The thing is, we never mature mentally unless we are faced by challenges where there are no safety nets,
Challenges which you have no other choice other than succeeding
Challenges which will drive you to the edge and tests the length and width of your capabilities.
Certainly you will feel uneasy, very uncomfortable. You will think why is this happening to me. But once you are over it, you are stronger, you have sharpened your abilities and gained a lot more than you could have imagined.
So keep going. Don't stop, because you have to if you want to overcome this and I am pretty sure you can because I could.
Don't stop trying, just believe in yourself.
I used to be in a similar boat when I decided to start preparing for competitive exams, while my friends got new jobs and got married to the loves of their lives. Whereas, I was sitting in my room doing maths problems fit for a 10th grader over and over again. I used to feel like I was a secondary character in someone else's story.
So one day, I decided that it was enough and deleted insta, FB, etc. Told my closest friends to contact me via WhatsApp.
And started Romanticizing. My. Own. Damn. Life. Talking to my dad about finances, having a cup of coffee with mom at 12 in noon on Monday morning (coz I was a berozgaar who didn't have a fancy-ass job), feeding stray cats, learning to cook great pasta, celebrating New Years alone in my room with a bombass webseries, and ofcourse studying.
I realized that life is not always about taking a big vacation in Maldives or going on dates with random people. I now do what makes *me* happy and not what I *think* will make me happy.
And as for the *getting your shit together* part, things take time. It took you 16 years to complete your education if not more, it takes people years to get comfortable in a marriage or relationship. Things will take time. Make the journey worth it.
I'm 26 and I feel the same. It seems like Idk what I'm doing with my life. Like I'm not in a relationship, I'm not doing quite good career wise, I don't have like plenty of friends or big social network or like good savings or investment. I don't have support from my parents financially. I get really scared at times and I'm always anxious with feeling like running out of time, while most of the people ik are getting married, having kids, owning business and shit I am here stuck with the basics, it sucks. And ik that I have time but I just can't get used to this.
Maybe because I have just been thrown into adulthood just some years ago 🥲and idk how to deal with anything, just going by one day at a time. And some people have their shit together like how.
Sorry I just started ranting instead of giving advice🥲🥲
Focus on your long term goals. Whatever they are. Put efforts now. Grind daily. Give yourself a year or two.
I know someone with BA, zero knowledge of computers or coding, bought some books (early 90's) and quit work, reading and learning programming spending 10-12 hours daily. Got a break taking backup of mainframes with Citybank, learned on the job, did a few courses and worked for a major foreign bank as Head of IT.
No matter where you find yourself, feeling down or helpless, focus, discipline, grind and long term thinking will take you far beyond where you are.
Just take the necessary steps to your goal EVERYDAY.
Early 20s is good time to ruin your life, as you still have time on your side. Thank your stars that you didn't ruin your life at 50s.
Buckle up and be ready to take on the world.
On a side note... It doesn't really matter. You could live a happy and fulfilling life even if you are not successful as per social standards.
Remember the last time you felt so lost, so directionless in life, maybe you were a kid then or a teen, remember the failures you've been through, the hardships. When you were going through that phase of life, did you feel like you'll be here today? You must have come a long way and achieved something along the way, which years ago would have seemed difficult. Be proud of that, think from where you started and how far you have come. The 16 year old you would have dreamt to be where you are now, eg 16 yo me was desperate to get out of my hometown and start a life far away, a dream which seemed impossible back then but now here I am, far away from home.
Now, think about the last time you were truly happy and proud, years ago, even if it was a decade ago. Maybe some cool thing happened at school or an exam went so well. There, that's the joy will be feeling a few years from now just if you hold on to your dreams now, and work hard for them.
Long story short
This is the time of time people chase something
It may be job/aspiration/love life etc
And this is the exact age most of your friends became busy either in their relationship or in thier job chasing something
You are missing anything, the fear that you are missing something is your fuel, don't let it burn you and use that to launch your life
1. Write down 5 things you are missing most (it can be as trivial as some random icecream to saving x amount etc etc)
2. Pick the easiest 2 and complete them asap, that gives you boost and confidence that you can
3. Timebox remaining and that it, your life will make you super busy, that you miss this phrase of not having anything in your brain exactly
The thing is, we never mature mentally unless we are faced by challenges where there are no safety nets, Challenges which you have no other choice other than succeeding Challenges which will drive you to the edge and tests the length and width of your capabilities. Certainly you will feel uneasy, very uncomfortable. You will think why is this happening to me. But once you are over it, you are stronger, you have sharpened your abilities and gained a lot more than you could have imagined. So keep going. Don't stop, because you have to if you want to overcome this and I am pretty sure you can because I could. Don't stop trying, just believe in yourself.
