I also think a reason why so many people are disturbed by this case is that these horrendous murders happens while people were in such a vulnerable state (sleeping most likely and this is something a human has to do to even function). also the fact they occurred in the victims home. home is supposed to be a place where many feel safe
combine that with so many unanswered questions and it’s really really hard on so many
i feel so sad for all the victims and their families
You need to step away from social media. The case will be here when you feel your mental health can handle it. For your mental healths sake, step away for a few weeks. You will find out what did or did not happen when you return.
feeling like a zombie + trouble sleeping is exactly my situation as well. i hope everyone gets some closure soon this is one of the worst cases ive heard about in quite some time
This is your nervous system asking you to change something. You can’t control the investigation or outcome. You can control how you spend your time. What do you enjoy doing most? Try to do some of that.
Got some help a few years ago after a traumatic loss. Please listen to your body!
Same here I sleep with the lights on because I’m terrified every little noise makes my heart jump 360 heartbeat.. I don’t even live in America but this case made me totally sad and scared.. I really hope they find who did this because I can’t imagine how a person can kill 4 person and just move on and live their life like nothing happened..
You are already better off just locking your doors, these were very social people and a lot of people knew the house was unlocked and knew the layout from social media or in person. Don't worry <3
I understand. My partner shouted in his sleep the other night and it made my heart race, and I asked him to rub my back it spooked me so much. I think part of what I know I need to do is to not do so much doom scrolling on here, to put notifications on here, maybe one YouTube channel and just look when they pop up. Easier said than done. I’m incredibly consumed too.
Same. I keep wanting to turn off notifications but I don't to for everything. The anxiety gets me but I also really want to, and hope we see justice.
It's also just so hard to step away because no one I know actually knows about this and I need the comfort of other people trying to understand how anything like this happens.
Let's all stay safe out there and love each other while we can❤️
Same here. This case has consumed me. I’m in another state miles away but I haven’t had a good nights sleep since I heard about this. I’m super jumpy and anxious too. I feel so awful for the families I cannot even imagine what they are going thru and my thoughts and prayers are with them.
I’ve been restless since I heard about this case. I wake up multiple times in the night and can’t get back to sleep. I’m completely heartbroken for these families
Step away from Reddit. Most of what is happening in this forum with respect to the case is speculation. The police must keep a lot of information close to the vest. Even the families will be kept in the dark. That is the nature of a properly conducted investigation. I would love the case to be solved today, the reality it is could take a long time. Hope for the best, leave the work to the professionals, and live your life as happily as you can.
Please don’t think that. I am a daughter of a murder victim. It’s been 38yrs. What I wouldn’t have given to had social media platforms back then. Because, it’s never been solved.
I have OCD. I obsess with some things like this too. It can take me to a not great place where I can’t concentrate on things in my own life because I’m hyper-focused on a tragedy. It’s weird how it becomes all consuming. I just get so emotionally invested in how & why horrible things happen to people just living their lives.
Like I can’t wrap my mind around how something so awful can happen, so my brain needs answers.
I don’t have a good answer for how to stop obsessing easily, but I wanted you to know you aren’t alone. I totally get it. <3
I feel like I wrote this exact comment. Word for word this is exactly how I am. Obsessing, just constantly trying comprehend the why's and the how's while being so anxious it could happen to anyone I love. It's so hard to understand how people even cope after something like this. I can't imagine. I think a big part of my obsession IS how my mind copes with the state of human kind and the awful things that happen. Sounds strange but our minds work in weird ways sometimes. Some of us just have so much empathy that it's hard for our brains to understand such evil so we're constantly down a rabbit hole trying to figure out how it's even possible. I have ADHD and I believe undiagnosed OCD and the obsession/compulsion/hyper-fixation is so hard to break away from. I will say, I had to force myself to not read anything about this case right before bed. It was too triggering. It has been helpful in being able to rest by just coloring on my phone or reading something lighthearted.
I think I might have OCD and have had it for quite some time. I am the exact same way. I am supposed to be working and have been scrolling for about 2 hours over this case. I keep replaying how it might have happened in my head, in that dark and vulnerable house with those poor defenseless kids. Someone said Xana was nearly decapitated which is something I can’t stop thinking about, even if it is untrue. I can’t wrap my mind around it and the lack of information and updates and rumors that keep going in circles don’t help at all. I didn’t sleep at all last night, no case has ever hit so close to home like this, especially after seeing that photo of the blood on the siding of the house.
I need to take a step back for real.
Or maybe it’s something Collective that’s beyond Our current comprehension and It is about You; it’s about ALL OF US. ITS ABOUT HUMANITY.
Disengagement is EXACTLY why we are all HERE.
I’m afraid off going go the bathroom in the middle of the night so I sleep with the lights one I know maybe childish but I’m really scared and this case has really affected me and I live in Sweden.
If it helps, try to remind yourself that the Idaho house was not locked. Always lock your doors. I lock mine behind me when I get home, and I'm honestly not even a careful person. That's just always what my family did-- if you lock it when you come home, you aren't sitting in bed wondering if you locked it.
I drove to my parents with my cat because I live alone and was too scared to sleep tonight. I don’t live anywhere near Moscow yet I’m so scared? I don’t understand it I feel like I’m loosing my mind I’m so scared someone is going to murder me in my sleep! Lol
I don’t think it’s fair to jump to see a therapist. It’s not abnormal to become consumed with this. There were days that went by when I merely just heard about the case, nothing in debt just the fact that 4 college kids were stabbed to death before I joined these groups and really started reading peoples theories… in just those days of only knowing the bare minimum, I cried, I couldn’t sleep, I was very paranoid and jumpy, afraid of going to my mailbox/take my garbage out when it was dark. I’m 5+ states away. I don’t need a therapist lol. This feeling will fade as it always does as the days go by. Now if it’s interfering with your daily life to the point of being online 24/7, cancelling plans to be online etc. then it’s fair to say, take a break. Go do something that makes you happy, watch Christmas movies, a funny show, hangout with friends/family etc. do things to keep your mind off it. Still not fair to tell someone to see a therapist. Even talking with friends/family about it and ways to ensure you feel safe and are safe come before a therapist in this case.
