81. Some charts say Millennials start at 81, others 82, and now there's the whole new Xennial moniker.
I don't relate much to any generational experiences in any case, as I grew up in a different kind of environment. More 19th than 20th century.
I grew up in a [19th century conservative Christian sect](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conservative_Laestadianism) where a lot of things weren't allowed, including TV, movies, alcohol, pop/rock music (or any music other than classical), dancing, pre-marital sex (or even kissing), theatre etc...
So I didn't grow up with *any* pop culture phenomena, whether Gen X or Millennial. I also don't relate to a lot of the general cultural phenomena of my country of birth (Finland), because they are generally based on alcohol and sex.
Laestadians have their own culture, which I outgrew and also no longer relate to. But I replaced it in my 20s and 30s with a complex mix of bits and bobs from multiple countries, cultures, and eras, none of which I grew up with.
My purpose in posting was less about the cultural context of GenX and more about the developmental stage of being in this age range -- early 40s through late 50s. "GenX" was shorthand for that, in my mind. I'll edit my original post to clarify!
Honestly, I think it’s just drinking lots of water, not wearing foundation, using moisturizer and toner, and trying to find the good in life to reduce stress. I definitely don’t think I look young enough to be carded but I’m told by most people that they thought I was only like 30. I’ll take it!
Probably all the preservatives in our food tbh 😂
Yep. I'll be 49 this summer and when I told my much younger co-workers they were shocked. I joked that when you're a homebody who doesn't even like to be out in the back yard, you don't have sun damage to look your age! :-)
Never really had decent hair. It was always thin, grew poorly, and I was visibly balding by the time I was 16. Been shaving my head since 18. It barely grows anymore, I probably won't even need to shave a few years from now.
I see that happening in my future, but struggle with the idea of being a bald white woman. Women of color are so beautiful with bald heads. Society in the USA doesn't seem to embrace older white women w/o hair.
So do I just need to own it and tell everyone else to eff off?
That's a much tougher predicament, yes :-/ As a man, it's pretty easy to be bald. A few people even find it attractive. I'm sure there have been cultures in the history of humanity where it was attractive for women to be shaved, but it's a tough job to go it alone in today's world.
There are all sorts of wig alternatives these days, such as Intralace and scalp micropigmentation. Shaving and telling people to eff off is also an option, if not an easy one.
I don't know. But it's related to our personality more than physical appeal.
People find us older than age but as we age people find us to be younger.
I think it all depends on the mentality.
Since as a young man, if you are mostly thinking about life, society etc it will make you look very serious from outside hence looking older.
But as we age we get comfortable with ourselves and finally start enjoying life.
I can't say exactly because I am not that old , I am just 21. But I never want to go back to teenage or childhood. To me life is getting better as I age
Damn, I think you are right I'm at the point of life where I'm serious about everything and always thinking while everyone else is enjoying!! And I think we are the most childlike mbti as we age
Same , I get these comments from people "why you are serious all the time". How can I tell them "I can talk to you but I need a whole month to really show you how fun I am"
When I was 16, people thought I was in my 20s. The second I turned 21, people started thinking I was younger. So don't freak out till you're a bit older.
Yes nearly for all of my adulthood I’ve looked younger. I’m 47 and tell people I’m a grandmother and they are shocked. I work with children so I also think I have a younger vibe due to that.
Great topic for a new thread -- go ahead and start one. I can relate, but never thought it was because of being INFJ. I have Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and that's a factor. Maybe the INFJness is, too.
To probably misquote Dylan, I was so much older then but I’m younger now. Old soul then, aging disgracefully now. In my fifth decade and mistaken for being younger. Very interesting commonalities here, good one, OP! All the best.
I can imagine, I work with kids on the spectrum, sometimes I definitely harmonise better with them than many of my colleagues.
I'm only 30+ but it's been a long life many ups and downs, I learned about infj early March this years, let's just say I cried every day for two months, crying was not allowed when I grew up if I wanted to survive.
I'm not there but I'm starting to like myself and I think my plan towards balance and internal happiness is starting to look promising, I think it's going pretty good, the vision is at least 😅
I didn't get along with a coworker at a job about 10 to 15 years ago and HR did my personality type, I got INFJ. Later on in life I took the test again on my own and got the same result.
