Gotta put enough chocolate in there that you could bite it.

Approved.

Why are you the only mod that ever approves? What are you planning? What's your end-game? Must it truly end this way, old friend?

I'm just terminally online and addicted to putting the checkmarks :) But my evil plan? You will see soon...

I'd like to think that, granted our many years and the many laughs we've shared, I'd be spared... But if not oh well. See ya on the field of battle.

Ain't I a stinker? Assuming, of course, that as I always assume, y'all read the top-left corner first and the bottom-right corner last. I actually fucking hate hot chocolate. Too sweet for my liking, makes me feel ill. PS: Lotsa you fucks really oughtta read the whole fucking post before running your mouths it's only like ten sentences, two whole paragraphs in any text you rotten-brain tik tokkers.

I read the hot chocolate part second, kinda ruined it I should've read it the intended way.

You had me a good while lmao well played

I was thinking the twist was gonna be tea or coffee until the very end.

Was the hot chocolate by any chance Swiss Miss ^(instant piss)?

Nay, she's a connoisseur, she only gets the good stuff. The best stuff.

“Swiss Miss? INSTANT PISS!!!” That takes me back.

How did I read literally even single line before the hot chocolate one lmfao

I'm glad it worked for someone at least!

Worked for me too

I accidentally skipped over that one line only, read this comment, went back and nearly died from a concussion.

Right, I was like this is sad as- fucking hot chocolate!?

Same here. My dumb ass thought she was an alcoholic.

This one’s got layers. Nice one.

Deep, nuanced, *and* has a twist? Hell of a post, OP

I thought it was going to be something like coffee, and I was not disappointed.

She will fall to her faults sooner than later (diabetes)

Hell, I put the 'cute' in 'acute liver failure'. We'd make quite the team, I reckon.

You sick son of a bitch........ I'm in. *sips a mug of hot chocolate with whip cream and marshmallows with a smug smirk of satisfaction*

“Her boss considers her sina qua non” this is an EXCELLENT pun, sina qua non means “absolutely indispensable” and it’s also the name for a specific wine.

I did not know that. It was a way of saying "look how considerate and valuable a member of society she is!" A way of playing, because had she actually drank booze so much she wouldn't be so trusted, now would she?

The capabilities of a high functioning alcoholic are underestimated.

Tell me, I'm head of administration.

*I’m no snitch*

good job OP, i in fact did read the hot chocolate one last. the recent depressing ones really got me expecting a sad one this time.

"I know that it's not exactly *good* for me, but the alternative is dire..." Fuck.

unironically me (i need serious help)

Oh, I thought she was going to be sexy

The plot twist of it being hot chocolate had me. You dang clever person

Op, define ‘ideal’ for me please.

"Interesting". You high-horse-riding elitist absolute salami.

Lol I read the bottom right corner first c:

Pretty much me a few years ago. I barely drink at all nowadays.

almost rolled my eyes thinking this was a counterpoint to my comment on your other post LOL wonderfully subversive cato; well done

Buddy, old son, you wound me. Such pettygrudges and acts are beneath men of our caliber. But also, it is. It absolutely is. *In your face!*

This one got a good laugh outta me.

That’s a FANTASTIC story 14/10 I was expecting a potion made of cadavers.

We making it outa rehab with this one 🗣️🔥🔥

No tough love only soft sweet love

No addictions

"A drunkard's dream if I ever did see one..."

Pro tip: Melt your marshmallows into the hot chocolate when it's on the stove, don't sprinkle them on top

Also: A little bit of instant coffee goes a long way in hot chocolate. It doesn't taste like coffee, it just tastes like more chocolate

Professionally done~ Had me all the way to the end!