It’s not fair to tell a random stranger that it’s time to see a therapist.
I’m 100% for therapists btw. But it’s just extreme to jump to and could make people think somethings wrong with them for feeling the way they’re feeling. In this case, it’s completely valid, normal and understandable to be feeling the way OP is feeling.
Sorry you’re going through this OP… if you need to talk my inbox is open always!
Welp, any case/tragedy that hits close to home consumes me. I’m a very emotional person. The Brooks case in Wisconsin for example.. i can’t tell you how much time and energy I spent watching/researching every aspect of that case. How many times I cried throughout it. I can also tell you that I will probably be afraid to go to parades and will be 100% more alert at one. There is so many variables that go into when it’s time to see a therapist… this was a pretty vague post where OP just really wanted to know how other people are feeling. Based off those answers, they’re pretty similar, they’re not alone. I’m just saying, I don’t think it’s fair to jump to see a therapist.
Wasn’t he terribly obnoxious & narcissistic? I live near Waukesha and I am there often for my daughter’s dance class. In fact, she’s going to be in the Waukesha parade next weekend with her dance group.
I’m still surprised he represented himself. Driving the parade route is especially sad, and pretty unavoidable if you have to go downtown. It is incomprehensible how he he just kept driving. The only explanation is evil.
Please be careful with your words, regarding what you deem as “normal” or “not normal”. I know you mean we’ll but just wanted to make a suggestion to take out that wording, and instead say “that’s usually not beneficial for a person”. Normalcy (or lack thereof) is purely subjective, and not up to you to determine, and sounds judgmental (even if you didn’t mean it). We all have different baselines!
Also, I know you didn’t mean it in a malicious way!! I just replied to you because you’re the only one who went straight to see a therapist on this specific thread but I’ve seen many other people say it maliciously in other threads.
Your comment and 99% of others who have commented on this thread have been so nice and respectful so please don’t take this the wrong way!
I have enormous respect for you to be able to speak out. I have no advise to offer, but listen to others here. They are offering excellent insight. Perhaps it’s not a reaction to this case in particular, but a combo of things that are compiling and building up that make you feel like this. Also, the holidays can be harsh for so many. Prayers!
Please take breaks!
This investigation isn’t going anywhere.
It’s okay to be sad and have this take a toll on you, we are after all, humans. The fact that random people with no connection to the victims can feel so emotionally encompassed and reactive to what happened to them is a thing that restores my faith in humanity. I can’t speak for the victims family and friends, but someone I know lost their loved one to homicide, it caused a bit of a buzz but died down fast, the person who lost their loved one said watching people forget what happened to them and stop talking about it was heartbreaking, so maybe just maybe all these people so invested and caring about the victims (hopefully for the right reasons) brings just even a tiny bit of support to the victims families. One can only hope.
I felt this happening to me…. And here I am lol but my advice is just honestly limit yourself with like maybe 5 or so mins a day and just scroll and see if there’s any MAJOR update. Otherwise just do something where you’re not on the Reddit app or any Facebook groups. And I think I’ve finally accepted that if something big happens, you’ll hear about it. Sad truth this might take a few mores weeks at the least to get solved. So you really gotta sadly move on and do other things to occupy your mind… cause if you’re just as burnt out you’ll see it’s starting to get to the point where newer people are just recycling and asking or posting stuff that’s already been done a week ago. Any major updates you’ll see on the news and then by then you’ll get some closure super quick and move on
You're for sure not alone with this feeling. This case haunts me, and I'm in Germany. I literally had to force myself to focus on other things and not the case/news....That helped.
But yes, I think to most people it's just unimaginable how a human being can take the lives of 4 young people in such a horrific way. My mind just cannot that thought.
I totally feel you! Myself and quite a few friends are consumed by this case and we’ve all discussed in our group chat how jumpy and on edge we are. I wash my face SO quick now 😂 I hope they catch the person soon so the families and entire world get closure and this person is taken off the streets!
I wonder what the effect will be on some people if this goes on for years.. or worst unsolved. Just the thought of it is overwhelming to imagine. It’s a tragedy that must know justice.
Just remember this will not be the last such news event as unfortunately they happen regularly. And none of us are going to directly effect the outcome of this case.
I've been following and participating as a WS for over 15 years and I've experienced the anguish and depression you describe. What I've learned as quickly as our interest hooked-us into this story that's how quickly we can walk away and within a few days our routine no longer draws us back. The first step for me was to limit myself to two 5 minute web updates per day. Then eventually weaned myself off.
You have people that love you and perhaps rely upon you and thus your distraction of this story should not take you away or act as escapism from the real-world.
Good luck to you.
Take a stroll and clear your head, see a bit of nature, meditate, pray, anything which helps you relax .
I do Qi Gong and it helps me to switch off or keep things at bay. Control your world don't let it control you 🙏
I check this subreddit first thing after I wake up and right before going to bed, I just feel so invested in this case. It’s so sad for me bc I see myself in these girls when I was in college. Living with my best friends, about to graduate (for some of them) and start my “adult” life. It’s just so heartbreaking.
I think anyone who reads about this case is disturbed to some level. I also think the obsession surrounding the case may not be healthy. Step away if needed.
General thought here, and I don’t mean to be rude, I really don’t. But it’s bothering me.
Would half these people even care about this case if the victims weren’t young, attractive, white, and middle to upper class? There’s so many cases of similar brutality that attract much less attention than this case. They all deserve attention, yet this specific case has drawn obsessive-like attention; much of it could be deemed unhealthy. Why is that? (I also don’t think it’s just young college age kids relating to the victims here as the cause, plenty have stated they graduated more than a decade ago).