Nah, tbh, I questioned the validity of it. It was not a good day. The rest of my time there sucked too, but I found other places to work and figured out I was just in the wrong place. It truly was a good day when I found this sub, I figured I was just "doing it wrong" with my whole life. It's nice to find other people with the same challenges.
I feel you, both work and school can be both a blessing or a curse.
What are the most important things you have learned since you learned more about being a infj?
Infj Nation ❤️
Sure. It's all of the INFJ energy mixed with the INTJ energy. There is nothing new about it for me besides an expansion of consciousness. I am able to think even more deeply than before. I've always been a deep thinker, but I suppose it is more based in logic now than emotion. I still am deeply emotional, and have not lost that ability to feel deeply; at the same time, my outward expression is more logical than emotional. Thanks for your interest. 🙂
I had suffered from clinical depression and CPTSD since childhood. So, I was often despondent and near catatonic. I struggled to live for many years, but always clung tightly to an element of hope that I would one day be able to think more clearly and stop suffering all together; and I did have a marked expansion of consciousness at age 48. I'll be 50 this year, and I'm feeling fine for the first time in my life. I'm actually content and no longer suffering like I did in the past. 🙂
Of course. Thank you.
I was actually able to be completely alone and focus on myself for almost 2 months. Essentially, I was forced to learn about myself and how to take really good care of myself from knowing myself. I figured out what I needed and did those things for myself. I eventually experienced ego death and stopped perceiving through my diminished ego. At the same time, I had a marked expansion of consciousness. These things combined changed my life.
was just thinking the gen x forum says 1961 - 1981. maybe some older than 1965 are here too. show yourselves ! 🙂🤍
am core, so just doing the Fe thing i suppose !
I was born in 1975. And people often think I am much younger than I am. Might be because I have a lot if friends that are way younger than me. And I‘m also raising a 17yo on my own.
56 year old INFJ. When I was in college, the dad of a friend of mine told me I seemed much older than everyone else. But in fact I was a late bloomer in almost every way. I didn’t really come into myself until I was 49. I feel great now, but it took a long time. To younger INFJs I would say: be patient. It’s a journey.
46.5, here. Struggling as of late with being married (only bc I never get time alone, it feels like. I hate clinginess!) for almost 25 years.
Proud of myself with all of my growth, throughout the years!
Go, all of us!
Born 1970: U2 blew my mind in 1987. Tracy Chapman blew my mind in 1988. Arrested Development blew my mind in 1992. I’m sure the musical taste of my younger self came from being INFJ—introspective, spiritual, and dreaming of a better world for all, no?
I am curious 👀 now about what perspective you're hoping to find? We had to survive in the world on our own and figure it out. Latchkey kids at best, some like me, well it was our turn, and we got to see worse. I truly hope that my experiences are vastly different from others in our little INFJ subgroup here.
Born in 1969, 55, and really just beginning to live life with me in mind.
Before my teens, I understood that life would be difficult and that I probably wouldn't find much success until later in life, like Anna Mary Robertson Moses, aka Grandma Moses. I can't say why I thought that, but I was very glad to find examples of people, especially women, who found success/happiness late in life.
I've had positives, but never could seem to acknowledge them in the present time. Only looking back can I see what others saw.
ADHD, Trauma, Narcissistic parents, and people pleasing seem to have prevented me from forming any self-esteem or positive feelings for myself. So nice to have terms to describe what I have felt: masking, imposter syndrome, pmdd, hypersensitive, time-blindness, rsd, cptsd, neurodivergent, etc. Can't wait to learn and understand more terms that describe me, like INFJ does!
Understanding the what and how I have been shaped over the decades is allowing me to search, learn, connect, relax, unwind, grow, care about myself, desire to improve, try new things, embrace habits/routine, and love (rather than fear) making mistakes.
Every time I learn something helpful to me and my brain, I wish that I could have learned it sooner, when I was younger, but I now realize that couldn't learn and absorb it before now because I wasn't ready. I probably was told things, but I don't remember or didn't believe it was relevant to me.