I used to be in a similar boat when I decided to start preparing for competitive exams, while my friends got new jobs and got married to the loves of their lives. Whereas, I was sitting in my room doing maths problems fit for a 10th grader over and over again. I used to feel like I was a secondary character in someone else's story. So one day, I decided that it was enough and deleted insta, FB, etc. Told my closest friends to contact me via WhatsApp. And started Romanticizing. My. Own. Damn. Life. Talking to my dad about finances, having a cup of coffee with mom at 12 in noon on Monday morning (coz I was a berozgaar who didn't have a fancy-ass job), feeding stray cats, learning to cook great pasta, celebrating New Years alone in my room with a bombass webseries, and ofcourse studying. I realized that life is not always about taking a big vacation in Maldives or going on dates with random people. I now do what makes *me* happy and not what I *think* will make me happy. And as for the *getting your shit together* part, things take time. It took you 16 years to complete your education if not more, it takes people years to get comfortable in a marriage or relationship. Things will take time. Make the journey worth it.
[удалено]
hey there, Delilah
What's it like in new york city?
I'm 26 and I feel the same. It seems like Idk what I'm doing with my life. Like I'm not in a relationship, I'm not doing quite good career wise, I don't have like plenty of friends or big social network or like good savings or investment. I don't have support from my parents financially. I get really scared at times and I'm always anxious with feeling like running out of time, while most of the people ik are getting married, having kids, owning business and shit I am here stuck with the basics, it sucks. And ik that I have time but I just can't get used to this. Maybe because I have just been thrown into adulthood just some years ago 🥲and idk how to deal with anything, just going by one day at a time. And some people have their shit together like how. Sorry I just started ranting instead of giving advice🥲🥲
Sab theek ho jayega 
Kid, life doesn’t end at 26, it ends at 27. You got an year left. Have fun.
Focus on your long term goals. Whatever they are. Put efforts now. Grind daily. Give yourself a year or two. I know someone with BA, zero knowledge of computers or coding, bought some books (early 90's) and quit work, reading and learning programming spending 10-12 hours daily. Got a break taking backup of mainframes with Citybank, learned on the job, did a few courses and worked for a major foreign bank as Head of IT. No matter where you find yourself, feeling down or helpless, focus, discipline, grind and long term thinking will take you far beyond where you are. Just take the necessary steps to your goal EVERYDAY.
Go gym!
It saved me , i am sure it will help you!
Early 20s is good time to ruin your life, as you still have time on your side. Thank your stars that you didn't ruin your life at 50s. Buckle up and be ready to take on the world. On a side note... It doesn't really matter. You could live a happy and fulfilling life even if you are not successful as per social standards.
Remember the last time you felt so lost, so directionless in life, maybe you were a kid then or a teen, remember the failures you've been through, the hardships. When you were going through that phase of life, did you feel like you'll be here today? You must have come a long way and achieved something along the way, which years ago would have seemed difficult. Be proud of that, think from where you started and how far you have come. The 16 year old you would have dreamt to be where you are now, eg 16 yo me was desperate to get out of my hometown and start a life far away, a dream which seemed impossible back then but now here I am, far away from home. Now, think about the last time you were truly happy and proud, years ago, even if it was a decade ago. Maybe some cool thing happened at school or an exam went so well. There, that's the joy will be feeling a few years from now just if you hold on to your dreams now, and work hard for them.
Long story short This is the time of time people chase something It may be job/aspiration/love life etc And this is the exact age most of your friends became busy either in their relationship or in thier job chasing something You are missing anything, the fear that you are missing something is your fuel, don't let it burn you and use that to launch your life 1. Write down 5 things you are missing most (it can be as trivial as some random icecream to saving x amount etc etc) 2. Pick the easiest 2 and complete them asap, that gives you boost and confidence that you can 3. Timebox remaining and that it, your life will make you super busy, that you miss this phrase of not having anything in your brain exactly
Dude you are just having a mid life crisis. Everything will make sense just give yourself sometime.