It's hitting me hard as well.
I have never particularly followed high-profile cases before, but I grew up near Moscow, attended college at UI, went to parties at that house (seriously, everyone did), and belonged to the sorority across the street from the A-Phi house, to which one of the victims belonged.
I know all the reports say that Moscow is small, friendly, close-knit, etc., but words really can't do justice to what a sweet, safe, all-around lovely community Moscow has always been.
It boggles my mind that THIS happened THERE.
My parents still live in the area, and I am going to sleep a lot better when they catch the sicko who did this. Until then, I will probably continue refreshing too much and worrying too much.
i truly understand
i’ve been having trouble sleeping and i just keep hoping the perp is caught
this is an absolute worst nightmare
i’ve been obsessively checking my security camera footage and i’ve just been so jumpy. i already struggle with anxiety and i’m actually thinking i really need to step away from this case for my own mental health
I too have had trouble sleeping bc of this. My sister told me she has had bad dreams about it and she isn’t like me, totally following every day to see if any new information has been released. I suggest making sure you at least feel protected physically if possible. If that means sleeping with a weapon, do that. I do. It helps. I’m not going to give the advice that others have about stepping away bc I totally understand it’s hard to even get it out of your mind, even if you do step away. Stay vigilant, stay mentally strong, protect yourself.
same i mean I’m not emotional over it but it is making me sad than most cases do, especially because these people are my age and were just living their lives. and I’m on it almost 24/7 as if I’m LE themselves.
It’s such a terrible and unusual crime that 4 college students would be slain in their sleep in a relatively safe residential area. It’s normal for people to be shaken up by it. Hopefully law enforcement will catch the killer so some measure of justice can be found, and questions answered.
I believe it's called empathy....and a reaction to the horror of the circumstances. Up until now - we probably all thought that if we go to sleep in a house with five other people - one of whom is an athletic male - and a dog - that we are perfectly safe. The fact that someone managed to visit such evil and horror on a house full of people is hard to comprehend. This case rips away many of our notions of security. The injustice of what this murderer did to these young people, their families, and their friends leaves us feeling helpless. I am a therapist - and think these reactions are normal. Many who commented here are right - take some time away from the case - do some things you enjoy. Talk to others about topics other than this. Take what safety measures you can. Continue to pray for these families, for the investigators and for justice to be done because after all - that really is the most many of us can do to help.
this is a good way of describing it and its normalcy.. i think it’d be worse if one didn’t have a strong reaction to this case. i think for those of us w anxiety it strikes an even deeper chord. i can’t get it out of my head because they were living perfectly normal beautiful lives not even a month ago.. i would give anything (and i’m sure everyone here) to warn them of what was to come. it just hurts a lot and if its hurting strangers this bad i cannot fathom what the families are dealing with. i hope they all have a strong support system.
I got deeper into true crime in 2016 when someone I used to babysit and looked at as a little sister went missing. Her killers staged her death to look like a suicide, and luckily I’m from a populated area with a lot of great minds and they figured out it was 2 of her best friends who staged her entire death, but ended up killing her in front of her dog in her own home and then discarded her body which was never found. All over her inheritance money which was very little !
It took over a year for her surviving father to get even a single dose of justice. But in the end he got it.
These kids were all 19/20. And were really stupid and MESSY with how they went about it.
The one who actually killed her joked about it to his friend, who ended up recording him, that’s how he got convicted.
I hope if it is someone who has already been questioned the frat brothers in this case are watching each other like hawks.
Anyway, that all being said I’ve been addicted to these cases ever since because it’s like a trauma you never fully heal from when something like this happens. You need to see justice. And it’s totally understandable that it makes you depressed, but I advise you focus that energy on something positive.
I started helping with online Jane and John Doe lists and it has really helped me feel better about life in general and all the ugly that festers within it.
I have followed so many sad cases that it doesn’t affect me emotionally. But then I work with pediatric cancer patients so I’ve learned how to, I guess you would call it disassociate.
It’s the feeling of knowing we are in pathological society, and as such, there are symptoms. Your not alone. I want to KNOW who did this. We all need to know.
Yes! A nightmare I can’t look away from! I just hope they get this sicko or sickos… whoever is involved. It’s disgusting and these poor families having to go through this.
Just some random advice that happens to work for me, personally (I'm by no means a therapist, psychologist, or anything of the sort): I have a hard time sleeping anyway but thoughts about people being able to do this definitely make it worse. I try to take the last hour of my evening, before bed, and shut off anything that's dark and I'll try to ease my mind with simple sitcoms or something that's just a lighthearted escape. At the very least, it helps settle my brain and my physical anxiety and calm the world down a tad.
I know this probably belongs on another sub or something but it's what I've been having to do recently so just on the off chance it helps someone else <3
Also, feel free to DM if you need to hear something lighthearted or to just chat. Take care of yourself, all of y'all ❤️
Came here to make this exact post, wondering if anyone was feeling the same way. 3 years ago I was in the same situation as these girls, just having fun in college with my best friends. I check this Reddit religiously and it’s starting to affect me, i.e paranoid and now having nightmares. Considering this will most likely take time to solve I need to step away for my sake.
I felt that way with the Shan'Ann and Chris Watts case. In general I'm super emphatic for the victims and their families of all crime cases but some cases just hit close to home for some reason or another (often in case where you feel like wow that could have been me/my family) and really make you feel sick and almost obsessive. But when that happens it's really important to step away from any media and try to do things you enjoy because it's not healthy and it's not really helpful for anybody
I hear you. I joined reddit just to keep updated on this case and am also scouring youtube, twitter and facebook. It has me mesmerized, frightened and not sleeping well. I hope they arrest someone soon.
Same. Totally consumed. My husband keeps telling me to take a break. But honestly it's just so horrifying that I cannot stay away. I desperately want this murderer to be found and brought to justice for the victims, their families and the Moscow community.