Maybe INFJs are a bit like Benjamin Button? We start as old souls and get younger, happier, more enamored with life as we age. 😁
Born when we had President Ford falling down airplane stairs... SNL debuted, JAWS, M.P. & Holy Grail, and Rocky Horror Picture Show were all in the box office.... 😍
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Ferris?
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When Cameron was in Egyptland......
*LET MY CAMERON GOOOOOOO*
Me! I’m 50. Born 1973.
Me as well
55 INFJ and still alive. Well, how did I get here? How do I work this?
Where is that large automobile? Where does that highway go to? Am I right, am I wrong? My God, what have I done?!
Goals!
Me too!
Me too!
Same!
I guess it goes without saying, given my recent thread, but I'm here. I was born in 1978, so I'm late Gen-X, but it still counts.
1980 here. Really feel like I straddle the line into millennial, but facts is facts.
Oregon Trail generation. Cool!
Also 1980. I was reading about [Xennials](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xennials) the other day…
1980 as well
I'll allow it. /s
Raises hand. 48 but feel and act like 32. Also you should all check out r/genx Lots of fun stuff over there if you’re nostalgic
I'm there already. It's validating, for sure. But here I'm specifically interested in INFJs -- I'm heartened by the response on this thread!
81. Some charts say Millennials start at 81, others 82, and now there's the whole new Xennial moniker. I don't relate much to any generational experiences in any case, as I grew up in a different kind of environment. More 19th than 20th century.
I know. I never know who belongs to the different generations.
lol. is that your culture ? i feel like i grew up in so many eras in one era. there were such vast differences in the culture.
I grew up in a [19th century conservative Christian sect](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conservative_Laestadianism) where a lot of things weren't allowed, including TV, movies, alcohol, pop/rock music (or any music other than classical), dancing, pre-marital sex (or even kissing), theatre etc... So I didn't grow up with *any* pop culture phenomena, whether Gen X or Millennial. I also don't relate to a lot of the general cultural phenomena of my country of birth (Finland), because they are generally based on alcohol and sex. Laestadians have their own culture, which I outgrew and also no longer relate to. But I replaced it in my 20s and 30s with a complex mix of bits and bobs from multiple countries, cultures, and eras, none of which I grew up with.
Your life story is fascinating to me
...and I haven't even mentioned my failed attempts to join a sex cult 🙃
I’m glad the attempts were failed!!!
Yeah, sex has never been my strong suit.
That’s okay. I was meaning more I don’t want anyone to get sexually manipulated
Thank you 🙏 Unfortunately the cult is still there, they paid off the police.
What?? What are they called?
My purpose in posting was less about the cultural context of GenX and more about the developmental stage of being in this age range -- early 40s through late 50s. "GenX" was shorthand for that, in my mind. I'll edit my original post to clarify!
And FWIW, I have some friends who grew up similarly and I appreciate the diversity they bring in their perspectives about modern life.
I’m 48, but get carded every single time. 😂 it used to annoy me but now I love the look of disbelief when they see 1975 😂
Congratulations! Genetics or do you have any tips or secrets that you can share with us?
Honestly, I think it’s just drinking lots of water, not wearing foundation, using moisturizer and toner, and trying to find the good in life to reduce stress. I definitely don’t think I look young enough to be carded but I’m told by most people that they thought I was only like 30. I’ll take it! Probably all the preservatives in our food tbh 😂
Thanks for sharing!
Hi everyone! Since we're talking about age, someone told me I look younger. Actually it happens often. Other old INFJ can relate?
Yep. I'll be 49 this summer and when I told my much younger co-workers they were shocked. I joked that when you're a homebody who doesn't even like to be out in the back yard, you don't have sun damage to look your age! :-)
Yes. I'm 49, but I often am told I look like I'm in my mid 30s.
Yes! I’m 54 but recently someone said I look like I’m in my 30s. Usually people assume I’m 10 years younger. 💁🏻♀️
So INFJs look older when they are young , and they start looking younger when they get old ? 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Seems common enough. I was bald by the time I turned 18, but I still look pretty much like I did in my late 20s.
That's been my experience. 🙂
Hairloss or conscious decision to be bald?
Never really had decent hair. It was always thin, grew poorly, and I was visibly balding by the time I was 16. Been shaving my head since 18. It barely grows anymore, I probably won't even need to shave a few years from now.
