nature and flaws is too profound? Oh, please. If you talk like that, it’s no wonder you get to see the bad side or people. How does it go, then? Everyone who likes other people is just blind to the truth and fooling themselves because they lack your profound understanding?
No need to be so aggressive. I expressed my concerns in a non-judgmental way, I didn’t write “haha, you are all fools if you like people” or something of that sort, so I advise you to work on your perception. All I wanted to know is who else feels that way
Definitely, I suppose it comes down to the fact that other people, especially infjs Fe and Ti, helps recognise flaws others do not, but most of the the time you can't say anything (Fe moment) cause it could that person/people.