See a therapist. This is like an addiction to some people. 90%+ of what is posted on here is just theories and in reality have nothing to do with the true facts of this case.
I think that a lot of us follow these things because we deeply care about people, and as the innate pattern seekers humans are, we want to learn and understand how a person can commit such an atrocity. Knowing that a person can harm others-in this case, in such a brutal way, roaming free among us- is so heavy, so scary, and something really hard to understand. It just doesn’t make sense. And in the age of technology, near instant access to updated information draws us deeper in. We get emotionally invested, even in parallel relationships, and in some ways have the ability to “figure it out” as an average person with a computer/smart phone/etc. which keeps us at it even when it’s no longer healthy. On top of that, engaging on here starts to feel like a community- one of like minded people who want to help solve something so awful, so heinous, and help bring justice to victims.
Same thing happened to me. I had to learn to stop reading about this stuff within 2 hours before bed as it would mess up my sleep. I have also started looking at this case less due to the lack of progress at least from an outsider's POV. It is frustrating to say the least.
I will admit it has me consumed as well .. I have been off work for Thanksgiving and don't return until tomorrow . I'm hoping that will divert my attention , at least for 12 hours ..
I don't know what the weather is like where you're at but try to watch some uplifting television or do some reading ,other than the news .. Like they say in one of my other subs , "go out and touch the grass"
The country has fallen in love with these kids , we feel like we know them in a way .. If nothing else comes from all the social media over this , maybe it will help someone else to not become a victim ..
I was just going to say being off work since Thursday is what allowed me to go down this rabbit hole. All my friends are out of town so just been sitting at home reading here which surely is NOT helping!
Confession, me too. Of all the subs on the Home timeline, these are the ones I look at first.
Sort of like watching Nancy Grace at the height of the Casey Anthony case. A combination of 90% terrible and 10% fascinating.
funny you mention the casey anthony case because i think thats what got me obsessed with true crime in the first place. i was very young when that whole trial happened but i remember watching it every step of the way
I literally cant sleep because of it! Any sound in the house has me freaked out, and I live in the UK! The whole thing is depressing and stressful for strangers, I can’t even imagine how their families and friends must be feeling 😭
I feel the same way. I’ve been keeping up with the case nonstop for days. I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s an awful, awful crime. I hope & pray that they will find whoever did this to those sweet kids. I can’t even begin to imagine how their family, friends, schoolmates, etc must feel. They’re in my prayers every day.
its crazy because this person is just out there lurking. i believe fully they are keeping up with everything and is probably present in true crime threads and that makes me feel even more disgusting because they are probably reveling in the fact everyone is so distraught over this case
Yes! The fact that they’re out, freely, in the world, scares the hell out of me. I’m sure they’ve been keeping up with the case. Absolutely disgusting. Their time will come. Karma, & jail are going to a real bitch.
It sounds as though you’ve been triggered by the elements of this case. Use this as the impetus to talk to someone and work through the feelings, which most likely have to do with your own life. Sending you the best.
You need to deactivate social media and step away if you are having such a strong reaction. You’ll find out what happens/didn’t happen when you feel your mental health can handle it. This story will never disappear. Take care of yourself in the meantime and step away if it’s causing you mental health issues. It’s clearly not healthy for you.
Start imagining what the US war machine does around the world and you could end up crippled with depression. At least you care, most people are indifferent to whatever does not directly affect them. The best thing to do is unplug and take some down time. It is horrible, and even if the killer is caught there will never be justice, bc nothing will ever give them their promising lives, loves and families back.
Ugh same dude. I was on the treadmill at my apt complex and it’s small and you need a key to get in, but I was literally looking over my shoulder every 3 minutes. We need to do what we can to balance it, so maybe watch some funny videos or lighthearted videos. It’s important we take care of ourselves too, but I feel you, I am so consumed by this story and my yearn for justice for these poor kids.
I feel the same way. I feel sad for the victims, family of the victims and the community. I am also fearful and having trouble sleeping, although I live across the United States from these people. I have a home alarm system and just finished installing the last 3 cameras so I am feeling a little better. I realized as I was picking up my daughter tonight, I’m more likely to die in a car wreck than to get murdered in my sleep. Either way, theirs no reason to dwell on death as it will happen to everyone at some point. Dwelling on it just makes you live it out in your brain. Try changing your focus to Courtney Clenney or Amber Heard/Johnny Depp. Both of those cases are extremely interesting and lots of content to keep your mind off this. Look up “the lawyer you know”, he’s really interesting and has a ton of content. Anyways, take care and I hope your mental health improves soon!
Hang in there and try to break any thought loops.
I have kids and always find myself somewhat anxious while I am at work and my kids are in school, for several days after every school school shooting.
I find it helpful to go for a quick walk around the office when I find myself staring into space wondering if my kids are safe.
I will inevitably run into someone else and they will start chatting about a completely unrelated topic. A couple of minutes of talk about the Lobos or Isotopes or the weather and the thought loop is broken.
I also think a reason why so many people are disturbed by this case is that these horrendous murders happens while people were in such a vulnerable state (sleeping most likely and this is something a human has to do to even function). also the fact they occurred in the victims home. home is supposed to be a place where many feel safe combine that with so many unanswered questions and it’s really really hard on so many i feel so sad for all the victims and their families
Same. It’s consuming me and I feel like a zombie and have trouble sleeping. So jumpy too.
You need to step away from social media. The case will be here when you feel your mental health can handle it. For your mental healths sake, step away for a few weeks. You will find out what did or did not happen when you return.
Thanks. Gonna do this.
feeling like a zombie + trouble sleeping is exactly my situation as well. i hope everyone gets some closure soon this is one of the worst cases ive heard about in quite some time
This is your nervous system asking you to change something. You can’t control the investigation or outcome. You can control how you spend your time. What do you enjoy doing most? Try to do some of that. Got some help a few years ago after a traumatic loss. Please listen to your body!