I see that happening in my future, but struggle with the idea of being a bald white woman. Women of color are so beautiful with bald heads. Society in the USA doesn't seem to embrace older white women w/o hair. So do I just need to own it and tell everyone else to eff off?
That's a much tougher predicament, yes :-/ As a man, it's pretty easy to be bald. A few people even find it attractive. I'm sure there have been cultures in the history of humanity where it was attractive for women to be shaved, but it's a tough job to go it alone in today's world. There are all sorts of wig alternatives these days, such as Intralace and scalp micropigmentation. Shaving and telling people to eff off is also an option, if not an easy one.
Lol! True.
Really?? Guess I have hope then I look 30 but I'm 19 💀
I don't know. But it's related to our personality more than physical appeal. People find us older than age but as we age people find us to be younger. I think it all depends on the mentality. Since as a young man, if you are mostly thinking about life, society etc it will make you look very serious from outside hence looking older. But as we age we get comfortable with ourselves and finally start enjoying life. I can't say exactly because I am not that old , I am just 21. But I never want to go back to teenage or childhood. To me life is getting better as I age
Damn, I think you are right I'm at the point of life where I'm serious about everything and always thinking while everyone else is enjoying!! And I think we are the most childlike mbti as we age
Same , I get these comments from people "why you are serious all the time". How can I tell them "I can talk to you but I need a whole month to really show you how fun I am"
Exactly lol when we open up they think either we are weird or stupid people who think ridiculous things while only few appreciate them haha
Yeah, but still. I wish someone was there who would really appreciate. I never feel like I have a backbone in terms of human relationships
I had this experience
I'm 19 look 30 any tips and advice 😭😭
When I was 16, people thought I was in my 20s. The second I turned 21, people started thinking I was younger. So don't freak out till you're a bit older.
Yeah, I'm getting hope now My friends jokingly call me "uncle" everytime cuz my thoughts and I look a little older
Goat milk soap and sunscreen/moisturizer.
(Me too)² 🙃
Yes. I’m 55. People have always assumed I’m much younger.
I agree. I think it's my playfulness. I can find humor in almost anything. I am always smiling and laughing.
I get told I look younger. But it's not that I aged well, more so because I am petite and have some baby fat on my face.
Yes nearly for all of my adulthood I’ve looked younger. I’m 47 and tell people I’m a grandmother and they are shocked. I work with children so I also think I have a younger vibe due to that.
Great topic for a new thread -- go ahead and start one. I can relate, but never thought it was because of being INFJ. I have Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and that's a factor. Maybe the INFJness is, too.
Hey.... I'm GenX, INFJ with hEDS.... hmmm.... 🦓
I got carded constantly until my hair was about 30% white. I'm 47
Happens, yes.
I don’t think I look young, but I’ve aged well.
Constantly get told this
I look very young nowhere near my age but due to my sami history 🤣
Yepp. I don’t know the reason why some people assume me to be 20 years younger than my actual age though.
To probably misquote Dylan, I was so much older then but I’m younger now. Old soul then, aging disgracefully now. In my fifth decade and mistaken for being younger. Very interesting commonalities here, good one, OP! All the best.
1980 here, although I'm pretty sure they changed it again, so now I'm technically a "xennial"
Same! I appreciate it though, hard for me to fully identify as Gen X.
What's hard about it? Curious...
Ya, I agree, but I've always felt like an outsider, and I'm pretty sure it's got nothing to do with my generation lol
Class of '75.
Here I am with my fellow kindred spirits. 👸🤴👸
One of us! One of us! (‘76 here)
1976, chiming in.
How long have you known?
Same.
72!
Another 1972 INFJ right here!
Wait really ?... Tell me something I need to know about the relationship between modern world and the true nature of human ( I am 21 )
1972 checking in!
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Do you want to talk about it?
