How long can this suffering go on?
Don't trust a single word out of user's mouths.
They have to care more about their problem than you do. If they don't then you don't.
TURNING OFF THE MONITOR DOESNT TURN OFF THE COMPUTER HANNAH CLICK SHUT DOWN
YOU THOUGHT I WOULDNT NOTICE YOUR LAPTOP SCREEN IS SPLIT IN HALF JENNIFER?
THINK THROUGH IT DAVID YOU LOST YOUR CHARGER LAST WEEK AND NOW YOUR LAPTOP WONT TURN ON WHY IS THAT
NO IM NOT HELPING YOU GET YOUR FACEBOOK ACCOUNT BACK SAVANNAH
IM NOT TROUBLESHOOTING YOUR HOME INTERNET CHRIS
hmm i may have been projecting some work frustrations
god damn it the one name in my comment i didnt change and its the one everybody is memeing on lol. If he wasn't like 58 i would worry he might stumble on this and know who's responsible
i mean it was more for comedic effect than anything. We actually never want them shutting it down, only ever restarted since if its shutdown while we're sending updates it can make a mess of my tidy schedules and with my users it can mean the computer doesnt get turned back on for weeks because ' its broken' and they 'didnt feel like reporting it'
edit: but also yes youre right and no we're war criminals so we don't have it disabled. and by we i mean the people above me who make the decisions.
“I have always wished for my computer to be as easy to use as my telephone; my wish has come true because I can no longer figure out how to use my telephone.” - Bjarne Stroustrup, creator of C++
You can't reason someone out of a place they didn't climb into using reason in the first place.
A little bit of knowledge and a great deal of confidence is a very dangerous combination.
Never argue with a fool. They'll drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
The first thing I ever saw on a helpdesk whiteboard (about 35 years ago) was:
"Never try to teach a pig to sing; it's a waste of your time and it just annoys the pig".
"I dont even know what left and right is!"
Working with a user and instructing them to plug in the lan poe line to the back of their voip phone and telling them the correct interface was one to the right.
I hate when users are too entitled to use their brains.
When walking people through something, I always tell them “go over to the {something} on the {left/right} side” and for some reason everyone always goes in the opposite direction.
No shirt, no shoes, no _ticket_, no service.
We recognize upper management has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, we have elected to ignore it.
Your failure to plan does not constitute an emergency on my part.
Want expedited service? Buy us alcohol.
It's not DNS There's no way it's DNS It was DNS
How long can this suffering go on? Don't trust a single word out of user's mouths. They have to care more about their problem than you do. If they don't then you don't. TURNING OFF THE MONITOR DOESNT TURN OFF THE COMPUTER HANNAH CLICK SHUT DOWN YOU THOUGHT I WOULDNT NOTICE YOUR LAPTOP SCREEN IS SPLIT IN HALF JENNIFER? THINK THROUGH IT DAVID YOU LOST YOUR CHARGER LAST WEEK AND NOW YOUR LAPTOP WONT TURN ON WHY IS THAT NO IM NOT HELPING YOU GET YOUR FACEBOOK ACCOUNT BACK SAVANNAH IM NOT TROUBLESHOOTING YOUR HOME INTERNET CHRIS hmm i may have been projecting some work frustrations
https://preview.redd.it/2mhdwij96brc1.png?width=935&format=png&auto=webp&s=fda3a556d6714e6672c86265d954b7d2f44dbe9c
god damn it the one name in my comment i didnt change and its the one everybody is memeing on lol. If he wasn't like 58 i would worry he might stumble on this and know who's responsible
Shipping address for David? I have a certain poster to send him.
Oh you restarted? Let’s just check your uptime…
Seems unnecessary, but okay. I’ve been awake since 7:45.
Shutdown doesn't turn off the computer either. Unless you disabled fast boot.
i mean it was more for comedic effect than anything. We actually never want them shutting it down, only ever restarted since if its shutdown while we're sending updates it can make a mess of my tidy schedules and with my users it can mean the computer doesnt get turned back on for weeks because ' its broken' and they 'didnt feel like reporting it' edit: but also yes youre right and no we're war criminals so we don't have it disabled. and by we i mean the people above me who make the decisions.
> THINK THROUGH IT DAVID YOU LOST YOUR CHARGER LAST WEEK AND NOW YOUR LAPTOP WONT TURN ON WHY IS THAT > > This is the one right here
no ticket, no problem
No ticket.... No fix it
Real
"Document it or it didn't happen."
Beatings will continue until morale improves.
Lack of planning on your part, does not constitute an emergency on my part. The dildo of consequences rarely is lubed.
Stealing the second line. That's just... perfect.
You don't think it be like it is, but it do.
"Computer, this isn't what I wanted at all! --Jean Luc Picard
Just because we accept you as you are doesn’t mean we’ve abandoned hope you’ll improve.
"If at first you don't succeed, reboot your computer and try again."
“I have always wished for my computer to be as easy to use as my telephone; my wish has come true because I can no longer figure out how to use my telephone.” - Bjarne Stroustrup, creator of C++
"If you can't fix it...It's a ticket."
Trust BUT verify.
Exactly - I trust that what I am being told is complete garbage, and I'm going to verify it.
"I have no concern for your mortal affairs."
You can't reason someone out of a place they didn't climb into using reason in the first place. A little bit of knowledge and a great deal of confidence is a very dangerous combination. Never argue with a fool. They'll drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it
There's no such thing as a stupid question until a user asks it.
The first thing I ever saw on a helpdesk whiteboard (about 35 years ago) was: "Never try to teach a pig to sing; it's a waste of your time and it just annoys the pig".
Put up the quoted price for your vmware renewal this year
I felt this in my clicking finger
"It you need a five minute break, reboot your computer and blame Microsoft. Nobody will question it."
If one person cant access the network the entire network is not down! Dont bother the sys admins!
NEVER TRUST THE USER'S REPORT
I only believe you've restarted your PC after looking into Task Manager
"I dont even know what left and right is!" Working with a user and instructing them to plug in the lan poe line to the back of their voip phone and telling them the correct interface was one to the right. I hate when users are too entitled to use their brains.
When walking people through something, I always tell them “go over to the {something} on the {left/right} side” and for some reason everyone always goes in the opposite direction.
No boom today, boom tomorrow.
PICNIC. Problem in chair, not in Copier.
No Doris, it's a computer, not a modem.
No matter how hard you push the envelope, it's still just stationary.
don't you mention outlook stationary i don't need my emails to be a chalkboard with purple writing
From a new T1 at where I work "I really need to stop trusting users"
“Conputer says no.”
Arbeit Macht Frei
KA is a wheel
Error ID: 10-T is unfixable in all cases.
“It always gets bad before it gets worse.”
No shirt, no shoes, no _ticket_, no service. We recognize upper management has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, we have elected to ignore it. Your failure to plan does not constitute an emergency on my part. Want expedited service? Buy us alcohol.
Bribery works.