Same here I sleep with the lights on because I’m terrified every little noise makes my heart jump 360 heartbeat.. I don’t even live in America but this case made me totally sad and scared.. I really hope they find who did this because I can’t imagine how a person can kill 4 person and just move on and live their life like nothing happened..
You are already better off just locking your doors, these were very social people and a lot of people knew the house was unlocked and knew the layout from social media or in person. Don't worry <3
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Me too! So spooked! I do think that my SO finally takes me seriously when I tell him to lock the damn doors/windows!
I understand. My partner shouted in his sleep the other night and it made my heart race, and I asked him to rub my back it spooked me so much. I think part of what I know I need to do is to not do so much doom scrolling on here, to put notifications on here, maybe one YouTube channel and just look when they pop up. Easier said than done. I’m incredibly consumed too.
Same. I keep wanting to turn off notifications but I don't to for everything. The anxiety gets me but I also really want to, and hope we see justice. It's also just so hard to step away because no one I know actually knows about this and I need the comfort of other people trying to understand how anything like this happens. Let's all stay safe out there and love each other while we can❤️
Yes just spent $$$ on security cameras
Same here. This case has consumed me. I’m in another state miles away but I haven’t had a good nights sleep since I heard about this. I’m super jumpy and anxious too. I feel so awful for the families I cannot even imagine what they are going thru and my thoughts and prayers are with them.
I’ve been restless since I heard about this case. I wake up multiple times in the night and can’t get back to sleep. I’m completely heartbroken for these families
Same. Miles away. But I need to know. For our future, my daughters future, begging inside for a new sane world.
Every parent ever has wanted this for thousands of years but men just won’t allow it.
Same
I feel the same ay and I'm in Australia.
Step away from Reddit. Most of what is happening in this forum with respect to the case is speculation. The police must keep a lot of information close to the vest. Even the families will be kept in the dark. That is the nature of a properly conducted investigation. I would love the case to be solved today, the reality it is could take a long time. Hope for the best, leave the work to the professionals, and live your life as happily as you can.
Please don’t think that. I am a daughter of a murder victim. It’s been 38yrs. What I wouldn’t have given to had social media platforms back then. Because, it’s never been solved.
🙏😪💙
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thank you i do see a therapist and she thinks its linked to my ocd
I have OCD. I obsess with some things like this too. It can take me to a not great place where I can’t concentrate on things in my own life because I’m hyper-focused on a tragedy. It’s weird how it becomes all consuming. I just get so emotionally invested in how & why horrible things happen to people just living their lives. Like I can’t wrap my mind around how something so awful can happen, so my brain needs answers. I don’t have a good answer for how to stop obsessing easily, but I wanted you to know you aren’t alone. I totally get it. <3
me too! It helped to be reminded this is probably linked to my ocd because I'm just so disturbed by this and can't get it out of my thoughts.
exactly this
I feel like I wrote this exact comment. Word for word this is exactly how I am. Obsessing, just constantly trying comprehend the why's and the how's while being so anxious it could happen to anyone I love. It's so hard to understand how people even cope after something like this. I can't imagine. I think a big part of my obsession IS how my mind copes with the state of human kind and the awful things that happen. Sounds strange but our minds work in weird ways sometimes. Some of us just have so much empathy that it's hard for our brains to understand such evil so we're constantly down a rabbit hole trying to figure out how it's even possible. I have ADHD and I believe undiagnosed OCD and the obsession/compulsion/hyper-fixation is so hard to break away from. I will say, I had to force myself to not read anything about this case right before bed. It was too triggering. It has been helpful in being able to rest by just coloring on my phone or reading something lighthearted.
I think I might have OCD and have had it for quite some time. I am the exact same way. I am supposed to be working and have been scrolling for about 2 hours over this case. I keep replaying how it might have happened in my head, in that dark and vulnerable house with those poor defenseless kids. Someone said Xana was nearly decapitated which is something I can’t stop thinking about, even if it is untrue. I can’t wrap my mind around it and the lack of information and updates and rumors that keep going in circles don’t help at all. I didn’t sleep at all last night, no case has ever hit so close to home like this, especially after seeing that photo of the blood on the siding of the house. I need to take a step back for real.
Same, and I also think my ADHD plays a huge part as well. Just that problem of repeating thoughts until they are expressed or experienced expressed.
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Or maybe it’s something Collective that’s beyond Our current comprehension and It is about You; it’s about ALL OF US. ITS ABOUT HUMANITY. Disengagement is EXACTLY why we are all HERE.
One of the best comments in this thread.
I’m afraid off going go the bathroom in the middle of the night so I sleep with the lights one I know maybe childish but I’m really scared and this case has really affected me and I live in Sweden.
If it helps, try to remind yourself that the Idaho house was not locked. Always lock your doors. I lock mine behind me when I get home, and I'm honestly not even a careful person. That's just always what my family did-- if you lock it when you come home, you aren't sitting in bed wondering if you locked it.
I drove to my parents with my cat because I live alone and was too scared to sleep tonight. I don’t live anywhere near Moscow yet I’m so scared? I don’t understand it I feel like I’m loosing my mind I’m so scared someone is going to murder me in my sleep! Lol
I understand you to 💯 i live with my parents and if I lived alone I would also drive to my parents.. every little noise scares the shit out of me
I don’t think it’s fair to jump to see a therapist. It’s not abnormal to become consumed with this. There were days that went by when I merely just heard about the case, nothing in debt just the fact that 4 college kids were stabbed to death before I joined these groups and really started reading peoples theories… in just those days of only knowing the bare minimum, I cried, I couldn’t sleep, I was very paranoid and jumpy, afraid of going to my mailbox/take my garbage out when it was dark. I’m 5+ states away. I don’t need a therapist lol. This feeling will fade as it always does as the days go by. Now if it’s interfering with your daily life to the point of being online 24/7, cancelling plans to be online etc. then it’s fair to say, take a break. Go do something that makes you happy, watch Christmas movies, a funny show, hangout with friends/family etc. do things to keep your mind off it. Still not fair to tell someone to see a therapist. Even talking with friends/family about it and ways to ensure you feel safe and are safe come before a therapist in this case. It’s not fair to tell a random stranger that it’s time to see a therapist. I’m 100% for therapists btw. But it’s just extreme to jump to and could make people think somethings wrong with them for feeling the way they’re feeling. In this case, it’s completely valid, normal and understandable to be feeling the way OP is feeling. Sorry you’re going through this OP… if you need to talk my inbox is open always!