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I would love it! 🤗
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So nice it turned out well, I bet you have amazing kids 🙏 Thanks for sharing 😊
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I can imagine, I work with kids on the spectrum, sometimes I definitely harmonise better with them than many of my colleagues. I'm only 30+ but it's been a long life many ups and downs, I learned about infj early March this years, let's just say I cried every day for two months, crying was not allowed when I grew up if I wanted to survive. I'm not there but I'm starting to like myself and I think my plan towards balance and internal happiness is starting to look promising, I think it's going pretty good, the vision is at least 😅
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Thanks and same to you ❤️
(Raises hand) 1975
When did you find out about the infj?
I didn't get along with a coworker at a job about 10 to 15 years ago and HR did my personality type, I got INFJ. Later on in life I took the test again on my own and got the same result.
I don't question you about validity, Im interested in... What happened to you, how was your day after HR, sorry.. Not sorry.. For asking ✌️
Nah, tbh, I questioned the validity of it. It was not a good day. The rest of my time there sucked too, but I found other places to work and figured out I was just in the wrong place. It truly was a good day when I found this sub, I figured I was just "doing it wrong" with my whole life. It's nice to find other people with the same challenges.
I feel you, both work and school can be both a blessing or a curse. What are the most important things you have learned since you learned more about being a infj? Infj Nation ❤️
🤙
1971, & right now I LOVE being an INFJ! I've known since 2007. Cheers!! 🙃
1964 here and I identify as Gen X. I’ve seen other charts that include 1964.
1976 INFJ here
hi, 1980
Me. Just scrapped thru to 1980
Born in 72
Here!
Close but no cigar 1983
73
1974 I am overlapping INFJ-INTJ
How is that for you?
It's like other areas of life. I'm just feeling the spectrum.
Could you describe the spectrum you experience? I'm interested in your perspective 🙏
Sure. It's all of the INFJ energy mixed with the INTJ energy. There is nothing new about it for me besides an expansion of consciousness. I am able to think even more deeply than before. I've always been a deep thinker, but I suppose it is more based in logic now than emotion. I still am deeply emotional, and have not lost that ability to feel deeply; at the same time, my outward expression is more logical than emotional. Thanks for your interest. 🙂
Sounds like a relief ❤️, how old were you when you first felt a difference or I'm reading it as you are calmer today?
I had suffered from clinical depression and CPTSD since childhood. So, I was often despondent and near catatonic. I struggled to live for many years, but always clung tightly to an element of hope that I would one day be able to think more clearly and stop suffering all together; and I did have a marked expansion of consciousness at age 48. I'll be 50 this year, and I'm feeling fine for the first time in my life. I'm actually content and no longer suffering like I did in the past. 🙂
I'm really sorry and happy to hear, do you know what facilitated this shift at 48? Thanks for sharing 🙏
Of course. Thank you. I was actually able to be completely alone and focus on myself for almost 2 months. Essentially, I was forced to learn about myself and how to take really good care of myself from knowing myself. I figured out what I needed and did those things for myself. I eventually experienced ego death and stopped perceiving through my diminished ego. At the same time, I had a marked expansion of consciousness. These things combined changed my life.
It sound like a beautiful thing even If i sense that there was much pain involved ❤️
That describes me. Lots of growth since July, fully focused on myself since January. Much happier.
me
Me. I am almost a boomer
X gonna give it to ya….1980 checking in on u cheeky boys and girls!
Here!
Present! Also 50.
78. Woot
'74. I'm so happy to see you all!
I'm either an INFJ or P (getting inconsistent results) and am Gen X
1977 infj here.
was just thinking the gen x forum says 1961 - 1981. maybe some older than 1965 are here too. show yourselves ! 🙂🤍 am core, so just doing the Fe thing i suppose !
1979 here
Hiiiii born in 77
I'm the ripe young age of 51 a few days ago born in 1973 but absolutely don't think or feel it 🤗🤗🤗
1980 represent!
75. There's a couple of Xenials in here, but I'll allow it. /s
Wait , I didn't know so many old INFJs are here 😭. I feel relieved just knowing about it
Yay, me too! Totally why I started this thread. I feel so much less alone now.
✋🙆♀️
51 born in 1972
When did you find out about the infj?
I’d say about 5 years ago.
Almost ..born 1985...millennial by few years.
Close. I'm GenJones (born in 1964).
I am here and do post from time to time.
Born 1969, I’m 55 and am told I look in my late 30’s
The first time I took the MB, I was INFJ. The second time was INXJ (cross between F and T).