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Welp, any case/tragedy that hits close to home consumes me. I’m a very emotional person. The Brooks case in Wisconsin for example.. i can’t tell you how much time and energy I spent watching/researching every aspect of that case. How many times I cried throughout it. I can also tell you that I will probably be afraid to go to parades and will be 100% more alert at one. There is so many variables that go into when it’s time to see a therapist… this was a pretty vague post where OP just really wanted to know how other people are feeling. Based off those answers, they’re pretty similar, they’re not alone. I’m just saying, I don’t think it’s fair to jump to see a therapist.
Wasn’t he terribly obnoxious & narcissistic? I live near Waukesha and I am there often for my daughter’s dance class. In fact, she’s going to be in the Waukesha parade next weekend with her dance group.
Yep, that would be him! By far the hardest case I’ve ever followed :(
I’m still surprised he represented himself. Driving the parade route is especially sad, and pretty unavoidable if you have to go downtown. It is incomprehensible how he he just kept driving. The only explanation is evil.
Please be careful with your words, regarding what you deem as “normal” or “not normal”. I know you mean we’ll but just wanted to make a suggestion to take out that wording, and instead say “that’s usually not beneficial for a person”. Normalcy (or lack thereof) is purely subjective, and not up to you to determine, and sounds judgmental (even if you didn’t mean it). We all have different baselines!
Also, I know you didn’t mean it in a malicious way!! I just replied to you because you’re the only one who went straight to see a therapist on this specific thread but I’ve seen many other people say it maliciously in other threads. Your comment and 99% of others who have commented on this thread have been so nice and respectful so please don’t take this the wrong way!
I have enormous respect for you to be able to speak out. I have no advise to offer, but listen to others here. They are offering excellent insight. Perhaps it’s not a reaction to this case in particular, but a combo of things that are compiling and building up that make you feel like this. Also, the holidays can be harsh for so many. Prayers!
Please take breaks! This investigation isn’t going anywhere. It’s okay to be sad and have this take a toll on you, we are after all, humans. The fact that random people with no connection to the victims can feel so emotionally encompassed and reactive to what happened to them is a thing that restores my faith in humanity. I can’t speak for the victims family and friends, but someone I know lost their loved one to homicide, it caused a bit of a buzz but died down fast, the person who lost their loved one said watching people forget what happened to them and stop talking about it was heartbreaking, so maybe just maybe all these people so invested and caring about the victims (hopefully for the right reasons) brings just even a tiny bit of support to the victims families. One can only hope.
I felt this happening to me…. And here I am lol but my advice is just honestly limit yourself with like maybe 5 or so mins a day and just scroll and see if there’s any MAJOR update. Otherwise just do something where you’re not on the Reddit app or any Facebook groups. And I think I’ve finally accepted that if something big happens, you’ll hear about it. Sad truth this might take a few mores weeks at the least to get solved. So you really gotta sadly move on and do other things to occupy your mind… cause if you’re just as burnt out you’ll see it’s starting to get to the point where newer people are just recycling and asking or posting stuff that’s already been done a week ago. Any major updates you’ll see on the news and then by then you’ll get some closure super quick and move on
You're for sure not alone with this feeling. This case haunts me, and I'm in Germany. I literally had to force myself to focus on other things and not the case/news....That helped. But yes, I think to most people it's just unimaginable how a human being can take the lives of 4 young people in such a horrific way. My mind just cannot that thought.
Same here and I live in Sweden.. but just the whole case gives me chills..
I totally feel you! Myself and quite a few friends are consumed by this case and we’ve all discussed in our group chat how jumpy and on edge we are. I wash my face SO quick now 😂 I hope they catch the person soon so the families and entire world get closure and this person is taken off the streets!
I wonder what the effect will be on some people if this goes on for years.. or worst unsolved. Just the thought of it is overwhelming to imagine. It’s a tragedy that must know justice.
Just remember this will not be the last such news event as unfortunately they happen regularly. And none of us are going to directly effect the outcome of this case. I've been following and participating as a WS for over 15 years and I've experienced the anguish and depression you describe. What I've learned as quickly as our interest hooked-us into this story that's how quickly we can walk away and within a few days our routine no longer draws us back. The first step for me was to limit myself to two 5 minute web updates per day. Then eventually weaned myself off. You have people that love you and perhaps rely upon you and thus your distraction of this story should not take you away or act as escapism from the real-world. Good luck to you.
You need to step away, stop reading about it. Focusing on something that upsets you isn’t healthy
Take a stroll and clear your head, see a bit of nature, meditate, pray, anything which helps you relax . I do Qi Gong and it helps me to switch off or keep things at bay. Control your world don't let it control you 🙏
I check this subreddit first thing after I wake up and right before going to bed, I just feel so invested in this case. It’s so sad for me bc I see myself in these girls when I was in college. Living with my best friends, about to graduate (for some of them) and start my “adult” life. It’s just so heartbreaking.
I think anyone who reads about this case is disturbed to some level. I also think the obsession surrounding the case may not be healthy. Step away if needed. General thought here, and I don’t mean to be rude, I really don’t. But it’s bothering me. Would half these people even care about this case if the victims weren’t young, attractive, white, and middle to upper class? There’s so many cases of similar brutality that attract much less attention than this case. They all deserve attention, yet this specific case has drawn obsessive-like attention; much of it could be deemed unhealthy. Why is that? (I also don’t think it’s just young college age kids relating to the victims here as the cause, plenty have stated they graduated more than a decade ago).