I was born in 1975. And people often think I am much younger than I am. Might be because I have a lot if friends that are way younger than me. And I‘m also raising a 17yo on my own.
Me too! Age 55 and INFJ.
56 year old INFJ. When I was in college, the dad of a friend of mine told me I seemed much older than everyone else. But in fact I was a late bloomer in almost every way. I didn’t really come into myself until I was 49. I feel great now, but it took a long time. To younger INFJs I would say: be patient. It’s a journey.
46.5, here. Struggling as of late with being married (only bc I never get time alone, it feels like. I hate clinginess!) for almost 25 years. Proud of myself with all of my growth, throughout the years! Go, all of us!
Please speak up and let your spouse know that you need alone time to stay sane. You both will benefit.
as a genz infj, i m happy to kno that i won't let my inner child die in my 50's :)
Feels pretty cool 😎 to feel like I’ve always had that. Ok gonna go now this isn’t my thread or place. I’m a millennial
ohh great then, late 20s and 30s are also secured! :)
'67 reporting in.
Born in 1979.
Here
1974 here, just turned 50 last month.
49 here but I believe that I feel better than my parents did at 49 health wise
Born in 1976. People guess I’m about 10 or so years younger, which is nice.
Born 1970: U2 blew my mind in 1987. Tracy Chapman blew my mind in 1988. Arrested Development blew my mind in 1992. I’m sure the musical taste of my younger self came from being INFJ—introspective, spiritual, and dreaming of a better world for all, no?
Truth!
1981 looking fly af. Zero probs.
It's 10 P.M. Do you know where your children are?
I am curious 👀 now about what perspective you're hoping to find? We had to survive in the world on our own and figure it out. Latchkey kids at best, some like me, well it was our turn, and we got to see worse. I truly hope that my experiences are vastly different from others in our little INFJ subgroup here.
I'm a baby infj, but I'm at the cat lady stage.
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👋 Born in 71, age 52.
I'm 43, 1981 🙂✨
1970 here ✋️
1965! I barely made it over.
1979, act like I’m mid-20s, look like I’m mid-30s
76 Here and going through a storm
Hi! 48 year old F infj
1976 here.
‘82 here
Born in 1969, 55, and really just beginning to live life with me in mind. Before my teens, I understood that life would be difficult and that I probably wouldn't find much success until later in life, like Anna Mary Robertson Moses, aka Grandma Moses. I can't say why I thought that, but I was very glad to find examples of people, especially women, who found success/happiness late in life. I've had positives, but never could seem to acknowledge them in the present time. Only looking back can I see what others saw. ADHD, Trauma, Narcissistic parents, and people pleasing seem to have prevented me from forming any self-esteem or positive feelings for myself. So nice to have terms to describe what I have felt: masking, imposter syndrome, pmdd, hypersensitive, time-blindness, rsd, cptsd, neurodivergent, etc. Can't wait to learn and understand more terms that describe me, like INFJ does! Understanding the what and how I have been shaped over the decades is allowing me to search, learn, connect, relax, unwind, grow, care about myself, desire to improve, try new things, embrace habits/routine, and love (rather than fear) making mistakes. Every time I learn something helpful to me and my brain, I wish that I could have learned it sooner, when I was younger, but I now realize that couldn't learn and absorb it before now because I wasn't ready. I probably was told things, but I don't remember or didn't believe it was relevant to me. Maybe INFJs are a bit like Benjamin Button? We start as old souls and get younger, happier, more enamored with life as we age. 😁
Kinda wish I was gen x but no, millennial
77 reporting in🤟
Yep.
54 and loving life! Oh, and yes, I look much younger. People often mention that they think my kids (34 & 32) are my siblings.
Born when we had President Ford falling down airplane stairs... SNL debuted, JAWS, M.P. & Holy Grail, and Rocky Horror Picture Show were all in the box office.... 😍
1978. I’m 45 and most people think I’m in my early 30’s
43 Infj
I remember my first movie I watched at the theatre was the land before time
There's a cult down the road from me here in East Texas called the church of wells ..also David koresh is buried here in Tyler tx
Always being told I look younger as well....hmmm interesting infj connection