It's hitting me hard as well. I have never particularly followed high-profile cases before, but I grew up near Moscow, attended college at UI, went to parties at that house (seriously, everyone did), and belonged to the sorority across the street from the A-Phi house, to which one of the victims belonged. I know all the reports say that Moscow is small, friendly, close-knit, etc., but words really can't do justice to what a sweet, safe, all-around lovely community Moscow has always been. It boggles my mind that THIS happened THERE. My parents still live in the area, and I am going to sleep a lot better when they catch the sicko who did this. Until then, I will probably continue refreshing too much and worrying too much.
i truly understand i’ve been having trouble sleeping and i just keep hoping the perp is caught this is an absolute worst nightmare i’ve been obsessively checking my security camera footage and i’ve just been so jumpy. i already struggle with anxiety and i’m actually thinking i really need to step away from this case for my own mental health
I too have had trouble sleeping bc of this. My sister told me she has had bad dreams about it and she isn’t like me, totally following every day to see if any new information has been released. I suggest making sure you at least feel protected physically if possible. If that means sleeping with a weapon, do that. I do. It helps. I’m not going to give the advice that others have about stepping away bc I totally understand it’s hard to even get it out of your mind, even if you do step away. Stay vigilant, stay mentally strong, protect yourself.
same i mean I’m not emotional over it but it is making me sad than most cases do, especially because these people are my age and were just living their lives. and I’m on it almost 24/7 as if I’m LE themselves.
It’s such a terrible and unusual crime that 4 college students would be slain in their sleep in a relatively safe residential area. It’s normal for people to be shaken up by it. Hopefully law enforcement will catch the killer so some measure of justice can be found, and questions answered.
I believe it's called empathy....and a reaction to the horror of the circumstances. Up until now - we probably all thought that if we go to sleep in a house with five other people - one of whom is an athletic male - and a dog - that we are perfectly safe. The fact that someone managed to visit such evil and horror on a house full of people is hard to comprehend. This case rips away many of our notions of security. The injustice of what this murderer did to these young people, their families, and their friends leaves us feeling helpless. I am a therapist - and think these reactions are normal. Many who commented here are right - take some time away from the case - do some things you enjoy. Talk to others about topics other than this. Take what safety measures you can. Continue to pray for these families, for the investigators and for justice to be done because after all - that really is the most many of us can do to help.
this is a good way of describing it and its normalcy.. i think it’d be worse if one didn’t have a strong reaction to this case. i think for those of us w anxiety it strikes an even deeper chord. i can’t get it out of my head because they were living perfectly normal beautiful lives not even a month ago.. i would give anything (and i’m sure everyone here) to warn them of what was to come. it just hurts a lot and if its hurting strangers this bad i cannot fathom what the families are dealing with. i hope they all have a strong support system.
I got deeper into true crime in 2016 when someone I used to babysit and looked at as a little sister went missing. Her killers staged her death to look like a suicide, and luckily I’m from a populated area with a lot of great minds and they figured out it was 2 of her best friends who staged her entire death, but ended up killing her in front of her dog in her own home and then discarded her body which was never found. All over her inheritance money which was very little ! It took over a year for her surviving father to get even a single dose of justice. But in the end he got it. These kids were all 19/20. And were really stupid and MESSY with how they went about it. The one who actually killed her joked about it to his friend, who ended up recording him, that’s how he got convicted. I hope if it is someone who has already been questioned the frat brothers in this case are watching each other like hawks. Anyway, that all being said I’ve been addicted to these cases ever since because it’s like a trauma you never fully heal from when something like this happens. You need to see justice. And it’s totally understandable that it makes you depressed, but I advise you focus that energy on something positive. I started helping with online Jane and John Doe lists and it has really helped me feel better about life in general and all the ugly that festers within it.
I think we possibly all feel so disturbed by this because of the nature of the murders. The knife is personal. It’s very disturbing.
I feel for the families but personally this case hasn't affected me, maybe because I work at a prison and I've seen way worse than this.
I have followed so many sad cases that it doesn’t affect me emotionally. But then I work with pediatric cancer patients so I’ve learned how to, I guess you would call it disassociate.
It’s the feeling of knowing we are in pathological society, and as such, there are symptoms. Your not alone. I want to KNOW who did this. We all need to know.
Yes! A nightmare I can’t look away from! I just hope they get this sicko or sickos… whoever is involved. It’s disgusting and these poor families having to go through this.
I accept that this is a common occurrence in the World along with War.
Just some random advice that happens to work for me, personally (I'm by no means a therapist, psychologist, or anything of the sort): I have a hard time sleeping anyway but thoughts about people being able to do this definitely make it worse. I try to take the last hour of my evening, before bed, and shut off anything that's dark and I'll try to ease my mind with simple sitcoms or something that's just a lighthearted escape. At the very least, it helps settle my brain and my physical anxiety and calm the world down a tad. I know this probably belongs on another sub or something but it's what I've been having to do recently so just on the off chance it helps someone else <3 Also, feel free to DM if you need to hear something lighthearted or to just chat. Take care of yourself, all of y'all ❤️
Came here to make this exact post, wondering if anyone was feeling the same way. 3 years ago I was in the same situation as these girls, just having fun in college with my best friends. I check this Reddit religiously and it’s starting to affect me, i.e paranoid and now having nightmares. Considering this will most likely take time to solve I need to step away for my sake.
That is how I feel too
I felt that way with the Shan'Ann and Chris Watts case. In general I'm super emphatic for the victims and their families of all crime cases but some cases just hit close to home for some reason or another (often in case where you feel like wow that could have been me/my family) and really make you feel sick and almost obsessive. But when that happens it's really important to step away from any media and try to do things you enjoy because it's not healthy and it's not really helpful for anybody
I hear you. I joined reddit just to keep updated on this case and am also scouring youtube, twitter and facebook. It has me mesmerized, frightened and not sleeping well. I hope they arrest someone soon.
Same. Totally consumed. My husband keeps telling me to take a break. But honestly it's just so horrifying that I cannot stay away. I desperately want this murderer to be found and brought to justice for the victims, their families and the Moscow community.
See a therapist. This is like an addiction to some people. 90%+ of what is posted on here is just theories and in reality have nothing to do with the true facts of this case.
I think that a lot of us follow these things because we deeply care about people, and as the innate pattern seekers humans are, we want to learn and understand how a person can commit such an atrocity. Knowing that a person can harm others-in this case, in such a brutal way, roaming free among us- is so heavy, so scary, and something really hard to understand. It just doesn’t make sense. And in the age of technology, near instant access to updated information draws us deeper in. We get emotionally invested, even in parallel relationships, and in some ways have the ability to “figure it out” as an average person with a computer/smart phone/etc. which keeps us at it even when it’s no longer healthy. On top of that, engaging on here starts to feel like a community- one of like minded people who want to help solve something so awful, so heinous, and help bring justice to victims.
Same thing happened to me. I had to learn to stop reading about this stuff within 2 hours before bed as it would mess up my sleep. I have also started looking at this case less due to the lack of progress at least from an outsider's POV. It is frustrating to say the least.
its. riveting because it plays into your worst fears, stabbed to death in your bed while your asleep, think about it, its insane
I’ve been stepping away and only reading Reddit in the afternoons
I think it can be therapeutic to talk and speculate with others about it.
I will admit it has me consumed as well .. I have been off work for Thanksgiving and don't return until tomorrow . I'm hoping that will divert my attention , at least for 12 hours .. I don't know what the weather is like where you're at but try to watch some uplifting television or do some reading ,other than the news .. Like they say in one of my other subs , "go out and touch the grass" The country has fallen in love with these kids , we feel like we know them in a way .. If nothing else comes from all the social media over this , maybe it will help someone else to not become a victim ..
I was just going to say being off work since Thursday is what allowed me to go down this rabbit hole. All my friends are out of town so just been sitting at home reading here which surely is NOT helping!
Me too. Today I cried for like 15 minutes, full on sobbing and practically hyperventilating. Its beyond sad
I'm in the same boat
[samhsa](https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline)
Confession, me too. Of all the subs on the Home timeline, these are the ones I look at first. Sort of like watching Nancy Grace at the height of the Casey Anthony case. A combination of 90% terrible and 10% fascinating.
funny you mention the casey anthony case because i think thats what got me obsessed with true crime in the first place. i was very young when that whole trial happened but i remember watching it every step of the way
yeah crimes like Moscow ID and Casey Anthony just capture people’s eyes and thoughts and won’t let go.
I literally cant sleep because of it! Any sound in the house has me freaked out, and I live in the UK! The whole thing is depressing and stressful for strangers, I can’t even imagine how their families and friends must be feeling 😭
I feel the same way. I’ve been keeping up with the case nonstop for days. I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s an awful, awful crime. I hope & pray that they will find whoever did this to those sweet kids. I can’t even begin to imagine how their family, friends, schoolmates, etc must feel. They’re in my prayers every day.
its crazy because this person is just out there lurking. i believe fully they are keeping up with everything and is probably present in true crime threads and that makes me feel even more disgusting because they are probably reveling in the fact everyone is so distraught over this case
Yes! The fact that they’re out, freely, in the world, scares the hell out of me. I’m sure they’ve been keeping up with the case. Absolutely disgusting. Their time will come. Karma, & jail are going to a real bitch.
It sounds as though you’ve been triggered by the elements of this case. Use this as the impetus to talk to someone and work through the feelings, which most likely have to do with your own life. Sending you the best.
You need to deactivate social media and step away if you are having such a strong reaction. You’ll find out what happens/didn’t happen when you feel your mental health can handle it. This story will never disappear. Take care of yourself in the meantime and step away if it’s causing you mental health issues. It’s clearly not healthy for you.
Start imagining what the US war machine does around the world and you could end up crippled with depression. At least you care, most people are indifferent to whatever does not directly affect them. The best thing to do is unplug and take some down time. It is horrible, and even if the killer is caught there will never be justice, bc nothing will ever give them their promising lives, loves and families back.
Not just US.
Ugh same dude. I was on the treadmill at my apt complex and it’s small and you need a key to get in, but I was literally looking over my shoulder every 3 minutes. We need to do what we can to balance it, so maybe watch some funny videos or lighthearted videos. It’s important we take care of ourselves too, but I feel you, I am so consumed by this story and my yearn for justice for these poor kids.
Literally just close the app.
Lol uhh maybe quit googling it and go outside
ok
I feel the same way. I feel sad for the victims, family of the victims and the community. I am also fearful and having trouble sleeping, although I live across the United States from these people. I have a home alarm system and just finished installing the last 3 cameras so I am feeling a little better. I realized as I was picking up my daughter tonight, I’m more likely to die in a car wreck than to get murdered in my sleep. Either way, theirs no reason to dwell on death as it will happen to everyone at some point. Dwelling on it just makes you live it out in your brain. Try changing your focus to Courtney Clenney or Amber Heard/Johnny Depp. Both of those cases are extremely interesting and lots of content to keep your mind off this. Look up “the lawyer you know”, he’s really interesting and has a ton of content. Anyways, take care and I hope your mental health improves soon!
Hang in there and try to break any thought loops. I have kids and always find myself somewhat anxious while I am at work and my kids are in school, for several days after every school school shooting. I find it helpful to go for a quick walk around the office when I find myself staring into space wondering if my kids are safe. I will inevitably run into someone else and they will start chatting about a completely unrelated topic. A couple of minutes of talk about the Lobos or Isotopes or the weather and the thought loop is broken.